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00:02Hey.
00:03Wow.
00:03You look great.
00:05You ready to go?
00:06Yes.
00:06Let me just get my purse and then finish up a little bit.
00:09Uh, also, did you know there's an open can of sardines
00:11out here on your stoop?
00:12I did.
00:13I left it for this cute little alley cat I saw.
00:15Janine.
00:16I haven't seen him in a while, though,
00:17so keep putting the food out, keeps getting eaten.
00:21You better not have scared him off.
00:23No.
00:23Cats like me.
00:25They don't care that I'm allergic.
00:26They like making me look like Will Smith and Hitch.
00:33Hey.
00:35What the hell are you doing?
00:38You the one feeding me all these sardines?
00:39You're the one that's been eating these cans?
00:41My girlfriend thinks you're a cat.
00:42I don't know.
00:43I'm a man, man.
00:45Actually, look.
00:46I'll be riding that bus over there.
00:48And what happened was, as I was passing by,
00:50I seen a can of sardines, and I'm like, what?
00:52Free snacks?
00:53Hell yeah.
00:54So I've been bussing them down ever since.
00:55Actually, bro, can you ask her?
00:57Like, leave me a little bit of, like, bread,
00:58make some mustard, make a little sandwich.
01:00You know what I'm saying?
01:02I'm down on my bus.
01:04Huh?
01:07Don't forget, mustard, all right?
01:12How old you saw the cat?
01:13Yeah.
01:14He said leave mustard next time.
01:31Oh, come on.
01:32You gotta be kidding me.
01:34What's up?
01:34They're raising my rent again.
01:35I knew this was gonna happen as soon as I saw that Sprouts
01:38coming soon sign last week.
01:39He should've bought a house when I did, summer 2008.
01:42Or learned how to build a house yourself,
01:44like the folks who built Gerald in my home.
01:46Mm-hmm.
01:46Right.
01:47Well, neither one of those things are helpful,
01:49so thank you.
01:50I guess I'll just take on more food driver shifts.
01:53But that barely covers it as is.
01:55I'm gonna have to move.
01:57Why don't you move in with me?
01:59We could be two bachelors living it up in the city.
02:02That's a choice.
02:03Don't worry, come move in with me.
02:05I know I just blurted that out in front of everyone,
02:08but I actually have been thinking of the right time
02:09to bring it up.
02:10I mean, you're at my place all the time anyways.
02:12It's much closer to school.
02:13You will save a lot of money.
02:15You know, I'm surprised you guys
02:16haven't already been living together.
02:18My ex-husband and I moved in after one week of dating.
02:22Of course, we're divorced now, so, you know,
02:24grain of salt.
02:25I agree.
02:26The concept of living in sin is the only thing
02:29I disagree with in the Bible.
02:32What about stoning?
02:33Yeah.
02:35I mean, I am there all the time anyway,
02:39and it would make things easier.
02:42Eh?
02:44Yeah.
02:45Let's do it.
02:46Let's move in.
02:47I'm confused.
02:49You moving in with her or me?
02:51I choose Janine, Mr. Johnson.
02:53I am so excited.
02:54We're never going to have to say goodbye ever again.
02:57Eh?
02:58Enjoy the mess.
03:00What idiot doesn't want a janitor for a roommate?
03:04Don't forget, everybody, Valentine's Day is coming up,
03:07so make sure you tell your kids about our
03:09Give Someone You Like Some Candy event.
03:11I don't understand why we don't just call it Candygrams.
03:14Because this way is simpler and straight to the point.
03:17Even my church does give someone you like candy,
03:19although we always give it to God.
03:21But how does he receive it?
03:23Take it?
03:24No.
03:25I want to know how does the candy get to God?
03:29Tell you what, I don't miss a bunch of eight-year-olds
03:31being high on sugar all day.
03:33It's going to be so much easier this year.
03:35Ho ho, Alyssa.
03:38Candygrams are no walk in the park with the older kids.
03:40We are talking crushes, secret admirers, hormones,
03:44and one piece of candy can change the course of their lives overnight.
03:47Okay, Jacob, please don't talk to me like I don't understand
03:49the complexities of Valentine's Day.
03:51I got Valentine's from all three of the DeFazio triplets,
03:55and I handled it quite well.
03:57I dated all three.
03:59At separate times.
04:01Mostly.
04:04Damn.
04:05I haven't seen this many hearts since the time I accidentally made my Instagram public.
04:08This is all from you, Mr. Johnson?
04:10You don't give gifts when you're the present.
04:12Now, if you'll excuse me.
04:18So...
04:19All of these gifts are from other men?
04:22Exes, suitors, fans, etc.
04:25It's a woman or two in there.
04:26I have four quadrant appeal.
04:28Athletes, oligarchs, thespians, and lesbians.
04:31I'm everyone's one who got away.
04:33Except for you.
04:34So...
04:35You better watch it.
04:36Boop, there I go.
04:37Boop, there I go again.
04:39And loving this bit where you pretend to leave me is so funny.
04:42Then laugh at it.
04:43Ha.
04:44There it is.
04:46You're just...
04:47You're gonna keep accepting all of these gifts from the people that you are not dating?
04:51Why wouldn't I?
04:53Ooh, is he not?
04:55Gregory Eddy.
04:58Do you have any life-changing news you want to tell me?
05:01Maybe that you are moving in with the platonic love of my life?
05:04And where'd you hear that?
05:05Well, just a little place called everywhere.
05:07Give me the deeds.
05:08Who asked whom?
05:09Or was it whom asked who?
05:11Said my rent was being raised.
05:13She said I should move in.
05:14I agree.
05:15Oh my god, that's so romantic.
05:17This is humongous.
05:19Yeah, I'm pretty excited.
05:20Well, you should be.
05:21It's the biggest deal of your life.
05:22Because, you know, it used to be her apartment, and now it's your apartment.
05:25All of her stuff with all of your stuff.
05:29I never thought of it like that, but I guess you're right.
05:31Have you decided whose colander you're gonna keep?
05:33Or are you planning on being a two-colander household?
05:35Zach and I did that, and it was a huge mistake.
05:38No kitchen has that amount of room, and you are never gonna be making two carbs at once.
05:41Don't do it. Promise me.
05:42I promise you.
05:43Okay?
05:44Chill out.
05:45You good?
05:46Yeah.
05:47Alright.
05:48Talent manager.
05:50Heard you're moving into my old apartment.
05:52That means you're my tenant now.
05:54Where's my money?
05:55That's not at all how that works.
05:57How does everybody know about this?
05:58Uh, Nick just told me.
05:59He is a very gossipy little boy.
06:02Where is he?
06:04Hmm.
06:05Uh, anyway.
06:06If you find a GameCube in one of the kitchen cabinets, do not turn it off, okay?
06:11I'm 5% through a perfect Super Mario Sunshine speedrun.
06:14Man, memories.
06:15Those walls could talk.
06:17Do you think walls speak English, or do you think they have their own language amongst each other?
06:22Like Wallinese, if you will.
06:24The guy can go up to a wall and be like, Konichiwa.
06:27Hello, Kon- Konichiwa.
06:30But it's also what makes math so helpful.
06:33Ms. Inez, can I look at that and give someone you like some candy sheet for my homeroom class?
06:38Oh, yeah, sure.
06:39Let me find that for you.
06:40Yeah, I want to see who has crushes on who so I can seed them apart.
06:43Can't let the yearning get in the way of the learning, am I right?
06:47Yes.
06:50Okay, this is not good.
06:53All right, hot goss, unexpected classroom romance?
06:57No.
06:57I got one kid that no one's sending candy to.
07:01Well, you can't expect the whole class to get candy.
07:04My whole class is getting candy, except this one kid, Travis, who they all call a nerd.
07:10But I don't see it.
07:11I mean, I do, but I don't call him that.
07:14Travis Gibson was in my class.
07:16That boy was so shy, he hardly ever said a word.
07:19I know.
07:20And if he's the only one to not get candy, it'll break him.
07:24A couple of wrong turns like that in life, a kid winds up Elizabeth Holmes.
07:28Does he still carry around that bag of rocks?
07:30He makes stop-motion videos with them.
07:33Oh, Tim Burton did that.
07:35Well, he's totally normal.
07:36Richard Burton.
07:37No.
07:38That's Liz Taylor's husband.
07:40Yeah, and right here is where I thought we could put your weight bench, right?
07:43And then, while we're not using it, we kick those puppies up while we watch TV.
07:48Functional.
07:49Efficient.
07:49I like it.
07:50Right?
07:51Yeah.
07:51Um, and obviously we can keep my kitchen table.
07:54My grandmother gave it to me.
07:56So many memories.
07:57Actually, she wasn't my grandmother.
07:59She was this woman at the old folks' home where I used to volunteer.
08:02Yeah, she gave it to me before she died.
08:04Well, she didn't give it to me.
08:05She was throwing it out and I had space in my car that day.
08:07And then she died.
08:09And, uh, what about these?
08:11Have these always been here?
08:12Oh.
08:13So those are from when Tariq used to mark his height.
08:16And that tallest one is from when he was trying to go for the world record for world's tallest afro.
08:21So I kind of forgot they were there.
08:23But I can clean those off.
08:25I'm sure it'll come off with, like, a rag or spit.
08:27And, you know, I have a few dishes I'd want to bring.
08:30Yeah.
08:30Do you have any room in your cabinets?
08:32Um, I should.
08:33Probably, like, on the top.
08:34I haven't been up there in a while because getting the stepladder out is a hole to do.
08:40Look, I like Tariq.
08:42Okay, I wouldn't say I like Tariq, but I wouldn't live with Tariq.
08:46And there's a lot of Tariq in here.
08:48So I think we can do a little bit better.
08:53You know, I have an idea.
08:54Mm-hmm.
08:55What if, for fun, we went and looked at some other places, you know, just for inspiration?
08:59Hmm.
09:00Okay, yeah.
09:01Oh, like on House Hunters, but for an apartment.
09:04Yeah, like a fun role-play date kind of thing.
09:07I love that.
09:08That's great.
09:09Okay, we'll go see some other places.
09:11We'll see how they have it laid out.
09:13Oh, and then we'll get ideas for when you move in with me.
09:16Exactly.
09:17Yeah.
09:17Okay.
09:19Oh, I hope we don't fall in love with any of the other apartments, because then what would we do?
09:26So, when's the move-in date?
09:27Oh my God, can I help Gregory move?
09:29I love helping people move.
09:30You know, one of the best ways to increase intimacy is through misery.
09:33Not for a few weeks.
09:34We're gonna go see some other apartments in the meantime.
09:37But I thought he was moving into your place.
09:38He is.
09:39Gregory just thought it'd be this cute couples thing if we go see apartments for inspiration.
09:45Huh.
09:45Yeah.
09:47Okay, Janine.
09:48I'm gonna say something that you're not gonna wanna hear.
09:50What is it?
09:51I am stealing that idea from me and Elijah.
09:55That is such a fun date idea.
09:56I know, right?
10:01Hey, I rebooted the server, so I'mma head out.
10:05What's wrong with you?
10:07Uh, well, to be honest, I'm not comfortable with you accepting Valentine's Day gifts from
10:14other people.
10:15They just send them.
10:17I'd prefer they didn't.
10:18So, you want me to call my exes and admirers?
10:21And what, talk to them?
10:23You're being insecure.
10:24I'm not.
10:25It's a respect thing.
10:28You think I don't respect you?
10:30I am committed to this.
10:33To you.
10:34But I ain't gonna pretend like I'm cool with you accepting, uh, what is this, Wimbledon tickets?
10:39From some dude you used to date?
10:41But then what major should he send me tickets to?
10:43He plays better on grass.
10:45Yeah, uh, I gotta go.
10:47But we can talk more later.
10:50Guess what you're saying on this lingering tension.
10:54See, I don't think my sixth graders are using terms like pining for you.
10:59Well, they should.
10:59It's elevated.
11:00Students like Travis have it difficult enough as it is.
11:03So Melissa and I have decided to send him some candy.
11:06Yeah.
11:06And all we're doing is pretending to be a kid.
11:10Which, you know, contrary to how that sounds, this time it's okay.
11:14Yeah.
11:15Yeah.
11:16For the last time you are dealing with forces you don't understand.
11:19Jacob, we're trying to protect the kids' feelings, alright?
11:22No one's getting hurt here.
11:23Look, I never got a candy gram growing up.
11:26And it was brutal.
11:27But that was my truth.
11:28Okay?
11:29At least I knew where I stood.
11:30And hey, I turned out alright.
11:36Mmm.
11:37Okay, you convinced us.
11:39We absolutely have to do it.
11:40It would be cruel enough to.
11:41Yeah, do it, do it.
11:42Hey, I got us an appointment to view another listing.
11:45This one has a full bath and his and her...
11:47Vanities?
11:49Stovetops.
11:49Oh.
11:50Mm-hmm.
11:50That's just a regular stovetop.
11:52Wow.
11:53This place is even smaller than mine.
11:55Isn't it cool to see how they have it laid out?
11:57Yeah.
11:57Definitely.
11:58Can't wait to see the layout.
11:58That's the whole reason we're going.
11:59Yeah.
12:00Oh, I also figured out our characters.
12:02Yes.
12:02I am going to be the fashion editor of a high-profile magazine.
12:06And you are gonna be a doctor who, twist, just woke up from a coma.
12:10Why do I need to have just woken up from a coma?
12:13Because you can't see an apartment while you're unconscious, Dr. Eddie.
12:17Oh.
12:17Yeah.
12:18Uh-huh.
12:20Chloe.
12:21And for you, Travis.
12:24Really?
12:25Whoa.
12:25Travis got one?
12:27Okay, Trev.
12:29He was grinning from ear to ear, so look at that.
12:33Seems like someone put a giant smile on that kid's face.
12:37He's climbing the social ladder now.
12:39And that's all because of me and Barb's harmless interference.
12:43Yeah.
12:44Well, I guess I stand corrected.
12:46Hmm.
12:47But we will never know if Travis was going to be his generation's next angsty poet.
12:52So, live with that.
12:55You requested my services?
12:57Yeah.
12:58Barbara somehow managed to get another virus on her computer.
13:00I need you to go fix it.
13:02Why don't you just call your man?
13:03We're fighting right now because I'm accepting gifts from other people.
13:06I can't help if I'm desired by everyone.
13:08My life is hard enough as it is.
13:10Give me that Louis Vuitton.
13:13Ugh.
13:14So tired of getting the same color.
13:16Look, I get it.
13:17I used to drown in unsolicited Valentine's Day gifts myself.
13:21If you feel like you haven't done anything wrong,
13:23maybe you should consider how O'Shawn feels.
13:29You know, you're the first doctor I've ever shown an apartment to before.
13:33Yeah, well, being in a coma for so long can really take a bite out of one's finances.
13:37So, so one bath?
13:38Yeah, and one bath.
13:40Speaking of, why don't you guys look around?
13:43I gotta go take a, uh, call.
13:47Enjoy the loo.
13:48Bloody good apartment you have here.
13:53So, what do you think?
13:55High ceilings?
13:56Decent neighborhood?
13:57Definitely better than the first two places we saw.
13:59Yeah.
14:00But I'm just really not getting any decor inspiration from this place.
14:05Yeah, but the potential is out of control, and bones are here.
14:11We're just throwing this out there.
14:12What if we submitted an application?
14:14Mm-hmm.
14:15Yes.
14:15As long as it has a carport for our many, many cars, and a stable for our Clydesdale's.
14:21Yeah.
14:22No, I mean, for real.
14:24What if we made this our new apartment?
14:27Okay, but I thought we were just doing this for fun.
14:29That's what you said.
14:29We, we were.
14:30We were, but these high ceilings, right?
14:34Not that high.
14:35And this view is just, ugh.
14:39Gregory, this place sucks.
14:40I mean, it's way worse than my place, which is nice and charming and wonderful.
14:47What's going on?
14:50I don't want to move into your apartment.
14:52Hey, I could use a little help getting out of the bathroom.
14:55It's a bring your own knob kind of place.
15:01You don't want to live together?
15:02No, no.
15:03I, I want to live with you.
15:05I just think that moving into your place will feel like moving into your space.
15:10And I guess I want a space that feels like it's ours.
15:14Right, but it will be our space.
15:17Yeah, but you've been there for so many years, and you've lived a lot of life there.
15:21Is that bad?
15:22I just think that we could find a place that is big enough for both of us, with stuff that
15:27we picked out together, and where you don't have to walk through a doorway where you see how tall your
15:30ex was.
15:33Did you know that Tariq has a GameCube in your top kitchen cabinet?
15:36No.
15:37He asked us not to unplug it.
15:42I want to start fresh.
15:44Okay, I get that. I get that.
15:47So the whole apartment hunting thing was a ruse.
15:51Do you even like house hunters?
15:53Janine, I love house hunters.
15:56But, yeah, it was a ruse.
15:58Oh.
15:59All right, well, I hear you.
16:04And finding a place together, that does sound kind of nice.
16:10Yeah?
16:11Yeah.
16:16So listen, doctor, if you're worried about crime, we all are.
16:20But, what are you gonna do?
16:25Definitely not at this place, though.
16:26No, not at this place.
16:29I want to know who sent my man to give someone who likes some candy.
16:32Okay, what's going on now?
16:34Oh, Mrs. Bag of Rocks is here.
16:37This is not a big deal.
16:38I just want to whoop whoever gave Travis's candy's ass.
16:41Where you at?
16:42Yeah, where you at?
16:43Here you at.
16:44You should've listened to me.
16:45You should've stayed out of it.
16:46Travis has a girlfriend.
16:47Okay, look.
16:48Relax, okay?
16:49It's just Mrs. Howard and I, we just wanted to send Travis a little candy.
16:53Uh, yuck.
16:54Y'all are sick.
16:55We just thought that Travis was gonna be the only one in his class not to get one.
16:59Wait, so these are pity skitties?
17:01What?
17:02Oh, what?
17:03Don't eat that!
17:04I know y'all ain't just have pity on my man.
17:07Okay, Travis, Travis's girlfriend.
17:09Uh, I have a name.
17:12That don't mean I'm telling you?
17:14Stranger.
17:15Okay, Travis, anonymous teen.
17:17We're sorry.
17:18Travis, you're a special child and we didn't want you to doubt that just because you didn't
17:23get some candy.
17:24Thanks.
17:25But I got it, girl.
17:26And for future reference, I always will.
17:28Clock it!
17:30Ah.
17:30Let's go.
17:35You wanna talk to me?
17:36You need me to unwrap one of your gifts, hang a flat screen, hide the wires?
17:40Stop.
17:41Look around.
17:43What do you see?
17:45Nothing.
17:46Exactly.
17:48Happy Valentine's Day!
17:49I texted everybody and I told them, look, I only want gifts from one man.
17:55I'm sorry.
17:56I know I joke around, but I'm committed to you too.
17:59Right?
18:00You ain't got nothing to worry about.
18:01That's why I didn't even think anything of it.
18:04You don't need no chocolate that I want.
18:11Okay, baby girl.
18:12What'd you do with all the gifts though?
18:15Donated them to the needy.
18:17Then there was that time I was in Namibia, swimming with the elephants on the beach.
18:22So he's baby girl now?
18:24Yeah.
18:24Nick!
18:25Oh.
18:26Phew.
18:27There you go.
18:28I was just thinking about y'all.
18:30So the GameCube, I know y'all are really worried about it, so got it out of your hair.
18:35You came by?
18:36Yeah, yeah.
18:36Last night.
18:37You hear me?
18:37Made a smoothie and everything.
18:39Where's Nick?
18:40Oh my God.
18:41Nick!
18:42Does he still have a key?
18:43Hope so.
18:45That definitely won't happen at our place.
18:46I know.
18:47See anything you like?
18:48Mmm, some, but it's all so expensive.
18:52I can't even afford the open apartment above me.
18:55Ugh.
18:55And how much is the one above you?
18:57Uh, it's like 400 more.
18:59But it's not a basement.
19:01It's better sunlight.
19:02It's bigger.
19:02You know, it's the stuff you pay the big bucks for.
19:04Well, we can afford 400 extra dollars.
19:07No, I can't.
19:08Well, we can.
19:09No, we cannot, Gregory.
19:11The math isn't there.
19:13I mean, I'd have to take another job, take out a loan, hit the pole.
19:16Uh, Janine, you do realize that we would be splitting the rent, right?
19:24Whoa, oh, oh.
19:26Did you get so used to Tariq not contributing that you forget that I got a job?
19:31And like, utilities, we'd be splitting those too?
19:34Yeah.
19:35Oh, my God.
19:36Oh, my God.
19:38That changes everything, okay?
19:40Does Philadelphia have castles?
19:41Because, like, I don't want to look at those.
19:43Uh, let's start with the one in your building first.
19:46But, sure.
19:46Okay.
19:47Mm-hmm.
19:48Whoa.
19:49I'll get all the toilet paper, though.
19:51You know, to do that.
19:54We can split that, too.
19:57Yeah.
19:59Wow.
20:00It really does feel amazing to be right.
20:02I can see why you two insist upon it so much.
20:06I can't wait to tell Elijah about this tonight at Valentine's Day.
20:09Oh, my God!
20:09I forgot to get him a gift!
20:11Ha!
20:11Well, that horse doesn't feel so high now, does it, Jacob?
20:15At least we got our men covered.
20:17Nope.
20:17I left Captain Rob's present in the cart.
20:20Well, good luck to you both,
20:21because Gerald's gonna love his men's Bible.
20:24As much as you love the one you got him last year?
20:27Shopping!
20:28Let's go. I'll drive.
20:30Whew.
20:31First piece of furniture together.
20:32That was easy.
20:33Yeah!
20:33I mean, it's perfect, and it's so us,
20:36and Wafer delivered it so fast.
20:37I wish I had to figure out where we're gonna sit.
20:39Hmm.
20:40Well, we can sit at opposite ends of the table.
20:41Okay.
20:42Right?
20:44Maybe when company is over, this feels too formal.
20:46Yeah.
20:46Side by side?
20:47Yeah.
20:53Maybe hug a corner?
20:54That one?
20:55Yeah.
21:03This is good, yeah.
21:05And we even get to look at our wonderful view.
21:07It's like being in the penthouse of a skyscraper.
21:10That has two floors.
21:13Oh, my goodness.
21:14What is gonna happen to the cat I've been feeding?
21:17He's gonna be so confused when he doesn't have
21:18any sardine dinners.
21:21Yeah, about that.
21:24Delicious.
21:25Ну yeah, that was delicious.ациucos
21:30.かわいい
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