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From kidnapping to disease-spreading, South Park's most infamous resident knows how to push everyone's buttons! Join us as we count down our picks for the most outrageous moments when Eric Cartman made his "friends" absolutely furious! Our countdown includes stealing KFC skin, refusing organ donations, and turning gingers into a master race. Would YOU be Cartman's friend?
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00:00Listen to this song I just wrote. It's called, I Hate You Guys.
00:03I hate you guys?
00:05Welcome to WatchMojo.
00:07And today, we're looking at the funniest instances
00:09where Eric Cartman royally pissed off his so-called friends on South Park.
00:15Cartman, you ate the skin off of every piece of chicken!
00:17Well, I saved you all the chicken part.
00:20Number 10. Refusing to give Kyle a kidney.
00:24What's going on, guys?
00:25Cartman, we have to ask you a question. A very serious question.
00:28Okay. Kyle's in trouble, Cartman.
00:30I can see him getting worse right before my eyes.
00:32There might be a way that you can save his life.
00:35Kyle's life depends on getting a kidney transplant.
00:37And guess who's the only match in South Park?
00:40Not only does Cartman refuse, but he rubs it in Kyle's sickly face.
00:45Cartman isn't completely heartless, though.
00:47He'll gladly give Kyle one of his kidneys.
00:49In exchange for a mere $10 million.
00:52In his fragile condition, Kyle can't summon the strength to call out Cartman.
00:57Although Stan certainly does.
00:58Stan tells Cartman that he's definitely going to hell.
01:01A fate he's willing to accept to keep his body preserved.
01:05While Kyle's fails on him.
01:07No way!
01:08Kidney blocker 2000?
01:09What, what, what, what?
01:11Oh, Stan and Butters.
01:12Trying to take my kidney, are you?
01:14You suck, Cartman.
01:14Maybe so, but at least I was smart enough to wear a kidney blocker 2000.
01:17God damn it, don't you care that Kyle's gonna die?
01:19I do. I do care.
01:20Look how much.
01:22Look.
01:22Look how much I care.
01:23With some help, Stan manages to trick Cartman into donating his kidney.
01:28It's a testament to what good friends Stan and Kyle are.
01:31And what a crappy friend Cartman is.
01:34Give it back right now or there's gonna be hell to pay.
01:36Right or right here.
01:40And you better hope to God it still works just like it did before.
01:43Number 9.
01:44Channeling Glenn Beck.
01:46These are the morning announcements.
01:47And I am Eric Cartman.
01:49All forms for the school book drive must be handed in to Mr. Davis in the library by the end
01:54of the school day today.
01:55Doesn't seem like they gave us a lot of notice on that.
01:57Okay.
01:58Oh, well.
01:59Taking over the morning announcements, Cartman uses his new platform to criticize the school
02:04and make baseless accusations about Wendy, the student body president.
02:08At first, Cartman's commentary just seems like a nuisance that nobody will take seriously.
02:14When somebody with the microphone starts spewing outrage, though, many will take the bait.
02:20Gullible students like Butters buy into Cartman's claims that Wendy is a smurf-killing socialist.
02:25Kyle and Stan naturally know that Cartman is full of it.
02:29The latter infuriated to see his girlfriend's name dragged through the mud.
02:33What the hell do you think you're doing?
02:35A book signing.
02:35I looked through your stupid book.
02:37It's 540 pages of ripping on Wendy.
02:39Wendy, meanwhile, manages to keep her head held high.
02:42She turns the tables on Cartman, using his words against him.
02:45Cartman winds up as the new president, with everyone now pinning their problems on him.
02:50Wait, hold on.
02:51Can we take a break?
02:52No, it's okay.
02:53It's all out in the open now.
02:54I wouldn't have had to kill the Smurfs if they would have simply moved on.
02:57But you gave them the will to stay.
02:59And I guess you can't be blamed for that.
03:02What?
03:03Number 8.
03:05Spreading Ginger Prejudice.
03:07Oh, sick.
03:08Gross.
03:09Ginger kids are born with a disease which causes very light skin, red hair, and freckles.
03:15Ah, nasty.
03:16Yuck.
03:17Cartman is sexist, racist, and anti-Semitic.
03:20You can also add ginger-phobic to the list.
03:23In his latest crusade against a group of people, Cartman targets kids with red hair and freckles.
03:29Kyle doesn't quite meet the criteria, but Cartman still labels him as a daywalker.
03:33With more kids buying into his hate speech, his friends give Cartman a makeover, tricking
03:38him into thinking he's Ginger.
03:45Poopsikins?
03:49Sweetie, what is...
03:51I'm Ginger!
03:53Oh my god, Eric!
03:54Naturally, Cartman learns the wrong lesson.
03:57Rather than emerge as a more accepting person, Cartman attempts to turn Gingers into a master
04:02race.
04:03The first step is taking out all the non-Gingers who shunned him, even though he was the one
04:09who initially ignited the bias against Gingers.
04:12Learning the truth, Cartman decides against exterminating his friends, saving his own skin.
04:21You are such a manipulative asshole, Cartman.
04:24Yes, but I'm not going to die.
04:26Number 7.
04:27His Christian Rock Band.
04:29That's it.
04:30Inspiration, you guys.
04:31Don't you see?
04:32See what?
04:33Our band should play Christian rock.
04:37Christian rock?
04:38Think about it.
04:39It's the easiest, crappiest music in the world, right?
04:41If we just play songs about how much we love Jesus, all the Christians will buy our crap.
04:45Wanting to fast-track his way to a platinum record, Cartman suggests exploiting religious
04:50people who listen to Christian rock.
04:52Stan, Kyle, and Kenny find his idea asinine, kicking him out of the band.
04:57Cartman thus starts a new band with Butters and Tolkien, proving his theory correct.
05:02Christian rock leads to quick fame and fortune, but not a platinum record, as Cartman assumed.
05:07Realizing he can never win his bet with Kyle, Cartman alienates his audience.
05:11More bridges are burned as Tolkien gives him a deserved beatdown.
05:23Guess he got what he deserved.
05:25The others aren't eager to help Cartman, feeling that karma caught up to him.
05:29The mild-mannered Butters doesn't kick Eric while he's down, but he does fart on him.
05:34Everyone has forsaken Cartman, and for good reason.
05:37Oh, please don't take the Lord's name in vain.
05:39Who cares?
05:40I can never win my bet because you stupid assholes don't give out platinum albums.
05:43But you spread the word of the Lord.
05:45You brought faith in Jesus.
05:46Number six.
05:47Barring friends from his theme park.
05:49So, how are things going at Cartman's theme park?
05:51Dude, just forget about it.
05:53We can't let him get to us or he wins.
05:54I guess you're right.
05:55Hey, everybody.
05:56Check out the all-new Cartman Land.
05:58It's our grand opening.
06:00Cartman Land has over 100 fabulous rides,
06:02six roller coasters, and tons of great surprises.
06:05And the best part is, you can't come.
06:08Every kid dreams of having their own amusement park.
06:11Cartman makes it a reality when he inherits one million dollars.
06:14Kyle has a crisis of faith,
06:16questioning how God could allow Cartman, of all people,
06:19to suddenly gain everything he ever wanted.
06:21Adding salt to the hemorrhoid,
06:23Cartman bans everyone else from his park,
06:26taking out ads to specifically heckle Stan and Kyle.
06:29Security!
06:30It is stupid, Cartman.
06:31You made Kyle lose his faith in God, you fat asshole.
06:33Get him out of here.
06:34Move along, sir.
06:36Ow!
06:37This isn't over, Cartman!
06:38Ugh.
06:39Even after Cartman starts letting others in for financial reasons,
06:43Stan remains persona non grata,
06:45while Kyle just gives up on life.
06:48We've seen Cartman enrage Kyle,
06:50but this is one instance where he broke him.
06:52At least, almost.
06:54Once Cartman has his dream taken away,
06:56Kyle's will to live is restored,
06:59finding that God acts in mysterious ways.
07:02Cartman is totally miserable,
07:04even more miserable than he was before
07:05because he's had his dream and lost it.
07:07It's not fair!
07:08It's not fair!
07:09I want to die!
07:10I want to die!
07:14You are up there!
07:16Number five is Casa Bonita Caper.
07:20Casa Bonita!
07:21Casa Bonita!
07:22Food and fun and a festive atmosphere!
07:24Casa Bonita!
07:25Who said I'm inviting you?
07:28Your mom said you could take three friends.
07:31Yes, three friends.
07:32You're not my friend.
07:33Cartman and Kyle have been on many misadventures together.
07:37But does that make them friends?
07:39Kyle doesn't think so.
07:40Hence why Cartman isn't invited to his birthday party at Casa Bonita.
07:44After repeatedly ripping into Kyle,
07:46Cartman convinces him to at least make him an alternative guest
07:50if Butters is a no-show.
07:52Cartman sees to it that Butters is M.I.A.
07:54Although this entails essentially kidnapping him for a week.
07:58Just stay down here until you hear word from me.
08:00And pray, Butters.
08:02Pray for all mankind.
08:07Okay.
08:08Okay.
08:09The oblivious Butters eventually figures out the truth,
08:12leading to Cartman's downfall.
08:14That doesn't stop Cartman from speedrunning through Casa Bonita
08:17before being apprehended.
08:19Cartman not only earns a week in juvenile hall,
08:22but he also loses all of his friends in the process.
08:25It's a small price to pay in Cartman's eyes.
08:28Well, kid, you made an entire town panic.
08:31You lost all your friends.
08:32And now you're going to juvenile hall for a week.
08:35Was it worth it?
08:38Totally.
08:39Number four.
08:41Exposing them to his mature friends.
08:44You see, this is just what I've been talking about.
08:46I can't even relate to you guys anymore because you're too immature.
08:49What?
08:49I've got to start hanging out with friends that are a little more intelligent
08:51and understand politics and stuff.
08:53Convinced that he's outgrown his friends,
08:56Cartman seeks to make some more mature ones.
08:59His childhood chums aren't exactly sad to see him go.
09:02Cartman finds an older group of men to hang out with,
09:05missing the red flags that they are all predators.
09:07As Cartman gloats about falling in with a more mature group,
09:12an annoyed Stan and Kyle decide to crash a club meeting.
09:15The other boys of South Park are there as well, per Cartman's invite.
09:18Well, I guess nowadays they allow any of those smokes in the nambler.
09:21All at once, the boys realize that these men don't merely want to be friends,
09:26blaming Cartman for their predicaments.
09:28He elects Butters to take the fall,
09:30although it's Mr. McCormick who pays the price for Cartman's ignorance.
09:34Cartman apologizes for a change.
09:36Chet learns little.
09:38And now do you still think that you need to hang out with older, mature friends?
09:41Nah, I guess you guys will blossom into maturity someday.
09:43Just don't take too long.
09:45Number three.
09:46Going Alex the Large on his mates.
09:49Oh, what are you, the boss now?
09:50No, but we are all equals.
09:52From now on, we vote.
09:53Who wants to go with my plan?
09:59Sounds awesome.
10:00Let's do it.
10:00To the grocery store.
10:02Eric Cartman is anything but a super friend.
10:05Assembling a team of young crime fighters,
10:07Cartman inevitably crashes with his teammates.
10:10In more ways than one.
10:12More interested in glory,
10:13Cartman seeks to discredit the competition while his fellow heroes do some good.
10:18Cartman is outvoted, although he asserts that his team isn't a democracy.
10:22Taking inspiration from a clockwork orange,
10:25Cartman beats up Mosquito,
10:26who's actually Clyde and poor Mintberry Crunch.
10:39Cartman wins this round,
10:40but it isn't long until he's kicked out of his own club.
10:43That's what he gets for neglecting the friends in the group's name.
10:47You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
10:51Of course, we'd argue that Cartman was always a villain.
10:54You don't keep anything.
10:55This is my basement and I'll tell my mom on you guys.
10:58We've already discussed this with her.
10:59Mrs. Cartman?
11:00Yes, Mysterion?
11:02Please escort the coon out of our secret base.
11:04Eric, I talked to you about beating up your friends, didn't I?
11:07Number two.
11:08Purposely infecting Kyle.
11:10Well, did Elton John sing a song for you?
11:13No, as a matter of fact, Jimmy Buffett came instead.
11:17When a misguided blood transfusion leaves Cartman HIV positive,
11:22Kyle knows that he should feel bad for him.
11:24He just can't contain his laughter, however.
11:27Cartman decides to wipe that smirk off Kyle's face
11:29by giving him a taste of his own...
11:31well, medicine isn't the right word.
11:35When Kyle finds that he has HIV,
11:37he knows exactly who to blame.
11:39What? HIV?
11:41It took us a long time to narrow it down,
11:43but there is no doubt.
11:44No, that's impossible.
11:46We've seen Kyle pissed at Cartman before.
11:48We've even seen him beat Cartman up.
11:50But this is on a whole new level.
11:52Kyle wants retribution.
11:54Going on a rampage until Cartman convinces him
11:57that there's a cure,
11:58with some help from Magic Johnson,
12:00Cartman does manage to cure them
12:02through the miracle of capitalism.
12:04That doesn't mean all is forgiven.
12:06Kyle's still plenty peeved.
12:08Well, I tell you this, Kyle,
12:09I'm never getting my tonsils out again.
12:13I'm still breaking your Xbox.
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12:31Number 1.
12:32Eating the skin off KFC.
12:35Oh my God, that smells good.
12:44Cartman treats his friends horribly on a weekly basis.
12:48Yet they still hang out with him.
12:49What could he possibly do to make them say,
12:52enough is enough?
12:53You're dead to us.
12:55The South Park writers had a hard time figuring that out
12:57during this episode's production.
12:59They knew the episode would revolve around the boys
13:01pretending that Cartman doesn't exist.
13:03But what would cause them to shun him?
13:06At the 11th hour,
13:07the staff was chowing down on KFC
13:09when someone noted how obnoxious it would be
13:11if somebody ate all the skin,
13:14leaving just the chicken.
13:15Well, I saved you all the chicken part.
13:17The skin's the best part.
13:19Well, I gotta go home, guys.
13:20I'm gonna sit on the toilet and read comic books.
13:22See you at the bus stop tomorrow.
13:23It sounded like something Eric Cartman would do,
13:25giving them the perfect opening
13:27where the boys realize
13:28they don't need to put up with this crap anymore.
13:31Like they couldn't see or hear me.
13:34It's almost as if I were...
13:38dead.
13:40No.
13:41No, I can't be dead.
13:42I can't be dead!
13:44Would you be Cartman's friend?
13:46Tell us why or why not in the comments.
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