00:00What is a vampire?
00:03For 3,000 years, I have asked myself, what should a vampire be?
00:09Perhaps I should live in a castle, feared by mortals for all eternity.
00:15Perhaps a proper vampire should consort only with the fellow damned.
00:21Perhaps, as a vampire, I should slake my carnal desires with wild bacchanals each night,
00:28but, well, that I do.
00:31But these are all should statements, something I have learned much about as the first vampire therapist.
00:38When we say we should do something, where does the should come from?
00:43Why should I live in a castle?
00:45Is it something I should do for my well-being, or a pressure of vampire society?
00:52A should statement is a distortion of reality,
00:55and the reality is that I don't need a castle.
00:59So I bought a nightclub instead.
01:02Watch as my therapist in training cleverly catches me using a should statement.
01:08I should speak at least 300 languages, including Java.
01:12I do live forever, after all.
01:15Well, that's one of them should statements, ain't it?
01:18Nobody's making you learn Java.
01:19Thank goodness for that.
01:21But should statements are only one way humans, immortal and not, can engage in distorted thinking.
01:28As a therapist to the undead, you'll learn to challenge your clients in many different ways.
01:35We are dead.
01:37Don't we deserve to rest in peace?
01:40See you next time.
01:42You
01:43Dance
01:44You
01:44Dance
01:47You
01:47Grazie a tutti.
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