00:26Do you think Amy Schumer
00:27would like me? No. Why? It's not like I'm perpetually armed or at sundown I turn into one of those
00:35vampires with no sense of humor or I have that plant strapped to me that only blooms once every
00:4050 years and smells disgusting. What plant? That plant, that plant. People line up to see even
00:44though it smells like dead fish. What are you doing? Looking up that plant. Oh, this is not a teachable
00:49moment. We're having a very serious conversation here. Hmm, corpse flower. Some only bloom once a
00:54decade. Hmm. Happy? I like knowing things. Tell me, why wouldn't Amy Schumer like me? Water sports.
01:01What? Every single time I see her in a magazine, she's on vacation doing water sports.
01:06Oh, no. That would not work at all.
01:14Do you think John Oliver would find me hot?
01:18Do you think John Oliver would find me hot? No?
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