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Short filmTranscript
00:07Oh my god, you hate it.
00:09I don't hate it.
00:13But you don't think I can see the horrible faces you're making?
00:15What? This is my normal everyday face. I can't control the way I look.
00:23That's crap, isn't it?
00:24No, but maybe it was fully rendered.
00:26No, I'm cancelling the presentation.
00:28No, no, no, no. Don't cancel the presentation. We can figure something out.
00:31No, it's shit enough that I made you come in on a Sunday.
00:34You didn't make me come in.
00:36I offered. I'm happy to help.
00:39On what seems like a gay national holiday by the sounds of it.
00:45It's more leather than gay, but yeah.
00:51I mean, it's just the name Folsom Street Fair.
00:54It just sounds organic, like you would get vegetables and cake and nitty goods.
01:00You could take your grandmother there for a nice day out.
01:02Oh, no, you can't take your grandma there.
01:04Unless you want to see her on a Catherine wheel being electrocuted.
01:09I'm not kidding.
01:11Oh my god.
01:12Yeah.
01:13It's true.
01:15So what about you? Are you into all this leather, whip, chain paraphernalia?
01:20Oof, men on hooks.
01:22Not your thing?
01:23No.
01:24Although I do kind of, I've seen that guy over there.
01:27I've got a soft spot for, you know, the old men who masturbate in the assless chaps.
01:33I bet you've got a pair of assless chaps in the back of your wardrobe somewhere.
01:36Maybe I do, and maybe I do.
01:43You're a mystery, Patrick Murray.
01:46What about you?
01:47Do you want to be down there?
01:49Down there?
01:49Yeah.
01:50Now?
01:50Yeah.
01:56No.
01:57So how long have you been together?
02:01Nearly two years.
02:04Wow, two years.
02:05Is that the longest you've ever been in a relationship?
02:08Yep.
02:10Doing this job and having a relationship is hard.
02:14Work takes over.
02:17And, you know, you have to find someone who understands what you do.
02:21That's not easy to find.
02:24Nope.
02:28And he doesn't have a problem with the fact that, you know, you're here and he's in Seattle?
02:34Yeah.
02:35He cares.
02:36But what are we supposed to do?
02:37My work's here, his work's there.
02:39Getting long distance relationships are so hard.
02:41Mm.
02:41You kind of get used to someone not being around, and when they are around, you have to get used
02:47to them all over again.
02:52I guess I've just never been in the experience where I had a distance relationship and had to keep people.
02:57Sorry.
02:57That's okay.
02:59Get out.
03:04Okay, that's kind of weird.
03:05Oh, wow.
03:07Speak of the devil.
03:09Hey.
03:10How are you?
03:13Good.
03:14Hang on a second.
03:16Hang on.
03:19Oh, God.
03:20That was cool.
03:21Wow.
03:22Smooth.
03:22Hey.
03:23Sorry.
03:31You're fine.
03:32He's absolutely fine.
03:33Okay.
03:45Sorry, Patrick.
03:46John's just arrived at the airport.
03:48Oh, I was, I didn't know he was in town.
03:50Yeah, he's got an interview in the morning, and then he's flying back to Seattle first thing.
03:53Oh, that's fine.
03:54Yeah, but I thought he was getting a car, and he thought I was picking him up.
03:58So now he's sat in the back of a taxi.
04:01Incredibly pissed off.
04:02Oh, no. Is he going to come here?
04:06No.
04:07He's gone home to the apartment.
04:08I just need to settle him in, and I'll be back in, what, an hour or something?
04:13Are you hungry? Can I bring something back for you?
04:15Oh, no, no, no. Don't be silly.
04:17You should not come back here. Just stay. Be with your boyfriend.
04:20I'll be fine. Seriously.
04:24Okay, well, you know what? I'm cancelling the presentation.
04:30No, no, but don't do that. Let me see what I can do first.
04:34Here.
04:34Yeah?
04:35Yeah.
04:39Cheers, Patrick.
04:42Cheers.
04:44It's getting better.
04:58Hey.
04:59Yo, what's up, girl?
05:00Why are you eating this today?
05:02I'm just working.
05:03What's up, Patrick?
05:03Yeah.
05:04Hi, Doris.
05:05He says, what's good, Mommy?
05:07Yo, tell Kevin you don't work on Sundays.
05:09Kevin's not here. He's busy with his boyfriend.
05:12Hold up. You're like two blocks away. Come meet us for lunch.
05:15Patrick, get your ass down here so I can spank it.
05:18Yeah, spank mine.
05:18Woo!
05:19Are you wasted?
05:21Spank it. Spank me.
05:22Oh, gross.
05:22Spank me, Patrick.
05:23Don't leave me here alone with him.
05:25Okay, okay.
05:25Oh, my God.
05:26I thought Don was going to come and meet you guys.
05:28No, he's MIA.
05:29Frank's at band practice, so you've got to come and watch with us.
05:32You never know.
05:33You could meet the love of your life here today.
05:36Oh.
05:37Woo!
05:38Thank you very much.
05:39Do you see these dirty pigs?
05:42We want to see them get sploogged.
05:45Hey.
05:45Hey.
05:46There he is all alive.
05:47Oh, my God. Is he there?
05:49Awesome.
05:51Let's get you leathered up, yeah?
05:52Yeah.
05:59I don't even know what this is.
06:00Is it a fake anus?
06:01Why would anybody even want a fake anus?
06:04Frank would look seriously fucking hot in this.
06:06I wish I could wear it.
06:07No one's stopping you.
06:08No, I'm saying I wish I was one of those people who could wear it,
06:11something like that, and not give a shit.
06:13Hey, come on.
06:13I will, if you will.
06:15What?
06:15I'm wearing this.
06:16No, you're not.
06:17Yes.
06:18No, no way.
06:19It's happening.
06:19I am not wearing leather in public.
06:21Not today.
06:21What are you talking about, Patrick?
06:22You so should.
06:23You would look so fine all leathered up.
06:25Yeah, but very gay, so...
06:27Oh, fuck you.
06:27That's not why.
06:28No, it's just...
06:29Normally, leather makes me very sweaty, but...
06:31Yeah, keep telling yourself that.
06:33Don't wear your shirt underneath it.
06:35Take your shirt off.
06:35You look like my Uncle Thomas from Reno.
06:38No, it's good.
06:38It's like it's leather casual.
06:39No, seriously, take your shirt off and hurry up about it.
06:42I gotta be somewhere at once.
06:43You think I should scotch guard it in case I get ejaculated on?
06:45You probably should.
06:46Where are we going?
06:47Take off your shirt and I'll tell you.
06:49I am not taking off my shirt.
06:51No.
06:51What the fuck is Dom?
06:54No, no, no.
06:56No, no, no.
06:58God.
07:07May I help you?
07:09Yeah, I'm here to see the owner.
07:11That's me.
07:12George Fisher and you're...
07:13Oh, I'm Dom.
07:15Sorry, I might be looking for somebody else.
07:19White man.
07:20Handsome.
07:21Looks younger than me, but isn't.
07:22Yeah.
07:23Is he here?
07:24Lynn.
07:27Hey.
07:28Lynn, this is Dom.
07:30He thinks you're handsome.
07:32I see you've met George.
07:34Yeah, I thought you were the owner.
07:35Co-owner.
07:36George is my partner.
07:38Oh, are you two partners?
07:39He's single.
07:42Thank you, George.
07:44So, uh, I was just in the neighborhood and, uh, wondering if, uh, are you free for lunch?
07:51He's free.
07:54Apparently I'm free.
07:57Where are we going?
07:58You'll see when we get there.
07:59Okay, well, hurry up, because I've got to get back to work.
08:01Oh, yeah?
08:01Back to your dot-com billionaire butt buddy?
08:04Stop saying that.
08:04He's just my boss.
08:05His ears you want to pull when your face fuck him with?
08:07Oh, come on.
08:08He's got a boyfriend.
08:09Yeah.
08:10He's with right now I'm probably having sex with.
08:11Yeah, I bet you're not jealous about that at all.
08:13I'm not.
08:14You're jealous because I'm finally happy and fulfilled at work.
08:18I'm happy at work, too, you know.
08:20I thought you got fired.
08:23What, you got a new job?
08:24Here.
08:26Oh, no.
08:27Come on.
08:27You promised me.
08:28Don't become a rent boy.
08:30Sorry.
08:36Hey, CJ.
08:40Agustin.
08:41From the coffee shop.
08:43Hey, man.
08:44I didn't recognize you without that frosting in your beard.
08:47You must say that to all the boys.
08:48Um, this is Patrick.
08:50What's up, Patrick?
08:51Hello.
08:52Hello.
08:53So, can we talk for a sec?
08:55Uh, can I get you a beer?
08:58You can buy me lunch.
09:01You got any cash on you?
09:02All right.
09:03Please.
09:03Please.
09:04Where would you like to go?
09:05You know, I've always loved to cook.
09:07And my dad was an amazing cook.
09:09And actually had a restaurant.
09:10It was in this gnarly old gas station off the I-5.
09:14But it was the best peri-peri chicken you've ever had.
09:17The best what?
09:18Peri-peri chicken.
09:21I don't think I've even ever heard that word said before, much less eat it.
09:24Really?
09:25Yeah.
09:25It's Portuguese chicken.
09:27It's really delicious.
09:29Okay.
09:29So, authentic Portuguese food and a gas station off I-5.
09:34Yeah.
09:35What?
09:35It was a great fucking place.
09:37Okay.
09:38It was just the wrong location.
09:40You think?
09:42And he was kind of shit at keeping his books, you know.
09:46And then when he got sick, I mean, I was 17.
09:49So, I didn't know anything about running a restaurant.
09:52What do you do now?
09:55There's still a few things I don't understand.
09:58Like, how does anyone in this town afford to open a new one?
10:02And yet they keep doing it.
10:04Yeah.
10:07Which is actually why I wanted to take you to lunch.
10:13Not to ask you for money or anything.
10:15Just relax.
10:17No, it's just, you know, you've done this before.
10:20You open Bud's and, you know, then the wine shop.
10:24So, this, this isn't a date.
10:32Oh, shit.
10:33No, no.
10:34I mean, you know, we meet in a steam room, naked.
10:38And then you show up at my flower shop and...
10:40Yeah, no, of course.
10:41I'm, I'm really sorry.
10:42I should have said something.
10:43I just, I, I...
10:44I'm messing with you.
10:47Are you?
10:48Yeah.
10:49Tell me about your place.
10:50I'm just hoping it's not anywhere near the I-5.
10:54So, um, what do most people want when they hire you?
10:57It's a long list, man.
10:59Uh, some just want to see me naked.
11:02Some just want to fuck.
11:04I have this one client.
11:05He likes to hang out and watch TV.
11:07Oh, that's kind of sweet.
11:08Well, I jerk him off, call him a faggot.
11:10Okay, that's not so sweet.
11:12People just want me to do the things that they're too shit-scared to ask for in their normal life.
11:16So you actually know these guys better than anybody else does?
11:20I guess.
11:21I know part of them.
11:23Why, you're like a therapist.
11:24I just fuck people for a living.
11:27This bratwurst is unbelievable.
11:28You have to try this.
11:29Oh, no, he can't.
11:30He's a vegetarian.
11:32Oh, my God, that's so good.
11:34Oh, my God, what'd you just do?
11:35What?
11:36It's not that I can't eat meat.
11:37I just choose not to.
11:38Since when?
11:38Is that the rule?
11:39Since always.
11:40What, what, what?
11:41What do you want my case about it?
11:42So what is it?
11:43That you two want that you can't ask each other.
11:46Oh, us?
11:47Are you kidding?
11:48No, no, no.
11:48We don't.
11:49We're not.
11:50No, we just went to college.
11:51Yeah, actually, look, I'm actually, I'm doing a project.
11:53I'm an artist.
11:53I was hoping that maybe you and I could do something.
11:56Are you sure you don't just want to fuck me?
11:59Like, no offense, but I get a lot of artists who say that they want to work with me, but
12:03really, they all just want to fuck me.
12:05Which is fine.
12:06So why waste time pretending, Frank?
12:09Yeah, right.
12:10No, this is, uh, this is legit.
12:14Promise.
12:16Just so you know, my rate's $2.20 an hour.
12:18Whether we fuck or not, cool?
12:24You do realize you just hired a prostitute, right?
12:26His name is C.J. Patrick, and sex workers are people, too.
12:29No, I get that, and he seemed like a nice guy, but I'm certain he's been a little worried about
12:32you.
12:32Yeah, so am I.
12:33Where the fuck are the fucking porta-potties?
12:34I mean, you and Frank just moved in together, and now you're having three ways in hiring prostitutes and eating
12:39meat?
12:39I can't believe that happened.
12:41Okay, yeah, the meat was a mistake.
12:42A mistake I am now paying for.
12:46What?
12:47How far away is your office?
12:48Why?
12:49Because if I have to wait in this line, I'm going to ruin my cutoff suit.
12:52Are you serious?
12:53Okay, come on.
12:53This way, this way, this way, this way.
12:56Excuse us.
12:57Where are you going?
12:57I'm about to shit myself.
12:59Oh!
12:59Can you mince your words a little bit more?
13:00Sorry, coming through.
13:02I met George when he and his friend Brian were selling geraniums and some skunky weed out of an old
13:09panhandle Victorian.
13:10That sounds awesome.
13:11Yeah.
13:12Well, being the nice hippie fags that they were, they wanted to open a flower shop.
13:16Of course.
13:17I happened to be a loan officer at the time, but they had nothing.
13:21They had no track record.
13:23But you gave them a loan anyway.
13:24No.
13:25I threw them out of my office.
13:27And then a month later, I asked Brian to move in with me.
13:32Six months later, we opened the flower shop.
13:35So you're saying I need to start dating loan officers?
13:37No, no.
13:38I'm saying that the restaurant business is like any other business.
13:41It has less to do with how smart or talented or experienced you are.
13:45Not that that hurts, right?
13:47But more to do with who you know.
13:49Oh, fuck.
13:51I mean, I don't know anyone who, you know, has half a million dollars.
13:56Do you?
13:58I know some people.
14:02Where am I going?
14:03Where am I going?
14:03Here, come.
14:03Here we go.
14:07Wow.
14:07That's kind of hip.
14:08Nice.
14:10Hey, you didn't say they made Naval Destroyer.
14:12Oh, man.
14:12Oh, don't tell me you're a 40-year-old career bartender who's also into video games.
14:16Oh, my God.
14:16Hugo, how are you still single?
14:18Oh, man.
14:18Play with me.
14:19No, I'm not.
14:20I don't want to play a video game.
14:21Oh, it's so...
14:25Are you okay in there?
14:27Does it smell like I'm okay?
14:29I'm trying to breathe through my mouth.
14:33You know this is God's punishment, right?
14:35For what?
14:37For hiring a hooker.
14:41You know, if God exists, I hope she has better things to do than give people the explosive shit.
14:48Can you give me, like, a Coke or something?
14:53My stomach is very unhappy right now.
14:56Okay.
14:58I'll meet you out there.
14:59Yeah.
15:02So tell me about this project.
15:04Is it about Rent Boys?
15:06No.
15:07It's about CJ.
15:08What's the difference?
15:09Well, it's about him.
15:13I just want to follow him around, you know?
15:16Shoot some video.
15:17See what happens.
15:18I really, I just, I can't overthink it, you know?
15:20I just got to do it.
15:22You going to watch him fuck people?
15:24Maybe.
15:25Oof.
15:25I don't know.
15:26If I was paying someone for sex, I don't think I'd want you in the corner with your crayons and
15:29sketchpad.
15:30I think it needs to be more about how he makes people feel.
15:34He did have something, that guy, but it could have just been the jockstrap.
15:38You know, if anything, it really is more about intimacy than sex.
15:41Oh, come on.
15:43I don't think jerking off some random guy on a sofa has much to do with intimacy.
15:47Of course it does.
15:49It's all about how paying someone allows you to truly be yourself.
15:53No.
15:54That is a fantasy.
15:56Intimacy is me in that bathroom smelling your shit.
15:59Oh my God.
16:00What do you know about intimacy?
16:02You've had like one boyfriend your entire life?
16:05Well, that's just because I haven't met the right person yet and I don't want to compromise.
16:08You don't...
16:10Patrick.
16:10Patrick, all you do is compromise.
16:12That's not true.
16:13Yeah, it is true.
16:14You're doing it right now.
16:15You're basically, what, having a fantasy relationship with your boss?
16:18Oh, come on.
16:18I am not having a fantasy relationship with my boss.
16:21Oh, yeah.
16:21And the real fucked up thing about it is you get to flirt with him at work and then he
16:25gets
16:25to go home to his boyfriend.
16:31Sorry.
16:32I'm being horrible.
16:34Must be the meat.
16:41Thank you for lunch.
16:42Yeah, pleasure.
16:43I really enjoyed myself.
16:44Yeah, me too.
16:47So, what are you doing tonight?
16:49Wait, let me cook for you.
16:51I'll come to your place.
16:52We won't talk business, I promise.
16:54Be fun.
16:55Just you and me and a little peri-peri.
17:00What are you doing?
17:02You're not interested in me, remember?
17:05No, I just, you know, I want you to taste my chicken.
17:15Just put a business plan together and I'll take a look at it, okay?
17:19Okay.
17:20I'll, uh, drop it off next week.
17:22Well, just take your time.
17:22There's no rush.
17:23There is, actually.
17:25I'm, uh, turning 40 in a couple of weeks.
17:30I look forward to reading your book.
17:33Good.
17:34All right.
17:35Okay.
17:43Ah, get off me, get off me.
17:46How do I get him to move backwards?
17:48Ah, God, you're fucking me.
17:50I can't.
17:51Uh-oh, uh-oh.
17:54Wow, Hugo.
17:55Yep.
17:55I'm impressed.
17:56I can't believe you're beating her.
17:57Please, tell me, tell me how I can kill him.
18:01Hello.
18:04Uh, hi.
18:06Hello, friends of Patrick.
18:08How's it going?
18:09Um, everybody, this is, uh, Kevin, my boss.
18:11Oh.
18:12Oh, this is the famous Kevin.
18:15Emily?
18:15Uh, this is Doris.
18:17We're just heading out.
18:18We're just heading out.
18:18Hello.
18:18Hello, Doris.
18:19Hey.
18:20Well, actually, we're going to the stud later if you want to join.
18:22Kevin, you should bring your...
18:24Uh, well, I think we've got our work cut out, but cheers.
18:27Have fun.
18:29Yeah, have fun.
18:30Okay.
18:31Hugo, by the way.
18:32Hi, Hugo.
18:32It's a great game.
18:33Thank you very much.
18:33I'm almost done with it, man.
18:34I'm trying to.
18:35Yep.
18:35Bye, have fun.
18:36I gotta go.
18:36Bye.
18:37Bye.
18:42So you made it to Folsom after all?
18:44Yes.
18:45Got yourself a nice top, too.
18:48Um, listen, I was, I'm sorry.
18:51I was just grabbing lunch, and then I ran into those guys, and we ended up getting sucked into
18:55the leather vortex.
18:57It's fine.
18:58John wanted to get some sleep before his interview tomorrow, so I thought, um, should we get back?
19:08Cool.
19:11It's so tough to make a troll sexy.
19:14But you fucking did it.
19:15That is the, hands down, the sexiest troll I've ever seen.
19:20See, I was obsessed with getting in beefy pecs.
19:22I can tell.
19:23Those are some, those are some huge titties.
19:27Jesus, look at that.
19:28Nice.
19:29Good choice.
19:29Bravo.
19:30Thank you so much.
19:30That's why I like talking to you about this stuff.
19:32You appreciate the finer points.
19:35I appreciate that.
19:36I appreciate you appreciating it.
19:41Oh, God.
19:44Are you hungry?
19:47Um, I don't know.
19:48It's, uh, I mean, we could get takeout if you fancy something.
19:52I mean, can we, can we get fried chicken?
19:54Please, please, can we get fried chicken?
19:56I'm just not allowed it at home.
19:57John refuses flat out.
20:01Really?
20:02Yeah.
20:04Anything fried, basically.
20:06Hmm.
20:09Um, I, you know, I'm not really, I'm not hungry.
20:12And do you think the workers are going to finish this tonight in all reality?
20:15I mean, um, no, probably not.
20:22So we should probably cancel the presentation tomorrow?
20:27Because, I mean, if that's the case, you know, then I might go.
20:30If it's all right with you, I just, you know, if we're not going to get anywhere with this.
20:34Mm-hmm.
20:37Cool.
20:39Okay, then, uh, I will see you bright and early.
20:43See you tomorrow.
20:43Okay.
20:45Care for getting home.
20:45It's kind of crazy out there.
20:46Yeah, I don't want to get fished.
20:48No.
20:49Yeah, don't forget that.
20:51Take my little friend here.
20:54See you.
20:55See you, Patrick.
21:01An open mic, nice.
21:03Is that right?
21:10Is there no hope?
21:13Will I ever learn?
21:15Will I sit and stare?
21:17Will I ever learn?
21:20How not to care?
21:23Ladies and gentlemen, I'm in the holiday.
21:27Those are up to us, this is your 8th grade.
21:32Hey.
21:33Hey.
21:33Where's Kevin?
21:35I left him at the office.
21:37Wow.
21:38Good for you.
21:40For me?
21:41Yeah.
21:42All right.
21:44Oh, my God.
21:45Look at you fucking balsam queen.
21:48Yes.
21:49All right.
21:49How was it?
21:50Incredible.
21:50I saw my first pussy ring.
21:52Tell me everything.
21:53How was CJ?
21:54CJ, he's great.
21:56He's in.
21:57Tony Balsam.
21:58It's amazing.
21:59Wait, wait, wait.
22:00How did you get him?
22:02He's just into it.
22:03He likes the idea.
22:04What's up, Jesse?
22:05Hi, Augustine.
22:06Hey, how was band practice?
22:07Yeah, I think we're going to be playing the new stuff at the rickshops.
22:11Fuck yeah.
22:11Rock and rock.
22:12Hey, Frankie.
22:13Look at you.
22:14Look at you.
22:15You're so gorgeous.
22:16I should cut your face.
22:17Oh, my God.
22:18I should douse you in gasoline.
22:19Burn me.
22:20All right.
22:21What are we doing?
22:21Are we here to talk?
22:22Are we here to dance?
22:23We're here to dance.
22:25Wow.
22:38How come you're not dancing?
22:41You see that guy over there in the tank top?
22:44No.
22:46That's Richie.
22:48That's Richie.
22:49Mm-hmm.
22:50Well, he's fucking hot.
22:52I know.
22:53Why don't you go talk to him?
22:54I can't.
22:55He never responded to my text, so.
22:58Oh, that's weird.
22:59Perseverance.
23:01Go fetch.
23:02Go fetch.
23:03Push.
23:04Woo.
23:05Woo.
23:29You look.
23:32Yeah.
23:36I like it.
23:39Really?
23:41Yeah.
23:42Looks good.
23:47So, uh, how have you been?
23:53I've been all right.
23:55You know?
23:56Still cut.
24:03Look.
24:05That wasn't me the other night.
24:08I'm not...
24:09When you...
24:10What you thought that I was, uh, trying to go for, I'm not looking for that kind of thing.
24:19Can you hear me in here?
24:20It's really loud.
24:21I can hear you.
24:24Should I shut up and go away?
24:46I can hear you.
24:50Somebody, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight,
25:08tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight,
25:09tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight,
25:09tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight,
25:11tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight,
25:13Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
25:43Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
26:13Oh, oh, oh, oh.
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