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00:01This is an exaggeration barbaric, that is, you can achieve the same result with 5 mortis and an electric cable.
00:07Poor mortis.
00:08What drum is going on?
00:09You should have to go down, with the risk of being able to do it.
00:14That's not what I would do, but I'm just saying that it's a bad construction.
00:18Hora of coffee.
00:20There we go.
00:20There we go.
00:24Hello Jerry.
00:25Let me in peace, I'm working.
00:27Oh, yes?
00:27Eh, eh, eh, eh...
00:29¿Qué trabajos?
00:30Estoy...
00:30Trabajando en publicidad.
00:32¿Publicidad?
00:33Vaya, asà que la gente necesita ayuda para saber qué comprar y tú los ayudas.
00:38Jaja, bueno, es más complicado que eso.
00:40Quiero decir tú lo haces y pareces un tipo que tiene todo resuelto.
00:47Oye, estás siendo un imbécil, ¿no es as�
00:50Oh, no, espero que no, eh, eh, no querÃa ofenderte de ninguna manera...
00:54¿De verdad eres un Rick?
00:55Oh, ja, ja, por supuesto que lo soy.
00:57Tanto como si mi Morty es un Morty
01:00Oye, se parece a Eric Stoltz en la pelÃcula de la máscara
01:04Sabes, en la que sale Cher
01:05Asà es Jerry, viene de una realidad en la que todo el mundo es Eric Stoltz
01:09Sin máscara es Morty Eric Stoltz máscara
01:12Me lo asignaron porque nunca tuve hijos propios
01:14Pero si los tuviera, vaya que los amarÃa como si fueran tan inteligentes y exitosos como tú
01:20Jerry, mira esto, Jerry está con un Rick tonto
01:23Esto es perfecto, no soy Rick tonto
01:25Soy Rijota 19Z7
01:27O es la lÃnea del tipo en la que todos comen heces
01:30Jerry, ¿sabÃas que este tipo come heces?
01:32Oye, no como heces
01:37¿Por qué son todos tan malos conmigo?
01:41Me parece necesario decÃrtelo ahora Jerry, soy el peor Rick que hay
01:46¿Según quién es?
01:47¿Las otras versiones de ti?
01:48Si he aprendido algo hasta ahora, es que para poder hacer lo que quieres, debes dejar de escucharte a ti
01:53mismo
01:53Vaya, si que eres sabio Jerry, supongo que por eso es que trabajas en mercadeo
01:58El hecho de que pienses asÃ, es lo que hace que seas el mejor Rick de todos
02:02No te importa en lo absoluto, para ti soy lo mismo que esa chaqueta que tienes puesta
02:06Oh, tu estúpida pistola de portales, soy una herramienta, solo un objeto
02:10Oye, es tu decisión tomarlo personalmente Morty, ahora por amor a Dios baja la voz
02:14La idea de esto es aprovechar el elemento sorpresa
02:17¿Sabes qué Rick? Para que sepas, soy más que un escudo humano
02:19Asà es, eres más que eso, eres un traje impenetrable de armadura humana Morty
02:23¿Por qué eres tan tonto como yo inteligente?
02:25Por eso cuando digo que te calles, lo hago por sÃ
02:31Genial, bien hecho Morty
02:45Oh, muy impresionante ese 137, si que eres muy rudo
02:49¿La palmada lenta? ¿En serio? Algo trillado, ¿no crees?
02:53En esta dimensión no es trillado, de hecho
02:55Es algo único que yo inventé y nadie más lo ha hecho aquà jamás
02:58Pues que impresionante
03:00¡Eso es mÃo!
03:05Tengo un mal presentimiento sobre ese Rick Morty, debemos salir de aquÃ
03:08¡No voy a ayudarte Rick!
03:11Ya que le rompen los brazos ahÃ, que se los... se los mocha
03:14¡Eres un monstruo!
03:15No seas ridÃculo Morty
03:17¡No puedes dejar de decir eso, es tonto!
03:19¡Llévate a su Morty!
03:20Ven conmigo
03:21¡SÃ, con gusto!
03:23Vaya hermano, Rex
03:24Oye, pareces conocer este lugar
03:27¿Hay alguna forma de apagar todo esto y rescatar a los Mortys que están afuera?
03:31Eso serÃa inútil
03:32Los Mortys, nunca podrÃamos derrotar a un Rick
03:35¡Entra aquÃ!
03:38¿A todos los universos los agarró?
03:46¿No te parece hermoso?
03:47SÃ, sÃ, parece que llegó la Navidad al rancho de Nunca Jamás
03:50¡SÃ!
03:52Él lo entendió
03:53¡Ah, Rick!
03:54¡Silencio!
03:55Te estás perdiendo mi sinfonÃa
03:59Disfruta
03:59Los prefiero antes que Amón fueran son
04:01SÃ
04:03Este sujeto me apoya
04:04No se está riendo por tus chistes, Rick
04:06Ese es solo un ruido que hace cada 10 segundos
04:10Oh, verás, Rick
04:11No eres tan inteligente como crees que eres
04:14QuerÃa que me encontraras
04:16No somos tan...
04:17Diferentes tú y yo
04:18¿Cómo no?
04:19¿Ves esto de aquÃ, Rick?
04:21Hice los cálculos y creé un espectro con todos los Ricks
04:24Los ordené desde los más malvados hasta el menos malvado
04:27Aquà es donde estoy yo
04:28Y justo aquà es donde estás tú, Rick
04:30Y este tipo de aquÃ
04:32Súper Rack
04:33Ya entiendo
04:34¿Quieres que me una a ti para derrotar al Consejo de los Ricks?
04:36¿No es as�
04:37¿Eso es lo que planeas hacer?
04:38¿Por qué es lo que yo harÃa?
04:39Por favor
04:40Me parece que lo estoy haciendo
04:46Siento bastante bien yo solo
04:47Simplemente voy a descargar tus recuerdos
04:50Y luego matarte
04:53Bien
04:53Si agregamos un poco más de nitrato, de titanio
04:56Y una pizca de tártaro glorificado
05:00¡BraunÃsimo zarorno!
05:03IncreÃble lo que puedes lograr con una mente talentosa
05:05Cuando tienes sus prioridades en orden
05:07No puedo tomar todo el crédito, Jerry
05:09Tú tuviste la idea
05:11Ven aquÃ, Jerry
05:16Oye, ven un momento
05:18Quiero mostrarte algo
05:21Todos se burlan de mà por haber comprado estas
05:23Pero tú eres un cientÃfico brillante
05:25¿Qué opinas?
05:25Tienen pequeños arturitos
05:27En donde deberÃa estar George Washington
05:30¿Sabes, Jerry?
05:31No voy a decirte que el valor de ellas va a aumentar
05:33O siquiera mantenerse
05:35La verdad es que
05:36Las compraste porque te gustaban
05:38Tienen el valor para ti
05:39Y eso es todo lo que importa
05:43¿Cuánto tiempo te vas a quedar?
05:45Hasta que encontremos a tu Rick
05:46Ya encontré el mÃo
05:48Ya lo encontré
05:52¡Ayuda!
05:53Lo siento, no hay escape, hijo mÃo
05:55Encontraremos la paz en la siguiente vida
05:58Entonces se van a rendir asÃ
06:00Nos dejamos ir
06:01Al poder del único y verdadero Morty
06:03Algún dÃa regresará
06:05Larga vida al verdadero Morty
06:08El buen Morty
06:11Muy bien, Mortys
06:12Escúchenme
06:13Mi nombre es Morty Smith
06:15Obviamente que él es el Morty
06:16Que va a regresar a salvarnos a todos
06:18Obviamente
06:19De la tierra, C-137
06:22Sé que están asustados
06:23Porque yo lo estoy
06:24Pero esa no es la razón
06:25Para aceptar su destino
06:26¡Somos Mortys!
06:28Nuestras relaciones con Rick
06:29No nos definen
06:30Nuestro destino
06:31Nos pertenece
06:32Suena algo que dirÃa el verdadero Morty
06:35Estoy harto de ser un escudo humano
06:37¡Yo!
06:38¡Yo quiero ser un jardinero!
06:39¡Yo quiero escribir novelas de acción
06:41Locas e intensas!
06:42¡Soy más que un partillo!
06:44¡Él es el verdadero Morty!
06:46¡SÃ!
06:49Oiga, guarda en silencio
07:00Has vivido una vida interesante, Rick
07:02Es una lástima que no vayas a llegar hasta el final de ella
07:14¿Estás llorando?
07:15¿Por un Morty?
07:16No, es solo que los inútiles me alegran
07:18Ay, patético
07:19Los dos sabemos que si hay algo seguro en el universo
07:22Es que a los Rick no les importan los Mortys
07:24A ver, ¿qué tienen, pequeños bastardos?
07:30¡Háganlo!
07:31¡Por ti, gracias a Dios!
07:35¡Sácame de aquÃ!
07:37¡Vamos!
07:38Tienes suerte de que no se oye
07:39Entiendo tu punto, pero este no es el momento
07:47Soy la única que sufrió como los Mortys ahÃ
07:49Pobrecitos, no sé si ustedes también sufrieron por ellos
07:56SÃ, hola
07:57¿Qué no tenemos en común O.J. Simpson y yo?
07:59¡Aquà habla!
08:01¡Encontré al verdadero asesino imbécil!
08:02¡Venga para acá!
08:07Oye, tonto, se acabó la misión
08:08Hora de irnos
08:09Bueno, Jerry
08:11Es hora de despedirme
08:13Pero, ¿estás seguro?
08:15Tal vez te ves igual a Rick
08:17PodrÃamos, bueno, tal vez
08:18Deshacernos de él
08:19Bueno, no digo matarlo literalmente como tal
08:21Pero tampoco digo que no podamos matarlo como tal
08:24Pero es que...
08:25Jerry
08:25Los dos sabemos que no funcionarÃa
08:28Es hora de regresar a nuestras vidas
08:30Te quiero, Jerry
08:32Te quiero
08:55Pepe, ¿pero qué les pasarán todos estos Mortys?
08:58Regresarán con sus familias
09:00Irán a la escuela con regularidad
09:02Jugarán videojuegos
09:03Tendrán citas
09:04Pobres criaturas sin Ricks
09:07Ring de la Tierra C-137
09:09El Consejo pide disculpas por su falsa acusación
09:12Como ofrenda de paz por...
09:14Nuestro terrible error
09:16Quisiéramos recompensarte con este cupón
09:18Por un Morty extra
09:20En caso de que le pase algo
09:22Al que tienes...
09:23Ay, chico, esto
09:24No es un buen momento
09:25Ven, Morty
09:26Vámonos
09:35Ya hay tiempo para discutirlo, Rick
09:36Hice un muy buen trabajo allá para hacer un escudo humano, ¿no?
09:40Salvé tu trasero
09:41No exageres o terminarás haciéndote el amor a ti mismo
09:44No puedo creer lo que dices, Rick
09:45Esa de ahà fue la perfecta oportunidad para demostrar un poco de afecto, ¿sabes?
09:49Tener alguna conexión conmigo
09:51Morty, si quieres una conexión
09:52Ve a formar parte de algún club como todos esos tontos Ricks
09:54Puede que no conecte porque soy el Rick más Rick que existe
09:57Y por cierto, es obvio que el Rick más Rick que hay tendrÃa que tener al Morty más Morty
10:03SerÃa algo obvio, ¿verdad?
10:05SÃ, lo serÃa
10:05¿No escuchaste lo que dije?
10:07SÃ
10:08El Morty más Morty
10:10Solo no te rompas la espalda dándote palmadas
10:12Un Morty engreÃdo puede tener problemas
10:15Puede ser muy malo para todo el mundo
10:16Ah, ¿s� ¿Por qué lo dices?
10:19Te lo explicaré cuando sea
10:20Qué desastre
10:24El orgullo viene antes de la caÃda
10:25Y creo que le tocó lo que merecÃa
10:27¿Qué es eso?
10:29Hazme el láser desfibulizador
10:31Oigan chicos, ¿puedo ayudar?
10:33No
10:33Ve a limpiar los inodoros
10:35Puede que ni consigas algún amigo
10:36Nos avergüenzas de ser nosotros
10:40Por Dios
10:41He visto esta tecnologÃa antes
10:44Este Rick estaba siendo controlado remotamente
10:46Alguien más es el culpable
10:48¿Este es el recibidor?
10:49SÃ, pero ¿dónde está el transmisor?
11:17Hola Jerry
11:18¿Qué haces en mi habitación amigo?
11:20Nada
11:20Solo estaba
11:21Revisando los detectores de humo
11:24De acuerdo
11:25Bueno, vete
11:37Y bueno chicos
11:38MuchÃsimas gracias por acompañarme
11:39Un dÃa más en este capÃtulo
11:41Pues espero poder subirles un capÃtulo
11:43Doble en cada semana
11:44Porque hacerlo varias veces
11:46Es más complicado
11:47Pero una vez a la semana
11:48Yo creo que les voy a tener un capÃtulo doble
11:49Y sin más
11:50Me despido de ustedes
11:51Y sin más
11:52También pedirles que por favor
11:53Se suscriban al canal
11:54Que lo compartan
11:55Y que le den like
11:56Para que podamos seguir llegando a más gente
11:58Y me gustarÃa mucho
12:00Que me apoyaran
12:01Y estamos a punto de llegar a los
12:13¿Qué está haciendo ese imbécil allá afuera?
12:15¿Es tu amigo?
12:16¿Sabes que come sus propias heces?
12:19Oh por Dios
12:19Esto es perfecto
12:21Llamaré a nosotros
12:22Para contar
12:41Oh Clarice
12:42¿Puedes mantenerte lejado de esa pintana?
12:44Oh cuidado amigo
12:46Le promete a tu madre
12:47Que te llevaron a su
12:50¿Puedes usar Rudolf
12:52Tonight?
12:52Oh gracias Dios
12:53No estoy demasiado tarde
12:54No sé cómo agradecer
12:55No necesito
12:56No necesito
12:56Solo vayas ahÃ
12:57Y tenés un buen tiempo
12:58Yo lo haré
12:59Gracias
13:03Hey
13:04Merry Christmas
13:05Merry Christmas
13:07Rick
13:07Oh
13:08Oh
13:09Oh
13:09Es ok
13:10No tengo que
13:11Sorry
13:11No
13:12No
13:12No puedo
13:13No
13:13No quiero ser
13:14Oh ok
13:15There's a lot of people
13:17Family
13:17I don't get it
13:18You're not bad
13:18Totally fine
13:19Bye
13:20Uh why
13:21Why can you talk again
13:23It's not important Jerry
13:24Ok but why Florida
13:26Because they don't ask questions
13:27They play volleyball
13:28They party
13:29And they have fun
13:30Right
13:30Right
13:31You can do this Jerry
13:33I can do this
13:34I can do this
13:35Oh yeah
13:42What's easy
13:42So I'll lower someone else
13:43Into acid
13:45Is he dissolved
13:47At least use the downtime
13:49To reset the acid
13:50Lower
13:50I really don't like
13:51Attitude around here
13:53It's a very
13:53Lower me into acid
13:54Attitude
13:57Who are you
13:59How did you reach
14:00My sanctum
14:02What are you guys doing
14:03Did you develop an app
14:05Rule number one
14:06App development son
14:07Never follow the rules
14:08He said when the rule
14:09Is tattooed on an alien's forehead
14:11Dad
14:11Why do you think Rick
14:13Would have that rule
14:14Because he's a disruptive
14:15No dad no
14:16To keep something horrible
14:17From happening
14:18Something he's too lazy
14:19To explain
14:20Guys we're getting out
14:21There's news
14:23Bleed here
14:24And here
14:26I'm not co-bleed
14:27Under the authority
14:28The idea of our treaty
14:29Twix the realms
14:30Of dragon and man
14:31Oh my god
14:31It's my first gay wedding
14:32Sorry
14:32Hereby bind
14:33This noble serpent
14:34And rider
14:35At the school
14:37Here's your tome
14:38Of dragon spells
14:39And lore
14:40That'll have everything
14:41You need
14:42Enjoy your dragon
14:42Hey
14:43I'm Jesus
14:44I'm Mary
14:44That's my mom's name
14:46Stop
14:46Dude
14:47She's a hooker
14:48She's a better disciple
14:49Than you
14:53Oh no
14:56I can't die
15:21Tired of the same boring adventures
15:23With your dog shit Morty
15:24Yeah
15:25Oh jeez
15:25Then get ready for the citadel
15:27Of Rick's story train
15:28Story train
15:29Story train
15:29The citadel of Rick's story train
15:31Comes with car after car
15:32Of enemies, lovers and goombie
15:33All grappling with the nature
15:35Of who you truly are
15:36Rick is a god's ticket please
15:37Whoa watch out
15:38It's story lord
15:39Damn
15:39He's jacked
15:40You're calm god
15:41And of course
15:42What story would be complete
15:43Without the engineer
15:44Of the greatest story ever told
15:45Oh jeezus christ
15:46I have come not to judge the world
15:48But save it
15:49Then the best part is
15:49The fun never ends
15:50Thanks to the Rick patented
15:51Anthology generator
15:52You'll never run out of new stories
15:53And people to tell them
15:55Are you alive?
15:55Of course
15:56But not in any ways that matter
15:57They have no soul
15:59Fuck it
16:00Fuck this
16:01Story train available now
16:02On the citadel of Rick's
16:03Buy it ironically
16:04Buy it sincerely
16:04Just buy it
16:05Not buying it as an act
16:06Buy it now
16:07Look it up
16:07It's real
16:08www.story-train.com
16:10On the internet
16:10It's there
16:11Buy it
16:11Buy the train
16:12We want you to buy the train
16:13Why should the viscounts of Venus
16:17Continue sitting inside and shut it up
16:19How this for a reason
16:20We got all the rings
16:22And all the balls
16:23Now fuck you
16:24If it's eternal
16:25If it's eternal
16:26Venus and Taiton
16:27Is no longer honored
16:28I declare you all moons
16:30Of Jupiter
16:31Because that's what you are to us
16:33A bunch of moons
16:34Do the Knights of the Sun
16:35Plan to protect Mercury
16:36From this chaos?
16:38Because if we're on our own
16:39There's a new
16:40Very tiny sun in town
16:46It's all you, pal
16:47Um, hello?
16:49Don't I have, like, authority
16:50Over this Suns of the Moon meeting?
16:52That all depends
16:53Who the hell are you?
16:55This guy's the king of the sun
16:56Who is the waste?
16:58Maintain verticality, Vertisaber
17:01Avertive
17:02Alright, looking good
17:03Stay on target
17:04Uh-huh
17:07Progress report
17:09Vertisaber, do you copy?
17:10Do I have to respond every time?
17:13Excuse me?
17:13I'm trying to stay perfectly vertical
17:15Not to give constant information
17:17You do your job, I'll do mine
17:18I control you
17:19Okay, I'll just turn off my brain
17:21You can do that
17:21Bye
17:22Are you fucking kidding me?
17:24Shit!
17:25Trajectory's drifting, sir
17:26Being too indirect
17:27I happen to dabble in multiversal travel
17:29And I could probably zap you guys
17:31To an alternate Earth
17:32We used portal travel eons ago
17:34But evolved to a one universe
17:35One truth policy
17:36As the highest form of existence
17:38Sort of a
17:39Put your own oxygen mask on
17:40Before helping others
17:41Type of a thing
17:42Have you been on a plane?
17:44Yes, I've been on a plane
17:46We have no problem
17:47If you jump dimensions
17:49Although we sense
17:50Your gateway devices
17:51Suboptimal
17:52Let us help
17:52I don't need help
17:53I'm here to help you
17:55What the hell is this?
17:57A portal pistol
17:58The gateway's received through
17:59Not a green swirl
18:00So now you can see
18:01Where you're going
18:02Clougher girl
18:03Higher, higher
18:05It is natural
18:06For the day
18:07To serve the night
18:09Night was here long
18:11Before day
18:12Half of all time
18:14Is night to time
18:16157
18:18150 days
18:20One more
18:21Please
18:21I hate exercise
18:22Silence
18:23Catch harder
18:25Oh my god
18:26Can I fucking believe this?
18:27Here we fucking go
18:29Ow
18:30Jeez
18:32Pardon
18:33The interruption
18:34We are once again
18:35In the federal clear
18:36What the hell?
18:37Are you a turkey Dracula now?
18:38Marty, is that a poop licking
18:39GamePod?
18:40Actually, it's the GamePod XL
18:42They say it's the most realistic
18:43Video game console ever
18:44I never got you that
18:45Space Mom did
18:46She's in for the holiday weekend
18:47Remember?
18:48Shit, in that case
18:49Let's go
18:49Let's get out of here
18:50I heard you smack the glass, dad
18:51If you bail all the stuff
18:52Yeah, I'd say don't hop through a portal
18:54But oh wait
18:55You can't
18:56Look at it this way, Marty
18:57Life is a subscription
18:58And Thanksgiving is your family's yearly charge
19:01What?
19:04What are you doing?
19:06Oh, um
19:06Can I drive?
19:08The
19:09Feel the open road?
19:10Alright
19:11Who's this grandson?
19:13I like his style
19:15Marty, you know how
19:16Father's face is up, right?
19:17Yeah, yeah
19:17I'm just, uh
19:18Following my
19:20Intinct
19:21Will you just go up?
19:22Stop, you're gonna make me die wrong
19:23Wait a minute, what?
19:25Marty, do you have a death crystal in your pockets?
19:27No, me
19:27You little monster
19:28I thought you were masturbating
19:29You took that in stride?
19:30You'd rather I address it?
19:31That's what I'd be doing
19:32Why would you steal a death crystal?
19:34I want to die old
19:34Stop driving
19:35You'll just run out of a bitch
19:36Give me the way out of the morning
19:38God damn it
19:45What are you people?
19:46What?
19:46We have many interests
19:47But right now my primary one is the location of your safe
19:52We exchange tokens for digital currency
19:54We don't have a safe
19:56Correction
19:56What you don't have is a head
20:00Is this a weapon or a medical tool?
20:02Why would you give me a gun with a laser that thin?
20:05Did you hear me tell him he wouldn't have a head?
20:07He's dead
20:08People can't search or anything
20:09They don't touch me
20:10I like me
20:12Touched
20:12Check the hostages
20:13Make sure nobody else here is doing
20:16A die hard
20:18Biblesaurus
20:18You made it
20:19I haven't missed this for anything
20:21You said it Mr. Celery
20:22What the fuck is all of this?
20:24Greatest story ever told
20:25Story Lord
20:26No it's not
20:27It's awful
20:29I beg your pardon
20:33God damn
20:34My lord
20:36Oh my god
20:37No no
20:38We suck
20:41So you did a 9-11
20:43Almost did a 9-11
20:45We went with the Pearl Harbor
20:46We're pretty classy
20:47Why were either of those an option?
20:50Ask the Saudis
20:51Wow
20:51Damn
20:52Yeah
20:52I'm political
20:53I'm political now
20:54How about you Jerry?
20:55You got anything to add to the family dynamic?
20:57I've been getting into beekeeping lately
21:03Is something wrong with that?
21:05Planets own
21:06Planets own
21:07Planets
21:08The size systems of steamy, lush globes
21:11And barely habitable celestial objects
21:13Are drifting through the void in shells
21:16Planets only
21:17Let's terraform
21:18Or colonize me as I am
21:20Planets only
21:21Oops
21:21There's a hole in my ozum
21:23I didn't put it there
21:25Did you?
21:26I can't sell it by myself
21:27I'm not smart enough
21:29Young, dumb, and orbiting sun
21:31The greenhouse is in full effect
21:33And planets only
21:35Oh, would you split my pageant
21:36To distinct continents?
21:38I don't have hydrostatic equilibrium
21:40Yachtes
21:41Is that something you can learn?
21:42You get the idea
21:45I had sex with your wife
21:47I did it!
21:48I've been in portal travel
21:49Jack the Ripper
21:50Actual service
21:52Cool
21:52This happened too?
21:53I'm pregnant
21:54He's just like you
21:56It's raining people
21:57Maybe something is true
21:58Jerry Smith's dad doing what he loved
22:00Getting stoned by bees
22:02Off
22:02Off what?
22:03Have some respect at his dad's funeral
22:05I'm gonna name you Jerry Jr.
22:07Thanks for solving that murder, guys
22:09Here's a skateboard
22:10Aw, thanks, Tony
22:11What are you?
22:12Wait for it!
22:12Holy war!
22:13Holy war!
22:14Holy is forever!
22:23Loyalist and democratic grand sadistas
22:25Claims the seven new cities today
22:27While the state publican
22:28Contrasurgent Confederation of Dedication
22:30To Video Game Reality
22:31Debated the territories of
22:33Mortopia
22:33New South State Morty
22:34And we Morty all
22:35In the end, what does it matter?
22:37Everyone's morty
22:38Nobody wants to die
22:39And that's a hell of a reason
22:40To kill yourself
22:40Oh, but what can we do?
22:42Oh, jeez
22:46Soon, our legion of Hitlers
22:48Will bring about a new galactic order
22:50And I guess we need
22:52Little Hitler leave this
22:53I'm sorry
22:54Are we just thinking
22:55It's all Hitlers now?
22:56I'll be the same, bad guy
22:59Exterminate him!
23:01Out of the hole
23:02He's one at a time
23:05Oh, my God
23:12I hope there weren't other people
23:14On the planet
23:14And there were no other people
23:17On the planet
23:17Only Hitlers
23:18Each one ready to start
23:19Their own holocaust
23:21Meaning an estimated
23:2230 million lives
23:23Were saved by a single blast
23:24And the galaxy owes it all
23:26To Jerry Smith
23:27Hashtag
23:31We're at syrup
23:32Huh
23:33You know what?
23:34Maybe
23:34I'll use my intern
23:37Glutie
23:38Good
23:38Thanks, Glutie
23:39Anything else?
23:41Do you want to develop an app?
23:42No, thanks, Glutie
23:43Hey, what's up, Glutie?
23:44Hi, Glutie
23:44Do you want to develop an app?
23:45No, thanks
23:46Rick, why does it say
23:46Do not develop an app
23:48On your interns for a year?
23:49Why, you want to develop one?
23:50I'm glad you asked that, Jerry
23:51And so you don't develop his app
23:53Glutie, go make some photocopies of something
23:56Oh, well, if anyone wants to develop an app with me
23:58I'm down
23:59Rick and Morty
24:01Story, Lord
24:02I should have known you were behind this
24:04And I did
24:05Who is this guy?
24:05Ugh, it's like a matrix space frazier
24:08Let's get this fight over with, nerd
24:09I've got shit to do
24:10You of all people know Rick
24:12There could be no destination without a journey
24:14I don't know that at all
24:15I regularly teleports
24:16Oh, of course
24:18No rules for you
24:19Spiraling through the multiverse
24:21Burping semi-improvised dialogue
24:23About how nothing matters
24:24So we may as well pull out our dicks
24:25And rub them on fate's glaring teeth
24:28Like we're brushing fate's teeth
24:29But we're using your gross dirty dick
24:32Look at your dad
24:33Such a dork keeping bees
24:36I mean, at least it's interesting though
24:39At least I wish my dad kept bees
24:42I mean, it's kind of cute
24:44Like
24:45Your dad keeps bees
24:49How old is your dad?
24:51He's obviously beekeeping age
24:56I don't know
24:57I think it's kind of sweet
25:02Summer, I want to fuck your dad
25:03Oh, really?
25:05Why are you wearing that suit?
25:10Yeah
25:10Why?
25:15Yeah
25:15Because you're all such clothing experts
25:20That's fair
25:22Fair
25:22You might take it
25:24Get back to work
25:27I rule the night and stuff
25:31Yes
25:32Okay
25:33As you wish
25:36Use the emergency fortunes
25:38Fighting fortunes, they're leveling up
25:42You'll have great success in a fight
25:45I'll be down
25:52Fuck, this ball sucks
25:54And it's really valuable data
26:01Using you as a human shield
26:04What are you doing?
26:09Wow, what an amazing joke I just told
26:12And also, what an adventure
26:13I guess it doesn't matter where we're from
26:16If we're together, huh?
26:17Good final oral thing
26:19This is everyone's original dimension now
26:21Great wrap-up, kids
26:22Ugh, you're back
26:23Oh shit, season two, Jared
26:25Before you bust my balls
26:26Can someone help with the shower?
26:28It's colder than Beth
26:28On our anniversary
26:29Also, look why found it in Rick's room
26:32Mmm, I'm Mr. Friend-o
26:34I don't care how cute he is
26:35We agreed
26:36No boogans did in the house
26:37Wait, season two, Jared
26:38Mr. Friend-o
26:40Chaos
26:41No one knows who planted the bomb
26:43But one thing is clear
26:44Orphan Island
26:45A city populated entirely by orphans
26:47Now sits on the brink of doom
26:49The Orphan Island bomb squad
26:51Is trying to dismantle it as we speak
26:57Holy crap
26:58I hate to say it, but
27:00I wish there was something to attack
27:01Yeah, it's too bad nobody bought a cart of fruit
27:03You beautiful son of a bitch
27:08Second time
27:09Another water
27:10Strike me down
27:11What?
27:12Strike me down
27:13I'm not striking you down
27:14Strike me down
27:15I'll become a pile of clothes like that old guy
27:17But you'll die
27:18You're drunk here
27:19I'll do it myself
27:24Now just cut off your penises and throw them into the sun
27:29Okie dokie
27:30I see what Daniel wants to go first
27:33Uh, not true
27:34Do I just leave the sword wherever?
27:36Is there a sword man?
27:37What are you saying?
27:38You don't want to cut off it?
27:40It's a terrific and painful sacrifice we all make for the most important and powerful job in the universe
27:45We've done it since the dawn of dawns
27:47Yes, it's Earth
27:49I'm being destroyed by the NX-5
27:52Brought to you by Rayburn
27:58I guess the galaxy's most wanted mammal needs her daddy to come change her diapy
28:03Come on kids, we have to go do a fucking piece of shit Star Wars
28:07But help me with these, please
28:09Why are they called death crystals?
28:11Do they kill you?
28:12You're taking a bullet, Morty
28:13Death crystals show you how you're gonna die
28:20Jesus Christ, I die a million times?
28:23Your future's dipped from your present, which if you're living right, keeps changing
28:27Truth is, anyone that knows how they're definitely gonna die is either boring as hell or about to get shut
28:31up
28:32Come on, watch this
28:42Uh-huh
28:42Well, I thought it was cool
28:44So, it should be in and out, simple exchange, not even really an adventure
28:47And if anything goes wrong, which it won't, jump into the same vat of acid I jump into
28:51Okay, wait, wait, what? What vat of acid?
28:54Morty, close the door
28:55I pre-scouted this location and placed a vat of fake acid amongst the real ones
28:59It's got air hoses and a compartment of bones at the bottom
29:01Things go wrong, which they won't
29:03We jump into the vat of acid and I'll release the bones, they'll float up
29:06What is this face you're making?
29:08You're an inventor?
29:09Yeah, what part of a fake acid vat with built-in air supply and quick-release bones
29:12This isn't inventive enough for you
29:17Summer, have soups shook a mind by your playlist and cleanest tonight
29:20You love it?
29:21It's snake jazz
29:22My little brother got bit by a snake in outer space and killed it with a hubcap on my grandpa
29:26And they found this
29:29It's my jazz
29:30Seriously, my new thing now is snake jazz
29:33Can you alter the course of a species evolution like that without repercussions?
29:37Gee, I don't know Nancy
29:38Can you alter the course of being a giant fucking nerd?
29:40Sorry
29:41Also later we need to
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