00:01You know, people say that actors lie for a living, but this is living a lie.
00:09Okay, Rob, when you're ready.
00:11Get ready, camera two.
00:17Oh, Jesus, fuck.
00:19Whoa.
00:19His head looks like somebody's taint.
00:21You barely look different.
00:23Thanks, man.
00:24Come on!
00:26We've been together for a thousand episodes!
00:30Congratulations on a thousand hours of being a massive sellout.
00:33What do you mean?
00:34Guys, guys, some pictures just came out where it looks like McConaughey's fucking a goat.
00:38McConaughey goat fuck?
00:39McConaughey goat fuck.
00:41Get him, get him, get the goat!
00:42Get the goat!
00:45Got some questions for that goat.
00:47Every night, millions of people watch our show.
00:49I just want to cover actual news, not Nicki Minaj's vagina fucking flopping out at the Grammys.
00:55You don't like that brown sugar?
00:56It has nothing to do with brown sugar.
00:58Look at this.
00:58Kim Jong-un wants to do an interview with Dave Skylark?
01:01He's a fan!
01:02Look at this butt fuck.
01:03If that ain't a real story, what is?
01:05Okay, let's fucking do it.
01:07We're going to North Korea!
01:15Mr. Rappaport.
01:16I'm Agent Lacey with Central Intelligence.
01:19Yo, Aaron!
01:20Woo!
01:21Yo, I don't know who I fucked last night, but I got some stink dick!
01:25Uh, Dave, it's actually, uh...
01:27Woo!
01:28Yo, Aaron, does your dick stink?
01:30It's so weird how you, like, just want to keep smelling it, though.
01:33Dave, uh, the CIA's here!
01:36You two are going to be in a room alone with Kim.
01:40We got the interview!
01:42The CIA would love it if you could take him out.
01:46Hmm?
01:47Take him out.
01:49Like, for drinks?
01:49Like, to dinner?
01:50Take him out in the town?
01:51No, uh, take him out.
01:53You want us to kill the leader of North Korea?
01:56Yes.
01:56What?
02:00Hello, North Korea!
02:04We might die, but we'd be total dickheads if we didn't do this.
02:08I've had a great life.
02:09I had the best, best friend.
02:11Fucked more women than Ellen DeGeneres.
02:14Kim must die!
02:15That's the American way.
02:19Is this what you want?
02:20You like it!
02:25You have to secure the payload.
02:27What do I do with it?
02:28What do I do with it?
02:29There are people coming.
02:29Where the fuck do I hide it?
02:33What if you hide it in your butt?
02:34I don't want to stick it in my ass.
02:35You got to put it in your butt right now.
02:37It's a little big to stick up my ass.
02:39They are closing in on you.
02:44The package is secure.
02:47That?
02:47Yes.
02:48Fucking weapon of ass destruction.
02:50You got fucked by RoboCop, dude.
02:52Bring your mind!
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