- 2 days ago
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00:00:00You can move to the laundry room or leave, my dad announced at Thanksgiving dinner.
00:00:06You understand, don't you?
00:00:08My brother smirked.
00:00:10I walked out.
00:00:11But days later, Dad panicked.
00:00:14Wait.
00:00:15Camilla covered everything, even my medication?
00:00:19My name is Camilla, I'm 27 years old, and I've been living with my dad in Kansas City, Missouri for
00:00:25the past five years.
00:00:27Most people would find that arrangement unusual for someone my age, but there was a reason I stayed.
00:00:33My dad had been diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure three years ago, and his medications were expensive.
00:00:40Really expensive.
00:00:42Between his prescriptions, the house bills, groceries, and everything else, I'd been covering most of our living expenses while working
00:00:49as a dental hygienist at a clinic downtown.
00:00:52My brother, Jacob, was 32, and had been living in Denver with his wife, Stephanie, for the past eight years.
00:01:00He rarely visited, maybe twice a year if we were lucky, and never offered to help financially.
00:01:06Not once.
00:01:08When Dad got sick, Jacob's response was to send a fruit basket and a card that said,
00:01:13Get well soon.
00:01:15That was it.
00:01:16No phone calls asking how the treatment was going.
00:01:20No offers to split medication costs.
00:01:23Nothing.
00:01:24I didn't mind taking care of Dad.
00:01:27Honestly, I didn't.
00:01:29After Mom passed away when I was 19, Dad had been there for me through everything.
00:01:34He'd helped me through nursing school, encouraged me when I switched to dental hygiene, and never once made me feel
00:01:39like a burden.
00:01:40So when he got sick, stepping up felt natural.
00:01:44It felt right.
00:01:45But Jacob had different ideas about family responsibility.
00:01:49The trouble started three weeks before Thanksgiving, when Jacob called Dad out of nowhere.
00:01:55I was in the kitchen making dinner when I heard Dad's voice get excited in the living room.
00:02:00Jacob, what a surprise.
00:02:03How are you?
00:02:04I couldn't hear Jacob's side of the conversation, but I watched Dad's expression change from happy to concerned to something
00:02:12I couldn't quite place.
00:02:14When he hung up, he looked uncomfortable.
00:02:18Everything okay?
00:02:19I asked, bringing him his evening pills with a glass of water.
00:02:24Jacob and Stephanie are having some trouble, Dad said slowly.
00:02:29Financial trouble.
00:02:31He didn't give me all the details, but it sounds serious.
00:02:34They might need to move back here for a while.
00:02:37Just temporarily, he said.
00:02:40Maybe a few months while they get back on their feet.
00:02:43My stomach dropped.
00:02:45Move back here?
00:02:47Into this house?
00:02:49Well, yes.
00:02:50Where else would they go?
00:02:53Dad looked at me with those tired eyes that always made me feel guilty for questioning anything.
00:02:59He's my son, Camilla.
00:03:01Family helps family.
00:03:03Family helps family.
00:03:05The word stung because I'd been helping family for five years straight, but apparently that only counted when it was
00:03:12convenient.
00:03:13Okay.
00:03:14I said quietly.
00:03:16When?
00:03:17He's thinking mid-November.
00:03:19Before Thanksgiving, probably.
00:03:22That gave us less than three weeks.
00:03:25I tried to push down the anxiety that bubbled up in my chest.
00:03:29Our house wasn't huge.
00:03:31Three bedrooms, one bathroom, a small kitchen and living room.
00:03:35I had the second bedroom.
00:03:37Dad had the master.
00:03:39And the third bedroom had been converted into a storage room years ago.
00:03:43Where exactly were Jacob and Stephanie supposed to sleep?
00:03:47The answer came two weeks later when Jacob's truck pulled up in our driveway on a cold Tuesday afternoon.
00:03:52I was just getting home from work, still in my scrubs, when I saw them unloading boxes.
00:03:59Lots of boxes.
00:04:01Jacob saw me and waved.
00:04:03Hey, sis!
00:04:05Hey, sis!
00:04:05Surprise!
00:04:06Surprise!
00:04:06Surprise!
00:04:06We're a few days early.
00:04:08Stephanie stood beside him, arms crossed, looking at our modest house like it was a prison sentence.
00:04:15She'd always been that way.
00:04:16Everything about our family, our house, our city was beneath her.
00:04:21I'd learned to ignore it over the years.
00:04:25Dad didn't mention you were coming today, I said, trying to keep my voice neutral.
00:04:30Last-minute decision.
00:04:32The landlord in Denver wanted us out by the end of the month, so we figured why wait?
00:04:37Jacob started hauling boxes toward the front door.
00:04:40Dad's inside.
00:04:41He's helping us figure out the sleeping arrangements.
00:04:45That phrase sent alarm bells ringing in my head.
00:04:48Sleeping arrangements.
00:04:49I followed them inside, my heart pounding.
00:04:53Dad was in the hallway, looking stressed.
00:04:56When he saw me, he attempted a smile that didn't reach his eyes.
00:05:00Camilla, good.
00:05:02You're home.
00:05:03We need to talk about rooms.
00:05:05The storage room?
00:05:07I suggested, hopefully.
00:05:09We could clear it out.
00:05:11It's full of junk, and there's no closet, Stephanie interjected, wrinkling her nose.
00:05:17That wouldn't work at all.
00:05:19Jacob nodded.
00:05:20We were thinking, since you're just one person, maybe you could take the laundry room.
00:05:25We could put a futon in there or something.
00:05:28It's only temporary, after all.
00:05:30A few months at most.
00:05:32I stared at him.
00:05:34The laundry room.
00:05:36You want me to sleep in the laundry room?
00:05:39It's not that small, Jacob said defensively.
00:05:42And like I said, it's temporary.
00:05:46I looked at Dad, waiting for him to say something, to stand up for me.
00:05:50But he just stood there, shifting his weight from foot to foot, not meeting my eyes.
00:05:56What about all my stuff?
00:05:58I asked quietly.
00:06:00My bed.
00:06:01My dresser.
00:06:03My clothes.
00:06:04We can store most of it, Stephanie said briskly, as if this was already decided.
00:06:10You really don't need that much space anyway.
00:06:14That night, I barely slept on the futon Jacob had set up in the laundry room.
00:06:19The space smelled like detergent and mildew, and every time the water heater kicked on,
00:06:24the whole room hummed.
00:06:26I lay there staring at the ceiling, my clothes hanging on a tension rod Jacob had installed
00:06:31over the utility sink, my entire life compressed into one hundred square feet.
00:06:36The next morning, I found Stephanie already in the kitchen making coffee.
00:06:41She'd rearranged everything.
00:06:43My favorite mugs were shoved in the back of the cabinet.
00:06:47The coffee maker I'd bought last year was replaced with some expensive espresso machine
00:06:51they'd brought from Denver.
00:06:53Morning, I said, trying to find where she'd moved the bread.
00:06:57Oh, that's in the pantry now.
00:06:59I reorganized.
00:07:01The old system didn't make any sense.
00:07:03She didn't look up from her phone.
00:07:05I found the bread and made toast in silence, then gathered my things for work.
00:07:11When I reached for my lunch bag in the fridge, it wasn't there.
00:07:15Did you see a blue lunch bag?
00:07:17I asked.
00:07:19Oh, that old thing?
00:07:21It was taking up space, so I tossed it.
00:07:24You can just buy lunch today.
00:07:26Stephanie sipped her espresso.
00:07:29Besides, you probably eat out all the time anyway, right?
00:07:32Working at a dentist's office, you must make decent money.
00:07:35I didn't bother correcting her about my job.
00:07:38That lunch bag was mine.
00:07:40It was falling apart.
00:07:41I'll buy you a new one if it's that important.
00:07:44She waved her hand dismissively.
00:07:47I left without another word.
00:07:49My jaw clenched so tight it ached.
00:07:52The next few weeks became a master class in being made to feel unwelcome in my own home.
00:07:58Jacob and Stephanie took over everything.
00:08:00They rearranged the furniture, complained about the neighborhood, and treated the house like
00:08:05a hotel where I was the inconvenient staff member who kept getting in the way.
00:08:09Stephanie started making comments about my schedule.
00:08:12You're home a lot for someone who works full-time, she observed one evening as I made dinner.
00:08:18Don't dental offices work long hours?
00:08:21I work eight to five, Monday through Friday, I replied, stirring pasta.
00:08:26Pretty standard?
00:08:28Hmm.
00:08:28Jacob works remote now.
00:08:30Sixty hours a week minimum.
00:08:32That's a real work ethic.
00:08:35I bit my tongue and said nothing.
00:08:37The breaking point came on Thanksgiving Day.
00:08:40I'd been looking forward to it because I thought maybe, just maybe, we could have one normal family meal.
00:08:47I'd volunteered to cook the turkey and make my grandmother's stuffing recipe, the one Dad loved.
00:08:53But when I came out of the laundry room that morning, I found Stephanie had already started cooking.
00:08:58She'd taken over the entire kitchen.
00:09:00I'm doing Thanksgiving this year, she announced.
00:09:04No offense, but I have standards.
00:09:07I was going to make Grandma's stuffing, I said quietly.
00:09:10That old recipe?
00:09:12Way too much butter.
00:09:14I'm doing a quinoa version.
00:09:16Much healthier.
00:09:18Dad walked in and saw my face.
00:09:21Camilla makes wonderful stuffing, he said weakly.
00:09:25Dad, you have diabetes and high blood pressure, Jacob interjected, coming up behind him.
00:09:32Stephanie's way is better for you.
00:09:34You should thank her for caring about your health.
00:09:36I said I wanted to scream that I'd been caring about Dad's health for three years, making sure he took
00:09:41his pills, monitoring his diet, taking him to every doctor's appointment.
00:09:47But I swallowed it down.
00:09:49The dinner itself was tense.
00:09:51Stephanie's quinoa stuffing was bland and the turkey was dry.
00:09:54But Jacob praised everything like it was a five-star meal.
00:09:58Dad picked at his food, occasionally glancing at me with an apologetic expression I was getting tired of seeing.
00:10:05After dinner, while I was washing dishes because of course no one else volunteered,
00:10:10Jacob and Stephanie cornered Dad in the living room.
00:10:13I couldn't hear everything, but I caught fragments.
00:10:19Indefinitely, not just a few months.
00:10:22Makes sense.
00:10:24Already settled.
00:10:26Fair, she's taking up space.
00:10:29My hands froze in the soapy water.
00:10:32I dried them and walked to the living room doorway.
00:10:35What's going on?
00:10:37Dad looked uncomfortable again.
00:10:40That expression was becoming permanent on his face.
00:10:43Jacob and Stephanie were just explaining that their situation in Denver is more complicated than they thought.
00:10:49They might need to stay longer.
00:10:52How much longer?
00:10:54Indefinitely, Stephanie said, not even pretending to sound apologetic.
00:10:59Until we figure things out.
00:11:02Which brings us to a related topic, Jacob added, looking at Dad instead of me.
00:11:08The house is getting crowded.
00:11:11Three adults is manageable.
00:11:13But four is pushing it.
00:11:14And let's be honest.
00:11:16Camilla's the only one without a spouse here.
00:11:18It doesn't make sense for her to take up a whole bedroom when she could easily get her own place.
00:11:24I felt like I'd been slapped.
00:11:26This is my home.
00:11:28It's Dad's home, Jacob corrected.
00:11:31And he needs to think about what's best for him long term.
00:11:35Stephanie and I are planning to stay and help him.
00:11:38Really help him.
00:11:39Not just throw money at the problem.
00:11:41Throw money at the problem?
00:11:44My voice came out sharper than I intended.
00:11:46Is that what you think I've been doing?
00:11:49We're just saying that Dad needs more than financial support.
00:11:52Stephanie chimed in.
00:11:53He needs family around who care about more than just paying bills.
00:11:58Dad finally spoke, but his words shattered something inside me.
00:12:03Camilla.
00:12:05Maybe they have a point.
00:12:07You're young.
00:12:08You should be building your own life.
00:12:10Not spending your twenties taking care of your old father.
00:12:14And Jacob and Stephanie are here now.
00:12:16They can help.
00:12:18Help.
00:12:20The word was laughable.
00:12:22They'd been here three weeks and hadn't contributed a single dollar to groceries, utilities, or anything else.
00:12:29So, what are you saying?
00:12:31I asked Dad directly.
00:12:33You want me to leave?
00:12:35Not leave, exactly.
00:12:37He hedged.
00:12:39Just...
00:12:40Maybe it's time to think about your future.
00:12:42You could get your own apartment.
00:12:44Live your life.
00:12:46Jacob nodded enthusiastically.
00:12:49Exactly.
00:12:50Or you could take the laundry room if you really want to stay.
00:12:53We just need a proper bedroom.
00:12:56The words hung in the air like poison.
00:12:58I looked at my father.
00:13:00The man I'd spent the last five years caring for.
00:13:03The man whose medical bills I'd paid without complaint.
00:13:06Whose medications I'd picked up every month.
00:13:09Whose doctor's appointments I'd rearranged my work schedule to attend.
00:13:13And he was telling me to move to the laundry room.
00:13:16Or leave.
00:13:17You can move to the laundry room.
00:13:19Or leave.
00:13:21Dad said finally, unable to meet my eyes.
00:13:25You understand, don't you?
00:13:28You understand, don't you?
00:13:30Jacob repeated, smirking.
00:13:33He actually smirked.
00:13:35Like this was all some kind of game he'd won.
00:13:38I didn't cry.
00:13:39I didn't yell.
00:13:41I just walked back to that miserable laundry room.
00:13:44Packed my clothes into the two suitcases I'd brought from college.
00:13:47And called my friend Kelly.
00:13:50She'd been telling me for months that I could crash at her place any time.
00:13:54I'd always laughed it off.
00:13:55Never thinking I'd actually need to take her up on it.
00:13:59Come over.
00:14:00Kelly said immediately when I explained the situation.
00:14:03Stay as long as you need.
00:14:06An hour later, I was loading my car.
00:14:10Dad came outside as I was putting the last suitcase in the trunk.
00:14:15Camilla, you don't have to do this right now.
00:14:18Sleep on it.
00:14:18We can talk more tomorrow.
00:14:21There's nothing to talk about.
00:14:23I said calmly.
00:14:24You made your choice.
00:14:27Jacob and Stephanie need the space more than I do.
00:14:30I get it.
00:14:31It's not like that.
00:14:34It's exactly like that.
00:14:36I close the trunk.
00:14:38I'll still help with your medications, Dad.
00:14:41I'm not abandoning you.
00:14:43But I'm not staying where I'm not wanted.
00:14:46I drove to Kelly's apartment in Midtown, my hands shaking on the steering wheel.
00:14:51Kelly had a spare bedroom she'd been using for storage, and she helped me clear it out that night.
00:14:57We didn't talk much.
00:14:59She just hugged me when I finally broke down crying at midnight.
00:15:03The next few days were a blur.
00:15:05I went to work, came home to Kelly's, and tried to figure out what to do next.
00:15:10I'd been paying for everything at Dad's house, which meant my savings account was pretty thin.
00:15:15I'd need to find my own place eventually, but apartments in Kansas City weren't cheap.
00:15:21On the fourth day after I left, I got a call from Dad.
00:15:25His voice sounded off.
00:15:28Camilla, I need your help with something.
00:15:31What is it?
00:15:33I'm trying to refill my prescriptions, but the pharmacy says there's an issue with payment.
00:15:37They're saying the card on file was declined.
00:15:40My stomach tightened.
00:15:42That's my card, Dad.
00:15:43I haven't had a chance to update it yet with my new address.
00:15:47Can you call them?
00:15:49I need these medications.
00:15:50I'm almost out.
00:15:52Sure.
00:15:53I'll take care of it.
00:15:54I hung up and sat there on Kelly's couch, staring at my phone.
00:15:59Then something occurred to me.
00:16:02A conversation I'd had with Dad years ago, right after his diagnosis, came flooding back.
00:16:09He'd been stressed about the cost of everything until I explained that I'd handle it.
00:16:14But somewhere in that conversation, he'd made an assumption.
00:16:18Thank goodness for Medicare, he'd said.
00:16:22At least that covers most of it.
00:16:25I'd started to correct him, to explain that Medicare didn't cover everything, and that the supplemental plan and prescriptions were
00:16:31expensive, but he'd been so relieved that I'd let it slide.
00:16:35Over time, I realized he'd somehow convinced himself that the government was covering his health care costs.
00:16:42He never asked about the bills.
00:16:44Never questioned where the money came from.
00:16:47He just assumed, and Jacob and Stephanie definitely assumed it, too.
00:16:52That conversation at Thanksgiving about me throwing money at the problem made that clear.
00:16:58They thought I was just contributing some extra cash here and there, not that I was literally paying for everything.
00:17:05I called Kelly over.
00:17:08I need to show you something.
00:17:10I pulled up my bank statements from the past three years on my laptop.
00:17:14The numbers were staggering when you looked at them all together.
00:17:18Dad's medications alone ran about $800 a month.
00:17:22Then there was his supplemental insurance premium, another $300.
00:17:26The mortgage payment was $900.
00:17:29Utilities averaged $200.
00:17:31Groceries, gas, household expenses, another $400 at minimum.
00:17:38Camilla, Kelly breathed, looking at the screen.
00:17:42You've been paying over $2,500 a month?
00:17:46Sometimes more.
00:17:48When he needed the endocrinologist visits, those were expensive even with insurance.
00:17:53Does your dad know?
00:17:55Does Jacob?
00:17:57I don't think so.
00:17:58Dad never asked about the bills.
00:18:01He just assumed Medicare covered everything.
00:18:03And Jacob's never been involved enough to know any different.
00:18:07Kelly sat back.
00:18:09So they kicked you out, thinking you were just helping a little bit, not realizing you were funding his entire
00:18:16life?
00:18:17Pretty much.
00:18:19What are you going to do?
00:18:21I thought about it for a long moment.
00:18:24The vindictive part of me wanted them to figure it out the hard way.
00:18:28But the responsible part, the part that still loved my dad despite everything, knew I couldn't just abandon him.
00:18:36I'm going to talk to him, I said finally.
00:18:40But not yet.
00:18:42Let them handle things for a few weeks.
00:18:44Let them see what it actually costs to take care of dad.
00:18:48Then we'll have a conversation about expectations and responsibilities.
00:18:53Kelly grinned.
00:18:54I like this plan.
00:18:57The pharmacy called again the next day.
00:18:59And the day after that.
00:19:01Each time I told them I was working on the payment issue.
00:19:05By day seven, dad called me three times in one day.
00:19:10Camilla.
00:19:11I really need those medications.
00:19:13The pharmacy says they can't fill them without payment.
00:19:16I know, dad.
00:19:18I'm figuring it out.
00:19:20Can't you just call them with your card number?
00:19:23It's not that simple.
00:19:25There are some things I need to take care of first.
00:19:28He sounded frustrated.
00:19:30I don't understand why this is so complicated.
00:19:33Can't Jacob just pay for it and you reimburse him?
00:19:37There it was.
00:19:38The assumption that these medications cost maybe fifty or a hundred dollars, not the eight hundred
00:19:44they actually ran.
00:19:47Sure, dad.
00:19:48Have Jacob call the pharmacy and put his card on file.
00:19:52Jacob called me two hours later, and his voice had none of the smug confidence it had carried
00:19:57on Thanksgiving.
00:19:59Camilla, what the hell?
00:20:00The pharmacy just quoted me eight hundred dollars for dad's medications.
00:20:05That can't be right.
00:20:06I kept my voice steady.
00:20:09That's the monthly cost.
00:20:11Sometimes it's more, depending on what the doctor prescribes.
00:20:15Eight hundred dollars?
00:20:16Are you serious?
00:20:17I thought Medicare covered this stuff.
00:20:20Medicare Part B covers some things.
00:20:22The supplemental plan covers more.
00:20:24But there are still co-pays and medications that aren't fully covered.
00:20:28The diabetes medications alone are expensive.
00:20:32How long have you been paying this?
00:20:34Every month for the past three years.
00:20:37Silence on the other end.
00:20:38I could practically hear the calculations running through his head.
00:20:42That's like...
00:20:43That's almost ten thousand dollars a year just on medications.
00:20:47More, actually.
00:20:49When you factor in the doctor visits and the supplemental insurance premium.
00:20:54More silence.
00:20:56Then...
00:20:57Why didn't you tell us?
00:20:58Why didn't dad tell us?
00:21:00Dad doesn't know the actual numbers.
00:21:03He thinks Medicare handles everything.
00:21:05I never corrected him because...
00:21:07What was the point?
00:21:08The bills needed to be paid regardless of who knew about them.
00:21:13Well...
00:21:13We can't afford eight hundred dollars right now.
00:21:16We just moved across the country.
00:21:18We've got expenses.
00:21:20Then I guess you'll need to figure something out.
00:21:22I said calmly.
00:21:24Maybe talk to dad about applying for assistance programs.
00:21:27Or look into cheaper generic alternatives.
00:21:30The pharmacist can help with that.
00:21:32Camilla, come on.
00:21:33You can't just stop paying for this.
00:21:36He needs these medications.
00:21:39I'm not stopping permanently.
00:21:41I'm just taking a break while you and Stephanie handle things.
00:21:44You said you were there to help him.
00:21:47This is helping.
00:21:49That's not what I meant.
00:21:50And you know it.
00:21:52Then what did you mean, Jacob?
00:21:54When you said you were there to really help.
00:21:57Not just throw money at the problem.
00:21:59What exactly did you think helping looked like?
00:22:02He didn't have an answer for that.
00:22:05I hung up and immediately felt guilty.
00:22:07But Kelly, who'd been listening to the whole conversation, shook her head.
00:22:12Don't you dare feel bad.
00:22:14They literally kicked you out of your home.
00:22:16They can handle dad's bills for a few weeks.
00:22:19She was right.
00:22:20But it didn't make the guilt go away.
00:22:23That night, I couldn't sleep.
00:22:25I kept imagining dad without his blood pressure medication, his glucose levels spiking, ending
00:22:31up in the emergency room.
00:22:32By three in the morning, I'd convinced myself I was being cruel.
00:22:37But then my phone buzzed with a text from Stephanie.
00:22:40This is ridiculous.
00:22:42Your father's health is at stake and you're playing games.
00:22:46Grow up.
00:22:47The guilt evaporated.
00:22:49I turned off my phone and went to sleep.
00:22:52The next morning, I got a call from dad's doctor's office.
00:22:56They needed to confirm his appointment for the following week and verify insurance information.
00:23:00I'd always handled his appointments, keeping everything organized in a binder I'd left behind
00:23:05at the house.
00:23:07I'm not managing his care anymore, I told the receptionist.
00:23:11You'll need to speak with Jacob or Stephanie.
00:23:13Oh.
00:23:15Okay.
00:23:16Do you have their contact information?
00:23:18I gave them Jacob's number and hung up.
00:23:21An hour later, Jacob texted.
00:23:24Why is dad's doctor calling me?
00:23:26Where's his insurance card?
00:23:28Where are his medical records?
00:23:30I didn't respond.
00:23:33Two days later, the mortgage payment bounced.
00:23:36I'd been paying it directly from my account through automatic withdrawal, but I'd canceled
00:23:41that the day after I moved out.
00:23:43The bank called dad, who called me in a panic.
00:23:47Camilla, the bank says the mortgage payment didn't go through.
00:23:51There must be some mistake.
00:23:53It's not a mistake, dad.
00:23:55I canceled the automatic payment.
00:23:58Why would you do that?
00:24:00The house could go into foreclosure.
00:24:02Then Jacob and Stephanie should make the payment.
00:24:05It's nine hundred dollars, due on the first of the month.
00:24:09Nine hundred dollars?
00:24:11I thought it was less than that.
00:24:13It's been nine hundred for years, dad.
00:24:15I've been paying it every month.
00:24:18The silence on his end was deafening.
00:24:21Finally, he said quietly,
00:24:23How much have you been paying altogether?
00:24:25For what?
00:24:27For everything.
00:24:28The mortgage, the medications.
00:24:31All of it.
00:24:32I took a deep breath.
00:24:34Around twenty-five hundred to three thousand dollars a month, depending on the month.
00:24:38More when you had specialist appointments or needed extra medications.
00:24:43Twenty-five hundred?
00:24:45His voice trailed off.
00:24:47Camilla, I didn't know.
00:24:48I thought Medicare was covering most of it.
00:24:51I thought you were just helping with groceries and utilities.
00:24:54I know you thought that, dad.
00:24:56I didn't correct you because you were stressed enough about being sick.
00:25:00I figured it didn't matter as long as the bills were paid.
00:25:04But that's...
00:25:05Over the past three years, that's...
00:25:08Around ninety thousand dollars, give or take.
00:25:11He didn't say anything for a long moment.
00:25:13When he spoke again, his voice was shaky.
00:25:17I need to talk to Jacob.
00:25:19Good idea, I said and hung up.
00:25:23Kelly came home from work that evening to find me stress-eating ice cream on her couch.
00:25:27Rough day?
00:25:29I told dad how much I've actually been paying.
00:25:31I think he's in shock.
00:25:33Good.
00:25:34He should be.
00:25:36Kelly grabbed a spoon and joined me.
00:25:38What do you think Jacob's going to do?
00:25:41Probably panic.
00:25:42He and Stephanie have been living beyond their means for years.
00:25:45That's why they had to move back.
00:25:47There's no way they can afford to cover everything.
00:25:50So what's your endgame here?
00:25:52Just curious.
00:25:54I thought about it.
00:25:57Honestly, I want them to understand what I've been doing.
00:26:00I want them to appreciate that I wasn't just throwing money at a problem.
00:26:04I was sacrificing my own future, my own savings, my own life to take care of dad.
00:26:10And I want an apology for being treated like I was the burden.
00:26:14Fair enough.
00:26:16Think you'll get it?
00:26:17Probably not from Jacob.
00:26:19Maybe from dad.
00:26:20The next few days were quiet.
00:26:23Too quiet.
00:26:25No calls.
00:26:26No texts.
00:26:27Nothing.
00:26:28I started to worry that something had happened.
00:26:30That dad had ended up in the hospital or worse.
00:26:33But I forced myself to wait.
00:26:36They'd asked for this.
00:26:38They'd wanted me out of the way so they could handle things.
00:26:41On day 12 after I'd left, Stephanie showed up at Kelly's apartment.
00:26:46I saw her through the peephole, arms crossed, face furious.
00:26:51I almost didn't open the door.
00:26:54We need to talk, she said when I finally let her in.
00:26:58About what?
00:26:59About the fact that you've left your father high and dry.
00:27:03About the fact that his utilities are about to be shut off because apparently you were paying
00:27:08those too.
00:27:09About the fact that he's almost out of his medications and Jacob and I don't have $800
00:27:14to spare right now.
00:27:16I gestured for Stephanie to sit down, but she remained standing, her arms crossed tightly
00:27:22across her chest.
00:27:23Kelly had quietly moved to her bedroom to give us privacy, though I knew she was listening.
00:27:28You're right, I said calmly.
00:27:30I was paying the utilities, and the medications, and the mortgage, and the groceries, and pretty
00:27:37much everything else.
00:27:39Well, you can't just stop.
00:27:41That's abandonment.
00:27:43Is it?
00:27:44Because from where I'm standing, I was abandoned.
00:27:47Kicked out of my home so you two could have a comfortable bedroom.
00:27:51Told to sleep in the laundry room or leave.
00:27:53Those were my options, remember?
00:27:56Stephanie's face flushed.
00:27:58That was different.
00:27:59We needed the space.
00:28:01And I needed a home.
00:28:03But nobody cared about that.
00:28:06You're being dramatic.
00:28:07We didn't kick you out.
00:28:09We just suggested you might be more comfortable elsewhere.
00:28:13You threw away my lunch bag.
00:28:15You took over my bedroom.
00:28:16You treated me like hired help who was getting in the way.
00:28:19And when I finally left, nobody stopped me.
00:28:23Nobody said, wait, we need to talk about this.
00:28:27Nobody apologized.
00:28:28My voice was rising now.
00:28:30All the anger I'd been suppressing for weeks bubbling to the surface.
00:28:35You wanted me gone.
00:28:36So I'm gone.
00:28:38Now you get to handle everything I was handling.
00:28:41Your father could die without his medications.
00:28:45Then you better figure out how to pay for them.
00:28:48We don't have that kind of money right now.
00:28:50We're still recovering from Denver.
00:28:53And I don't have that kind of money anymore either.
00:28:56I've spent $90,000 over three years taking care of Dad.
00:29:00My savings are gone.
00:29:01I'm 27 years old with almost nothing in my bank account because I prioritized his health over my own future.
00:29:08I can't afford to keep doing this.
00:29:11Stephanie's expression shifted slightly.
00:29:14$90,000?
00:29:16Give or take.
00:29:17Want to see the bank statements?
00:29:20She sat down then, heavily, on Kelly's couch.
00:29:24Jacob said it was expensive.
00:29:26But I didn't realize.
00:29:28Nobody realized.
00:29:30That was the problem.
00:29:31You all assumed I was just chipping in a little here and there.
00:29:34You had no idea what it actually cost to keep Dad healthy and the house running.
00:29:39And instead of asking, instead of being grateful, you treated me like I was the problem.
00:29:46What do you want from us?
00:29:49Stephanie asked finally.
00:29:51I want an apology.
00:29:53I want acknowledgement of what I've done.
00:29:55And I want to know that if I come back to help, things will be different.
00:30:00Come back?
00:30:01You'd move back in.
00:30:03Maybe.
00:30:04Maybe.
00:30:05If I'm treated with respect.
00:30:07If my contributions are recognized.
00:30:09If I get my bedroom back.
00:30:11I paused.
00:30:12But honestly, Stephanie, I don't think that's going to happen.
00:30:16I think you and Jacob are going to resent me even more now that you know the truth.
00:30:21You're going to feel guilty and defensive, and that's going to turn into anger directed at me.
00:30:27She didn't deny it.
00:30:29That told me everything I needed to know.
00:30:32After Stephanie left, Kelly emerged from her bedroom.
00:30:36You handled that well.
00:30:38Did I?
00:30:40I feel like I just made everything worse.
00:30:43You set boundaries.
00:30:45That's healthy.
00:30:46That night, Dad called.
00:30:48His voice sounded older somehow.
00:30:51Tired in a way I'd never heard before.
00:30:54Camilla, I need to apologize.
00:30:57Okay.
00:30:59I had no idea how much you've been doing.
00:31:01No idea what you've been paying.
00:31:03Jacob showed me some numbers, and I...
00:31:05I couldn't believe it.
00:31:08All this time, I thought Medicare was covering things.
00:31:11I thought you were just helping out a little bit.
00:31:14I know, Dad.
00:31:16Why didn't you tell me?
00:31:18Because you were already stressed about being sick.
00:31:21I didn't want to add financial stress on top of that.
00:31:24I thought I was helping by just quietly taking care of things.
00:31:28You were helping.
00:31:29You've been saving my life, Camilla.
00:31:32Literally.
00:31:33And I repaid you by...
00:31:36His voice broke.
00:31:37By choosing Jacob over you.
00:31:40By letting them push you out.
00:31:42I'm so sorry.
00:31:44The apology should have felt better than it did.
00:31:48Instead, I just felt tired.
00:31:51What are you going to do, Dad?
00:31:53About the bills, the medications, everything?
00:31:56Jacob and I had a long talk.
00:31:58A really long talk.
00:32:00He's going to take over the mortgage payment.
00:32:03Stephanie is going to start paying for groceries.
00:32:06They're going to contribute while they're living here.
00:32:09That's good.
00:32:10But the medications.
00:32:12The insurance.
00:32:13The medical bills.
00:32:15Camilla.
00:32:16That's more than they can handle right now.
00:32:19They're already stretched thin.
00:32:21I talked to my doctor about cheaper alternatives,
00:32:24and we're working on that.
00:32:26I also applied for some assistance programs.
00:32:29But in the meantime...
00:32:32You want me to keep paying for the medications.
00:32:35Just until we figure out the assistance programs...
00:32:38I know I have no right to ask.
00:32:40I know I don't deserve your help after what I did.
00:32:44I closed my eyes.
00:32:46This was the moment I'd been dreading.
00:32:48The moment where I had to choose between holding my ground and taking care of my father.
00:32:54I'll pay for this month's medications.
00:32:56I said finally.
00:32:58Just this month.
00:32:59After that, you need to have a plan in place.
00:33:02The assistance programs.
00:33:03Cheaper alternatives.
00:33:05Whatever it takes.
00:33:06I can't keep draining my savings, Dad.
00:33:08I need to think about my own future.
00:33:11I understand.
00:33:13Thank you, Camilla.
00:33:14Thank you so much.
00:33:16But Dad?
00:33:17I'm not moving back.
00:33:19Not right now.
00:33:20Maybe not ever.
00:33:22I need space from all of this.
00:33:24I understand that, too.
00:33:26I don't blame you.
00:33:28After we hung up, I sat on Kelly's couch and cried.
00:33:32Not from sadness, exactly.
00:33:34But from the sheer emotional exhaustion of it all.
00:33:38Kelly sat beside me and didn't say anything.
00:33:41Just handed me tissues and let me cry.
00:33:45The next morning, I called the pharmacy and paid for Dad's medications.
00:33:49Eight hundred and forty-seven dollars that I couldn't really afford, but couldn't not pay.
00:33:55When I checked my bank balance afterward, I had less than two thousand dollars left in savings.
00:34:01Years of work.
00:34:02Years of sacrifice.
00:34:04And this is where I'd ended up.
00:34:07But something shifted in me that day.
00:34:09I realized I couldn't keep living like this.
00:34:12Couldn't keep putting everyone else first at the expense of my own well-being.
00:34:16I started looking for a second job.
00:34:18Something I could do on weekends to rebuild my savings.
00:34:22I also started looking for my own apartment.
00:34:25Something small and affordable that would be truly mine.
00:34:29Kelly found me scrolling through apartment listings that evening.
00:34:32You sure about this?
00:34:34You can stay here as long as you need.
00:34:37I know, and I'm grateful.
00:34:39But I need my own space.
00:34:41I need to build my own life, separate from all the drama with my family.
00:34:46Good for you.
00:34:48You deserve that.
00:34:50Two weeks later, I found a studio apartment in Midtown, not far from Kelly's place.
00:34:55It was small but clean, with hardwood floors and good natural light.
00:35:00The rent was manageable, especially with the weekend job I'd picked up doing administrative work for a catering company.
00:35:07Moving into my own place felt like starting over.
00:35:10I didn't have much furniture, just a bed, a small table, and some kitchen basics.
00:35:15But it was mine.
00:35:17Nobody could tell me to move to the laundry room.
00:35:20Nobody could throw away my things or rearrange my space.
00:35:23For the first time in weeks, I could breathe.
00:35:27Dad called a few days after I moved in.
00:35:31Camila, I got approved for one of the assistance programs.
00:35:34It's going to cover about 60% of my medication costs.
00:35:38That's great, Dad.
00:35:40It is.
00:35:41And Jacob and Stephanie have been contributing to the household expenses like they promised.
00:35:46Things are...
00:35:48better.
00:35:49I'm glad.
00:35:51Will you come over for dinner sometime?
00:35:53I'd like to see you.
00:35:54See your new place.
00:35:57Maybe.
00:35:57I need a little more time.
00:35:59He accepted that without argument, which surprised me.
00:36:03Maybe he was finally starting to understand the damage that had been done.
00:36:07But understanding didn't mean things were fixed.
00:36:10A week later, I got a call from Stephanie.
00:36:13We need to talk about Thanksgiving.
00:36:16Thanksgiving?
00:36:17That's months away.
00:36:19I'm planning early.
00:36:20I want to make sure everyone's on the same page.
00:36:23We'd like you to come, obviously.
00:36:25It would mean a lot to your father.
00:36:28I'll think about it.
00:36:30Also, we're going to need help with the cost of the meal.
00:36:33Jacob and I are still getting back on our feet financially.
00:36:35If you could contribute maybe $200 or $300 for groceries, that would help.
00:36:41I nearly laughed out loud.
00:36:43No.
00:36:44No.
00:36:45But you always help with family expenses.
00:36:48I'm not family anymore, remember?
00:36:51You made that pretty clear.
00:36:53Don't be ridiculous.
00:36:55Of course you're family.
00:36:57Family doesn't get kicked out of their home, Stephanie.
00:37:01Family doesn't get told to sleep in the laundry room.
00:37:04Family doesn't get their contributions ignored and dismissed.
00:37:08My voice was ice cold now.
00:37:10You want to host Thanksgiving?
00:37:12Great.
00:37:13You pay for it.
00:37:14I'm not your ATM.
00:37:16I hung up before she could respond.
00:37:18Kelly found me pacing my apartment afterward.
00:37:22What happened?
00:37:24Stephanie wanted me to pay for Thanksgiving dinner.
00:37:26Can you believe that?
00:37:28After everything, she actually had the nerve to ask me for money.
00:37:31What did you say?
00:37:33I said no.
00:37:35Emphatically.
00:37:36Kelly grinned.
00:37:38Good.
00:37:39You're learning.
00:37:40But the phone calls didn't stop.
00:37:43Over the next month, I got requests for help with various expenses.
00:37:46The water heater needed to be replaced.
00:37:49Could I chip in?
00:37:50The car needed new tires.
00:37:53Could I help?
00:37:54Dad needed to see a specialist.
00:37:56Could I cover the copay?
00:37:59Each time I said no.
00:38:00Each time it got a little easier.
00:38:04Then something unexpected happened.
00:38:06Jacob showed up at my apartment one Saturday morning, looking haggard and defeated.
00:38:11Can I come in?
00:38:12I almost said no.
00:38:15But something about his expression stopped me.
00:38:18He looked genuinely distressed.
00:38:20Not angry or entitled.
00:38:22Just tired.
00:38:24Fine.
00:38:25But I have plans in an hour, so make it quick.
00:38:28He sat at my small kitchen table and put his head in his hands.
00:38:32Stephanie left.
00:38:33What?
00:38:34She left.
00:38:36Went back to Denver three days ago.
00:38:38Said she couldn't handle living in Dad's house anymore.
00:38:41Couldn't handle Kansas City.
00:38:43Couldn't handle being broke.
00:38:45I sat down across from him, stunned.
00:38:48Are you serious?
00:38:50Dead serious.
00:38:52She said I could stay and deal with Dad on my own.
00:38:55She's filing for divorce.
00:38:58Jacob, I'm sorry.
00:39:00Don't be.
00:39:01She was right to leave.
00:39:03This whole thing has been a disaster from the start.
00:39:07He looked up at me, and I saw something I'd never seen in my brother's face before.
00:39:13Humility.
00:39:14I screwed up, Camilla.
00:39:16Big time.
00:39:18I thought moving back here would be easy.
00:39:20I thought Dad didn't need much help.
00:39:22I thought you were being dramatic about the bills and the expenses.
00:39:26I had no idea.
00:39:28And now you do.
00:39:30Now I do.
00:39:31And I'm drowning.
00:39:33The mortgage alone is killing me, and I'm still looking for steady work.
00:39:38I've got freelance gigs, but nothing permanent.
00:39:40I can't afford to keep living here, but I can't afford to leave either.
00:39:44What do you want from me, Jacob?
00:39:46Nothing.
00:39:47I'm not here to ask for money or help.
00:39:49I'm here to apologize.
00:39:52Really apologize, not just say the words.
00:39:54What Stephanie and I did to you was wrong.
00:39:57Kicking you out, taking your room, dismissing everything you'd done for Dad.
00:40:01It was all wrong.
00:40:03And I'm sorry.
00:40:05The apology hung in the air between us.
00:40:08Part of me wanted to throw it back in his face.
00:40:10To tell him it was too little too late.
00:40:13But another part of me,
00:40:15the part that remembered when we were kids and actually liked each other,
00:40:19wanted to believe he meant it.
00:40:21Thank you, I said finally.
00:40:24I appreciate that.
00:40:26I'm going to move out, he continued.
00:40:29I found a cheap room to rent across town.
00:40:32Dad's not happy about it, but I can't keep living there.
00:40:35I'll still help him with what I can,
00:40:37but I need to figure out my own life first.
00:40:40That's probably smart.
00:40:42Yeah.
00:40:43He stood to leave, then paused at the door.
00:40:46For what it's worth, you were a better child to Dad than I ever was.
00:40:50You actually showed up when it mattered.
00:40:54After he left, I sat in my quiet apartment and processed everything.
00:40:59Stephanie was gone.
00:41:00Jacob was moving out.
00:41:02Dad was essentially on his own again.
00:41:05And somehow, I didn't feel guilty about any of it.
00:41:09That night, Dad called.
00:41:12Jacob told you what happened?
00:41:14He did.
00:41:16I'm going to be by myself again.
00:41:18Jacob's moving out next week.
00:41:20I know.
00:41:22I was thinking, maybe you could move back.
00:41:25I know that's a lot to ask, but...
00:41:27No, Dad.
00:41:28No.
00:41:30I'm not moving back.
00:41:31I have my own place now.
00:41:33My own life.
00:41:34And I like it.
00:41:36But I need help.
00:41:37I can't manage everything on my own.
00:41:40Then hire help.
00:41:41There are services that help seniors with daily tasks, medication management, all of that.
00:41:46You can afford it now that you're not supporting two extra adults.
00:41:50That's not the same as family.
00:41:52Maybe not.
00:41:53But family is supposed to be a two-way street, Dad.
00:41:57It's not supposed to be one person sacrificing everything while everyone else takes and takes.
00:42:02I'm done sacrificing.
00:42:05I'm 27 years old, and I need to start living for myself.
00:42:10The silence on his end was long and uncomfortable.
00:42:13I understand, he said finally.
00:42:16I don't like it, but I understand.
00:42:20Three months after that conversation, I was thriving.
00:42:24The second job with the catering company had turned into a full-time opportunity as their office manager,
00:42:29which paid significantly more than my dental hygienist position.
00:42:33I kept both jobs, working some evening and weekend shifts at the dental clinic because I genuinely enjoyed it.
00:42:39But the financial security of two incomes changed everything.
00:42:43My savings account, which had been nearly empty, started to rebuild.
00:42:48I bought actual furniture for my apartment.
00:42:51I treated myself to things I'd denied myself for years, like decent clothes and the occasional dinner out with Kelly.
00:42:58For the first time since Mom died, I felt like I was living my own life instead of existing in
00:43:04service to someone else's needs.
00:43:06Dad and I spoke occasionally, brief phone calls where he'd update me on his health, and I'd offer polite responses.
00:43:14He'd figured out the assistance programs, found cheaper medication alternatives, and hired a part-time aide who helped with grocery
00:43:21shopping and household tasks.
00:43:23He was managing, though he made sure I knew it wasn't easy.
00:43:28Jacob had indeed moved out, and was slowly rebuilding his life.
00:43:31His divorce from Stephanie was proceeding, though not amicably.
00:43:37He'd found steady freelance work as a graphic designer, and seemed genuinely humbled by the whole experience.
00:43:43We'd grabbed coffee a few times, awkward attempts at rebuilding some kind of sibling relationship.
00:43:48But we weren't close.
00:43:50The damage ran too deep.
00:43:53Then, one Tuesday in February, I got a call from an unknown number.
00:43:59Is this Camilla?
00:44:01Yes.
00:44:02Who's this?
00:44:03This is Margaret from Community Home Health Services.
00:44:07I'm the aide assigned to help your father.
00:44:09I'm calling because I'm concerned about some things I've observed during my visits.
00:44:14My stomach tightened.
00:44:15What kind of things?
00:44:18Your father has mentioned several times that you abandoned him.
00:44:21That you refused to help him despite being financially capable.
00:44:25He's told me you're selfish, and that you've left him struggling while you live comfortably.
00:44:31I normally wouldn't get involved in family matters, but I thought you should know what he's been saying.
00:44:37Heat flooded my face.
00:44:40He said I abandoned him?
00:44:42Multiple times, he seems quite bitter about it.
00:44:46Did he mention that he kicked me out of the house to make room for my brother and sister-in
00:44:50-law?
00:44:51Or that I paid nearly all his expenses for three years before that happened?
00:44:56Margaret was quiet for a moment.
00:44:58No, he didn't mention any of that.
00:45:01Of course he didn't.
00:45:03I took a deep breath.
00:45:05Thank you for calling, Margaret.
00:45:07I appreciate you letting me know.
00:45:09After I hung up, I sat staring at my phone, anger building in my chest.
00:45:14Dad was telling people I'd abandoned him.
00:45:17He was painting himself as the victim, and me as the villain, conveniently leaving out every detail that made him
00:45:23look bad.
00:45:24I called Jacob.
00:45:26Have you talked to Dad lately?
00:45:29Yeah.
00:45:30Last week.
00:45:31Why?
00:45:32Has he been complaining about me to you?
00:45:35Jacob hesitated.
00:45:36He's mentioned that he wishes you were more involved.
00:45:40That he feels like you've cut him off.
00:45:43He's telling his home health aide that I abandoned him.
00:45:45That I'm selfish and refusing to help.
00:45:48Camilla?
00:45:49I'm sure he's just...
00:45:51Just what?
00:45:52Just rewriting history to make himself look good?
00:45:55Just playing the victim after he kicked his own daughter out?
00:45:59My voice was shaking now.
00:46:02I gave him three years of my life, Jacob.
00:46:04Three years and ninety thousand dollars.
00:46:07I put my own future on hold to take care of him.
00:46:09And this is how he repays me?
00:46:12What are you going to do?
00:46:15I don't know yet, but I'm done protecting his feelings.
00:46:19That weekend I drafted a detailed email.
00:46:21I included scanned bank statements showing every payment I'd made over the past three years.
00:46:27Mortgage payments.
00:46:28Utility bills.
00:46:30Medication receipts.
00:46:32Insurance premiums.
00:46:33Everything.
00:46:35I wrote a timeline of events.
00:46:37From the day Jacob and Stephanie moved in to the day I moved out.
00:46:41I included the text messages from Stephanie calling me ridiculous for not paying for Dad's medications immediately.
00:46:46Then I sent it to Dad, Jacob, and a few extended family members, who Dad had apparently been complaining to
00:46:53about my supposed abandonment.
00:46:55Aunts, uncles, cousins who'd been hearing his one-sided story.
00:46:58The subject line read,
00:47:01Setting the record straight.
00:47:03The email was clinical and factual.
00:47:06No emotional appeals.
00:47:08No dramatics.
00:47:09Just dates, amounts, and receipts.
00:47:12The numbers spoke for themselves.
00:47:14The responses started coming in within hours.
00:47:18My Aunt Patricia called first.
00:47:21Camilla, I had no idea.
00:47:23Your father made it sound like you'd just stopped caring about him.
00:47:27I'm sure he did.
00:47:28These numbers.
00:47:30Honey, this is incredible.
00:47:32You've been supporting him all this time.
00:47:34I was, until I couldn't anymore.
00:47:37I'm so sorry.
00:47:39We've been feeling sorry for him.
00:47:41And all along.
00:47:43All along, I was the one being taken advantage of.
00:47:48More calls and emails followed.
00:47:51Family members who'd heard Dad's version of events were shocked by the reality.
00:47:55Some apologized for believing him without question.
00:47:58Others just expressed disbelief at the amounts I'd been paying.
00:48:02Dad didn't call.
00:48:04Not that day.
00:48:05Not the next.
00:48:07But a week later, I got a text from him.
00:48:10We need to talk.
00:48:11In person.
00:48:13I waited two days before responding.
00:48:16Fine.
00:48:17Kelly's Coffee Shop on Main Street.
00:48:19Saturday at 2 p.m.
00:48:21Saturday arrived cold and gray.
00:48:23Typical February weather in Kansas City.
00:48:26I got to Kelly's Coffee Shop 15 minutes early,
00:48:29and claimed a corner table where I could see the door.
00:48:31My stomach was in knots.
00:48:33But I'd mentally rehearsed this conversation a dozen times.
00:48:37I knew what I wanted to say.
00:48:39Dad walked in exactly at 2 p.m., looking older than I remembered.
00:48:44The past few months had aged him.
00:48:47He spotted me and made his way over slowly, leaning heavily on his cane.
00:48:53Thank you for meeting me, he said, sitting down across from me.
00:48:58You said we needed to talk.
00:48:59So talk.
00:49:01He flinched at my tone.
00:49:03That email you sent.
00:49:05That was unnecessary.
00:49:07Was it?
00:49:08Because from what I hear, you've been telling everyone who will listen that I abandoned you.
00:49:12That seems pretty unnecessary, too.
00:49:15I was venting.
00:49:16I was hurt.
00:49:18You were lying.
00:49:19I leaned forward.
00:49:21You left out every single detail that made you look bad.
00:49:25You didn't mention kicking me out.
00:49:27You didn't mention the money I'd spent.
00:49:29You just painted yourself as a poor, abandoned father and me as the selfish daughter.
00:49:34Did you really think I'd just let you do that?
00:49:37I didn't think you'd air our family's private business to everyone.
00:49:42It stopped being private when you started spreading lies about me.
00:49:46You made this public, Dad.
00:49:48I just corrected the record.
00:49:51He was quiet for a moment, stirring his coffee without drinking it.
00:49:56I was angry.
00:49:58You have to understand.
00:50:00From my perspective, you just left.
00:50:02You stopped helping.
00:50:04I felt abandoned.
00:50:06You told me to move to the laundry room or leave.
00:50:09Those were my only options.
00:50:11What did you expect me to do?
00:50:14I expected you to understand that we were family.
00:50:17That we work through problems together.
00:50:20Like how you and Jacob and Stephanie worked through the problem of me being in the way.
00:50:25By kicking me out?
00:50:28We didn't kick you out.
00:50:29We just needed the space.
00:50:32Dad, stop.
00:50:35I set down my coffee cup harder than I intended.
00:50:38Just stop rewriting history.
00:50:40You chose them over me.
00:50:42You let them take my room, my space, my home.
00:50:46And when I left, none of you tried to stop me.
00:50:50You all seemed relieved I was gone.
00:50:53That's not true.
00:50:55Isn't it?
00:50:56Tell me honestly.
00:50:57When I loaded up my car and drove away, were you sad?
00:51:01Or were you relieved that the awkward situation was resolved?
00:51:05He didn't answer, which was answer enough.
00:51:09Here's what I don't understand, I continued.
00:51:13I spent three years taking care of you.
00:51:16I sacrificed my savings, my social life, my own future, to make sure you were okay.
00:51:22And the minute your golden child showed up needing something, you threw me away like I was nothing.
00:51:27Like those three years meant nothing.
00:51:30They did mean something.
00:51:32You meant something.
00:51:34Not enough, apparently.
00:51:36Dad's hands shook as he wrapped them around his coffee cup.
00:51:40What do you want from me, Camilla?
00:51:42An apology?
00:51:44Fine.
00:51:45I'm sorry.
00:51:46I'm sorry for all of it.
00:51:48I don't want an apology.
00:51:51Not anymore.
00:51:52I wanted one three months ago when it might have mattered.
00:51:55Now I just want you to understand what you did and stop playing the victim.
00:51:59I do understand.
00:52:01That email made everything very clear.
00:52:04You've been more than generous.
00:52:07Generous.
00:52:08I almost laughed.
00:52:10Is that what we're calling it now?
00:52:11Not sacrifice?
00:52:13Not dedication?
00:52:14Just generosity.
00:52:15Like I was doing you a favor instead of acting as your daughter.
00:52:19What do you want me to say?
00:52:21I want you to admit that you took me for granted.
00:52:24I want you to admit that you treated me like I was expendable while treating Jacob like he was precious.
00:52:29I want you to admit that you failed me as a father.
00:52:33The words hung heavy between us.
00:52:35Dad's face crumpled.
00:52:37And for a moment, I thought he might cry.
00:52:40You're right, he said quietly.
00:52:44I did take you for granted.
00:52:46I did treat Jacob differently.
00:52:49I've always treated him differently.
00:52:51Why?
00:52:53Because he needed it more.
00:52:55He was always struggling, always needing help.
00:52:58You were always so capable.
00:53:01So together.
00:53:02You didn't seem to need anything from me.
00:53:05Everyone needs their father, Dad.
00:53:07Even capable daughters.
00:53:09Maybe especially capable daughters who keep carrying everyone else's weight.
00:53:14I see that now.
00:53:16Do you?
00:53:17Or are you just saying what you think I want to hear?
00:53:20He looked me straight in the eye.
00:53:23I see it now.
00:53:24And I'm ashamed.
00:53:26You deserved better from me.
00:53:28You deserved better than being treated like the family ATM.
00:53:31You deserved better than being kicked out of your home.
00:53:34You deserved a father who appreciated you instead of taking advantage of you.
00:53:39It was the most honest thing he'd said in years.
00:53:42Maybe ever.
00:53:44Thank you for saying that.
00:53:47Does it change anything?
00:53:49I considered the question carefully.
00:53:52It doesn't change what happened.
00:53:54But it means something that you can finally see it.
00:53:57Can we start over?
00:53:59Build something better?
00:54:01Maybe eventually.
00:54:02But not now.
00:54:03I need more time.
00:54:05And I need you to understand that our relationship going forward is going to look very different.
00:54:10I'm not your caretaker anymore.
00:54:13I'm not your financial support.
00:54:15I'm your daughter.
00:54:17And that's all I can be right now.
00:54:20I understand.
00:54:22Do you?
00:54:24Because understanding means not calling me when the bills are tight.
00:54:28Understanding means not guilt-tripping me about not visiting enough.
00:54:32Understanding means letting me live my own life without making me feel bad about it.
00:54:37Yes.
00:54:38I understand.
00:54:40We finished our coffee in uncomfortable silence.
00:54:43But it felt like something had shifted.
00:54:46Not fixed.
00:54:47Maybe never fully fixed.
00:54:48But shifted towards something more honest.
00:54:51As I drove home, I felt lighter somehow.
00:54:55The anger I'd been carrying for months had loosened its grip.
00:54:59I'd said what I needed to say.
00:55:01And Dad had actually listened.
00:55:03That was more than I'd expected.
00:55:06Life moved forward.
00:55:08Spring arrived in Kansas City.
00:55:10Bringing warmer weather and new possibilities.
00:55:12The catering company promoted me to operations manager, which came with a significant raise.
00:55:18I started taking community college classes in business management, thinking about maybe opening my own catering business someday.
00:55:26Kelly had become more than just a friend who'd given me a place to crash.
00:55:30She'd become my chosen family.
00:55:32The person who showed up for me without being asked.
00:55:35Who supported me without expecting anything in return.
00:55:37Dad and I spoke once a week.
00:55:39Brief calls where we kept things surface level.
00:55:42He'd stopped complaining about his situation, and stopped asking for money.
00:55:47Progress.
00:55:48Even if it was small.
00:55:51Jacob had slowly become a better brother.
00:55:53Not perfect.
00:55:55But better.
00:55:56He'd learned from his mistakes with Stephanie, was seeing a therapist, and working on himself.
00:56:02We weren't close, but we were civil, and occasionally we'd grab lunch and have real conversations.
00:56:08Then one day in June, I got a call from Aunt Patricia.
00:56:13Camilla, I wanted to let you know something.
00:56:16Your father's been telling people about what really happened.
00:56:19About how much you did for him.
00:56:21How you supported him for years.
00:56:23How badly he treated you.
00:56:26He has?
00:56:28Yes.
00:56:29He's not making excuses anymore.
00:56:32He's being honest about his mistakes.
00:56:34I thought you'd want to know.
00:56:37After we hung up, I sat with that information for a while.
00:56:41Dad was finally telling the truth.
00:56:43Not to win me back.
00:56:45Not to make himself look better.
00:56:47Just because it was the truth.
00:56:49A week later, he called.
00:56:51Would you come to dinner?
00:56:53I'm making pot roast.
00:56:55Your favorite.
00:56:56Just you and me?
00:56:57Just us.
00:56:59No ambushes.
00:57:00No guilt trips.
00:57:01Just dinner with your old man.
00:57:03I went.
00:57:05The house looked different without Jacob and Stephanie's clutter everywhere.
00:57:09Dad had cleaned it up.
00:57:11Made it feel more like a home again.
00:57:13My old bedroom had been turned into a guest room.
00:57:17Neutral and impersonal.
00:57:19Dinner was good.
00:57:20We talked about safe topics at first.
00:57:22My jobs.
00:57:24His health.
00:57:25The weather.
00:57:25Then, as we were cleaning up, Dad said something unexpected.
00:57:30I've been thinking about selling the house.
00:57:33Really?
00:57:34It's too big for just me.
00:57:37Too many memories.
00:57:38Too much maintenance.
00:57:39I found a nice senior apartment complex across town.
00:57:43One bedroom.
00:57:44All on one floor.
00:57:45Easier to manage.
00:57:47I think it's time.
00:57:49That sounds like a good idea.
00:57:51The equity from the house will help me be more financially stable.
00:57:55I won't need to rely on anyone.
00:57:57He paused.
00:57:59I won't need to take advantage of my daughter's generosity anymore.
00:58:03Dad.
00:58:04Let me finish.
00:58:05I've been selfish.
00:58:07For years, I've been selfish.
00:58:09Not just with you, but with myself.
00:58:12I've been making excuses instead of making changes.
00:58:15That stops now.
00:58:17I'm taking responsibility for my own life.
00:58:21I felt tears prick my eyes.
00:58:23I'm proud of you.
00:58:26I should be saying that to you.
00:58:28You've done something incredible with your life, despite everything.
00:58:32You're stronger than I ever was.
00:58:34We hugged then, really hugged, for the first time in almost a year.
00:58:40Six months later, I stood in the living room of my new apartment.
00:58:45Not the studio, but a real one-bedroom place with a balcony and enough space to actually entertain.
00:58:51Kelly was helping me hang pictures on the walls.
00:58:55This place is perfect, she said, stepping back to admire our work.
00:59:01It really is.
00:59:03My phone buzzed with a text from Dad.
00:59:06Settled into the new apartment.
00:59:08It's perfect.
00:59:09Thank you for helping me pick it out.
00:59:12I'd gone with him to tour senior living options, offering advice but letting him make the final decision.
00:59:18Our relationship had evolved into something healthier.
00:59:21Boundaried, but warm.
00:59:23Jacob texted in our sibling group chat.
00:59:26Dinner this weekend.
00:59:27My treat.
00:59:28Want to celebrate your promotion.
00:59:30The catering company had made me a partner, giving me a stake in the business and a path toward eventually
00:59:36opening my own location.
00:59:38I looked around my apartment, at the life I'd built from scratch after losing everything.
00:59:43The furniture I'd saved up for.
00:59:45The degree I was working toward.
00:59:47The career that was finally taking off.
00:59:50None of it would have happened if I'd stayed in that house.
00:59:53Stayed in that role of the sacrificial daughter who gave everything and received nothing.
00:59:58Getting kicked out had been the best thing that ever happened to me.
01:00:02Jacob eventually found steady work and started contributing to Dad's care in meaningful ways.
01:00:08Stephanie remarried in Denver, and from what I heard was someone else's problem now.
01:00:14Dad thrived in his senior apartment, making friends, and finally taking responsibility for his own well-being.
01:00:21As for me, I learned that setting boundaries wasn't selfish.
01:00:25That walking away from toxicity wasn't abandonment.
01:00:29That sometimes the greatest act of love is loving yourself enough to leave.
01:00:34I'd spent years being the good daughter, and where had it gotten me?
01:00:38Kicked out and broke.
01:00:40Now I was the daughter who chose herself, and I'd never been happier.
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