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00:00:11there's a rhythm in Detroit been there forever back when jazz spilled into the
00:00:18streets at 2 a.m. when Motown's heartbeat was Barry, Stevie, Aretha, Marvin, Diana
00:00:25and the Supremes that rhythm it never left and that's fly for me fly is
00:00:32unapologetic and needs no endorsement it's chandelier bright and chandelier
00:00:37strong first time I touched Detroit was 78 I was a kid on a visit now I'm a woman
00:00:46on a mission Detroit I'm back I am some more and this is chandelier fly
00:01:13I am absolutely loving it man y'all giving me some love I love that
00:01:29I like that thank y'all yes listen y'all giving me that real love y'all giving me that
00:01:38Frankie Beverly
00:01:39love out here I like that that's indeed listen I personally think that Frankie Beverly song
00:01:48Before I Let Go should be the new black national anthem I do whenever 50 or more black people get
00:01:55together we should have to sing that shit that's right and for the white people in the house that
00:01:59don't understand what I'm talking about Before I Let Go by Frankie Beverly is equivalent to y'all's sweet
00:02:11and you gotta admit listen Frankie was a vibe Frankie was a whole vibe and black people all over the
00:02:23country love Frankie Beverly we love Frankie so much we knew two years before Frankie passed that he wasn't 100
00:02:31%
00:02:32but we still went to the show but we still went to the show and sang all the songs for
00:02:37Frankie
00:02:38you laid out your white shit you went to the show and sang the damn song keep it real we
00:02:47gave Frankie
00:02:48Beverly the Luther Vandross pass that's right Eric let me tell you something black people love Luther Vandross it ain't
00:02:56a
00:02:56motherfucker in here over 40 that would admit that Luther was gay Luther could show up in concert in a
00:03:06full gown we'll be sitting in that bitch like they must have lost his luggage at the airport we'll never
00:03:13admit that Luther was gay even if somebody press it we'll be like what the fuck that got to do
00:03:19with it
00:03:22see black love you defend black love listen when you love black black artists you defend that shit
00:03:27like one time I had to defend Usher outfit Usher did a show Usher showed up with a blouse a
00:03:36brooch and some
00:03:38church lady gloves on and I was fucked up I ain't gonna lie I was fucked up first of all
00:03:45I'm old enough to
00:03:46know the difference between a shirt and a blouse Usher had on a motherfucking blouse
00:03:55and I was fucked up and here's the thing it really wasn't the blouse because I think I seen Al
00:04:00Green once or twice with the blouse on back in the day but it was the blouse the brooch and
00:04:07the church
00:04:08lady glove combination that had me fucked up I'm sitting there like why the fuck is Usher dressed
00:04:16like one of the golden girls what the fuck is going on and here's the thing I love Usher never
00:04:24ever
00:04:24for one day ever still to this day do I ever think that Usher was gay but whoever picked out
00:04:30that blouse is gay as a bitch because you ain't never seen no homeboy say no shit like this
00:04:38nigga go with the blouse ain't no homeboy suggested no blouse
00:04:46but Usher had on a motherfucking blouse and I'm gonna tell you why I defended it
00:04:51because I personally think that Usher is our modern day Billy Dee Williams
00:04:58I do listen y'all Billy Dee Williams I remember Billy Dee Williams
00:05:01listen I'm looking around the room most of the people here are old enough to know who the
00:05:06fuck Billy Dee Williams is
00:05:10and my grandmother and my mother love some Billy Dee Williams
00:05:15listen Billy Dee Williams was the most smooth charismatic black man on tv you ever want to see
00:05:20his skin was cocoa brown he had a voice was deep and sexy and smooth he had an afro that
00:05:27bitch was dry but it was wet but it was curly at the same goddamn time we had never seen
00:05:33no shit like
00:05:34that Billy Dee Williams was the shit and as smooth as Billy Dee Williams was you would think that he
00:05:41would be the face of like a cognac or brandy or champagne but Billy Dee Williams was the face
00:05:51of some of the cheapest shit you could buy Coke 45
00:05:58malt liquor if you drink that shit hot you'll fight everybody in this bitch
00:06:07and my grandmother loved him and because my grandmother loved him my granddaddy couldn't stand his ass
00:06:14my granddaddy didn't like him so much he only drank half a can and threw the rest of the
00:06:19shit away like but that's how I look at usher like our Billy Dee Williams and we give him love
00:06:29listen we give him black love ladies and gentlemen I've been doing stand-up comedy for over 30 years
00:06:33I get love let me tell you something I know what black love is I travel this country and black
00:06:45people
00:06:45love me when I tell you black people love me they love me they really do
00:06:55I don't care what city I'm in if I'm in the hood and I go to any McDonald's and they
00:07:01know it's me
00:07:02oh they gonna put a filet of fish in the bag they gonna up the nuggets and throw a filet
00:07:08of fish in
00:07:09the bag that's just what it is that's what it is
00:07:14I'm telling y'all y'all should see when them kids see me they lose their motherfucking mind
00:07:18they be like my mama love you my mama love you my mama love you you want a pie you
00:07:25want a pie
00:07:26I'm like don't lose your job over no apple pie nigga now don't get McFired in this bitch showing
00:07:35out but I listen I know what black love is I really do but I learned something I learned that
00:07:42when it come to black people see not only do we we love hard but we love you so hard
00:07:46even when you
00:07:47transcend we love you even more but I learned something with black people I learned that you
00:07:51can die at the wrong time oh yeah you can around and die at the wrong time look what happened
00:08:01the Tito Jackson Tito Jackson died right after Frankie and right before Puffy got locked up
00:08:10you ain't seen shit about Tito's funeral you ain't seen no pictures of the repairs
00:08:17you ain't seen Catherine broke down crying you ain't seen Janet in all black
00:08:25motherfuckers try to act like they ain't even know who Tito was
00:08:31the morning Tito died I went to my little cousin I was like yo Tito died this morning my little
00:08:38cousin
00:08:38was like oh no not the dog from the Wiz I said bitch that's Codo I'm talking about Tito Tito
00:08:47Michael
00:08:47brother Tito she was like she ain't even know Michael had a brother I said god damn Tito died at
00:08:58the wrong time
00:09:01then I went to my uncle and I know he old enough to know who the fuck Tito is I
00:09:06was like dude we
00:09:07lost Tito this morning he was like I'm gonna be honest with you I'm more of a great goose man
00:09:12myself I don't
00:09:12really really fuck with Tito like that I'm like nigga Tito Marlon Jermaine jumpsuits afro nigga you
00:09:21know who the fuck Tito is I said god damn Tito died at the wrong time
00:09:28you know who else died at the wrong time Farrah Fawcett Majors the actress
00:09:35Farrah Fawcett Majors died the same day as Michael Jackson
00:09:40come on bitch now you know you can't fuck with Michael
00:09:44you should have held on one more day bitch come on you was already an angel you was one of
00:09:49Charlie's
00:09:49angels just hold on one more day she died the same day as Michael Jackson
00:09:57they say they couldn't even find a funeral home to take the body
00:10:02say people was answering the phone like fella who beat it bitch we waiting on my people to call get
00:10:07up off of me listen death is inevitable and we will all leave here one day and we should all
00:10:17wish
00:10:18for a smooth transition but I'm gonna keep it real with y'all one of the smoothest people I ever
00:10:23seen
00:10:23leave this bitch was OJ Simpson let me see look some of y'all looking like OJ died listen OJ
00:10:30left this
00:10:30bitch smooth I ain't never seen nobody leave this bitch smooth like OJ so here's how it went down
00:10:37two weeks before OJ passed it was a rumor out that OJ had cancer and he was in hospice that
00:10:44motherfucker went live OJ went live from a golf course he logged in on Instagram he was like hey
00:10:50hey hey what's this I hear about people saying I'm sick and I'm in hospice I'm out here on the
00:10:57golf
00:10:57course having a great game that motherfucker logged off Instagram and was dead before that
00:11:03shit hit Facebook I said god damn he was gone
00:11:12gone gone
00:11:15I'm one of those people I try to keep up with all the latest shit I really do I try
00:11:19to keep up with
00:11:20all the latest shit but some of it I missed I'm ashamed to say that I am probably one of
00:11:24the only
00:11:25people who did not get any of the subliminal messages in Kendrick Lamar's halftime Super Bowl
00:11:31performance look I ain't gonna lie y'all I didn't get none of that shit none of it and I'm
00:11:37gonna keep
00:11:37it real with y'all he fucked me up at the outfit that motherfucker came out he had bell-bottom
00:11:43hip
00:11:43huggers with a dick print in the front I was confused like a motherfucker like what
00:11:52and I ain't know Kendrick was that thick I ain't have my glasses on I thought it was Stephanie Mills
00:11:58at
00:11:58first I'm like my god damn I ain't know Stephanie Mills was on the god damn show
00:12:07by the time I went and got my glasses and came back all that shit was over I was like
00:12:12fuck it I
00:12:13missed the shit y'all ain't no Kendrick with that thick I ain't no Kendrick with that goddamn thick
00:12:25and the young people listen the young people was mad they was mad because you know they took that
00:12:29shit serious my little cousin like you ain't getting none of the subliminals listen the young people
00:12:34dissected that shit analyzed that shit broke it down got all the subliminal messages I'm like y'all
00:12:40did all that shit but skimmed over project 2025 though
00:12:46been reading none of that shit
00:12:52and here we are Trump 2.5 oh Trump running this bitch Trump running this bitch and one thing I
00:13:02can
00:13:02tell y'all he doing everything he said he was gonna do he doing everything he said he was gonna
00:13:07do
00:13:08what did Trump say he was gonna do day one Trump day one Trump said if you are not a
00:13:13citizen of the
00:13:13United States of America you getting the fuck up out of here and I don't know if y'all paying
00:13:19attention
00:13:19but guess what they getting the fuck up out of here oh bitch they getting the fuck up out of
00:13:23here
00:13:25and if I was you I keep my birth certificate on me
00:13:29they ain't moving anybody they ain't moving everybody out this bitch
00:13:37and women I don't know why y'all walking around here still with all this international hair
00:13:42you gonna be at the border trying to explain that shit to somebody no I'm American the hair is
00:13:48Malaysia I'm not Malaysia the hair is Malaysia I'm I'm I'm from America wait call my mama mama you need
00:13:58to bring my receipt come down shit ain't no time to be around with that right now
00:14:06bitch I won't even wear a bang right now because that's Chinese I'm like uh-uh
00:14:17what I'm trying to tell y'all this might be y'all last month getting the manicured pedicure
00:14:24you might be doing them bitches yourself next month sitting at home like back in the day
00:14:35oh they getting the fuck up out of here
00:14:40and what else Trump say what else he said Trump say in the next four years we will only acknowledge
00:14:46two genders that's male and female all that other shit we were doing in between uh-uh
00:14:54Trump say we building a wall and a closet you're gonna get your ass back in the goddamn closet
00:15:00oh yeah get your ass back in the goddamn closet
00:15:08and I got a cousin that's a dyke I'm talking about a dyke dyke a real dyke we're we're a
00:15:13dick
00:15:13with a dyke I said bitch you better get you a ponytail and some wedges and blend in with us
00:15:19till this shit die down ain't no time to be showing out right now
00:15:28this is real shit listen this is what stand-up comedy is all about you talk about real
00:15:35shit and sometimes the shit be so bad you gotta laugh to get to the other side
00:15:47I've never been a political person I never used to even care about politics but I'm paying attention
00:15:52now oh bitch I'm paying attention I even watched the inauguration I know we was boycotting the
00:15:58shit I ain't no black people my cousin was like but you won't pull the watch
00:16:01well ain't nobody tell me not to watch I ended up watching inauguration and I'm gonna tell you some
00:16:07weird shit I thought it was weird they had eight prayers during the inauguration they prayed eight
00:16:12times trump didn't close his eyes not one time he was praying just like this on every prayer
00:16:21he didn't close his eyes not one time but I don't blame him because if this tried to kill
00:16:27me two times in one year I ain't closing my eyes in public either
00:16:35and I'm gonna keep it real with y'all one of the reasons I really tuned in
00:16:38was to see what Melania was gonna have on because come on now Melania be sharp as a
00:16:44motherfucker oh she do that oh she do that she do that and she did not disappoint Melania
00:16:51sitting that bitch with a hat down this low this bitch sat there for three hours I said this
00:16:57bitch hot as a motherfucker come on you to sit somewhere with a hat this low for three hours
00:17:05she didn't look left she didn't look right so I'm tired to kiss that bitch she leaned up and sat
00:17:10back
00:17:10I said yeah she has a motherfucker
00:17:18Michelle didn't show up and everybody went off they was like oh Michelle didn't even show up Michelle
00:17:23didn't even show up I didn't think it was a big deal that Michelle didn't show up I'm gonna tell
00:17:28you
00:17:28what I thought was shocking I'm sure I was shocked she let Barack go by his cell because let's be
00:17:34clear Barack is fine as a motherfucker and bitches be at Barack and what I was really shocked about is
00:17:43usually you don't see bow-legged niggas out by they self after eight o'clock come on now women
00:17:49know bow-legged niggas don't be out by they self after eight not need niggas be everywhere they be all
00:17:55over here shooting the club damn no what I'm saying what I'm saying no
00:18:06but you don't see bow-legged niggas out by they self after eight
00:18:10so I was shocked
00:18:14now look at not need niggas they done got mad they sit here like don't knock it till you try
00:18:25but listen Trump say he changing shit up and we don't know if it's gonna work we don't know if
00:18:29it's for the best for the worst we don't know we just riding this shit out Trump changing up all
00:18:34kind of shit motherfucker trying to he getting rid of section eight motherfucker yeah section eight
00:18:41medicare
00:18:44might get rid of social security Trump done went it so far to say next year he getting rid of
00:18:50daylight
00:18:50savings bitch it's gonna be dark at 3 30 next year done done with it
00:19:00and here's the thing he don't even want to be president he really want to be king of this
00:19:04bitch he do he really want to be king he trying that has never been done before Trump told them
00:19:11motherfuckers I want my picture on a 200 bill they was like uh Mr. President there is no 200 bill
00:19:18he said we're gonna make a 200 bill and we're gonna put my picture on the motherfucker they
00:19:24said well Mr. President only deceased presidents are on currency I said don't stop him let him cook
00:19:30let him cook let him cook
00:19:38because he doing shit we ain't never seen before and listen we laughing but listen with people going
00:19:43through some tough times because people are losing their jobs there's a lot of people that have lost their
00:19:47jobs and we're going through some tough times and you got to remember this in tough times even if
00:19:51when you're going through tough times tough times don't last for long and understand that there's
00:19:57always somebody out there that's doing worse off than yourself if it makes you feel any better I got
00:20:03a girlfriend of mine she having such a rough time she's selling pussy and she don't even like dick
00:20:14so if you think you got it rough this bitch be crying taking her draws off her
00:20:32no he running shit his way he doing shit his way he pardoned all the proud boys let all the
00:20:39proud
00:20:40boys out of jail pardon all the proud boys drop the charges let them out of jail now y'all
00:20:43know who the
00:20:44proud boys are right the people that's responsible for the insurrection that stormed the capitol in dc
00:20:49climb the walls and shit he pardoned them let them all out of jail i'm like okay you let the
00:20:53proud boys
00:20:54out what about the nasty boys let the nasty boys out y'all know who the nasty boys are r
00:21:01kelly p diddy and
00:21:02mystica here i go
00:21:12we laughing but they ain't got to our shit yet we just out here popping fans and shit wearing cowboy
00:21:18boots
00:21:19in the summertime and shit but we just showing the fuck out we can't listen we can turn out any
00:21:25goddamn
00:21:26thing black people done took the old country do-si-do and added ass to it you know what if
00:21:33people
00:21:34wasn't doing that shit before we came they done added ass to the do-si-do
00:21:56but we got to pay attention because i don't know if y'all paying attention but they're trying to erase
00:22:00our total existence they really are have y'all paid attention like they are no longer teaching
00:22:05black history in the schools no longer teaching black history in the school so here we are
00:22:11if black history is important to black people we got to teach our children ourselves that's where we are
00:22:20that's why if our history is important to black people we have to teach our children ourselves i
00:22:25personally think all teaching should start at home whether it's hygiene etiquette manners and now black
00:22:31history if it's important to us we have to teach our children at home now i could be a little
00:22:36bit
00:22:36biased because when i was growing up my father was an english professor my father taught english and
00:22:41he was a black history teacher so one thing yeah one thing he stressed that we knew our black history
00:22:50as a matter of fact he would play little games with us just so we could remember he would play
00:22:54little games like whenever we would sit at dinner he would name all the food after black leaders
00:22:58so we would sit there and he'll say something like hand me to martin luther king fried chicken
00:23:02hand me to harriet tubman macaroni and cheese and hand me to marcus garvey meatloaf
00:23:09my little brother didn't understand how all the food was named after black leaders but the
00:23:14refrigerator was still white so when we would put the food in the refrigerator he'd be standing in front
00:23:20of the refrigerator talking about let my people go i'm like it's over once the food hit the refrigerator
00:23:26it's over
00:23:30but it's true listen if our history if it's important to you now teach our children because if we allow
00:23:38america to teach our children our history they gonna it up listen they gonna it up they
00:23:43gonna add that don't belong there they gonna mix the stories around i could clearly
00:23:48see a little girl go to her mother in the future and say something like this
00:23:52so ma ma ma is it true that back in the day it was an actress by the name of
00:23:58jada pinkett who refused
00:24:00to move to the back of the bus and when she was on the bus all her and her girls
00:24:05went and robbed the
00:24:06bank and they shot up the bus and everybody died you be sitting there like ho ho ho i know
00:24:13god damn well
00:24:14they ain't put rosa parks in the movie said it all
00:24:20they will fuck it up they'll fuck it up
00:24:26and listen when you tell your children about our history do not leave out the highlights
00:24:34oh yeah because black people we got some motherfucking highlights do not leave out the highlights like when
00:24:40will smith slapped the shit out of chris rock live on tv and i know y'all don't like to
00:24:47bring that up
00:24:48but he slapped the out of chris rock he slapped him so hard he knocked the fire stick out of
00:24:54my tv
00:25:05and you can't leave out the infamous cat williams shannon sharp club shay shay interview come on now
00:25:15listen say what you want cat williams shannon sharp club shay shay interview shook up the stand-up comedy
00:25:21world they shook it up listen cat williams did a three-hour interview on shannon sharp shannon sharp
00:25:28only asked that motherfucker one question how you doing and he went the fuck off he went the fuck off
00:25:39and it was a sniper situation and i say a sniper situation because in the shootout more than one
00:25:47person has a gun in the shootout you shoot i shoot you shoot i shoot you shoot i shoot but
00:25:52in a sniper
00:25:53situation only one motherfucker got a gun and cat williams was picking motherfuckers off you didn't
00:26:00know who was gonna be next first person out the gate was steve harvey ah cat williams told the whole
00:26:09world that steve harvey had on a hairpiece wow shot the wig off that bitch then he flipped round and
00:26:17said he's gonna punch cedric in the taint in his big fat belly bow shot the belly button off that
00:26:21cat williams told the whole world that ludicrous was in the illuminati and sucked dick to get in
00:26:29that bow shot the lips off that bitch it was brutal listen he was airing that motherfucker out he talked
00:26:41about tiffany haddish kevin hart michael blackston faze on love you name it he was tearing their asses
00:26:48and i ain't gonna lie out of all the people he talked about the one person i really felt bad
00:26:57for
00:26:57was the comedian earthquake oh because cat williams told the whole world that earthquake couldn't read
00:27:08now that's some cold-blooded for you to put a black man on the can't read list come on now
00:27:18especially listen especially coming from our era because first of all we all vowed that we would
00:27:23be better than our ancestors so motherfucker we know how to read and we came up most of us came
00:27:28up during the time of conjunction junction what's your function we know how to read
00:27:36but that's some cold-blooded for you to put a black man on the can't read list now here's the
00:27:42thing i don't
00:27:43know how white people handle but as a black person when the say you can't read you got to
00:27:49prove the black people that you can read that mean everywhere you go soon as you hit the door you
00:27:55got to start reading soon as you walk in the barbershop you stop you'll be like refreshments
00:28:02potato chips 35 cents corn chips 45 cents pretzels 35 cents ladies room this way men's room this way you
00:28:11got to get in there and show you can read any funeral you go to get on program get up
00:28:23there and read in
00:28:23front of the goddamn people
00:28:28and i'm saying this listen because it happened to a friend of mine happened to a friend of mine
00:28:34friend of mine ended up going to going to jail now i'm not sure why he went to jail
00:28:40but some kind of way while he was in jail he around and got on the can't read list
00:28:47he was more upset about being on the can't read list than being in jail
00:28:52but he could not wait to come home to prove to everybody that he could read
00:28:58the morning of the day he was getting out of jail his sister called everybody she was like yo my
00:29:02brother
00:29:02coming home this evening won't we meet up at the restaurant and surprise him so we showed up with a
00:29:07cake balloons a banner bitches had roses and surprised him right he walked in the room everybody said
00:29:14surprise they was high-fiving them giving them hugs they was crying and it was real emotional
00:29:19but he wanted to prove to everybody that he could read so he ran over to the table he picked
00:29:24up he
00:29:25picked up the menu he was like i'm gonna order for everybody i'm gonna order for everybody
00:29:31i said oh this gonna be expensive now the only reason why i said it's gonna be expensive because
00:29:39that's how it is in the hood in the hood if you ordered the shit that mean you paying for
00:29:43the
00:29:43shit so i said oh this gonna be expensive but he didn't give a fuck he was determined to prove
00:29:50to
00:29:50us he could read he ran over that and started ordering
00:29:53shit he was like let me get six orders of chicken quesadillas i said now this bitch jumped out the
00:29:59gate with quesadillas now y'all know quesadillas are tricky motherfucker okay so first of all it
00:30:07don't look the way it sound so bitch you jazzy to fuck with quesadillas all right he started off let
00:30:14me
00:30:14get six orders of chicken quesadillas he was like let me get some calamari let me get some strawberry
00:30:20daiquiris let me get some escargot and give me some jambalaya everybody was like oh only thing
00:30:27about it bitch we was at pizza hut wasn't none of that shit on the menu
00:30:40i grabbed the menu for that motherfucker i told the waiter bring us five pepperoni pieces to get started
00:30:45and bring this motherfucker a coloring book so he can have something to do
00:30:51you done set up in jail and memorized the menu from the wrong goddamn restaurant
00:30:57no goddamn jambalaya pizza hut
00:31:01but shannon was rolling for a minute listen shannon sharp had this
00:31:05bitch on lock for a minute all till he around and caught
00:31:10fucked around and caught a little sex scandal
00:31:14but that's the world listen that's the world we living in right now this culture right here ain't
00:31:17nothing but scandals i'm telling y'all this culture right now these motherfuckers will sign
00:31:22an nda and write a book with the same motherfucking ink pen they ain't playing fair out this
00:31:27bitch but i like a little sex scandal i like when people had little sex scandals
00:31:32because when motherfuckers has sex scandals you find out what they really like
00:31:37see people look one way on the outside but when you find out all the freaky little
00:31:42shit they really like that's what a sex scandal do for you just expose all your freaky little
00:31:48shit and i like to play a little game like most people look for the person picture and be like
00:31:53oh this what he did i like to keep the picture for last i like to read all the little
00:31:59kinky
00:32:00shit then go back and look at the picture read all the little shit they did then go back and
00:32:05turn
00:32:06the page be like ah this mr like the snifter's bicycle seats at the gym when ain't nobody looking
00:32:36listen i'm a professional at it
00:32:40i am i like to read all the
00:32:41all the little details and i could tell a little bit about the victim when i read the details like
00:32:48in the shannon sharp situation i was able to tell early that it was a young girl that he was
00:32:54messing
00:32:54with i could tell she was young first of all i knew she wasn't a grown woman like myself come
00:32:59on now
00:32:59i'm a full grown german shepherd out this
00:33:01i could tell she was a young girl here's the reason why i could tell she was a young girl
00:33:10because when she was like when they was describing the shit she was saying she was saying she was
00:33:14saying shit like oh i want you to give me a baby i want you to give me one of
00:33:17them big black babies
00:33:18i want you to give me a big black baby i was like yeah that's a young girl and ain't
00:33:23no grown woman
00:33:24like myself begging no 56 year old man for no goddamn baby because we already know what kind of baby
00:33:32a 56
00:33:33year old man gonna give
00:33:37fuck on the spectrum that bitch gonna lick the fence
00:33:42he gonna lick the fence come on now you seen them kids that lick the goddamn fence
00:33:48you be sitting out there talking about junior you wanted a bike ride the goddamn bike
00:33:53i bought your bike you're out here licking the fence stop licking the goddamn fence
00:34:00there ain't nothing wrong with junior junior daddy just old that's all he an old nut baby come on now
00:34:10you done seen no old nut babies
00:34:15when the young girl fuck around and have a baby by the sugar daddy
00:34:25she named him brandon
00:34:29everybody i don't know why the fuck she named that baby brandon he looked just like mr james
00:34:39brandon walking around here with the my daddy old face
00:34:43this bitch got a receding hairline back here he dressed like an insurance man in the house vacuuming and
00:34:50shit you be begging that bitch to go outside go outside brandon go outside and play brandon daddy old
00:35:02all the other kids want to go to chuck e cheese for their birthday brandon want to go fishing
00:35:10damn brandon's daddy's old that's the old nut baby come on now you've seen the old nut baby
00:35:19and i know what i'm talking about
00:35:23because i'm what you call an old egg that's a old egg that's when the woman have your kids
00:35:28late in life listen the average childbearing years is 17 to 27. anything after that you rolling the
00:35:36motherfucking dice and when you roll the dice you don't know what you're gonna get listen my mother
00:35:43rolled the dice i am a old egg that's why i can talk about it because i'm a old egg
00:35:47and thank god i
00:35:48came out fine listen thank god she rolled the motherfucking dice and i came out smart listen as a
00:35:57kid i was smart as a motherfucker my abc's one two threes they only had to show me one time
00:36:02one time caught it right off i was so smart they didn't even have to potty train me i showed
00:36:08up
00:36:08with a pull-up on ready to go
00:36:13only thing about it not only was i smart but i was strong especially up under the arms as a
00:36:22kid i was
00:36:22mustied in the mother i was a full grown woman up under the arm
00:36:27bitch tussie couldn't hold me you remember tussie tussie was for the funky teenagers
00:36:33bitch tussie i ran through tussie tussie couldn't fuck with me secret was no secret
00:36:39bitch i took secret down i was seven years old on right guard
00:36:47and you know right guard was for construction workers bitch i was all right dog
00:36:54i had to grow into my underarms i remember being outside turning double dutch my friends be like
00:37:02put your arms down
00:37:17well shannon sharp listen shannon ship was so scandalous
00:37:21it made us even forget about that kanye went and hollered out he sucked his cousin dick till he was
00:37:2614.
00:37:28oh shit i ain't saying he said it
00:37:34and here's my thing here's my thing because i understand we in this culture now where everybody
00:37:39want to speak their piece and i want to clear my mind and i want to heal and they just
00:37:44want to tell
00:37:45their motherfucking story and it's okay to tell your story but you can't bring nobody else in your
00:37:50goddamn story his cousin might not i don't even know if it's true his cousin might not want no
00:37:54shit like that for you to say no shit like that like like like for instance you ever hear somebody
00:38:00admit to liking or doing some nasty shit and then when you call them out on it they try to
00:38:07blame it
00:38:08all where they from and you happen to be from the same place they from so here's how i go
00:38:13maybe saying
00:38:14some shit like this so you know i was with brenda the other night what hell yeah man me and
00:38:19brenda
00:38:20was having a good fucking time man brenda's still wild man brenda's still wild but i turned that
00:38:25bitch out he was like for real you like hell yeah i rolled over and i started eating her ass
00:38:30and you
00:38:31be like whoo you like shit nigga i'm from detroit nigga i'm from detroit nigga you be like detroit ain't
00:38:38got to do with that bitch my whole family from detroit don't nobody my family eat ass that's your
00:38:44shit that ain't got shit to do with detroit don't bring me in on that shit
00:38:54i like my sense of humor i do listen i have a very i have a very wicked sense of
00:39:02humor i really do
00:39:03and i've been like this all my life and because i have a wicked sense of humor it helps me
00:39:09from
00:39:09stressing a lot i don't stress a lot i really don't i really don't because the way my perspective
00:39:13and the way i see things first of all i'm a kind person i'm a nice person i try to
00:39:18not be a mean
00:39:19spirited person i am i am for the most part and then i'm one of those people i always look
00:39:27for the
00:39:27good no matter what happens look for the good and and when you're looking for the good sometimes you
00:39:33just have to be patient but if you be patient eventually you'll see the good i always look for
00:39:38good and then i'm not afraid to think outside of the box sometimes people just condition themselves
00:39:45to focus right here i'm one of those people i step back and think outside of the box so i'm
00:39:50able to
00:39:51see things from a whole nother perspective sometimes and it saves me a lot of times from stress like for
00:39:56instance there was a situation that happened in jacksonville florida a crazy man ran up in a dollar
00:40:02store shot up the dollar store five people died it was it was tragic it was all on cnn all
00:40:09on the
00:40:09local news the the victim's family was posting pictures of them on facebook and instagram gone too
00:40:14soon rest in peace i called all my family members that night and first of all i told them that
00:40:20i loved
00:40:20them and then i told them i said listen if i should ever happen to die or get killed at
00:40:26the dollar store
00:40:27don't put my motherfucking picture in the paper tell people i died at the goddamn dollar store
00:40:32come on now bitch lie and say it was cbs i said you don't you don't tell nobody i died
00:40:38at the goddamn
00:40:38dollar store it's all the i've accomplished in life you gonna put dollar tree on me
00:40:46bitch come on name the plaza you don't tell nobody i died at the goddamn dollar store
00:40:58and i'm telling you this because you really got to tell your relative like this i'm telling you
00:41:04you'll be laying in your casket you'll be laying in your casket somebody will be reading your obituary
00:41:09they'll be doing good till they get all the way down to the end and say some goofy
00:41:13shit they'll say well one thing about her she loved the dollar store you will sit right up in your
00:41:19casket like who the told you to say some bullshit like that don't tell nobody no shit like that
00:41:28because here's the truth about the dollar store we with the dollar store we all with it
00:41:34but it ain't your shit it ain't your shit you with it but it ain't your
00:41:39shit and here's how you know it ain't your shit whenever you're in the dollar store you're never
00:41:45100 comfortable you always keep your head on a swivel looking for somebody you know
00:41:53soon as you see somebody you know after you speak you immediately state why you in there
00:41:59you be like what's up tammy how you doing baby good to see you i'm just in here getting my
00:42:03honor
00:42:04birthday card how your mom doing tell your mom i say hi that's right because you with it but this
00:42:11ain't your shit here's how you really know it ain't your shit no matter what you buy never get a
00:42:18cart i'll be at the register arm full of shit i refuse to get a car because you get a
00:42:25cart that
00:42:25mean it's your shit it's your shit it's your shit this is what you do
00:42:34i refuse to get a car
00:42:40you ever notice you ever notice you don't see couples in the dollar store you go on that
00:42:46bitch one at a time your husband be like you go on in almost sit in the car and wait
00:42:52on
00:42:52you come out you don't never want to be seen on no goddamn date at the dollar store
00:42:59and here's rule number one rule number one of going to the dollar store whenever you talk about
00:43:05what you did that day you never mention the dollar store people be like what you do today oh bitch
00:43:14i've
00:43:14been busy all day had to take my grandmother to cry rehearsal pick my daughter up go to cheerleading
00:43:21practice take the dog to the vet go to the laundry pick up the laundry and shit they'd be like
00:43:26really because tammy says she's seen you in the dollar store ah type type yeah had to go get my
00:43:32honor
00:43:32birthday card real quick you know but you don't bring that up you gotta know how to move out in
00:43:40these
00:43:41streets you gotta know how to move because here's the one thing i can tell you and promise you about
00:43:44life life is very humbling very humbling and if it hasn't humbled you yet just wait
00:43:52listen the bible speaks about it the bible say we will all be humbled all heads will bow and all
00:43:57knees will bend to him we will all be humbled
00:44:03life is very humbling you know how much sean john's is at the goodwill right now
00:44:11homeless people won't even wear that
00:44:16i've seen the homeless man throw a jacket way across the room he was like no take that take that
00:44:20take that take that
00:44:26y'all know that was a good joke right there y'all bullshitting right there that was listen
00:44:34life is very humbling here's the thing the fact that puffy has billions of dollars and can't get a bond
00:44:41or bell listen puffy is in the middle of a scary movie called the ghost of pussy pass
00:44:50now here's the thing i'm not defending what he did i'm not justifying what he did but i just want
00:44:55y'all to do me one favor think outside of the box just a little bit what if a was
00:45:02judging you on some
00:45:03shit you did back in the day let's take the 80s what if a month was judging you on some
00:45:09shit you did in the 80s first of all we was all different in the 80s life was different in
00:45:16the
00:45:1680s the rules was different in the 80s if you describe some of the shit we was doing in the
00:45:2280s
00:45:23if you describe that right now it don't sound right it don't sound right i'm talking about little
00:45:28shit like describe bobbing for apples the game we play at birthday party describe that
00:45:35shit today you'll be like okay so let me get this right y'all took kids blindfolded them tied their
00:45:44hands behind their back had them stick their head in a bucket of nasty ass water for apple
00:45:57yeah that shit don't sound right and you know that shit don't sound right
00:46:02if your grandbaby came home tomorrow and was like i was over jennifer house and we were playing a game
00:46:08and they tied my hands behind my back you'd be like what kind of game was that you don't tie
00:46:14kids
00:46:14hands behind their back that's the shit we was doing come on now some of the shit we was doing
00:46:21if you
00:46:22listen to that shit today it don't sound right describe pin the tail on the donkey okay so let me
00:46:30get
00:46:30this right y'all took kids blindfolded them spin them around and got them dizzy then told them find
00:46:40the ass in the room find the ass yeah y'all motherfuckers doing
00:46:46you know that don't sound right
00:46:54y'all remember the 80s life was different in the 80s you remember the 80s your mom had that cutlass
00:47:02with no power steering she made that left turn with all her motherfucking might
00:47:07you was so light in the ass every time she made a left turn you slid all the way to
00:47:12the edge of the
00:47:12god damn seat and you slid because you ain't had no seat belt on come on now it's the 80s
00:47:18we was
00:47:19riding dirty in the 80s you ain't had no goddamn seat belt on listen we was brought up rough in
00:47:27the
00:47:2780s your mother would smoke a whole pack of cigarettes roll the windows up and smoke that
00:47:31bitch with you in the car she smoked and you smoked too
00:47:41didn't give a fuck about your lungs
00:47:45this this was the 80s
00:47:50that's why i look at some of the some of the luxuries we have today and it's hard to complain
00:47:55like do you realize we have apps like spotify and apple music and youtube where you can go to any
00:48:01song from any genre and play it instantly see i remember the 80s when you was in your room and
00:48:07you called the radio station five times in a row begging the to play the double dutch bus
00:48:14you're like bitches you gonna play the song or not because i got to do
00:48:22nowadays if you call a bitch five times in a row you're going to jail for stalking
00:48:27life was different and y'all know life was different ladies life was different y'all remember in the 80s
00:48:36when you took a bath or took a shower to prove that you was fresh and clean you put baby
00:48:41powder all on
00:48:42your chest you put that all up to your neck i wish the you would put some baby powder on
00:48:49yourself and
00:48:50go outside right now i tell you they'll call the cdc on your ass yeah we got a lady out
00:48:57here i'm not
00:48:58sure if it's anthrax cocaine fentanyl carpet fresh somebody needs to come check it out though all right
00:49:05thank you life was different so for a mother to judge you on some you were doing back in the
00:49:17day
00:49:17shit was different i ain't lying listen i had a scare this year i had a scare
00:49:24i am a graduate of morris brown college in atlanta georgia
00:49:30this year they came out with a documentary about freaknik friend of mine called me she was like girl
00:49:38you heard that they coming out with a documentary about freaknik first thing i said was where they
00:49:43getting the footage from she was like she was like oh they just telling people to send it in
00:49:51i'm sitting there like i'm wondering if people gonna be able to to see that's me with no eyebrows
00:49:56and shit you know you know life was different back then you know so i had really forgotten about it
00:50:05and my dude came to me one day he was like yeah you know i heard a documentary coming out
00:50:10about freaknik
00:50:11it came out it's coming out this week we're gonna watch it on friday i said bitch i'm gonna watch
00:50:17it on
00:50:17wednesday to see if we gonna watch it on friday that's right and i'm one of those people listen
00:50:27i i try to keep up with the new shit and i'm impressed i'm impressed and a lot of shit
00:50:33motivates
00:50:34me i get motivated by seeing people's success sometimes when you see other people's success
00:50:39you can't take it as your failure people do that a lot of time other people's success is not a
00:50:44there's
00:50:44not a picture of your failure you know what i'm saying i like the fact that we have more female
00:50:49rappers now than ever before i do oh i love the female rappers we got cash style nikki minaj
00:51:00we had uh cardi b and glow glow god damn i like glow i like little glow i heard glow
00:51:07reala say something
00:51:08i swear to y'all change my outlook and perspective on some things in life so glow reala is straight
00:51:14out of
00:51:14memphis tennessee so when she speaks she has a strong southern accent so they're doing an interview
00:51:20and the man asked glow really said well how do you like being famous she was like i ain't gonna
00:51:24lie
00:51:24it's a little hard being famous it's a little hard being famous the man said well what's so hard about
00:51:30being famous she'd be like well because my fans be bullying me online he said your fans bully you she
00:51:36said yeah my fans be bullying me online she said they be making face making fun of my funny looking
00:51:42little body and my big ass nose but i let them know y'all mind will get used to keep
00:51:47seeing this
00:51:48funny looking little body and this big ass nose because i'm gonna keep making hits and i'm gonna
00:51:53keep getting money and at the end of the day puss is still good
00:52:04and i was like what the fuck did pussy have to do with that like i was confused
00:52:11and it it wasn't until i backed up stepped outside of the box looked at it in a whole nother
00:52:18way
00:52:19then this is how i heard it first of all you got to understand sometimes in life people are not
00:52:25going
00:52:25see you the way you see yourself and that was one of the that was one of the hardest lessons
00:52:29i ever had
00:52:29to learn in my life sometimes people just not going to see the way you see yourself and always cheer
00:52:35for
00:52:35yourself i don't give a fuck always cheer for yourself always people ask me who are your top five
00:52:45comedians i said well three of them is some more and two of them look just like her you know
00:52:55but always cheer for yourself so when i when i said that i listened to card i listen go back
00:53:01and
00:53:02listen to glowrilla thing again so this is what i heard this time you might not like my funny looking
00:53:08little body or my big ass nose but i'm gonna keep making hits and i'm gonna keep getting money and
00:53:15at the end of the day if none of this don't work guess what pussy still good
00:53:25i said this bitch just gave a pussy a shout out
00:53:31she gave a pussy a shout out
00:53:34i went home and changed the password to all my shit the puss is still good
00:53:44that's right if that don't motivate you
00:53:49no matter what happens in life puss is still good understand that understand that
00:53:57and i know some women listen y'all would never use it you're too dignified to use it
00:54:01but i can show you where you can use it on the simplest terms let's say let's say you got
00:54:09a
00:54:09doctor's appointment you got that's when one o'clock you get there early you get there 12 30.
00:54:15little girl don't call you to the back till five after one she don't come in there to take your
00:54:22blood
00:54:22pressure till quarter after one she walking that bitch like ain't nothing wrong she ain't even
00:54:27apologizing for being late she throw the cuff on you and start pumping
00:54:37she look at you she say your blood pressure a little high
00:54:41you look at her and say it was fine at one o'clock
00:54:48listen don't let this little girl your day up
00:54:51now you know you've been watching your sodium intake you know you've been doing your 10 000 steps
00:54:56a day you know you've been drinking your water when she tried to tell you your blood pressure high
00:55:01this is exactly what i want you to do i want you to look down look away look her dead
00:55:06in the face and
00:55:07say at the end of the day puss is still good pressure high but puss is good
00:55:22i can tell you one better than that better than that better than that better than that
00:55:27let's say let's say you go to the bank let's say you go to the bank you're doing a little
00:55:32deposit
00:55:34you're doing a little deposit you slide the check up under the window you don't even ask for the
00:55:40balance because you already know where you at you already know she take it upon herself to write
00:55:45your balance down she slides the back to you you look down it's a little light it's a little light
00:55:52it's a little light don't let this up your day don't let this up your day this is exactly what
00:55:58i want
00:55:58you to do i want you to look down look away pick that paper up and ball it right up
00:56:03in her face and
00:56:04say at the end of the day puss is still good this was still good i'm one of those people
00:56:15i used to think
00:56:16that laughter was the best medicine all until ozempic came out yeah ozempic is the
00:56:25shit oh zempic is the shit have you seen oprah which oprah is a size eight and everybody that
00:56:33know oprah know oprah been a 20 all her life strong 20 oprah is a eight and she look good
00:56:42god damn she
00:56:43look good and here's the thing here's why i'm so happy for her because all the money that oprah has
00:56:48she's been in the struggle she's just like me and you you listen listen she's been in the struggle
00:56:52she's been in the struggle oprah struggled so much with her weight she joined weight watchers
00:56:57she joined weight watchers joined weight watchers invested money in the company became the face of
00:57:02the company became the spokesperson of the company all until ozempic came out ozempic came out oprah
00:57:09took three shots of ozempic and broke up with them bitches on twitter she didn't go to the meeting
00:57:15she tweeted them hoes i'm out she looked good listen oprah outside outside she ain't never been
00:57:25outside like this never but now oprah at parties turnt up listen she gave a whole big shout out to
00:57:33ozempic
00:57:34listen ozempic is a bad motherfucker and it worked fast you take that shit you'll be skinny and your shadow's
00:57:51still fat
00:57:52but you gotta go to oprah page to see what i'm talking about she's eight now and she look good
00:57:58what i like about it is she ain't got that old sloppy weight like you know some people had that
00:58:02i used to
00:58:03be fat look oprah has a total makeover i'm talking about head to toe all her shit is brand new
00:58:11she has this video on her page she has on this purple dress and she walking down the hallway
00:58:16and they slow the video down so she in slow motion when she walking i had to zoom in i
00:58:22said god damn
00:58:23look at oprah and every time she stepped her hair bounced i'm like look at oprah hair from brazil
00:58:30the titties is from cuba the ass is from the dominican republic but them feet steal from mississippi
00:58:43i said she's going down that hallway i'm like oprah you got to get new feet baby
00:58:48you can't put all that hot girl shit on them country ass feet
00:59:01they got to get new feet
00:59:05and here's the thing here's the thing why do women do that why do we go out and get all
00:59:11brand
00:59:11new shit head to toe top to bottom new glasses new teeth new titties flat stomach bigger ass
00:59:18get all that go somewhere and your feet hurt why you just don't get new feet
00:59:24who gonna be the first to get new feet i'm gonna be the first to get new feet
00:59:29i'm gonna show up at a party y'all gonna be all sitting down because your feet hurt
00:59:34i'm gonna hit the room and hit the stage like this
00:59:36y'all gonna be sitting there like you know them feet ain't real
00:59:44you know that had her feet done
00:59:50but i'm happy for oprah and she humble listen oprah is humble y'all know how much money oprah has
00:59:56you know you humble you got all that money and you still wear glasses
01:00:01bitch that's humble than a motherfucker because if i had half of oprah money
01:00:05i have x-ray vision on your asses you walk up to me i'll be like i see you had
01:00:12pizza for lunch
01:00:18but oprah looks good she really does to be honest with y'all i'm worried about stedman
01:00:24listen her long time boyfriend stedman been hanging in there and you know listen any man in here been
01:00:29with a woman that struggles with her way you know how emotional we are and sensitive about our
01:00:33weight when all when we going through our self-esteem shit our emotions go up and down so stedman go
01:00:39through it when he dealing with oprah and any man know any woman that go from a 20 to an
01:00:448 is a
01:00:45totally different woman come on now mentally that's a whole nother woman life is just different at an
01:00:51eight in the 20. first of all you can make love to a 8. you got the fuck a 20.
01:00:58but you got to get up
01:00:59under a 20. you can't be bullshitting with no goddamn 20. you end up on your back with your legs
01:01:06up
01:01:06fucking with a 20. like hold on now put my leg down i'm a man put my leg down
01:01:15you can't be bullshitting with no 20.
01:01:21fucking the 20 is like a banjo bitch you can't
01:01:23bullshit with a banjo if you can't play that bitch you can't pull it out
01:01:34there's people out here going through real shit people going through real
01:01:37shit i got a girlfriend of mine right now going through some real
01:01:41shit girlfriend of mine was married for 21 years 21 years to the love of her life
01:01:47he had a car accident and unfortunately he died right there at the scene died right there at the
01:01:53scene and she was devastated which was expected to be her to be devastated but she bowed to everybody
01:01:59that night she said listen i am going to give him the most memorable home going ceremony this city has
01:02:05ever seen she said no expense will be spared i'm going all out let me tell y'all something she
01:02:10rented
01:02:10out the biggest cathedral in the city she hired a mass choir to sing at the ceremony
01:02:15she hired yolanda adams to lead the mass choir she hired kurt franklin to lead yolanda adams
01:02:24all out
01:02:30she had a custom-made casket it was all white with a glass top she had him a custom-made
01:02:36tuxedo all white
01:02:38with a gold stripe up the side she's gonna have a 21 gun salute at the grave site she's gonna
01:02:43release
01:02:4421 doves to commemorate all the 21 years they've been together she's gonna have 21 doses dozens of
01:02:49white roses to to line the church she wanted praise dancers to pray the dance all up and down the
01:02:56aisle
01:02:56she wanted all the congregation to wear all white she had all this planned out till she
01:03:03she walked around and needed some information for the insurance policy she took his phone down to t-mobile
01:03:12and t-mobile unlocked his phone
01:03:18baby
01:03:21baby
01:03:32that was seven years old she found out a girl he swore was his cousin wasn't his cousin at all
01:03:42she found naked pictures of women all in the phone where he had been sexting and texting with women
01:03:47she found three dick pictures two of them wasn't his
01:03:55she found out he wasn't even a scorpio he was really a gemini
01:04:08let me tell y'all something she downgraded this whole motherfucking funeral
01:04:14she called everybody and said the funeral is off
01:04:20she buried this man in a t-moo jogging suit
01:04:31with some no-name tennis shoes
01:04:35she ain't even get him a haircut she ain't even get him a tape
01:04:40she put glasses on him he ain't even wear glasses
01:04:45she put the glasses on and said look what the fuck you made me do
01:04:54she spelled his name wrong on the obituary
01:04:58she spelled fuck nigga with two k's
01:05:05she had the funeral service over zoom
01:05:09but ain't get nobody to link
01:05:12he was laying in that bitch no haircut with shades on by his side
01:05:23so so
01:05:26of course i couldn't go to the service because i was flying out that day
01:05:31but i told her i said when i get back to town we're going to go to lunch
01:05:35y'all i sat there with my friend and she cried she cried for 20 minutes and i cried with
01:05:40her
01:05:40she said girl i'm just so embarrassed this man had all this going on in this city and everybody knew
01:05:47except for me i said well look at it this way he loved you enough that he respected you that
01:05:52he kept
01:05:52it from you okay he did what he did but he kept it from you she said i know you're
01:05:57trying to
01:05:57make me feel good because you're my friend she said but the truth of the matter is i was married
01:06:02to
01:06:02a man who wasn't i said no now he was a good man he wasn't a perfect man because i
01:06:07seen him treat you
01:06:08good so he was a good man he wasn't a perfect man now me trying to find the good think
01:06:13outside
01:06:14of the box i said now t-mobile t-mobile ain't because t-mobile ain't had that to do metro
01:06:23pcs would
01:06:24have never unlocked that phone this could have been falling all out the screen they wouldn't unlock
01:06:38i said so what you gonna do i know you're embarrassed you're gonna move she said no she
01:06:43said financially he left me good she said i had double indemnity insurance on him meaning if he
01:06:48died in an accident i got double the money so financially i'm good she said as a matter of
01:06:54fact i'm gonna take an early retirement open up me a little boutique just to give me something to do
01:06:58she said i said so you're not gonna move she said i'm gonna stay here so i'm gonna stay here
01:07:03and
01:07:03live my life i might even get married again i said are you serious she said hell yeah because at
01:07:09the
01:07:09end of the day puss is still good y'all my name is samora thank y'all for coming i
01:07:16appreciate y'all
01:07:18thank y'all
01:07:23thank y'all
01:07:55thank y'all
01:08:12Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my.
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