- 2 days ago
EastEnders 12th March 2026
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TVTranscript
00:00Music
00:20You alright?
00:23I am now.
00:27Goodness.
00:28Yes.
00:33Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:38Maybe we should consider getting away before things get too messy.
00:42Yeah, because last time we ran away from our problems it ended really well, didn't it?
00:45Look, I'm just saying that the people Mark's involved with, they wouldn't think twice about setting fire at this gaff.
00:50That is exactly why I can't just leave him without trying to get him out of it.
00:55Please just drop it.
00:58Are you serious about going into work?
01:01DJs and caterers ain't going to pay for themselves, are they?
01:04No.
01:05You stick in the house today, I'm not having you guarding the gaff again.
01:08If anything happens, you phone me so aware of it.
01:15Morning.
01:15Morning, mate.
01:16Thanks very much.
01:19You all right, Vic?
01:20Phil's rung me in at the gym.
01:22Pretty boys off sick in case you wanted to take him from sleep.
01:24Phil, will you drop the act?
01:26You told me that you were going to find another way to get out of this.
01:31Kill you, Ravi.
01:33What's told me last night?
01:36Mark, this ain't you.
01:40Well, if it's between protecting my family or some geezer I barely know.
01:45You pick me.
01:46Yeah.
01:47What about Ravi's family?
01:50Until I prove you assaulted, you're in danger.
01:53And I ain't having it.
01:54I don't know.
02:02Ravchot Singalati.
02:03Yeah, um, he needs to be seen today, okay?
02:05It's urgent.
02:07Yeah, he's next to me, he says it's fine.
02:10Oh, they put me on hold.
02:15It's just me, babe.
02:19Okay.
02:20Um, yeah, yeah, that's great.
02:22That's great, thanks.
02:25What's the point in same-day appointments if the receptionist makes you beg to get one?
02:30Well, we could go another day.
02:32Yeah.
02:33No, no, I've got you an appointment for later.
02:37Look at me.
02:40I know he's quick, but...
02:42after everything that's happened this week...
02:48I'll go.
02:54Mum, I need a donkey costume for Red Nose Day.
02:56What do you need a donkey costume for for Red Nose Day?
02:58Look, can you get your shoes on, please?
02:59We'll leave them in five minutes.
03:00I will.
03:01I will sort it.
03:02Oi!
03:03That's mine!
03:04Oh.
03:05Louie!
03:06Can you stop drawing on everything you see?
03:08This is my work stuff, yeah?
03:09Why, I got you a notepad in the first place!
03:12Sorry!
03:14What if Picasso's mum said that to him and he ended up never paying the 16th chapel?
03:19Since when were you taking back Anders from Elaine?
03:22I thought you was working for Ian.
03:23Well, bisexual, bipartisan.
03:26King that buys me.
03:27One advantage of living in the house that time forgot is finding relics everywhere.
03:31Eh?
03:32Don't have way too many pics of Brian looking at Burke and her albums.
03:36Stalker.
03:38Is this depressing vibe because you still ain't shifted that car?
03:41I wouldn't buy anything from you of this aura you've got, Lauren.
03:45Can you just pack it in, please?
03:46Look, you've got a fit fella.
03:48Sick job.
03:49You're living the dream, Lauren.
03:52What has gotten into you today?
03:55Look.
03:56Look.
04:05Oh, please, Lauren.
04:06Stop shouting.
04:08OK, yeah, I should've told you about Caleb, all right?
04:10But he's not a weirdo or a tea leaf.
04:11He's more of a giver anyway.
04:13Oh, no!
04:13Look, he's got his thing of being silent in the morning unless he's saying his goals out loud.
04:18You should try that with the car.
04:19Say you'll sell it.
04:20You will.
04:21I can shift a car without some mute hippies techniques.
04:24Do me a favour, Lauren.
04:27Smile.
04:31Double sausage on white and enough sugary pastries to make Willy Wonka jealous.
04:36Yeah, I'm starved.
04:38I'll charge extra for delivery, by the way.
04:41Um, Al.
04:43Please, we'll pay you later.
04:45He owes me for doing double duty.
04:47Oh.
04:50Julie and Yolanda want to know if we want to get food with them a bit after we've seen Nigel.
04:54I thought you'd be too ill for that.
04:56Bill.
04:57Can I have a word?
04:59Well, can he wait?
05:02It's a telling I'm outside, y'all.
05:03I'll be in with you in a minute, yeah?
05:07Let me guess it's about Mark.
05:10This gang have said that if he don't find the rat, kill them today, they're gonna come
05:14after me next.
05:15Listen, he doesn't know what he's got himself into, and if he actually doesn't...
05:20I don't want to beg you for help again, but he needs to get out of this mess.
05:26Please.
05:27So, I've got Lexi to think about it, yeah?
05:29What happens if I get involved, yeah?
05:31If I get involved, it all goes wrong.
05:33Well, what happens to Mark if you don't?
05:38I'll finish here with Lex, and then I'll talk to Mark, all right?
05:42But if you don't listen, I'll try again.
05:59Sorry about the wait, Mr Galati.
06:08Who can I help today?
06:13It's just Ravi.
06:15My name.
06:17Ravi.
06:23Tell her.
06:31I bet I've been stressed for a few weeks.
06:40It ain't a big deal.
06:44He's been hurting himself.
06:46I need to hear this from Ravi.
06:50Is that how you got the facial bruising, too?
07:01Look, he ain't been right for months.
07:03Okay?
07:04He's shutting himself away.
07:06Getting into fights.
07:09We ain't having sex.
07:11Brim.
07:12Look, she needs to know, okay?
07:13You're not okay.
07:14None of this is okay.
07:17I'd like to ask you a few questions about what your partner said.
07:23Is that all right?
07:30Have you seen these?
07:31My dad won't stop banging on with her.
07:33Fair play.
07:34Elaine could have put a lot worse on me.
07:36It's your idea, is it?
07:38Is this, Beely, what you want?
07:39Ten points for the pun?
07:41Well, you're lucky my dad ain't around this morning, because you reckon you'll be done
07:43for libel.
07:44Well, only if it isn't true.
07:45All's fair in love and war and local politics.
07:49Ronnie?
07:50All right.
07:53I didn't ask for a smear campaign.
07:56I just wanted, in tone, fresh ideas.
07:59So you bring your best to our meeting this afternoon, yeah?
08:02Absolutely.
08:02I've been thinking about it all night, Elaine.
08:04Thinking, thinking, thinking on my brain.
08:07Ready to go.
08:08Good.
08:09I'm expecting great things.
08:11Yeah.
08:12Yeah.
08:14Hi.
08:16Let's start with the posters.
08:19All right, then.
08:20Dilton says for fresh fruit and bread.
08:22Butterball.
08:22Come on, get all your berries, your bananas, and your broccoli from the freshest stall out here.
08:27Come on, you beautiful people.
08:28Find them the Beels, best bananas.
08:30Any mental illness in your family history?
08:34I don't know.
08:39And do you know which feelings drive you to self-harm?
08:48Ravi, do you have thoughts of ending your life?
09:02Okay.
09:04Thank you for sharing.
09:06I'm going to refer you to the mental health team.
09:10At the minute, the waiting list is around eight weeks.
09:13Eight weeks?
09:15But there are other things you can do when you feel overwhelmed.
09:20Meditation, exercise.
09:22Are you joking?
09:23Look at the state of him.
09:25If you need it, the Walford crisis team can help in the immediacy.
09:29I can give you some pamphlets.
09:31Oh, eight weeks wait for those and all.
09:32Right.
09:33Look, I'm not joking.
09:34I bend over backwards to get you an appointment and she's just doing labour breaths and cardio.
09:38It can help.
09:39For some, I think you'd benefit from something for the anxiety and the lack of sleep you mentioned.
09:47I'll have that prescription sent over to the pharmacy on Turpin Road.
09:52Erm, could you actually send it to the one on the high street please?
09:57I have got a few things I need to pick up.
10:05You seem like you have a strong support system around you.
10:27Your sister's been on my case.
10:31Have you spoken to anyone yet?
10:34About Robbie.
10:36Not you and all, Phil.
10:38Robbie chose to be a grass.
10:40He deserves everything he gets.
10:42When you think this won't be the only thing that you think about one day.
10:47Hey.
10:47When you're a liar blaming your old man, blaming anyone for the mess you made of everything.
10:54Tougher blokes and you and tougher bokes.
10:56And Robbie have been broken by this life.
10:58And this...
11:00This ain't you.
11:02Now you put that bullet in Robbie now.
11:06It's only an hour of time before someone does that thing.
11:08Or...
11:09Or you do it to yourself.
11:12Now you want my help getting out of this.
11:16You say something now.
11:17Because I won't be offering again.
11:23Yeah.
11:26Why?
11:28I'll make some calls.
11:33It's not being it.
11:35Runs like a dream.
11:38No luck, Lauren.
11:40Yeah, there's a couple.
11:41They're...
11:41They're gonna come back later.
11:42They're just gonna think on it for a bit.
11:44Don't be stupid.
11:45It's the oldest one in the book, that is.
11:47Obviously I ain't interested.
11:50Maybe it's your face that scared them off.
11:52What's that supposed to mean?
11:53Well, it wouldn't kill you, would it?
11:54Crack a smile.
11:56Look like Eeyore.
11:58And you're the face of eternal happiness, are you?
12:00Listen, Lauren, right?
12:01I've had plenty of satisfied customers coming out of that office over the years.
12:04Oof.
12:05Just shift it, yeah?
12:06Today.
12:07It's costing me money.
12:08Rust in there.
12:09Yep.
12:10It'll be gone.
12:12That doctor weren't bad in the end.
12:14After all that come by our stuff.
12:17I'm sorry for waiting in earlier.
12:21Um...
12:22I'm...
12:22I'm gonna lie down.
12:24Okay?
12:24Okay.
12:25Yeah.
12:33Hey.
12:34How you been?
12:35Doctors.
12:37Well, is he all right?
12:38He just wants everything to get back to normal.
12:41Yeah.
12:47Come here.
12:50All right.
12:50I'll see you in a bit, yeah?
12:52Yeah.
12:56Are you okay, Mum?
12:58Yeah.
13:00Yeah, I'm okay.
13:15Hey, Dad.
13:23Dad?
13:28Dad?
13:29Dad?
13:29Dad?
13:29Dad?
13:30Dad?
13:42I'll...
13:44I'll see you later, yeah?
14:07Well, you got yourself in all right, miss, didn't you?
14:12What did you speak to?
14:13Is it Saltwood?
14:28You're not as different from the old man as you like to think you are, you know, getting
14:31yourself in trouble and putting other people in the firing line.
14:35I spoke with you, Gatha, and it's Saltwood, it's over.
14:41When you've been around as long as I have, you get to know where the bodies are buried
14:44and where you can call in a few favours.
14:47Cheers, Phil.
14:49You can start taking this place seriously and I'll manage it until Shara gets back.
14:54Yeah, any of it.
14:55Well, I'll cover for you this afternoon.
14:57You need to concentrate on raising some cash.
14:59You're going to need it.
15:01A few words from me, Andy, go so far.
15:04He wants 100 grand.
15:14Yeah, she's a beauty, ma'am.
15:19You okay?
15:20Yeah.
15:22Phil hasn't meant to see Nigel this week.
15:28Give him time.
15:30He's Nigel's best friend.
15:32He'll be there.
15:36Oh, customers?
15:37Don't waste us time with them.
15:38They ain't going to buy nothing.
15:39They're doing mate, all right?
15:40All right, ladies?
15:42Well, you know, Nigel, I'm going to be chewing your ear off about this.
15:45Oh.
15:46How is he?
15:47Uh, yeah.
15:48It's good.
15:49Thanks.
15:49I went to see him earlier, but home.
15:53Everyone's visiting him and putting their weight.
15:55Well, most people.
15:58I'll tell you what, next time we get a classic car in, I'll take you both for a spin.
16:01I'll do the driving this time, now.
16:03All right.
16:04I think we could squeeze in a little sparkling water.
16:08Or something stronger.
16:10Don't you want to make your way home, or are there enough of me already, Azalee?
16:14No, no, no, no.
16:15Patrick's been playing dominoes with Holly for days.
16:17He won't miss me for hours.
16:18Come on.
16:24All right?
16:26You interested?
16:28Couldn't comment.
16:30You're a kept woman, aren't you?
16:32And nobody keeps me, thank you.
16:34It's a piggy boy who know that.
16:37You raid the piggy bank to buy this place or what?
16:41Uh, worse.
16:43Made a deal with the devil.
16:47It's a nice car, though.
16:48Yeah.
16:50What's all's fair on it?
16:51110.
16:52It's a bit low by today's standards, but it's not bad for a classic car.
16:57And also, you won't even notice, will you, when you've got the top down, the sun shining.
17:02There ain't nothing I don't know about this car.
17:05And if you buy it off me, then we'll get my dad off our backside.
17:09Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:11It's a nice motor.
17:13Let's see if a bite is as good as a bark, eh?
17:16You've got time for me to take for a test drive.
17:18Yeah, definitely.
17:19Let me get my stuff.
17:20Uh, you ain't gonna come.
17:21I'm only going round the block.
17:23Scout's honour.
17:24Come on.
17:24It's the first thing you learned.
17:26You don't let go of the keys.
17:27All right.
17:28Well, um, in that case, give me 30 minutes, I'll grab my licence and come back.
17:33Of course.
17:35Oh, it's easy work, Dad.
17:40What'd you have for?
17:41Phil, have you spoken to him yet?
17:43Call me.
17:45Vic.
17:47I'm getting out.
17:48I don't know what you said to Phil, but he sorted it.
17:52No one's coming for you.
17:57Phil called in a favour.
17:59I just need some money to pay off the boss.
18:02How much?
18:03Oh, only a couple grand.
18:05Oh, look, if I had anything that weren't tied up in the wedding...
18:07I'm not asking, OK?
18:09I'm going to sort this myself.
18:10And after all this, I'm going to go straight.
18:13You know, just start helping running the gym more and now.
18:18What about Ravi?
18:20He's the luckiest man alive.
18:30Ian's all about global reach.
18:33He came up with that.
18:34Global.
18:35Doesn't he get bored naming things after himself?
18:38I mean, beel this, beel that.
18:39You know what I call him?
18:41A beelend.
18:44He should be buried.
18:47Politically.
18:48Not literally, obviously.
18:50I just want to know who he's meeting with and what's his next move.
18:54I need a scoop, darling.
18:56Yes.
18:57Ah.
18:59Doors on a latch, but then again, brothels are always except walk-ins, don't they?
19:03Do you know what?
19:03Well, it really is too good to be true.
19:05I wish I had a journalist with me.
19:06I mean, past it to Pensioner preys on vulnerable staffer from opposition.
19:10Oh, that's a bit of a mouthful of a headline, isn't it?
19:13I think you need an editor.
19:14Oh, well.
19:15Tacky posters.
19:17Plying my staff with alcohol.
19:19I mean, I'm not ashamed of my past and you spelt counsellor wrong.
19:22Oh.
19:23Who said I wrote it?
19:26Oh, you double dipper.
19:29That's biophobic.
19:30And I wasn't even going to tell her anything about your campaign.
19:32Then why am I wasting my best vodka and a salary?
19:35Oh, you're paying him.
19:37Oh, more for you.
19:38I mean, I was just doing it as a favour for Lauren.
19:40You're sacked.
19:40Yeah.
19:41Technically, can you be sacked from a voluntary position?
19:43Er, yeah.
19:44I'm no-one's meal ticket.
19:46Oscar, darling.
19:47You're fired.
19:48I can do this on my own.
19:49Oh, really?
19:50Good luck.
19:54Oscar, darling.
19:56Get out.
20:02Smoother than I thought.
20:04You call that a smooth drive?
20:06Leave off.
20:07We don't drive manual in America.
20:11It's a nice motor, though, isn't it?
20:13Mm-hmm.
20:15That's what the bloke said earlier as well.
20:17We did sink in.
20:20Look, I could knock off 3%, maybe even 5% at a push.
20:23I can't afford this car, Lauren.
20:25I'm completely skint.
20:28Right.
20:30So, driving badly round the back ends of Orford is how you get your kicks, is it?
20:34On a mini?
20:35Yeah.
20:38Look, I'm sorry.
20:40Okay.
20:41I just know what it's like to have family on your back.
20:45So, I'm missing dinner for a deep and meaningful.
20:50Could buy you a sandwich.
20:52I can't afford that, if it's on offer.
20:56Go on, then.
20:58Give you a chance to check the crack on the back bumper.
21:01What crack?
21:02There ain't no crack.
21:03Reckon that'll take off more than that 5% you're offering.
21:10Oh, fuck.
21:20Oi!
21:21Get off me!
21:22Jesus!
21:23Get off me!
21:24I'm not here!
21:48Lauren!
21:51Are you alright?
21:56You alright? You okay? You okay? I'm here. I'm here. It's okay.
22:06Ooh!
22:10It's a wine in the afternoon and I'm cream-crackered.
22:15Lexi, you alright?
22:16Yeah, yeah, she's gone with Cam to see his brother, his wife.
22:19Oh, well, it might, er, free up a bit of time for you, eh?
22:26What do you mean?
22:27Everything that's been going on, er, Nigel's taken a, a bit of a back seat, hasn't he?
22:35Well, we could go together over the weekend.
22:37Listen, you stop going all about me going to see Nigel, yeah?
22:46You know, it's not my favourite place, either.
22:53But it's really important that he keeps to, er, a routine, you know?
22:59He sees his best mate again.
23:03He...
23:05You can't...
23:06Keep avoiding him.
23:11He needs you, Phil.
23:26Lauren, stay still.
23:27It looks worse than it feels.
23:29Stop fussing.
23:30Oh, Lauren.
23:32What happened?
23:33Just some thug lifted the car.
23:36Where were you?
23:38Lauren hadn't eaten, so I went to get her a sandwich.
23:40You called the police?
23:42Yes.
23:42Yes.
23:43Yes, they're on their way.
23:44I'm fine, by the way.
23:44Thank you for asking.
23:45Two days.
23:45Two days have been in business.
23:47Already had the car nicked.
23:49Well, at least they can't do much without the paperwork.
23:51Yeah, I...
23:53I took them with me.
23:54Lauren.
23:55I thought it was a done deal!
23:56Can you not just be grateful that she's all right?
23:57Yeah, of course I am.
23:58It says it's a 20 grand motor.
24:01You know, we're not always in here having nagey-bargy.
24:04Sometimes we do it in the pub.
24:05You should join us sometime.
24:07What's good?
24:08Well, you got what you wanted, Dad.
24:11The car's gone by the end of the day, so there you go.
24:13You win.
24:13It was a nice car, alright?
24:14It's bound to get attention.
24:17You just got unlucky, Lauren.
24:18That's all.
24:19Hopefully I'll, um, have more luck on my next test drive.
24:23I'm glad you're okay, Lauren.
24:26Thanks very much.
24:26Yeah, no worries.
24:27Thanks for stepping in.
24:29I'll get her back in one piece.
24:31It's for the cab.
24:32Cheers.
24:33See you later.
24:34See you later.
24:38Lauren, I just want the insurance out of you.
24:44Ravi?
24:46Ravi!
24:59Where have you been?
25:00I've been calling you.
25:01I went to the gym looking for you.
25:03You've been gone forever.
25:05I fancied a walk.
25:10Where are the kids?
25:12Look out, mate.
25:14I thought...
25:16I was worried.
25:18Yeah, I just wanted to...
25:20clear my head for a bit, you know?
25:24Priya, I don't want you to worry.
25:26At least I'm on my own.
25:28Yeah, yeah, I know everyone.
25:31Look, are you sure you can wait eight weeks for this referral?
25:35We can try and find the money to go private.
25:37No, no, no, no.
25:39Hey, let me try with the meds, yeah?
25:43Look.
25:44It really means a lot, you know?
25:47You're trying.
25:50I'll run you a bath, yeah?
25:55I love you.
25:57I love you.
25:59I love you.
26:29What, mate?
26:31I sorted them over, yeah?
26:33What the hell were you playing at?
26:36You weren't supposed to touch her.
26:37She got Larry.
26:39She's a live wire.
26:40When can you shift this motor, anyway?
26:42Tomorrow.
26:42My man on the other side moves quick.
26:45I'll take my cutting cash when it's there.
26:47You better hope she don't remember what you look like,
26:48or you ain't getting a call.
26:51Get out of my face now.
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