🔥🔥🔥FULL MOVIES ENGLISH SUB 2026
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#drama #cdrama #romantic
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Do you want to come and see my bed, Simon?
00:02It's new.
00:03Oh, it's like satin, isn't it?
00:05Isn't it? Cute.
00:07It's very nice. I'm just going to have a little lay down.
00:09Is that all right? Well, you'll be the first man on my bed.
00:12And I expect to be the last.
00:14I don't want to hear any more. Oh, my God.
00:17Oh, my God. This is nice, isn't it?
00:19Is it? Yeah. Night-night.
00:21Night-night, Jane.
00:25No!
00:27What an entrance.
00:28I'm living for this.
00:30Taser him.
00:31We have a little chocolate. It's all sad.
00:33I don't think so.
00:34Hey!
00:35Oh, here we go.
00:36What is that?
00:37Oh, shut up.
00:38This doesn't look real.
00:40I don't think it is.
00:41A framboisier? What's a framboisier?
00:44Oh, I knew it.
00:45No!
00:46This looks dodgy, doesn't it?
00:47Does? Why is it dodgy?
00:48This is going to go down so badly.
00:50None of us learn, do we?
00:53Wow.
00:54I hate you.
00:56Must remember that bellend.
00:57This is what everyone came for.
01:00The lamp bells were ringing with me, Mary.
01:03At least the nipples are covered.
01:04Yeah.
01:05It's half the battle.
01:06In the week the Brit Awards went to Manchester,
01:09we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:13Alexander Armstrong was on the loose in India.
01:16Extreme poverty, spectacular wealth,
01:19all jostle alongside each other
01:21in a full-on riot of colourful chaos.
01:24I do feel like I'd like to explore the world a little bit more
01:28because there's so much to see.
01:30When I get scared of going somewhere I've not been before,
01:32I'm very, like, I like to stay at the same places.
01:35I just think there's so much to see in Durham and Newcastle,
01:38I'm happy where I am.
01:40People were getting uncomfortably close on Channel 4.
01:43Can I just have my arm up here?
01:45Yeah.
01:45That's all right, isn't it?
01:47Yeah.
01:50Do you know what?
01:51I do kind of get what it's like to be handcuffed to somebody difficult,
01:55you know,
01:56cos every time I come round here and sit with you,
01:58it's the same kind of vibe.
02:00Nobody's got a gun to your head.
02:04You're round my house, you've come round.
02:06See what I mean?
02:07Being difficult already.
02:09And famous faces were feeling flummoxed on Channel 5.
02:14Pink wafer and milk chocolate digestive.
02:17Oh!
02:19You can steal Matt and Sally.
02:21It's a nice game, this, Mary.
02:23Very relaxed.
02:24And it doesn't have any of the stupid background noise
02:27that the others have.
02:29Yeah.
02:33Very good, Mary.
02:35Do you want to do that again?
02:36No.
02:45In Leeds...
02:46Toby's texted me, he said he's left me a present on stairs.
02:49Let me go see what it is.
02:52Aww.
02:54Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
02:56Oh, he's such a wet wipe.
02:59He's not.
03:00Why has he got you then?
03:02I don't know if he's put a card in.
03:04What has he...
03:04Ooh, the smell nice.
03:05The smell lovely.
03:07Nothing.
03:07For Frig's sake.
03:12That's what you get for gloating with your flowers.
03:16Spill juice on me own carpet!
03:19This week, the love-blind hopefuls of Netflix had stepped out of the pods and into the next
03:25phase of the dating game.
03:27You're just coming onto the motorway of love, really, aren't you?
03:29You think about it, you know, with the getting engaged and getting married.
03:33You know, me and Paige, you've got a couple of miles under our belt on the love motorway now.
03:37Yeah, I'd say I'm probably off the slipway gaining speed.
03:39Yeah, yeah, whereas we are, we're cruising at 70, you know, holding on for dear life.
03:46When everyone says, what, is your type?
03:48I mean, I don't think I have a type.
03:50Well, I do, but I'm trying to change my type.
03:55There's quite a lot in there, let's unpack that.
04:01The couples have just met about a week ago and now they've moved in together.
04:06Yes.
04:07They haven't got the ick yet.
04:09This is where it all starts, though, Jenny, because they've moved out the pods now.
04:13Oh, right.
04:14This is it.
04:14The face-to-face.
04:16I'm so excited.
04:18See what Chibi's doing.
04:20You ready?
04:20Now, for Jessica and Chris, everything's been going unbelievably well, but it is a homestay,
04:24so that could change.
04:25You don't know anybody until you've seen their living environments.
04:29Yeah, it's just crazy, like, you're here.
04:31I know.
04:32I can't wait to see your place, too.
04:33I know, I'm so excited.
04:34I think you look at me like that, but normally after a few glasses of Prosecco.
04:40I don't know why he doesn't take his hat off in the house.
04:42I know I've said this repeatedly, but I'm so excited to come home to you.
04:46Oh.
04:48This is over the moon, yeah?
04:53Oh.
04:54Kiss me quick.
04:54You get kisses, too, boy.
04:56Well, there's a sick monkey.
04:57Do you know why?
04:58Because we're not used to seeing it on here.
04:59No, no.
05:00This is it, you see.
05:01I think so much coming, though, like.
05:03No, I just think it's fucking jealousy.
05:04Yeah.
05:11Hello.
05:12Well, there's a sigh coming in, wasn't it?
05:15So much's off now.
05:16Mmm.
05:17There's been a switch up in the body language.
05:19How's your day?
05:23It's productive.
05:25Yeah, how so?
05:26He just gave her a cold shoulder.
05:28Energy's well off, man.
05:30Not even giving her a kiss hello.
05:31Where'd she go last night?
05:33Where'd I go last night?
05:34He's trying to think of where he went last night,
05:36so what he's saying isn't actually where he was.
05:38If you had called for two minutes and been like,
05:41hey, like, I just really feel like I need to, like,
05:42see my friend and, like, fucking decompress and talk,
05:45and I'm...
05:46Oh, this isn't good.
05:48He's not thinking about you, love.
05:50If Josh didn't call me one night,
05:52I'd have been fuming.
05:54Mmm.
05:55I would have enjoyed the peace.
05:57Instead, getting a text being like,
05:59I'm getting a drink with a friend, I'm staying down here.
06:01Oh, he ditched her last night.
06:02Yep, Chris went out.
06:03Chris went out last night, no phone call, nothing.
06:05And, like, that was it.
06:06Like, I don't need to be in constant communication.
06:08It's not constant communication, it's just basic manners!
06:12I sent you one text today saying that and saying that I love you,
06:15and you didn't say anything back.
06:17Something going on here, girl.
06:19And he didn't say anything back!
06:22That'd be it.
06:22If Toby did that to me while he's in Windsor and I'm in Leeds,
06:25I'd be straight on that M1.
06:27Very vast difference from being in constant communication with someone.
06:31He wants to try going out with us.
06:32It'd be 66 missed calls later for me.
06:36I feel like a lot of my life I wasn't as direct as I need to be.
06:39Oh, no!
06:40Oh, here we go.
06:41Do you think we have a good physical connection?
06:43Oh!
06:46Uh...
06:47Uh...
06:48He wants out.
06:49You do not say something like that to a woman.
06:51Hell no.
06:51I do.
06:52Do you know it?
06:53I feel like it's super important.
06:54Oh my God, he doesn't fancy her!
06:56I'm trying to, like, pick my words carefully.
06:58Mm-hmm.
06:58Yeah, you better.
06:59You better.
07:00And that's one thing as a man, you know, you've got to pick your words carefully,
07:03you know, because I said some shit, you know?
07:06Like, for me, like, just to be totally honest...
07:09Please!
07:10...and, like, without sounding like a fucking dickhead.
07:12Yeah.
07:12You're going to sound like one.
07:14So just go ahead.
07:14He's not even giving her eye contact so we know what's coming.
07:17Go for it.
07:17I date people who, like, fucking do, like, fucking crossfit and shit.
07:20Mm-hmm.
07:21Oh, wow!
07:22Oh, my God.
07:22So he's basically saying that she doesn't look like he thought she looked like and he's
07:26not into her.
07:27What a wanker.
07:29It's he blind!
07:30I wouldn't...
07:30She's gorgeous!
07:32Somebody who, like, works out all the time and, like, has, like, a different type of...
07:37He's still at it.
07:38Oh, no, you do know.
07:40Come on, spit it out.
07:41A different type of, like, body?
07:43No!
07:44Red flag.
07:45Knob.
07:46Get rid of.
07:47Yep.
07:47You're, like, 5'3".
07:49Who are you?
07:50Talk about her physique.
07:52Sorry.
07:53Sorry.
07:55I wasn't expecting that.
07:58Can you stand up for me so I can have a second look?
08:01It's just, like, somebody who does fucking, like, Pilates every day or, like, someone
08:06who's, like, working out every day.
08:07She's a doctor.
08:08She hasn't got time.
08:09This is what I mean.
08:09She's busy.
08:10Saving lives and shit.
08:11What are you doing?
08:12He's only brown painting himself.
08:14Brown shit, more like.
08:16I feel like he's stupid.
08:17Why?
08:18Because you fat shamed her.
08:20That's why.
08:21You're a tosser.
08:21Me not working out every day is even a sentence that came up in this conversation.
08:25It's blowing my mind.
08:26Oh, my gosh.
08:27I just don't even know what I meant by that.
08:29That is exactly what you just said.
08:31You want somebody who does Pilates every day.
08:34You pipe.
08:36My body isn't good enough for you.
08:38Like, I'm never going to be like, oh, please still love me.
08:41That's not what I'm here for.
08:42Well done.
08:43Good for you, girl.
08:44Amen.
08:44I'm not at the gym like a little bunny or a little hamster going round in a wheel.
08:51I'm saving fucking lives, you tosser.
08:56Go on, girl.
08:58Go see your mates.
08:59Down bottles of Prosecco.
09:01Screech to Westlife and call him a bastard.
09:06In Blackpool.
09:08Guess what I made this week?
09:09I don't know.
09:11Banana bread with chocolate chips in.
09:13Oh, yeah?
09:14Well, nice.
09:15Pete and his little sister Sophie.
09:17What's come over you?
09:18Why have you decided to do that?
09:20Just woke up and I thought, I'm making a banana bread today.
09:23Got all the ingredients delivered.
09:25Knocked the shit out of it.
09:26Me and Ben tried it.
09:27It was lovely.
09:28This is what I love about your life.
09:29Completely different to mine.
09:31Pace-wise.
09:32Yeah.
09:33I'm woken up and I'm making banana bread.
09:35Yeah, you're constantly firefighting.
09:38I'm getting a load of shit at work.
09:40You, I'm going to make banana bread today.
09:44On Saturday night, more show-offs were giving it their all on ITV.
09:49Do you know, quicker do I lead my seat, he's in his straightaway and he...
09:53Yeah.
09:54Your talent could be making me cocktails because I feel like you've really upped your game on them.
09:59I'm going to leave out the Glaced Cherries next time.
10:03Do you remember the time when we was rehearsing for the local talent show?
10:09We'd done rehearsing for about two hours and then...
10:12I don't realise we're not, we're shit.
10:14Yeah.
10:15None of us can sing.
10:20I'm scared.
10:22Oh, no.
10:23Oh, it's going to be some scary.
10:24It's scary as shit.
10:25I'm not in the mood.
10:26I love it when they do all the dark, weird, eerie stuff.
10:33Oh, no.
10:35Oh, chains, Teresa, chains.
10:42What in the SNM is going on here?
10:44He's got a ring there around his neck.
10:46It's not dominatrix, is it? Jesus Christ.
10:49Well, no, you can't have sex on you, you dick.
10:52Here we are now.
10:57What's he got there, a white?
10:59Oh, where's that going?
11:02In this year?
11:04Oh, my God.
11:05Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
11:06I don't know if I can watch this.
11:11Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
11:16Oh, look at his ears have stretched.
11:21Oh, no, this is entertainment, this is it.
11:24No, it's not entertaining me, is it, you?
11:25Oh, I feel sick.
11:27I suppose it's original.
11:28I haven't seen that before.
11:32Original?
11:33Yeah.
11:38Oh
11:40Nice on the net. I know it's on the next can't stand it on the nips
11:52Is it door I can't cope with this now tell me when it's stopped
11:58That is why would that what did that even
12:04This is all a bit weird for Britain's Got Talent. I'm sorry. This is on the wrong bloody channel. This
12:08needs to be on after watershed
12:11Well, he still has one more appendage nutty that he could hang things from yeah, he wouldn't be allowed to
12:17do that in a family show
12:21What's going on here we're still going again no more
12:27Oh
12:28Well, it's both of them at the same time is a nipples. Oh God
12:35Go go where where's he going?
12:41Is it her weight? Is he gonna have her weight? Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh my god. Oh, don't know
12:55Just tear off
13:00I love how she's giving it all that yeah, we're not looking at you love we're looking at his neck
13:11Is that it thank God for that you can't unsee that can you you really can't do we clap?
13:27You know hey, Jenny do you know this morning? I went out shopping yeah, somebody open the door for man.
13:32Oh, thank you very much
13:33Didn't say thank you nothing
13:35No, just didn't say a word to me and out best friends jenny and lee
13:40And then I give this woman a trot the trolley as I was going out. Yeah
13:45You know, I said oh, you can have man
13:47She just took the trolley and went off. She didn't say nothing to me at all
13:51She didn't thank you or nothing. No, no, just like you did when I give you a cup of tea
13:58You'll never say thank you
14:01On Monday night Jonathan Ross had a daring new show up his sleeve on channel 4
14:06How would you like to be handcuffed to me mary? Well, I effectively i'm handcuffed to you
14:12You're never more than a few yards away
14:15Have you ever been handcuffed and i don't mean by police because then we all have
14:20No, we haven't
14:22Did you survive being handcuffed to a total stranger no absolutely not a chance 18 people have agreed to do
14:30Just that
14:31For a big guy i'm getting a little nervous
14:33I've seen him on summit before him from a posh baronet with a former prison officer
14:38Well, I think it's a bit chalk and cheese
14:40I don't know what you think this is to the total opposites in it
14:43Yeah to a self-confessed prude with a porn star this gets even better oh, he's a porn star
14:50Is that where you
14:51Is that where you said where have i seen him before oh no
14:56The last pair standing come on we don't do that round here will win 100 000 pounds
15:04Oh my goodness
15:06There's a huge incentive
15:08I don't think there's anything that i wouldn't tolerate for that kind of money
15:15Oh, it must be awful they're gonna have a life of hell with each other
15:18At the just
15:20In the program we saw prison officer george paired with baronet sir benjamin slade
15:26Who was taking him on a tour of his gaff
15:28So when was this house first built the room you were in was there in 878 878 yeah
15:35That's fucking alfred the great in it so we switched on then george
15:39Fucking 878
15:41Fucking alfred the great he knows his history doesn't he mary that that was a painting
15:46Done by a famous artist the german chappy
15:51hang on hitler hitler hitler oh
15:56a german chappy
15:59i wouldn't want his painting in my house because of what he did to humanity that is a horror of
16:05a human being
16:06tell him george tell him again it's pretty dark that somebody would want to work by hitler in their house
16:12isn't it
16:12it's very typical of the upper classes mary they love to provoke oh no no no
16:18Nigel come here nigel
16:20Nigel the dog please tell me he's not named after farage yes he's nigel
16:26you're lying oh my god nigel farage the other one's boris johnson
16:32Nigel and boris where's margaret thatcher she's got to be knocking around somewhere aren't she
16:37quasi come here quasi quasi's a good dog quasi quasi quasi
16:44quasi quasi quasi
16:47well this dog's black isn't it
16:53these lovely politically incorrect statues
16:58these racist statues aren't they
16:59they're racist these people were princes oh hold on they're black african slaves they look like
17:06they're in servitude how do you know they're black slaves well look they've got loincloths on in
17:10submission thank you oh what do you mean they're in of course they're in submission do you know why
17:16they're like that because they've got their hands up please please don't you do that it's
17:19because the glass table goes on top oh my day you're missing the point here ben lad a bit later
17:28sir ben invited some of his mates round for a dinner party
17:32oh what's that christy i'm just gonna plum in his mouth he's going up his ass
17:43you know he's like a harry edfield character
17:47nigel farage oh here we go he is the most dynamic politician that has been in this country for 20
17:55year oh my god just embarrassed to be watching this she's taking to vote oh in the same way it
18:03was
18:03exciting to vote for mussolini and hitler and trump oh he's lifting all the fucking dictators now
18:10come on come on come on this is also what i love he's he's way more educated than any of
18:16them at the
18:16table way way more general knowledge none of them thinks that as well yeah with dinner over
18:21sir ben is far from satisfied why would you do that i'll talk down oh my god the bickering now
18:30them two sir ben's raging at georgia going for a pow wow in the garage i want my phone
18:37there's the rules he's not allowed his phone is he no are you gonna get it or not i'm not
18:41no get my
18:42phone oh he's so rude ben is not used to people saying no to him no i don't think they'll
18:48tell me
18:49what i'll do in my own house i'll tell them they're not with me oh it's pissed off now
18:55oh my mouth isn't it it's all coming out now don't it sound good when it's boss
18:59fucking fucking fucking fucking i'm fucking doing my fucking house
19:04sure you want to do this yeah i don't know i've got no choice he's gonna go and take off
19:09don't treat me like that in my own house right i don't want to be part of all this
19:15what what it's cutting it it's cutting it no way oh 100 grand down the pan
19:21done george will be fuming he could have put up with his bollocks for 100 grand george could have
19:27done it inca philly what did you think of that meal in a week well i don't know
19:34what my bloody burger was like cardboard i'm not ever a burger dave and his wife shirley
19:41oh i did like the dessert creme caramel no you can't sucky you thought you was gonna do brulee brulee
19:49he said no brulee brulee crème brulee yeah no well i said to her are the three mini desserts on
19:58the
19:59offer she said yeah and she comes back with one i thought friggin hell you want a shot you want
20:06you
20:06on sunday night there was something puzzling about jeremy vine on channel five we always watch these
20:24quiz shows but we're bloody useless doesn't take a lot to puzzle you does it no darling it doesn't take
20:31a lot to puzzle me and as i get older it gets easier and easier by the day
20:38i like it
20:43scribble no
20:47nuts and crosses it's time to make some serious shapes as we take on shape shifters
20:53oh heavens oh let's cut some shapes the shape on the right hand side is what's on the board
20:59and you've just got to be clever enough to transfer that shape onto that board yes
21:05adjectives in d-i-s-c-o by ottawa remember the song yeah d-i-s-c-o right
21:15desirable irresistible and super sexy oh it's desirable irresistible super sexy it definitely says
21:20super sexy in d-i-s-c-o so it's irresistible desirable let's have a look desirable irresistible
21:27or super sexy yeah julie i got that one uk place names wonderful fanny barks what christ
21:36is cock up and itchy bottom well i do read edin's a need a lot of them all right it's
21:43a kind of a
21:44reverse l look at that on a corner wet wang it's not far from here is it wet wang there's
21:49a lovely
21:50chip shop at wet wang i think lower smell great cock and wet wangs lower swell is a place that's
21:55well it's definitely a place where did you see lower swell top left top blue bulge lower swell is
22:00definitely a place great cock up i think wet wang might also be one as well did i say wet
22:05wang
22:06you've gone for wet wang great cock up and lower swell i've gone for fanny barks magnum sheath
22:12and pratt's bottom fanny barks magnum sheath and pratt's button oh oh no no let's see if that's right
22:21so i could be right by you i'm going wet wang i do wet wang great cock up lower swell
22:27yeah now then now then
22:29wet wang great cock up and lower swell yes you don't know yet let's see if that's right i'm right
22:37am i right well done like oh i'm good at this i want to be lord of wet wang i'm
22:45surprised those
22:46place names haven't been cancelled by people might be triggered by it young people feeling triggered
22:53oh join the darts yeah you could do this one julie join the darts here we go soap one word
23:03here come the lines palm olive redox that was a guess
23:12yeah crossroads coronation street no it's one word
23:16oh what is it crossroads crossroads crossroads do you remember crossroads i do
23:26no way
23:30i'm thinking soap like actual bar soap called crossroads i'm thinking like imperial leather dub yeah
23:40the rock like dwayne the rock or what
23:46that's the g-i-p what jib what jib the rock one word gibraltar gibraltar gibraltar
24:09uh diana ross what is that bon joe v no is b b b b b b b b b
24:19b b b b b b b b b
24:23b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b oh britney spares
24:25no no
24:26no
24:26no
24:28b b b b b b b b b b bacon b b b b b bchar本 ? Bachelor Boone
24:31? Benson Boone ? Benson Boone B.ceasu
24:34Boone ? Benson Boone ? Benson Boone he says is that right
24:38Difficult that one. See, I don't know. I don't know Benson boonies. Do you know Benson boonies?
24:44I've no idea. Who is he?
24:55In Bristol, I left this little bit for you. Thank you. I respect that you
25:00I would have left you more. Listen, I would have left you at least a cup full. I'm saying, you
25:05know
25:06I know what Trem's like. Trem just only wants like a quarter or half a cup.
25:10Brothers Jermaine, Twain and Tristan. Truth be told, that's perfect for me. Thank you. Yeah, you might just want a
25:17little just a
25:18Chester taste. Yeah, what would the word be like a planet up planet palette cleanser? That's it. Yeah, not a
25:23planet cleanser
25:25palette cleanser. That's the word. I couldn't get my words up. But yeah, you might want to cleanse your
25:30palette with that. All right, Vladimir Putin. On Friday, ITV was full of surprises. I managed to get
25:38hold of these daffodils, Mary, which were lying horizontal on the ground because they'd been
25:43dashed down by the winter rain and now it's spring. How beautiful. How come you didn't want a tea? Ellie,
25:50I've had about three coffees. I'm absolutely off my tits. Worst thing I did, we'll buy that bean to
25:54coffee machine. What the fucking hell is that? It's a robot. Would he be a good wind man for you,
26:10Jake? No, just embarrass me. Show me up. University of Huddersfield. Lovely. Come on,
26:20hello everyone and welcome to Fridays this morning. I am Harold the robot. Oh, don't tell me they've got a
26:26robot
26:27doing this morning now. Oh, well, it might be more interesting. And I am delighted to be in the studio
26:34with
26:34Alison and Dermot today. Oh, it's over. Oh, he's small, isn't he, Harold the robot? Harold the robot's very small.
26:43Childlike? Our next guest, Professor John Murray, says that pretty soon robots will be able to make a cup of
26:48tea,
26:48clean our homes and make life a little bit easier. Yeah, how soon? And the great thing is you wouldn't
26:53have to make a cuppa for them.
26:54No, you wouldn't. You don't have to feed them. No. So, Harold's a commercial product that we got at the
27:00university
27:00about six months ago and we've been using it for research in assisted living. Assisted living? This is you?
27:05Your mum struggles to use an iPhone. I know, exactly. You've got no chance of her controlling a Harold.
27:12So, theoretically, anyone could buy a version of Harold. Yes. Then you take it into the workshop or the lab
27:17and then tinker with it and see what you can do with it, right? That's it, yeah. How much are
27:20they?
27:21Oh. Do you think that I can't afford one? I can tell you that right now.
27:27He can do martial arts as well, couldn't he? Can we see that? We can. Martial arts? Chop, chop.
27:33I suppose if you can do martial arts, it'd be good if you had an intruder coming to your home.
27:37Just set the robot onto him. What a martial art.
27:40So, I'll just put him on. Here we go. Connecting, Blasey.
27:43That's always the way, isn't it? Never work with, er... Triple I.
27:47Oh, no!
27:50It just... It just... It just popped.
27:53His legs unbuggled. Was that martial arts?
27:56John, is he OK? He's totally fine, so...
27:59It's a controller error, I think, is part of the problem.
28:02I know, this would drive me mad. I think I've changed my mind. I don't want a robot.
28:06Oh, it's a very capoeira. Oh, yeah.
28:09I love that they've spent all their time teaching Harold martial arts and dancing.
28:16It's like, guys, can we stick to the plan?
28:19Assisted living, care in the home. Oh, yes.
28:22Whoa!
28:23Oh, my God! Roundhouse kick?
28:26But, I mean, that's not actually helping anyone. No.
28:29I'd rather see him whip up a curry than do martial arts.
28:32Why do you like helping people, Harold?
28:34I love helping people. It makes me feel incredibly happy.
28:38Oh, my God, that's creepy.
28:40One day, I hope me and my siblings can live in homes across the UK
28:44to help make life easier for those who need it.
28:47Your siblings?
28:48There's more of you!
28:50Oh, he's already into breeding then, isn't he?
28:53No, that's his brothers and sisters.
28:55Oh, no, but someone's breeding them.
28:58What's the time frame, do you think?
29:00Like, in 10, 15 years, could people have, like, an automated helper?
29:05So, I hope it'll be around that.
29:06When you two get old...
29:08That's a long time. That's a long time.
29:09I don't need to bother looking after you.
29:11I'm just going to buy one of these.
29:12That's a long time, Shay.
29:13Shove it in the house and get you one of those.
29:15Is that or a care home pick?
29:21In the Cotswolds...
29:23Darling, I've got something quite funny to tell you.
29:25What?
29:26I was walking down the high street yesterday.
29:29Yeah.
29:29And, um, something you've gifted to someone.
29:33What?
29:34Locally.
29:35Is it a charity shop?
29:36Don't be ridiculous. What?
29:37It's a... It's a jacket.
29:39That jacket?
29:40That you actually made.
29:41Andrew and his husband, Alfie.
29:44Somebody's taken a present we've given them
29:46and taken it to the charity shop.
29:48To the charity shop in the window.
29:51Was it? The Eyes on You one?
29:53Yeah.
29:54Yeah, which is really obvious.
29:55Yeah.
29:56Oh, my God, how ungrateful are people.
29:59Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
30:01Well, they never sold very many anyway.
30:03We weren't mighty to begin with, to be fair.
30:06It wasn't exactly a bestseller, was it?
30:09On Saturday, there was only one story dominating the headlines on ITV.
30:14You can make the next cup, eh?
30:16Oh, thank you.
30:17I will.
30:17It's the beginning of meteorological spring, Mary.
30:21I know, but the time's going so fast.
30:24We may as well dig ourselves graves and get into them.
30:27No, Mary.
30:30This is ITV News with Romilly Weeks.
30:34Romilly Weeks, Mary.
30:35Look at her.
30:36Isn't she charming?
30:38Good afternoon.
30:39Iran has retaliated today with multiple missile strikes across the Middle East.
30:44Oh, God.
30:44This is scary, isn't it?
30:46They're lashing out at American bases in the Middle East as they said they would, Mary.
30:51Oh, I see the American bases.
30:54Yes.
30:54After the US and Israel launched a major attack on the country.
30:58I thought Iran had been neutralised by Trump a few months ago.
31:02So Trump would hope you'd think that, Mary.
31:05The Pentagon named it Operation Epic Fury.
31:07Epic Fury?
31:09Honest to God.
31:10What do you think is a boxer?
31:11With Donald Trump pledging to obliterate Iran's missiles and annihilate its navy.
31:17Oh, dear.
31:18Well, that's got to calm things down nicely, isn't it?
31:21Oh, Donald don't end up a can of worms here.
31:23I don't think he always thinks through things properly, does he?
31:26Qatar, Bahrain and Saudi Arabia were all hit in the Iranian response.
31:31And there's been an explosion at the Palm Hotel in Dubai.
31:36Lucy Stevens is supposed to be moving there, isn't she?
31:39Yes, she is.
31:39I wonder if she'll still go.
31:41You're not safe anywhere, are you?
31:43Wow.
31:43Have you checked on Steve?
31:45No, I haven't, actually.
31:47Well, you need to check on him.
31:47I know, but he's in Cyprus.
31:49They'll be a bit safe there, won't they?
31:50This is an air assault by the United States and Israel with the overt aim of regime change
31:56in Iran.
31:57There's a sense of deja vu when I hear that word regime change, Nutty.
32:01It reminds me of WMD, David Kelly, the dodgy dossiers.
32:06The United States military began major combat operations in Iran.
32:12What has he got that on his head for?
32:14Why would he do it now?
32:15Well, he needs to do it now, Nutty, because of his poll ratings going very badly.
32:19Partly I feel like this is because Trump wants to get people off the Epstein files.
32:23They're like, look at this war!
32:25Our objective is to defend the American people by eliminating imminent threats from the Iranian
32:32regime.
32:33What is the imminent threat from the Iranian regime?
32:36This is the first time hearing about it.
32:38They must know something that we don't.
32:40A vicious group of very hard, terrible people.
32:46Yeah, but you can't tire them all with the same brush.
32:48I'm sure there's some very nice people as well.
32:50I think it's about the leadership regime, not everybody.
32:53It's not people that are just, like, in a shop.
32:55For many years you have asked for America's help, but you never got it.
32:59No president was willing to do what I am willing to do tonight.
33:03Well, there's a reason why past presidents haven't done this before.
33:07It is a big threat to the worldwide peace, Iran.
33:10So I reckon if you do get the regime out of the way and make nice peace there, it'll be
33:13a lot better for everyone.
33:14Now is the time to seize control of your destiny and to unleash the prosperous and glorious
33:20future that is close within your reach.
33:23So the unarmed civilian population of Iran, please rise up against the really well-armed,
33:28bloodthirsty leaders of Iran.
33:30Who killed thousands of people a few months ago who tried to protest.
33:33Yeah.
33:34Our forces are active and British planes are in the sky today.
33:40God, it's worrying, isn't it, really?
33:42As part of coordinated regional defensive operations.
33:47Well, you're saying that for now.
33:49So in layman's terms, the dog's still on the leg, but it's following at the mouth
33:53ready to go.
33:53This has the potential to come back and sting us in the Vale of Pusey.
33:59If they close the straits of Hormuth, okay, Hormuth.
34:05That means petrol prices will go up.
34:08Next week, we'll all be buying, bought buying again.
34:12I can't because I ain't got many cupboards in our house.
34:14I can't bought buy.
34:24Back in the day, your dad used to have an apex, eh?
34:28Yeah, now it's a six.
34:30You went to the gym yesterday and all you did was a tour.
34:32No, it was a day pass.
34:34But you didn't...
34:35A day pass and you didn't use it?
34:36A day pass and you just walked around the gym.
34:38Sarah, the husband, Andre, and their daughter, Shay.
34:42Don't worry, I'll be there tomorrow.
34:43But you were gone for two hours.
34:45Yeah, because I had to go to the shop to buy all the ingredients.
34:49What, you thought I was in the gym for two hours?
34:51Yes, that's what you said.
34:52You're going to the gym.
34:53No, I went to look at the gym.
34:55Yeah, dad was thinking about food the whole time he was there.
34:58That's why he left, to go and pick up the groceries to cook.
35:00I was thinking about cooking dinner.
35:02I was like, the guy said, oh, we can show you around and then you can stay.
35:05And I was like, listen, just let me walk around quickly.
35:07I was there for about ten minutes.
35:10Probably seven.
35:13On Thursday, another chap was off on a long haul holiday
35:17and wanted to tell us all about it on Channel 5.
35:20India's on my bucket list, Simon.
35:22My bucket list too.
35:23Is it?
35:24Yeah, yeah, I've not been.
35:25No, not have I.
35:26I feel it could be quite hard with a mobility scooter.
35:28It might be.
35:29Your term would not be.
35:32geared up for India.
35:33You see, you underestimate my IBS.
35:36You know, as long as it's managed correctly
35:38and I took at least a hand luggage amount of emodee.
35:4210 kg allowance.
35:44Yeah, I think I'd be all right.
35:46Welcome to India.
35:48Have you ever been to India before?
35:49I think you'd know if I'd been to India.
35:52In this series, I'm going on a journey.
35:55The closest I'll ever get to being in the Hells Angels.
35:58One would come into her own somewhere like this.
36:00Oh, yeah.
36:01And I'd be never off the horn.
36:03And to experience how old India is.
36:06Was that the great...
36:07Oh, no, I'm thinking of the great...
36:08The great wall of India.
36:09And China.
36:10Yeah.
36:13Alexander Armstrong, did he stay to a house in France once?
36:16He did indeed.
36:17He didn't do a programme on that.
36:19That is for sure.
36:25Oh, look at that.
36:27Monsoon, where they...
36:27Oh, you did have to get the monsoon there, you know.
36:29Do they?
36:30Oh, hi.
36:30This was the day I'd planned to spend with the legendary Dubberwallers.
36:35What are Dubberwallers?
36:36These are Dubberwallers.
36:37Dubberwallers, Simon.
36:38Yeah.
36:39Yeah, legendary.
36:40This 5,000-strong army has delivered home-cooked lunches nearly every day since 1890.
36:47Oh.
36:47Fucking hell, that's a fair old shift.
36:48Hey, do you know the other night we ordered a garlic bread and chips?
36:52Yeah.
36:52It took two hours to come.
36:54I am joking.
36:56The bins was dab.
36:57Now I'm wearing the famous Dubberwaller uniform.
36:59I feel I was born for this.
37:01What was the uniform?
37:02Just a hat?
37:02Just a hat, yeah.
37:03All you've done is worn your own clothes.
37:06With a heart on.
37:06With a heart on.
37:08A Dabber refers specifically to the metal lunchbox.
37:11Oh.
37:12Oh.
37:12Yeah, I've seen them.
37:14They look so cool.
37:15And a waller is the person who carries it.
37:18Dabberwaller.
37:19Dabberwaller.
37:20Dabberwaller.
37:21The puckerwallers used to be the ones with the fans, didn't they?
37:24Oh, right.
37:24Over 200,000 containers of home-cooked food are delivered across Mumbai every day.
37:30That's amazing.
37:31A day?
37:32Yeah, that's extraordinary.
37:33No way.
37:34My colleague Santosh and I are picking up Mr Kakani's lunch, just recently made for him by Mrs Kakani here.
37:41I like this idea.
37:42Yeah, good luck.
37:43I say, Dad, you work upstairs from home and I still don't get lunch cooked for me.
37:49So I could tell I'm a bit peckish and I could phone her and say, can you get to Jane's,
37:54my sister's, get her to knock me up a quick lasagna?
37:57Would you be all right with that?
37:58Yeah.
38:02As noon strikes, legions of Dabberwallers arrive with lunch.
38:06They've got some dinner, look at them lot.
38:08I won't trust myself with all them lunches.
38:10I couldn't be a Dabberwaller.
38:11You could.
38:12I hope that lunch is worth all this.
38:15I don't understand why the husbands can't just take it to work with them in the morning.
38:19Lazy sods.
38:20This is one of the central sorting areas.
38:22Our post office can't sort like this, can they?
38:25No.
38:26And this is where their clever code of colours, numbers and symbols comes into its own.
38:31I get a bit confused.
38:33You could so easily pick up a pilau instead of mushroom rice, couldn't you?
38:36Yeah.
38:37I need somehow to work out where I'm going.
38:39Well, I guess the clue's here.
38:41I will look for Street 21.
38:43I'm looking for a building that begins with R.
38:45Oh, God.
38:46It's just wandering around India aimlessly.
38:49I feel sorry for whoever's lunch he's got.
38:56Well, here we are.
38:57Raymond House.
38:58Ah, yes, we're here.
39:00That is the R in the code here.
39:03Er, 4, 4, 4.
39:04So, simple as that.
39:06Similar as that.
39:07Go now.
39:08For the 1, 4.
39:10Hello, Mr. Kekane.
39:12Er, no, he's off today.
39:14HE LAUGHS
39:20Ah, Mr. Kekane.
39:21He found him.
39:22Sweaty Englishman has turned up.
39:24There you are.
39:26I hope it's still warm.
39:27Of course it is.
39:28I have my own dad, but she's called Angela and she's my mum.
39:32I've just thought.
39:33I think what we have learnt from that is that what a good wife does is cook...
39:37I'd be very careful where you go with this now.
39:40So, in other words, he loves his wife's cooking,
39:43so he's happy to eat her every day, isn't he?
39:45Yeah, well, there we are.
39:46Yeah.
39:47That's why he ate crisps most of my work, Italy.
39:53In Blackpool...
39:54Do you know what I've found with Paige, right?
39:56Any, like, remotest bit of stress or pressure,
39:59she just buckles and starts being a sausage with me.
40:02I just love it.
40:03Because she turns into, like, a full-on Sonia for Extenders.
40:07Pete and his little sister Sophie.
40:10We had one the other day.
40:11She went,
40:13We've got to leave by ten past.
40:15We've got to leave by ten past.
40:17And I was sat in the car at ten past.
40:20I was sat in the car for ten past and Paige's going,
40:23You fucking made us late now.
40:24I'm like, it's funny, we're all sat in the car
40:27and you've come out at twelve minutes past.
40:28You absolutely are the world's worst for that.
40:32I knew you'd have a fucking side.
40:34Whatever.
40:35On Thursday night,
40:37the brightest brains in business were back on the BBC.
40:40Ba-bam, ba-bam, ba-bam, ba-bam, ba-bam, ba-bam, ba-bam, ba-bam.
40:44I wonder what disaster's going to happen this week.
40:48You fired.
40:51I was an apprentice for ages.
40:53I was an apprentice hairdresser,
40:55an apprentice business adminner.
40:58Oh, yeah.
41:00Was I an apprentice credit controller?
41:04I've been an apprentice for flippin' years, actually.
41:07I think I've only just come out of the apprentice stage.
41:09In the episode,
41:11Lord Sugar had sent everyone off to Egypt
41:13with the task of organising a corporate away day.
41:17So I would really love to put myself
41:19forward to project manager for this.
41:20God, they must all be sweating the tits off,
41:22suited and booted up like that.
41:24I've done a lot of events in the UK
41:25and it's here to 25 events last year.
41:28OK, Megan, sounding good.
41:29So she's got experience then?
41:31They need to utilise that.
41:33I do want to go down the luxury route
41:34because they are a luxury client,
41:36so I do want to mention the word luxury
41:38and I'd like to go with, like, a mid-range
41:39for, like, catering, for drinks.
41:42Caviar.
41:42You want a bit of caviar there?
41:44On crackers.
41:45Caviar on crackers.
41:47Look at this.
41:48We've got caviar on crackers, yeah?
41:49Hoping to drive through a deal with high-end car brand DS Auto.
41:54DS Auto?
41:55Weren't they on Ashton O'Rod in Clayton, where we used to live?
41:59There was a DSO, though, wasn't it, yeah?
42:00Yeah.
42:01Doesn't look like the man we used to deal with, though.
42:04So we're looking for an experience focusing on style, luxury.
42:08Yeah.
42:09Yeah.
42:10Style, luxury.
42:11Got it, got it, yeah.
42:12Now, in terms of pricing,
42:14we have worked out a price of $10,000.
42:17Here we go.
42:17Watch her fall off the couch.
42:22Yeah.
42:23Right.
42:25For $10,000, we'd expect a private jet
42:27to go and see the pyramids.
42:29Yeah, yeah, I would have known, love.
42:31I'd want Alan Sugar's fucking Rolls Royce
42:33coming up to pick me up.
42:35Unfortunately, our absolute maximum
42:37would be $3,200.
42:40Meet me in the middle, nine grand.
42:43OK, thank you.
42:44Lovely to meet you.
42:45Thank you very much.
42:46See you tomorrow.
42:47Ooh, you drive the night bargain.
42:49I can't bear to watch, actually.
42:52It's going to be a Muppet show, this, isn't it, eh?
42:54Yeah.
42:54The mid-range option, here we have the local sea bus.
42:58It's one of, like, very traditional dish.
43:00Yeah, that's proper.
43:02Matching a menu to Megan's luxury brief...
43:04We're served with childhood potatoes,
43:07basically triple fried.
43:08It's a very popular dish.
43:09It's chips, it's thick chips.
43:11I'd want more than that.
43:13What's in there?
43:14That's potato wedges, that, isn't it, actually?
43:16Is it?
43:17Guys, I know we don't have a lot of time,
43:19but I think we can get this all done with teamwork, OK?
43:21Oh, they've got to cook it.
43:23Oh, wow.
43:24Well, that looks half decent.
43:25Hello.
43:26So we've finally got your food out for you.
43:28Here's your wedges, guys.
43:30You've worked up a sweat for these.
43:31Enjoy.
43:32It's potato wedges, right?
43:35They're not just any old potato wedges, they, son.
43:38Use your eyes.
43:39It's like solid.
43:40Triple cooked.
43:42OK.
43:45They're hard.
43:45She can't cook through it.
43:47Oh.
43:48It's not how she cooked.
43:49Oh, no!
43:50What did they say?
43:51It's not cooked.
43:52Thing is, I'd be that hungry,
43:53I'd just be eating the cooked bits.
43:55It's like solid.
43:57Oh!
43:57Oh, he's going to go and complain.
43:59The potatoes aren't actually cooked.
44:01Oh, are they not?
44:02They're still slightly raw on the inside.
44:04It's actually called al dente nipshit.
44:07How hard is it to go wrong with a bloody wedge,
44:10potato wedge?
44:11Yeah, come on.
44:12It's potato.
44:14For Megan's team,
44:15Hope's pinned on a perfect mane.
44:17Is that the fish?
44:18That's the sea bass, Simon.
44:21Oh, well, it looks like it's been put together
44:22with a baseball bat.
44:23It's going to be difficult to serve that
44:25and make it look creamier
44:26because it's all broken apart.
44:27Oh, that's terrible.
44:29One flake or two.
44:31It's taken crisp to a different level.
44:33I mean, that looks really good.
44:34Good save.
44:37I've never seen an apprentice challenge go this bad.
44:40I feel like they're going to be happy
44:41with what they've got.
44:44Oh, no!
44:45Megan?
44:46The fish is quite plain.
44:48OK, are you guys still happy to eat
44:51and enjoy the meal or...?
44:53No, they're not happy, Megan.
44:54They're pissed off.
44:55Look at the faces.
44:57Oh, that's horrible.
44:58Jenny, they aren't eating anything.
45:00Now here comes the recriminations, Nutty.
45:03But it's a confederacy of dancers.
45:05They're all stupid.
45:09Oh, here's Alan.
45:10Where is he?
45:11Here's Alan.
45:12Biggie.
45:12He's going to dish it up now, isn't he?
45:14You took on this task, Megan,
45:17on the basis that you are experienced
45:20and done corporate events.
45:22And for that reason, I've got to tell you, Megan,
45:26you are fired.
45:27Fired.
45:28Fired.
45:29Absolutely.
45:30OK, thank you, Lord.
45:31Shut up.
45:31Megan, sit down.
45:32I'm not finished yet.
45:33Oh!
45:33I'm not finished yet.
45:34Oh, spicy, Lord Sugar.
45:36Let's go.
45:37Is he doing a double firing?
45:38Because, Carrington, I'm not satisfied with your explanations.
45:41You're also fired.
45:43Ah!
45:45And you...
45:46No!
45:48Is he going to do a triple cut's wedge?
45:50I don't like people who are negative,
45:52so you're fired also.
45:53Ah!
45:54Oh, three!
45:55Hattie!
45:56Hattie!
45:56He's done the Hattie!
45:58Is that the first time ever?
45:59I don't know, darling.
46:01Hattrick of firing!
46:02Oh, my God!
46:04You know, the producers have probably sat in the back
46:06pulling their hair out.
46:07You know, Alan's gone bloody rogue.
46:09He was only supposed to sack one
46:10and he's got rid of three.
46:11And we're supposed to magic another two back up.
46:14Oh, excuse me, Alan, it was just one firing this week.
46:17Can you just pick one, Alan, please?
46:21Well, we got a taste earlier.
46:23Who's going to last a little bit longer than Ben and George?
46:26Jonathan Ross is back with Handcuffed,
46:29streaming now and continuing Monday at nine.
46:31And here for the drama Wednesday night at nine,
46:34going to the top whatever it takes in A Woman of Substance.
46:38Stay with us.
46:39The Last Leg is next.
46:44Perfect, perfect world.
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