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Boyzone No Matter What S01E03 (2025) [Full Movie] [Free Online HD]Full EP - Full
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00:14You're living in a bubble, you're living in a dream.
00:19I was 18 when we started, catapulted into this superstardom.
00:24Look at us now! Look at us now!
00:27Because I loved what we did for seven years, and now it was being taken from me.
00:32Do boyzones still exist? I don't know.
00:35The world we just lived has disappeared. What is my new world? Who the fuck am I?
00:42Although nothing has been confirmed officially, it's thought Gatelyn...
00:45Everything had changed. Everything had changed.
00:48I should have gone back. I know that I should have gone back.
00:53To get those years would have been everything.
00:57I should have gone back.
01:00I should have gone back.
01:16What are you doing to do?
01:25me i mean that is just this really sums up how pissed off shane was with ronan honestly all you
01:34had to do was talk to me about how you feel about ronan and off he went i was angry
01:40at ro for years
01:42and i found myself in this dark world it didn't take a lot to upset me and it would come
01:48out in
01:49any environment any space live tv to concerts to interviews do you get upset that they keep
01:56saying nasty things about you no you know what so be it we're all getting on with our lives
02:01employees i don't think are going to get back together pretty much and uh if the guys want to
02:06get back together you know wish them the best hope they do well we had decided to to take a
02:10year off
02:11and then get back together but one year later ah i i couldn't see it happening
02:19a bad lemon oh a ball's lemon
02:24what did you all take before you came
02:26i was getting plenty of work but it just wasn't fulfilling my uh my dreams i suppose my goals
02:37i really wanted to perform i had to get out i had to find something i had to find something
02:41that
02:41gave me um a bit of hope in life
02:49growing up cars are with my life my dad working as a car mechanic me lying under any car under
02:57any
02:57bonnet it's who i am i was blessed with an opportunity to drive in a show called auto sport show
03:07the best in the world were there and this dickhead
03:14i came toward in that race and from there i got signed the ford motorsport
03:20when you stand on stage that energy that you got i got that from cars
03:26the boys owner i lacked purpose in my own mind all of a sudden now this is your time to
03:32shine
03:39it's my one and only shelly unwin shell this is my mate clear mccarthy shelly good to meet you
03:45yeah as well in case out of the blue i got a phone call from coronation street
03:51out of my comfort zone to say the least but nevertheless i i gave it my best shot
03:57i went into curry for two or three episodes i ended up staying on and off for 10 years
04:03coronation street gave me an identity it gave me belief in myself it gave me confidence
04:08all of a sudden i was i was somebody that was keith duffy it wasn't the big one in the
04:13back with the
04:13broken teeth now did you watch your pal keith yeah i did yeah i thought it was fantastic and do
04:19you
04:19all still keep in touch um i haven't spoke to ronan in a while um or mikey just that you're
04:24all so busy
04:25you know doing your own thing you know it's quite it's quite hard i'd always make time for boys on
04:31after my solo album it was um very very difficult more difficult difficult than i thought it was going to
04:36be
04:37you know quit for about a year came back and done some theater i love doing that but i just
04:44felt
04:45it really difficult being on my own um and you know being with four guys who you consider your brothers
04:51and then just kind of not seeing them for a long time none compares to being with the lads
05:06it was unbelievable there in the noughties madness my manager louie at the time is saying record
05:14company are pushing you you've got to make the album we know we need that we need the album made
05:19i was very hungry and i wanted to be great and i wanted to have my opportunity so i kept
05:23going
05:25but it was quantity over quality i'd loads of ideas for him as a big middle of the road artist
05:34he appeals to older women and stuff and there's nobody better that was his market that was his lane
05:40it just he he he just got it wrong he just made the wrong choices he didn't even know where
05:48the
05:48fuck i was i opened in sydney to 10 000 people he didn't know i was on tour get ready
05:54for another
05:55tv phenomenon pop stars the rivals is coming in autumn well it's good it's good we are going to
06:01get good singers at the end of the day louie became a tv personality he was given that chance because
06:08he
06:08was the manager of boyzone and that obviously gave louie an opportunity but that took a lot of his time
06:14i was on the phone to running all the time i talked to him every day and he always wanted
06:20more
06:21things start to fall into place and you realize louie's not a great manager i gave him multiple
06:28opportunities to fix the problems so i went and met him and i said it to his face he just
06:34said he didn't
06:35want to be a karaoke artist and he wanted to record his own songs he wanted to write his own
06:40songs
06:40and he wanted to be a proper artist i've got one shot in my career and he didn't give a
06:46fuck that shocked me the fact that he wasn't happy with the songs they were all hits hey that's what
06:53you're in the business for having hits just fell on deaf ears i always told him the truth what was
07:01the truth you're lucky fucker you know this is great enjoy it and i remember going in and saying right
07:09that's it and what did you say i said okay nothing i could have done i couldn't have changed this
07:15one
07:15it was a divorce battle lines are drawn and you did have to pick a side i picked louie
07:25i knew westlife were going to be bigger than boyzone it was in my own selfish interest
07:29but you had to pick somebody and louie made that very clear
07:33it's this monumental shift in in the media just the language in the newspapers changed
07:39um and he was demeaned and diminished i called him talentless and different things here and there in
07:47the press he knew how to hurt me vicious fucking bitchy vicious horrible things
07:55he tried to ruin me and my career
07:59do i regret it yeah a little bit do you think he knows that you regret it no he doesn't
08:06know
08:07it was an incredible show of the strength of somebody who has the media they think it is you
08:14are who you are because i made you who you are i was with ronan all the time you know
08:22i was there
08:23working with him every day so it was just inevitable that i would just take over eventually
08:31mark plunkett thank god for mark i kept my sanity because of mark we had a great time lots of
08:38touring
08:39lots of international trips lots of tvs all over the world you're mad busy because you're you're
08:46promoting uh you're a new album but the single singles out now this is it but there's inevitably
08:51going to come point where the sales dip slightly you know the the hits weren't quite as big as they'd
08:57been
09:00made my third album my fourth and things started to slow down a little bit
09:07it wasn't having hits but he's not having any since i left oh i had done my party trick
09:18and maybe i'd done it a few more times too much and uh i needed to figure out again who
09:24i was you know
09:25where i was so my compass kind of went back to to north to the boys
09:41in 2006 gary borough was putting take that back together so i went along to see the show
09:51all the fans noticed me and the whole place started chanting my name and clapping and i was like
09:58i thought i'd be i had been completely forgotten about so that was quite um
10:06a surprise um and then when i seen their show i was kind of feeling the the bug again you
10:15know
10:18we just slowly but surely got to chat again to each other and little kind of whispers here and there
10:24you know stephen would definitely be the one that would be pushing it with them this is going to be
10:28great you know we have to do this and just all spiraled into kind of i was having a meeting
10:32let's
10:33get into a room that was all that's all it was test the water
10:41i was worried about the boys reaction i hadn't seen them for years there was resentment bitterness
10:51i was shitting myself going into the room yeah 100 i was nervous as hell
11:09you know you could feel there was a lot of scars people were unsure unsure it was going to work
11:15uh unsure they wanted to do it at all the rage that i had with ro in my mind when
11:22i saw i was going
11:23to fucking destroy him i was going to abort them very very very spiky that first moment walking into
11:32the room again i was filming and when i saw his face i could do nothing but hug the fella
11:42let's go down like i miss you that actually gave me a good insight to it's not always as bad
11:50as you
11:50think in your mind i would just like to apologize if anything i have said or done in the past
11:56seven
11:56years i was hurt or affected anybody in a negative or unhappy fashion i wasn't the reason the band broke
12:03up but i was definitely the reason the band didn't get back together before you know and i apologize for
12:07that i made choices that i'm not proud of i left them behind
12:15for success i did have blinkers on yeah didn't end right yeah we need to do we need to do
12:23it right
12:26asking if he thought there was any scope for the band getting back together things haven't always been
12:31as good as they are tonight it was great going in so successful as an actor but every now and
12:36again
12:37you'd get a surge of memories the audience being blown away and you go wow i'd love just one more
12:45chance maybe this could work now if we're all really on the same page you know it was there for
12:52the taking
12:53personally you know what i mean i'd like to do a little something i've really missed all of you
12:58i mean it's i think it's just amazing being here i mean it's back it excited me you know i
13:06think
13:06everyone was kind of let's do it let's do a tour let's get to see if people are bothered with
13:12boys on
13:12anymore
13:22admission sequence start bye charlotte
13:29who's idea were those fucking outfits
13:41oh my god our first performance in eight years we're climbing underneath the stage to go on these
13:49trapdoors to be sprung loaded onto stage so nervous going up in that lift and kind of going oh my
13:57god
13:57i don't know where i'm going it's like it rubbing the headlights you get a panic attack you get this
14:02kind
14:02kind of oh shit and it's amazing i remember that excitement how we felt in that exact moment with
14:15that countdown you can feel the breath you can feel the energy from a crowd and you cannot imagine what
14:23that's what that's like it's home real
14:33oh man like using goosebumps
14:48i couldn't hear the first two songs to be honest because the crowd was so loud
14:54i'm not there for glory i'm there to go look at all you people and look at the joy that
15:00we can bring
15:12you
15:12we designed a moment everybody would get their own little moment and i think that's why it felt so
15:16different
15:20i felt a part of the band for the first time
15:28that my efforts were being appreciated that we could now really be a band
15:37we'd fill each other spaces without even thinking about it without even looking at each other
15:42if shame is out far right you know i'd see him starting to move in if mikey was in the
15:47middle he'd
15:47move over to her fill my space and you just fill each other's voids and it's a real art
15:57we're back we were back i just felt you know unbelievable
16:03that was pretty magic then getting the band back together
16:12that reunion tour was was huge you know multiple nights in arenas
16:17then when they got back together they asked me to take over the managing i was glad to be involved
16:22i've been there since since day one in the uk um and yeah i didn't want anyone else to carry
16:28on
16:28writing those those chapters see we're the vocal harmony group we are we're not a boy band right
16:34the plan was then to you know work on your album everyone was in a great place
16:41we uh as a collective now had more control over the music for the first time i was enjoying the
16:48music that boyzone was doing it took us 15 years to do that
16:5507 to 09 were the best years of the band
16:58we were the most comfortable in our own skin that we'd ever been
17:01as soon as i get in a room and then boys i'm the silliest fella i was back when i
17:05was 17 years
17:06old it's just kindergarten kids it was absolutely brilliant to be back with those fellas like
17:12nothing had changed like nothing had changed who farted just seemed to share even more laughs than we had
17:22before i don't know just a better understanding of each other you gotta get this right go away
17:29some people really came into their own steven in particular
17:35it was the best version of him i'd ever seen the other guys have got girls to dance with you've
17:40got
17:40a bloke yeah i don't have to be true to myself and that's that's how it turned out and i
17:44think it
17:44works beautifully with the song he was looking great he had a book going he had met someone new
17:50andy they were just in love and got married very happy everything was going as planned
17:59presumably you're going to be working on new music together four singles a brand new song
18:02and you have it already yeah well we think so we had done the better tour we had new songs
18:07for a
18:07new album and that brother album is is our finest hour everybody was really really happy and in a
18:13good place it's a blessing be given a second chance and i'm loving every minute of it
18:31my phone rang it was a solicitor by the name of gerald keen who boys on had used in the
18:3890s
18:40phone rang picked it up and gerald keen says to me i uh
18:49uh i'm sorry i'm sorry to tell you
18:55what stephen has passed away
18:59and i said stephen who and uh
19:10the boy zone singer stephen gately has died while on holiday on the spanish island of mallorca at the
19:15age of 33.
19:22i had to call louis and the guys
19:27and give them the news
19:31it was late in the bar we're drinking and as i left the crowd ro's voice came louder in my
19:40phone he's
19:41like steo steo he's gone i said what our stephen he said yeah he said he's gone it just wouldn't
19:49go in
19:49what what no no no no not our stephen and i hear them screaming
19:55i'm screaming
19:57you still hear it
19:59i can't breathe your legs got from under you
20:08it would get through in little bits and then it would be complete just breakdown
20:18My wall just fell apart.
20:24Numb.
20:31We tried to put a plan together to get down to CSTL.
20:35Our instinct was just to get together.
20:38So that force of companionship
20:41and that force of, like, OK, where are you?
20:44How can I get to you? What do you need?
20:46I couldn't tell you the journey, couldn't tell you anything.
20:49I just know we got on a fucking plane.
21:00The body of Stephen Gately was found by police officers.
21:02So far, Gately's family have made no comments.
21:04What caused Stephen Starr's death on Saturday remains unexplained.
21:08Miriam got me on a flight to Mallorca.
21:10The next morning, I get out there and it is heaving.
21:18There was press everywhere.
21:20It was crazy having the boys there.
21:22They just couldn't move.
21:23It was horrible. It was horrible.
21:26The kind of cesspit of journalism
21:28that sometimes it can all descend into.
21:30Paul, what can you tell us? What's the latest?
21:33Well, Karen, there's been quite a lot of movement here at the apartment.
21:35This is the apartment just beyond me here
21:37where Stephen actually passed away.
21:39Suddenly, it's immediately like, get the story.
21:45What has happened?
21:46What has happened?
21:49Nobody really speaking in the Boys Zone camp officially yet.
21:52But obviously, there's quite a lot of speculation behind the scenes.
21:55So then you're starting to get around the hotels and what clubs was he in?
21:58You're trying to put this together.
21:59He was found by police and taken here to one of the island's mortuaries.
22:03Although nothing has been confirmed officially, it's thought Gately and his partner arrived back here.
22:08You know, we had no idea what happened to him.
22:10You know, it's only what we've read and, you know, in the press and stuff.
22:15Conspiracy theories are running wild.
22:17All the reporters, they're exchanging stories.
22:19Well, I heard this and I heard that.
22:21Lots of innuendo, lots of chatter about the circumstances around his death.
22:25Some of the rubbish that was written was just horrible.
22:28The worst for me was they were saying it must have been drugs.
22:33I was, like, screaming inside because, like, I knew there was absolutely no way.
22:39It was quite incredible, the most ridiculous articles that were written.
22:45There was one in particular.
22:47Steven's sexuality had led to his death.
22:51If he's gay, it must mean that he's got this incredibly, you know, outrageous hidden lifestyle.
23:00Oh, he'd been out on a bender and overdosed on drugs.
23:04We were hearing everything.
23:07Having known Steven for over a decade, he was the last man to, you know, have a hedonistic lifestyle or
23:16a dangerous lifestyle.
23:17It's the first time I've ever looked at my own industry, my own world, what I'd been part of and
23:21gone, you scumbags.
23:23My mother found two men at the end of her bed taking pictures of my parents as they woke.
23:33Basically broke into our house and went up the stairs and took pictures.
23:40With everything that was happening, I was just waiting for the autopsy report to confirm that it was something else.
23:47Because I knew it was something else.
23:52Pathologists here have concluded that he did not die as a result of alcohol nor drugs.
23:58He had a heart defect that nobody knew about.
24:02Because of the heart defect, his lungs filled with fluid.
24:08We found out I have the same heart condition as Steven has.
24:13Funny how just, you know, a little tablet every day just sort of keeps that under control and if Steven
24:19only knew.
24:21People didn't bother their arses to really read up on what happened.
24:25They just see the headlines in the newspapers and they just assume that he's overdosed.
24:31Oh, you were in that band with that dead guy.
24:34Why did he kill himself?
24:35I've gone from not to ten in a second at times.
24:39You want to insult my brother, I'll fucking kill you.
24:41You know, I don't care how big or strong you are.
24:44You'd have to kill me to stop me.
24:47But to hear that they were now putting like a name, you know, to what he died from makes it
24:53a little bit easier just because it was just like you could breathe again, you know.
25:09We brought Steven home.
25:13Margaret Steven's mum asked us to look after the funeral arrangements.
25:22We didn't like the idea of him being alone in the church overnight.
25:28He didn't like the cold. He didn't like being alone.
25:32So we offered to stay the night with him in the church to keep him company.
25:42When everybody else left and there was just the five of us, there was a great sense of peace, of
25:52unity.
25:59I don't want to say sadness because, believe it or not, we actually had quite a comedic night.
26:08And the usual joking that used to go on in the very early days when everything was innocent and naive,
26:22for that night, that emerged.
26:27We put easels all around the church of pictures of Steven.
26:31And we walked around looking at the different pictures, the different smiles, the energy in his face.
26:36And we talked to him. We knew what his part would be.
26:40We all knew it. We didn't have to say it. We could feel his voice and his energy.
26:44And we joked and we laughed and we talked about old stories.
26:48And what a thing to share with those boys and with Steele, those very last moments.
26:54We still had him, you know, in some way. We still had him.
26:58Just the five of us together.
27:00And you hold on as long as you can.
27:05Yeah, but the morning came around real fast.
27:16We had a mass, a special mass prepared for Steven.
27:20It was really only family and the lads and friends, close friends.
27:23And when we turned up the church, there was people lined for miles and miles.
27:33There was an ocean of photographers as well flashing away as we were going in.
27:40So, erm, I went over to the photographers and I said, you're welcome to come in.
27:44I said, everybody can come in.
27:46And they all, like, sort of stepped up to come in.
27:48And I said, you can leave your cameras there.
27:50And then you can come in and pay your respects.
27:54You know?
27:54Cos he didn't pay your respects to him when he was alive.
27:58You know?
28:00None of them came in. Yeah.
28:06We can only have so many in here in the church.
28:08And I know we have so many, many people outside.
28:10So just thanks to you for coming along to share in this special day to remember Steven.
28:17Steven was a force to be reckoned with.
28:20A true friend full of love and friendship.
28:24He brought colour to the band.
28:26And that band now simply feels black and white without him.
28:30We're gonna really miss you, brother.
28:32We love you.
28:34We always will.
28:43Carrying his coffin with the other guys.
28:47You could have heard a pain drop.
28:53And this is on a street that was the toughest part to grow up in Dublin.
29:00And the height of respect that the people showed for this boy from their neighbourhood.
29:09It broke me.
29:15The love he had was fucking gorgeous to witness.
29:20It's a rare thing.
29:21Everybody loved him.
29:24He was a true pop star. He loved life.
29:28You know, he paved the way for so many to know it was okay.
29:32I mean, I hope that's not a legacy, what is?
29:37When I think of Steven, all I can see is him being like four years of age with his little
29:46t-shirt on with Miss Piggy on the front of it.
29:49He was very innocent and shy and just looking up, wanting to give you his hand for you to just
29:56take him.
29:57Just so lovable and kind and, you know, just a lovely person.
30:16It felt better.
30:18It felt better to be in each other's company than not to be.
30:33We decided that maybe, you know, the right thing to do in Steven's memory is to keep going.
30:42Shouldn't have.
30:44The dynamic changed what it felt like to be in the band.
30:49Sometimes it was hard just to do the gig.
30:52The three fellas and one missing.
30:56The void was massive.
30:58And it made you feel so self-conscious.
31:00It made you feel like we were shit.
31:02It made you feel that the audience just wasn't buying us anymore, you know?
31:10We went on and off over the years that followed.
31:14Ten years.
31:16Couple of tours.
31:19Never felt the same.
31:21For me, it wasn't until he was gone that I realised how much he was the glue that kept a
31:27lot of the band together.
31:31Whilst boys were still being successful, still selling a lot of tickets, still touring all over the world.
31:37To me, it felt as if it was time to take a break.
31:42But rather than splitting up and falling out, announce the farewell tour.
31:48I'm not saying anything's flagging anything, but I'm just saying.
31:53It got more and more intense.
31:56And relationships broke down within the band.
32:01I spotted arrogance, the growth of ego.
32:07It just became hard work.
32:11People started just behaving fucking badly.
32:17And when that happens, something's going to give.
32:22It came to a head in 2019.
32:28I saw it all.
32:30I was ready to get the fuck out of there.
32:33It's when the band imploded.
32:40I'm always ready for it.
32:42You know what I mean?
32:44I'm always ready for it.
32:542019 was a tough tour.
32:56We went everywhere.
33:00I got a sense that towards the end, people were just holding on tight, enjoying the ride, having fun.
33:08When I can't.
33:12I can't, I can't.
33:13I've got to sing every day.
33:14I've got to last two hours on stage and, you know, I've got to be able to perform.
33:17And in Tokyo, I just felt the piss was being taken.
33:27If you're coming tonight, have a great time, because we certainly are going to have a fantastic time.
33:32See you later.
33:33I always found going on stage a bit of a party anyway.
33:37It's everyone out there is having a great time.
33:39I needed a great time too.
33:41I mean, they had been out all day and they were drinking all day.
33:44And, yeah, it was messy.
33:50We certainly partied a little harder than we usually did.
34:03It was the end of the road.
34:08I think that they interpreted me as seeing their carry-on as infantile.
34:19And that is how I seen it.
34:22I'm sure if you talk to any one of the fans at any one of those shows, they'll tell you
34:26that they had the best night of their lives.
34:28It was the worst.
34:30It was the worst I had seen in all of our years.
34:38So I went at the mall, told them how I felt.
34:41It was a tennis match.
34:43From that guy, to that guy, to that guy.
34:45You're not pulling your weight like I'm pulling my weight.
34:48The job is always done, you know.
34:50He's done a great job.
34:52And we did our job the way we did.
34:53You know, I gave it all.
34:56At my detriment.
34:58I gave everything.
34:58To be the lead man you take on most of the work.
35:02Don't complain about us who aren't working as hard.
35:05We don't have the opportunity.
35:07It's very different.
35:09You were the dude who wanted to be in the front.
35:11So, take your fucking role and do it.
35:14It had reached a complete stage of malignancy.
35:21I had enough.
35:23The next night, there was a clash between Keith and Mikey in the dressing room.
35:27There were things that happened that were cruel.
35:33And I'm not going to express any more than that.
35:37My mother always said, if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything.
35:42We left Japan, some of us not talking with each other.
35:49And yet we still had to do the final five nights in the Palladium.
36:04All the venues we played, however big the venue might have been,
36:07we always shared a dressing room.
36:10Always shared a dressing room.
36:12And when we turned up at the Palladium,
36:16our names are on different doors.
36:19We lasted 25 years flying on the same plane, in the same cars, in the same room.
36:26And the final five shows that we were ever going to do,
36:30we were going to do it on our own.
36:35We went through the motions, got through the five shows.
36:38A very, very big anti-climax.
36:40There was no hollabaloo.
36:42There was no group hug.
36:44There was no...
36:46Well done.
36:47There was no one from the record company walking on stage with a ten times platinum disc and saying thanks
36:52for everything.
36:54I just wanted to get out of there.
36:58Get away from that toxic environment.
37:03The realisation came that this is the end of the road.
37:07It's over.
37:21I haven't seen anybody since that night.
37:29That's when I began to understand, I need to make some changes, you know.
37:42I've spent the last ten years saying yes, looking after everyone else, making sure everyone else is alright.
37:48But only now am I saying no.
37:50No, I've got to think of me.
37:54So that I can be here to watch my children grow up.
38:00For me personally, I wouldn't be able to survive in that world anymore.
38:04I had to get out.
38:06And I cannot do that to my family.
38:08Go back in there.
38:12It's an addictive drug.
38:15Because I took a back seat for such a long time over my career,
38:19I feel that I still have so much left to prove to myself.
38:25It's a real head fuck.
38:28We've all moved on.
38:30I've got Westlife, you know, I've had a great career in music.
38:34So I'm happy.
38:37I wouldn't have changed anything.
38:39It wasn't perfect, but it was perfect for me.
38:44Am I done?
38:47I'm gonna go, I'm gonna run.
38:54The music and the stage and the lights, I can leave that behind.
39:00But the friendship, I think, is what it is more than anything else.
39:07As much as we had had enough of being around each other.
39:10Hello, hello.
39:12Yay, boys.
39:14I couldn't bear to lose any of the boys.
39:16I hope you haven't been here too long.
39:18Been here all the fucking morning.
39:19All morning.
39:19I could put his glasses on.
39:20Oh, Jason, you're blind, man.
39:21Too close, you're too close.
39:24How are you?
39:25Good to see you.
39:25You look like Jane, Elson John.
39:27Oh, man, that was mad.
39:28You're blind as a bat.
39:29I know.
39:29I have a lot of anxiety and I feel a lot of the pain.
39:34Stuff that we've all gone through.
39:36But put me together with them and that doesn't exist.
39:39Looking well as always.
39:40You too.
39:40You're lovely.
39:42Where did you get it?
39:42I got it.
39:46Kindergarten kids.
39:50As soon as they walk in the room, it's like we've never left.
39:53No, no, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go.
39:55My head's better than yours.
39:56I'm keeping it.
39:56Cheers, lads.
39:57Cheers.
39:58It's like we're frozen in time.
40:07I wish them the absolute best in their lives.
40:10I wish them nothing but happiness.
40:12I hold no grudges, no animosity, nothing.
40:20However, I don't want to go back to how I felt for many years.
40:30And to see them, if it were for too long, would remind me of that.
40:38And my future is far too important to me to waste it, looking back at my past.
40:49But I wish everybody well.
40:53For me, one of the biggest regrets is that I clashed a lot with Mikey.
40:59And me and him were very, very alike.
41:01The amount of time that we didn't get on, that took its toll on me as a human being.
41:07You know what I mean?
41:07It's really sad, the time wasted, yeah.
41:09But that's, you can't get those years back.
41:11It didn't have to be that way.
41:14If we all had have had better skills at understanding each other better.
41:23My boys, and my men, and we don't talk like that.
41:27It was never in me to go, oh lads, I don't feel great today.
41:31It doesn't exist in a man's world.
41:33I wish it had.
41:35I have parked all of that emotion.
41:37But we were kids, Ro.
41:38We were kids.
41:39I was incredibly insecure.
41:41And Ro, I think we all were.
41:43You know what I mean?
41:43Like that's, they were fundamental years of, you know, growth.
41:47Multimental.
41:48Mental.
41:49Fun.
41:50Fundamental.
41:52There's nothing more therapeutic than reminiscing about
41:57the best times of your life.
41:59It reminds you of how lucky you have been.
42:02The RDS show, the first biggest show back in the RDS.
42:05I'm looking back at that, you know, the song that I used to do
42:07when I pulled my trousers off.
42:08Yeah, yeah.
42:08It's hard to fucking fathom.
42:10Do you know what I mean?
42:10Yeah, yeah.
42:23I'm 25.
42:23Don't tell any hip-hop, man.
42:25Hip-hop.
42:31I am so grateful for all that I have endured and experienced,
42:37good and bad, because it's brought me to be the man I am today.
42:45Every single day I have something to do with music.
42:49Waking up with a spring in my step.
42:54The guy before I joined Boys Zone was slim, healthy, fit, full of vitality,
43:02full of confidence, full of passion.
43:07That's the guy that's returning.
43:13There's a great sense of liberation.
43:24I think we'll always be what we always are.
43:29And that's brothers in arms.
43:31Oh, cheating! Cheating!
43:34Boys who grew up on the fucking north side of Dublin
43:36that got catapulted around the world.
43:41There could have been, you know, a million other lads in Ireland
43:45that got in that band.
43:47But I don't think they would have been as fucked up
43:50as the five of us were.
43:52And that's what made us brilliant.
43:56And when you think about it,
43:58starting off playing in front of 25 people on the back of a truck
44:01to playing to 100,000 people in Hyde Park.
44:05How amazing was that?
44:07It's a hell of a ride.
44:09Success.
44:11And all of the good times
44:14really do outweigh all the bad times.
44:18These boys are my boys,
44:20and I will love them forever in a day.
44:24And when we're together,
44:26Stephen Gately is alive again.
44:27And that's what's the most special part.
44:31We did have a great laugh.
44:36And it's like looking back at a picture,
44:38just saying to God, this is amazing.
44:46That's our story.
44:47It was a good one.
44:52If they came to you and asked you,
44:53should we get back together and do a reunion show,
44:55what would you say?
44:58Wow.
44:59Wow, that's a question.
45:04Look, I'd be lying to you if I said,
45:06there isn't a spark of excitement in my mind.
45:10People as far as the eye can see,
45:12and the roar of the crowd.
45:14That?
45:15Yeah, I would love to experience that again.
45:18Who wouldn't?
45:20But there's so much more going on backstage.
45:24So perhaps I'll leave well enough alone.
45:28Or, maybe.
45:31I know I said I'll never go on tour again.
45:33But they said they're going on tour.
45:34I'm not getting left behind.
45:35You're mad.
45:36Who knows?
45:59I know.
46:14I know the address.
46:15I know the Kenya,
46:16the
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