00:00So, you have arrived in France, you have unpacked your bags and you have two immediate realizations.
00:08First, the bread, it is excellent, you taste it, you have a kindergarten flashback,
00:14you weep, you gain six pounds, you don't care.
00:18Second, France views a forest not as nature but as a future stack of forms waiting to be stamped.
00:27Sooner or later, the Republic looks at you over spectacles made of skepticism and says
00:34Bonjour, I see you wish to operate a motor vehicle, that's cute.
00:40Do you have the dossier?
00:42Because in France, driving isn't just transport, it is a five-act play involving tragedy, comedy
00:50and a chorus of civil servants singing Nooooooo.
00:55So, in this video, I will answer all the big questions when it comes to driving in France as a
01:02foreigner.
01:03Can you drive with your foreign license? For how long?
01:06Can you swap it for a French license?
01:09Or must you take a test designed by the vengeful ghost of a squirrel?
01:13And, let's not forget, buying a car. The vehicle inspection, the pollution stickers, the insurance.
01:21How to avoid buying a Peugeot that is actually three washing machines in a trench coat.
01:27Speaking of Peugeot, before you do anything, you must channel your inner detective.
01:33Not one accompanied by a basset hound, a sad detective, a noir detective.
01:41So, get your notepad out.
01:44Is your license EU, EEA or is it other?
01:48If you have an EU license, congratulations, you are the chosen one.
01:53Go forth, be free.
01:55If you have a non-EU license, France becomes emotionally distant.
02:01Indeed, my country then looks at your license the way a cat looks at a vegan sausage.
02:08You thought this would fool me?
02:10I pity you, human.
02:11Also, are you a tourist or are you caught in the net?
02:16France makes a massive distinction between visiting, spending money and then leaving,
02:23and rƩsidence normale.
02:25It sounds like a polite medical condition, but it basically means
02:30we have seen you buying furniture.
02:33You live here now, you are ours.
02:36If you are a resident, the clock has started ticking.
02:40Can you hear it?
02:41It sounds like a stamp hitting a desk.
02:44Can you drive with your foreign license?
02:47If you are a short-term visitor, generally, yes, you can drive.
02:53However, France, being a lover of props, sometimes demands accessories.
03:00They might want an official translation or an international driving permit, IDP.
03:07The IDP sounds glamorous, international driving permit.
03:10You imagine a leather-bound folio.
03:13In reality, it is a grey cardboard booklet that looks like it was printed in 1952,
03:19during a paper shortage, and it has your photo in it looking startled.
03:25It effectively says this person can drive, allegedly.
03:30The takeaway?
03:31Do not assume your plastic card is enough.
03:35If a gendarme stops you and you don't have the translation,
03:40the conversation will be polite.
03:42But, deep down, you will be in a great deal of French peril.
03:47If you have settled in France with a non-EU license, your license acts like Cinderella's carriage.
03:55It is valid for one year, from the day you arrive or get your residency permit.
04:02After 365 days, at midnight, it turns into a pumpkin.
04:07If you drive on day 366, you are driving without a license.
04:15You are a criminal driving a pumpkin.
04:19You have two different paths.
04:21Exchange it, the path of joy.
04:23Pass the French tests, the path of sorrow.
04:27But here is a crucial point.
04:30Exchange depends on reciprocity.
04:33Does France like your country?
04:36Did your country sign a treaty with France?
04:38If you are from certain US states, or Australia, or the UK, you can exchange.
04:46If you are from California, non, France doesn't care for your sunshine.
04:51So, step one is not buy a car.
04:55Step one is, does the French administration speak to my DMV,
04:59or are they giving them the silent treatment?
05:03Exchanging your license.
05:05If you can exchange, you go to a website called ANTS.
05:10Yes, ANTS, like the things that ruin picnics.
05:13It stands for Agence Nationale des Titres SƩcurisƩs.
05:18They will ask for ID, proof of residence, such as an electricity bill.
05:23Yes, France is obsessed with electricity bills.
05:26It is the only proof that you exist in space and time.
05:30They will also ask for your foreign license, a translation, and your first born child.
05:36Start the process early.
05:38Do not do this in month 11.
05:41France does not reward efficiency.
05:43France rewards early compliance and quiet desperation.
05:48If you cannot exchange, then I'm so, so sorry, but you must take the French driving test.
05:55This consists of two parts designed to break the human spirit.
06:01Part 1.
06:02Le code.
06:03The theory.
06:04You sit in a room.
06:05They show you a slide.
06:07It is a picture of a road, a cloud, a grandmother, and a nuclear explosion.
06:13The question is, the grandmother is on fire.
06:16Do you ?
06:17A. Honk.
06:18B. Slow down.
06:20C. Consider the fleeting nature of time.
06:23You must get 35 out of 40 correct.
06:27Part 2.
06:28La conduite.
06:29The practical test.
06:31You must drive next to an examiner who has seen everything, is impressed by nothing,
06:37and is quietly judging your gear changes.
06:41Aha, but there is a loophole.
06:42There are indeed minimum training hours.
06:46But, an automatic license requires fewer hours, 13, than a manual, 20.
06:54If you are thinking, but I want to feel the gear stick, I want to be one with the machine.
07:00Stop it.
07:01Let the ego go.
07:03Do you want to drive, or do you want to be cool?
07:06It will cost you about 1500 euros to 2000.
07:11Yes, I know.
07:12For that money, you could buy a very friendly donkey.
07:16But, once you have the French permis de conduire, you are practically French.
07:21You can complain about the weather with authority.
07:25So, here we are now, buying a used car.
07:28A used car is not a machine, it is a backstory.
07:32Sometimes, it is a crime novel.
07:34When you buy a used car, you need these documents like you need oxygen.
07:39La carte grise.
07:41This is the car's identity card.
07:43Check the name.
07:44If the seller says, it's my cousin's car, he is currently exploring the Amazon, walk away.
07:51You have one month to get the carte grise in your name.
07:56You do this online.
07:58And, again, hello insects.
08:00The cost, it depends on the amount of chevaux fiscaux, fiscal horsepower.
08:06Do not guess the price.
08:09Guessing the price of French administration is like guessing the weather in Brittany.
08:14You will be confident, you will be wrong, and you will end up wet.
08:18Use the official simulator website you see on screen right now, which I am not going to read aloud.
08:25Thank you very much.
08:26You will also need le certificat de cession.
08:30This is the I am selling this to you form.
08:33It is the transfer of the curse from private seller to private seller.
08:39Also, le certificat de non-gage.
08:42Although this sounds like a medieval spell, this actually means the car is not in debt.
08:48The car is not wanted by the police.
08:52And le contrƓle technique, the CT.
08:55This is the holy grail.
08:57The seller must provide a CT report less than six months old.
09:02If they say, oh, but the CT is fine, it just needs a little bulb changed.
09:08I didn't have time to print it.
09:10Well, then their pants are on fire because they are liars.
09:15No CT doesn't mean small problem.
09:18It means this car is held together by rust and blind luck.
09:23Read the report.
09:24Let's talk about insurance, also known as the protection racket.
09:29Insurance is mandatory.
09:31Even if the car just sits in the driveway acting as a home for spiders, it must be insured.
09:38You can be insured au tiers, civil liability.
09:43This covers the damage you do to other people.
09:46I'm sorry I hit your poodle, here is some money.
09:49My car is ruined and I will now weep in my croissant crumbs.
09:53You can also be insured as tout risque, comprehensive.
09:58If you hit a tree, the insurance pays for your car and for the tree.
10:03Insurers might ask for your driving history from back home.
10:08If you can get a letter from your old insurer saying,
10:12he's a good boy, he has not crashed much and only drove over three pigeons,
10:17it can lower your price.
10:20Shop around.
10:21Prices vary wildly.
10:24It is a bazaar.
10:25Treat it like one.
10:27What about maintenance?
10:28I already see you ask in the comment section.
10:32Well, here is the control technique rhythm.
10:35You have to do it every two years.
10:38Looking for a mechanic?
10:40Find a good local garage.
10:42When you find a good one, keep him.
10:45Send him cards, bake him cakes.
10:48He's more important than your doctor.
10:50Your doctor can only save your life.
10:53Your mechanic can save your weekend.
10:55And speaking of repairs, we need to talk about something you will hear constantly in France.
11:02La RĆ©vision.
11:03La RĆ©vision is the scheduled service.
11:07Oil, filters, fluids, brakes, checks, sometimes the bigger,
11:11please don't let my engine explode items.
11:15It is not the same thing as the Controle Technique.
11:19The Controle Technique is, is this vehicle legally allowed to exist in society?
11:25La RĆ©vision is, can this vehicle survive another year without starting a new life as a roadside sculpture?
11:33Also, if you buy used, ask about the Carnet d'Entretien and invoices.
11:40Not because we are trying to be fancy, but because if there is no proof of servicing,
11:46you might discover, later, that the timing belt is older than your relationship with France.
11:53And that is a very expensive form of cultural immersion.
11:58Let's have a word about critĆØres, the stickers of judgement.
12:03These are colored stickers for your windshield that tells the world how much your car pollutes.
12:10Green or purple, I am an electric angel.
12:14I save the planet.
12:16Yellow or orange, I am okay, but I have vices.
12:21Grey, unclassified, I am a monster.
12:24I cough, smoke, I am banned from Paris.
12:27If you drive in a zone Ć faible Ć©mission, or ZFE, low emission zone, like Paris, Lyon, Grenoble,
12:36you need this sticker.
12:38If you don't have it, you get a fine.
12:41Order it from the official government site, the address is on screen,
12:45and the stickers cost about 4 euros.
12:48Don't be a miser, get the sticker.
12:52Now, a final survival note, the two things you should have in your car.
12:58France expects you to have certain safety items present in your car,
13:04like a high visibility vest and a warning triangle.
13:08These are neither exciting nor cinematic, but they are mandatory.
13:13It is one of those things where you do not want to learn the rule during a roadside conversation
13:19with someone wearing a hat of authority.
13:22Buy them.
13:23Put them in the car.
13:24Forget about them forever, like emergency wine.
13:28So, there you have it.
13:30The road map through the madness.
13:33Check your license.
13:35EU or non-EU.
13:37Check the clock.
13:38Are you a resident?
13:39Exchange or test?
13:41Do not wait.
13:42The ants are hungry.
13:45Buy the car.
13:46Get the CT.
13:47Trust no one.
13:49Get the sticker or Paris will reject you like a bad oyster.
13:54Drive safe.
13:55Bon courage.
13:56And seriously, eat the bread.
13:58Thank you very much for watching.
14:01I love you all.
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