00:09It's summer in Warrnable, and there's one question on everyone's mind.
00:13Where do I get the best potato cake in town?
00:17For the past month, that very question has consumed, pardon the pun, my every waking thought.
00:22So selflessly, bravely, and with absolutely no regard to my long-term health, I dedicated myself to answering that question.
00:31While others trained for fun runs or worked on their beach bodies, I trained my taste buds.
00:36I studied batter. I battled wildlife.
00:39I ate potato cakes in my car, in the wind, and occasionally far too quickly, all in the name of
00:45journalism.
00:46Over the past four weeks, I taste-tested potato cakes from across Warrnable, using the completely subjective and wildly unscientific
00:54crisp scale, rating each one on crunch, ratio of potato to batter, ingredients and seasoning, size, and price.
01:01For fairness, each venue was judged on a single potato cake with plain salt, although salt variety is rewarded because
01:08choice matters.
01:09So, after a month of research, reflection, and far too much fried potato, here are the top five potato cakes
01:17in Warrnable.
01:20Hanna Street Fish and Chips. A solid, dependable potato cake.
01:24This one comes in golden, but the thicker cut potato pushes it slightly into chewy territory.
01:30Less snap, more commitment.
01:33The ratio leans four to one potato to batter, which will appeal to people who like to feel like they're
01:38eating a vegetable.
01:40Salt options, yes.
01:41Size, respectable.
01:42About nine by six centimetres.
01:45Price, two dollars, which, in this economy, feels emotionally challenging.
01:50Harry's Fish and Chips.
01:52Harry's delivers a potato cake with ambition.
01:55Crunch sits at about four out of five.
01:57Not shatteringly crisp, but confidently crunchy.
02:01Classic three to one ratio, salt options available, with a long-ish build, 7 by 11 centimetres, which gives it
02:08reach.
02:08At $1.60, it's good value.
02:11The Beach Kiosk.
02:13This one understands crunch on a spiritual level.
02:16Top-tier crunch, you hear it before you taste it.
02:19The ratio pushes to four to one, meaning more potato presence, but still wrapped in a confident shell.
02:26It's a rotund, a proper 10 by 10 centimetre circle.
02:29Like the full moon of potato cakes.
02:32Salt options, yes.
02:33Price, two dollars fifty, which is steep.
02:36But, you're paying for the beachfront real estate.
02:39Eat this while staring at the ocean and questioning your life choices.
02:44Dennington Fish and Chips.
02:45A true golden crunch.
02:47Textbook stuff.
02:48The three to one ratio is spot on.
02:50A real purist potato cake.
02:52Salt options available.
02:54Though it was judged on plain salt like the honourable competitor it is.
02:58Size, 11 centimetres.
03:00This thing has a wingspan.
03:03Price, $1.80, which feels almost generous.
03:07Dennington is reliable, confident, and knows exactly who it is.
03:11Parker's Fish and Chips.
03:12The potato cake that made this whole journey worth the cholesterol screening.
03:16Golden crunch with no weak spots.
03:18Perfect three to one ratio.
03:20Harmony.
03:21Balance.
03:22You get both salt and chicken salt options.
03:25It's on the small side, around 10 by 5 centimetres.
03:29But listen, greatness is not measured in size.
03:32And the price?
03:33$1.50.
03:34In this economy?
03:36Parker's delivers maximum crunch, minimum nonsense, and leaves you thinking about it
03:40hours later.
03:42So there you have it.
03:44Warrnambool's top five potato cakes.
03:46Ranked, judged, and bravely eaten.
03:47I've trained.
03:48I've tasted.
03:49I've sacrificed my arteries for the truth.
03:52Now if you'll excuse me, I need a walk, and possibly a nap.
04:00We'll see you next time.
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