- 4 hours ago
First broadcast 4th December 1971.
Following new rules that ban long hair on boys and short skirts on girls, the pupils, led by the Weaver Street group, decide to hold a protest to protect their rights.
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Vivienne Martin - Miss Petting
Bernard Holley - Mr. Hurst
Barry McCarthy - Terry Stringer
Charles Bolton - Godber
Billy Hamon - Des
Rosemary Faith - Daisy
Drina Pavlovic - Celia
Tina Heath - Pupil
Bruce Hodgkins - School pupil
Clive Moss - Steele
Gregory Scott - Mr. Wyatt
Following new rules that ban long hair on boys and short skirts on girls, the pupils, led by the Weaver Street group, decide to hold a protest to protect their rights.
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Vivienne Martin - Miss Petting
Bernard Holley - Mr. Hurst
Barry McCarthy - Terry Stringer
Charles Bolton - Godber
Billy Hamon - Des
Rosemary Faith - Daisy
Drina Pavlovic - Celia
Tina Heath - Pupil
Bruce Hodgkins - School pupil
Clive Moss - Steele
Gregory Scott - Mr. Wyatt
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:22The Lone Ranger
00:41Norman, have you really finished with my chair? I hate standing when I'm wearing new shoes.
00:46Just getting your legs the same length, huh?
00:48Ah.
00:50There we are, sir. Look at it. Marvellous. There we are. Now, sir. Here we are. Your wobbling days are
00:55over, sir.
00:56Norman, I look up to workmanship of that calibre.
00:59Yes, sir.
01:00Oh, dear. Oh, you are rather low, sir, aren't you? Yes. Well, I'll tell you what, sir. I'll put some
01:05blocks under the bottom. I'll use these, sir.
01:08No, no, no. Oh, later, Norman. Later. I want you to listen to my new epigram.
01:13Oh, I'd love to, sir. Yes, tell me. Is it stereo, sir?
01:16Stereo? Oh, I see. Epigram, radiogram. Really, Norman, you're almost as funny as that Sandy towel you're always talking about.
01:24Powell, sir. Sandy Powell.
01:25Yes, well, never mind. Now, listen to my epigram.
01:28Boys tops up, girls bottoms down. Oh, sir, please.
01:33That is, haircuts and hemlines. Longer skirts for the girls, shorter hair for the boys.
01:38Oh. If I had a glass of sherry, sir, I would toast you for saying that, sir.
01:43Ah. Would you like a glass of sherry, Norman?
01:45What a very kind suggestion, sir. Thank you very much indeed. Very kind of you, sir.
01:48Yes. I want to wipe out the suggestion that Fen Street is a reservoir of spivs and spivesses.
01:55Here, here, sir. To the end of the submissive society, sir.
01:59There we are.
02:02Beautiful, sir. Now, how much, sir?
02:06Well, I should think just below the ears and just above the knees.
02:10You what? Oh, I see, sir. Skirts and hair.
02:13I'm with you, old mother.
02:15So?
02:16You wanted to see me, headmaster?
02:19Ah, yes, Doris. Now, I want you to imagine that you're a girl.
02:24I'll do my best.
02:25Now, if they came down to just above the knee, would you feel old-fashioned?
02:32If what came down?
02:33Skirts.
02:35The girls round here are revealing far too much of their unmentionables.
02:40Knickers, headmaster.
02:42Don't argue, Doris. I'm right.
02:44I wasn't arguing. I was avoiding coy words like unmentionables.
02:49Oh, I see. But anyhow, back to my point.
02:52I was thoroughly shocked the other day. I was on a bus and little Maisie running up the stairs and
02:56a rude boy shouted,
02:57Look, she's still wearing her pink ones. Oh, it was dreadful.
03:01Well, I agree in principle, of course.
03:03Two inches above the knee would be both attractive and modest.
03:06Yes, well, the shorter the better, as far as I'm concerned, you know.
03:09We can do without your barrack room interjections, Potter.
03:12All right. Well, it is barrack room.
03:14But there's no harm in lads having short hair, is there?
03:16I mean, we won the war with short hair, didn't we?
03:19And that is the second barrel of my edict.
03:21No fuzzy wuzzies in Fenstreet.
03:23Well, again, I agree in principle. But will we be able to engender the practice?
03:27I have made the rule, Doris.
03:29I have made a rule.
03:33He has made a rule.
03:35He may also have made a rod for his own back.
03:37This is just the sort of thing to incite our children to revolt.
03:40Revolt? Oh, they wouldn't dare.
03:42Why, that man is a giant.
03:45Well, sitting in that chair, he looks more like one of the seven dwarfs.
03:53Get up, you pack of demented hyenas!
03:56I did not make the rule!
03:59I don't care if you wear skirts up to your neck and hair down to your ankles.
04:02Of course you do. You're all the same, you old blokes.
04:05Old? Old? What do you mean, old? I'm not old.
04:07You are. You must be in your 50s at least.
04:11I'm 38.
04:13Get up, all right, all right.
04:16Anyway, that is not the point.
04:17The point is that the headmaster has made a rule, and you must abide by it.
04:21Why?
04:22Why? Because, er...
04:25Because it's a rule.
04:26Look, that might have been all right for you lot in the last century, but this is now, isn't it?
04:30It's now, isn't it?
04:31It's half past 11.
04:33Oh, dear.
04:35Freedom!
04:36Whoa!
04:38Freedom from what?
04:41Freedom from fiends!
04:43What better for your name, did I?
04:45Well, well, well, what about it?
04:48Freedom from haircuts!
04:49Freedom from...
04:49I'd find that bloody banjo one of these days!
04:52Oh, no, sir!
04:52And then you'll have nothing to say at all!
04:54Give it to me!
04:54Here, here, here!
04:55You leave that alone, mate.
04:56That is private property, that is.
04:58Yeah.
04:58Oh, Mr. Stringer.
05:00Gobba!
05:00Yeah, private property!
05:03Well, I didn't say it wasn't, did I?
05:07Well, so are Celia's saris.
05:10Don't see that old folk have got any right to cut them all up.
05:13I am not talking about saris.
05:15I am talking about skirts.
05:17Hey, six maniacs!
05:19Well, what if I do wear a sari to school?
05:22Oh, Celia.
05:23Oh, I wish you would.
05:25I wish you'd look like a princess.
05:26Lovely cold round the middle, though.
05:28I've told you saris do not come under this rule.
05:32Well, why should Indian kids like me get special treatment?
05:35Why pick on the white people?
05:36Yeah.
05:37Race to discrimination, that is, mate.
05:39Oh, Stringer, you are an aberration.
05:42I'm one of these days.
05:43You leave my cousin alone or punch you ready.
05:47Now, look, you can't talk to me like that.
05:48I'm a teacher.
05:49Do you understand the teacher?
05:50Yeah, and we are the new generation, mate.
05:52We are the writing on your wall.
05:54We are the beautiful people!
05:57I am not a teacher.
05:59I'm a raving lunatic.
06:02Oh, shut up, will you?
06:04Oh, God.
06:05I hope I don't get that lot.
06:07I have nerves, you see.
06:09I know some of them.
06:10I used to teach them at Weaver Street.
06:12Well, I say teach.
06:14More like standing in front of them as a human target, really.
06:17I'm not sure I've done the right thing now.
06:20I've only taken in since before.
06:23Do you think I should resign?
06:24We haven't started yet.
06:28Now, it was in here that we had to meet the headmaster, wasn't it?
06:31That was right.
06:32It was in here.
06:32I say, it wasn't.
06:33They're not going to kill us for being in the wrong place, are they?
06:35I just don't want to start off on the wrong foot.
06:38In the sands of the desert is stained with red.
06:41The gatlings jammed and the colonel is dead.
06:46He must be the headmaster.
06:48Should we wake him up?
06:50I don't know.
06:54No, don't, no, don't, don't.
06:56He may be angry.
06:58He's got a cruel mouth.
07:00What, him?
07:01No.
07:02More like a bush baby having a kip to me.
07:05Or, um, ah.
07:07Pray up.
07:08Pray up.
07:09Hey, hey, hey.
07:09Steady on.
07:10You won't last a week out at this rate.
07:13Good morning.
07:13Uh, good morning.
07:16John Hurst.
07:17Uh, uh, this is Miss Petting.
07:20I have nerves.
07:22Then steal them, Miss Petting.
07:24I miss you, assistant head.
07:26I'd like you to meet the headmaster.
07:28How do you do?
07:32Oh, hello.
07:33I shall try ever so hard to please.
07:36That is Mr. Smith.
07:38The headmaster is on his way.
07:42Doris, do you know I walked all the way from my study with my eyes closed.
07:46Now, isn't that astonishing?
07:48Breathtaking.
07:49Headmaster, this is Miss, um...
07:51I know who they are.
07:52I know who they are.
07:53The new crew for the good ship Fenstreet.
07:56And their names Hurst and Petting.
07:58Correct?
07:59Yes.
08:00How do you do, Miss Hurst?
08:02Mr. Petting?
08:03We're the other way round, sir.
08:04No, no, no.
08:05None of that.
08:06You'll find me a stern but just captain.
08:08I do hope you'll have a very happy voyage across the wide sea of learning.
08:12Thank you, sir.
08:13When do we cast off?
08:15What's he talking about, Doris?
08:16I think Mr. Hurst was merely continuing your rather hackneyed analogy.
08:20I do hope you're not going to be too brash, young man.
08:23Remember, you are but the snotty to my skipper.
08:25Sorry, sir.
08:26All right, all right.
08:27No more keel hauling from the old tyrant on the bridge.
08:30I just wanted you to know that there is a strong man in command here.
08:34Oi, Oliver.
08:35And now, Cromwell.
08:36All right.
08:36Listen, Cromwell.
08:38Are you still persisting with these new rules about haircuts and skirts?
08:42Yes, I am.
08:43Right.
08:44You've had it, then.
08:45String up!
08:46Well, you see, I sent him off with a flea in his ear, didn't I?
08:50Well, now that you understand your duties, I think I shall seek the seclusion that my
08:53cabin grants.
08:55Oh, Doris, do you think I could do it with my eyes shut?
08:58Like everything else.
09:00Thank you, Doris.
09:01Hasta la vista.
09:06Welcome to Fen Street.
09:11And this morning, as you file into school, the girls will file through that door, and
09:17won't betide any girl with a hemline more than two inches above the knee, Miss Petting
09:21has strict instructions to report her to me.
09:25The boys will file past Mr. Potter, who will bring his military service to bear in terms
09:31of your haircuts.
09:35Now, wait for my whistle before you march smartly into school.
09:44Mr. Price, your whistle.
09:46Oh, they threw it on the roof.
09:47Please, make use of mine, monsieur.
09:50Oh, thank you, Mr. Smith.
10:07There will be a rule about trousers on the notice board tomorrow.
10:13One minute.
10:14Here, cut.
10:15On with you.
10:17Here, cut.
10:18Oh.
10:19One minute.
10:20Here, cut.
10:20Get that, cut.
10:21Here.
10:23Oh.
10:23No, you're all right, son.
10:27One minute.
10:28Haircut.
10:29Yeah.
10:30Just a mob, and clever dick.
10:32Come here.
10:33Cups off, eh?
10:37Roger!
10:39Gatsy!
10:41Right.
10:42Haircut.
10:43On with you.
10:49You're huge.
10:51Well, you know me, Armin, sir, I'm not one to tell tales, you know.
10:54When your swagger seat gets broken, sir, you have to draw the line somewhere, don't you, sir?
10:57Don't worry, Norman.
10:58I shall be thoroughly ruthless with the miscreants.
11:00Ah.
11:01You make even my flesh creeps up.
11:04Ah.
11:06Very good, then, sir.
11:07In the hall.
11:07Follow me.
11:09Oh.
11:10After you.
11:11I'm right behind you, sir.
11:15Free shadow.
11:16What is the meaning of this, sir?
11:18I demand to know.
11:20Shall we?
11:20Yes.
11:21See that, sir.
11:21No, no, no.
11:22How dare you?
11:23This is Fen Street, not Trafalgar Square.
11:25And this is a sitting, mate.
11:27Here we are, and here we stay until you change them stupid rules.
11:31Unclench your fists, sir.
11:32If you go Berksirks, sir, there's no knowing what you'll do, sir.
11:35Oh, I don't know what I'll do anyhow, Norman.
11:37Ah.
11:37You leave this to me, sir.
11:39I have dealt, you know, for the spot of trouble in my time, sir.
11:43His name was Hitler.
11:45Ah, yes.
11:46Right now, you fall out.
11:47You've got five seconds before I lose my temper.
11:49And that, you say, is an automaton.
11:52Right?
11:52Yes.
11:53Here we go, then.
11:54Five, four, three, two, one, zero.
11:58Oh, you see?
11:59I'm bloody annoyed now.
12:02Oh.
12:35Well, listen, you could be starved out, you know.
12:38Yeah, you must be joking.
12:41Well, give us another bang of days.
12:43People have liver and bacon for sale.
12:45You don't seem to realise that I've lost my temper here, you know.
12:48It's not nice.
12:51I could grow ugly at any moment.
12:53You've done that years ago.
12:55Have a sausage.
12:56Ah, wait a minute.
12:58That's fraternising with the enemy, that is.
13:00Ah, that's underdog.
13:02Mr. Potter.
13:03Ah, that's it.
13:05Ah, you've had it now, my boy.
13:06You've had your chips.
13:07Ah, they're for tea.
13:09Ah, what I mean is that my headmaster's gigantic brain has just come up with something, you see.
13:14That's all.
13:15Ah, Norman, I can't think of anything.
13:17Any news from the front?
13:18Ah, well, I think I've, uh, scared them a little.
13:21Yes.
13:21Oh, aye.
13:22They look scared, don't they?
13:23Well, the longer we leave them, the stronger they'll get.
13:26This really is the most absurd situation.
13:28If it weren't for the good name of the school, I'd be tempted to telephone the police.
13:32Good name?
13:32This school's got a name like a plate of pigs' offer.
13:35Well, if my infants were naughty, I used to tell them a story.
13:39Would that be any good?
13:40No, it wouldn't.
13:41I shouldn't have said that.
13:43I'm sorry.
13:44The Odessa steps.
13:46What's that?
13:47An old-time dance?
13:48No, no, no, no.
13:50The situation.
13:51The mob versus authority.
13:53Oh?
13:54And, uh, what did authority do?
13:56Fired on the poor wretches.
13:58Oh, I see.
13:59That's a good idea.
13:59Hey, Potter.
14:00Sure.
14:02Nip out and get us some hand grenades, will you?
14:04Right.
14:05Hang on a minute.
14:07Oh, no, then when my pocket floor's scarred with eye-explosive...
14:11Don't laugh in.
14:12Doris, why are the children behaving like this?
14:14Whose fault is it?
14:15Yours.
14:16Crabapple.
14:17Well, it is.
14:19Imposing rules which are completely unworkable in a school like Fen Street.
14:23I know what we should do.
14:24Oh, and what's that, slugger?
14:26Form a school film society.
14:28Films like Battleship Potemkin still have contemporary significance.
14:33Now, you've had it.
14:34We're bringing Big Bertha to bear.
14:36Shout it out.
14:38We want to be free.
14:39Shout it out.
14:40Be quiet.
14:42String up.
14:44Stand up.
14:46Now.
14:47Oh, very well.
14:49We've seen your anemic little demonstration against the new rules, and it hasn't got you anywhere,
14:54has it?
14:55Of course it hasn't.
14:56Oh, hit on, monsieur.
14:58Be quiet.
14:58But, so now, it's up to you to suggest more reasonable means for discussing something
15:05with which you disagree.
15:06All right, then.
15:08How about this?
15:09How about having one of us students sitting in on staff meetings to talk about new rules,
15:13and that when they're first brought up?
15:15Yes!
15:16Stringer, when you're finally let loose on British industry, bells will ring in the Kremlin.
15:22Ah, in the Kremlin.
15:24Did you hear that?
15:25That is the most intolerable suggestion.
15:28It's anarchy.
15:29Well, have some snotty Norse kid breathing down her neck at staff meetings?
15:32Never.
15:33But is it such a bad idea, staff and children working together?
15:36In my last school, we used to call it the Chatterbox Club.
15:40We used to sit around on cardboard toadstools and talk things over.
15:44Oh, bloody hell.
15:47I'm sorry.
15:48Look, if this idea came from a sincere kid, it might be worth considering.
15:51But it's Stringer.
15:52I know him from Weaver Street.
15:53This protest is just a way of avoiding schoolwork.
15:56He's a cynical troublemaker.
15:57I quite agree, Mr. Hurst.
15:58May I remind you that I am the captain of this ship?
16:01Teach him a spinafore.
16:02And I will steer you through the storm while a lesser man would fear to take the tiller.
16:08This is it, you know.
16:09Oh, my word, yes.
16:10Oh, my headmaster has just lit his blue touch paper.
16:14Now, listen to me.
16:15I am not a man to be bullied and chivvied.
16:17This is my final decision, whether you like it or not.
16:20You will send a representative to the staff meeting.
16:23Hooray!
16:23Oh, good God, you're all in.
16:25And I am going to be even more unyielding than that.
16:27You will elect the member him yourselves without any help from us.
16:31No help.
16:32For heaven's sake, Morris.
16:34You've just suggested the very thing we told you not to do.
16:36Don't be too hasty, Doris.
16:37This is a trick on my part.
16:39A trick?
16:39Yes.
16:40I shall not be going to the staff meetings.
16:43He will not be going.
16:46Oi!
16:47Pay attention, staff.
16:50Pay what, Castro?
16:52We have picked our representative, haven't we?
16:54Oh, and I wonder who that could be.
16:58Aim.
17:04Well done, Norman.
17:05Norman, I almost wish I were going to the staff meeting myself.
17:08Oh, no, no, no, sir, no.
17:10You stay out of everything, sir, like you always do.
17:12Ah, thank you, Norman.
17:13But you will let me know everything that goes on.
17:15Of course, sir.
17:16Yes, you will have a vibrato postscript, sir, of every word that is uttered, sir.
17:22Now, look here, sir.
17:23Have a look down here.
17:23Look, look.
17:24Now, see that?
17:25See?
17:26Oh, my dear fellow.
17:28If I'd known you were hard of hearing, I'd have shouted.
17:31No, no, sir.
17:32It's not a deaf aid, sir.
17:33This is a tape recorder, you see.
17:34Yes, do you know that I take the old of the Alain Le Mane reunion on here, sir?
17:38Yeah.
17:38Bravo, Norman.
17:40And where is the microphone?
17:42Pardon?
17:44Where is the microphone?
17:46Now, look, it's near, sir.
17:47See?
17:48The slow.
17:49Oh, I see.
17:51And then...
17:52Now, listen, Donna.
17:54You've got a big responsibility at this staff meeting.
17:56You are representing all of us.
17:58You will.
17:59I'll do my best, Terry.
18:01Are you sure I'm the right bloke for the job?
18:03Yeah, positive.
18:04All you've got to do is put our points of view.
18:06Yeah.
18:09What's points of view, Terry?
18:11Well, you know, views which we make a point of making.
18:14Oh.
18:15Well, I'll try, but I've got to do with me.
18:17I'm not the brightest thing in the world.
18:19Ah, listen.
18:20Just take everything slowly and carefully.
18:23You'll do fine.
18:24Now, off you go.
18:24Yeah, I'll do fine.
18:26Hey, Terry, I thought you wanted to screw this meeting up.
18:29You've got him taking it seriously.
18:31Can you think of a better way?
18:33He won't like you conning him, Terry.
18:35He won't?
18:36No.
18:36He's fit as two short planks, hasn't he?
18:38Thank God.
18:44Oh, decided to stay with us, have you, headmaster?
18:46No, no, no.
18:47I am going to cloister myself up in my inner sanctum.
18:50I wish he'd wall himself up in a bloody kiln.
18:53Are you settling in at Fen Street now, Miss Petting?
18:57I've lost weight.
18:58Oh, yeah.
19:01Well, come along, then.
19:03Come in and sit down.
19:05Yeah.
19:06Won't go too fast, will you?
19:07Yeah, because we've got to go over everything till I understand it.
19:11Terry said.
19:12I'll bet he did.
19:13Time wasting by proxy.
19:15Oh, and Gibbons, if you disagree with me, raise a point of order.
19:18Don't punch me in the ear, right?
19:20Of course not.
19:20This is serious, isn't it?
19:22I believe the boy is sincere.
19:26Could I have a glass of water?
19:28Oh.
19:28No.
19:29Sorry.
19:30Now, then.
19:32Potter!
19:35Don't you...
19:36me, Miss Yottle.
19:37The kids are represented, so I am representing the entire administrative staff of the school.
19:42But there is only you.
19:44Which is why I am the man for the job.
19:47Oh, very well.
19:47This won't take long.
19:49Now, Gibbons, I'll begin by trying to precede the opinions of the staff concerning the new
19:54rules.
20:02The boys' brigade out in the street.
20:04Eh?
20:06And remember, Gibbons, protocol must be observed.
20:09If you have something to say, say it through the chair.
20:12Oh, I've got you.
20:13Yeah.
20:16Was that you, Potter?
20:19Gibbons, Mr. Price.
20:21Once again, let us begin.
20:24Gibbons, Mr. Price.
20:25Once again, let us begin.
20:27Who is doing this?
20:29Miss, I want to say something.
20:32Well, very well, Gibbons.
20:35What does Proud to call me?
20:37What are you doing, boy?
20:39I was baking through the chair, hadn't I?
20:45No, no, no, boy.
20:47You mustn't take things so literally.
20:49Terry said I've got to do the job proper.
20:53Yes, well, why not take notes?
20:55Good idea, me old sunshine.
20:58Now, look, I think I can summarise the, uh, star stealing.
21:02Go slower, Pricey.
21:03Eh?
21:03Oh, very well.
21:04I think I can summarise.
21:07How do you spell think?
21:08Oh, dear.
21:09Oh, Potter.
21:10Oh, I can't help it.
21:12I'm not very good at this.
21:13That's why Terry picked you.
21:14He knew we'd never get through a proper meeting.
21:15Well, that shows all you know,
21:17cos he said I've got to take this serious.
21:19And why?
21:19I don't want to be unkind, Gobber,
21:21but you are a bit slow.
21:22So? So?
21:23Terry knows it.
21:24He's using you.
21:24He's always done that.
21:25He did it at Weaver's...
21:26You're lying!
21:27He wouldn't do that.
21:28Gibbons, remember where you are.
21:30Well, he shouldn't say things like that about my cousin.
21:32May I suggest an adjournment until after break?
21:36What's that?
21:37A little rest, Gibbons.
21:38Yeah, especially for me.
21:39Then we'll re-assemble after break.
21:42You wouldn't watch it, Erste.
21:43Terry wouldn't take the mickey out of me.
21:45He wouldn't.
21:47Don't worry, love.
21:49There's worse to come.
21:50It's staff room tea, no?
21:53Oh, I don't know.
21:54I've seen some farces in my time, you know.
21:57You just make yourselves look stupid, don't you?
22:02Absolutely stupid.
22:06Here, how long do you reckon Gobba will keep them chatting until...
22:09Oh, about a fortnight, I should think.
22:11I've got a slovenology, mind we.
22:13He ain't half a sport, though, old God.
22:15No, he's just thick, isn't he?
22:16Oh, don't, Terry.
22:18He is on our side and he ain't half taking it seriously.
22:21Well, of course he is.
22:22I told him to, didn't I?
22:24You see, Daze, that is the beauty of it.
22:26Gobba's so stupid when he's serious,
22:28it's better than telling him to muck about.
22:30Oh, I heard that!
22:31Oh, hello, mate.
22:33You ain't no mate of mine no more.
22:35No, don't, Gobba.
22:36I don't want to get into any more trouble.
22:38Oh, kill him!
22:38Yeah, yeah.
22:39You don't want to bother with him, Gobba.
22:41Have a go of Mickey Tor, eh?
22:43Eh?
22:44Thanks, Dave.
22:45Yeah, there you go, son.
22:48Mickey Tor!
22:50Oh!
23:16Yeah, there you go, son.
23:18Yeah, there you go, son.
23:22Yeah, there you go, son.
23:25Yeah, there you go, son.
23:27Yeah, there you go, son.
23:27Yeah, there you go, son.
23:27Yeah, there you go, son.
23:28Yeah, there you go, son.
23:30Yeah, there you go, son.
23:35Yeah, there you go, son.
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