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Boyzone No Matter What S01E03 (2025) [Full Movie] [English Subs]Full EP - Full
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00:14You're living in a bubble, you're living in a dream.
00:19I was 18 when we started, catapulted into this superstardom.
00:24Look at us now! Look at us now!
00:27Because I loved what we did for seven years, and now it was being taken from me.
00:32Do boyzones still exist? I don't know.
00:35The world we just lived has disappeared. What is my new world? Who the fuck am I?
00:42Although nothing has been confirmed officially, it's thought Gatelyn...
00:45Everything had changed. Everything had changed.
00:48I should have gone back. I know that I should have gone back.
00:53To get those years would have been everything.
01:24Just reading what he told me.
01:26I mean, that is just...
01:27This really sums up how pissed off Shane was with Ronan.
01:33Honestly, all you had to do was talk to me
01:36about how you feel about Ronan and off he went.
01:39I was angry at Ro for years
01:41and I found myself in this dark world.
01:45It didn't take a lot to upset me
01:47and it would come out in any environment,
01:50any space, live TV, to concerts, to interviews.
01:54Do you get upset that they keep saying nasty things about you?
01:57No, you know what, so be it.
02:00We're all getting on with our lives.
02:02Chloe's own, I don't think, are going to get back together pretty much
02:04and if the guys want to get back together,
02:06you know, wish them the best, I hope they do well.
02:08We had decided to take a year off
02:11and then get back together.
02:14But one year later, I couldn't see it happening.
02:19A bad lemon, or a bowl's lemon.
02:25What did you all take before you came?
02:29I was getting plenty of work
02:30but it just wasn't fulfilling my dreams, I suppose, my goals.
02:37I really wanted to perform.
02:38I had to get out, I had to find something,
02:40I had to find something that gave me a bit of hope in life.
02:49Growing up, cars are with my life.
02:52My dad working as a car mechanic,
02:55me lying under any car, under any bonnet.
02:59It's who I am.
03:02I was blessed with an opportunity to drive
03:04in a show called Autosport Show.
03:07The best in the world were there.
03:11And this dickhead.
03:14I came toward in that race.
03:16And from there, I got signed to Ford Motorsport.
03:20When you stand on stage, that energy that you got,
03:23I got that from cars.
03:26In Boyzone, I lacked purpose in my own mind.
03:30All of a sudden now, shit, this is your time to shine.
03:46Out of the blue, I got a phone call from Coronation Street.
03:51Out of my comfort zone, to say the least,
03:53but nevertheless, I gave it my best shot.
03:57I went into Corrie for two or three episodes.
03:59I ended up staying on and off for ten years.
04:03Coronation Street gave me an identity.
04:05It gave me belief in myself.
04:07It gave me confidence.
04:08All of a sudden, I was somebody.
04:10That was Keith Duffy.
04:12It wasn't the big one in the back with the broken teeth.
04:14Now, did you watch your pal?
04:16Keith, yeah, I did, yeah.
04:18I thought it was fantastic.
04:19And do you all still keep in touch?
04:21I haven't spoke to Ronan in a while, or Mikey.
04:23Just that you're all so busy, you know, doing your own thing.
04:26You know, it's quite hard.
04:28I'd always make time for boys on.
04:31After my solo album,
04:32it was very, very difficult,
04:34more difficult than I thought it was going to be.
04:37You know, quit for about a year.
04:39Came back and done some theatre.
04:42I loved doing that,
04:43but I just felt it really difficult being on my own.
04:47And, you know, being with four guys
04:49who you consider your brothers,
04:51and then just kind of not seeing them for a long time.
04:55None compares to being with the lads.
05:07It was unbelievable there in the noughties.
05:09Madness.
05:12My manager, Louis, at the time is saying,
05:14record company are pushing you,
05:15you've got to make the album,
05:17you know, we need the album made.
05:19I was very hungry,
05:20and I wanted to be great,
05:21and I wanted to have my opportunities,
05:23so I kept going.
05:25But it was quantity over quality.
05:27So don't fight it.
05:29I had loads of ideas for him.
05:31As a big, middle-of-the-road artist,
05:34he appeals to older women and stuff.
05:36And there's nobody better.
05:39That was his market.
05:40That was his lane.
05:41It just, he, he, he just got it wrong.
05:43He just made the wrong choices.
05:47He didn't even know where the fuck I was.
05:49I opened in Sydney to 10,000 people.
05:51He didn't know I was on tour.
05:54Get ready for another TV phenomenon.
05:56Pop stars The Rivals is coming in autumn.
05:59Well, it's good, it's good.
06:00We are going to get good singers at the end of the day.
06:03Louis became a TV personality.
06:06He was given that chance
06:08because he was the manager of Boyzone.
06:10And that obviously gave Louis an opportunity,
06:12but that took a lot of his time.
06:15I was on the phone to Ronin all the time.
06:17I talked to him every day,
06:19and he always wanted more.
06:21Things start to fall into place,
06:24and you realize Louis's not a great manager.
06:27I gave him multiple opportunities
06:29to fix the problems.
06:31So I went and met him,
06:33and I said it to his face.
06:34He just said he didn't want to be
06:35a karaoke artist,
06:37and he wanted to record his own songs,
06:39he wanted to write his own songs,
06:40and he wanted to be a proper artist.
06:43I've got one shot in my career,
06:45and he didn't give a fuck.
06:46That shocked me,
06:48the fact that he wasn't happy with the songs.
06:51They were all hits.
06:52Hey, that's what you're in the business for,
06:55having hits.
06:56Just fell on deaf ears.
06:58I always told him the truth.
07:00What was the truth?
07:02You're a lucky fucker.
07:03You know, this is great.
07:05Enjoy it.
07:06And I remember going in and saying,
07:08right, that's it.
07:10And what did you say?
07:11I said, okay.
07:13Nothing I could have done.
07:14I couldn't have changed this one.
07:15It was a divorce.
07:20Battle lines are drawn,
07:21and you did have to pick a side.
07:23I picked Louis.
07:25I knew Westlife were going to be bigger than Boyzone.
07:27It was in my own selfish interest.
07:29But you had to pick somebody,
07:30and Louis made that very clear.
07:34It's this monumental shift in the media.
07:37Just the lag which in the newspapers changed,
07:40and he was demeaned and diminished.
07:43I called him talentless
07:45and different things here and there in the press.
07:48He knew how to hurt me.
07:50Vicious fucking bitchy,
07:52vicious horrible things.
07:55He tried to ruin me and my career.
07:59Do I regret it?
08:01Yeah, a little bit.
08:03Do you think he knows that you regret it?
08:04No, he doesn't know.
08:07It was an incredible show
08:10of the strength of somebody
08:12who has the media that they think is it.
08:13You are who you are
08:14because I made you who you are.
08:19I was with Ronan all the time, you know.
08:22I was there working with him every day,
08:25so it was just inevitable
08:27that I would just take over eventually.
08:31Mark Plunkett, thank God for Mark.
08:33I kept my sanity because of Mark.
08:36We had a great time.
08:38Lots of touring,
08:39lots of international trips,
08:42lots of TVs all over the world.
08:44You're mad busy
08:45because you're promoting your new album.
08:48But the single's out now, this is it.
08:50But there's inevitably going to come a point
08:51where the sales dip slightly.
08:54You know,
08:54the hits weren't quite as big as they'd been.
09:00I made my third album, my fourth,
09:03and things started to slow down a little bit.
09:07He wasn't having hits.
09:11But he's not having any since I left.
09:14Oh.
09:15I had done my party trick
09:18and maybe had done it a few more times too much
09:21and I needed to figure out again who I was,
09:25you know, where I was.
09:26So my compass kind of went back to...
09:30to North.
09:32To the boys.
09:412006, Gary Oro was putting
09:44Take That back together.
09:47So I went along to see the show.
09:51All the fans noticed me
09:53and the whole place
09:55started chanting my name and clapping
09:57and I was like...
09:58I thought I had been completely forgotten about.
10:02So that was quite...
10:06a surprise.
10:08And then when I seen their show,
10:11I was kind of feeling the bug again, you know?
10:18We just slowly but surely
10:20got to chat again to each other
10:22and little kind of whispers here and there.
10:24You know, Stephen would definitely be the one
10:26that would be pushing it with them.
10:27This is going to be great.
10:28You know, we have to do this.
10:29And just all spiralled into kind of
10:31us having a meeting.
10:32Let's get into a room.
10:34That was all.
10:35That's all.
10:35It was test the water.
10:41I was worried about the boys' reaction.
10:44I hadn't seen them for years.
10:47There was resentment.
10:48Bitterness.
10:51I was shitting myself going into the room.
10:53Yeah, 100%.
10:53I was nervous as hell.
11:09You know, you could feel there was a lot of scars.
11:12People were unsure, unsure it was going to work,
11:16unsure they wanted to do it at all.
11:19The rage that I had with Ro.
11:21In my mind, when I saw him, I was going to fucking destroy him.
11:25I was going to abort him.
11:28Very, very, very spiky.
11:30That first moment, walking into the room again.
11:34I was filming.
11:35And when I saw his face, I could do nothing but hug the fella.
11:39Come on, let's go in.
11:40Come on, let's go in there.
11:41What's happening?
11:42Let's go down.
11:43Like, I miss you.
11:45That actually gave me a good insight to,
11:49it's not always as bad as you think in your mind.
11:52I would just like to apologise if anything I have said or done
11:55in the past seven years has hurt or affected anybody
11:58in a negative or unhappy fashion.
12:02I wasn't the reason the band broke up,
12:03but I was definitely the reason the band didn't get back together
12:05before now, and I apologise for that.
12:08I made choices that I'm not proud of.
12:11I left them behind.
12:15For success.
12:18I did have blinkers on.
12:20Yeah.
12:21Didn't end right.
12:22We need to do it right.
12:25Asking if he thought there was any scope
12:27for the band getting back together.
12:29Things haven't always been as good as they are tonight.
12:32It was great going in so successful as an actor,
12:35but every now and again you'd get a surge of memories.
12:38The audience being blown away.
12:43And you go, wow, I'd love just one more chance.
12:46Maybe this could work now if we're all really on the same page.
12:50You know, it was there for the taking.
12:53Personally, you know what I mean?
12:55I'd like to do a little something.
12:56I really fucking missed all of you.
12:59I mean, I think it's just amazing being here.
13:00I mean, it's bad.
13:02It excited me, you know?
13:05I think everyone was kind of,
13:07let's do it, let's do a tour.
13:09Let's get to see if people are bothered with Boys Zone anymore.
13:29Who's idea were those fucking outfits?
13:40Oh, my God.
13:43Our first performance in eight years.
13:46We're climbing underneath the stage
13:48to go on these trapdoors to be sprung loaded onto stage.
13:54So nervous going up in that lift
13:55and kind of going, oh, my God, I don't know where I'm going.
13:58It's like you're rubbing the headlights.
14:00You get a panic attack, you get this kind of, oh, shit.
14:05And it's amazing.
14:11I remember that excitement.
14:13How we felt in that exact moment with that countdown.
14:17You can feel the breath.
14:19You can feel the energy from the crowd.
14:21And you cannot imagine what that's like.
14:23It's unreal.
14:48I couldn't hear the first two songs, to be honest,
14:50because the crowd was so loud.
14:54I'm not there for glory.
14:56I'm there to go, look at all you people
14:59and look at the joy that we can bring you.
15:12We designed a moment.
15:13Everybody would get their own little moment.
15:15And I think that's why it felt so different.
15:20I felt a part.
15:22Of the band for the first time.
15:23You think that I don't even mean
15:27You think that I don't even mean
15:28That my efforts were being appreciated.
15:32That we could now really be a band.
15:37We'd fill each other's spaces
15:39without even thinking about it,
15:40without even looking at each other.
15:42If Shane was out far right,
15:44you know, I'd see him starting to move in.
15:46If Mikey was in the middle,
15:47and he'd move over to her,
15:48fill my space,
15:49and you'd just fill each other's voids.
15:52And it's a real art.
15:57We're back.
15:58We were back.
16:00I just felt, you know, unbelievable.
16:03That was pretty magic then.
16:06Getting the band back together.
16:12That reunion tour was huge.
16:14You know, multiple nights in arenas.
16:17Then when they got back together,
16:18they asked me to take over the managing.
16:20I was glad to be involved.
16:22I've been there since day one in the UK.
16:26And, you know,
16:27I didn't want anyone else
16:27to carry on writing those chapters.
16:30See, we're the vocal harmony group, we are.
16:33We're now a boy band, right?
16:34The plan was then to, you know,
16:36work on a new album.
16:37Everyone was in a great place.
16:41We, as a collective now,
16:43had more control over the music.
16:45For the first time,
16:46I was enjoying the music
16:48that Boyzone was doing.
16:50Took us 15 years to do that.
16:5507 to 09 were the best years of the band.
16:58We were the most comfortable
16:59in our own skin
17:00that we'd ever been.
17:01As soon as I get in a room
17:03and them boys,
17:03I'm the silliest fella I was
17:05back when I was 17, 18 years old.
17:07It's just kindergarten kids.
17:09It was absolutely brilliant
17:11to be back with those fellas.
17:12Like, nothing had changed.
17:14Like, nothing had changed.
17:16Who farted?
17:16Please.
17:17Who farted?
17:19Just seemed to share
17:20even more laughs
17:22than we had before.
17:24I don't know,
17:25just a better understanding.
17:27of each other.
17:27You've got to get this right.
17:28Come on, come on.
17:29Some people really came into their own,
17:31Stephen in particular.
17:33Hang on, let's do it again.
17:35It was the best version
17:36of him I'd ever seen.
17:37The other guys have got girls
17:39to dance with.
17:39You've got a bloke.
17:40Yeah.
17:41I'm going to have to be true
17:41to myself,
17:42and that's how it turned out.
17:43And I think it works
17:44beautifully with the song.
17:46He was looking great.
17:48He had a book going.
17:49He had met someone new.
17:51Andy.
17:52They were just in love
17:53and got married.
17:56Very happy.
17:57Everything was going as planned.
17:59Presumably you're going to be working
18:00on new music together.
18:01Four singles, a brand new song.
18:02And you have it already?
18:04Yeah, well, we think so.
18:05We had done the better tour.
18:06We had new songs for a new album,
18:08and that brother album
18:09is our finest hour.
18:11Everybody was really, really happy
18:13and in a good place.
18:14It's a blessing
18:15to be given a second chance,
18:17and I'm loving every minute of it.
18:31My phone rang.
18:33It was a solicitor
18:35by the name of Gerald Keane,
18:37who Boyzone had used
18:38in the 90s.
18:40The phone rang,
18:41picked it up,
18:43and Gerald Keane
18:44says to me,
18:49I'm sorry to tell you
18:55what Stephen has passed away.
18:59And I said,
19:00Stephen who?
19:02And
19:07he said Stephen Gately.
19:10The Boyzone singer
19:11Stephen Gately
19:12has died while on holiday
19:13on the Spanish island
19:14of Mallorca
19:15at the age of 33.
19:22I had to call Louis
19:23and the guys
19:27and give them the news.
19:31It was late.
19:33We were in the bar,
19:34we were drinking,
19:34and as I left the crowd,
19:37Ro's voice
19:38came louder
19:39in my phone.
19:40He's like,
19:41Steele, Steele,
19:41he's gone.
19:42I said,
19:43what,
19:44our Stephen?
19:45He said,
19:46yeah,
19:46he said,
19:47he's gone.
19:48It just wouldn't go in.
19:51What?
19:51No, no,
19:52not our Stephen.
19:53Now I hear him screaming.
19:56It's freaking hard.
19:57You still hear it.
20:03You can't breathe.
20:05Your legs got from under you.
20:07It would get through
20:09in little bits
20:10and then it would be complete
20:12just breakdown.
20:17My wall just fell apart.
20:24Numb.
20:31We tried to put a plan together
20:33to get down to see Steele.
20:36Our instinct was
20:37just to get together.
20:39So that force
20:41of companionship
20:42and that force of like,
20:43okay,
20:44where are you?
20:44How can I get to you?
20:45What do you need?
20:46I couldn't tell you the journey.
20:48Couldn't tell you anything.
20:49I just know
20:50we got on a fucking plane.
20:54I don't know.
21:00The body of Stephen Gately
21:01was found by police officers.
21:02So far,
21:02Gately's family have made no comments.
21:03What happened
21:04what caused Stephen Starr's death
21:05on Saturday
21:06remains unexplained.
21:08Miriam got me on a flight
21:09to Mallorca
21:10the next morning.
21:12I get out there
21:13and it is heaving.
21:18There was press everywhere.
21:20It was crazy
21:21having the boys there.
21:22They just couldn't move.
21:23It was horrible.
21:24It was horrible.
21:26The kind of cesspit
21:27of journalism
21:28that sometimes
21:28it can all descend into.
21:30Well,
21:31what can you tell us?
21:32What's the latest?
21:33Well, Karen,
21:34there's been quite a lot
21:34of movement here
21:35at the apartment.
21:35This is the apartment
21:36just beyond me here
21:37where Stephen actually
21:38passed away.
21:39Suddenly,
21:40it's immediately like,
21:42get the story.
21:45What has happened?
21:46What has happened?
21:49Nobody really speaking
21:50in the boys' own camp
21:51officially yet.
21:52But obviously,
21:52there's quite a lot
21:53of speculation
21:54behind the scenes.
21:55So then you're starting
21:56to get around the hotels
21:57and what clubs was he in
21:58and trying to put this together.
21:59He was found by police
22:01and taken here
22:01to one of the island's mortuaries.
22:03Although nothing
22:03has been confirmed
22:04officially,
22:05it's thought Gately
22:06and his partner
22:07arrived back here.
22:08You know,
22:08we've no idea
22:09what happened to him.
22:10You know,
22:11it's only what we've read
22:12and, you know,
22:13in the press and stuff.
22:15Conspiracy theories
22:15are running wild.
22:17All the reporters,
22:18they're exchanging stories.
22:19Well, I heard this
22:19and I heard that.
22:20Lots of innuendo,
22:22lots of chatter
22:23about the circumstances
22:24around his death.
22:25Some of the rubbish
22:26that was written
22:26was just horrible.
22:28The worst for me
22:29was they were saying
22:31it must have been drugs.
22:34I was, like,
22:35screaming inside
22:35because, like,
22:37I knew
22:37there was absolutely
22:38no way.
22:40It was quite incredible,
22:42the most ridiculous articles
22:44that were written.
22:45There was one in particular.
22:47Stephen's sexuality
22:48had led to his death.
22:51If he's gay,
22:52it must mean
22:53that he's got
22:54this incredibly,
22:56you know,
22:57outrageous,
22:57hidden lifestyle.
23:00Oh,
23:01he'd been out on a bender
23:02and overdosed on drugs.
23:04We were hearing
23:05everything.
23:07Having known Stephen
23:08for over a decade,
23:11he was the last man
23:12to, you know,
23:13have a hedonistic lifestyle.
23:15or a dangerous lifestyle.
23:17It's the first time
23:18I've ever looked
23:18at my own industry,
23:19my own world,
23:20what I'd been part of
23:20and gone,
23:21you scumbags.
23:23My mother
23:26found two men
23:27at the end of her bed
23:28taking pictures
23:30of my parents
23:31as they woke.
23:33Basically broke
23:34into our house
23:35and went up the stairs
23:36and took pictures.
23:40With everything
23:41that was happening,
23:42I was just waiting
23:43for the autopsy report
23:45to confirm
23:45that it was something else
23:46because I knew
23:47it was something else.
23:52Pathologists here
23:53have concluded
23:54that he did not die
23:55as a result of alcohol
23:56nor drugs.
23:58He had a heart defect
24:00that nobody knew about
24:02because of the heart defect.
24:05His lungs filled with fluid.
24:08We found out
24:09I have the same heart condition
24:11Stephen has.
24:13Funny how just,
24:14you know,
24:15a little tablet every day
24:16just sort of keeps that
24:18under control
24:18and if Stephen only knew.
24:21people didn't bother
24:22their arses
24:23to really read up
24:24on what happened.
24:25They just see
24:26the headlines
24:27in the newspapers
24:28and they just assume
24:29that he's overdosed.
24:31Oh, you're in that band
24:32with that dead guy.
24:34Did he kill himself?
24:35I've gone
24:36from naught to ten
24:37in a second
24:38at times.
24:39You want to insult
24:39my brother,
24:40I'll fucking kill you.
24:41You know,
24:42I don't care how big
24:43or strong you are.
24:44You'd have to kill me
24:45to stop me.
24:47But to hear
24:48that they were now
24:49putting like a name
24:50you know,
24:51to what he died from
24:52makes it a little bit
24:54a little bit easier
24:55just because
24:56it was just
24:57like
24:59you could breathe again
25:00you know.
25:09We brought Stephen home.
25:13Margaret Stephen's mum
25:14asked us
25:15to look after
25:16the funeral arrangements.
25:22We didn't like
25:23the idea
25:24of him being alone
25:25in the church
25:27overnight.
25:28He didn't like
25:29the cold.
25:30He didn't like
25:30being alone.
25:32So we offered
25:33to stay the night
25:34with him
25:34in the church
25:35to keep him company.
25:42When everybody else
25:44left and there was just
25:45the five of us
25:48there was a great sense
25:50of peace
25:50of unity.
25:59I don't want to say sadness
26:01because believe it or not
26:03we actually had
26:04quite a comedic night
26:07and the usual joking
26:11that used to go on
26:14in the very early days
26:16when everything was innocent
26:19and naive.
26:22For that night
26:23that emerged.
26:25emerged.
26:27We put easels
26:28all around the church
26:29of pictures of Stephen
26:31and we walked around
26:32looking at the different
26:33pictures, the different
26:33smiles, the energy
26:35in his face
26:36and we talked to him.
26:38We knew what his part
26:39would be.
26:40We all knew it.
26:41We didn't have to say it.
26:42We could feel his voice
26:43and his energy.
26:44And we joked
26:45and we laughed
26:46and we talked about
26:47old stories.
26:48And what a thing
26:49to share
26:49with those boys
26:51and with Steele
26:52those very last moments.
26:54We still had him
26:55you know
26:55in some way
26:56we still had him.
26:58Just the five of us
26:59together.
27:00And you hold on
27:01as long as you can.
27:05Yeah.
27:06But morning came around
27:07real fast.
27:16We had a mass
27:17a special mass
27:18prepared for Stephen
27:19it was really
27:20only family
27:21and the lads
27:22and friends
27:23close friends
27:23and when we
27:25turned up
27:25at the church
27:26there was people
27:27lined for miles
27:28and miles.
27:33There was
27:34an ocean
27:34of photographers
27:35as well
27:36flashing away
27:37as we were going
27:37in.
27:40So
27:41I went over
27:41to the photographers
27:42and I said
27:43you're welcome
27:43to come in.
27:44I said everybody
27:45can come in.
27:46And they all
27:46like sort of
27:47stepped up to come in
27:48and I said
27:49you can leave
27:49your cameras there
27:50and then you can
27:51come in and pay
27:52your respects.
27:54You know
27:54because he didn't
27:55pay your respect
27:55to him when he was
27:56alive.
27:58You know
28:00none of them
28:01came in.
28:02Yeah.
28:06We can only have
28:07so many in here
28:08in the church
28:08and I know
28:09we've so many
28:09many people
28:10outside
28:10so just
28:11thanks to you
28:12for coming along
28:13to share
28:14in this special
28:14day
28:15to remember
28:16Stephen.
28:17Stephen was
28:18a force
28:19to be reckoned
28:19with.
28:20A true friend
28:21full of love
28:22and friendship.
28:23He brought
28:24colour to the
28:25band
28:25and that band
28:27now simply
28:27feels black and
28:28white without him.
28:30We're going to
28:31really miss you
28:31brother.
28:32We love you.
28:34We always will.
28:43Carrying
28:44his coffin
28:45with the other
28:46guys
28:47you could have
28:48heard a pin
28:49drop
28:53and this is
28:54on a street
28:54that was
28:56the toughest
28:56part to grow
28:57up in Dublin
29:00and the height
29:01of respect
29:02that the people
29:04showed
29:04for this boy
29:06from their
29:06neighbourhood
29:09it broke
29:10me.
29:15The love
29:16he had
29:16was fucking
29:18gorgeous
29:18to witness.
29:20It's a rare
29:21thing.
29:22Everybody loved
29:22him.
29:24He was a true
29:25pop star.
29:26He loved life.
29:28You know
29:29he paved the way
29:30for so many
29:30to know it was
29:31okay.
29:32I mean
29:34that's not a
29:34legacy what is.
29:37When I think
29:38of Stephen
29:39all I can see
29:40is
29:42him being
29:43like four years
29:44of age
29:44with his
29:46little t-shirt
29:46on with
29:47Miss Piggy
29:47on the front
29:48of it.
29:49Very innocent
29:50and shy
29:51and just
29:52looking up
29:53wanting to
29:54give you his
29:55hand for you
29:56to just take
29:56him.
29:57Just so
29:58lovable
29:58and kind
29:59and
30:01you know
30:03just a lovely
30:04person.
30:16It felt
30:18better
30:18to be
30:20in each
30:21other's
30:22company
30:22than not
30:24to be.
30:33We decided
30:34that maybe
30:34you know
30:34the right
30:35thing to do
30:35in Stephen's
30:36memory is
30:36to keep
30:37going.
30:42Shouldn't
30:42have.
30:44The
30:45dynamic
30:45changed
30:46what it
30:46felt like
30:47to be
30:47in the
30:47band.
30:49Sometimes
30:50it was
30:50hard just
30:50to do
30:51the gig
30:51the three
30:52fellas
30:53and one
30:53missing.
30:56The void
30:57was massive
30:58and it
30:59made you
30:59feel so
30:59self-conscious.
31:00It made you
31:01feel like
31:01we were
31:02shit.
31:02It made
31:02you feel
31:03that the
31:04audience
31:04just wasn't
31:05buying us
31:05anymore
31:06you know.
31:10We went
31:10on and
31:11off over
31:12the years
31:12that followed.
31:14Ten
31:15years.
31:16A couple
31:17of tours.
31:19Never
31:20felt the
31:20same.
31:21For me
31:22it wasn't
31:23until he
31:23was gone
31:24that I
31:24realised
31:24how much
31:25he was
31:26the glue
31:27that kept
31:27a lot
31:27of the
31:28band
31:28together.
31:31Whilst
31:31Boysen
31:32were still
31:32being
31:32successful
31:33still
31:33selling
31:34a lot
31:34of
31:34tickets
31:34still
31:35touring
31:35all over
31:35the world
31:37to me
31:38it felt
31:39as if
31:39it was
31:40time to
31:41take a
31:41break
31:42but rather
31:43than splitting
31:43up and
31:44falling
31:44out
31:45announce
31:46the
31:47farewell
31:47tour.
31:48I'm not
31:49saying
31:49anything
31:49is flagging
31:50anything
31:50but I'm
31:51just
31:51staying
31:52It got
31:54more and
31:54more
31:54intense
31:55and
31:56relationships
31:58broke down
31:59within the
32:00band.
32:01I spotted
32:02arrogance
32:03the growth
32:04of ego.
32:07It just
32:08became hard
32:09work.
32:11People
32:12started
32:12just behaving
32:13fucking
32:14badly
32:17and when
32:17that
32:18happens
32:19something's
32:20going to
32:20give.
32:22It came
32:23to a
32:24head
32:25in
32:262019.
32:29I saw
32:29it all.
32:30I was ready
32:30to get the
32:30fuck out
32:31of there.
32:33It's when
32:33the band
32:34imploded.
32:40I'm always
32:41ready for
32:42it.
32:42You know
32:43what I mean?
32:542019 was a
32:55tough tour.
32:56We went
32:57everywhere.
33:00I got a
33:01sense that
33:02towards the
33:03end people
33:03were just
33:04holding on
33:04tight,
33:05enjoying the
33:05ride,
33:06having fun.
33:08When I
33:08can't.
33:12I can't,
33:12I can't.
33:13I've got to
33:13sing every
33:13day.
33:14I've got to
33:14last two
33:14hours on
33:15stage and
33:15I've got to
33:16be able to
33:16perform.
33:17And in
33:18Tokyo, I
33:19just felt the
33:20piss was
33:20being taken.
33:27If you're
33:28coming tonight,
33:28have a great
33:29time because
33:29we certainly
33:30are going to
33:30have a
33:30fantastic
33:31time.
33:32See you
33:32later.
33:33I always
33:34found going
33:34on stage a
33:35bit of a
33:36party anyway.
33:37It's everyone
33:37out there is
33:38having a great
33:38time.
33:39I needed a
33:40great time
33:40too.
33:41I mean,
33:41they had been
33:41out all day
33:42and they
33:42were drinking
33:42all day and
33:45yeah, it was
33:46messy.
33:51We've
33:51certainly
33:53partied a
33:53little harder
33:54than we
33:54usually did.
34:03it was the
34:04end of the
34:05road.
34:08I think that
34:10they interpreted
34:11me as
34:12seeing their
34:13carry-on as
34:15infantile.
34:18That is how I
34:20see it.
34:22I'm sure
34:23if you talk
34:23to any one
34:23of the fans
34:24at any one
34:25of those
34:25shows,
34:26they'll tell
34:26you that
34:27they had
34:27the best
34:27night of
34:27their lives.
34:28It was the
34:29worst.
34:30It was the
34:30worst I had
34:31seen in all
34:33of our years.
34:38So I went
34:39at the mall,
34:40told them how
34:40I felt.
34:41It was a
34:42tennis match.
34:43From that
34:43guy to that
34:44guy to that
34:45guy, you're
34:46not pulling
34:46your weight
34:46like I'm
34:47pulling my
34:47weight.
34:48The job is
34:48always done,
34:49you know.
34:50He's done a
34:50great job and
34:52we did our
34:52job the way
34:53we did.
34:54You know, I
34:54gave it all
34:56at my
34:57detriment.
34:58I gave
34:58everything.
34:59To be the
35:00lead man, you
35:00take on most
35:01of the work.
35:02Don't complain
35:03about us
35:03who aren't
35:04working as
35:05hard.
35:05We don't have
35:06the opportunity.
35:07It's very
35:08different.
35:09You were the
35:10dude who wanted
35:10to be in the
35:10front, so take
35:12your fucking
35:12role and do
35:13it.
35:14It had
35:14reached a
35:16complete stage
35:17of malignancy.
35:21I had enough.
35:23The next night,
35:24there was a
35:25clash between
35:25Keith and
35:25Mikey in the
35:26dressing room.
35:27There were
35:27things that
35:28happened that
35:30were cruel.
35:33and I'm
35:34not going
35:35to express
35:36any more
35:36than that.
35:37My mother
35:37always said,
35:38if you haven't
35:38got anything
35:39nice to say,
35:39don't say
35:40anything at all.
35:43We left
35:43Japan.
35:45Some of us
35:46not talking
35:48with each
35:48other, and
35:50yet we still
35:50had to do
35:51the final
35:53five nights
35:54nights in
35:56the Palladium.
36:04All the
36:04venues we
36:05played, however
36:05big the
36:06venue might
36:07have been,
36:07we always
36:08shared a
36:08dressing room.
36:10Always
36:10shared a
36:11dressing room.
36:12And when we
36:13turned up at
36:13the Palladium,
36:16our names
36:17were on
36:17different
36:18doors.
36:19We lasted
36:2025 years
36:21flying on
36:22the same
36:22plane, in
36:23the same
36:23cars, in
36:24the same
36:24room.
36:26And the
36:27final five
36:27shows that
36:28we were
36:28ever going
36:29to do,
36:30we were
36:31going to
36:31do it on
36:31our own.
36:35We went
36:36through the
36:36motions, got
36:37through the
36:37five shows.
36:38A very, very
36:39big anti-climax.
36:40There was no
36:42Hollabaloo,
36:42there was no
36:43group hug,
36:44there was no
36:46well done,
36:47there was no
36:47one from the
36:48record company
36:48walking on
36:49stage with a
36:4910x platinum
36:51disc and
36:51saying thanks
36:52for everything.
36:54I just
36:55wanted to get
36:55out of there.
36:58Get away from
36:59that toxic
37:01environment.
37:03The realisation
37:04came that this
37:05is the end of
37:05the road.
37:07It's over.
37:21I haven't seen
37:22anybody since that
37:23night.
37:29That's when I
37:29began to
37:30understand I
37:31need to make
37:32some changes,
37:33you know.
37:42I've spent the
37:43last 10 years
37:43saying yes,
37:45looking after
37:45everyone else,
37:47making sure
37:47everyone else is
37:48alright, but only
37:49now am I saying
37:49no.
37:50No, I've got to
37:51think of me.
37:54So that I can be
37:55here to watch my
37:56children grow up.
38:00For me
38:00personally, I
38:02wouldn't be able
38:02to survive in
38:03that world anymore.
38:04I had to get
38:05out and I
38:06cannot do that
38:07to my family,
38:08go back in
38:08there.
38:12It's an
38:12addictive drug.
38:15Because I took a
38:17back seat for
38:18such a long time
38:18over my career,
38:20I feel that I
38:21still have so much
38:21left to prove to
38:22myself.
38:25It's a real
38:26head fuck.
38:28We've all moved
38:29on.
38:30I've got Westlife,
38:31you know, I've
38:32had a great career
38:33in music, so I'm
38:35happy.
38:37I wouldn't have
38:38changed anything.
38:39It wasn't perfect,
38:41but it was perfect
38:41for me.
38:44Am I done?
38:47I'm going to go,
38:48I'm going to run.
38:54The music and
38:55the stage and
38:57the lights, I
38:58can leave that
38:58behind, but the
39:01friendship, I
39:02think, is what it
39:03is more than
39:04anything else.
39:07As much as we
39:08had had enough
39:09of being around
39:10each other.
39:10Hello, hello.
39:12Yay, boys.
39:14I couldn't bear to
39:15lose any of the
39:15boys.
39:16I hope you
39:16haven't been here
39:17too long.
39:18All the fucking
39:18morning.
39:19All morning.
39:19I can't put his
39:20glasses on.
39:21Too close, too close.
39:24How are you?
39:25Good to see you.
39:25You look like
39:26Jane, Elson, John.
39:27Oh, man, that's
39:27mad.
39:28You're blind as a
39:29bat.
39:29I have a lot of
39:30anxiety and I feel
39:31a lot of the pain,
39:34stuff that we've all
39:35gone through.
39:37But put me together
39:37with them, and that
39:38doesn't exist.
39:39Looking well, as
39:40always.
39:40You too.
39:42Where did you get
39:42it?
39:46Kindergarten
39:47kids.
39:50As soon as they
39:51walk in the room,
39:51it's like we've
39:52never left.
39:53No, no, here we
39:53go, here we go,
39:54here we go.
39:55My head's better than
39:55yours, and I'm
39:56keeping it.
39:56Cheers, lads.
39:57Cheers.
39:58It's like we're
39:59frozen in time.
40:07I wish them the
40:08absolute best in
40:09their lives.
40:10I wish them nothing
40:11but happiness.
40:12I hold no grudges,
40:14no animosity,
40:16nothing.
40:20However, I don't
40:22want to go back
40:26to how I felt
40:27for many years.
40:30And to see them,
40:33if it were for too
40:34long, would remind
40:37me of that.
40:38And my future is far
40:41too important to me
40:44to waste it,
40:46looking back at my
40:47past.
40:49But I wish everybody
40:50well.
40:53For me, one of the
40:55biggest regrets is
40:56that I clashed a lot
40:58with Mikey.
40:59And me and him are
41:00very, very alike.
41:01The amount of time
41:03that we didn't get on,
41:04that took its toll on me
41:06as a human being.
41:07You know what I mean?
41:07It's really sad, the time
41:08wasted, yeah.
41:09But you can't get
41:10those years back.
41:11It didn't have to be
41:12that way.
41:14If we all
41:16had have had
41:17better skills
41:19at understanding
41:21each other better.
41:23We're boys
41:24and we're men
41:25and we don't talk
41:27like that.
41:28It was never in me
41:28to go,
41:29oh, lads,
41:29I don't feel great today.
41:31It doesn't exist
41:32in a man's world.
41:33I wish it had.
41:35I have parked
41:36all of that emotion.
41:37But we were kids,
41:38Ro.
41:38We were kids.
41:39I was incredibly insecure.
41:41Ro, I think we all were.
41:43You know what I mean?
41:43Like that's,
41:44they were fundamental years
41:45of, you know,
41:46growth.
41:47Multimental.
41:48Mental.
41:49Fun.
41:50Fun.
41:50Fun.
41:53There's nothing
41:54more therapeutic
41:55than reminiscing
41:57about the best times
41:58of your life.
41:59It reminds you
42:00of how lucky
42:01you have been.
42:02The RDS show,
42:03the first biggest show
42:04back in the RDS,
42:05I'm looking back at that,
42:06you know,
42:06the song that I used to do
42:07when I pulled my trousers off.
42:08Have you been?
42:08It's hard to fucking fathom.
42:10Do you know what I mean?
42:10Can you remember
42:11the times with Steele?
42:12Fucking catapult.
42:13Yeah, I know.
42:14Slingshot back
42:14to the fucking 90s.
42:15I remember being in Kuala Lumpur
42:17and I didn't know
42:17if that was South America
42:18or Asia.
42:19You and I
42:19with our ghetto blaster
42:20listening to bleeding Enya,
42:22you know,
42:22in 94, 95.
42:24Don't tell anyone.
42:24Hip-hop, man.
42:25Hip-hop.
42:31I am so grateful
42:33for all that I have endured
42:36and experienced,
42:37good and bad,
42:38because it's brought me
42:40to be the man I am today.
42:45Every single day,
42:46I have something
42:47to do with music.
42:49Waking up
42:50with a spring
42:52in my step.
42:54The guy before
42:56I joined Boys Own
42:57was slim,
42:58healthy,
42:59fit,
43:00full of vitality,
43:02full of confidence,
43:03full of passion.
43:07That's the guy
43:08that's returning.
43:13There's a great sense
43:14of liberation.
43:19Ready?
43:20Lovely, Harlan.
43:21How's pennies?
43:24I think we'll always be
43:26what we always are.
43:29And that's
43:30brothers in arms.
43:31Oh, cheating!
43:33Cheating!
43:33Sorry!
43:34Boys who grew up
43:35on the fucking
43:35north side of Dublin
43:36that got catapulted
43:38around the world.
43:40Yep!
43:41There could have been,
43:42you know,
43:44a million other lads
43:45in Ireland
43:45that got in that band.
43:47But I don't think
43:48they would have been
43:49as fucked up
43:50as the five of us were.
43:52And that's what
43:53made us brilliant.
43:56And when you think
43:57about it,
43:58starting off playing
43:58in front of 25 people
44:00on the back of a truck
44:01to playing to
44:03100,000 people
44:04in Hyde Park.
44:05How amazing was that?
44:07It's a hell of a ride.
44:09Success.
44:11And all of the good times
44:14really do outweigh
44:15all the bad times.
44:18These boys are my boys
44:20and I will love them
44:21forever in a day.
44:24And when we're together,
44:26Stephen Gately is alive again.
44:27And that's what's
44:28the most special part.
44:31We did have a great laugh.
44:36And it's like
44:36looking back at a picture
44:39saying,
44:39God, this is amazing.
44:46That's our story.
44:47It was a good one.
44:52They came to you
44:53and asked you,
44:53shall we get back together
44:54and do a reunion show?
44:55What would you say?
44:58Wow.
44:59Wow, that's a question.
45:04Look, I'd be lying to you
45:05if I said
45:06there isn't a spark
45:08of excitement in my mind.
45:10People as far as the eye can see
45:12and the roar of the crowd.
45:14That?
45:15Yeah, I would love
45:16to experience that again.
45:18Who wouldn't?
45:20But there's so much more
45:22going on backstage.
45:23So perhaps to leave
45:25well enough alone.
45:28Or
45:29maybe.
45:31I know I said
45:31I'll never go on tour again.
45:32But they stayed there
45:33going on tour.
45:34I'm not getting left behind.
45:35You're mad.
45:36Who knows?
46:06I'm not getting left behind.
46:06I know I am saying
46:06it ain't me.
46:14Transcription by CastingWords
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