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00:08You
00:13We're getting ready to go meet my family or friends. I don't know who's here for me. I'm pumped. I'm
00:20really excited. Yeah, so wish us luck
00:24On the edge and I can't let go
00:27When's the last time you met someone's family? It's been a while. Okay. Do you remember why you like me?
00:32Here we go. I see somebody's excuse us
00:40I love you so this is Hayley. Hi Hayley. This is Logan. Oh my god. I am so happy you're
00:50here
00:54I
00:55Here's to Hayley cheers so Hayley
00:58She's a Leo. He's a Leo. Oh my god
01:01Here we go again with the star talk. Yeah, I don't believe in that remember. We don't believe in that.
01:06Yeah, okay
01:06So anyways, we became best friends and she did not know how old I was
01:11How old did you think I was when we were hanging out? Maybe five years older than me
01:15And I told her and she laid in fetal position cuz I was shot
01:19Really? Yeah, she looks good. I mean
01:21So Logan did not know my age. So how old are you looking? Wait, let's tell her our story first.
01:25Okay. Let's tell her our story first
01:26Yeah, I mean so we tell her how we met
01:30You want to go?
01:31No, I'm an interrupter
01:35So yeah, we met at this retreat and the whole point of the retreat was like, you know
01:40Go in nothing about age not talking about age. That's that was like the goal and out of all the
01:46women there
01:47I connected with Vanessa the most and I wanted to continue, you know, seeing it out
01:51Obviously, I just felt like we had a connection and and then after that we moved in together. Yeah
01:56Okay, now we're here. How is that? How is that? Um, yeah, the other one living with Vanessa? It's been
02:02fun. I mean, she's
02:05She's you can tell she's a strong independent woman. Are you keeping up?
02:10You know, I try
02:11Um, but looks like I think I'm doing a good job. I don't know. I mean, we have our ups
02:16and downs, but it's good
02:17And I think tell me tell me about that
02:19I think you know, it's like we I mean, we're too fiery like we have a very fiery person out
02:24You're a leader like, you know, we do fight. I'm not gonna lie
02:28I mean, we kind of tell each other how it is and you know how we feel like he kind
02:32of matches my energy and I match his energy
02:34Yeah, now we're just you know, then we can get to the age
02:37We're not getting to the age yet
02:39You wanted to get to the age early on
02:42Sorry, Chops goes in so many pieces
02:44I know, I'm sorry
02:46Say this, say this. What do you want me to say?
02:48Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just really excited
02:49Is this like that fighting up that I'm seeing right now?
02:52The fieryness
02:52Yeah, this is like say this say this
02:54Oh, don't talk about the age
02:56Don't talk about the age
02:57All right, say what you want to say
02:58Guess how old you
02:59Okay, just guess how old you
03:00I want her to guess
03:0238
03:03Well, I'm old
03:04How old are you?
03:06I'm 29
03:09Are you screaming, crying, crying?
03:11Here's the thing though, here's the thing
03:12Let's put a time on, time on, time on
03:14You guys are best friends though
03:16Vanessa's young
03:17No, and that's why we click so well like even like when we're in the apartment
03:21I don't feel the age difference
03:23You know, but then sometimes it's like if you go out
03:26Or like this conversation you get reminded of it
03:28And it's like that part's hard
03:29But it's like everything else is really
03:31When I think of Vanessa
03:32I mean, I feel like we're the same thing
03:34Right, right, right, right
03:35But what I want to say is like
03:36I think it's so cool
03:37My best friend is 32
03:39And my best guy is 29
03:41Like, and I'm 49
03:43Top of the roster
03:44He's the top of the roster
03:45He's my only one, stop
03:48You're the only one, stop
03:50What?
03:51I just, it's crazy
03:53You know, I wasn't happy to see
03:56Hayley's reaction to like how old I actually am
03:59I'm constantly reminded of the age gap
04:02With my parents, with the outside world, now with Hayley
04:06And, you know, it's tough
04:08It's the reality of, you know, our life together so far
04:11So, um, hopefully Vanessa's saying good things
04:14Uh, but, you know, you never know
04:17Obviously you know my dating history
04:18Yes
04:19I want to hear like what your impression of him was
04:21I, I don't know, like
04:22I thought it was kind of weird
04:25The way
04:27You guys like literally got like
04:29These like little mini fights
04:30Yeah
04:30Like what's going on there
04:31Is it like in a fun way or is this like a
04:35I know
04:36Bad way
04:36Okay, does this remind you of any relationships of mine?
04:39All of them
04:39Yes, I know, seriously
04:41So at some point I'm like, is this me?
04:44Or is this him?
04:45Or do I just pick really strong personality?
04:48I don't know, I don't like that
04:49And yeah
04:50I think that the meeting, obviously this is a strange situation
04:55But that was bad vibes
04:57Just a bad interaction
04:59He literally had a mini fight with you like twice while we were sitting there
05:02Yes
05:02Like that's weird
05:03Yeah
05:04Do you think that's weird?
05:05Yes
05:05So that's what I want to talk about
05:06So we move in together
05:08I thought we were friends
05:10And like then finally like it got to be more than friends
05:12But like
05:13Wait, you move in together and you feel like you guys are just friends
05:15For like the first couple of days
05:17He was like sleeping with a pillow in between us and saying his prayers at night
05:21I mean, that seems like significant
05:22It's just like these dumb little things that make me think he's still a little childish
05:26You know
05:2729
05:27I mean, 29
05:28But I think like I look at you and you're 32 and I don't feel like an age difference between
05:32you and I at all
05:34Like you're that person like you need the sight
05:36All I'm hearing is like
05:38I know
05:39Me too
05:39And at first I was like
05:41Me too
05:41I was excusing them as like yellow flies
05:43Are you like ready to take this home like to the next level?
05:48Like you want to continue this relationship?
05:49So
05:50I mean obviously things would be different
05:53Yeah, sure
05:54So for me, I feel like
05:58Honestly
06:00This thing that we've been through has bonded us together
06:03Yeah
06:03Like in a way that like I've never been with anyone else, you know
06:07In the beginning it was great
06:09And then it got a little lukewarm
06:10And then it was bad and then it was good
06:13And now I'm just like where am I?
06:15Like it's been like
06:15I've just been running in circles with it
06:19Do you think it's his age?
06:20Or do you think it's his personality type?
06:22It's sounding to me
06:24That it could be just a little bit of both
06:26Yeah
06:28Maybe he's like having an issue with the age
06:31And that's why he's so hot and cold
06:33Yeah
06:33And like causing these problems
06:36I know
06:37Yeah
06:37So like
06:39What is it?
06:40So should he like take that ring off your finger?
06:44In relationships, Vanessa normally wants somebody super outgoing
06:49The life of the party
06:50I think she needs somebody a little bit younger
06:53Somebody who's still outgoing, fun, not a lot of baggage
06:57But at the same time, that's kind of like where things might come into a problem
07:01Because he is those things
07:04So, you know, do I think this is the best thing for her?
07:07I'm not sure
07:08No, we can't take this for granted anymore
07:22Oh, parachute pants
07:24Not really
07:25I like these
07:26They are not parachute pants
07:42They're just
07:43I've told her
07:44I'm not sure
07:46It's important for them to know
07:48Yeah, but like they don't know me
07:49But I know you
07:51So they need to know about who you are
07:53I just
07:54It's hard for me to sort of like
07:57Understand how they could like accept me
08:00Given all of those like very different circumstances
08:05I would think that they would be like,
08:07how can you know that you feel the way you do?
08:12I think my people are going to be a little bit more cautious.
08:17I know my kids. I know that they want me to be happy.
08:21They want me to find someone.
08:25You know, they love me, so they...
08:34You know, I can't imagine that they'd be like,
08:38against what I want, but I don't know.
08:44I mean, it's scary.
08:47Yeah, I think the more we talk about it, the more scared I get
08:50because I'm worried that something I can't control
08:54is going to fuck this up.
08:56I get it.
08:57I don't want to get blindsided.
08:58I just need to know from you,
09:01is it worth it for me to continue to invest in this?
09:07Do you think we can navigate that backlash together?
09:11I mean, this is just really hard,
09:14but it's just, like, I wish we didn't have this stupid complication.
09:20What complication?
09:21Like, just the worry about people's perceptions
09:24and judgments and age stuff.
09:26But it's a complication on your side.
09:28I'm only stressed about it because you're stressed about it.
09:31And you're so stressed about it.
09:35Emotions are running high.
09:38I know I'm gonna be like this.
09:47You said it's hard.
09:49Mm-mm.
09:49We're meeting somebody.
09:50I'm like a viper.
09:52Nervous as shit.
09:53Hey!
09:54Don't call me out like that.
09:56You're nervous too.
09:57I am.
09:58Very.
10:04I'm happy to see you, Ash.
10:06I'm so happy.
10:07You didn't expect to see me.
10:09No.
10:09So happy.
10:09Oh, my God.
10:10Well, I gotta get my hat.
10:11I'm super excited to see my best friend and my cousin.
10:15Good to see you.
10:16Hi.
10:17Nice to meet you.
10:18Nice to meet you.
10:18I'm good.
10:19I'm good.
10:20What is your name?
10:21Pfeiffer.
10:21Pfeiffer.
10:22Rache Reese.
10:23Nice to meet you.
10:24Nice to meet you.
10:24She's seen me at low points.
10:27So she's protective of me and, you know, my feelings and my heart.
10:31So I definitely know she's gonna have some tough questions.
10:36Derek is definitely a pivotal point of my life.
10:38So I'm just wanting to see how you guys connect.
10:42Have you guys talked about any future plans?
10:45Or have you thought about any future plans?
10:47Yeah.
10:48Yeah, we have.
10:49So she's currently in Seattle.
10:51Oh, Seattle.
10:51Nice.
10:52Okay.
10:53And, like, her contract where she's working is up in three months.
10:56Wow.
10:57Yeah.
10:58All right.
10:59All of that's lined up.
11:00So we talked about, obviously, me having the boys, right?
11:04So she's open to moving because, obviously, I'm stationary.
11:07I can't.
11:07Correct.
11:08And you are living in Seattle currently.
11:10Yes.
11:11Yes.
11:11So that would be a big move for you if you were to move to Texas.
11:15It would be.
11:16I'm originally from Pittsburgh.
11:18Okay.
11:18So I moved from Pittsburgh to Seattle.
11:20Mm-hmm.
11:21By myself.
11:22Nice.
11:23A big, I mean, cross country change.
11:26But I've always been the type of person to kind of go for that sort of adventure.
11:31And I like change.
11:33Especially, I mean, be a good reason.
11:36Don't worry.
11:37You definitely changed.
11:37It was very important for me to establish that when I'm moving to Dallas, like, I do
11:43want to be, like, fight for it.
11:44Like, I still want to be myself.
11:46Correct.
11:46My group of people.
11:47Correct.
11:48Because you can't rely on just one relationship to be your only relationship in your life.
11:54Mm-hmm.
11:55Because that's a lot of pressure for one person to be everything.
11:58And that's kind of what I was gearing towards, too.
12:00Yes.
12:00Considering the kiddos.
12:02And, yeah.
12:02It's like, how do you feel about?
12:04Yeah.
12:04I mean, I knew right when I started talking to Derek that he had children.
12:08And that's, like, very important to me.
12:10Correct.
12:10Um, and I knew that he wouldn't be able to move, but I am in the position where I can.
12:15Okay.
12:16Um, and I take, I mean, I take family seriously.
12:18I really want a big family with lots of kids.
12:21Yeah.
12:21I'm assuming you don't have kids?
12:22No, I don't.
12:23Okay.
12:23And so you want a big family?
12:24Yes.
12:25Yes.
12:25You would be okay with kind of incorporating yourself into a family?
12:28Absolutely.
12:29Yeah.
12:29Awesome.
12:30Yeah.
12:30I mean, just more people to love.
12:32Exactly.
12:33Yeah.
12:34Yeah.
12:34And remind me, I don't know, how old are you?
12:37I'm 23.
12:40Okay.
12:41Yeah.
12:42I did not know that.
12:43Yeah.
12:44We did it a little bit different.
12:46Okay.
12:46A little far apart.
12:47Yeah.
12:47We didn't know.
12:48We had no concept of each other's age.
12:50Um, but it, yeah, I really have no, I have no person, like, I have no issue with age gaps.
12:55Um, I'm, I'm really, I am about, like, who is the person?
12:59Who, correct.
13:00Because it doesn't matter.
13:00I've been in alignment with her life.
13:03But have you dated someone with kids?
13:05I, no.
13:06I have never dated anybody with children.
13:08Okay.
13:09Um, I guess my biggest point of reference was, well, my parents were split up when I was
13:14really young.
13:15Um, and my dad was, like, basically a single dad.
13:18Um, so I had a lot of personal experience with, like, the step-parent figure.
13:23Okay.
13:24Um, I think there's definitely a way to go about, um, being, like, we've talked about
13:29being introduced to, to his, his children.
13:32Um, and I think it's really important to take the time before doing that.
13:36Yeah.
13:36Um, because I know how it's impacted me meeting people quickly.
13:40Um, like the women that my dad was with, um, I would never want to put Derek's children
13:47in that situation.
13:48And it seems like you're very understanding.
13:49Right.
13:50Which is honestly a very amazing characteristic, you know?
13:54But being, like, in the real world of things where it's like, hey, we only plan quality
13:58time.
13:59Right.
14:00Once a month.
14:00Well, Dom is calling now.
14:02Yeah.
14:02And he's saying, hey, I miss you, Dad.
14:05Right.
14:05And Derek goes with his son.
14:08How would that kind of look?
14:10Like, yeah, if I feel like time is not being made, it, I would just bring it up.
14:15And I would say, like, yeah, like, I'm feeling, like, can we get, like, one date in the books?
14:20A month.
14:20Correct.
14:21I don't need, I don't need a ton.
14:22You're not asking for every day.
14:25Piper's 23.
14:29I, that, that, that's, that's, I don't need a ton.
14:32That's, that's a gap.
14:34What does that really look like long term?
14:38Because 10 years from now, she could be a completely different person than she is today.
14:43And maybe those things that Piper mentioned she was okay with, maybe she wouldn't be okay
14:47with five years from now.
14:48Who knows?
14:49I think these are questions that are something to kind of think about.
14:53Totally.
14:54Absolutely.
14:55Yeah.
14:55We need to see when that storm hit.
14:57Right.
14:57What it looks like.
14:58What does it look like?
14:59Right.
14:59Absolutely.
14:59And it will.
15:00It'll end.
15:00Like, that's, that's just life in general.
15:04Let me fade away through the night.
15:12How are you feeling?
15:14Mm.
15:16I'm okay.
15:17It could be better.
15:19Do you wanna, do you wanna talk a little bit?
15:21I mean, I don't, I don't know.
15:23When do you wanna talk?
15:26Yeah, actually, I'd like to tell you how I'm feeling a little bit.
15:29You wanna sit down?
15:29Yeah.
15:30Just give me a blankie.
15:31Yeah.
15:31I have never been broken down this much in a relationship and I've never felt so exhausted
15:36in moments in relationships, but I care about Leah so much and I care about the connection
15:41that we've made.
15:41I want to make this work and move forward.
15:45I want to talk and all I really want to talk about was just to remind you that I see
15:49you
15:49and that I know that this is hard on you, just like this is hard on me, this whole process.
15:54Um, but I want to be honest about the fact that the overbearingness, it's quite literally driving me nuts.
16:04Maybe I just think of it a little differently.
16:06I think I'm more of a, I'm trying to do like a we thing, but then it's like, I feel
16:11like you keep doing a me thing, which is cool.
16:13Well, I think it goes back to the fact that you don't want to be left alone, which I understand.
16:19I think what you realize is like, I'm left alone a lot.
16:23I'm a flight attendant.
16:24We're alone all the time.
16:26Like, trust me, when I'm alone, I'm alone and I have no problem with it.
16:31But it's like, I just don't understand.
16:33I don't know what is healthy for you and healthy for me and then like find us our healthy place.
16:40I'm, I'm struggling.
16:41Like, I'm really, really struggling.
16:42I know.
16:43I see it.
16:44And that's why I'm like, I don't, that's why for me, it's like, I don't know what to do for
16:47you.
16:48And like, I want you to be like your happy, healthy self.
16:51I just, I don't know.
16:52I just, I miss what it was like at the retreat.
16:55I know.
16:56And like, I miss the way you looked at me.
16:59I do.
17:02I, I, it hurts me to hear that like, you feel that I'm looking at you that way because
17:08I really am trying my absolute hardest.
17:11I know.
17:12To make sure you feel loved.
17:14Like, I really am.
17:15I'm just telling you that I won't leave this without giving all of that I got.
17:21That's.
17:21I can say the same.
17:23You know?
17:23And I, and I believe that you won't either.
17:25So, I appreciate you hearing me.
17:28No, thank you for having this conversation with me.
17:30Yeah.
17:31I know.
17:31Let's just take it day by day.
17:33We're good.
17:43We'll figure this out.
17:47We'll figure this out.
17:50Mmm.
17:52Delicious.
17:53So good.
17:54Having my friends meet Libby really put things into perspective for me.
18:00I mean, integrating a 22 year old girl into my life is definitely concerning.
18:06We live on different coasts, different time zones.
18:10Kids, work, life, and what happens when we're back to all of that.
18:17So, remember when we were like talking and you were telling me how you wish that you would
18:23have taken more time between college and the real world.
18:27Mm-hmm.
18:28And like traveled or moved abroad or something.
18:32Mm-hmm.
18:32I don't know, it's just been like on my mind.
18:35Like, I know we have the commitment ceremony coming up.
18:42Mm-hmm.
18:42And I feel like the closer we get to that, the more I've been in my head.
18:46Mm-hmm.
18:46About like, is there a future with us?
18:50Are we aligned?
18:51Is our age gonna be more of a factor?
18:53Mm-hmm.
18:55I just know like when I was 22, I wasn't ready to be in a serious, committed relationship.
19:02And I knew that.
19:04So, it was just, I don't know, it's been something that's on my mind.
19:07I'm like, if there's more life that you feel like you need to go and live and like, do it
19:12by yourself.
19:13Mm-hmm.
19:14Like, I would understand that.
19:16To me, I don't view it as that.
19:17I'm not like, oh, this is somebody who's gonna take away from my life and they're gonna expect me to
19:22be a certain way or not travel, not have fun, not see my friends, whatever.
19:30I don't see it like that.
19:31I feel like you add to my life.
19:33I mean, I've already had so much fun with you and like, to me, that's experiencing life.
19:38I know I'm a lot of fun, like right now.
19:41I am more boring at home.
19:43Yeah.
19:44I don't go out that much.
19:46There's definitely, my life is more just like established and settled.
19:51And I think that's always been an issue with me when I date like, you know, younger.
19:55It's like, am I holding you back from, you know, I guess what I wanted in my 20s?
20:01I don't know, like, obviously I'm only 22, but I don't think I'm as crazy as you might think.
20:07The most important things to me in my life have been stability and my friends and my family and, you
20:14know, like, my career and keeping myself on track and all that stuff.
20:19Like, that's what feels good in life to me, not being crazy.
20:23Part of something I wanted to experience was a stable relationship with a normal person.
20:29An old guy.
20:30Yeah.
20:31Really old.
20:32Really old guy.
20:33Really old person.
20:34I think it's just hard to hear a lot of hesitation from him.
20:38And I guess it hits me differently now that I've, like, opened up to him fully.
20:43There is a part of me that is nervous that if we get to the next step and we're outside
20:51of here, these doubts and reservations will just continue.
20:54And at that point we will be fully in and that will only get harder.
21:01Everything we're getting closer.
21:04Everything we're getting closer.
21:05Finally the way that's on time.
21:08Slipping out of the shadows.
21:11What do you think?
21:12No, I'm good.
21:13You good?
21:13Yeah.
21:14Um, so you got to meet my friend, which I'm so happy because how ironic, like, my best friend and
21:22you are, like, the same age.
21:23It's pretty on brand, I feel like.
21:25Yeah.
21:25Yeah.
21:25I did not expect you.
21:27I expected nothing less of your best friend.
21:29Yeah.
21:29I expected her to be young, vibrant, just like you.
21:31Yeah.
21:31It was cool to see you with your, with your girl.
21:34You know?
21:34Like, you were, you were shining as always.
21:36I'm so happy.
21:37Okay.
21:37What do you, what do you think her honest opinion is of me and this?
21:41I think she was just worried about the fighting thing.
21:43Like, less saying the fighting.
21:44It kind of alerted her.
21:46Yeah.
21:47To, like, what is this fighting?
21:48What is going on?
21:49Like, how, is this a big deal type of thing?
21:52Does this, like, define us?
21:53Are we more than just having, like, little fights, you know?
21:57I mean, you tell me.
21:58I mean, I don't want it to.
21:59What do you think?
22:00No, I don't want it to define us.
22:01I don't either.
22:02I would like to just be able to, like, elevate both of us to a place where, like, we don't
22:08have to have the fighting anymore.
22:10You know what I mean?
22:11Right, right, right.
22:11Because it's just like, it's like a battle of egos, you know?
22:15Right.
22:15Like, it's just not healthy and it's not good.
22:17And I don't want to do it.
22:19Yeah.
22:20So, I'm like, from this point on, I'm like, I just want to pick the battles.
22:23Like, if it's not worth fighting.
22:25Right, right, right, right.
22:25And I feel like today was a good day.
22:26Like, you know, we got annoyed with each other, but we're like, whatever, blow it off, you know?
22:30Yeah.
22:31So, I mean, do you think, like, eventually, like, just our little quips would be like,
22:34that's just Vanessa.
22:35I would be like, that's just Logan.
22:36I would hope so, yeah.
22:37You know?
22:37Like, I mean, it was funny because, like, at dinner, like, they were like, is this a fight?
22:40You know?
22:40Yeah.
22:41No, like, this is literally me talking and then all of a sudden you going like, no,
22:46talk about this, talk about this, talk about this.
22:47Yeah.
22:47And then going in circles, I'm like, Vanessa, what do you want from me?
22:50I know.
22:50I'm always 10 steps ahead of you.
22:51Yeah.
22:51I know.
22:51You are.
22:52You're right.
22:52Like, you have to see that in yourself.
22:53No, and I know that.
22:54You know what I mean?
22:55Because my mind is, like, constantly going.
22:57It is.
22:57But it's like, look, if you want somebody and their personality to be their personality,
23:00you have to take a step back sometimes.
23:02Yeah, it goes both ways.
23:03Right.
23:03I'm not saying it's just you.
23:04Like, there's me.
23:05Like, I'm, like, push, push, push.
23:08Right.
23:08And you're, like, you're 10 steps behind and I'm 10 steps forward.
23:12You know what I mean?
23:12Well, I've just given you the steps.
23:14Yeah.
23:14I know.
23:14I know.
23:15You know?
23:15But I do feel like, like, I want you to accept me for how I am and I want to
23:20accept
23:20you for how you are.
23:21Yeah.
23:21So, it's like, we just have to, like, navigate through that.
23:26Right.
23:28So, hopefully we can figure this out.
23:30Yeah.
23:31Mm-hmm.
23:31So, what's next?
23:32Yeah.
23:32Yeah.
23:33Yeah.
23:33What's next?
23:34I just asked you.
23:35You can't ask me that question though.
23:37No.
23:37I mean, it's, like, the question that's hanging in the air.
23:40Like, where do we go from here, you know?
23:42Right.
23:42What's next?
23:42We enjoy the night.
23:43Stop it.
23:45And we have fun.
23:46Mm-hmm.
23:47And we light some candles.
23:48Okay.
23:49I step out and take this ride.
23:52I feel alive.
23:54So, I'm gonna step on ground.
23:58Got something to believe in.
23:59Even if I fall back down.
24:03Nothing's gonna stop me now.
24:06Cause now I'm fireproof.
24:10All right.
24:11What's on the happy hour menu?
24:13Great.
24:13Oh, wine flight.
24:19Zero appetite.
24:20Is that your appetite?
24:22No.
24:22No.
24:26Here they are.
24:27I've got this far inside.
24:30Yay.
24:31And I'm ready.
24:31Oh, my God.
24:33Hey, Mom.
24:36How are you?
24:37Good.
24:37How are you doing?
24:38Richard, right?
24:38Richard.
24:38John.
24:39John, nice to meet you.
24:40Oh, my God.
24:45I can't believe you guys are all here.
24:47It is crazy.
24:48Were you not expecting, like, to come?
24:50How are you guys?
24:51Oh, my God.
24:51How are you?
24:52Wow.
24:52I can't believe you guys are all here.
24:54Yeah.
24:55Cheers.
24:56Cheers.
24:56Nice to meet you.
24:57Yeah.
24:58Thanks for coming.
24:59Taking the flight.
25:00Very happy to.
25:02It's been fun.
25:03Your mom talks about all you guys all the time.
25:06Obsessively.
25:07And I'll say that she's very proud of you guys.
25:10Yeah.
25:11I'm happy you guys are here.
25:13Yeah.
25:13And I think she is, too.
25:15No, I'm not happy.
25:16Yeah.
25:17Yeah.
25:18Well, what made you want to take this journey?
25:23I guess getting out of Miami.
25:26Miami's very superficial.
25:27And not to talk down on it, but it's hard to make, like, a genuine connection.
25:31Um, I came into this experience, like, super open-minded and ready for whatever came to
25:38me.
25:39And connected fast.
25:41Yeah.
25:41For whatever reason, like, we gravitated towards each other from the very beginning.
25:46And it's just, like, our relationship has built more and more.
25:49And it's, you know, been very genuine.
25:52He's, like, a nice, safe dude.
25:55Yeah.
25:55And it's been really great to get to know him.
25:58And do you, are you guys living together right now?
26:02Or?
26:02Yeah.
26:02Oh, you are.
26:03How's that?
26:04It's been good.
26:06He's being a very good boy.
26:08He's, like, picking up and, like, doing things.
26:11But, yeah, actually, like, probably the one thing that I would say that bothers me the
26:17most is that, like, a couple times we've been at, like, a restaurant and you'll take,
26:21like, a paper napkin and you'll just be, like, toot.
26:24And I'm, like, that's not where that goes.
26:27See, I'm learning something.
26:28Small things.
26:29Yeah.
26:29Small things.
26:29I feel like I do that.
26:30I know.
26:31Yeah, well.
26:33What do you think about, like, having, like, her having, like, older kids, too?
26:37So, we'll, I don't know.
26:41We've talked about that, but.
26:43Yeah, like, when we revealed, like, our truths to each other, age, and obviously you guys
26:50were a huge part of that.
26:51Yeah, I was a part of it.
26:52Um, he was, like, whatever.
26:56Not, like, a passive, right?
26:58Just, like, you know, you are who you are and she shouldn't be, and she's not by any
27:03means that she shouldn't be ashamed of that.
27:05And you don't want to have kids, I'm assuming?
27:08I don't want kids, no.
27:10I've never seen that in my future.
27:14Yeah.
27:15Yeah.
27:16I felt comfortable giving her that answer, and that's how I honestly feel, so.
27:21That's fair.
27:22I mean, I will say the fact that we are all, like, older, though, too, it kind of, you don't
27:26have to deal with the BS of, like, I don't know, like, me going to college or, like, paying,
27:31I don't know, just paying for the...
27:32Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:32The pressure of all that.
27:34Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:34I mean, that's part of why I agreed to do this, was because I, you know, obviously...
27:39Now that we're all done, yeah.
27:41Well, it's not, yeah, I mean, it's not that you're done.
27:43Like, obviously, I'm always going to be your mom's and be supportive and everything, but
27:48it did come sort of at a strange time that this opportunity was, like, literally the
27:54day I left your graduation, right?
27:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:57And I remember, like, leaving you guys that day and crying and being like, what am I doing?
28:03What am I doing?
28:04Yeah, yeah.
28:04You know, like, because I was, like, having doubts about it, and leaving you guys was so
28:10hard.
28:11Yeah.
28:13But, you know...
28:14But, I mean, you've always tried to protect us and think about us first, but maybe you've
28:19been neglecting yourself.
28:20It's important to take care of yourself, too.
28:22Yeah.
28:22And to do something that's for you and for your future.
28:25Yeah.
28:28Yeah.
28:32Yeah, I mean, that's what I said, you know, in this whole thing was, like, I more or less,
28:38like, finished that chapter, making sure you guys were, like, sent off on, like, your,
28:43like, best way possible, and so now it was, like, a time for me to find, you know, something
28:52that was good for me, and, like...
28:56Yeah.
28:56Your own happiness kind of thing.
28:58Yeah.
28:59Yeah.
28:59How would you envision your ideal future together?
29:03Like...
29:05Um...
29:05Yeah, I don't...
29:06I mean, we don't know.
29:08Like, we're...
29:08I'm not gonna predict anything.
29:12I respected Lauren for caring about her mom and asking those hard questions.
29:18I think probably all three of the kids were interested in those answers.
29:22I know how important, like, family time is, so I'm going to head back to the apartment.
29:27Thanks again for coming.
29:28Hopefully we catch up soon.
29:30Yes.
29:30Good to meet you.
29:33Good to meet you.
29:34Good to meet you.
29:35Very nice to meet you.
29:36Thanks again.
29:36Yeah.
29:37Do you have a hug again?
29:38Yeah.
29:38Hi.
29:39Nice to meet you.
29:40Of course.
29:41Hopefully see you soon.
29:43Nope.
29:44I think today went great, but I saw Theresa kind of beat around the bush.
29:49I wish she was a little more confident and proud.
29:52Yeah, I think John and I are solid.
29:55I kind of wish she would have boasted about that a little more.
29:59And I think the kids would have probably fed off her energy, saying like,
30:04Oh shit, my mom's like, she's really sold on this guy.
30:06So I didn't love that lack of enthusiasm.
30:13Yeah.
30:13What do you think?
30:15You look really happy and I'm so excited for you.
30:20Do you see yourself, like, getting married?
30:23I don't know.
30:25Yeah.
30:25Can't answer that question.
30:27You know, you guys have seen me, like, hurt and destroyed.
30:33Yeah.
30:33You know, and I don't want you guys to see that again.
30:37So I'm being very careful.
30:39And, um, but I also want to take your feelings and consideration into my decision making.
30:48You know, I don't want anybody to be uncomfortable with any situation that I'm, like, in.
30:54So, you know, I want you guys to at all times feel like you can be, I'm not just saying
31:02this.
31:02Like, you can be upfront with me.
31:04Yeah.
31:05And tell me because you are, like, the most important things to me in my whole world.
31:12So can you tell us about his age?
31:16No.
31:17I mean, I can, but I don't want to.
31:20Why?
31:20Because I really feel strongly that I want you to get to know him like I did.
31:26Yeah.
31:27You know, we formed a connection based on those deeper qualities and, like, the more meaningful things.
31:33Yeah.
31:34And I want you guys to also have that opportunity.
31:39Yeah.
31:39But I just want that to come at a later stage.
31:43Yeah, I just want to make sure you're thinking realistically.
31:45I am.
31:47The age is going to make a big difference when you're out of this whole experience.
31:52No, I trust me.
31:53It's a huge thought.
32:00Not telling the age is definitely a little weird.
32:03I would say I think John is probably more around 35.
32:06If John were younger than about 30, it would definitely be more of, like, a surprise to me and definitely
32:12more of a weirder thing.
32:13Just because, like, we're maybe even closer to age than she is.
32:17So that's definitely a little strange.
32:18He seems really into her, which I think that's a good sign that they have great chemistry.
32:25But I want to protect my mom, obviously, because she's been in hard relationships for the past 10 years.
32:32But I do think realistically, there's a lot of other things that come with the age difference.
32:37And I think time will tell if it really will be able to work out in the long run.
32:50How are you feeling, ma'am?
32:56Um...
32:56Talk to me.
32:57Honestly, pretty bad.
33:00Okay.
33:03I think...
33:07Maybe I've been a little bit...
33:10Mmm...
33:11Overly optimistic about things.
33:15I guess.
33:17Okay.
33:18Um...
33:21Okay, like, this whole time, I've been telling myself, I'm like,
33:25I'm moving because I want to move.
33:27I'm moving because I don't want to be, which is true.
33:29I don't want to be in Seattle.
33:30I don't want to be there.
33:31But, like, I'm moving to basically be with you.
33:35Like, that is...
33:36That is the truth of the matter.
33:39Like, that's what I'm doing.
33:41Mm-hmm.
33:43And...
33:45I have always told myself,
33:48I will...
33:49I will...
33:49I will not change my life for a man.
33:52Which, I think my big struggle right now is, like,
33:55Am I betraying myself by giving up everything for a relationship?
34:04And...
34:04I'm having a hard time with my own personal...
34:09Values.
34:11Okay.
34:13Um...
34:14I also think...
34:15Sometimes I just don't need to hear, like...
34:19Oh, everything's gonna be fine.
34:21Because it's not helpful.
34:25Um...
34:25Because it's, like...
34:28I'm...
34:29I'm, like...
34:31Like, giving up everything.
34:34Which, like...
34:36And you're...
34:36It's not like you're not.
34:40But...
34:40Like, I am.
34:42And it's, like, I don't...
34:45Like...
34:46Like, put yourself in that position.
34:49Like...
34:50I'm not only leaving everybody.
34:53And everything I've worked for.
34:55But I'm also going against my own values to do that.
35:01Which is not to say that I'm not going to.
35:04Or that it's not gonna be worth it.
35:07But sitting here...
35:09Now, I'm, like...
35:12What the fuck am I doing?
35:15What the fuck am I doing?
35:16What the fuck am I doing?
35:22I'm sorry.
35:23That's, like...
35:24Not very...
35:25Positive or kind.
35:28But...
35:28No, it's real.
35:30I want you to be honest and real.
35:34I'm just, like...
35:38I'm just scared.
35:40I understand.
35:41I understand.
35:42I think that, um...
35:45Uncertainty being scared.
35:47That's normal.
35:48And I know that that's extremely uncomfortable for you.
35:51And I know it's like, well...
35:53Derek, that's easy for you to say because you're not the one making that sacrifice.
35:57I get...
35:57I get all of that.
35:59There is not...
36:01Like some word...
36:03Or magic formula that I can say to just make all that go away.
36:07That's just gonna be an element of it.
36:10But change is not that always.
36:13You know, change is just more of, like, evolving.
36:17And so...
36:18Still have your friends.
36:20You'll have me.
36:21You'll have your relationship.
36:22You'll have new friends.
36:24You'll eventually, you know...
36:25Whether you change a career 25 times.
36:27It doesn't matter.
36:28Like, you don't have to know all the answers right now.
36:30You don't have to...
36:31Like, I don't...
36:32I don't...
36:32I don't want to stress personally.
36:33Like, just being, like, selfish.
36:35I don't want to be stressed out.
36:37Like, oh, my God.
36:37I feel stressed about this.
36:38Like, I need you to be in a peaceful state for us.
36:42Like, that's how we will flourish.
36:43Like, just being real, so...
36:46Mm-hmm.
36:47Mm-hmm.
36:48What?
36:52What?
36:53Mm-hmm.
36:55Say it.
36:57So you're saying,
36:59in order for this relationship to work,
37:01starting off,
37:02you need to be making this decision
37:04from a place of peace.
37:06Is that correct?
37:11Okay.
37:25I tried to keep it simple.
37:29Simple never kicks you this.
37:32Can't resist.
37:35No.
37:36I thought I had forever.
37:38Oh, this is beautiful.
37:40It's a now and never kiss.
37:43So excited to see everyone.
37:46Yeah.
37:46Can't waste another minute
37:49without a leap of faith.
37:53Look at this.
37:55You guys, like,
37:56you guys are glowing over here.
37:58All right, buddy.
38:05Hey, guys.
38:07Hi, honey.
38:08I miss you so much.
38:10You look so beautiful.
38:14Hey, guys.
38:15What's up?
38:16How are you?
38:17What's up?
38:18Hi.
38:19What's up, buddy?
38:31Everybody looks amazing.
38:32You guys all look stunning.
38:34Can we toast everybody together?
38:36I think no matter what happens beyond this,
38:38we've all grown and we've all become better people.
38:41So, you know, one day at a time,
38:43let's just keep moving forward.
38:44Whether it's together or apart,
38:45I know that this has been a blessing,
38:47and I'm very appreciative.
38:48Together or apart?
38:48Dang.
38:49I agree.
38:50I love it.
38:50Cheers.
38:51Cheers, y'all.
38:53Cheers, y'all.
38:54Cheers, you guys.
38:54Together or apart.
38:55Together or apart.
38:56Together or apart.
38:56Two together.
38:58Hello.
38:58Oh.
39:00Oh.
39:04Hey.
39:06How are y'all doing?
39:08We're great.
39:09Hey.
39:09How are you doing?
39:10We're great.
39:11We're doing great.
39:11It's not about us.
39:12It's not?
39:13We're already in love.
39:14We're married.
39:14We have a baby.
39:15Okay.
39:16Okay.
39:17All the things.
39:17So, last time we saw you,
39:18we dropped a little surprise,
39:20letting you all know that your friends and family
39:22were on the way.
39:24So, no more surprises.
39:25That's more of a bomb, not a surprise.
39:28That was a bomb.
39:29Well, and just like that,
39:30this relationship wasn't just yours anymore.
39:33Yeah.
39:33To say the least.
39:35You had to open it up to opinions,
39:37to pressure, and to judgment.
39:39That's true.
39:40And it affected all of you in different ways.
39:43Teresa?
39:44I know when we kind of dropped that bomb,
39:47I couldn't help but notice some nervousness.
39:50I was horrified, scared,
39:52and I wasn't expecting it to happen the way it did.
39:56Obviously, your kids are older.
39:58They're, you know, I think...
39:59Well, I mean, I'm very protective of my kids.
40:02Okay.
40:02They're my kids.
40:03However, John was extremely poised
40:07and very articulate,
40:09and they asked him great, hard questions,
40:11and he answered them, you know, like a baller,
40:14and it was great.
40:16Was his age one of the questions that your kids asked?
40:19Well, I was like, yeah, no, no.
40:21Oh, you didn't tell?
40:22No, they don't know.
40:24Oh, so they never told...
40:26And they won't know for a while.
40:27Until I decide.
40:31What's your reasoning for not telling your kids his age?
40:34Because there is a gigantic double standard.
40:39If he was my age and I was his age,
40:41there would be such a lesser of a problem.
40:44And so I'm going into this as, you know,
40:47really in a difficult position
40:50because there will be a lot of judgment,
40:52not on only me, but my kids probably,
40:55their friends, our community, all of that.
40:57And if we're being real, like,
40:59and we want to say, like, age doesn't matter,
41:01then why should I have to reveal it right now?
41:04Why shouldn't I be able to let them get to know him
41:08before I say, you know, by the way,
41:12he's, like, in your age range?
41:14Like, that's going to be awkward.
41:17Leah, you've been pretty expressive over there.
41:20Well, because the whole point of this journey
41:22is to let everyone's family know
41:25how old were the people that were dating.
41:27That's the whole point of it.
41:28Yeah, but that will come.
41:29I mean, it doesn't have to happen
41:31when somebody else tells me it has to happen.
41:34Like, I'm making a decision.
41:34But it's going to happen regardless.
41:35Yeah, of course.
41:37Why hide it now?
41:39Like, he's 27.
41:41I'm not hiding it.
41:41I think he's 27, right?
41:42I'm trying to be strategic
41:44in letting my kids get to know him as I did.
41:48They will find out when they find out,
41:51and it's nobody's choice or decision to do that
41:54except for he and I.
41:56I just thought, like, we had to divulge it
41:58at the end of the day.
41:59You know, I thought that was the whole goal.
42:00It was like, we're not ashamed of it.
42:02I'm not ashamed of how old he is.
42:03I'm not ashamed of it.
42:06I just need some water.
42:07It's really none of your business.
42:08It's not my business.
42:10It's not my business.
42:10It's going to come out one way or another.
42:11It's none of your business.
42:12Yeah.
42:13I understand.
42:16No, I'm still going to have a voice,
42:17but it's just I understand that you're coming from a different...
42:20Well, you can have your voice that goes in your head,
42:21not verbally.
42:22No, it's the voice that's going to be said.
42:24Well, I don't need to hear it.
42:26Oh, I'm sorry.
42:26It just got said.
42:29All I can say is, don't fucking come for me,
42:31because I will...
42:37All right, let's stay respectful, guys.
42:39We're good.
42:44I think for clarity, friends and family were coming
42:47to meet the person that you committed to,
42:50and how many of those details you include is up to you.
43:04You shared space, you shared lives, you faced judgment, and you found ways to stay connected.
43:13But now, it's decision time.
43:18Tonight is your last night together.
43:22Tomorrow morning, you will wake up next to the person you've lived a life with here.
43:27But then, you have to say goodbye, because from that moment on, you will be on your own.
43:33No more shared space, no more comfort in each other's presence.
43:39Just time to sit with your heart, your doubts, and your decision.
43:49The next time you see each other, it will be to speak your truth, and to decide, do we move
43:56forward together, or do we walk away?
43:59Each of you will make one final journey to a mountaintop overlooking a place where it all began.
44:06Up there, you'll stand face to face, and ask,
44:10do you keep those promise rings, and commit to taking this leap together?
44:15Or do you take them off, and choose a different path, alone?
44:24It sucks.
44:31You've all got a lot to think about.
44:37It's just not fair.
44:49You're 22.
44:51I'm 38.
44:53That's a big gap.
44:55The truth is, no matter how much I doubt the age gap, I don't doubt the way I feel when
45:04I'm with you.
45:06If we were to stay together, I may regret it for the rest of my life.
45:12I always protect you, and I always protect your hearts.
45:16Fiker, I truly love you.
45:20It's a huge commitment to say that this person, who's 27 years younger than me, is my boyfriend.
45:28I need you to believe that age is just a number, but also believe in me that every day I'm
45:35gonna show up and work on this together.
45:37I love you.
45:40I can see myself growing with you.
45:43You lit something inside of me that I thought was gone.
45:47I think we've both made a decision that will impact our lives and our families, and I just hope and
45:52pray that it's the right one.
45:54He's like in the prime of his life right now, honestly.
45:58And why would he give that up for someone 20 years older than him?
46:02This is a card you break up with.
46:05I hate the promise ring back.
46:32I hate the promise ring back.
46:33You never, I want are honored again.
46:34I hate the promise ring back.
46:40you're so good.
46:41To grab it, it's my fitting side.
46:46You're trying to try and get it.
46:49One more time.
47:03I see you again.
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