00:00Private Eye on the Atari 2600, published by Activision.
00:05The game starts when you push the reset button.
00:09So you start out, you're this private eye I guess,
00:13but you jump a million miles out of your car.
00:16The car flies up, it's like you have spring legs.
00:19You start out at the police station, you go around, random place,
00:24like most Atari games it's based on points, there's a time limit too.
00:29You're supposed to catch the guys with the question marks, got 100 points,
00:33but everything tries to kill you.
00:35See that oil spot? Took away like, I don't know, 85 of my points?
00:40It's just an oil spot.
00:42Don't know why some windows have window dressings too.
00:47People are throwing flower pots at you?
00:49What are you, like the world's worst private eye everyone hates you?
00:53God, it removes so many of your points, it's crazy.
00:55Get the guy, random fire hydrant.
01:01Falling bricks?
01:02Who did this masonry?
01:05Get the guy with the question mark.
01:08He's really sneaky when he has a question mark above his head.
01:13First bank.
01:14First bank of what?
01:15No points.
01:17Ah, there's a tiny rat.
01:20Did you see that?
01:20Tiny rat.
01:22Get that guy.
01:24Move along.
01:25Ah, stupid tiny rat.
01:26Look, a bird.
01:27There's nothing here, so why should I stay here?
01:30Another bird.
01:32Oh, boy.
01:34Get the guy.
01:35I have 100 points left.
01:38Wow.
01:41Okay, I got the guy.
01:45Why are there random window dressings?
01:48Some of the windows.
01:49Some people care about their windows?
01:51I don't know.
01:53Okay, there's a tiny gun in the corner, so I should probably go that way.
01:57Okay, obstacle.
01:58Try to jump over.
01:59What the fuck?
02:01Try that again.
02:03No!
02:03What?
02:05Why can't I jump over this thing?
02:08You think?
02:11Okay, I'll try driving through it.
02:13Well, that doesn't work.
02:15Just jump over it.
02:16No?
02:17Maybe from farther away.
02:19No.
02:21Close?
02:22Definitely not.
02:23Ugh, this game sucks.
02:25And I'm wasting all my time.
02:2742 seconds?
02:29Come on.
02:30I just want to get over the thing.
02:32The gun tells me I have to go to the right.
02:34So I'm trying to go to the right.
02:36This is ridiculous.
02:38Why make an obstacle you can't go over?
02:45If the stupid car didn't have such giant wheels,
02:48it doesn't even look like a car.
02:50It looks like a body bag on wheels with some sort of steering wheel or rip in the bag.
02:54I don't know.
02:56Only got 15 seconds.
02:57I can't get over this thing.
02:59It's crazy.
03:00Try it.
03:01No, I can't.
03:02Jump from farther away.
03:03Not happening.
03:05Go.
03:06I just can't.
03:08This is freaking ridiculous.
03:11Look.
03:11Game over.
03:13Ran out of time.
03:13Because I couldn't get over the freaking obstacle.
03:16This game is crappy.
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