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Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh
00:31Let's go.
01:12melt.
01:19I'm going to use the sauce.
01:19I think I should purposely put the sauce on the side.
01:22I'm going to put it on the side.
01:42Oh, please, God, no.
02:00Okay.
02:18Wow, yes, that was really good.
02:21It's still working on it.
02:22No, it's beautiful.
02:23Don't make fun of me.
02:24Don't make fun, you have a guitar.
02:26It's a bass.
02:27It's the instrument of love.
02:28Oh, really?
02:29Yeah.
02:39Okay, I gotta go.
02:40You've made me late like six times already.
02:41Three times.
02:42I still read your place three times.
02:44Okay, three times.
02:45I love your place, by the way.
02:47Right.
02:48Don't front, you know, it's a dump.
02:49I'm not frontin'.
02:50I genuinely like it here.
02:54Wait, you have two of these?
02:58I don't remember this one.
02:59Oh.
03:00It's my scapula.
03:02What's that?
03:03It's for good luck.
03:05I used to wear it all the time, but then I stopped for some reason.
03:08I don't know.
03:09Guess I'm feeling lucky again.
03:18Oh, fuck.
03:18I really, I have to go.
03:19I gotta go.
03:20No, you can't go now.
03:21Really?
03:22Why not?
03:22What?
03:26Oh.
03:27Good morning.
03:36You gotta stop.
03:37You gotta stop.
03:37I'm not doing anything.
03:39Okay, you know what?
03:40Fuck.
03:41You have a really nice penis.
03:42You have an incredible penis, but I've got to go to work.
03:45Oh, you have to be a good little boy, right?
03:46I don't know.
03:47Fuck you.
03:49I gotta go.
03:50I'll see you soon.
03:56I'll see you soon.
04:43I'll see you soon.
04:46Bye.
04:52Oh, okay.
04:53Okay.
04:54Okay.
04:54Relax.
04:54Just take a shower.
04:55Okay.
04:57Oh, fuck.
05:00Oh, man, I really wanna fuck you.
05:03Will you let me fuck you?
05:05I don't really.
05:06Oh, fuck.
05:06Can you stop?
05:07I'm gonna come.
05:08I don't wanna come yet.
05:11Oh, fuck.
05:12I'm gonna come.
05:13No, no.
05:15Oh, fuck.
05:16I'm coming.
05:21Oh, fuck.
05:24Oh, fuck.
05:29Oh, fuck.
05:31Oh, fuck.
05:36Oh, fuck.
05:38Oh, fuck.
05:40Oh, fuck.
05:42Oh, fuck.
05:44Oh, fuck.
05:52Did you have pineapple yesterday?
05:54Why?
05:55I can still taste your...
05:56Oh, come on.
05:58Seriously?
05:59I gave you the three-second warning, so you can't blame me.
06:03I don't mean there's a bad thing.
06:04I'm just saying...
06:06Wait, you don't do that?
06:07Not on purpose.
06:08And not on an empty stomach.
06:12I kind of just get nervous because it's not, you know, 100% safe.
06:15I get that it's pretty safe, but you never know.
06:19Oh.
06:22What?
06:24I...
06:25What is that?
06:27I'm a guy who fucks around with a lot of guys, follows a lot of comments.
06:31Are you?
06:35I'm just paranoid.
06:37I sneeze and I think I've got HIV.
06:39I get tested all the time, even though I'm incredibly safe.
06:43So why do I get tested?
06:44You know, just to be 100% sure.
06:49My last boyfriend was positive.
06:53Really?
06:54Don't worry, I'm not.
06:56What, you freaked out?
06:58Dating someone that, you know...
07:01Yeah, a little bit.
07:02You know.
07:03Not a little bit myself.
07:04What are you going to do?
07:05You just deal.
07:08Right.
07:13I don't do that often, by the way.
07:14Do what?
07:16By this morning.
07:19I don't know.
07:20Couldn't help my son.
07:26Oh, shit.
07:27I gotta go.
07:28You gotta get the bill.
07:28You gotta go?
07:29Yeah, I gotta get to work.
07:30Oh, my.
07:31Okay, let's at least split it.
07:32I got it.
07:33Are you sure?
07:33Yeah.
07:34Alright.
07:36Oh, my God.
07:39They've got Goonies cards.
07:41Really?
07:42Yeah, that's like my favorite movie of all time.
07:44I never saw it.
07:45Are you serious?
07:46Mm-hmm.
07:47Oh, my God.
07:47I was in love with Sean Astin as a kid.
07:49Come on.
07:50One-Eyed Willie, Chunk.
07:52Hey, you guys.
07:55You'd have to see the movie to get how incredible that impression was.
07:59That was pretty adorable.
08:01Let me get you one.
08:02No, they're five bucks.
08:03Five bucks with 20-year-old gum jeans?
08:05That was the guy.
08:06That's the picture the guy was just doing, though.
08:08You had a weird ear like this.
08:10What's the face you made this morning?
08:12Shut up.
08:14Oh, my God.
08:15Okay.
08:16You can't tell me that that little boy is not completely hot.
08:19I wanted to make out with him so bad when I was younger.
08:22I used to have braces like that when I was little.
08:24Really?
08:25Mm-hmm.
08:25Let me see your teeth.
08:26Oh.
08:27Why?
08:27Mm-mm.
08:29I don't like them.
08:30They used to call me el dientes when I was little.
08:32They did?
08:32Oh, no.
08:33Now you have to show me.
08:34No.
08:34Come on, smile.
08:35Come on, show me those pearly whites.
08:37No.
08:37Give me a smile.
08:38Come on.
08:39Oh, see?
08:40You have beautiful teeth.
08:42You need to smile more often.
08:43I'll try.
08:44Okay.
08:50What?
08:52I don't know.
08:53Look what we're finding out about each other.
08:55Neither of us has AIDS.
08:57You don't like your teeth.
08:58You have bad taste in movies.
08:59I don't.
09:01We do.
09:03All right.
09:03You know what?
09:06I'm going to make a call right now.
09:08To work.
09:11Yeah?
09:12Mm-hmm.
09:14God, it's too much pressure now.
09:15It's like New Year's Eve.
09:17Let me choose.
09:18All right.
09:18You can choose, but it's got to be something I want to do.
09:20I'm not skipping work unless we do something great.
09:23Okay.
09:25I know where we're going.
09:27Yeah?
09:27Mm-hmm.
09:28Where?
09:29I just have to wait and see.
09:30You're not going to tell me?
09:31Nope.
09:33All right.
09:33Well, it better be good.
09:39I want to know about the first time you were with a guy.
09:44Why do you want to know that?
09:45Because I want to know.
09:47You want to tell me?
09:48No, I'll tell you.
09:48I was 15.
09:5015?
09:51I would have been into you at 15.
09:52Oh, no, no, no.
09:54My balls hadn't dropped yet, and I was seriously chunky.
09:57Me too.
09:57You were?
09:58Oh, yeah.
09:58I was big.
09:59Oh, good.
09:59I love that.
10:00I love ex-fatties.
10:01I feel like they're always nicer people.
10:05So picture this.
10:06We're on the way back from computer camp.
10:09Sexy.
10:09Yeah, so sexy.
10:10Right?
10:11Coming from Salt Lake City, and I'm on the back of the bus with Greg Reynolds,
10:15who had gone through puberty at nine and had hairy chest.
10:18He was like a real stud.
10:19That's true.
10:20I don't know.
10:21We both had girlfriends, so who's to say?
10:24But we're sitting on the bus, talking about, you know, computer stuff.
10:28There's a big blanket over us.
10:30And at one point, he takes my hand and puts it on his enormous penis.
10:38Hot.
10:38That's hot.
10:39Yeah.
10:41And he let you jerk him off?
10:42Mm-hmm.
10:43Did he come?
10:44Mm-hmm.
10:45In my hand.
10:46Yeah.
10:46Before we got to the Colorado border, which I remember because I was relieved that it happened
10:51in Utah and not on my home state.
10:54It's like it made a difference or something.
10:56I know.
10:57It's so stupid.
10:59That's hot.
11:00I like that.
11:01Yeah.
11:01Yeah.
11:06We're such tourists.
11:08What, are you going to take me boating on the lake?
11:11Are we going to the AIDS Memorial?
11:12I'm not sure I want to do that.
11:13Oh, the buffalo?
11:15Have we seen the buffalo?
11:16Oh, my God.
11:17Will you stop talking?
11:20I'm not good with silences, just so you know.
11:25I went on a date once with a guy and we ran out of things to say before the appetizers,
11:29and it was horrible.
11:31So we're doing good?
11:33Yeah.
11:35It's much better than that.
11:39The universe has long captured our imagination.
11:44Okay.
11:44I love it.
11:47It's probably my favorite place in the whole city.
11:50Really?
11:51I used to go to planetariums all the time with my mother before she sent me back to Mexico.
11:57Where'd you go to Mexico?
11:59I don't know.
12:00She sent me there because she thought it would be good for me, but then it wasn't, so I came
12:06back.
12:08Oh, and we would get hot dogs, too.
12:11I was a fat kid, remember?
12:13That's right.
12:14I think there was a song, too.
12:16There was a song?
12:17Mm-hmm.
12:18It's educational.
12:19Will you sing it to me?
12:22Please?
12:23Yeah.
12:24Can you sing it?
12:26Can you sing it?
12:27Mercurio, Venus, Tierra, Marte, Jupiter, Saturno.
12:31Uranus, Natum, Pluton.
12:33I can't believe I remember that one.
12:35How does it go?
12:36What does it say?
12:36Mercurio, Venus, T...
12:38Yeah, it's like the planets, you know?
12:39Yeah.
12:41Mercurio...
12:46What?
12:48This is sort of like when Ross took Rachel on their date.
12:51Oh, my God.
12:51It totally is.
12:53I want to be Ross.
12:54You mean Rachel?
12:56No, you're the one that's crazy into hair, and I'm the geek.
13:00Yeah, but I thought, you know, she's kind of like the boss, which is kind of like the
13:04talk.
13:04Okay, then yeah, I want to be her.
13:05That's what I thought.
13:07Because you wouldn't let me fuck you?
13:10Yeah, well...
13:11I was kind of a surprise, to be honest.
13:14Oh, my God.
13:16Why does everybody think that?
13:17What is it about my ass that screams out I want to be fucked?
13:20You don't need to be ashamed.
13:21I'm not ashamed.
13:22Whatever.
13:23It's totally fine if you're not into it.
13:25No, it's not that I'm not into it.
13:26I just...
13:28I'm not sure I like it very much.
13:30I mean, it feels kind of weird.
13:32Weird how?
13:35Well, I can get it in, but pretty much as soon as it's in, I'm like, take it out, take
13:40it out, take it out, take it out, take it out, take it out.
13:45Do you think you'd be embarrassed if your parents thought you were a bottom?
13:48No.
13:50Mmm, no.
13:53Okay.
13:54Okay, maybe a little bit.
13:55But that's all.
14:00You have bottom shame.
14:03Oh, my God, I think you're right.
14:05I think so.
14:07Why?
14:08What are you...
14:10Those terms are for people on websites.
14:13How do you know what you're into with a guy sexually until you're with them?
14:16Really?
14:17Yeah.
14:18I mean, you gotta be adaptable.
14:20Otherwise, you're gonna miss out.
14:22I do hate to miss out.
14:25That being said, I probably usually am Rachel.
14:30No, I knew it.
14:33You Rachel.
14:35Wait, which one is that again?
14:36I forget.
14:38Oh, right.
14:39She's the boss.
14:39She's the top.
14:40She's the top.
14:41Right?
14:41Well, good to know.
14:52Oh, my God.
14:54Are you serious?
14:55Yeah.
14:55She would come over every week and try to turn this Mormon.
14:57What?
14:58My mother was Catholic, though, so she wasn't gonna turn.
15:00But she loved to argue about God, so...
15:02How old were you?
15:03Thirteen, fourteen, maybe.
15:04God is young.
15:05Yeah, he was older, too.
15:06Eighteen, I think.
15:07Wow.
15:08He was beautiful.
15:09He used to wear these white, starched shirts.
15:11And his hair was perfect.
15:13He was completely gay, but...
15:15Maybe he's what got you into hair.
15:17Maybe he's what got me into white boys.
15:19I wanted to have sex with him so bad.
15:23I gave him a blowjob in my bedroom while my mother was cooking dinner downstairs.
15:27Oh my God, are you serious?
15:29Jesus Christ, when you were fourteen?
15:31Mm-hmm.
15:31Wow.
15:32Did you swallow his tongue?
15:34I'm kidding.
15:35You don't have to answer that.
15:37Ugh.
15:38He would come over every week until my mom caught on, and then it was over.
15:41Did she freak out?
15:43I think she was just happy I didn't turn warm in.
15:47My father, that was a completely different story.
15:49He didn't take it so well.
15:51How badly did he take it?
15:53Mm.
15:55Just badly.
15:56Is he okay now?
15:59Not really.
16:00What are you gonna do?
16:02This is so good.
16:03Mm.
16:05It's hitting the spot.
16:06You should not have gotten the veggie dog.
16:07That's disgusting.
16:08I told you.
16:09Well, it had been a really crappy Thanksgiving, because I've been thinking about telling my
16:12mom the whole time, but I just couldn't do it.
16:14And then I finally did it, on the way to the airport, in the car.
16:19Because I thought if we were in the car, she wouldn't have to look me in the eye.
16:22What did she say?
16:24Well, we didn't crash, so that was a good start.
16:27But, uh, she did manage to make it all about her, though.
16:29Why do these things always happen to me?
16:32What am I gonna tell your father?
16:34What are we gonna tell Keith and Marie from next door?
16:37Keith and Marie?
16:38Fucking Keith and Marie.
16:39You have no idea.
16:41And then she calls me up the next day, and she says,
16:45I've talked about it with your father, and we're fine.
16:49That's good.
16:50Right?
16:50Yeah, I guess so.
16:51But, I mean, we've never really talked about it since then.
16:53I mean, we talk about it a little bit, but not really.
16:56And we definitely never talk about relationships.
16:59Has she ever met any of your boyfriends?
17:01Boyfriend?
17:03He's only had one.
17:04Oh.
17:05Okay.
17:06And did she meet him?
17:07No.
17:08He really wanted to meet her, because he's one of those kids with PFLAG parents, but...
17:13PFLAG?
17:13He never met mine.
17:14Yeah, it's like parents of lesbian...
17:16I don't know if it's like if you love gays.
17:19But I don't know, I feel like...
17:21I don't want to know my parents' sex life.
17:23So why do they need to know about mine?
17:25You know, your parents meeting one of your boyfriends has nothing to do with your sex life.
17:28Yeah, no, I know.
17:29It's more about, you know, them meeting the person that you love,
17:32and you care about, and you share everything with them.
17:34No, I get it, I get it.
17:37I don't know, I feel like for parents, though, it is about the sex.
17:40Even if they are meeting a boyfriend, they're just imagining that dick up your ass.
17:45Your parents are obsessed with sex, I think.
17:47Maybe.
17:47I think anyone's is.
17:49It's like, you're like, I'm gay, and they're like, oh, so you're butt-fucking now.
17:54I like that San Francisco is a place where, like, gay sailors used to come after they got discharged from
17:59the Navy.
17:59Mm-hmm.
18:00You know, it's like, imagine if they knew that one day they'd be able to get married right here on
18:05the beach.
18:07It's crazy, huh?
18:08Yeah.
18:10Do you want to get married?
18:12Why, you asking?
18:14Is that what this is?
18:14I mean, hypothetically, do you want to get married?
18:18I don't know.
18:18Do you?
18:20Well, I know I don't want to be like one of those crazies who goes on two drunken dates like
18:23in Badlands and runs the city hall, but...
18:27Yeah, I think so.
18:29Me too.
18:30But then I think about my sister.
18:32She moved here to be with her boyfriend, and now she's getting married.
18:35That's awesome.
18:36Yeah, but I don't know if she really wanted to get married or if it's just because she felt pressure
18:39from everybody else too.
18:41And now we've got to deal with that pressure.
18:43You think your mother would be happy if you were married?
18:47Yeah, that's the thing.
18:48I think she would.
18:49Because she likes everything to be normal.
18:51And even if I were getting married to a guy, it would still make me just like everybody else.
18:58Hey, Papa.
19:00You worry about so much.
19:03You don't?
19:05I worry about getting a paycheck, paying my rent, but...
19:12Not the big stuff?
19:14That's what I got my senora for.
19:16Your what?
19:17Senora.
19:18Is that your grandma?
19:20That's my abuela.
19:22That's your abuela.
19:23Wait, so the senora, she rubs eggs all over your body and then cracks them into a bowl?
19:28Yep.
19:28Is she making a frittata?
19:30No.
19:31She reads the yolk and tells you if they're like, you know, bad vibes.
19:35Do they have to be organic eggs?
19:38Then she reads the cards.
19:42Okay, and tells you what?
19:43Well, last time she told me that I would have no money, but that I'd be happy.
19:47Okay.
19:48Oh, and that I was going to get cancer, but I was also going to have kids.
19:50What, she told you you were going to have cancer?
19:53That's so intense.
19:55How many kids?
19:56Two.
19:57Two girls.
19:59How much does she charge for this?
20:01Fifty bucks.
20:02Fifty bucks?
20:03Wow.
20:04No wonder she told you you're not going to have any money.
20:08Look, we all have our things that sound dumb to others.
20:11It helps me, okay?
20:13Some people have pills.
20:15Some people have drugs.
20:16Yeah, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but isn't it like taking responsibility out of your hands?
20:21No.
20:21And worse than that, like putting it into somebody else's?
20:23You don't have to listen to her.
20:24Yeah, but the seed is planted.
20:29How often do you go?
20:31Whenever I have something to ask her.
20:34Have you been since you met me?
20:36No.
20:38I don't believe you.
20:39I haven't.
20:40Okay.
20:41Okay, well let's say that you went since you met me.
20:44What would you ask her?
20:45I don't have anything I want to ask her.
20:47What do you think she'd say about me?
20:49Let's just, you know, let's just stop talking about this.
20:52We came all this way.
20:53Let's just enjoy the view.
20:56Okay.
20:57That's nice.
20:58It is nice.
20:59I told you.
21:02Does she supply her own eggs?
21:04I mean, I don't want to go, but I want to know if she supplies her own eggs.
21:06Oh my God.
21:07Does she?
21:09No, we have to bring them.
21:20So what's she going to ask me?
21:23Nothing.
21:25She's going to read your cards and then you have to ask the questions.
21:29Wait, I asked the questions?
21:30Mm-hmm.
21:31You didn't tell me that.
21:32What kind of questions?
21:34Whatever you want to know about.
21:36You can ask about the future.
21:38The future?
21:39The past.
21:41You can ask her about us if we're good together.
21:43I know you want to know that.
21:47Oh God, I just, I suddenly got very nervous.
21:50Why?
21:51I don't know.
21:52I'm freaking out.
21:52I told her I got goosebumps.
21:56Maybe you're afraid she'll see the real you in there.
22:00What if she says something terrible like I'm a bad person?
22:04Are you?
22:05Am I a bad...
22:09Oh my God, why is she so upset?
22:13Yeah.
22:13Buenas tardes.
22:14What did she say?
22:15She says she'll be right with us.
22:17Okay.
22:18Oh.
22:19You don't know Spanish.
22:22I...
22:22The sacapuntas is red.
22:26The pencil sharpener is red?
22:27It's red, yeah.
22:28And I can count to 13.
22:30And I can tell her I want to fuck her mother.
22:32Yeah, you probably shouldn't do that.
22:33No, probably not.
22:35Maybe I can translate?
22:37You're gonna translate?
22:39You're gonna translate?
22:39So she's gonna tell you all the terrible things first?
22:43I don't think I'm okay with that.
22:45Yes, sir.
22:46Yes, sir.
22:46Yes, sir.
22:58Do you think we should leave?
22:59I don't know what you think.
23:00I mean, we got the angst.
23:06Thanks for not making me stay in there.
23:08I think it was the right choice.
23:09Yeah.
23:10I think you're right.
23:12Thanks for today.
23:15It was fun.
23:16Yeah, it was nice just to hang out.
23:22Can I, uh, tell you something?
23:25Of course.
23:27I was sort of thinking about it today, and...
23:31I think it might be cool with me if you, uh...
23:37You want me to fuck you?
23:40Yeah.
23:42Okay.
23:42But not today.
23:44Uh-oh.
23:45I feel like maybe I opened up enough today.
23:47If you know what I mean.
23:50But I do.
23:51I want you to.
23:52I promise.
23:55Well, that's what.
23:56I know.
23:57I just, I wanted you to know.
24:05You want to fuck me instead?
24:09Fuck yeah.
24:12Right, I'll try.
24:32I don't know.
24:32I'll try it.
24:32I'll try it.
24:33I'll try.
24:34I'll try it again.
24:34Yeah, I can do it.
24:34That's in the middle of it.
24:38Back to the bench where your clothes were stolen
24:47This is a coastal town that they forgot to throw down
24:54Armageddon, come Armageddon, come Armageddon, come
25:04Every day is like Sunday
25:11Every day is silent and grey
25:17A shorting path over pebbles and sun
25:26And the strange dust lands on your hands
25:32And on your face
25:36On your face
25:40On your face
25:43On your face
25:51On your face
25:51On your face
25:53On your face
25:55On your face
25:56On your face
25:56On your face
25:57On your face
25:57On your face
25:57On your face
25:57On your face
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