- 8 minutes ago
A young Iranian-American woman goes to great lengths to appease her parents and their need to see her settled down.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You are so beautiful, it's gorgeous.
00:00:20Just like this.
00:00:22I am very beautiful.
00:00:23I am so beautiful.
00:00:24It's beautiful.
00:00:25I am so beautiful.
00:00:26I am so beautiful.
00:00:27He's beautiful, gorgeous, just like your comrade.
00:00:31He's the perfect match for our new son.
00:00:42Nusha?
00:00:45Coming!
00:00:58Hey.
00:00:59Yeah?
00:00:59Hurry up, my mom's waiting.
00:01:00Yeah.
00:01:01Where are your shoes?
00:01:02Yeah, right here.
00:01:03Okay, don't forget to light the candles.
00:01:04Yeah.
00:01:05Okay?
00:01:06Yep, I got you.
00:01:07Alright.
00:01:07Yep.
00:01:19Happy birthday to you.
00:01:22Happy birthday to you.
00:01:29Happy birthday, future mother-in-law.
00:01:37Happy birthday to you.
00:01:52Nushin.
00:01:53Nusha.
00:01:54Nusha.
00:01:55Nusha.
00:01:56We need to talk.
00:01:59Yeah.
00:02:03We, I mean, I think that...
00:02:08You may not be the best fit for our comrade.
00:02:12Okay?
00:02:13Are you breaking up with me?
00:02:17Is your mother breaking up with me?
00:02:20We want the ring back.
00:02:23Aww.
00:02:25Give it back.
00:02:26Give it back.
00:02:34These peanuts are fake.
00:02:36I love you.
00:02:38To me, Koshino.
00:02:40She's a freak.
00:02:42Such a freak.
00:02:44Baby.
00:02:48I've got a feeling
00:02:50You've got an attitude
00:02:53Aren't we just two fucking peas in the pod?
00:02:58Do what you gotta do
00:03:00Say what you wanna say
00:03:03What do you care if I remember your name anyway?
00:03:07Oh, I can't see it any other way
00:03:15Under the skin
00:03:17You wouldn't listen
00:03:19I had to take over
00:03:23Over
00:03:25Over
00:03:27Over
00:03:27Over
00:03:31Over
00:03:31Over
00:03:34Come on, come on.
00:03:35You feel that burn?
00:03:36Four, three,
00:03:37Just leave me, girl, in the back.
00:03:39Why you going so slow?
00:03:40This isn't a yoga class.
00:03:42Move those legs.
00:03:45We should get married
00:03:46You'll need to take some time
00:03:49Think it over
00:03:51Woo ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
00:04:00Whoa ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh THE T-Fish
00:04:15Who loves mommy? Does Lulu love mommy?
00:04:19What did you say?
00:04:21Did you just say Dartmouth?
00:04:24She's a genius. I can already tell by her speech pattern.
00:04:29Personally, I'm relieved that it's all over.
00:04:31How did I let it get that far? Did I even love him?
00:04:34No. You sabotaged the entire thing.
00:04:36You were dickmatized. Explain yourself.
00:04:39You were in love with his dick.
00:04:40You only talked about how great the sex was.
00:04:43You never talked about anything that you actually liked about him
00:04:46or anything that you guys had in common.
00:04:49Why did you guys not tell me sooner?
00:04:52Oh, God, we didn't want to interrupt your decathlon.
00:04:55Plus, Miss Ziba loved him,
00:04:57and you don't like to disappoint Miss Ziba.
00:04:59I mean, nobody does.
00:05:00She convinced me I was straight once.
00:05:02You remember Michael?
00:05:03Oh, my God. I was doing him for my mom.
00:05:09And you liked it.
00:05:12It's my fault.
00:05:14Actually, it's your father's fault.
00:05:17He let you be too American.
00:05:19But it's not too late.
00:05:21We can fix this.
00:05:27Hello, Faribudzu.
00:05:29Oh, oh. Ziba-chan.
00:05:30Hi.
00:05:31Hi, Aziza, dear.
00:05:33Good to see you.
00:05:34Good to see you.
00:05:35Nusha, come.
00:05:37Yes, I saw.
00:05:37Hi, Aziza.
00:05:39Nusha, what happened to that rock on your finger, Aziza?
00:05:41Oh, they weren't good enough.
00:05:43I heard they were filing for bankruptcy.
00:05:45Mom!
00:05:47It was impotent.
00:05:48That's not true.
00:05:49It didn't work out.
00:05:51Oh, don't worry, Aziza.
00:05:53Don't worry.
00:05:54I have a son 30 years old, and he likes older women.
00:05:56I want to show the picture.
00:05:57Look at that.
00:05:58Look at the picture.
00:05:59Here, here.
00:06:00Look at that.
00:06:01More, more.
00:06:02Look at that one.
00:06:07Look at this one.
00:06:11Wow.
00:06:11He's just like his father in that department.
00:06:16Look at that.
00:06:16Look at that.
00:06:18Look at that.
00:06:20Hey, can you watch it?
00:06:22You put me go.
00:06:28Hi.
00:06:29Hi.
00:06:30Are you OK?
00:06:32So sorry.
00:06:33Oh, shit.
00:06:36Hi.
00:06:36You OK?
00:06:37Oh, there you go.
00:06:38What's up?
00:06:39I don't know.
00:06:40Nusha, are you coming to the rally tomorrow night?
00:06:42Gas.
00:06:43Gas?
00:06:44Yes.
00:06:44We need at least 100 people there to get some press.
00:06:47Babe, I'll be there.
00:06:49Yeah, you better be.
00:06:51Yeah.
00:06:51Hang in there, girl.
00:06:52Lynn, does everybody know my business?
00:06:54Yeah.
00:06:55RJ, are you coming to the rally tomorrow?
00:06:56Yeah.
00:06:57OK, good.
00:06:57You shared it on all of our social media platforms, right?
00:07:00It's been on Facebook, and everybody has said there was me.
00:07:02Oh, there's like 100 people.
00:07:03Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it.
00:07:04Everyone's a Facebook activist.
00:07:05When it comes to actually showing up, they'd rather go to happy hour.
00:07:08Happy hour is more fun than protesting sexual assault.
00:07:11Shut up, RJ.
00:07:11OK, OK, enough, enough.
00:07:13Oh, did you get all the declarations for the Jones case?
00:07:17I need your draft with a memo.
00:07:19I'm 100% on it.
00:07:20It's just that part of the research was unclear, so I had to verify with co-counsel, and they're
00:07:24really slow to respond.
00:07:25I don't care.
00:07:26Just figure it out today.
00:07:28Actually, I was able to get clarification.
00:07:31I finished the draft.
00:07:33Great.
00:07:33I figured you had so much on your plate.
00:07:35I don't need you to do my job.
00:07:37I was on it.
00:07:38I heard you got dumped.
00:07:39Out of my office.
00:07:39OK, please, guys, please show up to the rally.
00:07:41Please do not leave me hanging.
00:07:43Oh, my God, we're coming to your rally.
00:07:44And just so you know, I'm available.
00:07:47No.
00:07:48You sure?
00:07:49I'll make sure you get a gold medal at this big athelon.
00:07:54Lynn?
00:07:55What's up, sweetie?
00:07:57Did you tell everybody my business?
00:07:59I definitely did.
00:08:00See you at the rally.
00:08:00I'm sorry, are you all still in my office?
00:08:05I won't think about it.
00:08:14I can't sleep until you get married.
00:08:17I can probably get you some amp-amp.
00:08:20I don't think you tried hard enough.
00:08:22What if I didn't really like him, Mom?
00:08:24You should try again.
00:08:26You're running out of time, you know.
00:08:27Hey.
00:08:28Okay.
00:08:29Belishko.
00:08:30She's a lesbian.
00:08:32Maybe you should stop hanging out with those girls.
00:08:35Mom, get off my case, OK?
00:08:37I need some time to find myself.
00:08:39Oh, find yourself.
00:08:41What do you mean, find yourself?
00:08:43There you are.
00:08:43I found you.
00:08:44Now, find a husband.
00:08:46How has marriage even survived as an institution?
00:08:49Hmm?
00:08:50Our values have totally shifted.
00:08:53There's been radical social upheaval.
00:08:56Gender equality.
00:08:58Female empowerment.
00:09:00I have arranged for you to go out with Dr. Asad's son tomorrow.
00:09:03I can't tomorrow.
00:09:04He has a PhD.
00:09:05It's Lynn's protest tomorrow, Mom.
00:09:07I can't.
00:09:08You go to protests all the time.
00:09:11What's wrong with you?
00:09:12Are you a communist?
00:09:13All lesbians are communists.
00:09:16If all.
00:09:18Aren't they?
00:09:19Hey, hey!
00:09:20Ho, ho!
00:09:21Patriarchy has got to go!
00:09:23Hey, hey!
00:09:24Ho, ho!
00:09:25Patriarchy has got to go!
00:09:27I can't believe this turnout.
00:09:28I knew it.
00:09:29I thought people cared more than this.
00:09:30Everybody's at happy hour.
00:09:32Here, just maybe they'll still liven things up.
00:09:34Hold this.
00:09:34I told every...
00:09:35Ho, ho!
00:09:37Yeah.
00:09:38Wait, I challenged the male game.
00:09:40Why would you get around that bush?
00:09:42That is huge.
00:09:43Hey, ho, ho!
00:09:45Patriarchy has got to go!
00:09:46Oh, my God, it's the menstruals.
00:09:47Ho, ho!
00:09:48They're this all-nail feminist group.
00:09:49I read about them on BuzzFeed.
00:09:50They, like, show up at protests.
00:09:52They're performance artists.
00:09:52They're doing stuff like that.
00:09:54Hi, guys.
00:09:55Hi.
00:09:56Mind if we join?
00:09:57We would love that.
00:09:57How did you hear about this?
00:09:58Are you kidding?
00:09:59We're all huge followers of Pussies Against Patriarchy.
00:10:01That's my peach!
00:10:02Ho, ho!
00:10:04Hi, I'm Alex.
00:10:05I'm Lynn.
00:10:06I'm Tessa.
00:10:07I'm Anusha.
00:10:08Hi, Anusha.
00:10:10I love your penis.
00:10:13Thanks.
00:10:13Let's do this.
00:10:14All right.
00:10:15Hey!
00:10:16Ho, ho!
00:10:18Patriarchy has got to go!
00:10:19Hey, hey!
00:10:20Ho, ho!
00:10:21Patriarchy has got to go!
00:10:23Hey, hey!
00:10:23Ho, ho!
00:10:25Patriarchy has got to go!
00:10:26Hey, hey!
00:10:34Hey, Anusha, wait up.
00:10:36Hey, um, do you want to come with us to the anti-oligarchy rally downtown?
00:10:40It'd be fine.
00:10:41I can't, but thank you for the invite.
00:10:43Okay.
00:10:44I got a great shot of you and your penis apron.
00:10:47I can send it to you.
00:10:48Yeah, sure.
00:10:49Uh, here's my card.
00:10:53There you go.
00:10:53Oh, a card.
00:10:55It's really the 90s.
00:10:57Great, yeah.
00:10:57Hit me up.
00:10:59Cool.
00:11:01Okay, well, have fun.
00:11:03See ya.
00:11:03Okay.
00:11:05Bye.
00:11:29Oh, hi, Nusha.
00:11:30Look who came by for a visit.
00:11:33Hello.
00:11:34Hi.
00:11:35Hi.
00:11:36Why don't you get some tea for our guests?
00:11:39A tea.
00:11:45I bet she does this.
00:11:47She's so cute.
00:11:57Mom, can you come in here, please?
00:12:00Excuse me.
00:12:02Of course.
00:12:09What?
00:12:11Tell them to leave.
00:12:12Oh, my God.
00:12:17You're killing me.
00:12:27Unfortunately, she's not feeling well.
00:12:29So sorry.
00:12:46Oh, hey there, Miss Smiley.
00:12:48That guy just texted me.
00:12:49Who?
00:12:50The guy.
00:12:51Oh, yeah.
00:12:52I saw you had a little moment with menstrual white boy.
00:12:54Did you text him back?
00:12:54No.
00:12:55Ask him out.
00:12:56I don't even know him.
00:12:59Let's talk.
00:13:00Yes.
00:13:04Alex Talbot.
00:13:05Talbot.
00:13:07Okay.
00:13:08Okay, according to his Facebook interest, he's a feminist, he's into conceptual art, supporter
00:13:13of LGBT causes, and even DJs.
00:13:15This guy is awesome.
00:13:16But not husband material.
00:13:17I'll never bring a guy like that home.
00:13:19My parents would freak out.
00:13:20Plus, look at his pictures.
00:13:21He's gay.
00:13:23You don't know that.
00:13:24Just message him.
00:13:24No.
00:13:25What is going on in here?
00:13:27No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:13:28That's what's happening.
00:13:29No.
00:13:30Oh.
00:13:31Are you texting him right now?
00:13:33What are you texting?
00:13:33I got you, girl.
00:13:37Ding.
00:13:37Looks like you got a date.
00:13:39Beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
00:13:42Back on the market.
00:13:44I'm also still on the market.
00:13:48So.
00:13:52Hmm?
00:13:54Did you say something?
00:14:07Okay.
00:14:08Tell me, tell me three things about you.
00:14:11I grew up in Orange County, but my parents are from Iran.
00:14:15You know, the super peaceful country and the least never in the news.
00:14:18I've heard of it.
00:14:19Mm-hmm.
00:14:19And, I don't know.
00:14:22Something fun.
00:14:23I don't know.
00:14:24Okay.
00:14:24Something like, who's your favorite celebrity crush?
00:14:28David Hasselhoff.
00:14:29Just like that.
00:14:29Just, mine too.
00:14:33Really?
00:14:35What about you?
00:14:36Okay.
00:14:37I never tell anyone this.
00:14:40Celine Dion?
00:14:42You're joking.
00:14:43No, she's smoking.
00:14:44Ever since I was 12 years old, I see her, I hear her, I am a rock partner.
00:14:48Okay, that's super weird, because I do a killer Celine Dion impersonation.
00:14:53Yeah?
00:14:54Yes.
00:14:54My mom was obsessed with her when I was growing up, so I would imitate her to make my mom
00:14:58like
00:14:58me.
00:14:59Okay.
00:15:01Do it.
00:15:02No way.
00:15:03That's like, second date, or like, way down the line later.
00:15:07Do it.
00:15:09No way.
00:15:09Do it.
00:15:10Mm-mm.
00:15:11Absolutely not.
00:15:12Do it, do it, do it, and I will give you all of my fries.
00:15:18Every single one.
00:15:20You are very lucky I like fries.
00:15:23Do it.
00:15:24Okay, but close your eye.
00:15:31There were nights when the wind was so cold that my body froze in bed if I just listened
00:15:43to it right outside the window.
00:15:47Oh my god, that's shockingly good.
00:15:51Your turn.
00:15:52I can't even think I'm so hard.
00:15:53Three things, come on.
00:15:54Okay, I am an artist.
00:15:58I'm from California, and my family is weird.
00:16:06That's funny because my family is actually totally normal.
00:16:08Hmm.
00:16:11Can I have a bite?
00:16:12Yeah, sure.
00:16:17Mm.
00:16:18Why didn't you just order one?
00:16:20I was trying to be ladylike.
00:16:22It's so good.
00:16:27That guy is totally tricking you out.
00:16:34Yeah, he's cute.
00:16:36Oh.
00:16:38You're gay.
00:16:39No, I'm just not totally straight.
00:16:41So you're bisexual.
00:16:43If you're into labels.
00:16:46But you're attracted to men.
00:16:49I'm attracted to you.
00:16:56You said I could have your fries.
00:16:58Absolutely.
00:16:58Every single one.
00:16:59So you can have this rabbit food.
00:17:00All for me?
00:17:01And then eat your fries.
00:17:02It's delicious.
00:17:04It's a great neighborhood.
00:17:06I like it.
00:17:07I like it.
00:17:09I like it.
00:17:10How many more blocks?
00:17:12Why do you wear heels like that?
00:17:14You're crippling your feet.
00:17:15Take them off.
00:17:16You want barefoot?
00:17:17Yeah.
00:17:18I like it.
00:17:18I get butt cancer.
00:17:20Okay.
00:17:20Piggyback.
00:17:21Really?
00:17:22Come on.
00:17:22Yeah.
00:17:23Okay.
00:17:24This is great.
00:17:29Ten more blocks.
00:17:41Is this where you work?
00:17:42And sleep.
00:17:48Okay.
00:17:49What do you think of this?
00:17:51I'm not gonna lie to you.
00:17:51I don't know anything about art.
00:17:52No, no, it's great.
00:17:53What does your gut say?
00:17:54It looks like a kindergarten class project.
00:17:56Okay.
00:17:56I really felt like it was made by an adult.
00:17:59No, you know, I really think it was made by little hands.
00:18:02I was going for post-modern irony.
00:18:04Oh, you're the kindergartner.
00:18:05I'm the kindergartner.
00:18:06What I meant to say is it looks like it was made by a genius.
00:18:10Genius.
00:18:10Who is acutely in touch with his inner child.
00:18:14That's cool.
00:18:15It's just my life's work.
00:18:16Come up here.
00:18:17No, thanks.
00:18:18No, you have to see this one from up here.
00:18:20Can you just take a picture of it and send it to me?
00:18:22It's safe.
00:18:24Come on.
00:18:26Whoa.
00:18:27This does not feel stable.
00:18:30It's as stable as my parents' marriage.
00:18:33Great.
00:18:36You see it?
00:18:37Yeah.
00:18:39Open your eyes.
00:18:42I got you.
00:18:43I got you.
00:18:44You see it?
00:18:44Okay, so the objects represent how thin and deflating traditional notions of masculinity are.
00:18:50And the sports themselves, they show us the unnecessary aggression with which man seeks to dominate everything that he does.
00:18:56And then the baseball.
00:19:01Thanks for making the first move.
00:19:04You're welcome.
00:19:25You're kind of taking advantage of me.
00:19:27I don't even know your last name.
00:19:28It's Hussaini.
00:19:29Hussaini?
00:19:30Hussaini?
00:19:31Yeah.
00:19:31Like Saddam Hussein.
00:19:33Oh, that's hot.
00:19:34You're like a dictator.
00:19:37Well, in high school he actually called me Saddam Hussein because I had a unibrow.
00:19:42That's so cruel.
00:19:44You want to know what they called me in high school?
00:19:46Andy Warhol, queer boy?
00:19:50That's actually kind of accurate.
00:19:52You know what? You are kind of like Saddam Hussein.
00:20:03What time is it?
00:20:04Uh, 10.30.
00:20:06See?
00:20:06She gives a whole new mean to CP time.
00:20:09I don't know what that is.
00:20:10Call it people time.
00:20:12I don't think I'm allowed to use that expression.
00:20:15Well!
00:20:16There she is.
00:20:19How did it go?
00:20:20Amazing.
00:20:21Incredible.
00:20:21He's the greatest person that's ever lived.
00:20:23I love him.
00:20:23So it went well.
00:20:25Yes.
00:20:27But...
00:20:28Oh, already.
00:20:29She's starting to pick him apart.
00:20:30He's just not Persian.
00:20:31He's not Persian.
00:20:33He's never going to fit into my family.
00:20:34He's this free-spirited artist who's funny and gentle and sensitive and progressive.
00:20:39And I'm from a family of fascists, so we're going to Mussolini him out of my life if they ever
00:20:43meet him.
00:20:43Well, girl, slow down.
00:20:44You didn't tell him all that, did you?
00:20:46Not exactly.
00:20:47He's also bisexual.
00:20:49Huh.
00:20:50It's not a big deal.
00:20:51No.
00:20:51I mean, Tessa's bi.
00:20:52I used to get really jealous when men would look at her, but then my therapist helped me realize that
00:20:56I'm not replaceable.
00:20:58No, you're not.
00:20:58I'm bi for David Beckham.
00:21:01What?
00:21:04I'm going to work.
00:21:05You're so confusing.
00:21:10Don't look at me.
00:21:11Gay for David Beckham.
00:21:22So, who's your favorite family member?
00:21:25I don't really have one.
00:21:27Come on, white man.
00:21:28You gotta love someone.
00:21:31Steven.
00:21:32My dad's husband.
00:21:35Oh.
00:21:37So your parents...
00:21:38Are divorced.
00:21:39Huh.
00:21:40And my dad met a great guy.
00:21:42What was that like?
00:21:44Pretty fucked up.
00:21:45Hmm.
00:21:46How about you?
00:21:47My grandma.
00:21:48Okay.
00:21:49She's my whole world.
00:21:51Aww.
00:21:52My mom's gonna want to drink a bottle of the best tequila with you until you have to put her
00:21:56to bed.
00:21:57That's amazing.
00:21:58My mom's gonna want to make you feel super inadequate in everything that you do or will ever do.
00:22:02She sounds great.
00:22:04Fair warning, my family is kinda nuts.
00:22:07My family's nuts too, but in an entirely different way.
00:22:10I mean, we had to stick together to make it through war and immigration.
00:22:15We're kinda like a tribe.
00:22:18That's cool.
00:22:19I've never felt like part of a tribe.
00:22:22It can be stifling.
00:22:26We can be a tribe.
00:22:29I will happily stifle you.
00:22:31I want to be part of your tribe and be stifled.
00:22:37What is it that you do exactly?
00:22:38I'm a housing attorney.
00:22:40I litigate for low-income tenants against big developers.
00:22:43I mostly hang out in this office or in conference rooms.
00:22:46Hey, Alex.
00:22:47Great to see you again.
00:22:48We met at the rally.
00:22:50Hi.
00:22:50Hey, I'm Doris.
00:22:51Nice to meet you.
00:22:52Pleasure.
00:22:53Sup?
00:22:54Not much, bro.
00:22:57These are my coworkers.
00:22:59Bye, guys.
00:23:00Okay, bye.
00:23:00Okay.
00:23:01Bye-bye.
00:23:01Bye.
00:23:02Bye.
00:23:03Short and sweet.
00:23:04Bye.
00:23:06Bye.
00:23:08Do you want to go literally anywhere else?
00:23:09Sure, yeah.
00:23:10Anywhere else.
00:23:14This is as exciting as it gets.
00:23:17Are you kidding?
00:23:18Your job is so cool.
00:23:21Have I ever told you that I always wanted to be an actor?
00:23:25Actor?
00:23:25Mm-hmm.
00:23:26But my parents were immigrants and I couldn't do that to them.
00:23:30You know, you actually look amazing in this light.
00:23:36Can we make out here?
00:23:39Yes, but I don't want the judge to see him.
00:23:42I laugh in the face of danger.
00:23:49Your job's so much cooler than mine.
00:23:52You think so?
00:23:53Yeah.
00:23:54Pretty dead, though.
00:23:56It's a quiet night.
00:23:57At least we can play what we want.
00:23:59So, uh, what's your signature dance move?
00:24:01Oh, I can only dance to Persian music.
00:24:04Eastern beats.
00:24:06You got it.
00:24:07Floor's yours.
00:24:09No.
00:24:09Come on.
00:24:13All right.
00:24:16First, you take your basket and you plant your seeds.
00:24:21Okay?
00:24:22And then you take your hose.
00:24:24My hose?
00:24:24And you water your seeds.
00:24:25Oh, I like that.
00:24:26You water your seeds.
00:24:27All about the heat.
00:24:28And then you fill your seed to grow.
00:24:31That's sexy.
00:24:31Fill your seed to grow.
00:24:33Okay?
00:24:33And now your trees have bloomed and you must harness the food.
00:24:37Okay?
00:24:47Okay.
00:24:48Serious question.
00:24:51Have you told your parents about me?
00:24:54Why would I ever do that?
00:24:56Because I've told my parents about you.
00:24:58You haven't.
00:24:58Yeah, I have.
00:25:01Where'd you tell them?
00:25:02I told them I met this really rad girl.
00:25:05Why haven't you told your mom about me?
00:25:07Don't you talk to her like 21 times a day?
00:25:09Are you ashamed of me?
00:25:11No.
00:25:12You're ashamed of me.
00:25:14They're just...
00:25:15Give me that.
00:25:16They're just really into our culture.
00:25:18I have to ease them into this.
00:25:21I made something for you.
00:25:23What?
00:25:24Come see.
00:25:25I'm way too high to walk right now.
00:25:26Come on.
00:25:27Take the chips.
00:25:32Wow.
00:25:34That is some romantic shit.
00:25:37That's Saddam Hussein and Andy Warhol kissing.
00:25:39I noticed.
00:25:42Hey.
00:25:45Let's move in together.
00:25:48Really?
00:25:49Yeah.
00:25:51For real?
00:25:52Yeah.
00:25:54Is that too soon?
00:25:55No.
00:25:58Let's do it.
00:26:00Yeah.
00:26:01But we can't live here.
00:26:03Why?
00:26:04Your bathroom's outside.
00:26:13Would you feel oppressed if I asked you to do the dishes?
00:26:16Yes.
00:26:17I would feel very oppressed.
00:26:24Would you feel oppressed if I asked you to take out the garbage?
00:26:28Super oppressive.
00:26:29I wouldn't be able to handle it.
00:26:32Not so.
00:26:39What if I locked you up, tied you to the bed and impregnated you?
00:26:46That wouldn't be so bad.
00:26:47I could do that.
00:26:53I love you.
00:26:54Yeah, I love you.
00:27:16Let's do it again.
00:27:17We already did it twice.
00:27:19Should I sing the song?
00:27:22Yes.
00:27:23Wig or no wig?
00:27:25Wig or no wig?
00:27:25Wig the wig.
00:27:29Whispers in the morning.
00:27:36Oh, it's my mom.
00:27:37No, no, I have to get it.
00:27:38I'm still don't care.
00:27:39I didn't answer before she freaked out.
00:27:41Are you kidding?
00:27:43Video?
00:27:44Please hide, please.
00:27:45Hide where?
00:27:46Hi, Mom.
00:27:48Hello?
00:27:48Hi.
00:27:49Can you see me?
00:27:50Yep, I see you, Mom.
00:27:52Good.
00:27:53Now, do you remember Faribor?
00:27:55Uh-huh.
00:27:56Do you remember her son?
00:27:57Yeah, sure.
00:27:58She has invited you to dinner.
00:28:00What's that?
00:28:01Is that a naked man?
00:28:03Babe!
00:28:04Oh, my God.
00:28:06Did she see me?
00:28:07Is he naked?
00:28:07What's the naked man doing in your room?
00:28:11At least now she knows.
00:28:12New shot.
00:28:14New shot.
00:28:16I'm so excited to finally meet your family.
00:28:21Just don't say anything.
00:28:24You know?
00:28:25Like, if they ask you something, eat.
00:28:28I have to reply.
00:28:29No, you know.
00:28:30Just put something in your mouth and chew.
00:28:33You got this.
00:28:34We got this.
00:28:50This is amazing.
00:28:51Thank you so much for having me over.
00:28:53Of course.
00:28:55You're so welcome.
00:28:58So far, so good.
00:29:02New shot is your musical engineer.
00:29:05Did she?
00:29:08Yeah, kind of.
00:29:13Actually, I'm an engineer, too.
00:29:16Really?
00:29:17Civil engineer.
00:29:19Cool.
00:29:20Did you go to Harvard?
00:29:22Mother, not everyone goes to Harvard.
00:29:25Oxford.
00:29:26No, wait.
00:29:27LSE.
00:29:28The London School of Economics.
00:29:30Nope.
00:29:30None of the above.
00:29:32Princeton.
00:29:42You know, I'm sorry.
00:29:44I didn't go to Harvard.
00:29:45And I'm not an engineer.
00:29:49I went to Goddard College in Vermont.
00:29:53No?
00:29:55Okay.
00:29:56I'm an artist and I'm a DJ.
00:29:59And I love your daughter very much.
00:30:03In fact, the best part of my day is waking up together.
00:30:10Excuse me?
00:30:12Um, what do you mean waking up together?
00:30:19You mean you're living together?
00:30:27Mm-hmm.
00:30:30Mm-hmm.
00:30:31Mm-hmm.
00:30:31So good.
00:30:34I need some fresh air.
00:30:48Can I talk to you for a second?
00:30:50How could you not tell them anything about me?
00:30:52I don't know. It never came out.
00:30:53That's insane. How could you put me in that position?
00:30:56I wanted to hold off putting you through this for as long as possible.
00:30:59What do you mean?
00:30:59Let me break it down for you, okay?
00:31:00First, my dad is going to get angry and brokenhearted,
00:31:04and then my mom is going to try to pressure us to get married.
00:31:06And when we say no, she's going to freak out
00:31:08because I'm her only chance to throw a lavish Persian wedding
00:31:11in front of all of her family and friends.
00:31:13Oh, Christ.
00:31:13Look, just stay strong, okay? Don't give in.
00:31:18Drink your tea.
00:31:19Drink my tea.
00:31:20Drink your tea.
00:31:20Okay, my tea.
00:31:21Drink your tea.
00:31:23So, you're living together?
00:31:26Then you need to get married.
00:31:27We want to try just living together first.
00:31:30If you want to live together, you have to first get married.
00:31:33She's so right.
00:31:35We need more time.
00:31:36We're still getting to know each other.
00:31:46If you really get to know each other, you'll never get married.
00:31:50Never.
00:31:50I knew your father for one day only.
00:31:53You get to know each other after the wedding.
00:31:56Wedding?
00:31:57Yes.
00:31:59Wedding.
00:32:00That's how people marry.
00:32:02They have weddings.
00:32:03We don't want to get married.
00:32:06And even if we did, we don't want a wedding.
00:32:09Why not?
00:32:10No wedding.
00:32:11No marriage.
00:32:13No living together.
00:32:14It's a package, you see?
00:32:15What about if we registered as domestic partners?
00:32:19What is a domestic partner?
00:32:20It's an alternative.
00:32:21For those who want the protection and benefits of a partnership,
00:32:25but don't want to enter into the institution of marriage.
00:32:28Marriage is not an institution.
00:32:30Marriage is marriage.
00:32:32People marry to have baby.
00:32:34Babies.
00:32:34Babies.
00:32:35That is so...
00:32:36Oppressive.
00:32:37What do you want to do with your family?
00:32:39I don't want to go back at the dentist's name.
00:32:46Omini, you're not going to die.
00:32:48Oh, yes, I will.
00:32:49She might.
00:32:50Actually, Ziba-June, it's time for my shot.
00:32:53Oh, of course.
00:32:55I'm so sorry, Omini.
00:32:57I'm coming.
00:33:00Reza.
00:33:03Alex.
00:33:03Oh, yeah.
00:33:11It's done.
00:33:13No, Sussu.
00:33:15I promise you,
00:33:16we're going to keep it simple.
00:33:18Something small in the backyard.
00:33:19We can do it next month,
00:33:21when your uncle visits from Iran.
00:33:23Next month?
00:33:24Yes.
00:33:24If they ever let him in this country,
00:33:26he can only stay for 10 days.
00:33:28Don't you want to do it for Momini?
00:33:30She's been so sad since Babahi died.
00:33:32Mommy, Babahi died 25 years ago.
00:33:38Alex.
00:33:39Sir.
00:33:40Don't you want to marry my daughter?
00:33:47Of course.
00:33:48Done.
00:33:49I'm calling everyone.
00:33:51Oh, my God.
00:33:53Congratulations.
00:33:54Welcome to the family, Alex.
00:33:56He's in the family.
00:33:58Sweetheart.
00:33:59Congratulations.
00:34:01Oh, congratulations.
00:34:03All right.
00:34:04Good morning.
00:34:14What just happened?
00:34:18I don't know.
00:34:22You're supposed to just drink your tea.
00:34:26It was so convincing.
00:34:33Do I propose, or do you?
00:35:01It's so great that you're all here,
00:35:03and we're all together.
00:35:04It's really awesome.
00:35:05We've heard so much about you guys.
00:35:08I'm so happy to finally meet all of you.
00:35:11No, we're the happy ones.
00:35:12Your daughter is absolutely lovely.
00:35:14I agree.
00:35:16Cheers.
00:35:18Cheers.
00:35:20What is that?
00:35:21That's lovely.
00:35:26That's a poem by the 14th century Persian poet, Hafiz.
00:35:31Greatest poet of all time.
00:35:34It says,
00:35:40Long live love, for I have not heard a more merrier word than love.
00:35:49I had a friend from Riyadh once, and it is such a pity how complicated it is over there now.
00:35:54Oh, with all due respect, actually, we are not from Riyadh.
00:35:58We are from Tehran.
00:36:00Oh, right.
00:36:01And just so you know, no region with oil will have peace.
00:36:07Yeah.
00:36:07And our stellar foreign policy doesn't help either.
00:36:12Oh, well, you're such a political expert, Stephen,
00:36:15that the next time you go to the Middle East,
00:36:17and you may not come back because we know what they do to people like you over there.
00:36:23Well, I wouldn't care so much.
00:36:25Go, Team Talbot.
00:36:26Mamani, can you pass the baklava?
00:36:28Thank you so much.
00:36:30How old was Alex when you divorced?
00:36:33Um, when we split, Alex was 16.
00:36:37Oh.
00:36:40And when did you get remarried to...
00:36:43Stephen.
00:36:44I'm Stephen.
00:36:45Uh, not long after.
00:36:47Right.
00:36:48How soon after?
00:36:51I mean, did you meet Stephen and realize you were gay,
00:36:55then get separated and get together with him and marry him?
00:36:58Or were you feeling unfulfilled with Maggie and get separated and get to meet him,
00:37:03and then you realize you were gay?
00:37:06Wow.
00:37:06I mean, it doesn't help.
00:37:08I'm just trying to understand how it all happens in general.
00:37:12There was overlap.
00:37:15But you knew.
00:37:16I mean, as a woman, you must have known.
00:37:19And also, were you friends with Stephen when your husband met him,
00:37:25or, uh, you became friends afterwards?
00:37:29Oh.
00:37:33I was never his friend.
00:37:37Excuse me.
00:37:47I'll go.
00:37:53Maggie?
00:37:54I'm sorry.
00:37:56My mom can be a little pushy.
00:37:59They're just not used to all this.
00:38:01It's not your mom.
00:38:03It's everything.
00:38:04It's my life.
00:38:05I never imagined I'd be single in my son's wedding.
00:38:09Well, you're doing great.
00:38:12I'm coming in.
00:38:25I'm coming in.
00:38:29You're loving you with us now.
00:38:33I wasted my youth on a homosexual.
00:38:37Yeah, but that was the past.
00:38:39You still have your whole future ahead of you.
00:38:42Well, I'll never find true love.
00:38:46You know what Hoffa says.
00:38:49Love finds you when you least expect it.
00:38:56How's it going out there?
00:38:59Well, uh, Ziba is giving Stephen the chandelier tour of the house,
00:39:03and our fathers are debating whether or not sodomy is a sin.
00:39:07Oh, God.
00:39:08Well, little do they know, we are already in hell.
00:39:17Anna!
00:39:18Check.
00:39:19Deuteron.
00:39:19Check.
00:39:21Toothbrush.
00:39:21Check.
00:39:22What do you think?
00:39:23Oh, I think that looks like ice cream.
00:39:25It's really bad, isn't it?
00:39:26Yeah.
00:39:27When did she get that for you?
00:39:28When I was 12.
00:39:29Oh, baby.
00:39:30Please hold me.
00:39:30Oh, thank you.
00:39:33All right, we gotta go.
00:39:33We gotta go.
00:39:38Okay, so Uncle Salmon is going to take my room.
00:39:41I am going to be on the couch.
00:39:43You are going to be in the guest room.
00:39:47You need to hire help.
00:39:49I don't need any help.
00:39:51Why would I pay someone when I could do it myself?
00:39:53I'm an engineer.
00:39:55Dad?
00:39:56Oh, hi.
00:39:57Hi.
00:39:59What you doing?
00:40:00Uh, I'm building a Persepolis fountain.
00:40:04It is going to look exactly like the Persian ancient ruins.
00:40:09580 B.C.
00:40:11Cyrus the Great.
00:40:13Oh, boy.
00:40:15Your mother has invited half of Orange County.
00:40:18I have a reputation.
00:40:20Alex, could you kindly give me that?
00:40:22Please.
00:40:23Yeah, sure.
00:40:26Why, she's so nervous.
00:40:28It's going to look good.
00:40:29I promise you.
00:40:30Just imagine Persepolis, right?
00:40:32Okay, we have four columns.
00:40:34Two big ones, two shorter ones.
00:40:36One big one over here, one soldier's guarding it.
00:40:39Another big one over here, another soldier's guarding it.
00:40:43And two shorter columns here and there.
00:40:46And also, we have two fountains.
00:40:49One 7-inch, one 5-inch.
00:40:51Each, each with their own engines.
00:40:55And then, we light it up.
00:40:57That's cool.
00:40:58It's going to look spectacular.
00:41:00Thank you, Dad.
00:41:01Now go see your uncle.
00:41:02I'm busy.
00:41:04Good luck.
00:41:07Oh, okay.
00:41:07Good luck.
00:41:30This is my fiancée, Alex.
00:41:32Thanks.
00:41:33Hey, Salam Amo.
00:41:34Khayli khashhalam ke shome inja hastin.
00:41:37Oh, wow.
00:41:38It's nice to meet you, too.
00:41:41Musalmune?
00:41:42Nah.
00:41:44Bari khatne shudeh.
00:41:45Who is that?
00:41:46He said he's really happy to meet you.
00:41:49Oh, yeah.
00:41:51Yeah.
00:41:54He's actually a, he's an artist.
00:41:57Artist.
00:41:57Yeah, he makes art out of balloons.
00:41:59Oh.
00:42:00Yeah.
00:42:02I didn't follow that.
00:42:03He's really excited to meet your family, he said.
00:42:06Yeah.
00:42:07So exciting.
00:42:07Very excited.
00:42:08So excited.
00:42:09Very excited.
00:42:10So excited.
00:42:11So excited.
00:42:12Really exciting.
00:42:13Excitement.
00:42:15Oh, look.
00:42:16Vougainvilleas and pulmonarias.
00:42:18Oh, for God's sake.
00:42:19I was supposed to plant those with my mom.
00:42:21Would you please just butch it up a little bit?
00:42:24These are Muslims for you.
00:42:26Oh, God.
00:42:27Here comes the wrecking ball.
00:42:28Oh, come on.
00:42:29Where are you going?
00:42:30I have to help her.
00:42:31Oh, the drama queen makes an entrance.
00:42:33Oh, are you going to be like this the whole weekend?
00:42:35Why do you have to be such a problem person all the time?
00:42:37Oh, you know what?
00:42:37Since you know so much about fruit,
00:42:39why don't you help me pick them up?
00:42:40Oh, zing, zing, zing, zing.
00:42:42Oh!
00:42:43We're in the back.
00:42:44All right.
00:42:45We're not going to help.
00:42:46We're not going to help.
00:42:54Sweetheart.
00:42:55You come here.
00:42:56Listen right here.
00:42:58Good.
00:42:58Okay.
00:42:59Maggie.
00:43:00Yes?
00:43:00Zeal.
00:43:01Come, come, please.
00:43:03To the left.
00:43:04Bill, to the right.
00:43:06Let me see.
00:43:08Perfect.
00:43:09The groom will walk first, presented by the mother and the father.
00:43:13Actually, um, no.
00:43:15Come here.
00:43:17Really want to walk down the aisle with Stephen.
00:43:20But Stephen is not the mother.
00:43:22No, but he is my husband.
00:43:24It's going to be complicated.
00:43:26Then who will she walk with?
00:43:28Does she even have to walk?
00:43:29Well, if it were up to you, I'd be crawling.
00:43:31What a good idea.
00:43:32You're not the mother.
00:43:33Please, please, guys, guys, how about the three of you walk together?
00:43:37Then four of them together, walking down the aisle.
00:43:40It's going to look ridiculous.
00:43:42That's exactly what I want this to be.
00:43:45There is no way my mother is going to hurt Stephen.
00:43:48You have to talk to your father.
00:43:49Why are you taking her side?
00:43:50Stephen might not even care.
00:43:52My dad cares.
00:43:52You heard him.
00:43:54It is 30 yards.
00:43:56Make it happen.
00:44:00Make it happen.
00:44:04Why doesn't she walk with Saman?
00:44:07My brother.
00:44:08Huh?
00:44:09Saman!
00:44:11Saman!
00:44:12Cheers.
00:44:14Talbets, this is my little brother from Iran.
00:44:17Oh, hey.
00:44:18I'm Bill.
00:44:19I'm Alex's dad.
00:44:20Oh, hi.
00:44:20I am Saman.
00:44:21Oh, can I call you Sam?
00:44:24Saman.
00:44:25Saman.
00:44:25Saman.
00:44:25Stephen, I'm his husband.
00:44:27Nice to meet you.
00:44:27Nice to meet you.
00:44:29A visitor from the Orient.
00:44:31I'm Maggie Baker.
00:44:32Hello, Maggie Baker.
00:44:34I am Saman.
00:44:35Perfect.
00:44:36So, the two of you would walk together.
00:44:38First, and then Steve, Alex, and then me, Andresa, and my daughter.
00:44:45Are you okay with that?
00:44:46Absolutely.
00:44:47Compromise.
00:44:47Shall we, Maggie Baker?
00:44:48Yes, thank you, Saman.
00:44:51So, what does Saman mean?
00:44:52Saman means one who climbs the mountain for the light.
00:44:56I love that.
00:44:57Yes.
00:44:58This is the traditional part of the wedding.
00:45:01Youšha, John.
00:45:03Pader bizerght.
00:45:04Khuda rachmatish kene.
00:45:06Khastgi ba Qur'an shuru kene.
00:45:14In the name of Allah, the Lord, the Lord, the Lord.
00:45:20How beautiful.
00:45:29Cool. Am I a Muslim now?
00:45:32No.
00:45:33Soda.
00:45:34Can I have a Muslim name?
00:45:35Sure. What would you like your Muslim name to be?
00:45:38Uh, Muhammad?
00:45:43Okay. Sure.
00:45:45Muhammad.
00:45:47Well, that was interesting.
00:45:48Are you serious?
00:45:54I'm getting a Koran.
00:46:00Hey, Suwan.
00:46:02Oh, hey, Maggie Baker.
00:46:05I hope I didn't scare you.
00:46:07Oh, no, no, I don't get scared.
00:46:09I've killed men with my bare hands.
00:46:13Well, I just came out to have another drink before I hit the road.
00:46:17You don't drink, do you?
00:46:19Sure I do.
00:46:20You do?
00:46:21Special occasions.
00:46:22Well, I'd say this is pretty special.
00:46:25Oh, yeah.
00:46:26Oh.
00:46:30Ooh.
00:46:31Tequila girl.
00:46:35So, uh, why have you not remarried?
00:46:40I just didn't want to make another mistake.
00:46:42And you?
00:46:43Divorced?
00:46:44Oh, no, no.
00:46:44I've never been married.
00:46:47See, I have no gaydar.
00:46:49I just...
00:46:49Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:46:52I just never found the right woman.
00:46:55You're very funny.
00:46:56Oh.
00:46:57Uh, well, that's so sad.
00:47:03Yeah.
00:47:04I have no one to go back to.
00:47:08Well, then, maybe you should stay here.
00:47:12Oh.
00:47:16Maybe I should.
00:47:24Sorry.
00:47:31Sorry about that.
00:47:32Don't be sorry.
00:47:33Yeah.
00:47:35Oh, thank you.
00:47:37Oh, my gosh.
00:47:40Don't you kiss twice in your country like this?
00:47:42Oh, yes, yes.
00:47:43You're right.
00:47:44And...
00:47:44Right, exactly.
00:47:46Wow.
00:47:46Oh, that was very unexpected.
00:47:48Like, in America, we just don't even bother.
00:47:51We just go straight to the main kiss.
00:47:54Well, okay, then.
00:47:56Oh, wow.
00:47:57Wow.
00:47:58Maggie Baker.
00:47:59There.
00:48:00Hey!
00:48:02Can I have another?
00:48:04Oh, sure.
00:48:04Let's go.
00:48:56I think we both should relax a little bit.
00:48:59No.
00:48:59Our entire family, all of our friends.
00:49:02How am I supposed to relax?
00:49:04Half of Orange County is coming.
00:49:06Don't stress so much.
00:49:07She's going to be all right.
00:49:08I'm here.
00:49:09As if it wasn't bad enough that she's marrying a poor artist.
00:49:12Ziba.
00:49:13How is he going to take care of her?
00:49:16He has no job.
00:49:17How is he going to provide?
00:49:20And that family?
00:49:22Oh my God.
00:49:23Too late. They were already living together.
00:49:25At least she's finally getting married.
00:49:28Let's go to bed.
00:49:29What about the fountain?
00:49:31Did you fix it?
00:49:31It's done. Almost done.
00:49:33I'm an engineer.
00:49:35Let's have a second honeymoon.
00:49:37First take it sound.
00:49:38Okay.
00:49:40It'd be even better than our first honeymoon.
00:49:42Perry is 1975.
00:49:43I'm not going to be fine.
00:49:45I'm not going to be fine.
00:49:45I'm not going to be fine.
00:49:49I'm not going to be fine.
00:49:50I'm not going to be fine.
00:49:54I'm not going to be fine.
00:49:58I'm not going to be fine.
00:49:59I'm not going to be fine.
00:50:01I'm not going to be fine.
00:50:02I'm not going to be fine.
00:50:03I'm not going to be fine.
00:50:03I'm not going to be fine.
00:50:04I'm not going to be fine.
00:50:05I'm not going to be fine.
00:50:05I'm not going to be fine.
00:50:06I'm not going to be fine.
00:50:07I'm not going to be fine.
00:50:10I'm not going to be fine.
00:50:22are you gonna leave me one day what do you think our families are too different
00:50:27no is this all just an experiment to you okay I'm doing all of this because I love
00:50:38you I just don't know if you're taking it seriously I mean Muhammad that's rad I don't
00:50:46think you understand how serious marriage is in my culture it is forever there is not one single
00:50:51divorce in my family okay I thought that I was gonna become part of the tribe and we'd be
00:50:55stifled and oppressed together is that not what's happening we've only known each other for five
00:51:01months six actually we haven't even done the 36 questions oh my god we don't know each other
00:51:09like more than once what's my most treasure childhood memory spring break senior year wrong
00:51:13it's when I want the spelling bee in third grade I didn't know that oh my god we don't know
00:51:17each
00:51:17other how are you gonna provide for our children what okay wait where is this coming from is this
00:51:25you or is this Siba I promised your uncle I'd help fix these walkie-talkies before the wedding and
00:51:33they're still totally broken hey we're gonna be fine okay just 30 yards right I love you I'll see you
00:51:49more can you hear me yeah see more
00:52:19yeah
00:52:19yeah
00:52:41Nusha, hold your breath.
00:52:42Stop breathing.
00:52:44Ouch.
00:52:47Stop moving.
00:52:50Hi.
00:52:51Hi.
00:52:51Thank you so much.
00:52:52I'm so happy to see you.
00:52:53Miss Iran, 1975.
00:52:54Hello.
00:52:55You look glamorous as always.
00:52:57Oh, stop it.
00:52:58God.
00:52:58You know, it's still not too late for me to find you two husbands.
00:53:02That would be great.
00:53:02Wow.
00:53:03That would be fantastic.
00:53:40I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.
00:53:45No, no really there's all these people all this fuss. I look like it's my quinceanera. I don't know
00:53:51I don't know if I can do this honey. It's gonna be fine
00:54:04I think you don't want to talk about those things you did, but you're likely you're running in James
00:54:10Thank you biggie make me blush
00:54:15Let's start wedding now. Let's start wedding now. Someone take over. Let's start wedding now
00:54:20She should she should what?
00:54:23Cue the wedding song, huh? What? Cue the wedding song. Oh, yes music music
00:54:46I think that they'd have high-tech in the C.I.A.
00:54:48Oh, I can't dad. I need to talk to Alex. Alex is over there. It's time to go, I'm sure
00:54:59I'd wait. Just cold feet, honey. Everyone gets it even me
00:55:04I love her. She loved me. Will she make me happy or will she torture me every day? Will I
00:55:11make her happy?
00:55:12Or will I fall into great misery? Will I be able to satisfy her list of demands?
00:55:18Stop!
00:55:22I have to stop and think. I have to stop and think. You cannot just stop Nusha
00:55:24Dad, I'm not ready. I don't know if I can do this, okay?
00:55:30The wedding machine cannot be stopped. Is everything okay? Are you, Nusha, Arjun, are you okay?
00:55:34I can't marry him
00:55:37She's okay. She's okay. Let's take her inside. No, no, no. The wedding machine cannot be stopped. The wedding must
00:55:42go on.
00:55:43If I go inside, want tea? She relax. What do you mean tea? The groom is waiting. I spent a
00:55:47lot of money. I bailed after supper.
00:55:50There's a letter?
00:55:51Dad!
00:55:51Don't put it. Hands up like his mother!
00:55:58Alex.
00:56:13Dalmas!
00:56:24Paperkor0
00:56:25Evelyn cheer
00:56:27puzzles,
00:56:28units. monsters Crap
00:56:43I don't know.
00:56:48I don't know.
00:57:16Come on, open up.
00:57:20I can literally see you moving.
00:57:28We brought Lulu.
00:57:29Look, look.
00:57:30She's here too.
00:57:31She wants to see you.
00:57:31Yeah.
00:57:32Okay.
00:57:33It's a key under the pot.
00:57:34Copy.
00:57:37Yeah.
00:57:37Look at this.
00:57:38Okay.
00:57:41Hey!
00:57:41Hey!
00:57:42Hey!
00:57:43No, no, no.
00:57:44No, no, no.
00:57:44We are here to help you.
00:57:46I'm fine.
00:57:47You're not fine.
00:57:48I don't want to talk.
00:57:49No, you're not fine.
00:57:49We're taking you to our healer.
00:57:50Immediately.
00:57:51Sure.
00:57:51Why?
00:57:52I'm fine.
00:57:52You look like afterbirth.
00:57:53You smell like caca pants.
00:57:55Very, very, very bad what we're looking at and smelling right now.
00:57:58I got it.
00:57:58What is this?
00:57:59Oh, my God.
00:58:00Is that cheese?
00:58:01Really?
00:58:01It's the smell of diapers.
00:58:02You smell like the inside of a person.
00:58:08Okay, fine.
00:58:08I get it.
00:58:09Okay.
00:58:09I get it.
00:58:10Go ahead.
00:58:11I can't believe I haven't heard from him.
00:58:13He blocked me on Facebook.
00:58:17No, he deleted his account.
00:58:19What?
00:58:21He would never.
00:58:22He's such a social media whore.
00:58:24What about Instagram?
00:58:26Mm-mm.
00:58:27What about Twitter?
00:58:29I...
00:58:30What about Google Plus?
00:58:31Really?
00:58:32God.
00:58:33I can't believe you broke up with me.
00:58:35Well, you did leave him at the altar and turn into a phoenix.
00:58:41I don't blame him.
00:58:44Okay.
00:58:45Yeah, okay.
00:58:45Come on.
00:58:46Let's get dressed.
00:58:47Let's get dressed.
00:58:48You don't know yet who you are or what you want.
00:58:55I don't really want a cheeseburger right now.
00:58:58I know that.
00:59:00The emotional freedom technique sends calm signals to your brain.
00:59:05So follow me.
00:59:07Even though I am heartbroken, I fully love and accept myself.
00:59:13So now you try it.
00:59:18Even though I'm heartbroken, I fully love and accept myself.
00:59:28Even though I hurt the only man I've ever loved, I fully love and accept myself.
00:59:36Even though I want to crawl into a hole and die.
00:59:50I love and accept like...
00:59:52Fully love and accept myself.
00:59:54Fully love and accept myself.
01:00:01Very good.
01:00:03I feel better.
01:00:05Wonderful.
01:00:07Cash or check?
01:00:08Cash only, please.
01:00:10Okay.
01:00:18Hello?
01:00:19Why aren't you calling me back?
01:00:20I was just about to call the police.
01:00:22I was going to, Mom.
01:00:24I was just busy.
01:00:25You're not getting any younger.
01:00:26You need to start dating again.
01:00:27It's only been a few weeks, Mom.
01:00:29Annie, Faribos' son heard about the fireworks at the altar.
01:00:33He wants to take you out.
01:00:35Lucia, he just finished dental school.
01:00:41Lucia?
01:00:42Okay, Mom.
01:00:43Yes.
01:00:43Set it up.
01:00:53And from what I hear, you're a little unconventional.
01:00:58That's an understatement.
01:00:59Yeah, I mean, I heard you set off a bomb at your wedding.
01:01:05Ah, I'm sorry.
01:01:06I should be more sensitive.
01:01:11So what was he like?
01:01:12I don't want to talk about it.
01:01:15Sure.
01:01:17Nosey, I know.
01:01:18Excuse me.
01:01:19Can I have some more alcohol, please?
01:01:22They're good, huh?
01:01:23It was, I looked the Yelp up.
01:01:24It was like top three martinis in L.A.
01:01:27I mean, the other two were too far, but...
01:01:28Nice that you did your research.
01:01:30Of course.
01:01:31Thank you, Tony.
01:01:32Do you make Persian food?
01:01:39Um...
01:01:40I'm going to take that as a no.
01:01:42But cheers.
01:01:44Cheers.
01:01:44Cheers.
01:01:47So, you're a dentist?
01:01:49Mm-hmm.
01:01:53Okay.
01:01:57Great.
01:01:58Great.
01:02:02You're a really nice guy.
01:02:03Yeah.
01:02:04Thanks.
01:02:05So are you.
01:02:07But I'm not...
01:02:09I'm never going to be a good Persian wife, or a good wife, or a good person.
01:02:14I think you're great.
01:02:18You do.
01:02:26Oh.
01:02:33And zip me.
01:02:34Uh, this isn't too fast for you?
01:02:36No, no.
01:02:37Just...
01:02:38Go for it.
01:02:39Okay.
01:02:39All right?
01:02:41Just...
01:02:41You got it.
01:02:42You got it.
01:02:42Yep.
01:02:43Going there.
01:02:43All right.
01:02:44Okay.
01:02:44There she is.
01:02:46Yeah.
01:02:46Yeah.
01:02:48Wow!
01:02:52You know, I actually...
01:02:54I took this photo...
01:02:55of her.
01:02:57Yeah.
01:02:57My dream has always been to marry someone...
01:03:00as wonderful as my mom.
01:03:02No.
01:03:03And you...
01:03:03You remind me of her.
01:03:06Do you mind zipping me back up?
01:03:09Uh...
01:03:10Okay.
01:03:12Thank you so much.
01:03:14You know, I actually, um...
01:03:16have to go.
01:03:18No!
01:03:18Yeah, I have court...
01:03:21in the...
01:03:22tomorrow.
01:03:23Bye.
01:03:24Bye.
01:03:30You were right about her.
01:03:31Bye.
01:04:06I don't know.
01:04:07I really wish you guys were here.
01:04:08Yeah, we do too, but Lulu's not being like well.
01:04:11Sorry.
01:04:13I'm just gonna drop off the toothbrush and then leave.
01:04:16Okay.
01:04:17We just want you to know that we don't think this is my idea.
01:04:20I know, but please just stay on the phone.
01:04:22We support you.
01:04:23We support you.
01:04:25All right.
01:04:25Say bye, honey.
01:04:26Okay.
01:04:26Bye.
01:04:27Bye.
01:04:27We love you.
01:04:28Love you. Love you.
01:04:29No, wait!
01:04:31You sound like you could use some good stuff.
01:04:34Do you have, like, caffeine pills?
01:04:36I'm really tired.
01:04:37I promise you'll feel great.
01:04:40If everything goes south, will I remember tomorrow?
01:04:42No.
01:04:44I'll take two, please.
01:05:14Excuse me.
01:05:15Can you lift me up?
01:05:17I really, I need to see the DJ.
01:05:23Damn!
01:05:23We have you need to look.
01:05:35Take over.
01:05:36Neverman.
01:05:46Hi.
01:05:48Hi.
01:05:49Um, I, I brought, I brought your tea crush.
01:05:53Christ, what are you doing here?
01:05:54What was I supposed to do?
01:05:55You don't call or text and you block me on Facebook,
01:05:57so how else was I supposed to do?
01:05:58I was bringing your toothbrush.
01:05:59You dumped me at the altar in front of everybody.
01:06:01You broke my fucking heart.
01:06:03I fucked up.
01:06:04I was scared.
01:06:05I was insecure.
01:06:06There was too much pressure on me.
01:06:08I know I didn't mean what I said.
01:06:11I'm ready now.
01:06:13I'm ready.
01:06:14It's too late for me.
01:06:17I love you.
01:06:18No, you don't.
01:06:19No.
01:06:20I'm ready.
01:06:21No, I'm ready.
01:06:26Woo.
01:06:27Oh, hey, what's it girl?
01:06:30Oh.
01:06:31Hey.
01:06:32Oh.
01:06:33Oh.
01:06:35Mom.
01:06:35Hey.
01:06:40How long has this been going on?
01:06:42Well, since your wedding.
01:06:44Or your breakup.
01:06:46We were going to tell you, but...
01:06:49I-I guess we could tell them now.
01:06:51Tell us what?
01:06:54Sam and I are getting married.
01:06:57Who's Sam?
01:06:59Saman!
01:07:01That's Sam?
01:07:02And I'm converting.
01:07:05Can you rip my arm?
01:07:08Mom, why are you here?
01:07:09Oh, honey, no, we go dancing all the time.
01:07:13We have been following you as DJ Mohamed.
01:07:16I got married so early and Sam was sent off to war
01:07:19and we just never had a chance to be young.
01:07:23Alex, it's never too late.
01:07:25No, as Hafez says,
01:07:27you must always stay close to anything that makes you feel glad to be alive.
01:07:33Or something like that, I think I do.
01:07:35You got it, you.
01:07:37Okay, no, stop. Please stop. Stop.
01:07:40Am I tripping?
01:07:43I think so.
01:07:59Even your uncle Saman is getting married before you.
01:08:03God, I'm so happy for you.
01:08:05What happened to Ali?
01:08:07I'm not doing another one of your arrangements.
01:08:09You're not doing this to me again yourself?
01:08:11How dare you drop a doctor?
01:08:13He wasn't a doctor.
01:08:15He was a dentist.
01:08:18Whatever.
01:08:19I just want you to be happy.
01:08:21Well, you're making me miserable, so...
01:08:25You're so happy that you all have been capable of doing anything.
01:08:34You're making me possible.
01:08:34No, don't understand.
01:08:35Your mother loves you, she just doesn't know anything better.
01:08:42My mother, when she was 13 years old, she would be happy.
01:08:47She would be 40 years old.
01:08:51Child bride. She had no choice.
01:08:57You're free. If you want your heart, you can do it.
01:09:01If you want your heart, you don't want your heart.
01:09:05You want your heart to do it.
01:09:13Yes, baby.
01:09:16Come on.
01:09:20Oh, and if you're a lesbian, that's okay too.
01:09:29I fell into the noise of my town.
01:09:34And I find myself slipping away.
01:09:39Now I'm missing myself because I'm missing you.
01:09:41Hey.
01:09:44Keep your eyes on the board, okay?
01:09:47Now I know why I was always so afraid to do this.
01:09:49Look, don't overthink it, Noosh. Just trust.
01:09:52Trust.
01:09:54Trust.
01:09:55Trust.
01:09:56Trust!
01:10:00You have to learn how to be alone. The quietness in your heart won't give you the answers.
01:10:11Is this one of the ones you put in your vagina?
01:10:14I never know where it's taken me.
01:10:16I have a heart, heart unknown.
01:10:22Underneath, underneath, yeah.
01:10:28Still beating.
01:10:30Underneath, underneath, still beating.
01:10:35How did you say five to those eyes?
01:10:38Well, it was a mutual agreement.
01:10:40Well, for me, I want to do it again.
01:10:42I want to go together.
01:10:43Sorry.
01:10:45The mistakes that I made from my enemies.
01:10:47The mistakes that I made from my enemies.
01:10:47Made in China.
01:10:50Did we have a cheeseburger together?
01:10:54Just kidding.
01:10:55I'm vegan now.
01:10:58Namaste.
01:11:00Thank you, friend.
01:11:20man, they turned around.
01:11:30What are all—
01:11:32JUSTIN Pcoat
01:11:34Can you see the segue?
01:11:45I'll continue to see it.
01:11:48Oh no, oh no, underneath, underneath, yeah
01:11:55Still be eating, underneath, underneath, still be eating
01:12:09No, no, no, no
01:12:12Why?
01:12:14Why?
01:12:14What?
01:12:14This one will be able to see you, you can see yourself.
01:12:18Yes it is.
01:12:20Jolly, Jolly, yes, I got the, yes I got the, yes I got the.
01:12:23Nice.
01:12:24Look at this.
01:12:25Such a great job.
01:12:26Oh, thank you so much.
01:12:28You're okay.
01:12:32I know you're making this.
01:12:37I thought you might need this.
01:12:47Bill's out there trying to teach Ziba how to use a Blackberry.
01:12:52He's not. Oh, my gosh.
01:12:55You know, I've never really given you enough credit.
01:13:00He's not easy.
01:13:04Girl. Oh.
01:13:06We have a lot to talk about.
01:13:08Oh, we do.
01:13:12You look.
01:13:14Divine.
01:13:22You ready, Mom?
01:13:23Oh, more than ready.
01:13:25I love that man.
01:13:28And besides, the sexual chemistry is off the charts.
01:13:32Like, I literally didn't even know that I could bend like this.
01:13:35Okay, Mom, stop.
01:13:40Oh.
01:13:48Alex.
01:13:52I want you to be happy.
01:13:56I am happy.
01:13:59I think Hafiz said that love forgives and heals.
01:14:09You look beautiful.
01:14:14See you out there.
01:14:15Okay.
01:14:24Okay.
01:14:27Okay.
01:14:29Like James Bond.
01:14:40Tell me what's wrong.
01:14:42I'm honestly so happy for you.
01:14:45It's OK.
01:14:46You are not happy.
01:14:50No, I'm not.
01:14:53I really miss him.
01:14:55I don't think he's ever going to forgive me.
01:15:02You know what's wrong with your generation?
01:15:06You're too skeptical.
01:15:08Always doubting everything.
01:15:11So afraid of marriage.
01:15:15It's this internet.
01:15:18Nushu Jun, you don't know how to have faith.
01:15:23You have to believe in things.
01:15:26That's how life moves forward.
01:15:28That's a god lecture.
01:15:321986, the Iran-Iraq war.
01:15:35We are in the depths of hell.
01:15:37The government was broke, so we had limited arms and no supplies.
01:15:42But my men, they marched on.
01:15:45We took Najaf with just one tank and a handful of grenades.
01:15:52But then we heard the airstrikes.
01:15:54But then we heard the airstrikes.
01:15:56Chemical weapons.
01:15:58It was Sada.
01:16:01He blasted my men.
01:16:04Most of them died like that.
01:16:09But I just lost a few ligaments.
01:16:13How did I never know about that?
01:16:16I also have a scar on my backside right there.
01:16:19No, I love you.
01:16:20I'm good.
01:16:21I'm good.
01:16:26The point is, Nushu Jun, that even in my darkest hour, I still had faith.
01:16:34I knew that one day there would be a light.
01:16:38And that light is Maggie.
01:16:46If you're constantly living in fear, you won't let the light in.
01:16:53As I'm love, it's simple.
01:16:58And you should never give up.
01:17:06I'm going to need your help with something.
01:17:09Be an angel.
01:17:12Thanks, Samu.
01:17:13Of course, darling.
01:17:29Hi.
01:17:30Ready?
01:17:31I am.
01:17:33Actually, Alex, if you don't mind, I would really like to walk your mother down the aisle.
01:17:40Of course, Dad.
01:17:42Um, you all got me here, so you all are walking me down the aisle.
01:17:48Hey, you too, Steven.
01:17:51Get in here, you handsome bastard.
01:17:55Quite a family.
01:17:56You ready?
01:17:58Right legs first.
01:18:09I'm going to leave you here.
01:18:11You're on your own.
01:18:13Be amazing.
01:18:16Ready?
01:18:17Yeah.
01:18:27Thank you all for coming.
01:18:31Love is not about keeping a score, hesitation, or fear.
01:18:39Love is about sacrifice, understanding, and forgiveness.
01:18:46As the great Persian poet said.
01:18:50And still, after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, you owe me.
01:18:59Look what happens with that kind of love.
01:19:04It lights the whole sky.
01:19:06Come on.
01:19:07Come on.
01:19:10Come on.
01:19:11Now, may I ask the ladies to join me for the Persian canopy.
01:19:23Rings, please.
01:19:31Maggie Baker.
01:19:33Do you accept Saman Ami Qasem Hosseini Tafreshi as your husband, willingly without any reservation?
01:19:42I sure do.
01:19:45I sure do.
01:19:47Saman Ami Qasem Hosseini Tafreshi, do you take Maggie Baker as your wife, willingly without any reservation?
01:19:57Heck yes.
01:20:01I now pronounce you husband and wife.
01:20:04You may kiss the bride.
01:20:10Now, let's party.
01:20:23Yes.
01:20:38Yeah.
01:20:39Yeah.
01:20:40Whoo!
01:20:41That's so good!
01:20:43Delicious.
01:20:43Sweet like you.
01:20:45Mmm.
01:20:46But, you know, there are weirder things.
01:20:48Yeah.
01:20:49Oh, yeah?
01:20:50Yeah, for sure.
01:20:52Name them.
01:20:54Oh, my mother.
01:20:56This is my...
01:20:57Oh, oh, sorry.
01:20:59Oh, honey, I'll be right back.
01:21:00Okay, okay.
01:21:05Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please.
01:21:08I just would like to say that today has been the most wonderful day of my life.
01:21:14Wow.
01:21:16Oh, look at that.
01:21:20And it is not only because I had the pleasure of marrying this beautiful goddess and the
01:21:27love of my life, Maggie Baker Hosseini, but also I would like to say that we have today
01:21:36with us in the house one of my favorite singers in the whole world.
01:21:41Ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome Miss Celine Dion.
01:21:46Whoo.
01:21:47Whoo, whoo!
01:21:50Whoo!
01:21:51What?
01:21:52What?
01:21:52What's the love?
01:21:54My favorite.
01:21:56Hallelujah.
01:21:57Hallelujah.
01:22:00Hallelujah.
01:22:02Hallelujah.
01:22:02Well, great, brother.
01:22:09I met you at a protest, I tried to keep my cool, a fire on a wedding day, and I
01:22:25fell
01:22:25in the pool. I'll be there in a heartbeat, anytime that you call. I want to be domestic partners
01:22:40now, so dumb and dandy you are. I wanted to tell you, but I was so filled with doubt. Fear,
01:22:55God in the way, but I am right here to say that I'm ready now.
01:23:36Wait, are we my cousins now? We're like second cousins, so it's really cool.
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