- 2 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Woo!
00:00:01Che!
00:00:02Here, Kitty.
00:00:03Did you see Che?
00:00:04No, Mom.
00:00:05Che!
00:00:07How'd you go, Che?
00:00:08Go on.
00:00:08Go make new friends.
00:00:12Oh, Mom.
00:00:14I think Che relieved himself on one of your old articles last night.
00:00:19Yeah, well, he wouldn't be the first.
00:00:21Are you still bummed about the Berkeley Guardian shutting down?
00:00:23Why do you ask?
00:00:24Because you just put espresso in your wheatgrass.
00:00:27Oh.
00:00:28Ugh.
00:00:29Oops.
00:00:29Yeah, sure.
00:00:31I'm gonna miss it, but, you know, change is a good thing, honey.
00:00:35And although it's not a hotbed for advocacy journalism,
00:00:38I'm sure there's lots to write about at the Westland Hills Bugle.
00:00:42Mom, last week their lead story was about a new spray-on tanning booth at the mini mall.
00:00:47True.
00:00:47But never forget, Violet, there's oppression and injustice everywhere.
00:00:53Come on.
00:00:53Let's go.
00:01:09Oh, honey.
00:01:11I packed you a lunch.
00:01:13A little comfort food.
00:01:14Your favorites.
00:01:15Alfalfa sprouts and hemp nuts.
00:01:17Mom, they do have a cafeteria.
00:01:21So, you feel okay about your first day of school?
00:01:28You're gonna make new friends, sweetie.
00:01:34Hey, Scooby!
00:01:35Move the mystery machine!
00:01:36You're blocking my spot!
00:01:40I gotta go.
00:01:41Bye, honey.
00:01:42I love you.
00:01:42Bye!
00:01:45Woo, woo!
00:01:47Woo, woo, woo!
00:02:10Woo, woo...
00:02:14That I can depend on
00:02:16Just me, myself, and I
00:02:19I ain't got nobody
00:02:22That I can depend on
00:02:25I said me, myself, and I
00:02:27I ain't got nobody
00:02:31That I can depend on
00:02:33Just me, myself, and I
00:02:35I ain't got nobody
00:02:41What are you doing on this side of the hall?
00:02:44Walking?
00:02:45Wrong!
00:02:46This side of the hall is reserved for people who cruise in the fast lane?
00:02:51That side of the hall is reserved for the drivers who have yet to discover
00:02:55Botox, Highlight, and Rada
00:02:59So scoot, plebe
00:03:04Plebe?
00:03:05Okay, people
00:03:06Next month marks the beginning of our oral report season
00:03:10This semester, our first book is going to be Animal Farm
00:03:13George Orwell's story about the corruptive nature of power
00:03:18So let's get some dates nailed down, shall we?
00:03:22Thank you
00:03:22Okay, uh, Jenna Hardcastle
00:03:24Why don't you get us started off on October 8th?
00:03:26Okay, gotcha
00:03:27Richard Powell, you'll be utilizing your oral abilities on October 15th
00:03:32Brandon Dunn
00:03:33October 22nd
00:03:34Mmm, talk about oral abilities
00:03:37Oh, God
00:03:40October 29th
00:03:41How about you, Melinda?
00:03:43Ooh, no can do
00:03:45That's the week of my fall ball party
00:03:47I'm gonna be, like, totally swamped
00:03:49Very well, then
00:03:51How about
00:03:52Violet Jacobs?
00:03:53Oh, um, would it be okay if we could do it on another date?
00:03:58Um, that's the, uh, anniversary of my grandmother's death
00:04:01And my mom and I usually do this whole ceremony
00:04:04I'm sorry, I'm afraid you're gonna need a better excuse than that
00:04:06Oh
00:04:08Like what?
00:04:09A manicure?
00:04:18Hi, can I have some chicken, please?
00:04:19Football team's got first dibs on the KFC game day rules
00:04:31But it looks like they already have first dibs
00:04:33Not to mention second, third, and fourths
00:04:35Hey, kid
00:04:36I don't make the rules around here
00:04:38I just wear the hairnet
00:04:47Turkey coquette?
00:04:50First day, huh?
00:04:53Yeah, how'd you know?
00:04:55Because I'm the kid that you talk to on your first day of school
00:04:57Then pretend you don't know once you make your real friends
00:05:01Name's Maktar, by the way
00:05:03Although around here I'm generally referred to as Maktard
00:05:07I'm also the photographer for the Hearsider
00:05:09That's our school newspaper
00:05:10Oh, well, that must be fun
00:05:11Not really
00:05:14Well, I'm Violet
00:05:16Violet Jacobs
00:05:19Man
00:05:35So
00:05:45Cough, cough, kitty
00:05:47Keep that hairball down next time
00:05:50Dressed like that, I'd give her a love
00:05:52Okay, people
00:05:53Did you see the denim?
00:05:54Denim
00:06:03Water?
00:06:07Water
00:06:08This is flat water, you oaf
00:06:11Oh, my God!
00:06:13Melinda, what's wrong?
00:06:14Someone is sitting in my seat
00:06:23What about this sign?
00:06:25Don't you understand?
00:06:26Hey, this is the cafeteria
00:06:28You can't reserve tables
00:06:36That new girl is sitting in Melinda's seat
00:06:39That is so not okay
00:06:44This tray is so heavy
00:06:47Yeah, well, my mom just got carpal tunnel from unloading the dishwasher
00:06:51So if I were you, I'd
00:06:52Take a load off?
00:06:55Good idea
00:07:01Later
00:07:01Later
00:07:05Strict it up
00:07:05I think it's an improvement
00:07:12In case you want to file a loss
00:07:18Is that some sort of weird hazing ritual?
00:07:21No, usually after they haze you, they let you into their club
00:07:25I think this falls more under the heading of cafeteria entertainment
00:07:29With me as the featured act
00:07:35Well, I've never heard of anything so cruel
00:07:39Tomorrow morning, I am going down to that school of yours and having a talk
00:07:42Mom, I have enough people thinking I'm a freak
00:07:45I do not need you mounting one of your freedom protests to the principal's office
00:07:49Violet, you cannot just sit back and let people treat you like this
00:07:53You are a fighter, now fight
00:07:56Easy for you to say
00:07:57You didn't just have a jello cream rinse
00:07:59I have had plenty of stuff thrown at me in the name of free speech
00:08:03I promise you
00:08:06You are going to find your place
00:08:09Was there anyone there who didn't abuse you?
00:08:22Mokhtar, hey
00:08:26Mokhtar?
00:08:28Mokhtard
00:08:29Oh, hey Violet
00:08:31Hey
00:08:35So what you doing?
00:08:36Oh, I was on my way to the school paper
00:08:39You want to come?
00:08:40Sure
00:08:41But keep it between us
00:08:43Because it's like the only place around here that isn't an A-list minefield
00:09:04I can see why nobody bothers you down here
00:09:09Where are you going?
00:09:10I think I'll try to bake club
00:09:12Hi there
00:09:14I'm Cornelia
00:09:15And you are?
00:09:17This is Violet
00:09:19She's interested in joining the paper
00:09:21I am?
00:09:22Well then by definition we're interested in having her
00:09:26Come, walk with me
00:09:31I'll be the first to admit that our profile isn't exactly where it should be
00:09:35But I'm working on it
00:09:36My goal is to blanket Westland Hills High with the good name of the Hillsider
00:09:44Well you're off to a great start
00:09:46Actually, people low on back issues of this one
00:09:53Be the ham you always wanted to be
00:09:56By Violet Jacobs
00:09:58What do you think about that?
00:09:59I think you should write about what's really going on around here
00:10:01What are you talking about?
00:10:02I'm talking about the cheerleaders with their own lane in the hallway
00:10:06Football players who make everyone else go vegan on game day
00:10:10Paris Hilton wannabes who reserve tables in the cafeteria
00:10:14Violet?
00:10:15May I call you Vi?
00:10:16I'd rather you didn't
00:10:17Look Vi, I know this school may seem a bit elitist
00:10:21But we all make an effort to fit in because you just never know
00:10:25Someday it might be you and me sitting at that reserved table in the cafeteria
00:10:30Now go to it, star reporter
00:10:33With
00:10:37New Hillsider
00:10:38New Hillsider people
00:10:41Come and read the latest
00:10:44Speaking of the latest
00:10:45So how good is your first day on the beat?
00:10:47Do you have any good stories for me?
00:10:49Well, it appears as if the team mascot is allergic to his uniform
00:10:53He is sampling various anti-itch ointments as we speak
00:10:56Great
00:10:58We'll have a follow up
00:10:59What else?
00:11:00Oh, well, I looked into that long time school librarian remembers piece you suggested
00:11:06Super
00:11:06I bet she had lots to say about our school story tradition
00:11:09Actually, she's so old she's having trouble remembering what she ate for breakfast
00:11:15Here, come on
00:11:18Hey, what happened to Mokhtar?
00:11:24I'm afraid there was an incident in the boys' locker room
00:11:26Tyler Larkin borrowed his turban and used it as a rat tail
00:11:31Ow, how can he get away with this?
00:11:33He's the star quarterback, bye
00:11:46Thanks
00:11:46I'd steer clear of that one if I were you
00:11:48Word is, he's been through the entire female student body quicker than a Tijuana burrito
00:11:54Oh, there's our school president, Mike Davis
00:11:58Go get a sound bite
00:11:59Oh
00:11:59Um, excuse me, Mike
00:12:01Uh, Violet Jacobs from the Hillsider
00:12:03I was wondering, would you care to elaborate on the No Freshmen Left Behind program?
00:12:09I'm sorry, who'd you say you work for again?
00:12:13The Hillsider
00:12:15You know, the school newspaper
00:12:18I didn't know we had a school paper
00:12:20Oh, well
00:12:27Hillsider
00:12:30Brand new issues
00:12:31Hillsider
00:12:32Can I have one of those?
00:12:37Wait, Melinda, come on
00:12:41Much better
00:12:44I'm sure I can fit into those alligator chats now
00:12:54Oh, my God
00:12:55It absorbed the whole thing?
00:12:59Breaking news, everyone
00:13:01Four out of five soccer moms prefer school newspaper to bounty and drift test
00:13:17I will make this paper a success
00:13:19If it's the last thing I do
00:13:21Cullen
00:13:21Don't let those jerks get to you
00:13:23Easy for you to say
00:13:24You're the new girl
00:13:25You just have to get through your senior year here
00:13:27I've spent my entire life being laughed at by these stuck-up jerks
00:13:33Well, I'm not laughing at you
00:13:36No
00:13:37You're not
00:13:39Are you?
00:13:42Cornelia Nixon
00:13:43Please report to the principal's office
00:13:46Cornelia Nixon
00:13:47Did you hear that?
00:13:48The principal wants to see me
00:13:50I bet he wants to talk about giving us a hand with the Hillsider
00:13:53Come on
00:13:58You want to see me, sir?
00:14:00You are?
00:14:01Cornelia Nixon, sir
00:14:02Editor-in-chief of the Hillsider
00:14:05Our school newspaper
00:14:07Oh, right
00:14:08Please
00:14:08Have a seat
00:14:11Well, it gets straight to the point
00:14:13As you know, we all take great pride in our athletic program here at Westland Hills
00:14:17Speaking of which, is there any possibility that you could release the KFC to the general population on game days?
00:14:25Football players need protein and iron, girls
00:14:27That's what makes them such a force to be reckoned with on the field
00:14:30Oh, I guess it has nothing to do with the steroid shakes they washed all down with
00:14:38Principal Glavin
00:14:39Just wanted to remind you about your nooner with Ms. Davies at the PTA
00:14:43You mean my noon appointment?
00:14:46Sorry
00:14:47Tell her I'm on my way
00:14:52You were saying, sir
00:14:54Oh, we've been meaning to give the girls a training facility equal to that of the boys
00:14:59Problem is, that takes money
00:15:02The bottom line is, we've got to cut back
00:15:04And the school newspaper seemed like a good place to start
00:15:09I must admit, that's not quite what I was expecting to hear
00:15:13But, um, my staff and I can roll with the punches
00:15:16We'll tighten our belts, that's all
00:15:19Actually, there won't be any staff
00:15:22But I don't get it
00:15:23If there's no staff, then how are we supposed to publish?
00:15:28Korn, I think he means he's shutting down the paper
00:15:31Shutting down the paper?
00:15:32Shutting down the paper?
00:15:48No more Hill Cider?
00:15:49I can't believe it
00:15:50What am I going to do?
00:15:51Well, there's always debate club
00:15:53There is no debate club at Westland Hills High
00:15:56There's no debate, period
00:15:57If you're not the A-list, you just have to shut up and take whatever bitter medicine they make you
00:16:01swallow
00:16:03Violet, you didn't see Che, did you?
00:16:05Last time I saw him, he was in one of your boxes
00:16:08Oh, oh, okay
00:16:10Hi
00:16:11Mom, this is my friend and former editor, Cornelia Nixon
00:16:14Cornelia, Naomi Jacobs
00:16:17Naomi Jacobs?
00:16:19As in the reporter?
00:16:21Oh my god, I'm like your biggest fan
00:16:23Oh, well, I didn't know anyone read the Berkeley Guardian around here
00:16:28Actually, I was talking about the Westland Hills Bugle
00:16:32That story on the new traffic light you wrote the other day was first rate
00:16:37Well, gee, thanks
00:16:39So, what are you guys doing?
00:16:42School shut us down
00:16:45Why?
00:16:46Funding
00:16:46Oh, I am so sorry to hear that
00:16:49Whenever the press is silenced, it is a sad day for democracy
00:16:54Yeah, well, Mom, the school isn't a democracy
00:16:56It's more like a monarchy with homecoming kings and queens
00:17:05What do you think you're doing?
00:17:09Sitting down, not in my seat
00:17:16You know, Logan's gonna be out of town this weekend
00:17:20What?
00:17:21Another male Brazilian wax convention?
00:17:26Oral guy just cracks me up
00:17:33Violet, Cornelia, come quick
00:17:34You need to check this out
00:17:38Equal training facility, my ass
00:17:41They turned our office into a day spa
00:17:43Are you gonna do this all day?
00:17:45Are you actually gonna polish it?
00:17:46I don't get it
00:17:46Why would Principal Glavin lie to us like that?
00:17:49Because Stacy's and Lacey's parents probably pay for his golf lessons
00:17:54Face it, Corn, some people matter around here
00:17:58And some people just flat out don't
00:18:02Let's go to my place
00:18:04I could use a drink
00:18:09My dad's a totally successful plastic surgeon
00:18:12He's worked on almost every girl in town
00:18:15He jokes Westland Hills didn't even have hills before he started practicing
00:18:20Egg cream?
00:18:21They're sort of a guilty pleasure of mine
00:18:23No thanks
00:18:25Talk about guilty pleasures
00:18:28Oh yeah
00:18:28My mom loves those things
00:18:31I must admit
00:18:32They are great at nailing those celebs that walk around all day like this is their world
00:18:36And the rest of us just rent space in it
00:18:39Why does that sound so familiar?
00:18:40Oh yeah
00:18:41I go to Westland Hills High
00:18:45The governor spins world wide web of deceit and pornography from office in Capitol Building
00:18:50Didn't you tell me that the school treasurer blew last year's budget on that lap dance webcam site?
00:18:56The lap cam I think it was called?
00:18:58Yeah, so?
00:19:00Pop diva's cup runneth over
00:19:02Breast reduction surgery leaves one bigger than the other
00:19:05You think that's bad?
00:19:06I saw this nose job casualty in the hallway
00:19:08Whose nostrils looked like semicolons
00:19:11Okay, I'm losing you here, Vi
00:19:12What's your point?
00:19:14My point is
00:19:15Stacy
00:19:16Lacey
00:19:17Brett
00:19:18Melinda
00:19:19And all those A-list kids
00:19:20They're just like celebs
00:19:23And how do you bring celebs down?
00:19:29Let's do it
00:19:29Let's start our own tabloid
00:19:33A high school tabloid?
00:19:36Hello, it's perfect
00:19:38What better way to rid our school of the creeps who make our lives a living hell?
00:19:42Who take away our paper
00:19:43And turn our office into their own personal day spa with the school of money no less
00:19:48You know what, it's like what I said
00:19:50We should write about what's really going on at Westland Hills High
00:19:54Let's expose all their embarrassing little secrets
00:19:57Vi
00:19:57Yeah?
00:19:58You had me at
00:19:59Hello
00:20:05What is all this stuff?
00:20:07Surveillance equipment
00:20:07All the celebrity gossip rags use it
00:20:09Here, take a look
00:20:11I can't see anything
00:20:16Infrared goggles for night work, silly
00:20:19Walkie talkie
00:20:20Never go out of style
00:20:22Hey, I think we should call ourselves the Tattler
00:20:25Inquiring teenage minds wanna know
00:20:28What do you think?
00:20:29Love it
00:20:30Now, we're just missing one thing
00:20:32What?
00:20:33Scoops
00:20:35There you go
00:20:38This is not gonna be easy
00:20:39I've seen my mom when she goes into investigator mode
00:20:42You need sources, leaks, information, any way that you can get it
00:20:46Now, we're not friends with these people
00:20:49And we don't go to their parties
00:20:51Oh, and I draw the line when it comes to going through other people's garbage
00:20:55Bad ethics?
00:20:56Weak stomach
00:20:58No friends, no parties, no garbage
00:21:03Yep, we've definitely got our work cut out for us
00:21:06Hey, hey, Ethler Alden
00:21:09Those acid wash high risers must be just perfect for like a, you know, a late night border crossing or
00:21:15something
00:21:15Where did you get them?
00:21:17Come on, girl, you must give us the skinny
00:21:19Oh, no, I did not just say that
00:21:22I didn't
00:21:25God, he is so cruel
00:21:27Tell me about it
00:21:28Brett and his well-dressed buds are Westland Hills answers to the fab five
00:21:32Nothing escapes their clear eye
00:21:34I've known plenty of gay guys and they're not like that
00:21:37I mean, he's worse than Joan Rivers on a red carpet
00:21:41This school tends to bring out the worst in its social groups
00:21:44The fact is, gay is way in and Brett milks it for all it's worth
00:21:50Esmeralda, make sure to clean my locker, por favor
00:21:58He makes her clean his locker?
00:22:00If there was ever a candidate for the tattler, it's him
00:22:10You don't think there's any well-dressed skeletons in his closet, do you?
00:22:20When I give you the signal?
00:22:22Let her rip
00:22:27What?
00:22:30All students, please proceed in this early fashion
00:22:34Designated assembly points in the school parking lot
00:22:39Make a call
00:22:40Come on
00:22:41We are meeting the teachers at the designated
00:22:46Horrors are so gross
00:22:47Totally
00:22:48I'm gonna have mine removed
00:22:49Along with what's left of your brain
00:22:54Hey, Esmeralda
00:22:55You got a sec?
00:22:58Sorry, it's a little messy
00:22:59I'm supposed to clean it tomorrow
00:23:00Oh, that's okay
00:23:01Thanks for helping us
00:23:03Oh
00:23:05Oh my
00:23:06Oh
00:23:07Okay
00:23:11Tacky, that's hardly a skeleton
00:23:12Wait a sec
00:23:14So?
00:23:15So?
00:23:16People keep their entire lives on these things
00:23:18It's worth a quick search
00:23:19Just as long as you keep it quick
00:23:20Remember, you've only got 20 minutes
00:23:22Why 20 minutes?
00:23:23That's when tennis practice ends
00:23:24I'll stay on guard outside
00:23:25When I see Brett coming back from the tennis courts
00:23:26I'll give you a heads up
00:23:28Roger
00:23:28Roger
00:23:45Password protected
00:23:46It figures
00:23:47How much time do we have?
00:23:48Eleven minutes
00:23:49Oh, think, guys
00:23:50You've known him longer than I have
00:23:51Okay, I'm thinking, I'm thinking
00:23:53Um, let's see, uh
00:23:54Birthday pet names
00:23:56He did used to have a little chihuahua
00:23:57What'd he call it again?
00:23:59Isaac?
00:24:00As in Mizrahi?
00:24:03Nothing doing
00:24:04Nothing doing
00:24:15Oh
00:24:17He is looking so
00:24:18Roddick
00:24:20Today
00:24:21I must get my camera and record the moment
00:24:27Okay, try Esther
00:24:29Madonna's cabal on it
00:24:33Peacock!
00:24:44The peacock has landed
00:24:45I repeat
00:24:46The peacock has landed
00:24:48Over
00:24:49That was Cornelia
00:24:51Brett's on his way
00:24:51Find anything yet?
00:24:54Manicure appointments
00:24:55Facials
00:24:55Nothing unexpected
00:24:56What's that?
00:24:57Call Sam
00:24:58555-0125
00:24:59Breakup
00:25:026 p.m. Friday?
00:25:03That's last week
00:25:04You know what they say
00:25:05Hell hath no fury like the wrath of a fabulous ex-boyfriend
00:25:07Thanks again, Esmeralda
00:25:09My pleasure
00:25:13Oh, hey
00:25:14Whatever you guys were planning to do to Brett
00:25:17Make it good
00:25:23I'll clean Brett
00:25:24That's your Brett to you
00:25:26And weren't you supposed to clean it tomorrow?
00:25:29It needed it today
00:25:30Your spandex thongs were getting kinda musty
00:25:45Come on, come on, come on, come on
00:25:48Did you call Sam?
00:25:49Yeah, but I got one of those computerized messages telling me to leave a callback number so I left your
00:25:53cell phone number
00:25:55Why not yours?
00:25:55Well, my mom won't let me have one
00:25:57She thinks they create institutionalized ADD
00:26:05Hello?
00:26:07Yes
00:26:09Sam?
00:26:11Yes
00:26:12Would love to meet you
00:26:15Frijoli's restaurant?
00:26:16That's the one by the outlet center, right?
00:26:19Great
00:26:20We'll see you then
00:26:23You are not going to believe this
00:26:26What?
00:26:27Sam
00:26:27Is
00:26:29Guy pops in three times a week, easy
00:26:32Drops a few charm bombs, flashes some cash
00:26:35Last six months alone, he's hooked up with half the waitstaff
00:26:40By that you mean women and men
00:26:43Are you kidding?
00:26:44That boy's as straight as a Raiders fan in a barga lounger
00:26:47What a dupe I was, falling for all his promises
00:26:52What kind of promises?
00:26:55Nah, it's too embarrassing
00:26:58He said he'd make me a model
00:27:00I got a PDA full of pictures
00:27:02You wanna see?
00:27:04Are any of them of the two of you?
00:27:06Sure
00:27:07Except it's sorta hard to tell
00:27:09There are only a few shots with his head above the sheets
00:27:14We finally have our scoop!
00:27:17Sam, one day morning
00:27:18That boy is getting
00:27:20The end!
00:27:22The end!
00:27:24The end!
00:27:24The end!
00:27:24The end!
00:27:25The end!
00:27:29The end!
00:27:41Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
00:27:45The end!
00:27:48Maybe it's true what they say about our generation.
00:27:51Maybe we just don't read.
00:27:55Or can't.
00:28:05Oh. My. God!
00:28:21Oh. My. God.
00:29:07How could you do this to us?
00:29:09I never would have come out of the closet and alienated my parents if it weren't for you.
00:29:13Tell me about it.
00:29:14I gave up a sob for my 16th birthday.
00:29:19Would you mind explaining the meaning of all this bad opera?
00:29:25Read it and pretend to weep, you faux pansy.
00:29:33I have just one question.
00:29:36Why, Brett? Why?
00:29:41All right, I'll tell you why.
00:29:43Because I suck at sports.
00:29:45I couldn't give a crap about grades.
00:29:46And my mom's a freaking dental hygienist who raised me in a tract house with shag carpeting.
00:29:50Oh, it gets uglier by the second.
00:29:53So, yeah. I had to find some way to stand out around here.
00:29:57Because being a nice middle-class kid with good fashion sense just wasn't gonna cut it.
00:30:02So, I had to become...
00:30:04Don't even utter the G word around us.
00:30:07Speaking of G words, you're gone, Buster.
00:30:12From now on, we're the Fab Four.
00:30:21Oh, yeah?
00:30:22Well, I can still wear an Armani pullover better than any of you!
00:30:25Oh, whatever!
00:30:44Hello?
00:30:48I think we should tell everyone that we're the geniuses behind the tablet.
00:30:51Are you crazy?
00:30:52That goes against everything we're trying to accomplish here.
00:30:56How can you be a fly on the wall when everyone knows you're buzzing around?
00:31:00Way to go, ladies.
00:31:02How'd you know it was us?
00:31:04Cornelia, I always knew behind that rah-rah facade of yours
00:31:07beat the heart of a true gorilla journalist.
00:31:09See? That's what I was just saying.
00:31:11Plus, my buddy at the PC store told me your dad dropped two grand on a killer desktop publishing system.
00:31:16What do you want, Mokhtar?
00:31:20To offer my services.
00:31:22Can't have a tabloid with that paparazzi.
00:31:27You're hired.
00:31:28Consider yourself the official eyes of the tabloid.
00:31:31Thank you, Violet.
00:31:33Well, off to work I go.
00:31:36We've definitely whet their appetites by.
00:31:53Careful.
00:31:54Another step or two, you'll be walking on the wrong side of the hall.
00:31:58Excuse me?
00:32:00Just kidding.
00:32:01I don't buy into any of that A-list nonsense.
00:32:04Apparently, neither do you.
00:32:06Very healthy attitude for a new girl.
00:32:09Seriously, that Orwell crack to Melinda in Mr. Hackett's class the other day.
00:32:14Classic.
00:32:18I'm Brandon, by the way.
00:32:20Violet.
00:32:22But, obviously not a shrinking one.
00:32:27So, wanna talk dates?
00:32:30Dates?
00:32:31As in English class?
00:32:33For our oral reports, I remember you saying something about your grandmother?
00:32:37Yeah, right. Yeah.
00:32:39Well, I was thinking that I'd switch dates with you if you want.
00:32:42I'll take yours, you take mine.
00:32:44That would be great. Thanks.
00:32:46Cool.
00:32:53Uh, well...
00:32:56I've got some reading to do.
00:33:03It's that time of year again, people!
00:33:06Fall ball time!
00:33:18Logan, care to shake out your branches?
00:33:25The invite, you cretin!
00:33:26Oh!
00:33:27Sorry, Melinda.
00:33:28Now, now, before everyone gets their hopes up, let me just say that, unfortunately, a wing of Melinda Land is
00:33:34currently under renovation, so my parental advisors are making me keep the guest list a little shorter than usual this
00:33:40year.
00:33:40Oh!
00:33:43Sorry!
00:33:45Okay.
00:33:46Come and get them!
00:33:48Who's coming?
00:33:49See you there!
00:33:50Come dressed and fresh and ready to impress!
00:33:53Ready to impress, not for you.
00:33:54We've got to find a way to get into that party.
00:33:56How?
00:33:57That's the most exclusive A-list invite all year!
00:33:59Maybe the Hardys are petri dishes for gossip, and the fall ball probably has the mother-load of all A
00:34:05-list scoops just waiting to be dug up.
00:34:08Woo!
00:34:09Woo!
00:34:09See you there!
00:34:11Woo!
00:34:11Thank you!
00:34:14Well, at the moment, Melinda's leaves don't seem to be falling in our direction.
00:34:20True, but you never know when the winds will shift.
00:34:23Come here, Mel.
00:34:25Ooh!
00:34:26What are you doing?
00:34:27What are you doing?
00:34:28Got a little black thread.
00:34:30So friendly for fall.
00:34:35From the wrong side of the hall to the hottest party of the year!
00:34:38And all it took was a few clicks on the road shop!
00:34:40It's our first A-list party!
00:34:41This is something I'll be able to tell my children about someday!
00:34:44Wait, what are we doing?
00:34:46This is simply for scoops.
00:34:48You're right.
00:34:49This is purely professional.
00:34:50See you tonight!
00:34:51Where are you going?
00:34:52To buy a killer outfit, silly!
00:34:55What am I going to wear?
00:34:57Violet!
00:34:58Look what I rented for tonight, your favorite.
00:35:01JFK.
00:35:02Actually, I am going out tonight.
00:35:04Wow.
00:35:06This is front page news.
00:35:08It's just a party.
00:35:09But honey, you've come a long way from the days of Jell-O highlights.
00:35:14You know, I'd be glad to take you.
00:35:16Oh, Mom, no offense.
00:35:17But I think if I show up in the Scooby Mobile, it would pretty much put the kibosh on my
00:35:21social life.
00:35:22Besides, Cornelia has offered to give me a lift.
00:35:25You and this Cornelia are really becoming quite the team, aren't you?
00:35:29Yeah, Mom.
00:35:31Are those your investigative antenna I see twitching above your head?
00:35:34I am just happy that you found a friend.
00:35:37Especially one on the school paper.
00:35:39It's a shame you girls have nothing to work on now.
00:35:44What can you do?
00:36:06I can barely walk in these things.
00:36:13Hey, Pee Wee Herman called. He wants his shoes back.
00:36:16Should have worn the bad mini dress.
00:36:28Okay, let's put up.
00:36:31I'll work the dance floor and you can take the patio.
00:36:34Mind if I mingle for a bit first?
00:36:37Come on, Vi, this is the biggest stash of my life.
00:36:40One, two, oh, before I forget.
00:36:44What's this for?
00:36:45I'm afraid you're going to have to double as a staff photographer for the night.
00:36:48Mozart freaked when he heard Tyler was working the front door.
00:36:53Oh, yeah!
00:36:56Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
00:36:58Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
00:37:00Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
00:37:10Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Yeah? Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh,
00:37:20mom! Oh, yeah! Oh, my god. Did someone just throw up on us?
00:37:27I guess that makes us even after the cafeteria.
00:37:31Believe me, you will never be even with us.
00:37:36Never!
00:37:38Practicing our phonics, ladies.
00:37:40Don't get me wrong, it's a really great way to build your foe, cab.
00:37:44Maybe even bust it into the double digits.
00:37:47Cuteness isn't an excuse for rudeness, poster boy.
00:37:51Check it out, the football players are about to light the pool on fire!
00:37:56Someday, archaeologists will find the missing link, and it will be wearing a cheerleader skirt.
00:38:00Still clutching onto a fossilized pom-pom, no doubt.
00:38:16The good news is they're easily distracted.
00:38:22So, I didn't expect to see a rebel like you at Melinda's fall soiree.
00:38:26Yeah, well, sort of a long story.
00:38:30Or a long lie, I should say.
00:38:34Not important.
00:38:35What is important is that I get to spend my Friday night with you.
00:38:42Beats hanging out at the house, watching my dad play 31 flavors with his dates.
00:38:48One was actually a senior when I was a freshman.
00:38:51My mom's single too.
00:38:53Sometimes I feel like I'm being raised by my older sister.
00:38:58So, you don't really seem to be this total boy toy on the make like they say you are.
00:39:02Who says that?
00:39:04Everyone.
00:39:05Sometimes I really hate this school.
00:39:07Oh!
00:39:11Please, I haven't seen a dance like that since...
00:39:13The Breakfast Club.
00:39:15Get out.
00:39:16You like that movie too?
00:39:17It's comfort food.
00:39:20So, what are you doing at a party like this?
00:39:24Hmm.
00:39:27Why don't I give you all the juicy details when you come back from getting us a couple drinks?
00:39:32Good idea.
00:39:39What am I doing?
00:39:41I was just wondering the exact same thing.
00:39:44First, you clap a squat at my cafeteria table.
00:39:46Then you muscle in on my chair in English class.
00:39:49And now this little home invasion.
00:39:51If you weren't so unique and pathetic, I'd add you to my list of potential stalkers.
00:39:56Tyler!
00:39:58Care to show our uninvited guest to the door?
00:40:00Can I just say goodbye to a friend of mine?
00:40:04You have no friends here.
00:40:07Get your hands off of me.
00:40:09Do you know how many hours of sensitivity training you're looking at, Buster?
00:40:12I've already been quite.
00:40:13Oh!
00:40:15Oh!
00:40:18Oh!
00:40:26Come on, guys.
00:40:28Seriously.
00:40:29Come on!
00:40:30Would you please get off?
00:40:34Later!
00:40:43Hey, join the club!
00:40:46Logan.
00:40:47What are you doing out here?
00:40:49Same thing as you.
00:40:50I'm in exile from Melinda Land.
00:40:52What happened?
00:40:54I forgot to pick up the special leaf-shaped hors d'oeuvres platters.
00:40:58So Cruella had to use her mom's expensive china.
00:41:01Big deal.
00:41:02You know, what's gonna happen?
00:41:03Oh, my God!
00:41:06Okay, so I screwed up.
00:41:07But still, that is no excuse for Melinda to treat me like some kind of...
00:41:11Whipping boy.
00:41:12Thank you!
00:41:13I'm so sick and tired of...
00:41:16Cleaning up after her spilt bottled water.
00:41:19I swear, if she doesn't start showing me a little appreciation...
00:41:23What?
00:41:30Nothing.
00:41:31No, come on.
00:41:31You can tell me.
00:41:33Really?
00:41:35Why is that?
00:41:37Well, because I'm...
00:41:38I'm the new girl.
00:41:39Who could I possibly tell?
00:41:43Seriously, Logan.
00:41:44I think you need to get this off your chest.
00:41:46And what better way to vent than to a...
00:41:49Faceless, nameless plebe, like me.
00:41:52Well, I guess it beats seeing a shrink.
00:41:54Yeah, and you don't want to start taking those antidepressants.
00:41:57Book care of your sex drive.
00:41:58I've...
00:42:02Follow me.
00:42:05I've never told this to anyone before.
00:42:07So you gotta promise to stay between us.
00:42:14I promise.
00:42:23Weston Hills self-proclaimed glamour girl, Melinda Thompson...
00:42:27Burns with the secret desire to be the queen of the trailer park.
00:42:30Sources tell Tattler that the Belle of the Fall Ball...
00:42:33Is battling a spiraling addiction to Shopmart.
00:42:37Where she purchases almost all of what a trusted member of Thompson's inner circle...
00:42:41Described as her mega discounted wardrobe of shame...
00:42:45Buried deep in the darkened recesses of Thompson's garage...
00:42:49In a box deceptively marked gold jewelry and dire dough...
00:42:53Is shocking polyester proof of what a battery of psychiatrists...
00:42:58High-end stylists...
00:43:00And two very concerned parents...
00:43:03Were no longer able to hide...
00:43:06Melinda's raging trailer park halter ego...
00:43:10Betty Jo Linda!
00:43:17Bravo, Vi. Your best work yet.
00:43:19What? This can't be happening.
00:43:22How dare you? This is my table. You can't just sit here.
00:43:36I don't want to die.
00:43:41Did you just see that?
00:43:42Melinda let a plea take her table!
00:43:44That is like so against the rules.
00:43:47Melinda!
00:43:49Melinda, wait!
00:43:51Come on!
00:43:53This is troubling.
00:43:54But for now...
00:43:56I say we play it cool.
00:43:58It'd be impossible for us to play it anything but...
00:44:01I think it's starting to work, Corinne.
00:44:03I think we're actually starting to make this school a better place.
00:44:07Girl...
00:44:07I think we're starting to find our place.
00:44:12Shut up.
00:44:33You said Principal Glavin shut down the school paper.
00:44:37Uh, yeah.
00:44:39Yeah.
00:44:40That's the Wall Street Journal.
00:44:44Seriously, you wouldn't believe how many kids around here play the market.
00:44:53Anyway, gotta go.
00:44:55Gotta go.
00:45:03Violet...
00:45:04Do you have something to tell me?
00:45:07Like, why that cute boy over there has been staring at you?
00:45:20No comment.
00:45:25No comment.
00:45:25No comment.
00:45:28Hey.
00:45:29What happened to you the other night at Melinda's party?
00:45:31You just vanished.
00:45:33Oh.
00:45:34Well, um, the friend who was giving me a lift had a pretty strict curfew, so we had to split.
00:45:41Well, you should have told me. I could have given you a ride home.
00:45:45Next time, I guess.
00:45:47Well, speaking of which, I was thinking that we could take a break from the party circuit and just hang
00:45:52you and me.
00:45:54Uh, grab a pizza, watch a movie, maybe make it a double feature, depending on your curfew, naturally.
00:46:00Mm-hmm. That would be...
00:46:03Great.
00:46:04It's a date.
00:46:06Cool.
00:46:08Okay.
00:46:09Well, um, see you in class.
00:46:13Yeah, see ya.
00:46:16Melinda.
00:46:19How could you?
00:46:20You promised me you wouldn't tell anybody about Melinda.
00:46:24Look, I'm sorry, but...
00:46:25Oh, you're sorry!
00:46:26I just lost the only woman I've ever loved!
00:46:30I mean, sure, Melinda bullied me around sometimes and took me for granted and flirted with other guys right in
00:46:35front of me.
00:46:37Even slept with one or two.
00:46:39You know, but that's what made us such a mature couple.
00:46:43Well, now that I know you're behind the tattler, you're not gonna be the only...
00:46:47...tattler around here.
00:46:53Logan knows it's us, Corinne. He can blow our cover like that.
00:46:56I got a newsflash for you. Our cover's already blown.
00:46:59What are you talking about?
00:47:00Brett got to Esmeralda and made her fess up that it was us who broke into his PDA.
00:47:04When she told me what happened, I had no choice but to start telling people that we were behind the
00:47:09tattler.
00:47:10Better to hear from me than from Brett.
00:47:12But, Corinne, without our cover...
00:47:13Without our cover what?
00:47:16The tattler is making the school a better place.
00:47:18I mean, you even said it yourself.
00:47:20For God's sake, Vi, I think it's time to come out of the closet.
00:47:31Get your tattler here.
00:47:34All the dirt that fits the print.
00:48:04Thank you all!
00:48:06I'd also like to thank my father, who, instead of investing in new liposuction technology, decided instead to buy his
00:48:14daughter a new state-of-the-art desktop publishing system.
00:48:18Wow, wow!
00:48:19This is from Peach News.
00:48:21Former dorkettes have moment of glory in cash.
00:48:24Moment being the key word here.
00:48:26You might have gotten lucky digging up some dirt on Brett and Melinda, but if you even think that you
00:48:32are taking all of this down, then you are more clueless than that freak who thought everyone wanted to read
00:48:37the school newspaper.
00:48:39Yeah, like, whatever happened to her anyway?
00:48:41I don't know.
00:48:46Now, get out of my way.
00:48:49I'm late for a facial.
00:48:50Why not start with a meat pack?
00:48:56Oh!
00:49:03This isn't over!
00:49:11I eat people like you for lunch! Melinda is my princess!
00:49:16Yes, Mr. Thompson, I-I realize how humiliating this must be for you and Melinda.
00:49:24Sir, I-I-I don't think that litigation or personal threats will solve anything.
00:49:29I-I-Trust me, sir, I will find out who is behind this, and when I do,
00:49:37they will feel my wrath.
00:49:40Did you really think you were gonna get away with this?
00:49:44We think the students deserve a school newspaper.
00:49:48Especially after you got rid of our last one to make room for club cheerleader.
00:49:52That is an equal opportunity athletic training facility, young lady, and don't you forget it.
00:49:56When you say potato.
00:49:58I say, I see one more copy of that in my school, then both of you will be looking at
00:50:03immediate expulsion!
00:50:07Oh, darn, I love that Potter.
00:50:10Principal Glavin, Miss Jenkins of the PTA is ready for your appointment.
00:50:15Thank you!
00:50:28I can't believe this is the end of the tatler!
00:50:31No, maybe not.
00:50:32I have a hunch that there is a headline lurking in the principal's office,
00:50:35and it starts with the letters P-T-A.
00:50:38We already pulled that trick with Brett.
00:50:40P-T-A, not P-D-A.
00:50:42I have to figure out a way to get into that office.
00:50:54Have a good evening, sir.
00:50:56I'm sure I will.
00:51:04Excuse me?
00:51:05I'm sorry, sir. I'm sorry.
00:51:19Smells of owed to PTA to me.
00:51:25Can anyone tell me what the pigs represent in Orwell's allegory?
00:51:29Tyler.
00:51:30Yeah, livestock.
00:51:32Does anyone have a slightly less literal meaning?
00:51:37Violets.
00:51:39Oh, um, in the power struggle between the animals.
00:51:43I think that Orwell saw the pigs as, um...
00:51:46Go ahead.
00:51:53Does anyone else have anything to add to that?
00:51:55Jared.
00:51:56Breaking into my office, stealing personal property, blackmail!
00:52:00I have never dealt with such insubordination from a student before.
00:52:03You forgot impersonating a member of the janitorial staff.
00:52:06I could have you booted out of here so fast it would make your head spin.
00:52:10Not as fast as yours.
00:52:11That thing is in your hands now, but it could be in the hands of every student in this school
00:52:16by noon.
00:52:17Bar is the preferred term around here, nooner.
00:52:22Okay.
00:52:24Name your price for keeping this out of circulation.
00:52:27Hmm.
00:52:29You could start by giving us our office back.
00:52:33Where are all the freshmen?
00:52:35I have a three o'clock foil and thrust.
00:52:39What goes around here?
00:52:40Actually, we thought we'd start with you.
00:52:42You heard her, ladies.
00:52:44Your spa membership is up.
00:52:45Says who?
00:52:46Our principal.
00:52:47That's ridiculous.
00:52:48We've had him in our pockets since freshman year.
00:52:51Well, trust me.
00:52:53His two hour free lunches are over.
00:52:58She's so...
00:53:01It's our time now, Vi.
00:53:04Can't you just feel it?
00:53:05Feel what?
00:53:06The power.
00:53:08Our office back.
00:53:10The principal Glavin's threat defused.
00:53:12Stacy and Lacey frantically searching for hair foils.
00:53:15It's all starting to come together.
00:53:17Yeah.
00:53:18Maybe this will finally be like a normal high school.
00:53:22There's no such thing as a normal high school, Violet.
00:53:25Don't you get it?
00:53:26It's just like the world out there.
00:53:28Only the strong survive.
00:53:31You're starting to weird me out a bit here, Corn.
00:53:34The names?
00:53:37Cornelia.
00:53:39Okay, people, dish away.
00:53:41What have we got for the new issue?
00:53:42Big SAT scandal.
00:53:44Half the seniors bought exams over the internet.
00:53:47Boring.
00:53:48Everyone cheats nowadays.
00:53:49It's not outright theft.
00:53:50It's having a shrink diagnose you with ADD so you can take them untimed.
00:53:55Okay, what else have we got?
00:53:57I'd like to propose a photo essay on Tyler Larkin's insufficient, um, manhood.
00:54:03I had a camera rigged in the boys' locker room, complete with much needed telephoto lens.
00:54:07Can we tie it into steroid abuse?
00:54:09Actually, I think the guy's clean.
00:54:11He just happens to be a little light in the athletic protector.
00:54:15Let's hold out for any sign of needles.
00:54:18If you can't find any, plant some.
00:54:21Is that ethical?
00:54:23I mean, I think the guy's a jerk, but I don't know if we should...
00:54:26We're a tabloid, Mokhtar.
00:54:29You want to print pretty photos of anatomical parts, contact National Geographic.
00:54:34That's right.
00:54:35Anything else?
00:54:36How about a follow-up on Brett?
00:54:38Where is he now?
00:54:39Answer?
00:54:41Nowhere.
00:54:45You're 20 minutes late.
00:54:47Next time, I'll bring a note.
00:54:52Listen, people.
00:54:53We have to stay on the offensive.
00:54:56We may have won a few skirmishes with the A-listers,
00:54:58but I've known Stacy and Lacey since they were in saddle shoes,
00:55:01and believe me, they are not about to go down without a fight.
00:55:05In fact, there's a rumor going around that they're about to rally the troops.
00:55:13Every A-lister in school.
00:55:19Hello?
00:55:20Are you with us?
00:55:22Yeah.
00:55:22Why?
00:55:23Because if it's true, I need you to slip back into dirt-gathering mode.
00:55:27They are going down!
00:55:33I know we have to get more scoops, but don't-
00:55:36Violet, can I ask you something?
00:55:39You want your perfect, clickless high school?
00:55:43Your cafeteria with festival seatings?
00:55:45Your laneless hallways?
00:55:49Yes.
00:55:50Well, then put away your bleeding heart and get to work!
00:55:59Let's go, people!
00:56:00Let's go, people!
00:56:12Hey, what's up?
00:56:14Kind of what I was wondering.
00:56:16I've left you a couple messages.
00:56:18Remember Pizza Double Feature?
00:56:21I've got a big match on Friday.
00:56:23You know how it is.
00:56:27Actually, I had no idea you were behind that gossip rag.
00:56:30That has nothing to do with us.
00:56:32Come on, Violet.
00:56:34Nobody's been through the rumor mill around here more than me.
00:56:37I would never write anything bad about you.
00:56:40You know, when I first saw you in class,
00:56:44I thought you were above this place.
00:56:47But I was wrong.
00:56:49You are more than happy to sink to its level.
00:56:51I'm wrong.
00:56:53I'm wrong.
00:57:05I'm wrong.
00:57:06I'm wrong.
00:57:09I'm wrong.
00:57:10I'm wrong.
00:57:11You're wrong.
00:57:11You're wrong.
00:57:13You're wrong.
00:57:13We have a responsibility here, people.
00:57:16Not only to Wesleyan Hills High,
00:57:18but to high schools everywhere.
00:57:19If this place falls to the plebs, who knows what school could be next?
00:57:25I'm just curious, but how exactly are we going to win this school back?
00:57:28Good question.
00:57:31Stacey, Lacey and I have put our heads together.
00:57:34Thus forming almost one whole brain.
00:57:37Sorry, old habit.
00:57:39Anyways, like I said, we've been doing some thinking and...
00:57:44And we were kind of hoping you guys had some ideas.
00:57:55I got it!
00:57:57You didn't get it from me, that's for sure.
00:57:59My dad is in PR, and whenever one of his celebrity clients needs an image boost,
00:58:04he'll do this thing where he gives back a little to the community.
00:58:08Uh, what do you mean, give back?
00:58:11You know, hang out with the little people, visit some dying kids.
00:58:15My dad calls it sprinkling around the stardust.
00:58:20So you're saying we're like stars here?
00:58:22Yeah!
00:58:24I am a star!
00:58:26I say we reach out to the little people and make them love us again.
00:58:32I like it.
00:58:33I mean, there's definitely a yuck factor involved, but it's good.
00:58:38Really good.
00:58:41Really good.
00:58:42Really good.
00:58:54Hi, how about trying one of these on for size?
00:58:57You know, so you can practice being a queen for a day.
00:59:02Hi, how would you like to practice being a queen for a day?
00:59:06Hi, you're so pretty.
00:59:08Talk about manipulative.
00:59:10Yeah, it's like when those drug dealers hand out turkeys on Thanksgiving.
00:59:14We have to nail them by.
00:59:16It's the head of the beast.
00:59:18If Stacy and Lacey win everyone back,
00:59:20the kids will start treating the tattler
00:59:22the same way they used to treat the hillside.
00:59:41Oh, it's only you.
00:59:43In that case, shove off.
00:59:49Can you believe that, please?
00:59:52Delusha.
00:59:57Okay, Delusha, what the hell are you
00:59:59and why are you so important to Cranium Challenge cheerleaders?
01:00:02Looking to drop some water weight?
01:00:04Oh, not me.
01:00:06This fell out of Stacy's backpack in the calf today.
01:00:08This is hardly page one worthy.
01:00:10Half the girls in the school are trying to tinkle away the pounds.
01:00:14Dig harder, star reporter.
01:00:29Not on top of the garbage, you idiot.
01:00:32Step up way down in the bottom.
01:00:38Wait!
01:00:40Wait!
01:01:04What the hell are you doing?
01:01:33so what's the poop with stacy and lacy funny you should put it that way seeing as how i've just
01:01:37been rummaging through some dirty diapers what are you talking about diuretics stacy and lacy
01:01:42they've taken so many of them they're actually incontinent between the two of them they go
01:01:46through a pack of depends a week the head of the beast
01:02:14can you believe we actually did it we are sitting at an a-list table girlfriend
01:02:21newsflash everyone party at my house this friday everyone's invited
01:02:40hey muktar where are you going home but why this party's for the entire school tell that to him
01:02:50stay right here i'll be out in a sec to get you in okay your name on the list please
01:02:55would you be
01:02:55able to read it if it was
01:03:02we're thinking of expanding into the middle school market sometime this spring
01:03:06how does this sound tween tattler developing minds want to know oh be a dear and i'll
01:03:14fetch me another egg cream will you
01:03:20we need to talk
01:03:26i just got stopped at the door by tyler do you want to tell me what's going on
01:03:30look inviting the whole school is great in theory but i didn't actually think everyone was going to
01:03:34show up we'll have a fire hazard on our hands if we're not careful besides do you really want to
01:03:40party with all those people don't you mean plebes don't do this bye we've worked so hard for this
01:03:49whatever this part is just a little too a-list for my tastes
01:03:56got a sec you don't know me remember listen i'm sorry about what i said
01:04:03truth is nobody got a bigger kick out of what you guys did to melinda than me
01:04:08god knows she deserved it so that's why you're here to celebrate the fall of the a-listers
01:04:12i'm here because i knew you'd be here
01:04:18so how about let me make it up to you
01:04:2310 free tennis lessons
01:04:29five and a free dance lesson
01:04:36look inside and find what you've been searching for
01:04:41come and fall into my arms and know your home
01:04:49everything is here that you've been waiting on
01:04:53rest assured no matter what you're not alone
01:05:00right here and now
01:05:03let's entangle in the moment right here
01:05:09right here
01:05:11yes and now
01:05:21may i cut in
01:05:34listen up five we're part of something big now where are we
01:05:38my father's home office he sees patients here sometimes
01:05:42all those times you were looking for scoops and it never occurred to you to just go through your
01:05:46father's files are you insane that's completely unethical i mean this is my father's practice
01:05:53we're talking about the fact is we have reputations to preserve which means you can't get caught
01:06:00sucking a face that very well might end up on the front page of our paper that stuff they say
01:06:05about brandon is total bunk let me spell it out for you vi pure and simple he's a rumor weed
01:06:12and you're the fertilizer
01:06:16gee thanks corn
01:06:19now look i took a chance by deciding to go public and putting a face on this paper
01:06:24and i won't i thought we only fessed up because esmeralda told brett
01:06:33you lied to me
01:06:37i don't have time for this i have a party to attend
01:06:46oh moctar god i'm so sorry
01:07:00mom are you okay
01:07:05it's sort of late i was just doing some reading
01:07:11i found these in your room
01:07:19mom listen i can explain i seriously doubt that
01:07:24violet violet i've never laid down too many rules with you because i have always trusted you enough
01:07:29to do the right thing
01:07:33this is not the right thing
01:07:37you always taught me to fight fire with fire
01:07:42you're putting gasoline on the fire
01:07:45nothing good can come from a gossip rag like this
01:07:49look honey if you have problems at your high school you have to go about it the right way
01:07:57otherwise what's the difference between you and the cheerleaders you're going after
01:08:02i could hold it in
01:08:09i liked you better with jello in your hair
01:08:30what the hell is this
01:08:32hunky tennis himbo running groupie racket has already snared a dozen girls in his net
01:08:36i think i preferred it when melinda was spreading dirt about me at least she was honest about what
01:08:40she was up to what is this you should know you wrote it i did not i didn't even know
01:08:45about it
01:08:46then what is your byline doing on it
01:09:05how could you i needed to know where your loyalties lay
01:09:09a good reporter is always willing to expose anyone for scoop
01:09:14oh speaking of which tell me what you think of these
01:09:18wait a sec these are normal kids just like brandon normal is that what you call the speech
01:09:25team captain's secret war with tourettes cornelia i know that kid and he does not have tourettes
01:09:32you cannot print this why not for starters can you prove that it's true can you prove that it's not
01:09:41what from citizen kane one of my favorites you know besides since when is printing the truth
01:09:47the point actually the point was to make this school a little less of an elitist hellhole
01:09:53by nailing the a-listers wasn't that our mission statement mission accomplished they've all been
01:10:00nailed right onto that wall maybe that should be the end of the tablet hello this paper has a life
01:10:10of its own now vi and thanks to it so do we maybe you forgot but we were nothing before
01:10:16this paper and
01:10:17we can mean nothing again which means if a few innocent kids have to be sacrificed if i have to
01:10:24make up a few bogus stories then so be it corn yeah you lost me at hello
01:10:34be careful vi
01:10:37you're either with us or or what or you could be our next headline
01:11:04i don't have to eat here anymore yes i do
01:11:13i quit the paper just like you what happened cornelia wanted me to doctor some photos
01:11:20said the real tabloids do it all the time it's like she's become a totally different person
01:11:26which i guess is second nature if your dad's some big shot plastic surgeon yeah yeah i know he's worked
01:11:31on every girl in westland hills including his own daughter what are you talking about
01:11:39well there was this time in the second grade when she missed almost a full month of school
01:11:44i just assumed daddy worked magic on her a whole month huh
01:11:51thank you so much for agreeing to see me in your home dr nixon i have this thing about my
01:11:57arms you
01:11:58know this uh uh flabby part well that seems fairly typical to me it's probably nothing a little
01:12:05little time at the gym couldn't fix that's the thing i hate gyms all those perfect bodies i feel like
01:12:11i'm in pod person land well have you ever just considered exercising at home oh that's a big
01:12:18no can do not with the remote and the couch calling my name listen i know obsessing over something
01:12:23like this might not seem like a big deal but when i close my eyes i just imagine myself in
01:12:2820 years and
01:12:29my body is this one big turkey waddle you should see my aunt she's got underarm flaps as big as
01:12:37elephant ears
01:12:38okay i can see that this is important to you so if you'd like i could probably do some basic
01:12:43nipping and tucking thank you dr nixon i really appreciate that showtime
01:12:55excuse me just a moment let me get that
01:13:04okay
01:13:05may i help you yes food delivery one chicken vindaloo and two orders of that uh really puffy bread
01:13:14i didn't order any food oh i know you didn't um but that's just the thing
01:13:23we here at pat samosa just opened up a new franchise in the western hills and we're going
01:13:28around to a few select customers giving free samples of our delicious menu
01:13:36oh my you might say we're trying to curry favor
01:13:42oh oh get it
01:13:53would you like to share a twinkie
01:14:04share a twinkie stupid
01:14:22you know i've been thinking for the benefit of our leaky cheerleaders we ought to have baby
01:14:28changing stations installed in the girls bathrooms what do you think everybody
01:14:40is
01:14:52doing
01:15:08is
01:15:10do
01:15:10for
01:15:39Transcription by CastingWords
01:16:09Transcription by CastingWords
01:16:14Transcription by CastingWords
01:16:16But still, I guess the kids that we smeared in the Tattler were entitled to their secrets too.
01:16:26I just wish we could run one giant retraction.
01:16:37Mom, what should I do?
01:16:40I can't answer that for you, Violet.
01:16:45But I know that you will figure out a way to make it right.
01:16:51How can you be so sure?
01:16:55Reporter's hunch.
01:17:00Stacy and Lacey have gone over the deep end, big time.
01:17:04Stacy showed up this morning with her hair dyed black.
01:17:07And word is, Lacey got so zonked out on Xanax and pizza over the weekend that she could barely make
01:17:12it into school.
01:17:13Good work.
01:17:14Throw in a pair of painkiller addictions and you got yourselves your first page one.
01:17:20I've got something better.
01:17:23Much, much better.
01:17:38Okay, let me guess.
01:17:39You found some photos from my freshman year.
01:17:43Oh, you found out about my brief stint as the school mascot.
01:17:47Actually, this tale looks pretty real to me.
01:17:56How did you find this?
01:17:59Well, let's just say I had a home consult with a well-known plastic surgeon and...
01:18:05Hey, it worked.
01:18:06After looking at those photos, I'm feeling pretty good about myself.
01:18:10You wouldn't, Vi.
01:18:12This is below the belt.
01:18:14But when it curls up like that, it sort of goes over the belt.
01:18:17It's a physical deformity for crying out loud.
01:18:19You can't make fun of something like that.
01:18:22Besides, it was surgically removed a long time ago.
01:18:25Really?
01:18:26Because according to this file, there's enough still left to justify the wearing of baggy plaid and corduroy well into
01:18:31the summer months.
01:18:41You always were my star reporter, Vi.
01:18:46And you were my friend, Korn.
01:18:52Maybe the best one I ever had.
01:19:01Fine.
01:19:04What do you want to make this go away?
01:19:10Put an end to the tattler.
01:19:12But not before you print a retraction apologizing to all the kids that you...
01:19:16All the kids that we smeared, including Brandon.
01:19:24Fine.
01:19:27I'll do it.
01:19:30I'll put an end to the tattler.
01:19:36Yeah.
01:19:49Animal Farm is the story of a cruel man who oppresses the animals on a farm.
01:19:54It's a system in which the vast majority of life's perks are enjoyed by a select few.
01:20:02Then the animals throw them out and take over the farm with the idea of everything being more equal.
01:20:09Until one of the animals decides that some animals are more equal than others.
01:20:16I think what Orwell was saying was that in the blink of an eye, the oppressed can become the oppressors.
01:20:23And in the end...
01:20:27That's just as dangerous.
01:20:36Is that it, Valid?
01:20:39That's it.
01:20:51You really brought the book's themes to life.
01:20:54Well done, Valid.
01:20:55Well done.
01:20:57Yeah, well, you can sort of say I lived it.
01:21:18Oh, guess what?
01:21:20You know that little piece that I wrote about the new traffic light?
01:21:23Well, I did some digging, and it turns out that that street is not zoned for commercial traffic.
01:21:30I could actually have a real story on my hands.
01:21:35That's great, Mom.
01:21:37Maybe the Westland Hills Bugle will become a hotbed for advocacy journalism after all.
01:21:45Hello?
01:21:49Pizza delivery.
01:21:51Everything on it, and, um, recyclable cardboard.
01:21:56Mom, this is Brandon.
01:21:57This is Jacob's.
01:21:58Oh, hello, Brandon.
01:22:09I think I'll heat this up.
01:22:11I-I just unpacked the microwave.
01:22:13Oh.
01:22:13Mm-hmm.
01:22:17Breakfast club.
01:22:19Director's cut, no less.
01:22:21Speaking of cuts...
01:22:28Careful.
01:22:30Thorns can get pretty sharp.
01:22:35I don't know what to say.
01:22:39Don't say anything.
01:22:43Oh.
01:22:53It's, unfortunately.
01:22:56It's time to take care of it.
01:22:56Oh.
01:23:12Exactly.
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