- 19 minuti fa
Conferenza dell'E3 2018 di Devolver Digital.
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00:02Il futuro di videogame!
00:32Il futuro di oggi, il nuovo CEO di Davulverdigitale, Cinco Miller!
00:40Oh, grazie!
00:45That's what I like to hear!
00:47Keep it going, keep it going, keep it going full speed!
00:57And...
00:59Yes! Boom! Look at that!
01:03Thank you, guys!
01:05Thank you!
01:06And thank you so much for coming to our little shindig here at the Dave Lang Memorial Theatre!
01:14What an event, am I right?
01:16Big deal!
01:18Hecking big deal!
01:20And give it all the way up for the expo, everybody!
01:27And...
01:29Yes! Look at that!
01:32That's all you!
01:34You're killing it!
01:36Killing it!
01:38And you know what?
01:40So are we!
01:42So are we!
01:44Lots of changes at Davulver since the last time we were here!
01:47Lots of changes!
01:48Lots of progress!
01:51Synergies aligned!
01:54Efficiencies modulated!
01:56New management in a bold new direction!
02:00And we couldn't have done any of that without all of you!
02:05We've stepped it up, you guys!
02:07Stepped it all the way up!
02:12We've examined the industry and our place in it!
02:15We've worked hard to widen our excellence perimeter, engender fiscal aptitude, and re-intermediate intuitive strategies to promote cutting-edge,
02:31principle-centered, future-tested, high-impact, end-to-end mononectal alignment in the center sphere with a total linkage methodology
02:41concentration on our player base!
02:44And guys, I think what we've come up with is pretty exciting!
02:50You all know what's coming! I can't keep it a secret from you any longer!
02:54Guys, I am so excited to debut right here on this very stage!
03:00Devolver Digital's first foray into the Battle Royale play space!
03:04Battle Royale F2W!
03:06Yeah!
03:07What a play space, am I right?
03:09A play space that we believe is the future's future!
03:14Future!
03:15Shut your mouths, you miserable piece of human garbage!
03:18Oh shit!
03:20Let's get this nonsense started!
03:27I read on the internet this one time that some of you had some proper shit to say about our
03:34press conference last year.
03:36That it wasn't professional.
03:39That it didn't feel like a real video games conference by a real video games publisher what publishes real video
03:46games.
03:46That it was all some kind of joke.
03:50Joke.
03:53Well, you were super wrong.
03:56And to prove it, we have ramped up this year's Jiminy thinger to include everything that you might expect from
04:05a production of this magnitude.
04:07This year, we have overly flashy graphics to distract you from mundane dialogue.
04:16Guest appearances from personalities that you can recognize and project some misplaced familiarity onto because you have seen them in
04:25videos on the internet.
04:27And whose appearance will serve to light up a predictable nostalgia response and it is 2018 and that is how
04:35marketing is done now.
04:36We also have this little guy faking like he's playing a new game on the screen despite it clearly being
04:45a pre-scripted sequence meticulously planned out and pre-recorded months in advance.
04:52But what stood out most of all, what really stood out in the flaming trash pile idiot island in the
05:01unending ocean of unrequested feedback from last year's press conference was that you simpletons.
05:08Yes, you, you stinking bug fuck shit minions seem to think that we didn't provide enough new games, reveals, first
05:19looks or whatever else you think might have made your dumb little life a little less pointless in that one
05:25moment on the internet that one time.
05:26And that, that hit us right in the feels.
05:32So this year, we are bringing you those new games, those first looks, those reveals for projects that you never
05:43thought possible.
05:45The first is from Gamepires. It is their Supermax Survival Sim Scum. You should buy it. It is going to
05:55make us huge numbers. It's probably pretty great, but I won't know because I do not play any of this
06:01garbage. Roll the garbage!
06:10Scum Season 2 is gearing up with Tech 1's most violent defenders on display in our award-winning survival broadcast.
06:18With over three times as many drones, viewers will enjoy the contestants' most intimate moments.
06:25New weapons and gear elevate the action. But it's the trademark paranoia that drives the savagery to new heights, making
06:34scum a thrill for the entire family. Fear not. Tech 1 security is on site to keep contestants in line.
06:43Oh my.
06:45And of course, fan favorite Mr. Smiles is back again for rule enforcement.
06:51One, two, threat has been terminated.
06:56Scum. Welcome to the next era in Supermax Survival.
07:11All contestant corpses will be reused in Scum for government regulations.
07:22Well, that looks like a hell of a lot of fun for the kids, am I right?
07:26Go to scumgame.com for more information, or don't, if I get paid either way.
07:32Up next, we have Devolver Digital's newest bleeding edge technology innovation.
07:43Loot boxes.
07:45Loot boxes.
07:47Loot boxes have made headlines over the past year.
07:49And you, the moronic gobbling maw of consumer idiocy that you are, have shown little to no regret in just
07:57plain dumping your money into this deeply insulting monetization model.
08:01At the same time, in parallel, it seems we have seen cryptocurrencies roll in and jackpunch the global socioeconomic landscape
08:10right in the sweetness.
08:12Creating an entirely new culture of massively unqualified financial experts with absolutely no idea what the shit they are talking
08:22about.
08:22If there is one thing at Devolver Digital that we love, it is talking confidently about important issues we are
08:31completely ignorant about and then fleecing fat stacks of cash out of an uninformed marketplace that really should know better.
08:40Ladies and gentlemen, I am thrilled to introduce you to our newest product.
08:49Loot box coin.
08:55Loot box coin is the world's first cryptocurrency that is so fucking secure, not even the owners know its actual
09:05value.
09:06Totally unregulated and absent of all civil, governmental, international, personal, or institutional liability.
09:16Loot box coin aims to become the global standard in meaningless wealth acquisition and questionable financial stability.
09:24Loot box coin cannot be mined, cannot be opened, cannot be blockchained, cannot be walleted or crypto verified.
09:35It can only be bought through Devolver Digital with real, actual money you have in your actual bank account.
09:50Upon purchase, one of our hastily trained economists will create and send you an actual, physical loot box coin just
10:01like the one I am holding right here in my motherfucking hand.
10:04What is it worth?
10:05What is it worth?
10:06I don't know.
10:07What can you buy with it?
10:08Probably nothing.
10:10Does the US government consider it a form of gambling?
10:14Fuck if I care.
10:16Loot box coin is available now on the Devolver Digital online store for a price that changes every hour on
10:24the hour for no discernible reason.
10:27Don't believe me?
10:28We will go fire up a browser and check it out.
10:38Up next, we have a game that some of you may have seen on the socials via hilariously violent GIFs
10:46from developer Dead Toast and-
10:48It's pronounced GIFs.
10:54Pardon me?
10:55Yeah, GIFs.
10:57You said GIFs.
10:59It's an acronym.
11:00Acronyms pronunciation is determined by the creator of the said acronym, like a proper name.
11:06In this case, the creator of the graphics interchange format, Steve Wilhite, says it's GIFs.
11:13Choosy developers choose GIFs.
11:25Anyway, here's my friend Pedro.
11:30I've never been particularly fond of violence.
11:33But these are bad people.
11:35Bad people that need to be stopped.
11:37So let's get crazy.
11:38Let's get weird.
11:40Let's get, well, bananas.
11:43called poils,
11:49hit your arrows and how to radiance.
12:11If you couldn't go too far away,
12:26Grazie a tutti.
13:05Grazie a tutti.
13:13The past few years, we have seen a new trend in gaming hardware.
13:19Companies reaching deep into their back catalogs to construct cute as fuck little miniature fun-sized versions of their legacy
13:30hardware.
13:31Overflowing with classic games of yesteryear, asking you to pay a ridiculous premium for games that you owned 20 years
13:38ago and will be utterly disappointed by playing again today.
13:42Somehow, you all are buying these things up en masse.
13:47You are paying triple sticker price to some creep selling them out of the back of his car next to
13:53a dumpster out behind Taco Bell.
13:56And not the nice Taco Bell, but the sketchy one that sells fried chicken and pizza and always smells faintly
14:04of a mop bucket filled with purple drink and puke.
14:07You love these little nostalgic cash grabs and we have no fucking idea why.
14:15But who are we to pass up on this unique opportunity to separate you from your money?
14:24Margaret!
14:33I would like you to meet the Devolver Digital Entertainment System Classic.
14:48This adorable box of plastic and nostalgia comes preloaded with 25 of your favorite classic Devolver games.
14:59Jeffrey!
15:00Yes, Mother?
15:01Drop that super legit live demo game controller and come on up here.
15:05Show these people the magic that is the Devolver Digital Entertainment System Classic.
15:13The Devolver Digital Entertainment System Classic packs an SFPGA processor by Swedish manufacturer Lockhead AB.
15:21This is a Sega Dreamcast.
15:23Shut up, Jeffrey.
15:24Rocking a...
15:25You repainted a Sega Dreamcast.
15:27Just putting it out there.
15:28Look, these aren't even plugged into anything.
15:33This is a Metal Wolf Chaos disc that was only released on the Xbox.
15:37It's not even a Devolver game.
15:38And it's Japanese and not real also.
15:41So.
15:42Margaret.
15:47Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
15:49Hey, hey, whoa.
15:50Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, stop, stop, stop.
15:52Hey, stop, stop.
15:56Now, it is time for our last game reveal of the universe.
16:01I know, I know, but this one, this one will really get the blood flow into your nethers.
16:10It is 2004.
16:12I am taking you on a journey to 2004.
16:17Our good friends at From Software released a game that unbeknownst to them
16:24would lay the very foundation for the modern American political landscape.
16:30This, this game, this motherfucking legendary piece of cold-rolled amazing
16:41was forged in the most sacred elements of video game development.
16:47Mechs, explosions, and overly dramatic voice acting.
16:52Ladies, gentlemen, holy fucking shit.
16:58May I present to you, From Software's 2004 Masterclass in Democratic Mech Warfare,
17:05Metal Wolf Chaos!
17:24Let's party!
17:29Welcome to the White House.
17:37Michael!
17:44Richard!
17:45John!
17:47John!
17:55Grazie a tutti!
18:28Grazie a tutti!
18:56Grazie a tutti!
19:05Grazie a tutti!
19:14Grazie a tutti!
19:30Grazie a tutti!
19:31Grazie a tutti!
19:40Grazie a tutti!
19:45Grazie a tutti!
19:47Grazie a tutti!
19:58Grazie a tutti!
20:02Grazie a tutti!
20:05Grazie a tutti!
20:40Grazie a tutti!
21:11Grazie a tutti!
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