- 1 day ago
Category
🐳
AnimalsTranscript
00:00:28For more information visit www.fema.gov
00:00:42Hello? Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans. I mean, it's only two days away and we still
00:00:47haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate. So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip too.
00:00:54Sue, I meant to tell you before but I wanted to be sure. I think I'm going to spend my
00:01:01birthday with Jake. I'm going to lose my virginity to him. You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:07What? But you can't. I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage. Besides, you can't do that
00:01:15to us. You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:19This is bad. You know, I'm going to tell Lexi. She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:31Come on, Lexi.
00:01:34Come on, Lexi.
00:01:37Come on, Lexi.
00:01:48So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:52Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:57But this is the big 1-8. I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done
00:02:02something new and special. But this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:07So, what's something we've never done before? Mushrooms? No, not like that. Like something nice. Like maybe a trip. Like
00:02:17a mushroom trip? No.
00:02:22Sorry, Sue. I have a date. So do I. Sorry, Sue. Don't worry, Sue. We'll figure it out.
00:02:42Oh, flowers, are these from you? Yeah, sure. Here you go. No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:51I didn't know how to put my feelings into words. I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:03:01Oh, Jake.
00:03:06Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:03:09Uh, no, Jake. Not yet. When we do it, I want it to be really special. The best night of
00:03:15my life.
00:03:16It will be. I promise. It will always be amazing. With you and me. Together.
00:03:31Jake, no. I have to go. I have to work on my art project.
00:03:36You know, I thought art was gonna be a really easy elective, but I guess I should have taken more
00:03:40math.
00:03:42Uh, so you're gonna come to my birthday, okay? The Saturday?
00:03:47Of course.
00:03:52Thanks.
00:03:54Okay. Bye.
00:04:05Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.
00:04:08Oh, baby. You're so hot. I'm gonna do you so good.
00:04:12Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah.
00:04:13What was your name again?
00:04:15Rod. Sex guy.
00:04:21Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:04:26Yeah, right. I bet.
00:04:34Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday? Oh, no.
00:04:40Does not compute. Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:47Oh, huh. Hi.
00:04:51When did you get home?
00:04:53So, is it true?
00:04:54Yes, it is.
00:04:56It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:05:01I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:05:08So, I just think it's the right time.
00:05:12Lexi, tell her, losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:05:17On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:05:20Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday or maybe even like our 29th, 8th, maybe.
00:05:29Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:36I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:46But Cheryl, Sue is right. We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:52Oh, does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:56It's not Jake. It's the male ideal.
00:06:01Like a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:06:05Right.
00:06:07Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:06:09Me and it kind of sucks. I'm not really an artist.
00:06:12Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:06:14The point is we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:06:19And I'm just not ready yet.
00:06:21I'm waiting for a sign and then I'll know it's right.
00:06:24Look, I can go either way.
00:06:26I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:06:32I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:35Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:39But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:45You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:52Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:55To church, to pray for you.
00:06:57I want to be first in line.
00:07:00I'm getting this.
00:07:02Yeah, me too.
00:07:13Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:07:15It's been four days since my last confession.
00:07:17I accused myself of the following sins.
00:07:20Mm-hmm.
00:07:22Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but it's about sex.
00:07:31I mean, not me.
00:07:32I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:07:35Aww.
00:07:37I've never even seen a guy's.
00:07:39Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:07:43But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:47But there was nothing there.
00:07:51Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:54My best friends.
00:07:56They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:59Okay.
00:08:00Third base.
00:08:02What?
00:08:03No.
00:08:04Like, sex.
00:08:05Like, intercourse?
00:08:07With boys, they barely even know.
00:08:09I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:08:11If you know what I mean.
00:08:12All the way.
00:08:13Go all the way.
00:08:16What?
00:08:17What?
00:08:19Ah!
00:08:20Ah!
00:08:22How could you do this?
00:08:24You're a bad, bad person.
00:08:28What?
00:08:35Yes.
00:08:36Yes!
00:08:37Run!
00:08:38Run!
00:08:38Run!
00:08:39Home rep!
00:08:41Ah!
00:08:42Damn it!
00:08:45Fucking Yankees!
00:08:48Sorry.
00:09:13Sue!
00:09:14It is 1pm.
00:09:17Would you have a little consideration?
00:09:18I'm trying to sleep.
00:09:21Geez.
00:09:21Can you guys please keep it down?
00:09:25I have an announcement to make.
00:09:26I want to do it.
00:09:29Do you hear me?
00:09:30I want to do it.
00:09:33This weekend.
00:09:34On our birthday.
00:09:35Do what?
00:09:38It.
00:09:39Screw.
00:09:40Screw.
00:09:41Screwing.
00:09:41Boning.
00:09:42Making beasts with two backs.
00:09:44You know.
00:09:44Shagging.
00:09:45Fucking.
00:09:48You do.
00:09:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:09:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:55Oh.
00:09:56I got a sign.
00:09:57At church.
00:09:59Really?
00:10:00Well.
00:10:01Okay.
00:10:02Great.
00:10:03We're all in then.
00:10:05So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:10:09Right?
00:10:10Right.
00:10:13I'll start making the shopping list.
00:10:24Hey Frank.
00:10:26Hi Sue.
00:10:28Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:10:31I don't know.
00:10:32Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:10:33Yeah.
00:10:34He's blind.
00:10:35Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:10:42Maybe.
00:10:43Bye.
00:10:44Hey.
00:10:45Um.
00:10:46I was wondering.
00:10:47We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:10:50It's for our birthday.
00:10:51Do you want to come?
00:10:52Do you think he can see what he's short?
00:11:07Well, the house looks done.
00:11:10Tomorrow's the big day.
00:11:12We finally turn 18.
00:11:14And finally lose our virginity.
00:11:17Well, we better get our baby sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:11:20So, okay.
00:11:21We know who Cheryl's gonna do it with.
00:11:23Jake.
00:11:24And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:11:26But Sue, who are you gonna pick?
00:11:28It's a poppy chain.
00:11:29It's easy.
00:11:30I've known for the past six years.
00:11:32Ever since catechism.
00:11:36What the fuck is catechism?
00:11:38I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:11:41Yeah.
00:11:50My soul mate.
00:11:52Okay.
00:11:54Chris?
00:11:55Sue.
00:11:57You, um, might want to think about picking a back up.
00:12:00I mean...
00:12:01What?
00:12:01No.
00:12:02Chris is perfect.
00:12:03He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:12:07Plus, his name's Chris.
00:12:08It's a sign.
00:12:09Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:12:15What?
00:12:16He does not.
00:12:17Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:12:19He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:12:22With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:12:26Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:12:29Look, Chris is my soul mate.
00:12:32Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:12:35See you in the morning.
00:12:44I knew it would happen someday.
00:12:45I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:13:20You're so perfect.
00:13:58I knew that's what I look like.
00:14:11You're so perfect.
00:14:15I knew that's what I look like.
00:14:18Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:14:37Tomorrow's the day.
00:15:00Oh, my gosh. They're coming.
00:15:04Lexi, Cheryl, hurry!
00:15:09Ew, why?
00:15:11It's for Jake to unwrap me. It's going to be really sexy. It's unnecessary.
00:15:16You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:15:19It's going to be really sexy.
00:15:20It's stupid. Just screw him.
00:15:23That's what he wants. That's what all guys want.
00:15:25Who hurt you as a child?
00:15:27Oh, Christ. I have your mouth, too.
00:15:31Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:15:36You're an idiot. A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:15:42Guys, seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:15:49Oh, what a cool bracelet! I love it!
00:15:55Um...
00:15:55You should put that down, though, because it's, like...
00:15:57It's very fragile.
00:15:59Yeah.
00:16:00Let's put it down.
00:16:01Hurry up.
00:16:05Those are your anal beads, right?
00:16:07Yeah.
00:16:07Okay, let's go.
00:16:23Let's go.
00:16:29Whoa!
00:16:30Whoa!
00:16:32Whoa!
00:16:33Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:16:35Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts.
00:16:37Nice!
00:16:48Happy birthday, Lex!
00:16:51No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:16:55That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:16:59And the other one is edible mystical joy.
00:17:02Oh, how did you know?
00:17:04I mean, I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:17:12Buster, such a cutie.
00:17:15Please don't touch my service time.
00:17:17No.
00:17:18Alright, sorry.
00:17:19Are you okay now?
00:17:20Yeah, I'm fine.
00:17:21Okay.
00:17:22See you later.
00:17:26I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:17:28This is crazy.
00:17:29Jake!
00:17:31Hi!
00:17:32Hey, babe.
00:17:33Happy birthday.
00:17:36Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:17:39What?
00:17:40You want a beer?
00:17:44No.
00:17:47No.
00:17:49Oh, hon.
00:17:50Come here.
00:17:54I have your present here.
00:17:56I'll give it to you later.
00:17:57The time's right.
00:17:59You didn't have to give me anything.
00:18:02And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:18:09Hey, Rob.
00:18:10We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:18:13A little bet.
00:18:18Alright, this is my man right here.
00:18:20Hey.
00:18:21How you doing?
00:18:22Hey.
00:18:32Check it out!
00:18:35Dare me?
00:18:40Woo-hoo!
00:18:48Look at the joke.
00:18:49Look at the joke.
00:18:50Look at the joke.
00:18:54Oh, dude.
00:18:55Look at those.
00:18:55Are those real?
00:18:57I don't...
00:18:57Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:18:58Hey!
00:18:59Ah, dude!
00:19:00Move!
00:19:00Come on!
00:19:00Lame!
00:19:01Oh.
00:19:02Alright.
00:19:03Okay.
00:19:03I'll see you guys later.
00:19:04Go!
00:19:05Go do some push-ups or something.
00:19:06Aw, the moves.
00:19:07Wendy Buck says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:19:11Yeah!
00:19:13They're fake anyways.
00:19:15Who cares?
00:19:16Okay.
00:19:21Oh, dude, dude.
00:19:23I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:19:28Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:19:30Here, let me.
00:19:30Joanna, no.
00:19:32Just go enjoy the birthday.
00:19:34Come on.
00:19:36Open.
00:19:39Hey.
00:19:40Do my lips look any plumper?
00:19:42I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:19:46Have you guys seen Jake?
00:19:47I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:19:49It just, like, disappeared.
00:20:03Are these real?
00:20:05Of course they are.
00:20:08How come I think they're not even close?
00:20:10I don't know.
00:20:11Maybe he's gonna be around.
00:20:12Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:20:14Um, I think he's around or something.
00:20:17Maybe upstairs.
00:20:18I don't know.
00:20:19I don't know.
00:20:19Maybe he's gonna be around.
00:20:20Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:20:22That's probably where he went.
00:20:28Liquid Courage?
00:20:30Yeah.
00:20:31Mm-hmm.
00:20:31Atta girl.
00:20:36Vodka Cranberry?
00:20:37Surely simple.
00:20:40Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:20:42I can go meet a ride.
00:20:44Sue?
00:20:45Are you okay?
00:20:47Sue?
00:20:47Relax.
00:20:50They're just nice.
00:20:52Okay.
00:20:52Nothing to be scared of.
00:20:53Seriously.
00:20:54You're gonna be fine.
00:20:55Is Chris here?
00:21:02Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:21:05No.
00:21:06He does not have gay face.
00:21:08I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:21:10I'm gonna do it.
00:21:19I'm gonna do it.
00:21:26I'm gonna do this.
00:21:27Good luck.
00:21:31Hey, you can do this.
00:21:33Just act like a slut.
00:21:34I'm gonna do it.
00:21:37Just pretend.
00:21:40Good luck.
00:21:47Yeah, my favorite chapter song, ignore.
00:21:51Chris.
00:21:53Hi.
00:21:54Can I talk to you?
00:21:56Uh-huh.
00:21:58In private?
00:22:14Oh, hey, Lexi. Hey, Lexi.
00:22:16What?
00:22:19Chris, you're so sexy. Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just... I've known that we were meant to
00:22:27be together.
00:22:29And I really want to...
00:22:33Oh, what are you doing?
00:22:35Is that wrong?
00:22:36Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:22:38Nothing. I'm sorry. I don't know how to do this.
00:22:42Sue. Sue, Sue. I understand these urges. And, you know, I like you too.
00:22:56Really? You do?
00:22:58I do. I really do. I like you too.
00:23:03Really? You do?
00:23:05I do. I really do. It's just... I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:23:15Right. Lexi said you were...
00:23:18Jesus.
00:23:19Oh. That man.
00:23:21Of course. What did you think?
00:23:24Oh, nothing. So we can still do this then?
00:23:28Oh, Sue. You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think
00:23:41about him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed over each other
00:23:55so delicately.
00:23:57Beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty, under that hot, hot sun. I just feel such compassion.
00:24:12I think about those things too.
00:24:15So you understand why I can't do this?
00:24:19Not really.
00:24:21I just find it too hard. It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for
00:24:31us. So...
00:24:43You're gonna go out there, right? Andy, we're gonna tell you to leave on.
00:24:47Hey, Ty. Whoa!
00:24:50Have you seen Jake?
00:24:52Uh, no. No.
00:24:54All right.
00:24:58All right.
00:24:58Okay. All right. Focus. Focus. Focus.
00:25:07Oh, there he is.
00:25:11Oh, you got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:25:28How could he?
00:25:33Sue, what happened? Did you guys do it? Sue?
00:25:38He doesn't want me.
00:25:40Because he's gay.
00:25:42No, he's not. He just really loves Jesus.
00:25:45Oh, come on, Sue. The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real
00:25:51possibility for you.
00:25:53Look, the only way you are gonna find out what kind of man you really want is to know what
00:25:59kind of woman you really are, deep inside.
00:26:03What?
00:26:04Come with me.
00:26:06Where?
00:26:07To meet your dark side.
00:26:15Out. Everyone out.
00:26:27Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:26:45I really can't. I really don't think I can do this.
00:26:49I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:26:55I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:27:01Sue?
00:27:02Can you see it?
00:27:05Sue.
00:27:09I'm almost...
00:27:11I'm almost there.
00:27:17What?
00:27:20What? Sue, what happened? What did you see?
00:27:23A raccoon?
00:27:25What?
00:27:27You overshot it. Aim the mirror further up.
00:27:37I can't.
00:27:38Please don't make me do that again.
00:27:40Okay, fine. Fine.
00:27:42Fine.
00:27:43I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:27:46What?
00:27:47You really need an orgasm.
00:27:50Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never even had it
00:27:55with yourself.
00:27:55This really has to be your first step.
00:27:58Les, I'm ready.
00:28:00Coming.
00:28:01Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:28:04Just find it and use it.
00:28:06Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:28:09It's black. It vibrates.
00:28:13Come on, Rod.
00:28:15Let's go to Sue's room.
00:28:18And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:28:32Hey, cutie! Cutie!
00:28:40Boozeye!
00:28:42Oh, yeah!
00:28:46Bang!
00:28:48Bang!
00:28:49Bang!
00:28:51Good boy.
00:28:52Straighten up.
00:28:54Good boy.
00:28:55Good boy.
00:28:56He knows over a hundred commands.
00:29:00I'm sorry.
00:29:01I can't see anything.
00:29:02That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:29:05What a bitch.
00:29:07Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:29:11Ah!
00:29:17Ah!
00:29:21Ah!
00:29:22Ah!
00:29:24Ah!
00:29:28Ah!
00:29:29Ah!
00:29:30Ah!
00:29:31Ah!
00:29:32Ah!
00:29:34Ah!
00:29:35Ah!
00:29:36Ah!
00:29:39Oh, shit!
00:29:45What's wrong with this thing?
00:29:49Nice shot!
00:29:52A direct hit!
00:30:23He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:30:25No, it's awful.
00:30:27I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:30:36It's a text. It's from him.
00:30:38I can't bear myself to read it.
00:30:39Okay.
00:30:41He's looking for you.
00:30:42He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:30:45Oh, I can't face him.
00:30:47I have to go. I'm going.
00:30:49No, you can't just leave.
00:30:51Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:30:54I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:30:57He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:31:01Either way, it's bullshit.
00:31:02I see only one option.
00:31:05I'm leaving.
00:31:06Revenge sex.
00:31:08Re... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:10It means you find a guy,
00:31:12you screw his brains out,
00:31:13and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:18Revenge sex.
00:31:20Re... I mean, what?
00:31:21What does that even mean?
00:31:22It means you find a guy,
00:31:23you screw his brains out,
00:31:24and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:27But he... I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:31:29He doesn't even care about me.
00:31:30I mean, why would...
00:31:32He's just into other girls.
00:31:33Trust me, he'll care.
00:31:36Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him.
00:31:39To his ego.
00:31:40To screw someone else
00:31:41when you've never even had sex with him.
00:31:44Especially if it's with someone smarter,
00:31:46better looking,
00:31:47and with a bigger dick.
00:31:50No, I... I couldn't.
00:31:52Plus, I mean, there's...
00:31:53There's no one smarter and better looking.
00:31:56Eric!
00:31:57He's perfect!
00:31:59Eric Hall?
00:32:00Are you kidding?
00:32:01I mean,
00:32:02he wouldn't even be into me.
00:32:04He likes your type.
00:32:05Really?
00:32:06And what type is that?
00:32:07Slutty.
00:32:09Yeah.
00:32:10Trust me, he's amazing.
00:32:12I fooled around with him once.
00:32:13He has this great tongue, right?
00:32:15Oh, no.
00:32:16I can never fool around
00:32:18with somebody you fooled around with.
00:32:19Okay, then.
00:32:21Fine.
00:32:21We will find someone else.
00:32:23Someone that I haven't...
00:32:25fooled around with.
00:32:30Okay, what does it matter
00:32:31that I fooled around with him?
00:32:33I mean, it's like
00:32:33you're not gonna marry the guy.
00:32:35No, I just couldn't do it.
00:32:37Fine.
00:32:38If you want to live the rest of your life
00:32:40knowing that you had one chance
00:32:41to do the right thing,
00:32:43to make your boyfriend feel
00:32:44like a total worthless piece of garbage
00:32:46and possibly even scar him
00:32:48with the rest of his existence
00:32:49and you chose not to do it,
00:32:51go ahead.
00:32:52But honestly,
00:32:53I don't know how you'll be able
00:32:54to live with yourself.
00:32:57I don't know.
00:33:00But honestly,
00:33:01I don't know how you'll be able
00:33:02to live with yourself.
00:33:05I don't know.
00:33:06Trust me.
00:33:07It's going to work.
00:33:14I will intercept Jake
00:33:16and get him upstairs.
00:33:18Hi, Cheryl.
00:33:19Okay, enough to chat.
00:33:21Oh, no!
00:33:34Hey.
00:33:36Hey.
00:33:37Happy birthday.
00:33:40Thanks.
00:33:49Thanks.
00:34:04Have you guys seen Jake?
00:34:05Jake?
00:34:12So, happy birthday.
00:34:15Uh, do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:34:21But it's actually from us. U.S.
00:34:24America?
00:34:27United States?
00:34:28Uh, I know where we live.
00:34:30Right. Of course.
00:34:40Hey, Jesus, Erica, are you gonna make your move or not?
00:34:47Oh, you want me to move? Yeah, no, I can totally move. I just...
00:34:50No, you're fine.
00:35:05Jake!
00:35:08So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:35:10Oh, I'm sorry. It? What, um...
00:35:15It. Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:35:23Oh! Oh, you mean, like, uh, right now?
00:35:29I mean, well, yeah. You know, the sooner the better.
00:35:34Yeah, sure. I mean, well, yeah, of course. Um, I just never realized that you...
00:35:39Mm-hmm.
00:35:40I mean...
00:35:42Whew. Uh, it's just...
00:35:47You're so...
00:35:50You're so beautiful.
00:35:52Okay. Um...
00:35:53Hmm?
00:35:54Uh, no cuisine.
00:35:57Right. Um, of course. Sorry.
00:36:03So, um, do you wanna unwrap me?
00:36:09Oh, wow. Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:36:15Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:17Uh, you're fresh.
00:36:22Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:24Uh, you're fresh.
00:36:26Organic.
00:36:28Yep.
00:36:31Uh...
00:36:31So, the wrap.
00:36:32Right.
00:36:35Um...
00:36:36Uh...
00:36:36Where's the, uh...
00:36:37It's, uh, the end...
00:36:39The edge is, like, right over here.
00:36:40Oh, oh, yeah. Here it is.
00:36:41Yeah.
00:36:41I see it. Um, let me just, uh...
00:36:46Uh...
00:36:46Ow! Ow! Ow!
00:36:47Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I, um...
00:36:49It's... It's okay. Here. Do it again.
00:36:53Sorry, I, uh, I, uh...
00:36:55I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:36:57You know what? Let me just...
00:36:58Lay on the bed.
00:37:01Okay.
00:37:07Uh...
00:37:08Let me just...
00:37:09See.
00:37:11Oh, here it is. I got it.
00:37:12All right. It's, um...
00:37:14Pull it.
00:37:15Let me just...
00:37:16Ah!
00:37:17Oh!
00:37:19Oh, jeez. Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:37:22You okay?
00:37:23Help! Help!
00:37:26Uh...
00:37:27Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:37:29Oh, jeez.
00:37:32Uh...
00:37:33Yeah.
00:37:38Uh...
00:37:39Well, that was stupid.
00:37:40Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:37:44Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:38:00another beer chips are so damn salty jake upstairs yeah hold on take the piss how much beer
00:38:43finally i uh let me just get the blinds oh no no no no no um don't don't worry about
00:38:50it what
00:38:52i mean i want us to be able to see each other oh well okay okay
00:39:17finally i uh let me just get the blinds oh no no no no no um don't don't worry about
00:39:24it what
00:39:26i mean i want us to be able to see each other oh well okay okay
00:39:58so
00:40:24What are you doing?
00:40:25Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:40:34Um, not yet.
00:40:36More foreplay.
00:40:37Huh?
00:40:37Oh.
00:40:45So good.
00:40:47Oh.
00:40:49Yep.
00:40:51Oh, my God.
00:40:53Draw, draw, draw.
00:40:54What?
00:40:56Ah.
00:40:56Oh.
00:40:58Ah, dear.
00:41:00Lockjaw, lockjaw.
00:41:01Is that even a thing?
00:41:03I don't know.
00:41:06Ah.
00:41:07Are you okay?
00:41:11No, no, no, no.
00:41:13It's, uh, it's fine.
00:41:14I'm just, uh, embarrassed.
00:41:17It's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen.
00:41:24Are you sure you're okay?
00:41:26Yeah, yeah.
00:41:27I'm fine.
00:41:28Okay, great.
00:41:29Have fun.
00:41:29You don't see that.
00:41:29I have done everything in my hand.
00:41:30Um!
00:41:36Now.
00:41:37Now, let's do it now.
00:41:38No, not yet, not yet.
00:41:42All right, I'm gonna come.
00:41:43I'm gonna go, my work.
00:41:44Are you ready?
00:41:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:41:47No, no, no, not yet.
00:41:49flexible.
00:41:50Lexi! Oh, shh!
00:41:55No, no, no, not yet!
00:41:57Lexi! Lexi! Oh, shh!
00:42:01No means no!
00:42:02Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:42:06It's been a really long time and I haven't masturbated for anything.
00:42:13Oh, hey, Jake.
00:42:20How are you doing?
00:42:22How's it going?
00:42:23Good.
00:42:24Eric?
00:42:25Come.
00:42:26Eric, help me. I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:42:30Excuse me.
00:42:35Cheryl's in here.
00:42:41Sup, bruh?
00:42:42What the fuck is...
00:42:46Hey, wait!
00:42:49Lexi!
00:42:49Lexi!
00:42:49Hey, still waiting.
00:42:58Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:43:02Damn it.
00:43:04I'm gonna save something to that bitch.
00:43:07Hey, you!
00:43:09You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:43:16I'm so sorry! I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:43:19Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
00:43:45Oh man, no more water balloons.
00:43:48Sparty's ass!
00:43:52Yeah!
00:43:57This just isn't working on me.
00:44:01Nothing.
00:44:02What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:44:07I'm careful, man, my life stinks!
00:44:10Spark it up!
00:44:11Yes!
00:44:15Oh, man!
00:44:17I love this game!
00:44:18We need the controllers, we gotta play.
00:44:20Here, here, here.
00:44:21Okay, let me find another one.
00:44:25Woo!
00:44:28Look at this!
00:44:29Oh, my God!
00:44:31Fuel! Fuel!
00:44:33Get that thing away!
00:44:34Jesus!
00:44:43Hey, dude, nice shot.
00:44:44Yeah!
00:44:46Wasn't me!
00:44:52Whoa, whoa!
00:44:53Nice!
00:44:55Are you sitting in there or something?
00:44:59Hey, you found the grenade launcher!
00:45:01Nice!
00:45:01That's nice!
00:45:14Do you have the extra controller?
00:45:27Whoa!
00:45:30You are the controller!
00:45:32No!
00:45:33I just...
00:45:34I didn't...
00:45:35I swear...
00:45:48Hey!
00:45:49Hey!
00:45:49Hey, Sue!
00:45:51What are you doing, man?
00:45:54It's okay.
00:45:55Um...
00:45:56Hey, Sue!
00:46:09Didn't you hear me calling you?
00:46:10Didn't you hear me calling you?
00:46:10Yeah!
00:46:11I just needed to...
00:46:13Um...
00:46:13Oh!
00:46:14Sure!
00:46:16Listen, Sue...
00:46:18I...
00:46:18I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:46:21You were?
00:46:24You mean...
00:46:25Yeah.
00:46:29So you think we should give it a try?
00:46:33Can we go get a drink?
00:46:38Wow!
00:46:39Um...
00:46:39Your...
00:46:39Toilet's really...
00:46:41Oh...
00:46:42You...
00:46:43Do you know what?
00:46:44I...
00:46:44I gotta go!
00:46:45Um...
00:46:46Happy birthday!
00:46:47Uh, no!
00:46:47Chris!
00:46:48No, there wasn't!
00:46:48I didn't...
00:46:49Oh, God!
00:46:50Never mind!
00:47:04This is the worst idea ever.
00:47:07Never going to have sex.
00:47:09Ow!
00:47:31Hello?
00:47:32A little attention here.
00:47:34Oh, yeah.
00:47:35Sorry.
00:47:42Lex...
00:47:43Don't be selfish.
00:47:44Oh, right.
00:47:46Sorry.
00:47:59Ugh!
00:48:00Jeez!
00:48:01Who invented this stupid position, anyway?
00:48:05Too much fucking multitasking.
00:48:08Screw it.
00:48:17You know what?
00:48:19Ah, hehehe.
00:48:28Uh...
00:48:31uh...
00:48:33Ha!
00:48:34Uh...
00:48:34Uh...
00:48:34Uh...
00:48:35Uh...
00:48:36Uh...
00:48:52Oh, no, that was bad.
00:48:56That was so bad.
00:49:12Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:49:17I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:49:23Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:49:27Yes, it does.
00:49:29So, you're JJ?
00:49:31Uh-oh.
00:49:56Hello, welcome to 1-900-CONFESS.
00:50:00Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:50:02A nun.
00:50:03Please punch in your credit card number.
00:50:10Please hold.
00:50:12Oh, my goodness.
00:50:171-900-CONFESSION.
00:50:18How may I be of service?
00:50:20It's been one day since my last confession.
00:50:23I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:50:25One day.
00:50:28Ow!
00:50:34Is that too long?
00:50:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:50:38Go on.
00:50:40Um, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:50:44Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:50:47What's your problem?
00:50:48A washing machine touched her.
00:50:52Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:50:56All right, freak, time's up.
00:50:58What?
00:50:59But what do I do?
00:51:00Just unplug the thing.
00:51:01No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:51:06Well, then be happy.
00:51:08You found the perfect man.
00:51:10I'm serious.
00:51:11Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:51:15I'll tell you this.
00:51:17Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:51:20No contritions?
00:51:22You broke no covenant with God.
00:51:24It's not in the Bible.
00:51:26So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:51:30Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:51:33Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:51:37Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:51:39Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:51:43Huh.
00:51:44God's pretty cool that way.
00:51:46He sure is.
00:51:47Now run along.
00:51:51Wow.
00:51:53How do you know all that?
00:51:55Because I'm a nun.
00:51:57Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:52:00Huh.
00:52:01Accidental masturbation.
00:52:02Who'd it think?
00:52:13Revenge sex.
00:52:14What a stupid fucking idiot.
00:52:17Oh, God, I'm getting out of here.
00:52:21Yeah, admit it.
00:52:22I've got no game.
00:52:25I guess I can skip it.
00:52:26I guess I don't feel for you.
00:52:32Fucking douchebag.
00:52:34Damn it.
00:52:36Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:52:39You go, girl.
00:52:41What?
00:52:43What are you doing here?
00:52:44We needed some place private.
00:52:48But hey, listen.
00:52:49If you're serious about getting laid.
00:52:51Yeah.
00:52:52If you want someone great.
00:52:53I mean, really.
00:52:55The best ever.
00:52:58No offense.
00:53:00Frank.
00:53:00The blind guy?
00:53:02Really?
00:53:03I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:53:07I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:53:10It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:53:13It was like, well, you saw your senses.
00:53:16Everything.
00:53:19If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:53:23All right.
00:53:31What about him?
00:53:32Jeremy.
00:53:33Yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:53:36I think I fooled around with him once.
00:53:38I didn't know his last name, though.
00:53:41It's Jones.
00:53:43Jeremy Jones.
00:53:44This all makes sense.
00:53:46Excuse me.
00:53:49Jeremy.
00:53:50Hi.
00:53:51Hey.
00:53:52Who's on the phone?
00:53:54Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:53:56You'll meet her.
00:53:57Could be here in like an hour.
00:53:58Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:54:15Oh, hey, Frank.
00:54:18Sit.
00:54:22Oh, you meant, you meant the dog.
00:54:27Relax.
00:54:30You need to relax and calm down.
00:54:42Oh, I'm relaxed.
00:54:44I'm fine.
00:54:45Why are you biting your nail?
00:54:47I'm not.
00:54:51How did you know that?
00:54:55Corner.
00:55:00Sit.
00:55:02Roll over.
00:55:07Oh, you mean me.
00:55:10Roll over.
00:55:14Oh, you mean me.
00:55:17Oh, how do you...
00:55:18How do you want me to...
00:55:20Just lie down.
00:55:21Wait, I...
00:55:33Oh, I shouldn't even be doing this,
00:55:36but considering it a teachable moment.
00:55:40Okay.
00:55:47See me with your hands.
00:55:53All right.
00:55:55Uh...
00:56:01You know, I should really...
00:56:03I have a boyfriend,
00:56:04and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:56:05Really.
00:56:19Mmm, peanut butter.
00:56:21All right.
00:56:37Frank.
00:56:38Frank.
00:56:39Oh.
00:56:43Frank.
00:57:10It's a great cake.
00:57:10Yo man, look, give me a chair.
00:57:13My chips, old boy.
00:57:15Oh, give me a chair, man.
00:57:16My chips.
00:57:17Oh, my chips.
00:57:19Give me a chair.
00:57:21My chips.
00:57:23Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:57:26Sorry.
00:57:35It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:57:38That's all.
00:57:43Come on, let me do this.
00:57:44Go away.
00:57:45I'm not it.
00:57:46I'm not it.
00:57:47No, really, please.
00:57:48I want to help.
00:57:52Okay, everybody out.
00:57:54Leave.
00:57:55I have to vacuum.
00:58:10You're not even getting the chips.
00:58:12They're over here.
00:58:14I see some dust over here, so.
00:58:20It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:58:24It's a dirty floor.
00:58:27Such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:58:32It's a dirty floor.
00:58:35Oh, no!
00:58:44Oh, no!
00:58:46Oh, no!
00:58:48Oh, no!
00:58:49Oh, no!
00:58:50Okay.
00:58:52Oh, yeah. Oh, all right.
00:58:54Oh, yeah.
00:58:55I think I got all that.
00:58:57I'm just gonna...
00:58:58I'll see how... Oh.
00:59:05We got it.
00:59:07Oh, here's my chest.
00:59:09Frankie!
00:59:11Oh, my...
00:59:12What's that?
00:59:14What?
00:59:15Fucking shit.
00:59:17Man, we gotta smoke.
00:59:21Stop.
00:59:23Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:59:25Oh, shit.
00:59:27I'm sorry, man.
00:59:28We're just looking for a place to finish this road.
00:59:30Oh, I heard something.
00:59:31You wanna join us?
00:59:33Uh...
00:59:34Come on!
00:59:35You gotta do it!
00:59:36Come on!
00:59:37Seriously, guys.
00:59:38Where's your dog, man?
00:59:39Dude!
00:59:39What's it like being blinded?
00:59:41It's creepy.
00:59:45Frank?
00:59:48Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:59:52Bro, you are too funny.
00:59:57Thanks, man.
00:59:58Ooh, this is some good stuff.
01:00:00I haven't smoked since junior high.
01:00:02Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
01:00:05Wait, wait, wait.
01:00:06I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
01:00:11Damn, I really can't remember.
01:00:13This is some good shit.
01:00:14Holy shit.
01:00:34Oh, no.
01:00:35You're the devil.
01:00:37No more.
01:00:41JJ, uh, Jeremy, you have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:00:48Please.
01:00:49Lex, I can't.
01:00:52I mean, I got a girlfriend. I really like this girl.
01:00:56Fine.
01:00:57It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra,
01:01:02and I also have on crotchless panties with just a lift.
01:01:08A string of pearls in front for extra stimulation.
01:01:12Oh.
01:01:17We've got, like, 30 minutes before she gets here.
01:01:20Perfect.
01:01:25Before she gets here.
01:01:26Perfect.
01:01:38Let's do it.
01:01:39Let's do it.
01:01:40Fuck me.
01:01:41Fuck me now.
01:01:47What?
01:01:48What's wrong?
01:01:49I can't...
01:01:50I can't get it in.
01:01:52Just try down there.
01:01:54It's a desert down there.
01:01:55It's sandpaper.
01:01:57I just...
01:01:58Okay, I get the picture.
01:02:00Just try it again.
01:02:04No.
01:02:05Why is this happening?
01:02:07We fooled around before.
01:02:09I was dripping wet.
01:02:10I came, like, four times, remember?
01:02:12Just do what you did then.
01:02:14Go on.
01:02:14I already did my thing.
01:02:16I already tried.
01:02:18What?
01:02:19What?
01:02:19What is different this time?
01:02:21I don't know.
01:02:23Last time...
01:02:27I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
01:02:30What?
01:02:32You're not JJ?
01:02:34But your name is Jeremy Jones.
01:02:36How can you not be JJ?
01:02:39Who the hell is this, JJ?
01:02:43Where are you going?
01:02:44We're not done here.
01:02:45I can still do this.
01:02:47I just need a little bit of work.
01:02:48I can do this.
01:02:49I don't need JJ.
01:02:51I don't need anyone else.
01:02:52We can do this.
01:02:55Go team.
01:03:00What?
01:03:01Just keep going.
01:03:06Jeremy?
01:03:06Oh, shit.
01:03:19Where's Jeremy?
01:03:20Hi.
01:03:22We were just, you know, coming here.
01:03:25Hey, babe.
01:03:26Just working out.
01:03:32How could you, you bastard?
01:03:37You might want to...
01:03:39What?
01:03:41What?
01:03:46Mariela!
01:03:48Mariela!
01:03:49You know, those aren't mine.
01:03:51At least not all of them.
01:03:54What is wrong with you?
01:04:00What is wrong with you?
01:04:03It used to be so pure.
01:04:06Well, no more.
01:04:07That's it.
01:04:08Really, that's the last one.
01:04:13Nothing.
01:04:21No.
01:04:23Nice.
01:04:27Good job.
01:04:29Oh.
01:04:31What?
01:04:31No.
01:04:32Let's go.
01:04:34No.
01:04:34No.
01:04:36No.
01:04:38Oop.
01:04:47What is it? What are you doing down here?
01:04:51Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
01:04:56What?
01:04:57Why? Nothing. Just this blind guy and his dog and...
01:05:03Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:05:06No, it's not okay.
01:05:09Oh, God. And you know whose fault it is?
01:05:12I'm sorry.
01:05:13It's Jake's. Jake's fault. That blind, cheating bastard.
01:05:18Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.
01:05:23Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him. I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
01:05:29Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:05:31You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:05:34Yeah, a big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.
01:05:39Yeah.
01:05:41You know, you might wanna...
01:05:44You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:05:46Yeah, you're right.
01:05:48Why am I wearing a sheet?
01:05:49I know.
01:05:56I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I get shy around beautiful women like you.
01:06:05I got no game.
01:06:13It's not important.
01:06:27Hey, um...
01:06:29Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:06:30No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
01:06:33Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
01:06:35No, no, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna
01:06:42make it up to you.
01:06:43Eric, really? I don't care. It's fine.
01:06:46No, but I do.
01:06:47I mean, I do. I care.
01:06:51I haven't known how to tell you.
01:06:53Maybe because, uh, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:06:57But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime.
01:07:04Soon.
01:07:05Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out.
01:07:08Really? Eric, you're shy. You have no game.
01:07:13No, not really.
01:07:17Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:07:23Okay. Alright.
01:07:26I, uh...
01:07:28Happy birthday, then.
01:07:41Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.
01:07:53Wow.
01:08:06Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:08:13Oh, Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:08:17Oh, God, baby. Not again.
01:08:19Oh, no, um...
01:08:19You're a honey happy...
01:08:23What the fuck is this?
01:08:25Who the hell are you, dude?
01:08:26Okay, guys, don't.
01:08:31Cheryl.
01:08:33Baby.
01:08:34What is this?
01:08:36Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:08:39You're...
01:08:39I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:08:43Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:08:45You couldn't find me?
01:08:47What about all those girls' vaginas you were in or your penis getting sucked?
01:08:53Cheryl, honey.
01:08:54No, no.
01:08:55We can work this out.
01:08:56Baby, I love you.
01:08:58Jake, no. You have to go.
01:08:59Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:09:01I promise.
01:09:02No, Jake. I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:09:06Cheryl, come on.
01:09:07No, Jake, please. Just go. Just go. I'm sorry.
01:09:10You're a harmless bitch!
01:09:12How can you do it?
01:09:14Yay! You did it.
01:09:16I'm so proud of you. You got your revenge sex.
01:09:19You've left him a mere shell of a man.
01:09:21Revenge sex?
01:09:24It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:09:28Right.
01:09:30It all makes sense now.
01:09:33Wow. I feel really stupid.
01:09:36Eric, I'm really... I'm really sorry.
01:09:40Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:09:42And you used me.
01:09:45Eric, please don't go. Please, Eric!
01:09:49Aren't you happy?
01:09:52Well, no. That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:09:56You mean the sex? Was it?
01:09:58Yeah.
01:09:59No, we didn't quite do it.
01:10:01Oh. You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:10:04Really?
01:10:04I just never found the right guy.
01:10:06Or guys.
01:10:09Anyway, we better get downstairs. People are starting to leave.
01:10:12I wonder how Sue did.
01:10:25I can't believe she dumped me, man. This is bullshit!
01:10:29God!
01:10:31Oh!
01:10:33You suck it!
01:10:36God, I'm out of here!
01:10:38Yeah!
01:10:39He has good hair, though.
01:10:45Don't use cues on me.
01:10:48Don't use my car, either.
01:11:03Oh, Sue, are you alright?
01:11:07Was it from sex?
01:11:08Did you pop your cork?
01:11:09I don't think so.
01:11:11Not with the guy, anyway.
01:11:13Oh, don't ask.
01:11:14Every possible object.
01:11:17It's like every mechanical thing.
01:11:19It was like...
01:11:20Transformers.
01:11:21They just all became vibrators.
01:11:24I told you.
01:11:25It's indicting.
01:11:28So, what about Chris?
01:11:30The last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.
01:11:33I told you he was gay.
01:11:35Well, I think I'm just...
01:11:36Oh, cramp.
01:11:39Oh, I think it's broken.
01:11:42So, wait.
01:11:45None of us cashed an RV card.
01:11:51Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:11:55So, let's now go grab some food.
01:11:57Wanna go?
01:11:57No, thank you.
01:11:59I think I should finish up here.
01:12:02Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:12:04No.
01:12:07I don't know.
01:12:07For some reason, I just realized...
01:12:09He needs to be my first.
01:12:12Or something.
01:12:14Why, do you know him?
01:12:16Sort of.
01:12:16Oh.
01:12:18Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:12:20tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:12:21I don't know him.
01:12:29Love him.
01:12:30Shut it.
01:12:30You wanna do it?
01:12:31I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:12:32You wanna get married?
01:12:33You wanna do it?
01:12:34I'll do it.
01:12:34I'll do it.
01:12:34I'll do it.
01:12:35I'll do it.
01:12:39I'll do it.
01:12:41I'll do it.
01:12:41You're taking me out
01:12:43I make a winner
01:12:46You're taking me out
01:12:52You're oh
01:12:54I'm taking me about
01:12:54You're taking me out
01:12:57You're taking me out
01:13:01You're taking me out
01:13:03Um, no.
01:13:05No way.
01:13:23Oh well.
01:13:25There's always next year.
01:13:49It's you.
01:13:51I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:13:57Joanna.
01:14:05Oh well.
01:14:06Otoho.
01:14:08Oh well.
01:14:13Oh well.
01:15:16He really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:15:19Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:15:25Who's?
01:15:26Eric's.
01:15:28Well, it's him, right?
01:15:31Oh.
01:15:33Yeah.
01:15:35I have to go see him.
01:15:42Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:15:541-900-confess.
01:15:59Sister Terese?
01:16:01Yeah, hon.
01:16:02There was a problem with your credit card.
01:16:05I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:16:07Oh, sure.
01:16:10It's 271.
01:16:12Sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:16:18Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:16:22Like, take you back?
01:16:24Sure, hon.
01:16:25Why not?
01:16:27As long as you're on the right path.
01:16:30Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:16:32Sister, I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:16:37Something to let me know that it's all going to be okay.
01:16:43Sister, can I get up now?
01:16:45I really got to pee.
01:16:47No!
01:16:47Hush your trap!
01:16:51Okay, honey.
01:16:52I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:16:55I will.
01:16:57Thanks.
01:17:01Sister?
01:17:02Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:17:22Eric, wait.
01:17:27Cheryl?
01:17:31Eric, um...
01:17:32Look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:17:36I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:17:38At the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:17:42I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:17:45The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:17:49Um...
01:17:50I...
01:17:51I do want to go out with you.
01:17:54And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:17:58I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these...
01:18:02Eric!
01:18:04Come on, I gotta get going.
01:18:07Oh.
01:18:08Wow.
01:18:08Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:18:12Tina, Cheryl.
01:18:14Hi.
01:18:15Nice to meet you.
01:18:20Um, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days when I get back?
01:18:26Yeah, sure.
01:18:33Oh.
01:18:35Sorry.
01:18:36No kissing, right?
01:18:37No, kissing.
01:18:38Oh.
01:18:39Mm.
01:18:41Mm.
01:18:42Mm.
01:18:46Mm.
01:18:47Mm.
01:18:47Mm.
01:18:48Mm.
01:18:48Mm.
01:18:56Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:19:02I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:19:06Wait, what?
01:19:06I never did that.
01:19:09I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:19:11She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:19:13Mm.
01:19:14Mm.
01:19:16Mm.
01:19:18Mm.
01:19:18She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:19:21I wonder who it was.
01:19:44At least this birthday's over.
01:19:58Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:20:02I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like, send me a sign.
01:20:07I need a sign.
01:20:17I don't know.
01:20:40Excuse me. Excuse me. Do you know where the church is? It's on Bouncing Street.
01:20:46Um, yeah, that's the church I go to. Or used to go to. Um, it's straight up that way and
01:20:53then left.
01:20:55Thank you. You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:21:00Oh, um, I don't know.
01:21:10Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:21:14Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque. Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:21:23I don't think so. But thanks.
01:21:26What's your name?
01:21:27Sue. What's yours?
01:21:30Jesus.
01:21:32Really?
01:21:33Si.
01:21:37Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:38Oh, my God.
01:21:55Oh, my God.
01:22:45Oh, my God.
01:22:48Oh, my God.
01:23:18Oh, my God.
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