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Coronation Street 18th February 2026

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Transcript
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00:33All right, Webster.
00:35And finally, dogs.
00:38I just wish they'd bring bat wings back in fashion again.
00:43The quirky canine compadres are not our amigos, Lily.
00:48If you see one, jump up behind a letterbox, withdraw.
00:51Now, I've printed off a few bullet points,
00:56re-health and safety, for the paper round.
00:58Ta.
00:59Right.
01:00How do I look?
01:02Well, we not lose you in a pea-super.
01:06Now, you've got your papers?
01:07Er, yes.
01:10Once more, unto the breach, dear friends, once more.
01:13Good luck, Lily.
01:14May the delivery gods be with thee.
01:18Thanks.
01:19See you later.
01:20Ooh.
01:21What a lovely jerkin.
01:23Is Lily your new paper girl?
01:25Hey, how on earth did you guess?
01:27Oh, I do have somewhat of a sixth sense when it comes to these things.
01:31Ooh.
01:32What's that, Bri-Bri?
01:33Oh.
01:34It's a very rare edition of The Woman in White.
01:40Tights.
01:41Sorry?
01:41I read a book once called The Woman in White Tights.
01:46It's about a woman who wore white tights.
01:50No.
01:51It's the famous book by Wilkie Collins.
01:55Imagine calling your kid Wilkie, Rita.
01:57You may as well stick a sign on his head saying,
01:59go on then, bully me.
02:00Well, you know...
02:01The Woman in White is a very famous book.
02:04Well, if it's anything like The Woman in White Tights, it will be a huge disappointment.
02:10Now, Rita, before Brian bores us to death with any further literary pretensions, I wondered
02:15whether or not you cared to join me for a snifter or two later in the bistro.
02:19Brian, is my programme on tonight?
02:21No, it's tomorrow.
02:22Oh, well, that's very nice, ain't it?
02:25I can't believe you've never heard of The Woman in White, Mary.
02:28Yeah, and I can't believe you've never heard of The Woman in White Tights.
02:32Ciao, Reet.
02:33I'll film up a time later via text.
02:35I must dash.
02:35I need to bleach my splash bags.
02:41That's all gone through.
02:43Right.
02:43So, come on then.
02:44How is she?
02:46Well, if I'm missing her, I don't know how you must be feeling.
02:48Well, um, she seems okay.
02:51She's holding up okay, despite everything, you know?
02:53Bless her.
02:55Yeah.
02:55Will you give her my love next time you talk to her?
02:57Yeah, of course.
02:58Me and Kev are gonna go and see you later.
03:01Hey, Bernie, listen.
03:02Has, um, Debbie ever...
03:04Has she ever said anything to you about...
03:06About what?
03:07Carl.
03:08Carl?
03:09In what way?
03:11Well, nothing out of the ordinary, you know, except that she's always been really fond of him.
03:16Oh, hello.
03:17Speak of the devil.
03:19Are you taking my name in vain?
03:21Oh, here he is, the Walter Mitty of Weatherfield.
03:25Never heard of him, mate.
03:26I'm not your mate.
03:27And I'll wipe that smirk off your face in a minute.
03:31Actually, thinking about it is, as you're married to my mum, I might start calling you...
03:36Don't even think about it.
03:38You know I'll get the truth from Debbie, and when I do, I'll have you.
03:42Bang.
03:43To rights.
03:51I can't believe that he's dumped me.
03:55He was the one, you know.
03:57He's so lovely, Debbie.
04:01What did you say it was inside for again?
04:04Aggravated burglary with menaces, but he didn't mean to chop that guy's fingers off.
04:11His hand just slipped.
04:13And he says you can get really good plastic hands these days.
04:16He told me.
04:18Right.
04:19Well, he sounds lovely.
04:22A man after me own heart.
04:25Are you a bee's argy?
04:26Of course I am.
04:27My daft duck.
04:28What?
04:29He sounds absolutely atrocious, Porton.
04:32Do you know what?
04:33You are better off without him.
04:37Blimey.
04:37What's going on here, then?
04:40I'm just consoling mouth almighty here.
04:43Eh?
04:44Well, you're a bit, aren't you?
04:46You know, gob on a stick.
04:48You are a cheeky bitch.
04:50Do you know what?
04:52I am sick at sound of you now.
04:54I'm sight of you and ask for smell.
04:56You need to invest in a bit of roll on deodorant, you.
04:58You stink.
04:59Ah!
05:00Oi!
05:00Leave her alone, you...
05:02Look, there's no point battering her in getting a longer sentence.
05:04She insulted me!
05:06I insulted your ex!
05:08Are you a dick or something?
05:09Paula, go somewhere else and chill your boots.
05:12It's not worth a longer stretch, trust me.
05:21Oh, I'm sorry.
05:25My words seem to be coming out before my mind kicks in.
05:30But thank you.
05:32Look, you've got to be careful around women like that.
05:35They're not your mates.
05:36No.
05:37I don't know whether it's because I'm in here and my routine's gone all skewed with,
05:43but I do think I'm getting a lot worse.
05:48Right.
05:52I'm not going to last five minutes, am I?
05:55If I...
05:56If I keep letting me mouth run away with itself.
06:02There we go.
06:04I think I've got a coleslaw coming.
06:06No, you didn't order coleslaw, love.
06:08It means coleslaw.
06:09Whatever you do, don't touch it.
06:10You think you've got problems?
06:12I've still not figured out how I'm going to get my Duke of Edinburgh badge.
06:14Oh, it's easy as that.
06:16How's it easy?
06:17Well, you just volunteer for a community group or...
06:20or help an old lady with a shopping.
06:23Oh, do you need any shopping doing burning?
06:25Mm.
06:25Do you want to wear that omelette?
06:27Oh, it's cute.
06:27Oh, you don't think you're old.
06:30You still here?
06:31You low on loo roll.
06:33I can wait.
06:34It's just I need a full replenishment, otherwise I get, um, performance anxiety.
06:41Oh, she's a firecracker, isn't she?
06:45I bet she's a scream to live with.
06:46Oh, she don't live with us.
06:48Listen, I want to have a little wind-up laugh kind of thing with her.
06:51Tell me a secret about her.
06:53Oh, the Vernon Cale's gave her a piggyback in the press club.
06:57Did it?
06:57That's amazing.
06:58Wasn't that Peter Cale?
06:59If she were an animal, what kind would she be?
07:01Quick, before she comes back.
07:14What are you doing?
07:16I'm sorry.
07:17Leanne left me a spare key.
07:18I was looking for somewhere quiet to revise.
07:20Right.
07:21Okay.
07:22Sorry.
07:23Wow.
07:23I mean, bit of a shock to come out the bathroom and find a lurker.
07:26You could have been anyone.
07:27Yeah, I'm so sorry.
07:29You could have let me know somehow.
07:31Sorry.
07:35Although, that being said, I do think it's a good idea to get cram in.
07:40Handing your coursework in late that one time.
07:42Slippery slop.
07:44Well, yeah, but...
07:45I mean, make habit of it.
07:46No red bricks can look twice at you.
07:49Right.
07:53I have to go out now, so...
07:55Well, is it all right if I work here, then?
07:57If you let me know what time you're going to be back, I'll make sure I'm way gone by then.
08:03Hmm.
08:05I'll be back by four.
08:07Okay.
08:25No, I've got brown sauce on it.
08:27Heh.
08:28You've got to have brown sauce and a bacon sarnie.
08:29It's the law.
08:32Love's young green.
08:34Hmm.
08:35Still stand by what I said earlier.
08:37You're off your head.
08:38It's true.
08:40Is it?
08:41It is.
08:42Here.
08:42Ask yourself.
08:44Fire away.
08:45Ask me anything.
08:46I am an open book.
08:49You ask her, you're the one who's obsessed.
08:50It's a slight exaggeration.
08:52Come on now.
08:53Spill the tea, as an old drag queen pal of mine used to say.
08:57You've got a friend who's a drag queen.
08:59Gastric bland.
09:01Pure evil.
09:02Okay.
09:02So, Eva thinks that you made Lauren work the other night so she couldn't go out with Ollie.
09:09That is an outrageous suggestion.
09:13And yet, scarily accurate.
09:17Lauren is not good enough for my grandson.
09:20And if you think she is, you want your heads testing.
09:22Well, with respect, Ma.
09:24That's a first.
09:25I think it's probably up to Ollie who he does and doesn't date.
09:28Lauren is a misery-gut single mother from a bad family and a terrible history with men.
09:33That might be fine for some people, but not for my grandson.
09:37Don't sit on the fence, Ma. You might get splinters on your cheeks.
09:41Mind you, he wouldn't be the first man in this family to be blinded by an airhead bottle blonde with
09:48no concept of modesty.
10:12Did you see that?
10:14I did.
10:15Hope you're not waiting for your delivery of Conker Monthly.
10:18Yeah, well, I'm not a kid.
10:19Yeah, I'm well aware of that.
10:21So, go on, tell Sam again. What'd he do?
10:24Let himself into the flat while I was on the loo.
10:27Got a shock of my life.
10:29What was he sniffing around for?
10:32We need to stop him, but we need to be clever.
10:35Have you ever heard of the phrase, keep your friends close and your enemies closer?
10:38Yeah.
10:40Well, I need you to be the good cop to my bad cop.
10:43You go with that?
10:46It's hard to know what to say at some times, isn't it?
10:50It is right, yeah.
10:52I suppose small talk's as good as anything.
10:58Oh, my.
11:02Who did that here?
11:04Deb's.
11:04Oh, if you mind.
11:06They should see the other fella.
11:08Who was it?
11:10Hey?
11:11It's just a misunderstanding over Somerton now, but it's all tickety-boo now.
11:16So, no fretting.
11:20It's lovely to see you.
11:23You all right, Ronnie?
11:25You look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders.
11:28He's fine, and so am I.
11:29Stop worrying about us.
11:31There is something I need to ask you, actually, and I don't know if this is going to come as
11:35a shock to you, Kevin, or not, but...
11:37Hey?
11:38Sounds ominous.
11:39And this is so ridiculous, this, but...
11:42Carl, er, well...
11:43He informed me, allegedly, that he is your son.
11:50Give over, as if.
11:53Tell him, Deb.
11:55Tell him.
11:57You are kidding me.
12:00I'm so sorry.
12:04Carl, he's, erm...
12:08He's not your brother.
12:12He's your nephew.
12:32And that was that, really.
12:34We just...
12:36all went along with it.
12:38I was a child.
12:41So, I've spent my life being lied to by you.
12:44My dad.
12:46My dad used to bang on about my boy, Carl.
12:50My wonderful son.
12:52And all along,
12:53he was his grandson.
12:56They're just words, Kev.
12:58You all kept it from me.
13:00That must have been hard work.
13:03I bet he was all laughing behind me back, weren't he, eh?
13:05What a mug Kevin is for falling for it.
13:09Gullible Kevin, he'll believe in anything.
13:11No.
13:12He wasn't...
13:13I didn't want my dad to move to Germany.
13:15He said he really fancied that job, but all along...
13:18Kevin.
13:18All along,
13:20he wanted to run away with you, Elaine,
13:22and your grubby little secret.
13:24Right, no. Sorry.
13:25Even when I saw him before he died,
13:28he never mentioned it.
13:30He guarded it till a better end.
13:33Well,
13:35maybe he was waiting for me to mention it.
13:39Even when I was ready.
13:42But you lie to yourself long enough.
13:46Comes true in your head eventually.
13:49And I'd buried it, hadn't I, deep inside me for what?
13:53Nearly 40-odd years.
13:58Not in a way it meant until one day, I don't know.
14:02The scales just fall from your eyes and it all just comes tumbling out.
14:07It's like Carl knows.
14:10Yeah.
14:11Yeah, I told him.
14:12But only recently.
14:15That's why you're carrying the can for him.
14:18I knew it.
14:19And you had me think I was going mad.
14:21Oh, I'm sorry.
14:24You were only here because of him.
14:27What else could I do?
14:29Tell the truth.
14:30Don't mug me off.
14:32You're right.
14:34I made you think you got it wrong.
14:37And I'm so sorry, but...
14:40I was scared.
14:43I owe this to Carl.
14:45You know when he said he went to live with Elaine?
14:48Well, he had the most horrendous time.
14:52He's broken, Kev.
14:55And if I hadn't have been so selfish,
14:57if I'd have been a proper mum to him,
15:01then...
15:03maybe it wouldn't have turned out so bad.
15:06OK.
15:08You've done all this for Carl.
15:10What's it doing to you?
15:12Look at you.
15:14You've been here five minutes.
15:15You're black and blue.
15:16Exactly.
15:17How could he?
15:20I'm all right.
15:21Look, I don't care that Carl's your son.
15:23He shouldn't be putting you through this.
15:25He's raped.
15:26Well, he's not, is he?
15:28I am.
15:29This is my choice.
15:31It is.
15:32I could kill him for what he's done to you.
15:34You don't mean that.
15:36Oh.
15:37Don't I?
15:40She sent me another one.
15:42Who? What?
15:43Emily.
15:44I've told you.
15:45She keeps sending me spiritual pictures every day on a text.
15:49And what's she sent you today?
15:51Well...
15:53It's a picture of Jesus and he's knocking on a door and it says,
15:58Behold.
16:01Might need me glasses.
16:02Thought it was Demis Roussos.
16:04And have you replied?
16:05Have I replied?
16:06Not yet.
16:07Will you?
16:09I usually say, very nice.
16:11Oh.
16:12You want to send her one of those, er, disappointing affirmations?
16:15What's that?
16:16Oh, you see them online.
16:18It's a picture of a beach and it says, er, you'll always be mediocre.
16:24I can't send that to her.
16:26Like, she's my friend.
16:28I might send one to Jenny cos she's got a good sense of humor.
16:32Look what I found.
16:33Shoved in a bin on the precinct.
16:35Property of the cabin, I believe.
16:37By the way, look at that.
16:40Those must be the worst fortune.
16:42Lily was in charge of that.
16:44Well, wait till I get my hands on her.
16:45Oh, you can't say that nowadays.
16:46Well, listen, thanks for returning them, Hope.
16:50Shoved in a bin, you say?
16:52Yeah.
16:52Er, do you think maybe you'd be able to help me get my DAV badge?
16:56You know, cos I've done a good deed and all that.
16:58I don't think it's completely badge-worthy.
17:00Well, yeah, but, like, I have to do some volunteering work,
17:03so if you ever need some shopping doing, an extra pair of hands.
17:06If I was wanting to be a lady-in-waiting to Queen Rita.
17:09Well, yes, it might be very nice
17:11to have a little bit of help every now and then.
17:14Oh!
17:15Hey!
17:15Mary?
17:16Mary.
17:17Yes.
17:19Oh!
17:21Come here, Brian.
17:22Yep.
17:22We're nearly there.
17:24Would you like me to walk you to her?
17:26Er, no, no, I'll be fine, love.
17:28I'm fine, I'm fine.
17:29Oh, but do you need a wheelchair, then, or...?
17:31Yes.
17:33A wheelchair.
17:35To run you over.
17:36Get out of the way.
17:40So, Lauren.
17:42Did you enjoy that?
17:43What do you think of her?
17:45Be honest.
17:47Here we go.
17:48No feedback for the chef, eh?
17:49Don't avoid the question.
17:51Snap.
17:53Er...
17:54Well, she's nice.
17:56Right.
17:57We have a laugh.
17:58Hmm.
17:59Also, baby.
18:01What about it?
18:02She has one, unfortunately.
18:05You never had a problem with Dee Dee having one?
18:07Lauren is not a solicitor with prospects.
18:11Mind you, I'm sure she's done some soliciting in her time,
18:14just not of the legal variety.
18:16Yeah.
18:19Come on.
18:21How do you envisage your life?
18:24You're a strapping lad full of beans.
18:27Do you really see yourself stopping in every night doing feeds and watching the telly?
18:31Er...
18:32Wouldn't it be more exciting to have spontaneous nights away in spa hotels or weekend city breaks in far-flung
18:40corners of the globe?
18:41She is a laugh.
18:43Really?
18:44Because from where I'm sitting, she's no Marty Cain.
18:47You won't know who that is.
18:47Who?
18:48Told you.
18:48Exactly.
18:50There's only so much grown-up fun you can have with an ankle-biter following your every move.
18:57She finds it hard enough to get childcare when she's doing shifts in this place, let alone off gallivanting with
19:03fellas.
19:05I'll say no more on the matter.
19:07It's your life that you're throwing away.
19:15Look, I know you've chosen to do your master GCSE a year early, but I think it's too much.
19:20It's not.
19:21You're overdoing it, the stress.
19:23What for so you can say you got a qualification a year early? I mean, who cares?
19:26I care.
19:28Now, leave me alone, people won't serve in.
19:30Right, well, I haven't finished with you yet.
19:32You have.
19:34Ah!
19:35Ladies, will you be dining with us this afternoon?
19:38Oh, just liquid.
19:39But a nice table wouldn't go on it.
19:42Yes, walk this way.
19:43You know what I can't abide, Rita?
19:46It's when somebody says, walk this way, and then they do a silly walk and expect you to copy them.
19:50I feel like punching them, don't you?
19:52Shall I tell you what irritates me?
19:54What's that, Rique Petite?
19:56Folk who link me when I haven't asked them.
19:59Oh.
20:00Posh bottle of red, Nick.
20:02Cheese babe.
20:10I come in peace.
20:13How do you mean?
20:14Well, you know, I know things haven't exactly been the greatest between you and me.
20:19Guess not.
20:20Well, so, you know, I want us to be mates.
20:22Er, you know, we are practically family.
20:24And, er, I remember you mentioning a while back a gig tonight at the New Century Hall.
20:30Yeah, the Oasis tribute pack.
20:31Yeah.
20:32I thought we could go together, so I got some tickets.
20:34Do you know what to say is this?
20:52Is that right?
20:59Yeah?
21:00Yeah, fine I can hold.
21:02Oi!
21:05What are you playing at?
21:07Do you not understand what you've done?
21:10My terminal ill wife, your mother,
21:12you've let her do birth for something you did!
21:14What, she told you that?
21:16You can see the state of her in there.
21:17She's been beaten up and everything.
21:20Yeah, I know the feeling.
21:22Don't bring your part up, yeah?
21:23Listen to me, because I hate repeating myself.
21:26You're going to do the right thing by debit.
21:29How?
21:29You're going to tell the police the truth.
21:31Get her released.
21:33Because if you don't, mate,
21:35your life ain't going to be worth living.
21:37What, you think I'm scared of you, Muppets?
21:40No, no, leave him, Ronnie!
21:41Ronnie, leave him!
21:43You've heard what I've said.
21:51Alfie and Jordi are on high alert
21:53when a controversial political figure receives a death threat.
21:56The new series of Grantchester continues tomorrow night at 9 o'clock.
22:00But it's more chilling adventure for our climbers next on ITV1.
22:04We'll be right back with The Summit.
22:06Before we started, We're chats with this forever,
22:10We'll be right back with this thing.
22:11We'll be right back with this.
22:11We'll all be right.
22:12We'll be right back with the next episode.
22:16You
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