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00:05Previously on the Madison
00:10He wanted to be buried here
00:11There's a spot marked on a map
00:13I know this spot
00:15I can't remember his face
00:17If I were you, I wouldn't listen
00:20Play it
00:22Jesus, fuck
00:23Hold on, right
00:26Hey, baby
00:27Oh my God
00:30I'm going to die
00:33As much as I like sitting here
00:34It hurts more than you'll ever know
00:36So if you're wondering how I feel about you
00:38I feel enough to sit here and take it
00:40Abby, if I were you
00:42I would set my hooks pretty deep
00:44In that one
00:45They're not making any more men like him
00:52I wonder if you know
00:54How happiness would make him
00:56It would fill his heart
00:59Tomorrow
01:00We bury them
01:29You don't know what to do
02:00Transcription by CastingWords
02:13CastingWords
02:32That's an elk track right there
02:33Oh, oh
02:36Look, there's another one
02:37No, that's a moose
02:41How can you tell the difference?
02:43If you spend enough time tracking
02:45You just know
02:46Oh
02:50so do you have any questions about today like what no asking you well you're gonna bury them
03:01we are then what happens uh then they return to the land
03:11and their bodies become a part of it um and their souls too i guess they don't go to heaven
03:22i think this is their heaven
03:26heaven is oh how do i explain this our teacher says there is no heaven you know i don't know
03:33if you've already figured this out but do not believe everything your teacher says
03:37heaven is your perfect place for some it's ice cream oceans and marshmallow mountains and
03:49others it's these mountains does that make sense and grandpa's heaven is here
04:00i think so but if you think he's here why is everyone so sad he's gone
04:06well his heaven isn't mine and
04:12well i can't see him and i can't talk to him and can't hug him and he can't hug me
04:18and
04:19i miss that yeah i miss it too but that's why we have memories we can revisit all those times
04:30that we did have
04:32all the talks all the laughs all the hugs and you know it's like a movie we can
04:40we can play it over and over as many times as we want
04:46you know in our minds you know what i mean i do
04:52not the same though as a real hug no it's not the same
05:19right here huh
05:21she marked it on a map all right well we ain't getting a backhoe down here
05:26might be able to get a tractor up from the river but
05:31i'm not sure what good that'll do us
05:32no these holes are getting dug the old irish way
05:35yep
05:38how the hell are we gonna get the caskets here
05:41swents still feed off a wagon don't they
05:43that's a good idea
05:46you gonna call or run for shovels
05:47nah you call i'll run my gelding's just gonna follow you
05:53yank off that bridle
05:55yeah
06:15i am aware
06:18yes i am aware we have had a death in the family
06:22i'm pretty sure the world of girls volleyball will survive the week without her
06:27yes you are correct i am not factoring how this affects anyone else even a little
06:33fucking school
06:35is this gonna be okay
06:38it's gonna have to do honey it's all you got
06:41hey
06:45it's just us
06:46okay there's nobody to be offended
06:49what did school say
06:50you're missing a volleyball tournament
06:53it's okay
06:55it's okay
07:00it's okay
07:02it's okay
07:03it's okay
07:19hey
07:28where'd you find cream
07:29same shopping center where i found the dress
07:33i gotta say boseman impressed me
07:35i wasn't expecting to find donna carin in the mountains
07:39found a little something for you too
07:41yeah
07:42preston would prefer me in jeans
07:44i think he would find a certain victory
07:48in that
07:48he deserves a little black dress
07:50and that's exactly what i got you
07:52did the boys say when they would be ready
07:54they said to walk over at noon
07:56how are they gonna get them out there
07:58i didn't ask
07:59and they didn't say
08:00i just said it was handled
08:04about two hours
08:07preston wrote a chapter on
08:09telling time
08:11from the sun's position
08:13it's
08:14alarmingly accurate
08:17the girls asked me to arrange a plane
08:22when?
08:24tonight
08:24oh
08:26okay
08:27they need closure honey
08:29they won't get it here
08:31they have lives
08:32and they need to go live them
08:34i would very much
08:35like to plan a memorial service
08:37he has a lot of friends
08:38that deserve a way to say goodbye
08:40does he?
08:41he does
08:42and you know that
08:44we could do it at the explorers club
08:46okay
08:46just
08:48have at the apartment
08:50have corbon
08:52cater
08:53he loved that place
08:55i already called
08:56you find back too
09:02i have a very worried husband
09:04he's convinced
09:05some distant cousin
09:06of the unabomber
09:07is going to abduct me
09:08and hold me in his basement
09:09from ransom
09:11depending on the cousin
09:12i'm not completely opposed
09:13of course that's my
09:15warped romance novel
09:16version of abduction
09:17i doubt that's how
09:18it would play out
09:19lily
09:19that is how it would play out
09:20in my mind
09:21after two percocets
09:23you think i'm joking
09:24no
09:31i love you
09:37there is nowhere i would rather be than with you when you need me
09:40i know
09:46i have a little bottle of kalua
09:47if you would like some lead in that coffee
09:49oh
09:49well now you're talking
10:15not bad
10:17okay
11:48Okay, girls?
12:06Where are they?
12:08Uh, Carmen.
12:12Sorry.
12:15Sorry.
12:18Sorry for the song.
12:19That's fine.
12:27I'm sorry, Erin.
12:28You'll never know.
13:11Okay, boy.
13:27Watch your hand.
13:49Come on.
14:21Mrs. Glabber, I'm very sorry for your loss.
14:27Is a preacher coming?
14:32I forgot.
14:33I forgot.
14:34Uh, this one will be San's preacher.
14:38What's that mean?
14:39It means we don't have one.
14:42Do you have someone to govern the proceedings?
14:46We, um...
14:49This is my first funeral here, so we're sort of winging it.
14:54Well, this is far from my first rodeo.
14:58Do you mind if I say something first and then give you all a chance to speak?
15:03I don't think my group has many speeches in them.
15:08Do you mind a prayer?
15:11I do not.
15:22Lord, we stand before you with heavy hearts.
15:25With the glory of love comes the pain of loss, and we look to you for comfort.
15:30Lord, remind us that it is a selfish pain because you have promised a place called heaven where our departed
15:39bask in the glow of your grace.
15:41They are no longer men, they are angels who guide us through darkness, lift us when we are weak, and
15:51nourish our souls and spirits.
15:54Our pain is a selfish pain because we do not know this place, heaven.
15:59We lean on our faith that it exists, and on your mercy that it holds a place for us where
16:08we may sit in your light beside our loved ones and know only joy forever.
16:17Amen.
16:20If anyone would like a word.
16:23Stacy, it's not the first time you've given that speech.
16:28No, ma'am.
16:30It's a good one.
16:33You care to say something?
16:37I have plenty to say, but I won't be saying it today.
16:50I guess that's it, then.
16:53Um.
16:56So, what happens now?
16:58We'll take care of everything.
17:04Wait, that's it?
17:05That's it?
17:06That's it?
17:07He has nothing to say it and say it, Paige.
17:08I don't know what to say.
17:11What are you supposed to say?
17:12I think that's our point.
17:18Which one's Paul?
17:29God damn you for taking it from us.
17:45I love you.
18:01Everyone deals with it different, don't they, boys?
18:05I don't think they're dealing with it at all.
18:08Not yet, anyway.
18:11Who can blame them?
18:12I don't know.
18:44But should we have to go to all the guys' stuff today?
18:45You should have to deal with them.
18:46You're listening to everything that looks like something like瓶.
19:11Pretty sneaky, trying to have a funeral and not tell anybody?
19:15Oh, I didn't know anyone would care.
19:20We let you have the funeral.
19:22We will not be denied our feast.
19:27When they decided to build these cabins, they wanted to do it all themselves.
19:31Mill the wood, frame it, roughing the electric, the whole deal.
19:36Look at the bottom up there.
19:37They're sitting on railroad ties.
19:39And I could not figure out what in the hell purpose that would serve.
19:42And I told them they're going to be colder than the devil in winter.
19:45And every skunk and raccoon and God knows what else is going to set up shop underneath them.
19:50Well, Preston just looked at me and nodded.
19:52Didn't say a word.
19:54About six months later, tax assessor comes by my place and says,
19:58Have you seen these cabins they built next door?
20:00I said, I had.
20:01And he asked me if I'd ever seen them move.
20:04Move.
20:04I said, move.
20:05What do you mean move?
20:07Tax assessor says, when he tried to put a value on them, your husband said they was mobile homes.
20:14You pick them up with a forklift and move them.
20:17And asked me if I'd ever seen them be mobile.
20:19Well, I told them, yeah, they haul them all over the place.
20:23And if you look at the back of that outhouse, your husband nailed tires from a shopping cart and said
20:29that son of a bitch was mobile too.
20:32He did not want to pay any taxes.
20:34I wondered what those were for.
20:36Preston always had issues with authority.
20:39Wheels on the outhouse.
20:40Never seen anything like it.
20:42No.
20:45Indian tacos.
20:46Good stuff.
20:48Want some?
20:50How about some of those cookies?
20:51Oh, good choice.
20:54I was thinking like three.
20:58What's your mom going to say about that?
21:00My mom's not going to say anything because she's not going to see me eat him.
21:03Let's keep this between us.
21:06I think that's a good idea.
21:20Thank you for today.
21:22Means more than you know.
21:24Someone had to do it for me.
21:25I know what it means.
21:28I'm sorry it had to be done.
21:32We're flying out tonight.
21:33The girls have missed enough school and I have exhausted my wardrobe.
21:37But...
21:41I'd like to come back.
21:44Or dare I invite you to New York?
21:48Well, the only way you'd get me to New York is if it seceded from the Union and I was
21:52drafted into the Army to take it back.
21:54Okay.
21:54You gotta go a little easier on my city, buddy.
21:57I'm not knocking it.
21:58I'm just not going there.
22:00Fair enough.
22:02Then I'll come visit.
22:05Sure.
22:06I mean it.
22:10Okay.
22:13I'm a sheriff's deputy who makes $52,000 a year.
22:23I have $12,000 in the bank and I'm about to spend six of it on a pretty average rope
22:28horse.
22:29Three nights a week, I'm going to load him in a trailer and drag him all over Montana trying to
22:33win back what I spent on him.
22:34In October, I'm going to take my boys in the mountains for a month and fill our freezer with elk.
22:39I ain't never land on no beach.
22:40I'm never going to Europe or San Francisco or any city bigger than Billings. Ever.
22:48What part of that sounds good to you?
22:50None of it.
22:51Now, walk me through your life. What won't you change?
22:54I don't have those kind of absolutes.
22:55Just walk me through it.
23:00Macy has gymnastics every morning.
23:03From there I go to Pilates.
23:06From Pilates I go to my therapist.
23:07From my therapist.
23:08I go to coffee with my girlfriends to talk about all the bullshit advice my therapist gave me.
23:12Then I pick up Macy and I get Bridget and we go to ballet.
23:15We have recitals every Friday night.
23:17Saturday morning we have competitions.
23:19I take the girls the same parts for Christmas.
23:21Italy for the month of July, which you would love.
23:24I will point out.
23:30Who feeds the horses?
23:33Isn't there a service for that?
23:35You have to do it every day?
23:38Okay.
23:39Okay, there is no future in this, but you are tall and kind and fucking beautiful.
23:46You are tall and kind and beautiful.
23:48Okay, so can we just agree to fuck this up together and have as much sex as possible until, until
23:54we can.
23:55Yeah, you city girls do spell it out, don't you?
23:57Yeah, we, we, we get to the point.
23:59Yep, we do.
24:00You go from wondering when we're gonna see each other to wondering when you're gonna leave.
24:06I think I'd rather just miss you.
24:10I'm not gone yet.
24:11You know what I mean.
24:13So is this goodbye?
24:17I think it's best.
24:18Oh, wow.
24:22Let me just clarify.
24:25That you are breaking up with me at my father's funeral.
24:28No, we aren't together to break up.
24:29No, no, no, we seemed pretty together yesterday when you were lying on top of me.
24:32Abby, I-
24:33Don't fucking abby me now.
24:35You wanna miss me?
24:36Is that what you want?
24:38Here's your fucking chance.
25:09It's time to go home, isn't it?
25:13It's been time, honey.
25:14Yeah, she won't be.
25:15No.
25:17Not the thing.
25:19No.
25:20No.
25:20No.
25:20No.
25:20No.
25:20No.
25:20No.
25:21No.
25:49When did your father die?
25:51Russell?
25:54It'll be six years in April.
25:57Where is he buried?
25:58My mother had him cremated.
26:00The plan was to spread his ashes at our place in Montauk, but...
26:05He never did it. I don't know why.
26:09So, he's sitting in a jar on our mantle, which is an odd custom.
26:15Putting ashes in a jar above a fireplace full of ashes.
26:20What do you miss most about him?
26:27He used to call me every Monday and tell me a joke.
26:31Really?
26:34You still remember them?
26:35Oh, yeah.
26:36Tell me one.
26:38Oh, no, no, no.
26:39Yeah, they, um...
26:40My father had a rather warped sense of humor.
26:44Yeah, well, at this point I'm pretty hard to offend.
26:49Hmm.
26:52Okay.
26:54Um...
26:56Okay.
26:57So, there are four nuns driving in a van.
27:00And the van goes off a cliff and they all die.
27:03Funny.
27:04No, no, no.
27:05That's...
27:05I'm getting...
27:06Sorry, this is all just the setup.
27:07Yeah, I got it.
27:08Yeah.
27:08Okay.
27:09So, they're standing at the pearly gates.
27:11And St. Peter looks them over.
27:13And he says to the first nun,
27:14This is your last chance to confess before you enter the gates of heaven.
27:19And your conscience must be cleansed before you enter.
27:22So, the first nun thinks about it and she says,
27:24Well, I used to sneak peeks at Father Riley in the shower.
27:29St. Peter says,
27:30Well, you're a naughty one's sister.
27:32Wash your eyes in this bowl of holy water and say five Hail Mary.
27:35She does.
27:37Sends her off to heaven.
27:38So, he looks at the second nun, asks her the same thing.
27:40And she says,
27:41Well, on occasion, I would stroke Father Riley's member with my hand.
27:47St. Peter just shakes his head.
27:49Tells her to wash her hand in the bowl of holy water.
27:51Say ten Hail Marys.
27:53So, she does.
27:54Lets her into heaven.
27:55Now, the third nun steps up.
27:57The fourth nun grabs her, throws her to the ground,
28:00and steps up to the bowl of holy water.
28:02St. Peter says,
28:03What on earth are you doing, sister?
28:05And the nun says,
28:06I'm gonna wash my mouth out in this bowl before that bitch puts her ass in it.
28:14I stand corrected, Russell.
28:16I can still be offended.
28:19I was very poorly chosen.
28:20I'm sorry.
28:20It was the first one that came to my mind.
28:22I am so sorry.
28:24I...
28:24It's terrible.
28:26Common denominator where their problem seems to be Father Riley.
28:30Yeah.
28:30He, uh, did get around.
28:32Ah.
28:33What's in it?
28:34Vodka soda.
28:35Easy on the soda.
28:37God bless you.
28:39The meeting's stuffing at the gym at nine.
28:41If you're up for it.
28:43Oh, yeah.
28:44Exercise.
28:44It's exactly what I need.
28:49I see things didn't end well with a cowboy.
28:54How's that look about it?
28:58Paige has been quiet.
28:59I think this is going to be hardest on her.
29:03I'm afraid.
29:05How so?
29:06When you've dedicated your entire life to gaining the attention of one person.
29:12What is your purpose when that person is gone?
29:16The girls are handling it well, at least.
29:18Yeah, well, they're too young to know the difference.
29:21Just one less present at Christmas.
29:27I know an excellent therapist, Stacy.
29:31You're my therapist.
29:34You're my best friend.
29:36I'm incapable of being impartial.
29:38Speaking to someone who can look at the situation with clarity and with zero opinion.
29:43What I need is opinion.
29:46If I want to know what the book on death says, I'll buy the fucking book.
30:42I'll buy the fucking book.
30:42I found him prison in order with...
30:56I think that the tension is exactly where we are.
31:24I think that the tension is very important.
31:29I think that the tension is very important.
31:46We're doing a charcuterie board from Ely.
31:49And the pizzas from Joe's?
31:51One of us is thinking about your cholesterol.
31:54Pizzas are for Paul.
31:55It's the one thing he misses about this city.
32:00Look at you.
32:02Look at me what?
32:03Men are such children.
32:05Well, this should be interesting.
32:07You are.
32:08You have the same look on your face.
32:10Pulling out those nasty boots as an 11-year-old pulling out his baseball cleats.
32:14It's the same look you get when Gucci has a sale.
32:17That's different.
32:18That's me saving you money.
32:19You know, this is proof of the genetic distinction between men and women.
32:24Tell me, oh love of my life, all the ways how when you buy something on sale, it saves me
32:31money.
32:32I'm gonna buy the damn thing no matter what.
32:33Waiting for the sale is how much I love you.
32:37That almost makes sense.
32:39It makes perfect sense once you accept the inevitability of the purchase.
32:48Why do you do that?
32:50What?
32:51It's your little mountain mistress, the jealous type.
32:57You wanna know?
32:58I do wanna know.
33:00I really wanna know.
33:02Because I lost it once.
33:04Fell off in the river.
33:05I spent two days looking for it.
33:07I'm not going through that shit again.
33:08So if I put it right there, I can't lose it.
33:13Panicked, were you?
33:16Terrified.
33:17It's nice to see I still have that effect.
33:19Oh boy.
33:21Do you ever, baby.
33:22Okay.
33:34Okay.
33:45Okay.
33:48Oh, Madison Avenue.
33:48Oh.
33:49Oh.
33:49Oh.
33:49Oh.
33:52Oh.
34:06Oh.
34:14Madison Avenue.
34:17How did they get the name, do you think?
34:22I always assumed James Madison.
34:24Oh.
34:24The president.
34:25Yeah.
34:26Of course, that would make sense.
34:27Yeah.
34:30I suppose they named the Madison River after him as well.
34:34Where's the Madison River?
34:36Montana.
34:39Where your husband spent time?
34:42Mm-hmm.
34:46Is that where he died?
34:48No.
34:49He died on another river.
34:50Actually, no.
34:52He died on a mountain.
34:55No.
34:55No river involved at all.
35:03How do you feel when you tell me that?
35:06How do you think I feel?
35:08I don't presume to know.
35:09That's why I asked.
35:11Isn't that your job?
35:14Like, tell me how I feel.
35:17My job is to help you understand how you feel.
35:20Mm.
35:21More so, my job is to help you understand the behaviors that those feelings elicit.
35:33And how would you describe my present behavior?
35:39Hostile.
35:42Hostile?
35:43Mistrusting.
35:45Which I understand.
35:48You don't know me.
35:51And yet here you are, in theory, willing to expose your most personal thoughts and intimate feelings.
36:01Trust me in my interpretation of those feelings and behaviors to guide your decision-making in the future.
36:12My decision-making?
36:13What decisions are we questioning?
36:15I'm not questioning anything.
36:16No, you are the one who said it.
36:18My husband died.
36:19The love of my life.
36:22The father of my children.
36:24My center, my soul, is gone.
36:29If you, by chance, have happened upon any information that might assist me in mitigating the desire to claw my
36:38eyes out with a fucking spoon to get rid of the pain, I sure would appreciate that.
36:46But I do not need you staring at me like I'm some bored housewife trying to justify her affair with
36:52her fucking tennis coach.
36:54I know those women.
36:55Plenty of them.
36:56I am not one of them.
37:01I am hurting.
37:03I am hurting.
37:03And I would like some help with that.
37:07If you can.
37:09If you can't.
37:12Then I'll leave early.
37:15And you can keep the fucking change.
37:25You care for a drink?
37:29I would love one.
37:38Don't normally do this.
37:40Spend most of my time convincing my clients not to self-medicate.
37:47Don't mind whiskey?
37:48I don't give a shit what it is.
38:11What you need is this.
38:13A lot of this.
38:15Not this.
38:17A lot of talking.
38:19And yelling and crying.
38:21A lot of it.
38:22And often.
38:25And in time.
38:28Those memories will become fond again.
38:31They won't hurt to recall them.
38:35And you'll.
38:38Laugh.
38:41Will you love again?
38:43Maybe.
38:45I don't have any idea if that's something you want.
38:50Will you ever be whole again?
38:52Will you feel.
38:53Like you did before you died?
38:58No.
39:00But you know that.
39:03But you will heal.
39:05If you let yourself.
39:07You will have as much life.
39:09To live.
39:10As you allow yourself.
39:15Or you'll have none.
39:20You'll have no life.
39:25Does that make sense?
39:30Yeah.
39:32Okay.
39:38Why don't you finish your drink.
39:40And let me have it.
39:41Seriously.
39:43Come on.
39:43Give it your best shot.
39:50You're a terrible therapist.
39:52You know that.
39:53With that smug fucking sweater.
39:58You really like saying fuck, don't you?
40:00I know.
40:02I find it quite.
40:05Liberating at the moment.
40:08Good.
40:09Say it again.
40:11Fuck you.
40:12Are we gonna do trust falls next?
40:14You fucking quack.
40:17It's a really good place to start.
40:19Come on.
40:19Keep it coming.
40:20Let's go.
40:21I'm serious.
40:27I'm thinking about it.
40:29I'm considering it.
40:32I know.
40:33I know.
40:33I know.
40:33I know.
40:34I'm running away.
40:35Running away from my problems.
40:37This problem goes with me.
40:38So I'm not running from anything.
40:43Would I miss my daughters?
40:46Honestly, I don't.
40:48I don't know.
40:49And part of me thinks it would be better for them.
40:52Live their own lives.
40:54Maybe they could move with you.
40:57I mean, it doesn't sound like either of them are bound to the city.
40:59That's what I said.
41:01My oldest daughter needs it.
41:03I actually threatened to cut her off if she didn't.
41:08That's not very nice.
41:10Oh, what do they teach?
41:13Sarcasm in therapy school these days?
41:16Well, if by therapy school you mean Dartmouth, then yeah.
41:19They kind of invented it there.
41:26You think I should?
41:30Not my place to say.
41:33But...
41:35I think you should consider it.
41:37And I'll tell you why.
41:39Because you are actively weighing your future.
41:42And the consequences are your choices in that future.
41:44And that's healthy.
41:45That's good for your soul.
41:46So whether you actually do it is irrelevant.
41:49But you should seriously consider it.
41:52You should consider moving to Europe.
41:56Spend a year traveling.
41:57You got the financial means.
41:59No responsibilities here preventing it.
42:01You should consider everything.
42:06Wish I could have met him.
42:08Must have been a hell of a man.
42:10Because you are a hell of a woman.
42:12You know who you are and you're not ashamed of it.
42:14And this, yelling and crying and pondering,
42:18this is what you're supposed to be doing.
42:20This is grieving.
42:22This is accepting an immeasurable loss in your life
42:25and racking your brain to try to find a way to survive it.
42:30And you will.
42:34Thank you, Phil.
42:38Oh, this has been...
42:41pleasantly cathartic.
42:43I took one look at that sweater and I had very little faith in you.
42:46But you...
42:48you overcame it.
42:50Turns out, you don't suck at your job.
42:53Well, that...
42:55is wildly offensive.
42:59Same time tomorrow.
43:00I'm thinking afternoon.
43:02I still got five clients and I'm pretty drunk.
43:05I think you are a client to end the day with, not begin one.
43:08Fine.
43:09See you at happy hour.
43:20Let's get there.
43:23Okay.
43:27Across the northern plains and into the upper midwest, a colder air mass is settling in.
43:33It's gathered no travel for the low-addy temperatures.
43:40Who's your realtor?
43:42Yeah, no matter what I do, I can't stay here.
43:45Lily, I can smell him.
43:48Hold on, hold on.
43:52Is everything okay?
43:53So, um, Paige is in bed, and she won't talk, and she can't stop crying, and she's...
44:01Well, she's hyperventilating, and I feel like I should call an ambulance, but I don't...
44:04Like, I feel like that might make her worse.
44:06You're right, you're right. It would. I'll be there in 15 minutes. Call Abby.
44:10Okay, okay, calling her now.
44:39Is she in the bedroom?
44:40Yeah.
44:46Uh, do you have any sweets?
44:48Sweets?
44:49Okay, get some ice cream, Rocky Road, and buy some chocolate chips.
44:54Put three scoops in a glass of milk, put the chocolate chips on top, and then just bring it to
44:59me with a spoon.
44:59That sounds, uh, disgusting.
45:01I wasn't asking your opinion of it, Russell.
45:09I got Rocky Road.
45:11Desperate times call for desperate measures.
45:13Grab chocolate chips.
45:14The shitty ones, like she likes.
45:16Well, looks like all we need from you is a cup, Russell.
45:19Give it to her. She knows how to make it.
45:21Got it. Okay.
45:24Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay,
45:30it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, you know what this is?
45:32This is how much you love them, and your body just doesn't know where to put all that love now,
45:37okay?
45:37But you don't have to put it anywhere, and you don't have to stop loving someone when they're gardening.
45:42In fact, one could argue that you should love them more, and here's a sad fact of life.
45:51You will feel this way again.
45:53Yeah, when I die, when your husband dies, and your friends, and someday your children will feel this way about
46:01you.
46:03Thanks, Mom, I feel so much better.
46:06I come bearing gifts.
46:08I'm not hungry.
46:09It's not food.
46:11It is a drug.
46:12It is sugar and chocolate in a mixture that only your metabolism can process in a way that doesn't end
46:17up on your hips.
46:18Yes, and I hate you for it.
46:23I used to eat this when I was, like, five.
46:25No, you still act five, so...
46:31Fuck you and your bad roots.
46:33No, she's back.
46:34I don't understand it.
46:37It's the crunch with the cold and the mushy of the ice cream.
46:42Wait.
46:43The explanation doesn't sell it, Paige.
46:46No.
46:47You got her.
46:49I got her, but I cannot stay the night.
46:51I can stay the night.
47:02It was my favorite thing ever.
47:04I know.
47:17Is she okay?
47:20Yeah.
47:21She will be.
47:24Is there a decent bar near here?
47:27Um, there's a...
47:29There's a dive bar around the corner.
47:32Well, Soho's version of a dive bar.
47:37Hmm.
47:51What's this place called?
47:54Um, I don't know.
47:55I'm not sure it has a name.
48:10What's the name of this place?
48:12Name?
48:13Uh, people just call it the bar.
48:16Or the bar down the street.
48:17Something like that.
48:18No name?
48:18Not that I'm aware of, no?
48:20What does your paycheck say?
48:22Uh, XT Enterprises LLC or some shit.
48:28Okay.
48:29So, the bar just doesn't have a name.
48:33No name.
48:33What can I get you?
48:34Oh, God.
48:35I'm, uh...
48:37I am not in the mood to make any decisions.
48:39Mm.
48:40Martini?
48:41Oh, that is a cocktail,
48:42and this is the furthest place from a cocktail bar, so...
48:45True that.
48:46Um, how about an Irish car bomb?
48:48I have no idea what that is.
48:51Trust me.
48:51Okay.
48:52What about you?
48:53What kind of amber ales do you...
48:55That'll be two Irish car bombs.
48:57Yeah, like your style.
48:58Two Irish car bombs.
48:59I have to work in the morning.
49:00It's one drink.
49:01Russell.
49:07Oh, I didn't see that coming.
49:09Oh, gosh.
49:10Apologies, Russell.
49:13This is gonna hurt.
49:17I...
49:19Great.
49:21You gotta...
49:23Mm-hmm.
49:23Yeah.
49:24Yeah.
49:32It went down the wrong pipe.
49:36I have a bad gag reflex.
49:38No, no.
49:39I'm not...
49:40I'm not laughing at that.
49:42What then?
49:44Oh, life.
49:47And the choices people make.
49:49Don't get me wrong.
49:51She made a good one with you.
49:55What are your dreams?
49:59Dreams?
50:00Dreams.
50:00Or...
50:01I don't know.
50:02Aspirations...
50:03Might be a better word.
50:05For your life.
50:06For my daughter.
50:08I mean, what...
50:09You know, we just got the townhouse, so...
50:12Yeah, well, that's a purchase.
50:13Not a dream.
50:16Have you two...
50:18Talked about starting a family?
50:21You know, Paige.
50:23She just got down to a size zero, and she worked really hard for it, so...
50:26Russell, Russell.
50:27Independent thoughts.
50:28Do you have any?
50:31Yeah.
50:32I mean, I guess I want...
50:32I want to have kids.
50:34Mm-hmm.
50:35Okay.
50:35I don't want to raise them, and I want to...
50:38I want to move out of town, you know, where they can have a normal...
50:41You know, trick-or-treat, and...
50:43And play baseball, and run out on the street, you know?
50:47No, I don't know.
50:48No, I don't know.
50:49I raised mine here.
50:52Well, that would be my dream.
50:55What about when they're grown?
50:58What's the dream, then?
51:00I don't know.
51:01I don't know.
51:02I haven't gotten that far.
51:03Well, then you need a new dream.
51:08Honestly, I always thought of you and Creston as the dream.
51:15So did I, Russell.
51:20But that dream is over.
51:24Well, I guess we both need a new one.
51:29Yeah.
51:31Yeah.
51:50Well, I guess we both need a new one.
51:51Well, I guess we both need a new one.
51:51Well, I guess we both need a new one.
51:51Well, I guess we both need a new one.
51:51Well, I guess we both need a new one.
51:51Well, I guess we both need a new one.
51:51Well, I guess we both need a new one.
51:52Well, I guess we both need a new one.
51:55Well, I guess we both need a new one.
52:14To be continued...
52:38To be continued...
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