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Coronation Street 3rd March 2026 (Full Episode)

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Transcript
00:27It's only just called six.
00:29Yeah, tell her they're not me.
00:31She's been gristling since I changed her.
00:33Is she hungry?
00:35I don't know.
00:36She said not.
00:38We just...
00:39What am I supposed to do?
00:41Tell her a joke or just jiggle her up and down while I make a coffee.
00:44No, you jiggle her while coughing.
00:47Here, pass it to me.
00:49Oh, yeah.
00:51Bye-bye.
00:53Since you're the only actual mother.
00:56Hey.
00:57Is this our new morning routine for the next few weeks then?
01:00Do you want a coffee?
01:01Yeah, might as well now.
01:03Hi.
01:04Morning.
01:05Oh, who's calling at this time?
01:11If it's David Platt, tell him he's taking his own life in his hands.
01:18I was going to pop round later but I saw your lights on and I thought you could do with
01:22this.
01:22Not another one.
01:24No.
01:25Oh.
01:26That was very kind of you.
01:27I thank you.
01:28Oh, well, you know what they say.
01:29He takes a village and all that.
01:31Will all you good villagers please try and hold the fort while I go and maybe have a wash?
01:36Get the spittle out of my hair.
01:40Bye-bye.
01:42Who is this?
01:46Knock, knock.
01:47Morning, campers.
01:49I hope you've had your beauty sleep.
01:51Ready for visiting day.
01:53What's happened?
01:55Was this Paula?
01:57Officer, I need help.
01:59No, don't get them involved.
02:00But you're hurt.
02:02Yeah.
02:02And I'll be hurt a whole lot worse if Paula gets wind.
02:04Look, I can't have anything stopping me seeing my kids, alright?
02:07So just cover for me.
02:12What is it, Webster?
02:13You should be at breakfast.
02:15Yeah.
02:16Yeah, I'm sorry, Officer.
02:19It was a false alarm.
02:21I came over all dizzy but I feel fine now.
02:26You don't just get to summon us every time you have a funny turn.
02:28Don't you think we've got enough to do?
02:30It's prison.
02:31Not Downton Abbey.
02:48Blimey.
02:50What is this depressing dirge you've got on?
02:53We're an undertaker's.
02:54What do you want?
02:54Fairground music.
02:58Ugh.
02:59I've got one of me migraines coming.
03:02Migraines.
03:03Like my grandmother used to say.
03:04Nobody had migraines when they were hiding from a bomb in an air raid shelter.
03:08Take an aspirin.
03:09Ugh.
03:09But you so fired up.
03:11Yeah, what are you doing up and about so early?
03:14Hang on.
03:16I recognise that face.
03:18What have you done?
03:19I have reported that grifter, Annie.
03:22Chrissie!
03:23Those reviews are defamation.
03:25We don't actually notice her that posted them.
03:27Oh, for goodness sake.
03:29Twelve one-star reviews.
03:31One day after she's reported him.
03:33Honestly.
03:36Hi.
03:37You see?
03:38They're taking it seriously.
03:40Yes.
03:41Yes, we are.
03:42Mr Shuttleworth.
03:44Can you come down the station?
03:46Erm.
03:46Oh, no.
03:47No.
03:47I've already reported to your desk sergeant what that woman's done.
03:50Can you not take the statements here?
03:52I'm talking to Mr Shuttleworth.
03:54This is about the fraud allegation made against you by Mrs Annie King.
03:58We need to ask you some questions.
04:03It's even better with that cheap foundation.
04:06You still look like you're part of Olympic boxing team.
04:10What are you going to tell your children?
04:12Walked into a cupboard door.
04:14Yeah.
04:14Well, it must have been a cupboard door with a nasty temper.
04:17Yeah, well, go on.
04:18I'll be fine.
04:20Oh!
04:21I'm so excited to see you!
04:25What happened to your face?
04:28I walked into a cupboard door, didn't I?
04:30Same cupboard door we had at the old house.
04:34Why don't you go and get your mum and her a couple of coffees?
04:37And what have you three in one?
04:40Come on.
04:42You got them well-trained?
04:44Oh, yeah, run a tight ship.
04:45I tried to.
04:48What happened?
04:50Oh, I, um...
04:52got into a bit of a fight with a right head case.
04:54Able, it could have been worse.
04:56I think they're a bit old to be falling for the cupboard door routine,
04:59especially Brody.
05:00Yeah, I gathered.
05:02Yeah, look, I'll come clean.
05:04Tell them that I got into a bit of a scrap.
05:05You're right.
05:06They deserve better than to be lied to.
05:12I said Victoria Street, not Coronation Street.
05:15I'm already late for a meeting.
05:16No, no, I'm on my way over now.
05:19Wow.
05:21You and Lisa work fast.
05:22New addition to the family.
05:23Somebody left it on the doorstep yesterday.
05:25Oh.
05:27You could even say I mind your own business.
05:31Right, where's this tax?
05:32Ah!
05:33Ah!
05:34Jordy!
05:36Sorry, I can't stop.
05:37I've got to get to work.
05:42You look well.
05:44I'm not sure what they say.
05:45These places are like hotels.
05:47Well, I won't be giving them any stars on TripAdvisor,
05:50I'll tell you that for now.
05:52But I've got quite pally with a few of the girls in here.
05:56Well, one of them.
05:58And you know me?
06:01I like to make the best of things.
06:04That's the trouble though, isn't it?
06:07Turns out I don't know you that well at all.
06:10Oh, Carl.
06:12I know this has been a shock.
06:14Look, I'm really sorry to ask again,
06:17but I need more money.
06:21Did what I give you last time, not...
06:23Paid off my credit card debts.
06:25Interest was ridiculous, so...
06:29I wouldn't ask if it wasn't desperate.
06:32Please?
06:37Well...
06:38I suppose I could set up a...
06:42thingy.
06:44What do you call it?
06:45A monthly payment?
06:46Direct debit.
06:47Yeah, that's the one.
06:50Yeah.
06:50You know, so you've got something regular coming in.
06:55Can we help you?
06:57I just wanted a word with Debbie, if that's alright with you.
07:01You alright?
07:02Yeah.
07:04I'd love to chat, Sal, but this is my visiting time with Carl.
07:08I'm just worried about Lou.
07:10You know, the banks you've got.
07:12Oh, yeah, with a cupboard.
07:14Keep sht up.
07:15Do the guards know about that?
07:17No, they don't.
07:19And don't you do how daft like tell them, neither?
07:22Surely they should know.
07:24Have you watched an episode of Bad Girls?
07:26Because that's what it's like in here, Sal.
07:29Shhh.
07:36Right.
07:39So...
07:40And what should we say?
07:44Well, I'm sure it'll all get ironed out at the police station.
07:47I mean, his entire persona radiates innocence.
07:50Yeah, but if they've got him down as some smooth-talking con man,
07:53he's hardly going to go around twirling his moustache, is he?
07:58I feel like a right plank the best book to him yesterday.
08:01Look, you're under a lot of strain, but we still are.
08:05It's Bennett.
08:06He's in the back. I'll give him a shout.
08:07Oh, I need to head back to my fuchsias.
08:09I'll see you later, Glenda. Keep the faith.
08:11Yeah, bye, love, and thank you.
08:13See you, Mary.
08:16Look, just say you were upset after hearing about Jim.
08:21Well, play the dead dad card.
08:22Well, you've got to know when to hold him.
08:24Know when to fold him.
08:27Ben, listen, mate, I'm so sorry about it.
08:30Seriously. Steve, it's all right, mate.
08:32You just heard about your da. I've been there.
08:35Although I was 11, so it's not exactly the same thing.
08:38You've got to spend a lot more time with him, didn't you?
08:41It's still hard there, but anyway.
08:44Have a drink with me. We'll say no more about it.
08:46I can't work it.
08:48Well, why don't we come in later?
08:50Smoke the peace pipe.
08:51Yeah, cool.
08:52And listen, don't give another thought, all right?
08:55Cheers, Ben.
08:58See, that wasn't so hard, was it?
09:00Hey?
09:02You'll be good, OK?
09:04Come on, yeah.
09:05Bless me off.
09:07We've still got a few more minutes yet.
09:08I know, I've just got some things to do, so.
09:11Right, well, it's lovely to see you.
09:13You'll come back again, won't you? Soon.
09:16Yeah.
09:18Here, you take care, all right?
09:20You're the one who needs to take care.
09:23Hey, I'm sorry to bug you again.
09:25What is it now?
09:27Was he asking for money?
09:29Because I couldn't help Baba hearing.
09:31Well, I don't think that's any of your beeswax, do you?
09:35And, you know, he is my son.
09:38And if you're, erm...
09:41Rosie and Sophie.
09:42Yes.
09:43Yes, Rosie and Sophie.
09:46Won't you do the same if they needed it?
09:48They wouldn't ask.
09:49Because, like him, they're adults and they're perfectly capable of earning their own money.
09:55Well, I've got a lot of making up to do, haven't I?
09:58Where he's concerned.
10:00And he comes to visit me, don't he?
10:02I'm not surprised, Debbie, seeing as you pay him to do it.
10:06I don't have to explain myself to you.
10:08You don't know what I'm going through, do you?
10:11Eh?
10:11So, keep your sticky beak out.
10:15Capisce?
10:17Arrgh?
10:35Benefit.
10:36Lauren, honestly, you's like you've been a godsend.
10:38Not just the bush chair.
10:39Yeah, Michael bought some baby clothes over.
10:42These teeny tiny shoes, honestly, they're so sweet.
10:47Oh, gosh, turning into one of those mums already.
10:51What kind of mum is that?
10:53The irritating ones, the stupid voice
10:55every time I see someone cute, say...
10:56I was exactly the same when Layla was that age.
10:59And she's going to have you
11:01wrap around her little finger in no time.
11:03In fact, I've got a lot of Layla's baby clothes at the flat,
11:06which Steedy wanted me to take down to the charity shop.
11:10But you, you can take your pick.
11:12I've got a whole suitcase full.
11:13Well, never mind working at the hotel.
11:15You can open your own branch and mother care.
11:17I'll drop them round to the factory.
11:19And look, just holler if you need anything else.
11:21Us Bailey boys, we got you.
11:23Happy to help any time.
11:25Thank you, Your Honor. I think I love you.
11:30Cheeky.
11:31I've got to say this.
11:32Oh, me too.
11:34Hi, Sarah.
11:36All right, sir?
11:38Well, no, I can't just help.
11:42Unless you want me to bring the baby with me.
11:45Well, I'm warning you, she's a crier.
11:48Well, I don't know, just push it on till later this week.
11:52I don't know.
11:54I've got the small matter of figuring out
11:57what I'm going to do with this small child.
11:59I've got to go, Sarah.
12:00She's off again.
12:03You know.
12:08Here we go.
12:10Ooh, so better.
12:13Are you all right?
12:15Oh, how adorable me, Anna.
12:18Oh, yes.
12:20Okay, for as long as you like.
12:24Obviously, it's not mine.
12:26It's Rob's.
12:27The grandmother.
12:28Yeah, she's kind of gone away for a bit,
12:29so guess who's won the baby lottery.
12:34How are you doing that?
12:36Practice, that's all.
12:38You need to hold them firmly and with confidence.
12:41They can sense when you're tense.
12:43It unnerves them.
12:45Unnerves me.
12:47Look, try again.
12:48There we are.
12:52That's it.
12:54Relax your arms.
12:58She can tell I'm not maternal.
13:01Nonsense.
13:01Relax your arms.
13:04Relax your shoulders.
13:07Bounce arrhythmically.
13:10There you are.
13:12They don't need much at that age,
13:13just food and sleep and comfort.
13:17You'll be fine.
13:18I promise.
13:20Cheers, Mary.
13:21Bye.
13:23What do you know?
13:39I have no idea what it's like.
13:43But what's like?
13:46Your children.
13:47You're the mummy, aren't you?
13:50You've seen them, learnt to walk and talk,
13:52to come to school, brought them home again,
13:54Christmases, birthdays.
13:56And you came to see if you were coming for your tea?
13:58No.
13:59Right, well, do you want me to make us a brewer instead?
14:01Only it's trifle today, so...
14:02Get out.
14:03What have I done?
14:04Get out!
14:06Back.
14:14Oh, some of it smells good.
14:16What are we having?
14:17Just some leftovers from Roy's.
14:20Oh, well, don't go overboard.
14:22It's pie and chips.
14:23Do you want it or not?
14:26I take it all back.
14:27Looks great.
14:30Oh.
14:31Are you all right?
14:33Not only, no.
14:35Oh, come on.
14:37What did we say?
14:39Positive vibes only.
14:41Look, sit yourself down.
14:43We're having second-hand pie.
14:44Hey, it's not second-hand, it's leftovers.
14:47Oh, much more appealing.
14:49You can't just barge, eh?
14:52Hey, you.
14:53I ruined my shoes on the way to a meeting earlier on because of you.
14:56Leaving dog dirt all over the pavement like flaming landmines.
14:59Well, I hope you're not treading dog dirt in on the floor.
15:01It's your dog dirt!
15:02Like, our daughter is having surgery tomorrow.
15:05We've got more important things to think about than you and your bloody shoes.
15:08Do you ever think about anyone but yourself?
15:11I'm sorry, I don't know.
15:12Oh, just get out, you clown.
15:17Rem, not to get on the wrong side of you.
15:18I am not in the mood now.
15:20Just pass me some of that second-hand pie, please.
15:28Fraud by abuser position?
15:30Who do they think you are?
15:31Admiral of the flight?
15:32You don't have to be anyone important, apparently.
15:35Just in a position of trust.
15:37The old thing's just too absurd.
15:38I'm sorry.
15:39If Annie had been a little bit nicer to the old dear while she was still alive,
15:43she might have left of the lot.
15:45You know, I read about a similar case in Hire magazine when I was at the dentist with my molar.
15:51Funeral director in Hebdenbridge, quite the charmer.
15:54The widow whisperer, they called him.
15:55Really?
15:56He had his M.O. down perfectly.
15:58The grieving widow.
16:00The devilishly handsome silver fox.
16:02A few gentle words, a little touch on the arm.
16:05And just when they were at their most vulnerable...
16:10Kablooey.
16:11Mary.
16:12I'll never survive prison, me.
16:14We're going to fight this.
16:15I'm going to fight it hard.
16:16No one gets away with accusing my brother.
16:18No one.
16:22All right.
16:23Thought you'd be drinking with your Bessie mate.
16:26You know, Cassie.
16:27I've already explained this.
16:30She wanted to buy flowers.
16:31I sold her flowers because we're a flower shop.
16:35I'm sorry you find it so confusing.
16:39You looked dressed to kill last night.
16:42Poor choice of words under the circumstances.
16:45Sorry, mate.
16:47I just thought maybe is it a big night planned out before Steve got his news?
16:50No, I was just road testing a new outfit.
16:55I'll probably send it back anyway.
17:23Carla's dead to the womb.
17:24Yeah, well, so am I after this morning.
17:28Oh, looks like they've had a good day.
17:31I thought Carla would have had a straight hand to social services by dinner time.
17:35Yeah, well, you know Carla.
17:37Never want to back down from a challenge.
17:40Hello, you.
17:43Hello, sweetheart.
17:44How are you coming?
17:45Any news on Debbie's appeal?
17:48Well, it's all in the end, Adam reckons.
17:50How they can drag their feet while a sick woman rots and a place like that is beneath me.
17:55Hey, look, I'm going to visit her next week, all right?
17:56I've just feet haven't touched the ground anymore.
17:59It's all right.
18:00She'll, uh, she'll like that.
18:01Hey, Ronnie.
18:02Hey, what's up?
18:03Um, thanks for seeing me.
18:04I just thought this was really important.
18:06Yeah.
18:06I took the kids to visit Lou, and Carl was there seeing Debbie.
18:12Carl.
18:12And...
18:14Don't feel right, us, sitting here drinking.
18:18My baby's climbing walls at home, doesn't it?
18:20I mean, I haven't been out much recently, have we?
18:23Them pies were good from Rose, weren't they?
18:25And they were free.
18:26Oh, well, every cloud.
18:29Hey.
18:31I heard about Harper's operation tomorrow.
18:34No, you don't have to say how.
18:35You must be sick of people asking.
18:37I just...
18:38I just want you to know I'm thinking of you.
18:40And so are a lot of people around here.
18:43Oh, don't be nice to me or set me off.
18:45Come here, you.
18:48Oh, hey, been puncing off Debbie again.
18:51Huh?
18:52Been telling tales, eh, Sam?
18:53You're nothing more than a leech.
18:54What, you worried that a pot of gold will be gone by the time she pegs it?
18:58I mean, that's what you're hanging about for, right?
18:59Run, run.
19:00Run.
19:00Hey.
19:01Don't judge everyone on your own standards, Sam.
19:04That's funny.
19:05That's what she calls me now.
19:06I mean, it takes a bit of getting used to, but there are upsides.
19:09Hey, you're a piece of work, you, aren't you?
19:11Right, you, out.
19:12You really are pushing your luck with me and it's not going to end well.
19:14Oh, happy to be on my way.
19:16Especially with her money burning a hole in me pocket.
19:19Eat it.
19:22Thanks for my tea, love.
19:23I'd offer to do it round mine, but an hour walk, what do you feel?
19:26Around this?
19:27Around hope.
19:29Always a pleasure, light of my life.
19:34And, um, thanks for doing the night shift.
19:37Very much appreciated.
19:37Oh, ain't you ever peace and quiet?
19:39And crack on with me book?
19:41Yeah, it takes a lot of concentration, all that colouring in.
19:46Say hi to Ollie for me.
19:48Don't you know I'm messaging Ollie?
19:50Because of that big fat grin on your face.
19:53See you later.
19:54See you later.
19:57See you later.
19:59What are you after?
20:02Listen, I don't mean to be a cow, but...
20:05Oh, nothing good has ever come from I don't mean to be a cow, but...
20:10Cassie was going to propose yesterday.
20:12Oh, yeah.
20:14So me dad dies and she thinks.
20:15Oh, I know what to cheer him up.
20:16No, the opposite, you balloon.
20:19She had it all planned out outside Victoria Gardens.
20:22Then you get the call.
20:23It's abort, abort.
20:25Well, that's why she was so dressed up.
20:26Anyway, I just thought you should know.
20:29You know with everything that's going on with your dad.
20:31Oh, my God, it's not a thing.
20:36Oh, my God.
20:44Oh, my God.
20:56Oh, my God.
21:03Officer, I know you're out.
21:07Pipe down, Maggie Smith.
21:09I'm busy.
21:16Okay.
21:17Do it.
21:19Please.
21:21Please.
21:22Please.
21:26Okay.
21:29Okay.
21:59Okay.
22:00Okay.
22:01Okay.
22:05Okay.
22:05Okay.
22:07Okay.
22:08Okay.
22:08Okay.
22:08Okay.
22:08Okay.
22:08Okay.
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