00:00Two can be as bad as one.
00:03You know, we're always happy to see you, donkey.
00:06But Fiona and I are married now.
00:08We need a little time, you know, to be together.
00:14Just with each other.
00:18Alone.
00:19Say no more, say no more, you don't have to worry about a thing.
00:21I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you.
00:25Hey, that's not funny.
00:26Hey, that's really immature.
00:27That's really immature.
00:29See, this is why nobody likes ogres.
00:31See, this is why nobody likes ogres.
00:31Alright, you're lost.
00:32Alright, you're lost.
00:33I'm gonna just stop talking.
00:34Finally.
00:36And I'm just so darn bored.
00:38Well, find a way to entertain yourself.
00:58You're lost.
01:01You're lost.
01:02Uh...
01:03Why don't you guys go ahead?
01:04I'll park the...
01:05Run.
01:07Don't tell me you don't know who I am.
01:11Thanks for waiting.
01:12You know, I had the hardest time finding this place.
01:14No.
01:14No.
01:15Bad donkey.
01:16Bad.
01:16Down.
01:16No, no, no.
01:17He helped rescue me from the dragon.
01:19Yep.
01:19That's me, the noble ste-
01:23Hey, waiter!
01:24How about a bowl for the steaks?
01:27So, Fiona, tell us about where you little duckies and-
01:31What?
01:32I know you ain't talking about the swamp.
01:34Run away.
01:35I gotta go to the bathroom.
01:37Dinner is served.
01:40Never mind.
01:40I can hold it.
01:43Appetit.
01:44Oh, Mexican food!
01:45My favorite!
01:46Oh, I suppose.
01:47Grandchild!
01:48What do you expect from me?
01:49Fiona!
01:50Fiona!
01:50Mom!
01:51Harold!
01:51Duncan!
01:53You're behaving like a-
01:56Go on.
01:57Say it.
01:58Like an ogre!
01:59Well, here's a newsflash for you.
02:01Whether your parents like it or not,
02:03I am an ogre!
02:10And guess what, princess?
02:12That's not about to change.
02:15It's real smooth, Shrek.
02:17I'm an ogre!
02:21Hey, don't worry about it.
02:23I-
02:24Well, well, well, Donkey.
02:26I know it was kind of a tender moment back there.
02:29But the purring?
02:30Yeah, what are you talking about?
02:31I ain't purring.
02:32Oh, sure.
02:32What's next?
02:34A hug?
02:34Hey, Shrek!
02:35Donkeys don't-
02:36Donkey Donkey Donkey Donkey!
02:37Meow!
02:38Meow!
02:38Meow!
02:42Oh my God!
02:45Get it!
02:52Oh, man, where do I f-
02:53OOH!
02:54Sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken!
02:57I think it'd be better if the fairy godmother didn't know we were here.
03:00You know what I'm sayin'?
03:01Huh?
03:02Huh?
03:03Huh?
03:03Huh?
03:03Huh?
03:04Oh!
03:06Hey, man, you wanna get your fine, grippy and footwear and your cat cheeks out of my face?
03:10Man, that stinks!
03:11OOH!
03:12Well, you don't-
03:14Nice.
03:15I wanna die!
03:16Oh, sweet sister mother of mercy!
03:18I'M MELTING!
03:19I'M MELTING!
03:21It's just the rain.
03:24Oh.
03:28Oh.
03:29Oh.
03:30Oh.
03:36Shrek, don't worry.
03:37Things just seem bad cause it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman wacky.
03:41It'll be better in the morning.
03:44See?
03:45You are my sunshine.
03:48Why are you listening to me?
03:52I'm coming to listen to-
03:53OOH!
03:54Donkey?
03:55I-
03:55Hey, boss.
03:57Let's shave him.
03:59Don- Donkey.
04:01Ohhhhhhh.
04:02That-
04:05Two thousand years late.
04:08Have you ladies seen my donkey?
04:10Who are you calling donkey?
04:12Donkey?
04:13You're a-
04:14Eddie Murphy.
04:21Inside, you're still the same old mean salty-
04:23Easy.
04:24Cantankerous.
04:25Stanky.
04:25Foul, angry ogre you've always been.
04:27And you're still the same annoying donkey.
04:29Yeah.
04:35Ready?
04:39My racing days are over! I'm blind! I'm blind!
04:42Tell the truth, will I ever be able to play the violin?
04:44Huh?
04:46Not bad.
04:47Not bad at all.
05:00You know, he's all high on the front, he can never get to the back.
05:02You always need someone to do the back of your hair.
05:04Oh, thank you, Mother.
05:07Mother?!
05:08Uh, Mary, a talking horse.
05:11What did he say?
05:12Hey, what about my Miranda right? You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent.
05:16Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!
05:18Donkey, you have the right to remain silent.
05:22What you lack is the capacity.
05:24Wait, wait, wait, ow, ow, hey, hey, hey!
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