00:01Biblical archeologista Don Verdine
00:03ha ricevuto world wide acclaim
00:05per l'incredibile discoveries in the Holy Land.
00:08Don's discoveries have touched the lives of millions,
00:11confirming the miraculous narratives found in the Bible.
00:15We're standing in the very creek bend
00:17where David fought Goliath.
00:19If I'm David, I'm gonna get one chance
00:21for a kill shot right between the dice.
00:24You hit him in the uterus, Don.
00:26I am so sorry, Carol.
00:29Don, church attendance has been on a massive decline.
00:32Satan can get you to start your day off wrong,
00:35and he's gonna do it through breakfast cereal.
00:37Grape nuts.
00:38Nuts, testicles.
00:40Nice try, Satan.
00:41What I'm proposing is that we bring more artifacts here.
00:44It would be like a holy land in the good old U.S. of A,
00:47where it should be, not over there.
00:49I believe I have a lead on the location of Goliath's skull.
00:52Don, I'm gonna get you to Israel.
00:57Hey!
00:59It's illegal to dig up.
01:01We need that skull.
01:03I know in life, sometimes untruths are necessary for the greater good.
01:08Lord, I have mercy.
01:10You're grave robbing creep.
01:12I should report to you right now.
01:14I'm sure there's something we can work at.
01:16I want a wife done.
01:17She has to be gentle, sweet, and hot like stripper.
01:22Ladies and gentlemen, Goliath's skull.
01:25Congratulations.
01:26Your ministry is almost relevant again.
01:28I want you to find everyone involved and put a dead dog in each one of their cars.
01:33Well, front page news, everybody wants a piece of us.
01:37Wow, you're like grand.
01:40We need something big.
01:42The holy grail of artifacts.
01:44And what might that be?
01:45The holy grail.
01:47How the heck are we gonna find that?
01:50How am I supposed to know?
01:51Produce it for my anus.
01:53I ain't gonna study war no more.
01:56Study war no more.
01:57There are countless souls whose very salvation is at stake here.
02:02I got a jumble of thoughts just going on like there's a fog.
02:05Like Lucifer has farted inside my brain.
02:08It's alright sweetheart.
02:10What Al-Qaeda would want with the skull of a Philistine, I have no idea.
02:16They're possibly cloning an army of giant Al-Qaeda guys.
02:20Uh.
02:22Down by the riverside.
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