- 4 weeks ago
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đź“š
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00:00So in the modern relationship we have seen we are like constantly in touch with our partner
00:04whether it's through texting messages or something and the problem is even after we are constantly
00:10in touch we always feel we are like kind of insecure or we feel we are abandoned so why
00:15does this dependency increase so much? Look at the markets how they want you to hitch up the markets
00:23don't like you alone you walk into a restaurant all by yourself you might struggle to find a table
00:29the waiter will say no no this one has six chairs this is for the family even the four
00:34well no no no this is for couples you can maybe sit on the ceiling fan
00:42religion society the auntie next door the movies 90% of them are nothing but man chases woman
00:51and then the two have sex after marriage
00:56all these are institutions right no species on the planet is constantly thinking of relationships
01:03only this one does why because
01:08happily you would be walking down the street contemplating something important something
01:13deep something significant even something profound and then that grocery shop the fellow would be
01:19playing the latest romantic hit and you are finished gone
01:23sayyara tutu badlani ya maasam dara seven thou we are finished
01:29Tolstoy Dostovski gone
01:32no that's not your own feeling you are being made to feel that way
01:38no that's not your own feeling you are being made to feel that way
02:11i have a question related to relationships so i've kind of always struggled with relationships
02:17also and i'm i'm sure this question is you know in the mind of a lot of people so in
02:24the modern
02:25relationship we have seen we are like constantly in touch with our partner whether it's through
02:30texting messages or something and calls as well plus we also get constant reassurance all the time
02:36um the problem is um even after we are constantly in touch we always feel we are like kind of
02:43insecure
02:44or we feel we are abandoned so why does this dependency increase so much even when we are
02:51constantly in touch because because man needs god
03:01because the ego can never be all right with itself
03:10because the ego the sense of self is not meant to be what it is
03:21it is meant to be something higher something better bigger and something more complete
03:35that's what we are always searching for completion completion
03:45right
03:51if body and culture and conditioning tell you that biggest thing that ultimate thing
04:05is to be found is to be found in the shape of a person why will you not worship that
04:09person
04:13why
04:17and when it comes to persons
04:21persons
04:21this is where all the institutions unite
04:27they unite to prove to the individual that the that the other can potentially be your god
04:38that the other can potentially fulfill you
04:49you
04:50look at the markets
04:53look at the markets
04:56how they want you to hitch up
05:03huh
05:06the markets don't like you alone no
05:14you walk into a restaurant all by yourself
05:19you might struggle to find a table
05:23the waiter will say no no this one has six chairs
05:26this is for the family even the four one no no no this is for couples
05:33you can maybe sit on the ceiling fan
05:42so the markets are constantly impressing on you that you need
05:46to be at least double
05:48you need to do if you are virtuous especially if you are a woman
06:07and it does not stop at getting double
06:10if you don't beget a son
06:12if you don't beget a son
06:14your soul your jivatma
06:17will keep
06:19wandering desperately
06:21till infinity
06:28the judiciary
06:33you go to them we want to get separated
06:36no no no you take six months you come back
06:39we want to get married okay come over
06:49and if you get separated there is
06:52price to pay
06:54not just in the form of social opprobrium but also
06:59in the form of alimony and many other things
07:07and you won't be called as actually married if
07:11if if the marriage is sexless
07:14the marriage is supposed to be legally consummated only after you have had sex
07:20a sexless marriage is not even considered a marriage legally
07:31religion society the auntie next door
07:38the movies
07:4190 percent of them are nothing but man chases woman
07:49and then the two have sex after marriage
07:58all these are institutions right
08:03folklore
08:07let's say the story starts with once upon a time there was a great king
08:13come on guess the next sentence
08:17come on come on come on
08:21he had the most beautiful queen
08:27it's not that you are crazy after the boy or the man
08:31all these institutions have surrounded you
08:37the songs what are all these songs about please tell me
08:44every single song is about
08:49i got her i got him or he left me
08:58that's what makes you feel all rainbowish
09:06that's all in fact one's own hormones probably play only play only a minor part in this process
09:17it's not that you come to a certain age and it's because of your physical secretions
09:25that you get attracted to the other gender or somebody no
09:29all these institutions they besiege you without your knowledge without your permission
09:45are you getting it
09:49and then you say i'm having relationship trouble
09:55for somebody to have some trouble somebody must exist
10:01we don't even exist we are a mass of conditioning like a lump of clay being shaped by unknown forces
10:10what trouble can we have
10:15what trouble is possible
10:22delhi ncr it has become very difficult for
10:26for single women to get places on rent
10:34so they are cooking up partners
10:39that's a violent use of the phrase these days
10:43with what we are seeing happening in the country
10:47that's not how we must use this right
10:54so what does the landlord want
10:57he wants you to be in relationship
11:01and that's why you enter the relationship
11:03sounds simplistic but that's what is actually happening
11:10right
11:19and you can think of many more such institutions
11:27then you'll realize where is it coming from
11:33no species on the planet is
11:37continuously forever horny as we are
11:44no species on this planet is constantly thinking of relationships
11:49only this one does
11:56why because other species don't have
12:01institutions to constantly impress on them that they need to get married or pregnant
12:08so they are better off
12:13hmm
12:19in kabir he put it very
12:25in his own way
12:31he says look at the dog
12:36it runs after the female
12:39only in the season
12:43only in the heat otherwise the dog has nothing to do with the bitch
12:47you
12:55kami kutta teena rose anatar rahe udas
12:57udas means indifferent
13:02for three days
13:04it experiences the sexual urge otherwise nothing
13:10but man kami nar kutta sada chha ritu bara maas
13:1412 months of the year this species of ours is holding hands
13:20please come please come please do this please do that
13:27and then we invent stories folklore
13:31idiom
13:34god sent us down in pairs
13:39so we keep holding hands all the time
13:53it is very very unnatural the way we behave
13:59but this unnatural behavior has been institutionalized
14:05you are seeing it all around yourself so you think it is normal it is not it might be normal
14:11but it is not natural
14:21you two people constantly sleeping on the same bed same room
14:26what is going on
14:28and if you are strictly middle class then sharing the same commode
14:34what is going on
14:36why
14:44but you see this happening and therefore when you don't find it in your life you feel something is missing
14:49that's all
14:50otherwise as a young person
14:52there are a thousand better things to do than run after a man or a woman
15:05what are all those great books for what are the great movies for
15:10and by great movies i do not mean running around the tree types
15:17what are all these great places on the planet for
15:27or the purpose of human birth is to devote 70 percent of your energy on one special someone
15:35my god this fellow is my god or my goddess whatever
15:43is i can that possibly be the purpose of of this this this body this human birth please tell me
15:51does it sound sensible
15:59what can possibly be so special about one ordinary individual that you are constantly carrying that
16:08one individual in your mind and on your lap please tell me please you're special someone
16:19is he or she really special
16:26and if not then what what are you doing
16:30where's some breathing space
16:39but even traveling alone is taken as infidelity
16:47what you're going to thailand all by yourself
16:54yes all by myself and to thailand
17:00happily you would be walking down the street contemplating something important something
17:05deep something significant even something profound
17:10and then that grocery shop the fellow would be playing
17:14the latest romantic hit
17:18and you are finished gone
17:31you are with the idiot you are with crime and punishment
17:37you are thinking of the meaning of life
17:42and the institution interrupted
17:47that radio set that fm station is an institution
17:51and it's it's conceived
17:55to enslave you
17:58and you won't even realize you have been colonized in a split second
18:08anakarinina gone
18:10some worthless nepo kid
18:14has suddenly without permission entered your brain
18:31and then you think of that yes your own feeling
18:35no that's not your own feeling
18:38you are being made to feel that way
18:51and the institutions purposefully put up a huge show of it
18:57look at the huge pandals
19:05look at the pre-wedding photo shoots
19:08all happening in the open
19:10and all the single ones looking wistfully and drooling
19:21that too is an institution
19:25especially
19:28manufactured tailor-made
19:31to dominate you
19:41and all of this
19:45totally excludes love
19:48there can be no love in something institutionalized
19:53there can be no love in something forbidden
20:02there can be no love in something
20:05that's become the practice
20:13and therefore our lives
20:15our relationships are so loveless
20:28next time you look at your Mr. Special
20:30ask
20:30what's special about
20:36specimen
20:39for that matter
20:40what's special about this one
20:41yeah
20:52I'm not asking you to be contemptuous of the other
20:55I'm asking you to spare the other
21:00when you take someone as your god
21:03that's violence
21:08nobody can fulfill your desires
21:12not even god
21:14how can that mere mortal
21:19play god for you
21:25and that's why there is
21:28so much stress
21:30in relationship
21:31always
21:36because you are made to pay a price
21:40without getting fulfillment of desire in exchange
21:44the price would certainly be paid
21:48but the returns
21:50would not be had
21:55therefore there is frustration
21:57and a lot of bickering and complaints
22:01and we turn them into jokes
22:02right husband-wife jokes
22:05never thought why
22:08why there is so much push and pull
22:13that's because the very foundation
22:15is loveless
22:17it's an institutionalized foundation
22:29but we see this
22:39one clear example of institutionalization
22:43metros
22:45girls and boys in class 5, 6, 7
22:50they are complaining of depression because they don't have a
22:54soulmate
23:01my buddy has been going around with this girl
23:04and
23:05you know
23:07I have just nobody
23:12I'm depressed mama
23:13take me to the psychiatrist
23:15class 5
23:17now that was not happening
23:19even till three decades back
23:23has biology changed?
23:25not really
23:29the institution
23:31has changed
23:33what was
23:34what was mandated to happen in class 10
23:38is now mandated to happen in class 6
23:41so it starts happening in class 6
23:44tomorrow if it is mandated to happen in class 2
23:48it will start happening even in class 2
23:53your feelings are not your feelings
23:57your feelings are the radio's feelings
23:59your feelings are the screen's feelings
24:03your feelings are uncle's and auntie's feelings
24:05and the priest's feelings
24:10that's where your feelings come from
24:14so don't support your feelings too much
24:17examine them
24:21don't be swept away
24:25the flow is not even hormonal
24:27the flow is institutional
24:37I know it's disappointing
24:39but
24:40just for a few more minutes
24:41fine
24:42yeah
24:44Acharya ji
24:44just to add to it
24:46I mean
24:46it's kind of a
24:47honest reflection only
24:50the first book that I read
24:52that I read
24:52of yours
24:53was
24:54Preem Seekhna Padta Hai
24:57so
24:58it was very
25:00I mean
25:01it was a very
25:03surprising or I can say
25:05a very different situation
25:06to read the title of the book itself
25:08because
25:08we were taught
25:09we are like
25:10we know love
25:12but the moment I read your book
25:14and that's when I discovered
25:15I don't know it
25:15and I'm still discovering
25:17I'm still learning from it
25:19the book and from your teachings
25:21so thank you so much Acharya ji
25:23welcome
25:26yeah so namaste Acharya ji
25:28so I have a direct follow-up
25:30like you said that it's important to examine
25:33what your feelings are
25:35so I have tried this
25:37traveling alone and staying
25:39and there
25:40that was a desert over there
25:41and I had traveled there
25:42I stayed there alone all by myself
25:45and mostly people were there in pairs
25:48and they said
25:49like they were looking at me like
25:51who's this weirdo
25:52like what is he doing here alone
25:54and at that moment superficially
25:57I could say it to them
25:58that what is there in this
26:00it's
26:00it's all fine
26:01but even I was
26:03I don't know if it is conditioned
26:05or it was from within that
26:08there should be someone to share your happiness with
26:11or something like
26:12what am I doing alone here
26:14that is what it was there
26:15so
26:16is it conditioning or
26:18like
26:21my question is like
26:22I understand
26:23there must be someone
26:24let's say
26:25to share happiness with
26:27right
26:28so why must that
26:30someone have a uterus
26:35that you impose
26:38as an inviolable condition
26:40right
26:43why can't that someone
26:45be an elderly man
26:46of 80
26:49ever thought of that
26:50whenever you say
26:51you know
26:52but there must be someone
26:53in life to share
26:54joys and sorrows with
26:56why must that someone
26:58have testicles
27:00or a uterus
27:02so it's not about someone
27:05using language to conceal something
27:12why can't that someone be
27:15a friend your own gender
27:18or why can't that someone be somebody
27:21faceless
27:22anonymous
27:24why does that someone
27:26have to have a body available to you
27:30please tell me
27:34let's say that someone is available
27:36even as a woman
27:38sitting in south africa
27:40to you that won't suffice
27:42right
27:42because
27:44just
27:45the existence of someone won't suffice
27:47that someone must be available to be touched
27:49and ultimately penetrated
27:54so that's the intention
27:58why say that there is a feeling
28:00to share things with someone
28:03share your gold with someone
28:08why share only those mushy feelings
28:13why not
28:15share half your salary with someone
28:21that too anonymously
28:23if sharing it
28:25is the concern
28:27if the entire aim
28:29is to just share
28:30come on share
28:33share
28:36the real intention is
28:39is
28:40okay
28:50all
28:51all this is
28:53verbal
28:55romantic
28:56camouflage
28:58someone special
29:00someone to
29:01share this
29:02other things
29:04what else
29:05God sent us down
29:07soulmate
29:09what else
29:23I would like to add something
29:25like
29:26if
29:26we travel with
29:27a group of friends
29:28let's say just male friends
29:30then this feeling of loneliness
29:31and all
29:32it's not there
29:33so
29:34is it mandatory
29:35to like
29:35have someone
29:36and they say that
29:37with male friends
29:38you can't
29:38if
29:40you need
29:41even male friends
29:43that indicates
29:45the same
29:46kind of artificial void
29:51it's the same thing
29:52in fact
29:54most of
29:55of these youngsters
29:56the males
29:57who travel together
29:58are traveling together
30:00as males
30:02only because
30:03they don't have
30:04females
30:08the day
30:09one of them
30:11happens to
30:12strike gold
30:14it disappears
30:16immediately
30:18and that
30:19makes the
30:20remaining
30:20four or five
30:21even more desperate
30:28it's the same
30:29thing
30:29it's the same
30:30thing
30:32being at
30:34peace
30:34with yourself
30:35is something
30:36this planet
30:37needs
30:37desperately
30:38today
30:40I'm not
30:41asking you
30:41to avoid
30:42community
30:42I'm not
30:43asking you
30:44to avoid
30:44companionship
30:47but if that
30:48companionship
30:49is
30:50coming
30:53from
30:54an unknown
30:55void
30:58it is
30:59destructive
31:01no
31:02friend
31:03no
31:04boyfriend
31:05no
31:05girlfriend
31:06can
31:06fulfill
31:07it
31:09you'll
31:10keep
31:10throwing
31:11more
31:11and
31:11more
31:12into
31:12the
31:12void
31:14and
31:15the
31:15void
31:16is
31:16bottomless
31:19you'll
31:20say
31:20I have
31:21five
31:22male
31:22friends
31:22five
31:23girlfriends
31:23five
31:24cars
31:25five
31:25jobs
31:27whatever
31:28five
31:28is
31:29possible
31:30and
31:31you'll
31:31find
31:32you're
31:32still
31:32hollow
31:33within
31:36from
31:37that
31:37hollowness
31:38nothing
31:39is
31:39sacred
31:42company
31:43can
31:43be
31:43a
31:43great
31:43thing
31:44provided
31:44you're
31:45not
31:45using
31:45the
31:46other
31:46to
31:47treat
31:48your
31:48loneliness
31:52right
31:52when
31:53you
31:53are
31:54when
31:54you
31:55are
31:55with
31:55the
31:55other
31:57but
31:58would
31:58be
31:59equally
31:59joyful
31:59even
32:00without
32:00the
32:00other
32:04then
32:04being
32:05with
32:05the
32:05other
32:08has
32:08a
32:09certain
32:09cleanliness
32:10to it
32:13a
32:13certain
32:14innocence
32:14to it
32:15otherwise
32:16there is
32:16just
32:17violence
32:27thanks
32:31namaste
32:32everyone
32:32my name
32:33is
32:33arunima
32:34i'm
32:34from
32:35jammu
32:35and
32:35kashmir
32:35and
32:36i'm
32:36listening
32:37to
32:37acharaj
32:38for
32:38the
32:38past
32:39two
32:39and
32:39a
32:39half
32:39years
32:40as
32:40a
32:40regular
32:41gita
32:41students
32:41i'm
32:42working
32:42as
32:42a
32:43manager
32:43in
32:44public
32:44sector
32:44insurance
32:45company
32:45acharaj
32:47sessions
32:47they
32:48are
32:49life
32:50changing
32:50sessions
32:50and
32:51especially
32:52for a
32:52woman
32:52i would
32:53recommend
32:54that
32:55a
32:56girl
32:56starting
32:57acharaj
32:58teachings
32:58they
32:59are
32:59they
33:00are
33:00life
33:00giving
33:01and
33:01a
33:02boon
33:03for
33:04a
33:04girl
33:04to
33:04be
33:05got
33:06at
33:06the
33:06very
33:06initial
33:07stages
33:07when
33:08a
33:08girl
33:08has
33:09to
33:09take
33:09some
33:09initial
33:10decisions
33:11some
33:11responsible
33:12decisions
33:12of
33:13life
33:13and
33:13the
33:13two
33:14being
33:14one
33:15the
33:16choosing
33:17of
33:17a
33:17life
33:17partner
33:18or
33:18the
33:18marriage
33:18and
33:19the
33:19second
33:19the
33:20job
33:21or
33:21the
33:21whatever
33:22the
33:23work
33:23we
33:23are
33:23doing
33:24or
33:24I
33:25can
33:25say
33:26in
33:26an
33:26actual
33:26the
33:27clarity
33:27clarity
33:28is
33:28needed
33:29for
33:29every
33:29individual
33:30but
33:30for
33:30females
33:31in
33:32today's
33:33era
33:33especially
33:35in
33:35India
33:35women
33:37are
33:37women
33:39have
33:39undergone
33:40lot of
33:40bondages
33:40and
33:41at
33:41present
33:41are
33:42also
33:42undergoing
33:42lot
33:42of
33:43bondages
33:43everywhere
33:44from
33:44every
33:45nook
33:45and
33:45corner
33:45we
33:46see
33:46we
33:46hear
33:47about
33:48the
33:48things
33:49the
33:50atrocities
33:51being
33:53witnessed
33:54by the
33:54women
33:55so
33:55Acharaji
33:55sessions
33:56I would
33:57say
33:57that
33:57these
33:58sessions
33:58I am
33:58a live
33:59example
33:59of
34:00getting
34:01very much
34:03benefited
34:03from
34:04these
34:04sessions
34:05I am
34:05a single
34:06woman
34:06and
34:07Acharaji
34:08sessions
34:08brought
34:09clarity
34:09within
34:10myself
34:11and
34:12that
34:12helped
34:13me
34:13that
34:13enabled
34:14me
34:14to
34:14look
34:14within
34:15myself
34:15and
34:16take
34:17decisions
34:18that
34:18more
34:20even
34:20at
34:20my
34:21personal
34:21level
34:21as
34:22well
34:22as
34:22at
34:23the
34:23professional
34:23level
34:24at
34:25first
34:25before
34:26prior
34:26to
34:26listening
34:27to
34:27Acharaji
34:27I
34:28used
34:28to
34:28be
34:28very
34:29emotional
34:29and
34:30at
34:30times
34:30I
34:31used
34:31to
34:31burst
34:32out
34:32at
34:33the
34:33things
34:33but
34:33these
34:34sessions
34:35they
34:35brought
34:35out
34:35clarity
34:36and
34:37they
34:37brought
34:38out
34:38patience
34:39and
34:39they
34:40helped
34:41me
34:41to
34:41visualize
34:41the
34:42situation
34:43thanks
34:43PAF
34:44thanks
34:45Acharaji
34:45and I
34:46recommend
34:46everybody
34:47to
34:47come
34:47forward
34:48and
34:48join
34:48Geeta
34:49sessions
34:49wholeheartedly
34:50thank you
34:51to
34:52go
34:52a
34:52a
34:52a
34:52a
34:53a
34:53a
34:54a
35:01a
35:02a
35:02a
35:03a
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