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Boyzone No Matter What S01E03 (2025) [Full Movie] [Trending]Full EP - Full
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00:14You're living in a bubble, you're living in a dream.
00:19I was 18 when we started, catapulted into this superstardom.
00:24Look at us now! Look at us now!
00:27Because I loved what we did for seven years, and now it was being taken from me.
00:32Do boyzones still exist? I don't know.
00:35The world we just lived has disappeared. What is my new world? Who the fuck am I?
00:42Although nothing has been confirmed officially, it's thought Gatelyn...
00:45Everything had changed. Everything had changed.
00:48I should have gone back. I know that I should have gone back.
00:53To get those years would have been everything.
01:03MUSIC
01:17BOYZONE is over forever!
01:20but by Paul Martin, yeah, fucking hell.
01:24Just reading what he told me, I mean, that is just,
01:27this really sums up how pissed off Shane was with Ronan.
01:33Honestly, all you had to do was talk to me
01:36about how you feel about Ronan and off he went.
01:39I was angry at Ro for years
01:41and I found myself in this dark world.
01:45It didn't take a lot to upset me
01:47and it would come out in any environment,
01:50any space, live TV, to concerts, to interviews.
01:54Do you get upset that they keep saying nasty things about you?
01:57No, you know what, so be it.
02:00We're all getting on with our lives.
02:02Floyd's own, I don't think, are going to get back together pretty much
02:04and if the guys want to get back together,
02:06you know, wish them the best, I hope they do well.
02:08We had decided to take a year off
02:11and then get back together.
02:14But one year later, I couldn't see it happening.
02:17Can you have one of your thoughts?
02:19A bad lemon, oh, a ball's lemon.
02:21What?
02:25What did you all take before you came?
02:29I was getting plenty of work
02:30but it just wasn't fulfilling my dreams, I suppose, my goals.
02:37I really wanted to perform.
02:38I had to get out, I had to find something,
02:40I had to find something that gave me a bit of hope in life.
02:49Growing up, cars are with my life.
02:52My dad working as a car mechanic,
02:55me lying under any car, under any bonnet.
02:59It's who I am.
03:01I was blessed with an opportunity to drive
03:04in a show called Autosport Show.
03:07The best in the world were there
03:10and this dickhead.
03:14I came toward in that race
03:16and from there, I got signed to Ford Motorsport.
03:20When you stand on stage,
03:21that energy that you got,
03:23I got that from cars.
03:27In boys' owner, I lacked purpose in my own mind.
03:30All of a sudden now,
03:31shit, this is your time to shine.
03:39Here she is,
03:40my one and only,
03:41Shelley Unwin.
03:42Shelley, this is my mate,
03:42Claire McCarthy.
03:43Shelley, good to meet you.
03:45Yeah, as well.
03:46Out of the blue,
03:47I got a phone call
03:48from Coronation Street.
03:51Out of my comfort zone,
03:52to say the least,
03:53but nevertheless,
03:54I gave it my best shot.
03:57I went into Corrie
03:58for two or three episodes.
03:59I ended up staying on and off
04:01for ten years.
04:01Drink's over.
04:03Coronation Street
04:04gave me an identity,
04:05gave me belief in myself,
04:07gave me confidence.
04:08All of a sudden,
04:09I was somebody.
04:10That was Keith Duffy.
04:12It wasn't the big one
04:12in the back with the broken teeth.
04:14Now, did you watch your pal?
04:16Keith, yeah, I did, yeah.
04:18I thought it was fantastic.
04:19And do you all still keep in touch?
04:21I haven't spoke to Ronan in a while,
04:22or Mikey.
04:23Just that you're all so busy,
04:25you know, doing your own thing,
04:26you know, it's quite hard.
04:28I'd always make time for boys on.
04:31After my solo album,
04:32it was very, very difficult,
04:34more difficult than I thought
04:36it was going to be.
04:37You know, quit for about a year,
04:39came back and done some theatre.
04:42I loved doing that,
04:43but I just felt it really difficult
04:45being on my own
04:47and, you know,
04:48being with four guys
04:49who you consider your brothers
04:51and then just kind of
04:52not seeing them for a long time.
04:55None compares to being with the lads.
05:07It was unbelievable
05:08in the noughties.
05:09Madness.
05:11My manager, Louis,
05:13at the time is saying,
05:14record company are pushing you,
05:15you've got to make the album,
05:17you know, we need the album made.
05:19I was very hungry
05:20and I wanted to be great
05:21and I wanted to have my opportunity,
05:23so I kept going.
05:25But it was quantity over quality.
05:29I'd loads of ideas for him.
05:31As a big middle-of-the-road artist,
05:34he appeals to older women and stuff.
05:36And there's nobody better.
05:38That was his market,
05:40that was his lane.
05:41It just, he just got it wrong.
05:43He just made the wrong choices.
05:46He didn't even know
05:47where the fuck I was.
05:49I opened in Sydney to 10,000 people.
05:51He didn't know I was on tour.
05:54Get ready for another TV phenomenon.
05:56Pop stars The Rivals
05:57is coming in autumn.
05:59It's good, it's good.
06:00We are going to get good singers
06:01at the end of the day.
06:02Louis became a TV personality.
06:06He was given that chance
06:08because he was the manager of Boyzone.
06:10And that obviously gave Louis an opportunity,
06:12but that took a lot of his time.
06:14I was on the phone to Ronan all the time.
06:17I talked to him every day
06:19and he always wanted more.
06:21Things start to fall into place
06:24and you realise.
06:25Louis's not a great manager.
06:27I gave him multiple opportunities
06:29to fix the problems.
06:31So I went and met him
06:33and I said it to his face.
06:34He just said he didn't want
06:35to be a karaoke artist
06:36and he wanted to record his own songs,
06:39he wanted to write his own songs
06:40and he wanted to be a proper artist.
06:43I've got one shot in my career
06:45and he didn't give a fuck.
06:47That shocked me.
06:48The fact that he wasn't happy with the songs.
06:51They were all hits.
06:52Hey, that's what you're in the business for.
06:55Having hits.
06:56Just fell on deaf ears.
06:58I always told him the truth.
07:00What was the truth?
07:02You're a lucky fucker.
07:03You know, this is great, enjoy it.
07:06And I remember going in and saying,
07:08right, that's it.
07:10And what did you say?
07:11I said, OK.
07:13Nothing I could have done.
07:14I couldn't have changed his mind.
07:15It was a divorce.
07:20Battle lines are drawn
07:21and you did have to pick a side.
07:23I picked Louis.
07:25I knew Westlife were going to be
07:26bigger than Boyzone.
07:27It was in my own selfish interest.
07:28But you had to pick somebody
07:30and Louis made that very clear.
07:34It's this monumental shift in the media.
07:37Just the lag which in the newspapers changed.
07:40And he was demeaned and diminished.
07:43I called him talentless
07:45and different things here and there in the press.
07:48He knew how to hurt me.
07:50Vicious fucking bitchy,
07:52vicious horrible things.
07:55He tried to ruin me and my career.
08:00Do I regret it?
08:01Yeah, a little bit.
08:03Do you think he knows that you regret it?
08:04No, he doesn't know.
08:07It was an incredible show
08:10of the strength of somebody
08:12who has the media that they think is it.
08:13You are who you are
08:14because I made you who you are.
08:19I was with Ronan all the time.
08:22I was there working with him every day.
08:25So it was just inevitable
08:27that I would just take over eventually.
08:31Mark Plunkett, thank God for Mark.
08:33I kept my sanity because of Mark.
08:36We had a great time.
08:38Lots of touring.
08:39Lots of international trips.
08:42Lots of TVs all over the world.
08:44You're mad busy
08:45because you're promoting your new album.
08:48But the singles out now, this is it.
08:50But there's inevitably going to come a point
08:51where the sales dip slightly.
08:54You know, the hits weren't quite as big
08:56as they'd been.
09:00I made my third album, my fourth.
09:04And things started to slow down a little bit.
09:07He wasn't having hits.
09:11But he's not having any since I left.
09:15I had done my party trick
09:18and maybe had done it a few more times too much
09:21and I needed to figure out again who I was,
09:25you know, where I was.
09:25So my compass kind of went back to...
09:30to North.
09:32To the boys.
09:412006, Gary Oro was putting Take That back together.
09:46So I went along to see the show.
09:51All the fans noticed me.
09:53And the whole place started chanting my name
09:56and clapping and I was like...
09:58I thought I had been completely forgotten about.
10:02So that was quite...
10:06a surprise.
10:08And then when I seen their show,
10:12I was kind of feeling the bug again, you know?
10:18We just slowly but surely got to chat again to each other
10:22and little kind of whispers here and there.
10:24You know, Stephen would definitely be the one
10:26that would be pushing it with them.
10:27This is going to be great.
10:28You know, we have to do this.
10:29And just all spiralled into kind of us having a meeting.
10:32Let's get into a room.
10:34That was all.
10:35That's all.
10:35It was test the water.
10:41I was worried about the boys' reaction.
10:44I hadn't seen them for years.
10:47There was resentment.
10:48Bitterness.
10:51I was shitting myself going into the room.
10:53Yeah, 100%.
10:53I was nervous as hell.
11:09You know, you could feel there was a lot of scars.
11:12People were unsure.
11:14Unsure it was going to work.
11:16Unsure they wanted to do it at all.
11:19The rage that I had with Ro.
11:21In my mind, when I saw I was going to fucking destroy him.
11:25I was going to abort him.
11:28Very, very, very spiky.
11:30That first moment, walking into the room again.
11:34I was fuming.
11:35And when I saw his face, I could do nothing but hug the fella.
11:39Oh, I'm just going in.
11:40Oh, you're skinhead.
11:41What's happening?
11:42I'm just going, dude.
11:43Like, I miss you.
11:45That actually gave me a good insight to it's not always as bad as you think in your mind.
11:52I would just like to apologise if anything I have said or done in the past seven years
11:56has hurt or affected anybody in a negative or unhappy fashion.
12:02I wasn't the reason the band broke up,
12:03but I was definitely the reason the band didn't get back together before now and I apologise for that.
12:08I made choices that I'm not proud of.
12:10I left them behind for success.
12:18I did have blinkers on.
12:20Yeah.
12:21Didn't end right.
12:22We need to do it right.
12:26Aston if he thought there was any scope for the band getting back together.
12:29Things haven't always been as good as they are tonight.
12:32It was great going in so successful as an actor,
12:35but every now and again you'd get a surge of memories.
12:38The audience being blown away.
12:42And you go, wow, I'd love just one more chance.
12:46Maybe this could work now if we're all really on the same page.
12:50You know, it was there for the taking.
12:53Personally, you know what I mean?
12:55I'd like to do a little something.
12:56I really fucking missed all of you.
12:59I mean, I think it's just amazing being here.
13:00I mean, it's good.
13:02It excited me, you know?
13:05I think everyone was kind of,
13:07let's do it, let's do a tour.
13:09Let's get to see if people are bothered with Boyzone anymore.
13:29Who's idea were those fucking outfits?
13:40Oh my God.
13:43Our first performance in eight years.
13:46We're climbing underneath the stage
13:48to go on these trapdoors to be sprung loaded onto stage.
13:54So nervous going up in that lift
13:55and kind of going, oh my God, I don't know where I'm going.
13:58It's like you're robbing the headlights.
14:00You get a panic attack.
14:02You get this kind of, oh shit.
14:05And it's amazing.
14:11I remember that excitement.
14:13How we felt in that exact moment with that countdown.
14:17You can feel the breath, you can feel the energy from a crowd
14:21and you cannot imagine what that's like.
14:24It's unreal.
14:34Oh man, that gives me goosebumps.
14:48I couldn't hear the first two songs, to be honest,
14:50because the crowd was so loud.
14:54I'm not there for glory.
14:56I'm there to go, look at all you people
14:59and look at the joy that we can bring you.
15:12We designed a moment, everybody would get their own little moment.
15:15And I think that's why it felt so different.
15:20I felt a part of the band for the first time.
15:28That my efforts were being appreciated.
15:32That we could now really be a band.
15:37We'd fill each other's spaces without even thinking about it,
15:40without even looking at each other.
15:42If Shane was out far right, you know, I'd see him starting to move in.
15:46If Mikey was in the middle, he'd move over to fill my space
15:49and you'd just fill each other's voids.
15:52And it's a real art.
15:57We're back. We were back.
16:00I just felt, you know, unbelievable.
16:03That was pretty magic then.
16:06Getting the band back together.
16:12That reunion tour was huge.
16:14You know, multiple nights in arenas.
16:17Then when they got back together,
16:18they asked me to take over the managing.
16:20I was glad to be involved.
16:22I've been there since day one in the UK.
16:26And, you know, I didn't want anyone else to carry on writing those chapters.
16:30See, we're the vocal harmony group we are.
16:33We're not a boy band, right?
16:34The plan was then to, you know, work on a new album.
16:37Everyone was in a great place.
16:41We, as a collective now, had more control over the music.
16:45For the first time, I was enjoying the music that Boyzone was doing.
16:50Took us 15 years to do that.
16:5507 to 09 were the best years of the band.
16:58We were the most comfortable in our own skin that we'd ever been.
17:02As soon as I get in a room with them boys,
17:03I'm the silliest fella I was back when I was 17, 18 years old.
17:07It's just kindergarten kids.
17:09It was absolutely brilliant to be back with those fellas.
17:11Like, nothing had changed.
17:14Like, nothing had changed.
17:16Who farted?
17:16Please.
17:17Who farted?
17:19Just seemed to share even more laughs than we had before.
17:24I don't know, just a better understanding of each other.
17:27You've got to get this right.
17:28Come on, go away.
17:29Some people really came in through Rome, Stephen in particular.
17:33Hang on, there you go.
17:35It was the best version of him I'd ever seen.
17:37The other guys have got girls to dance with.
17:39You've got a bloke.
17:40Yeah.
17:40I don't have to be true to myself, and that's how it turned out.
17:43And I think it works beautifully with the song.
17:46He was looking great.
17:47He had a book going.
17:49He had met someone new.
17:51Andy.
17:52They were just in love and got married.
17:56Very happy.
17:57Everything was going as planned.
17:59Presumably you're going to be working on new music together.
18:01Four singles, a brand new song.
18:02And you have it already?
18:03Yeah, well, we think so.
18:05We had done the better tour.
18:06We had new songs for a new album.
18:08And that brother album is our finest hour.
18:11Everybody was really, really happy and in a good place.
18:14It's a blessing.
18:15Be given a second chance.
18:17And I'm loving every minute of it.
18:31My phone rang.
18:33It was a solicitor by the name of Gerald Keane, who Boyzone had used in the 90s.
18:40The phone rang, picked it up, and Gerald Keane says to me,
18:49I'm sorry to tell you, but Stephen has passed away.
18:59And I said, Stephen who?
19:03And he said Stephen Gately.
19:10The Boyzone singer Stephen Gately has died while on holiday on the Spanish island of Mallorca at the age of
19:1633.
19:22I had to call Louie and the guys and give them the news.
19:31It was late.
19:33We were in the bar.
19:34We were drinking.
19:34And as I left the crowd, Ro's voice came louder in my phone.
19:40He's like, Steele, Steele, he's gone.
19:42I said, what, our Stephen?
19:45He said, yeah, he said, he's gone.
19:48It just wouldn't go in.
19:51What?
19:51No, no, not our Stephen.
19:53And I hear him screaming.
19:56It's freaking hard.
19:57You still hear it.
20:03Can't breathe.
20:05Your legs got from under you.
20:08It would get through in little bits.
20:10And then it would be complete, just break down.
20:17My wall just fell apart.
20:24Numb.
20:31We tried to put a plan together to get down to see Steele.
20:36Our instinct was just to get together.
20:39So that force of companionship and that force of like, okay, where are you?
20:44How can I get to you?
20:45What do you need?
20:46I couldn't tell you the journey.
20:48Couldn't tell you anything.
20:49I just know we got on a fucking plane.
21:00The body of Stephen Gately was found by police officers.
21:03So far, Gately's family have made no comments.
21:04What caused Stephen Starr's death on Saturday remains unexplained.
21:08Miriam got me on a flight to Mallorca the next morning.
21:12I get out there and it is heaving.
21:18There was press everywhere.
21:20It was crazy having the boys there.
21:22They just couldn't move.
21:23It was horrible.
21:24It was horrible.
21:26The kind of cesspit of journalism that sometimes it can all descend into.
21:31Paul, what can you tell us?
21:32What's the latest?
21:32Well, Karen, there's been quite a lot of movement here at the apartment.
21:35This is the apartment just beyond me here where Stephen actually passed away.
21:40Suddenly, it's immediately like, get the story.
21:45What has happened?
21:46What has happened?
21:49Nobody really speaking in the boys' own camp officially yet.
21:52But obviously, there's quite a lot of speculation behind the scenes.
21:55So then you're starting to get around the hotels and what clubs was he in and trying to put this
21:59together.
21:59He was found by police and taken here to one of the island's mortuaries.
22:03Although nothing has been confirmed officially, it's thought Gately and his partner arrived back here.
22:08You know, we had no idea what happened to him.
22:10You know, it's only what we've read and, you know, in the press and stuff.
22:15Conspiracy theories are running wild.
22:17All the reporters, they're exchanging stories.
22:19Well, I heard this and I heard that.
22:20Lots of innuendo, lots of chatter about the circumstances around his death.
22:25Some of the rubbish that was written was just horrible.
22:28The worst for me was they were saying it must have been drugs.
22:33I was, like, screaming inside because, like, I knew there was absolutely no way.
22:40It was quite incredible, the most ridiculous articles that were written.
22:45There was one in particular.
22:47Stephen's sexuality had led to his death.
22:51If he's gay, it must mean that he's got this incredibly, you know, outrageous hidden lifestyle.
23:00Oh, he'd been out on a bender and overdosed on drugs.
23:04We were hearing everything.
23:07Having known Stephen for over a decade, he was the last man to, you know, have a hedonistic lifestyle or
23:16a dangerous lifestyle.
23:17It's the first time I've ever looked at my own industry, my own world, what I'd been part of and
23:21gone, you scumbags.
23:23My mother found two men at the end of her bed taking pictures of my parents as they woke.
23:33Basically broke into our house and went up the stairs and took pictures.
23:40With everything that was happening, I was just waiting for the autopsy report to confirm that it was something else
23:46because I knew it was something else.
23:52Pathologists here have concluded that he did not die as a result of alcohol nor drugs.
23:58He had a heart defect that nobody knew about.
24:02Because of the heart defect, his lungs filled with fluid.
24:08We found out I have the same heart condition Stephen has.
24:13Funny how just, you know, a little tablet every day just sort of keeps that under control and if Stephen
24:19only knew.
24:21People didn't bother their arses to really read up on what happened.
24:25They just see the headlines in the newspapers and they just assume that he's overdosed.
24:31Oh, you were in that band with that dead guy.
24:34Did he kill himself?
24:35I've gone from naught to ten in a second at times.
24:39You want to insult my brother, I'll fucking kill you, you know.
24:42I don't care how big or strong you are.
24:44You'd have to kill me to stop me.
24:47But to hear that they were now putting, like, a name, you know, to what he died from,
24:52makes it a little bit easier just because it was just, like, you could breathe again, you know.
25:09We brought Stephen home.
25:13Margaret Stephen's mum asked us to look after the funeral arrangements.
25:22We didn't like the idea of him being alone in the church overnight.
25:28He didn't like the cold. He didn't like being alone.
25:32So we offered to stay the night with him in the church to keep him company.
25:42When everybody else left and there was just the five of us,
25:48there was a great sense of peace, of unity.
25:59I don't want to say sadness because, believe it or not,
26:04we actually had quite a comedic night.
26:08And the usual joking that used to go on in the very early days
26:16when everything was innocent and naive,
26:22for that night, that emerged.
26:27We put easels all around the church of pictures of Stephen.
26:31And we walked around looking at the different pictures,
26:33the different smiles, the energy in his face.
26:36And we talked to him.
26:38We knew what his part would be.
26:40We all knew it. We didn't have to say it.
26:42We could feel his voice and his energy.
26:44And we joked and we laughed and we talked about old stories.
26:48And what a thing to share with those boys and with Steele,
26:52those very last moments.
26:54We still had him, you know, in some way.
26:57We still had him.
26:58Just the five of us together.
27:00And you hold on as long as you can.
27:15We had a mass, a special mass prepared for Stephen.
27:20It was really only family and the lads and friends, close friends.
27:24And when we turned up at the church,
27:26there was people lined for miles and miles.
27:33There was an ocean of photographers as well,
27:36flashing away as we were going in.
27:40So I went over to the photographers and I said,
27:43you're welcome to come in.
27:44I said, everybody can come in.
27:46And they all, like, sort of stepped up to come in.
27:48And I said, you can leave your cameras there
27:50and then you can come in and pay your respects, you know,
27:54because he didn't pay your respects to him when he was alive, you know.
28:00None of them came in, yeah.
28:06We can only have so many in here in the church
28:08and I know we have so many, many people outside.
28:10So just thanks to you for coming along
28:13to share in this special day to remember Stephen.
28:17Stephen was a force to be reckoned with.
28:20A true friend full of love and friendship.
28:23He brought colour to the band
28:25and that band now simply feels black and white without him.
28:30We're going to really miss you, brother.
28:32We love you.
28:34We always will.
28:36Oh.
28:43Carrying his coffin with the other guys.
28:47You could have heard a pin drop.
28:53And this is on a street that was the toughest part
28:57to grow up in Dublin.
29:00And the height of respect that the people showed
29:04for this boy from their neighbourhood,
29:09it broke me.
29:15The love he had was fucking gorgeous to witness.
29:20It's a rare thing.
29:21Everybody loved him.
29:24He was a true pop star.
29:26He loved life.
29:28You know, he paved the way for so many
29:30to know it was OK.
29:32I mean, I hope that's not a legacy, what is?
29:37When I think of Stephen,
29:39all I can see is
29:42him being, like, four years of age
29:44with his little T-shirt on
29:47with Miss Piggy on the front of it.
29:49Very innocent and shy
29:51and just looking up,
29:53wanting to give you his hand
29:55for you to just take him.
29:57Just so lovable and kind
29:59and, you know,
30:03just a lovely person.
30:16It felt better
30:18to be in each other's company
30:22than not to be.
30:33We decided that maybe, you know,
30:35the right thing to do
30:35in Stephen's memory
30:36is to keep going.
30:42Shouldn't have.
30:45The dynamic changed
30:46what it felt like
30:47to be in the band.
30:49Sometimes it was hard
30:50just to do the gig.
30:52The three fellas
30:53there was one missing.
30:56The void was massive
30:58and it made you feel
30:59so self-conscious.
31:00It made you feel
31:01like we were shit.
31:02It made you feel
31:03that the audience
31:04just wasn't buying us anymore,
31:06you know?
31:10We went on and off
31:11over the years
31:12that followed.
31:14Ten years.
31:16A couple of tours.
31:19Never felt the same.
31:21For me,
31:22it wasn't until he was gone
31:24that I realised
31:24how much
31:25he was the glue
31:27that kept a lot
31:27of the band together.
31:31Whilst
31:31Boysen were still
31:32being successful,
31:33still selling a lot of tickets,
31:35still touring
31:35all over the world,
31:37to me
31:38it felt
31:39as if
31:39it was time
31:40to take a break
31:41but rather than
31:43splitting up
31:43and falling out
31:45announced
31:46the farewell tour.
31:48I'm not saying
31:49anything's flagging anything
31:50but I'm just
31:51staying.
31:53It got more
31:54and more intense
31:56and
31:56relationships
31:59broke down
31:59within the band.
32:00I spotted
32:02arrogance,
32:03the growth
32:04of ego.
32:07It just
32:08became
32:08hard work.
32:11People
32:12started
32:12just behaving
32:13fucking badly
32:17and when
32:17that happens,
32:19something's
32:20going to give.
32:22It came
32:23to a head
32:24in
32:252019.
32:28I saw it all.
32:29I was ready
32:30to get the fuck
32:31out of there.
32:33It's when
32:33the band imploded.
32:40I'm always ready
32:41for it.
32:42You know what I mean?
32:542019
32:55was a tough tour.
32:56We went
32:57everywhere.
33:00I got a sense
33:02that towards the end
33:03people were just
33:04holding on tight,
33:05enjoying the ride,
33:06having fun.
33:07Thank you!
33:08When I can't.
33:12I can't, I can't.
33:13I've got to sing
33:13every day.
33:14I've got to last
33:14two hours on stage
33:15and, you know,
33:16I've got to be able
33:16to perform
33:17and in Tokyo
33:19I just felt
33:19the piss
33:20was being taken.
33:27if you're coming
33:28tonight,
33:29have a great time
33:29because we certainly
33:30are going to have
33:30a fantastic time.
33:32See you later.
33:33I always found
33:34going on stage
33:34a bit of a
33:36party anyway.
33:37It's everyone out
33:38there is having
33:38a great time.
33:39I needed a great
33:40time too.
33:41I mean,
33:41they had been out
33:41all day and
33:42they were drinking
33:42all day and
33:45yeah,
33:45it was messy.
33:50We certainly
33:52partied a little
33:53harder than
33:54we usually did.
34:03It was the end
34:05of the road.
34:08I think that
34:10they interpreted
34:11me as seeing
34:13their carry-on
34:15as infantile.
34:19And that is
34:19how I seen it.
34:22I'm sure
34:23if you talk
34:23to any one
34:23of the fans
34:24at any one
34:25of those shows
34:26they'll tell you
34:26that they had
34:27the best night
34:27of their lives.
34:28It was the worst.
34:30It was the worst
34:31I had seen
34:32in all of our years.
34:38So I went
34:39at the mall
34:39told them
34:40how I felt.
34:41It was a tennis match
34:43from that guy
34:44to that guy
34:45to that guy.
34:45You're not
34:46pulling your weight
34:46like I'm pulling
34:47my weight.
34:48The job is always
34:49done, you know.
34:50He's done a great job
34:51and we did our job
34:53the way we did.
34:54You know,
34:54I gave it all
34:56at my detriment.
34:58I gave everything.
34:59To be the lead man
35:00you take on
35:01most of the work.
35:02Don't complain
35:03about us
35:03who aren't working
35:04as hard.
35:06We don't have
35:06the opportunity.
35:07It's very different.
35:09You were the dude
35:10who wanted to be
35:10in the front
35:11so take your
35:12fucking role
35:13and do it.
35:13It had reached
35:15a complete stage
35:17of
35:20malignancy.
35:21I had enough.
35:23The next night
35:24there was a clash
35:25between Keith and Mikey
35:26in the dressing room.
35:27There were things
35:28that happened
35:29that were
35:30cruel
35:32and
35:33I'm not
35:34going to
35:35express any more
35:36than that.
35:37My mother always
35:38said if you haven't
35:38got anything nice
35:39to say
35:39don't say anything
35:40at all.
35:43We left Japan.
35:45Some of us
35:46not talking
35:48with each other
35:49and yet
35:50we still had
35:51to do
35:51the final
35:53five nights
35:56in the
35:57Palladium.
36:04All the venues
36:05we played
36:05however big
36:06the venue
36:06might have been
36:07we always
36:08shared a dressing room
36:09always
36:10shared a dressing room
36:12and when we
36:13turned up
36:13at the Palladium
36:16our names
36:17are on
36:17different doors.
36:19We lasted
36:2025 years
36:21flying on the
36:22same plane
36:23in the same
36:23cars
36:24in the same
36:24room
36:26and the
36:27final five shows
36:28that we were
36:28ever going to do
36:30we were going to
36:31do it on our own.
36:35We went through
36:36the motions
36:36got through
36:37the five shows
36:38a very
36:39very big
36:39anti-climax
36:40there was no
36:42Hollabaloo
36:42there was no
36:43group hug
36:44there was no
36:46well done
36:46there was no one
36:47from the record
36:48company walking
36:49on stage
36:49with a
36:49ten times
36:50platinum disc
36:51and saying
36:51thanks for
36:52everything.
36:54I just wanted
36:55to get out
36:55of there
36:58get away
36:59from that
37:00toxic
37:01environment
37:03the realisation
37:04came
37:04that this is
37:05the end
37:05of the road
37:07it's over
37:21I haven't seen
37:22anybody since
37:23that night
37:29that's when
37:29I began to
37:30understand
37:31I need to make
37:32some changes
37:33you know
37:42I've spent
37:43I've spent the
37:43last ten years
37:43saying yes
37:44looking after
37:45everyone else
37:46making sure
37:47everyone else
37:48is alright
37:48but only now
37:49am I saying
37:49no
37:50no I've got to
37:51think of me
37:54so that I can
37:54be here to
37:55watch my
37:56children grow up
38:00for me
38:00personally
38:01I wouldn't be
38:02able to survive
38:03in that world
38:04anymore
38:04I had to get
38:05out
38:06and I cannot
38:07do that to my
38:07family
38:08go back in
38:08there
38:12it's an
38:12addictive drug
38:15because I took
38:16a back seat
38:17for such a long
38:18time over my
38:19career
38:19I feel that I
38:21still have so
38:21much left to
38:22prove to
38:22myself
38:25it's a real
38:26head fuck
38:28we've all
38:29moved on
38:30I've got
38:30Westlife
38:31you know
38:32I've had a
38:33great career
38:33in music
38:34so I'm happy
38:37I wouldn't
38:38have changed
38:38anything
38:39it wasn't
38:40perfect but
38:41it was perfect
38:41for me
38:44am I done
38:47I'm gonna go
38:48I'm gonna run
38:54music and
38:55the stage
38:57and the
38:57lights
38:57I can leave
38:58that behind
39:00but the
39:01friendship
39:02I think
39:03is what it
39:03is more
39:04than anything
39:04else
39:07as much as
39:08we had
39:09had enough
39:09of being
39:09around each
39:10other
39:10hello
39:11hello
39:11hello
39:12yay
39:13boys
39:14I couldn't
39:14bear to
39:15lose any
39:15of the
39:15boys
39:16I hope
39:16you haven't
39:17been here
39:17too long
39:17all the
39:18fucking
39:18morning
39:19all morning
39:19I can't put
39:20his glasses
39:20on
39:20too close
39:22how are you
39:25good to see you
39:25you look like
39:26Jane, Elson, John
39:27oh man
39:27that was mad
39:28you're blind as a
39:29bat
39:29I have a lot
39:30of anxiety
39:31and I feel
39:31a lot of
39:32the pain
39:34stuff that
39:34we've all
39:35gone through
39:36but put me
39:37together with
39:38them and that
39:38doesn't exist
39:40you too
39:42where'd you get it
39:46kindergarten kids
39:47as soon as
39:50they walk in
39:51the room
39:51it's like
39:51we've never
39:52left
39:53no no
39:53here we go
39:53here we go
39:54here we go
39:55my head's better
39:55than yours
39:56I'm keeping it
39:56it's like
39:59we're frozen
39:59in time
40:07I wish them
40:08the absolute
40:09best in
40:09their lives
40:10I wish them
40:11nothing but
40:11happiness
40:11I hold no
40:13grudges
40:14no animosity
40:16nothing
40:18however
40:21I don't want
40:22to go back
40:26to how I felt
40:28for many years
40:30and to see
40:32them
40:33if it were
40:34for too
40:34long
40:35would remind
40:37me of that
40:38and my
40:39future
40:40is far
40:41too important
40:42to me
40:43to waste
40:44it
40:45looking back
40:46at my
40:47past
40:49but I wish
40:50everybody
40:50well
40:53for me
40:54one of the
40:55biggest regrets
40:56is that I
40:57clashed a lot
40:58with Mikey
40:59and me and him
41:00were very
41:00very alike
41:01the amount
41:02of time
41:02that we
41:03didn't get on
41:04that took
41:05its toll
41:05on me
41:06as a human
41:06being
41:07you can't
41:09get those
41:10years back
41:11it didn't
41:12have to be
41:12that way
41:14if we
41:15all
41:16had have
41:16had
41:17better
41:18skills
41:19at
41:20understanding
41:21each other
41:22better
41:22my boys
41:24and my men
41:25and we
41:26don't talk
41:27like that
41:27it was never
41:28in me to
41:29go
41:29oh lads
41:29I don't
41:30feel great
41:31today
41:31it doesn't
41:32exist in
41:32a man's
41:33world
41:33I wish
41:34it had
41:34I have
41:35parked all
41:36of that
41:36emotion
41:37but we
41:37were kids
41:38Ro
41:38we were
41:39kids
41:39I was
41:39incredibly
41:40insecure
41:41and Ro
41:42I think
41:42we all
41:43were
41:43you know
41:43what I
41:43mean
41:43they were
41:44fundamental
41:45years
41:45of growth
41:47multimental
41:48mental
41:53there's
41:53nothing
41:54more
41:54therapeutic
41:55than
41:56reminiscing
41:57about the
41:57best times
41:58of your
41:58life
41:59it reminds
42:00you of
42:00how lucky
42:01you have
42:01been
42:02the RDS
42:03show
42:03the first
42:03biggest show
42:04back in the
42:04RDS
42:04I'm looking
42:05back at that
42:06you know
42:06the song
42:06that I used
42:07to do
42:07when I
42:07pulled my
42:07trousers
42:07off
42:08it's hard
42:09to fucking
42:09fathom
42:09do you know
42:10what I mean
42:10can you remember
42:11the times
42:11with Steele
42:12fucking
42:12catapult
42:13I remember
42:16being in
42:16Kuala Lumpur
42:17and I didn't
42:17know if that
42:17was South
42:18America
42:18or Asia
42:18you and I
42:19with our
42:20ghetto blaster
42:20listening to
42:21bleeding
42:21Enya
42:22you know
42:22in 94
42:2395
42:23don't tell
42:24any
42:24hip hop
42:24man
42:25hip hop
42:31I am so
42:32grateful
42:33for all
42:34that I
42:34have endured
42:36and experienced
42:37good and
42:38bad
42:38because it's
42:39brought me
42:40to be
42:40the man
42:41I am
42:42today
42:45every single
42:45day I
42:46have
42:46something
42:47to do
42:47with music
42:49waking up
42:50with a
42:52spring
42:52in my
42:52step
42:54the guy
42:55before I
42:56joined
42:56Boys On
42:57was slim
42:58healthy
42:59fit
43:00full of
43:01vitality
43:02full of
43:02confidence
43:03full of
43:04passion
43:08that's
43:08the guy
43:08that's
43:09returning
43:13there's a
43:14great sense
43:14of
43:16liberation
43:19ready
43:19lovely
43:21how are you
43:21how are you
43:22spinnies
43:24I think we'll
43:25always be what
43:26we always are
43:29and it's
43:30brothers in arms
43:34boys who grew up
43:35on the
43:35fucking north
43:36side of
43:36Dublin
43:37that got
43:38catapulted
43:38around the
43:39world
43:41there could have
43:42been
43:42you know
43:44a million
43:44other lads in
43:45Ireland that
43:45got in that
43:46band
43:47but I don't
43:48think they
43:48would have
43:49been as
43:49fucked up
43:50as the
43:50five of
43:51us were
43:52and that's
43:53what made
43:53us brilliant
43:56when you
43:57think about
43:57it
43:57starting off
43:58playing in
43:58front of
43:5925 people
44:00on the
44:00back of
44:01a truck
44:01to
44:01to
44:02play
44:02into
44:03100,000
44:03people
44:04in
44:04Hyde Park
44:05how amazing
44:06was that
44:07it's a hell
44:08of a ride
44:09success
44:11and all
44:12of the
44:12good times
44:14really do
44:15outweigh
44:15all the
44:15bad times
44:18these boys
44:19are my
44:20boys
44:20and I
44:21will love
44:21them
44:22forever
44:22in the
44:23day
44:24and when
44:24we're
44:25together
44:25Stephen Gately
44:26is alive
44:26again
44:27and that's
44:28what's the
44:28most special
44:29part
44:31we did
44:32have a
44:32great
44:32laugh
44:36and it's
44:36like
44:36looking back
44:37at a
44:37picture
44:39saying
44:39god
44:39this is
44:40amazing
44:46that's
44:46our
44:46story
44:46it was
44:47a good
44:47one
44:52they came
44:53to you
44:53and asked
44:53you
44:53should we
44:54get back
44:54together
44:54and do
44:54a reunion
44:55show
44:55what would
44:56you say
44:58wow
44:59wow that's
45:00a question
45:04look I'd be
45:05lying to you
45:05if I said
45:06there isn't a
45:07spark of
45:09excitement
45:09in my mind
45:10people as far
45:11as the eye
45:11can see
45:12and the roar
45:13of the crowd
45:13that
45:15yeah
45:15I would love
45:16to experience
45:17that again
45:17who wouldn't
45:20but there's
45:21so much
45:21more going
45:22on backstage
45:23so perhaps
45:24leave well
45:25enough alone
45:28or
45:29maybe
45:30I know
45:31I said
45:31I'll never
45:32go on tour
45:32again
45:32but they
45:33stayed there
45:33going on tour
45:34I'm not
45:35getting left
45:35behind
45:35you're mad
45:36who knows
46:05I'll never
46:08Transcription by CastingWords
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