- 1 week ago
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00:04So, did I pass?
00:06This close, young samurai.
00:08You're required to attach a red flag
00:10to any load protruding more than four feet.
00:12So you failed.
00:14But you're the one who put the...
00:14Also, not the first time I've used red flag
00:17and load protruding in the same sentence.
00:19Good job, Vic.
00:20You're the one who put the box in my car
00:22after you made me drive to the furniture store to pick it up.
00:24Okay, memory. Cool your jets.
00:27I'll consider a retest if you help me carry the box inside.
00:34Okay, come on. Let's go.
00:41Boop. That's it.
00:43So why are you bringing a coffee table to work anyway?
00:45Workers at the DMV get paid once a month.
00:46So the week before payday, when funds are low,
00:49we need side jobs.
00:51This month I'm assembling and delivering furniture for lazy people.
00:57Well, you're really, really good at it.
01:00I know.
01:00I'll catch you inside.
01:01I'm gonna hit the bono.
01:02I've got to load protruding.
01:06Full serve.
01:07Yeah.
01:08Hey.
01:08All right.
01:10Hey!
01:20One more pineapple and we win 25 grand.
01:23Come on, Ceci.
01:24I believe in your nails.
01:26Ah!
01:27Strawberry.
01:28We lost again.
01:29Honestly, I blame this room.
01:31It's got bad juju.
01:32Yeah, we should scratch the ticket in a room at the DMV that has no juju.
01:36I can't stand sleeping on my neighbor's futon.
01:40Well, that's on you for renting out your place as your side hustle.
01:43You know, you're a pretty girl.
01:45You could be one of those girls online that eats and everyone watches.
01:49I have seen you loudly house a double bacon chi.
01:52I'll think about it.
01:54You're perfect.
01:55I'm so tired.
01:56Can one of you take the next test, please?
01:58Not unless it's at 2 p.m. in a hatchback.
02:00I got a delivery.
02:01Sorry, Collette.
02:02I'm working over here.
02:03I'll take the next one if it's at a convenient time for me.
02:06Thanks.
02:06Hey, did one of you print this and an essay about a time you overcame adversity?
02:12Yeah, that's mine.
02:13Oh, wait.
02:14So you had a trip to Aspen ruined because the pilot for your private plane got a stomach bug?
02:19No, I'm rewriting college essays for wealthy private school kids.
02:23This one is Leland's.
02:24What's a Leland?
02:24It's a cross between a trip and a Brooks.
02:27I hate rich people.
02:28With their caviar, champagne, going to the movies and buying their candy from the concession stand.
02:34Not taking it out of their cargo pocket.
02:37Oh, totally, right?
02:38Yeah.
02:38Like rich people, I just, they're the worst.
02:40Like, the worst.
02:42More money, more problems.
02:43You heard.
02:44Yeah.
02:45Yeah.
02:46Yeah, I heard.
02:49So big, when was the last time you overcame adversity?
02:51Actually, Greg, I consider myself colorblind.
02:54I don't see adversity.
03:03Did you experience a life-threatening illness recently?
03:08No.
03:08Oh.
03:09Then you will soon.
03:11Now step back and smile.
03:12Go, go.
03:12Smile.
03:13Wait, what?
03:14Good enough.
03:15I...
03:15Good luck.
03:16Next!
03:17Hey, Ceci, can you translate this text from my renters?
03:20They only speak Spanish.
03:21That's Portuguese.
03:22But they're asking for your wifi password.
03:24It's Colette is rowdy.
03:27Get it?
03:28Like, router, but also.
03:29Woo!
03:30Yeah.
03:30Where's your candy?
03:32Haven't eaten yet today.
03:34There's no more Barb.
03:35Ugh.
03:36Can you just get a normal side hustle like everyone else instead of starving yourself every month?
03:39It's not just starving.
03:41It's energy conservation and deep breathing.
03:45Yes, yes, yes.
03:46We know.
03:46All part of the military preservation techniques you learn from your parents who are in the
03:50Marines.
03:51Good.
03:51I knew a Marine.
03:53Now that girl was rowdy.
03:55I'm rowdy.
03:56Listen.
03:57Mm.
03:57I can't get a second job.
03:59I am manager of the Galdang DMV, and I need to be singularly focused and alert.
04:06Oh.
04:07Your shoe's on the wrong foot.
04:08Ugh.
04:09Your shoe's on the wrong foot, Ceci.
04:12I'm Colette.
04:13I'm Ceci.
04:13I'd laugh, but I'm in the middle of an inhale.
04:17Barb, your lips are blue.
04:20You need a Snickers.
04:21I need help.
04:24Okay.
04:28Hey, about earlier.
04:31I hope the stuff Vic said about rich people didn't offend you.
04:34You know, you being a former rich kid and all.
04:37Oh, yeah, yes.
04:39Um, hey, I'd rather not talk about it, to be honest.
04:42Oh, don't worry.
04:44I haven't told anyone that your parents are rich.
04:47You know, I still can't believe you cut them off and chose to be one of us.
04:51One of you?
04:52Really, I still feel like the new guy.
04:54No one sees you that way.
04:56Right.
04:56New guy.
04:57Plot twist.
04:58Turns out the coffee table's bigger outside the box than inside.
05:02Completely unpredictable.
05:04I don't think that coffee table's gonna fit into the butt mobile.
05:07Oh, well, why don't you ask Noah?
05:09He can help you, right?
05:10He doesn't have his license, but he has that big van.
05:13Okay.
05:14Yeah.
05:14Yeah.
05:15What do you think, surfer girl?
05:17Help me build?
05:18We transpo in your van-o?
05:20Bigger cars?
05:21Bigger jobs?
05:22Bigger dinero?
05:22I think...
05:24Yeah.
05:25That would be great.
05:26All right.
05:27We split everything down the middle.
05:2860-40.
05:29Yeah.
05:30Come on, let's make some, dog.
05:32You're right.
05:32Yeah.
05:33Okay.
05:35All right.
05:36Greg, you did good.
05:41You wanted to see me?
05:43Yes.
05:43You made me realize that by depriving myself, I'm depriving the DMV.
05:48It's so nice to be acknowledged, but I don't know what I'm being acknowledged for.
05:51I got a side hustle.
05:53Ooh.
05:54Food delivery?
05:54Dog walking.
05:55Man walking.
05:56It's a fetish.
05:57I did it once.
05:58Twice.
05:59Why don't I wait and have you tell me?
06:01Self gloves!
06:02Self gloves?
06:03Oh.
06:04After having a conversation with my upstream liaison,
06:06I have become a self-glove ambassador.
06:09Oh.
06:10You see, I've made the bold choice to glove myself.
06:14Oh, they smell weird.
06:15What is this?
06:16I don't think it's real.
06:17Oh.
06:18It's funny you should say real, because our unique system of gloves provides real results,
06:23such as anti-aging, relaxation, and hip opening.
06:27That?
06:28That sounds impossible.
06:29It was.
06:30Until now.
06:31There's more.
06:32Once I start recruiting ambassadors for my team, I start building a passive income stream.
06:37Oh.
06:37It helps if you think of it as a pyramid.
06:40Barb, this is a multi-level marketing scheme.
06:43They took advantage of you.
06:44No.
06:45I've taken advantage of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
06:49Oh, God.
06:49This is...
06:50For financial freedom!
06:51Oh, this is so bad.
06:53Don't worry.
06:53I'm gonna call.
06:55Let me get you out of this.
06:56Read the pamphlet.
06:57It's not good.
06:58I'm going to become a millionaire.
06:59Oh, my God.
07:00Oh.
07:01Honey, it's working already.
07:03Uh, Mr. Davenport, I got your message about Leland's essay, and I appreciate your suggestion,
07:09but I'm not sure that nepotism is the most compelling form of adversity.
07:14You're right.
07:15What the hell?
07:16Also, I don't think that throwing like a girl is technically a disability, but I will
07:23keep working on it.
07:27Did you Uber to work?
07:29Uh, yeah, because I don't have my license.
07:31You know that.
07:32Well, how can you afford to Uber so close to payday?
07:35I...
07:35You work at the DMV.
07:37You don't have a side hustle.
07:39You're in no rush to get your driver's license.
07:41There's no sign of depression.
07:43It's as if you have money.
07:45I thought you said your parents cut you off.
07:47I said I cut them off.
07:49And I did, but I didn't cut Curtis off.
07:52Uh, well, explain it to me like I don't know who Curtis is, because I don't know who Curtis
07:56is.
07:56So Curtis, he's my family's business manager, so he manages my finances.
08:00So you're still rich?
08:02No.
08:02No, I'm not rich.
08:03Who pays your rent?
08:04Curtis.
08:05Who pays your credit card?
08:06Curtis.
08:07When you bought your van, you said that your bank account was wiped out.
08:10Yeah, it was, but then Curtis refilled it.
08:14Wow.
08:15Noah, bro, don't be sleeping on the job day one.
08:19We got bunk beds to build.
08:20Okay.
08:21Boom, boom, boom, boom.
08:23It's a little jerk.
08:24Hey, please, can we keep this between us?
08:26Thank you, mate.
08:27Yeah.
08:29Wow, Noah's rich.
08:32That explains the teeth.
08:35The best things in life are free.
08:38But you can give them to the birds and bees.
08:42I want money.
08:45That's what I want.
08:47Oh, my God, Colette, did you hear that bar fell from some multi-level pyramid scheme
08:50and was trying to sell gloves to everybody in the office?
08:52Yeah, I called and I tried to get her out of it, but turns out this one's legit.
08:58Oh, my God.
08:59I simply cannot.
09:00Do you know that feeling when winter ends and you shave your legs for the first time in
09:04three months and then you get in the clean sheets?
09:06No.
09:07No, we don't even have winter here.
09:08That's what it feels like when you put these on.
09:11And the company is super impressive.
09:13They have a dynamic business model structured around you being your own boss.
09:17Can't believe they got you, too.
09:18Yeah, they got me.
09:20They got me a big opportunity to build my own business.
09:22Honestly, sad.
09:23I moved three units and already I'm a level two finger slinger on track to win a white Cadillac
09:28and a vacation in Cancun.
09:30Holiday weekends excluded, restrictions apply.
09:32My abuela gets sucked into one of these every week.
09:33What's the cult leader's name?
09:35I'll call and get you both out of it.
09:36And does this Cadillac only come in white or could I get a custom color?
09:42Rose gold when you are talking my language.
09:45Girl.
09:47Buddy.
09:47Yeah.
09:48You're taking apart the pieces that came put together.
09:50What?
09:52It's okay if you want to do this by yourself and then you can just use my van.
09:56Hey.
09:57No way.
09:58We're partners.
09:59All right?
10:00I'll teach you.
10:00Are you sure?
10:01Because I'm so slow at this.
10:03Hey, no one's slower than me.
10:05Besides, you probably need the money even more than I do.
10:09You all right, Greggy?
10:11Uh, yeah.
10:12I'm just getting a little annoyed at the rich kid in my essay.
10:17Mm.
10:18Mm.
10:18Uh, your test drive is here.
10:20Oh, perfect.
10:21I'll have him go through the drive-thru and grab us some burgies.
10:23Then we can hop on this bed and start screwing.
10:25Okay.
10:27Sweet.
10:29What are you doing?
10:30Anticipating my burgies.
10:31You're also walking around in poor face, acting like someone who needs money when you
10:36don't.
10:36You're like Leland in this essay, working in the kitchen at his country club in order
10:41to get inspiration for his student film.
10:44Hey, I-
10:44It's offensive.
10:45I didn't mean it like that.
10:46Well, you need to tell Vic the truth.
10:48I feel like that's a really hard conversation to have.
10:51Yeah, well, if you don't have it, I will.
10:54That would be amazing.
10:55Thank you so much, man.
10:57Oh, what a relief.
10:59Okay.
11:03I'm sorry.
11:04I noticed you from across the room.
11:06Are you an entrepreneur?
11:07Do you wanna be?
11:09What if I told you that everything you need to be successful is right in the palm of your
11:13glove?
11:16The entry-level package is called Glovely Lady.
11:19Oh, my God.
11:19Since I have had such a lovely time chatting with you, if you sign up right now, I'll even
11:23give you a cuticle mask for free, which I'm not allowed to do, so don't tell my boss.
11:27Girl, just kidding.
11:28I am my own boss.
11:29Hello.
11:30Look at this.
11:30Sure.
11:32Waterman, Waterman, you won't regret this.
11:34If my lover came home with a pair of gloves like that and a new passive income, we'd be
11:39playing choose your own adventure that night, you know what I mean?
11:44Have fun, kids.
11:47Oh, there you are.
11:49Listen, I wanted to talk to you.
11:50Oh, dude.
11:51Check this out.
11:52Whoopsh!
11:53Business cards.
11:54Cool, right?
11:55Why so big?
11:56So people don't lose them.
11:57Duh.
11:58It's like a gas station bathroom key.
12:00Brilliant.
12:01Uh, listen, about Noah.
12:03Yeah, you know what?
12:04Thanks for suggesting I take him on.
12:06First, I was just using him for his van, but I really like teaching him.
12:11It's nice helping people.
12:12Yeah, it's something we don't get to do working here at the DMV.
12:16Anyways, thanks for putting the two strap studs together, bro.
12:19Oh, but you were saying something about Noah?
12:21Um...
12:22It's nothing.
12:23What are you humming?
12:24Oh, the theme song?
12:26Oh, let me hear it.
12:27Um, it's like...
12:30Do you need a stud?
12:32Maybe two?
12:33We got two strap studs for you!
12:36That answers every question somebody would ask about two strap studs.
12:40Boom, bop, boom, boom, boom, bop.
12:41It's a little long.
12:44Need some help from two guys?
12:47Well, we can be those guys.
12:50And if you don't...
12:51Love it.
12:51...need that help.
12:54I sold four pairs on my family text chain, all to my aunts.
12:57That's crazy.
12:58Should we ask for a time off now for the Self Glove conference in June?
13:01Galveston is beautiful, I hear.
13:03You know that I'm 12 pairs away from getting free registration?
13:06But then I'm out, while I'm on top of the pyramid.
13:09Ugh, it feels so good to finally become the woman I knew I could be.
13:14Isn't it so crazy that this is the last month we have to worry about payday?
13:18I evicted my tenants last night.
13:20We all yelled and cried, but it was so worth it to sleep in my bed again.
13:23This time next month, the DMV is going to be our side hustle.
13:26I know, it's like, should I have a baby?
13:27No.
13:28I can afford it now.
13:29Hmm.
13:29Yeah, totally, that's what I thought.
13:30Hey, ladies.
13:32Hey, Barbie.
13:34Hey, Barb.
13:34So glad I got us all involved in this.
13:37We love it.
13:37Quick question, on a scale from one to fire ants, how weird do your hands feel?
13:43Oh!
13:44Barb!
13:45Oh, my God!
13:46No, nothing.
13:46Not like that.
13:48I know, they're stinging bad.
13:49You must have done something weird, okay?
13:51Like, like, gardens or pet a kitten or something.
13:54That cannot be from our Superior Glove product.
13:56No, it can't be from these.
13:58Because if it were, that would be...
14:00Bad!
14:00Bad!
14:01I'm gonna have to take your word for it because I can't actually feel my hands.
14:05I already have a foot thing, now I got a hand thing!
14:08Pull it together, you two, okay?
14:10No more negative talk.
14:11But I was certified by the state of Flyrona!
14:14This is not the self-gloved language that launches us into a new stratosphere of self-growth!
14:19Oh, my God.
14:19I'm hearing it now, too.
14:21Well, I'm listening, but I'm not behind it!
14:23Mom!
14:24Mom!
14:24It's a scam!
14:26But I already booked the Glover's Lane Package to Galvestan!
14:30Get out of here, John Rhys!
14:34No, I don't think we should tell Vic the truth just yet.
14:38What truth?
14:39Oh!
14:41Well, this predictably blew up in my face.
14:46The truth is, I'm the one...
14:48No, no, wait, hold on a second.
14:50This is mine to tell.
14:51Vic, the truth is...
14:54I...
14:55Greg and I are in love.
14:57Yes!
14:57What?!
14:58He owes me 30 bucks!
14:59No!
15:00Noah is rich!
15:01I'm not rich.
15:02I just...
15:03I have a safety net.
15:04You know how some rich people think they're not rich because there's richer people?
15:08Yeah.
15:09Well, Noah has a Curtis.
15:12Is that like a Leland?
15:14My family is wealthy.
15:16Yeah.
15:16Like you've been jet skiing?
15:18Well, it's the only thing to do at our private lake.
15:21So you don't need a side hustle?
15:23Look, no, I don't need a side hustle, but I like doing this with you.
15:27But you don't need it.
15:29Just like I don't need you.
15:34Mate, no!
15:37Come on!
15:38Just gotta bend a little bit first, lick it.
15:43Dang heavy card stuff.
15:48Betrayed by my muscles and my friend.
15:54Okay, Luann, I see.
15:55I just find it a little funny that the rewards are printed in big, bold letters on the front,
16:00while the warnings about skin lesions are buried in a word search on the back, hmm?
16:03I just wanna know what you plan to do to right this wrong.
16:07What did you say?
16:09Oh, Luann, you better watch where your husband goes in.
16:12You know what?
16:12Just for that, I'm not gonna reverse the hex I put on your family!
16:17So like an 80% refund, or?
16:19We signed away all of our rights to even complain.
16:22I know that I got us into all this, but let's not point fingers, cause we can't.
16:26I think the important thing is that no one could have seen this coming.
16:30You guys, payday is still days away.
16:32How's anyone gonna take me seriously as a palm reader when these gloves literally erased my lifeline?
16:36Mine smell.
16:37I went into credit card debt for this.
16:39It's like cooking the skin.
16:41Oh, I guess I'm having willpower for dinner.
16:43Barb.
16:44It's with deep humility that I ask.
16:47Will you teach us your military preservation techniques?
16:51It will be my highest honor.
16:53First things first, you do not wanna eat your hair.
16:56It will clog your drains like you cannot even imagine.
17:00Mmm.
17:01Okay.
17:01Aww.
17:04Hey, Vic.
17:05I'm really sorry I lied to you.
17:07I don't care that you lied.
17:09Nobody lies more than me.
17:10I love lying.
17:10Lying's the best.
17:11We should lie more.
17:12I'm just bummed Noah's not who I thought he was.
17:16I mean, is he even British?
17:18Well, actually, he's from New...
17:20Yeah.
17:21You know what?
17:21He is still British.
17:22I feel so stupid.
17:24Well...
17:24I thought I was teaching him.
17:25You were.
17:26And just because he's rich doesn't change that.
17:29Look, Noah has zero survival skills.
17:33He's like Leland.
17:34Wait.
17:36That's it.
17:37He has faced adversity.
17:38His parents.
17:39They never expected anything from him.
17:42They won't even let him write his own college essay.
17:44So maybe we all have more in common than not.
17:48You think?
17:49No, but it makes a great essay.
17:51Oh.
17:52Hey.
17:53Vic, I know you might be mad at me, but I...
17:55I do need some help with this.
17:57Don't patronize me.
17:58You don't know how to use a hammer?
18:00No.
18:00I do.
18:01I just...
18:01I don't know how to unglue it from my hand.
18:03Like, it's like...
18:06It's stuck.
18:07Okay.
18:08Come on, rich guy.
18:10Hey.
18:11Is it okay if we go back to...
18:13New guy?
18:15Undecided.
18:16Bergie's on you this time.
18:18That's...
18:18That's fair.
18:20Gotta get a little nail polish remover.
18:22Two strap studs.
18:26Together again.
18:29The best things in life are free.
18:33But you can give them to the birds and bees.
18:36I want money.
18:39All right.
18:40Ice blended mocha mocha chowset.
18:42Pew pew.
18:43Strawberry buttermilk.
18:43Extra sweet.
18:44That's me.
18:45Oh, my God.
18:45It feels so good to have cash again.
18:48I know.
18:49I bought a wholeness skincare routine this morning.
18:51Can you tell?
18:52Oh.
18:52No.
18:53I bought a woman's robe because it was the first ad I saw after I got paid.
18:58Jeez.
18:58You wonder why everybody's broke at the end of the month.
19:01Well, not everyone.
19:02I still can't believe he doesn't have to work here.
19:05Yeah, he does it because he likes it.
19:07Sick bastard.
19:08So how rich do you think we're talking?
19:10Like stairs in the house?
19:12Mmm.
19:12Probably elevators.
19:14Whoa.
19:14Like a hospital.
19:15I wonder if he's in the market for 60 pairs of defective gloves.
19:18Don't waste your time.
19:19He has to run all of his expenses by his money manager, whose motto is,
19:23Ignore the fund in trust fund.
19:26Of course we get the nice rich guy who can't spend any of his money on us.
19:30It actually all makes sense now.
19:32Like he's sheltered.
19:33He's a little naive.
19:34That's why he wasn't into me.
19:35I'm too exotic and street smart for him.
19:39Oh, yeah.
19:40Alright.
19:40Okay.
19:44Hi.
19:45Hi.
19:45You know it makes sense why he threw away a perfectly good stapler.
19:48Yeah, he doesn't know you have to refill things.
19:51That's why he wears those ugly sandals.
19:53He probably doesn't know how to tie his own shoes.
19:55Yeah.
19:55Well, guess you're not the office dummy anymore, Greg.
19:59Colette, tell me more about these gloves.
20:02Yeah, well, walk with me.
20:03How do you feel about deep exfoliation?
20:06Congrats, man.
20:07You built bunk beds.
20:08Thanks, man.
20:09Oh, I was talking to me.
20:10But congrats to you two.
20:12You watched me build bunk beds.
20:15Yeah.
20:15Hey, I still have one question.
20:17Oh, the birds are the boys, the bees are the girls.
20:19No.
20:19What's the point in having two beds, like, stacked on top of each other?
20:23You can only sleep in one at a time.
20:25So it's like...
20:25Come on, bro.
20:26Well, sometimes people have to share a room.
20:30Oh, so it's going on a boat.
20:32Well, I...
20:34Ah.
20:35Dibs on top bunk.
20:36Okay.
20:43I think we missed a few parts.
20:49Do you need a stud?
20:51Do you perhaps need two studs?
20:54Two strap studs.
20:56They're coming for you.
20:57You got stuff you've gotta do.
21:00You need some help from two guys.
21:02Well, we can be those guys.
21:04Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
21:09Ooh, two straps studs.
21:11I love it.
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