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00:00In 1979, on a school skiing trip, P.E. teacher Tony Mammoth was engulfed by an avalanche.
00:08Perfectly preserved under the snow, he was found and miraculously brought back to life over 40 years later.
00:23Make it sparkle, please, boys.
00:29What are you doing? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:34Fist only. Shake hands afterwards.
00:37Mr Mammoth, glad I caught you.
00:39I just wondered if there was possibly an option for you to cover my lesson later.
00:44I've got a bit of an emergency at home and you're the only one with a free lesson?
00:52No. No.
00:58Cheers.
01:03There's bits in there.
02:04Everyone else goes to staff meetings, I work on my golf swing.
02:07Yeah, but Cowley's not here.
02:09What?
02:09He's been signed off.
02:11Stress.
02:12Stress?
02:12What's he going to be stressed about?
02:14Certain members of staff.
02:16Mr Evans, isn't he?
02:17Kill him.
02:18Yeah, Lee, they've brought in a short-term interim head.
02:22They've got a new bloke filling in.
02:24Good morning, team.
02:26My name's Mr Reynolds, but you can call me Gus.
02:29I've heard great things about the crack squad here at Nolan High School, and it is an honour
02:34to be driving this ship forward as Mr Cowley takes some much-needed rest time.
02:40Right.
02:41Shall we have a look at your department action plans?
02:43Well, thank you.
02:44Mammoth?
02:45Sorry, Mr, um...
02:47Mammoth?
02:48Mr Mammoth.
02:49This is an all-staff meeting.
02:51We've got a range of old Cowley.
02:52Yeah, and that's great, but I'd really love it to be an all-staff meeting.
02:56Cheers, buddy.
02:58Buddy.
02:59Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say I'm really excited.
03:05I feel like we need a fresh change around here.
03:08The skipper had this place running like a well-oiled machine.
03:11Well, he didn't address any of my concerns about the staff in my department.
03:15Now, now, team, I'm sure we're all pulling in the same direction, yes?
03:19Mr Mammoth, maybe you'd like to share the P department's action plan?
03:23Oh, here we go.
03:28The plan is...
03:31Excellent P.E.
03:35Could you elaborate on that?
03:38Excellent physical education.
03:42Yes.
03:42Well, I think you might want to brush up on that a little bit, Mr Mammoth.
03:49Do you know what?
03:50I'm not putting up with this.
03:51You might think you've won the battle, mate.
03:54But you haven't won the war.
03:56Revolution starts today.
03:58Who's with me?
04:10Surprise!
04:11Don't!
04:11Don't do that!
04:12Oh, my baby.
04:15My big, strapping, handsome 18-year-old.
04:18Feels like only yesterday I was kissing that face goodnight and tucking you in.
04:21You did do that yesterday.
04:22Now, we can't get the photographer today, but they're going to come tomorrow.
04:26Oh, Mum...
04:27What?
04:27It's tradition.
04:29You love all Mum and Son photo shoots.
04:32Do you open your present from your grandad?
04:35Yep.
04:36Oh.
04:37Well, I'd better go.
04:38I'm going to be late for school.
04:39School?
04:40On your birthday?
04:41Oh, I don't think so, Mr.
04:43I've already phoned him and said you've got measles.
04:45High five!
04:46It's for us!
04:51Now, I know you said you didn't want me to arrange anything.
04:53Yeah, because I don't.
04:54But you can't not have a party on your 18th.
04:56What would you like to do more than anything in this world?
04:59Oh, there is actually a new manga exhibition.
05:03That's right.
05:04Hedgemaze.
05:05I found this great one at a National Trust house.
05:07What's that?
05:08Has it got a tea room?
05:10Er, let me think.
05:11Only the best bloody tea room on TripAdvisor.
05:13I liked hedgemazes when I was a kid.
05:15I'm not really into them anymore.
05:16That's fine.
05:17OK.
05:17We'll cancel it if that's what you want.
05:19Yes, please.
05:20I'm lying.
05:21We're going.
05:22It's going to be great.
05:25Beep-bo.
05:29I don't think that balance spring's seen WD-40 since I was in short trousers.
05:33I think you've got your work cut out there, Peter.
05:36Could you have plenty of time on my hands, John?
05:42It's very therapeutic, though.
05:44God, I haven't done anything like this for years.
05:48I just feel a total sense of calm.
05:53Skipper!
05:58Mr. Mammoth, how did you find me?
06:00Mrs. C told me where you were.
06:01Not straight away.
06:03I told you an important police matter,
06:04and you were facing some very serious allegations.
06:07What?
06:08I'm in the middle of something.
06:10What, playing with toys?
06:11What is this place?
06:13It's a share and repair group.
06:15People bring in broken things, and we fix them.
06:18This cannot pay you more than a headteacher's salary.
06:21I'm not being paid.
06:23Well, they're taking advantage of you.
06:25You ought to be ashamed of yourselves, running up a sweatshop.
06:28No, it's just relaxing, mindful.
06:33Well, for Christ's sake, Peter.
06:35Meanwhile, some young bucks in your school taking your job.
06:38Great.
06:39They found someone.
06:40Oh, they found someone, right?
06:41Oh, you better believe it.
06:42Yeah, a right piece of work.
06:44The way he spoke to me, like I was shit on his shoes.
06:47Oh, I've seen power corrupt.
06:49Oh, oh, this Reynolds.
06:51He's something else.
06:54Miss Mansford.
06:55Mr Reynolds.
06:57Gus, please.
06:58Is that right for you, Lucy?
07:00I thought you might like a little flat white.
07:05You're a paddle enthusiast.
07:06Me too.
07:08Well, I was actually thinking of getting some paddle equipment for the school, and it's not
07:12in the curriculum.
07:13Curriculums are flexible.
07:15Lucy, I think that's a great idea.
07:16If you're passionate about something, I will back you.
07:19You get that equipment ordered.
07:21Even give you a little game, yeah?
07:24Okay.
07:26Bye.
07:26I love you.
07:27I mean, I mean, thanks.
07:32We need you back, Skipper.
07:33But I've been signed off.
07:35Doctor says I need a break from work.
07:37Rubbish.
07:38Do you know how many head teachers I've worked under over the years that have had mental breakdowns?
07:42Hmm?
07:43All of them.
07:44I know a nutter when I see one, and you are not a nutter.
07:47I think people, myself included, find the word nutter extremely problematic.
07:54I've got no problem with it.
07:55It's very important for men to look after their mental health.
07:58Glokes don't have to talk about that sort of stuff, okay?
08:00Just bottle it up and get on with it.
08:02My dad never talked about his mental health, and he fought in the war.
08:06All right.
08:07He didn't like getting on boats, and didn't like loud noises.
08:11Had to keep him in the house on Guy Fawkes night with the dog.
08:15Sometimes we'd go on a bender for...
08:17two or three weeks at a time.
08:20Never really spoke to me, mum, or my sister.
08:24Never once slept through a whole night.
08:28But you know what?
08:29He never once complained.
08:31Stiff upper lip!
08:33Now, I know what you need to de-stress.
08:38I'd really rather stay here, Tony.
08:41What's wrong with your wrinkles?
08:44They're antique clock hands.
08:49That did it.
08:50Peter, why don't you and your friend finish up now and call it a day?
08:55Yeah, lovely.
08:56Cheers.
09:05It seems like only yesterday you were just little boys.
09:09Yeah, might have things change.
09:12Can you believe I'm your boss?
09:13No, auntie, ma'am.
09:14Don't ruin it, Nathan.
09:17Written down a few words to mark the occasion.
09:19Is Mammoth coming?
09:20I'm only here because he said I had to be.
09:23Theo.
09:24Eighteen years ago,
09:27you were just a little tiny acorn.
09:31Look at you now.
09:33You have grown
09:35into a mighty oak.
09:37Thanks, mum.
09:37Please stop.
09:38Yes.
09:40The mighty oak has a point.
09:42Sorry, there's...
09:43Oh!
09:44There's a lot of emotion going on right now.
09:47Come here, you!
09:49Oh!
09:51Now, we are going to have an amazing time.
09:57Rule for two more.
10:00Hello, sir.
10:02Hello, Theo.
10:03Many happy returns.
10:04Grandad, why have you brought my head to each other?
10:06I'm de-stressing him.
10:08Between us, he's had a massive mental breakdown.
10:11Gone a bit crack as if you've only skipped.
10:13Well, I think you know everyone here, Mr Cowley.
10:16Except Harry.
10:18He's a stripper.
10:19Oh, you found the place.
10:20Good lad.
10:21Why did you hire me a male stripper?
10:23That was all they had left.
10:24It was that or nothing.
10:26Nothing would have been fine.
10:27So, do you want me to strip now, or...?
10:29Oh, no, no.
10:30No stripping today, thank you.
10:32But do you want to join us in the hedge maze?
10:34Oh, sure.
10:35I mean, you paid for the hour.
10:37Might as well.
10:37So, do you want me to strip in the maze, or...?
10:39No, keep your clothes on, Harry.
10:40I cannot stress that enough.
10:43It's the worst birthday ever.
10:45No, it's not.
10:47It's the best.
10:50Right, guys.
10:51First one to the middle is the championie!
10:54Come on!
10:57Sorry I didn't get you anything, Theo,
10:59but I didn't know I was going to be here until Mr Mammoth.
11:01Don't even worry about that.
11:02I get it.
11:02You can't smoke that in here.
11:04In where?
11:05We're outside.
11:06If you want my advice...
11:07If I wanted your advice, it'd be about being a bell-end.
11:15Hey.
11:16Sunday out.
11:17Bit of fresh air.
11:19Be raring to get back to work.
11:21Kick that cook out of your nest.
11:22All right.
11:23Try it again.
11:26Hey!
11:27School trip's back on!
11:28Yeah!
11:29Come on!
11:32Let's go!
11:33Come on, kids!
11:38Oh, this is a dead end.
11:40And we got back.
11:41No.
11:42It is good.
11:43I need a break from Mum,
11:44and I see I swear she's getting worse.
11:46Do you want me to say something to her at work?
11:48I can make it official.
11:50Verbal warning.
11:52No, thanks.
11:55Oh, there he is!
11:57The birthday boy.
11:58Hi, Mum.
11:59How'd you find me?
12:00I'm your mum.
12:01I always know where you are.
12:02It's a little thing called Mother's Intuition.
12:04Er, she put a tracking tile in your back pocket.
12:06Thanks a lot, Harry.
12:07Grass.
12:09OK.
12:11So now that we're all here together,
12:13let's focus on the maze.
12:15Which way, birthday boy?
12:16Don't care.
12:17Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
12:17Please, Mum.
12:18Hatch a tiger by its tail.
12:20If we just get to the middle, we can go home.
12:21No, because I can't...
12:22I just can't do this anymore!
12:25What's the matter with you?
12:27Is it drugs?
12:30County lines.
12:31If you're in a gang, Theo, so help me.
12:33I'm just fed up of you treating me like a child.
12:35Or I'm 18 years old,
12:36and I don't want you fussing over me anymore.
12:38I don't want to do the mother and son photo shoots.
12:40I hate hedge mazes!
12:42I'm going for a coffee.
12:49How am I supposed to get out of this place?
12:59Oh, we made it.
13:01Oh, yay.
13:03Championies.
13:06What's the matter with you?
13:15What the matter with you?
13:19Found the middle, Skipper!
13:23I really don't think you should have chainsawed through the maze, Mr. Bammus.
13:26Bit late for that.
13:27What's the matter with you?
13:28Is it him?
13:30I've paid you to take your kit off, Harry.
13:32If she wants them off, they've got to come off.
13:34You can't be shy, pal.
13:35Not on your game.
13:36Come on.
13:41Nathan, no.
13:47Hey!
13:49I made you a coffee and a keep cup to take to school.
13:51Right.
13:52Put your name on it in case you lose it.
13:54I know what you're like.
13:56OK, so shall I see you at pick-up?
13:58Yes, I came home.
13:59What?
14:00You can't walk home, not with your shin splints.
14:02The doctor's told you I don't have shin splints.
14:06I think I know my son's body better than any GP.
14:08God, I can look after myself, you know?
14:14Brilliant.
14:15Just brilliant.
14:16Don't be telling yourself.
14:18Theo's a man now.
14:20Doesn't need you anymore.
14:22Sooner you leave home, then you've done your job.
14:24You can just sit down there and wait to retire.
14:27Maybe get a cat.
14:29I'm allergic to cats.
14:30Well, a dog, then.
14:31Something.
14:32You'll need something to deal with the loneliness,
14:33because you will be lonely when Theo goes.
14:35My friend Paul, when his kids left home,
14:37he, er, bought a pet tiger.
14:40Raised him from a cub.
14:41They went everywhere together.
14:43Absolutely inseparable, they were.
14:45Then in 1976, they changed the law,
14:47and he had to get it destroyed.
14:50Yeah, so that's that, then.
15:13Skipper, in?
15:14Oh, hello again, Mr. Mammoth.
15:16Do you mean Peter?
15:18Everyone calls from Skipper.
15:18Shouldn't you be teaching?
15:20It's Tuesday morning.
15:21Don't worry about it.
15:22I've got it covered.
15:23Cash your minds back.
15:24The summer of 1977.
15:26The premier football of his generation,
15:28Mr. George Best,
15:29and the premier PE teacher of his generation,
15:31me,
15:32walk into Soho's famous Raymond Revue Bar,
15:35with a couple of absolute stunners.
15:39And I mean stunners.
15:41Well, I'm afraid he's gone fishing.
15:43He's been a bit tense since yesterday.
15:45Had a bit of a stressful day.
15:48Really?
15:49Something that's happened after I left.
15:52Just when I started to get him
15:53feeling like himself again,
15:54that's a shame.
15:56But don't you worry.
15:57Tony's going to look after him.
15:59Hell, have you married us from Nutter?
16:01Eh, Mrs. C?
16:03See you later.
16:04.
16:06.
16:06.
16:06.
16:06.
16:23Oh, God.
16:57Ahoy, Skipper!
17:01Oh!
17:04Hey, hey!
17:07Tony, you're here.
17:09Of course I am.
17:10Hey, you don't need to thank me.
17:13Whoa!
17:15So, uh, what are you fishing for?
17:17Mullet, actually.
17:18Look, I don't want to sound ungrateful, but really I'm here for the solitude.
17:21You and me both.
17:23What could be better, eh?
17:24Two likely lads out on the open lake doing a spot of fishing, shouldn't have that brain
17:28of yours sorted.
17:29Then you can march back in that school with your head held high and kick that pretender
17:33out of your throne.
17:35God only knows what he's up to right now.
17:37Well, when I, uh, joined this, uh, school, uh, I didn't think I would really be able
17:48to fit in.
17:54All of you held me trade to become the best version of myself.
17:59Oh, God.
18:06We need you back, Skipper.
18:10What use of a bait?
18:12Maggots.
18:13The man in the shop said they did the best for mullet.
18:15Woo-hoo-hoo!
18:16He saw you coming.
18:17They are rubbish.
18:19Nope, I've got just the thing.
18:22Now, if I remember correctly, the mullet is a very, very easily distracted fish.
18:27You must get their attention.
18:28That is why I always bring one of these.
18:36Good sharp blast on that every couple of seconds.
18:38They'll be flying into your net.
18:40Get in the water.
18:47Oh, I'm sure it was catching mullet.
18:52What a scare in bears.
19:02Oi, sad case.
19:04How was your birthday party?
19:06I heard Cowley was there.
19:08Could you be any more tragic?
19:10You need to get a life, you wanker.
19:12Oi, Darren!
19:13If I wanted advice from you, it would be about being a bellend.
19:19What did you just say?
19:22Um, oh, God.
19:25It's fine.
19:26Distraction!
19:31One minute, they're a baby in your arms.
19:34Next minute, they don't need you any more.
19:37You got kids, Ashley?
19:39No.
19:40I'm 16.
19:41That's a shame.
19:43Mum!
19:44Help!
19:45No!
19:46Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!
19:47What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?
19:49Get out of my way!
19:50I'm going to barter him.
19:51You should be ashamed of yourself, Darren Malone.
19:53I know who you are.
19:54I know your mum.
19:55She goes to my Zumba class.
19:57I recognise you from your trip to Disneyland.
20:00What are you talking about?
20:01Your mum shared a picture on the WhatsApp group.
20:03You were crying your little eyes out because there was wasps all over your ice cream.
20:08I mean, it'd be a shame if one of those pictures ended up on another WhatsApp group, wouldn't it?
20:13Like a year 13 one.
20:15I'm in your tent.
20:16Whatever.
20:16Ay-yi-yi!
20:18Don't mess with the Taekwondo, Darren.
20:21I did two weeks straight in 2022.
20:23I enjoyed it, but clashed with Theo's clarinet lessons.
20:28Since I said I was a natural.
20:31You're weird.
20:32You're weird.
20:43Thanks, Mum.
20:45Oh, it's no biggie.
20:47So, do you want to go get a coffee together?
20:50No, can we just go home?
20:53Maybe then we can get that photo done together?
20:59Yes.
21:01I can't believe we didn't catch any fish.
21:04Well, I caught a few.
21:05Before you started getting the mullet's attention.
21:08That's been on the lake for, what, six hours?
21:10About that.
21:12Before the police turned up.
21:14Yeah.
21:14Anyway, my rope.
21:19It doesn't stop.
21:20There's no off switch.
21:22Roger, how do you do it?
21:24Roger?
21:27Sorry, what did you say?
21:29Mr. Mammoth.
21:31It's harder now than it was when I was at school.
21:33At least there he left at three.
21:35I didn't know what to do.
21:37How do you put up with him?
21:38It's harder in the past, but these days...
21:42Hearing aids?
21:43That's what Mammoth thinks, too.
21:45No.
21:46They're just said, folks.
21:48Absolute godsend.
21:49I'm currently listening to a playlist called
21:53Relaxing Rainforest.
21:54I just want him to respectfully go away.
21:59Good luck with that.
22:01I had a good run.
22:04Forty years without him.
22:09But then I always knew he'd come back.
22:13Godspeed, Peter.
22:15Right, here we go.
22:17Now, Skipper.
22:18I've been thinking about your old...
22:21Back in the day,
22:22when me or one of the boys fell a bit down,
22:24needed to just perk our spirits up,
22:26maybe unwind, blow off some steam,
22:27we'd have a big weekend away.
22:29And I mean a big weekend away.
22:31We're talking Magaluf,
22:33Las Vegas, Tenby.
22:35But whatever it takes, Skipper...
22:50Whatever it takes,
22:52I'm going to be there for you.
22:53Tony Mammoth is going to be by your side.
22:56Like a shadow.
22:58Like a shadow that's there all the time,
22:59even in the night time.
22:59Like a moon shadow.
23:02But not the Cat Stevens.
23:03Oh, God, I can't do this.
23:04OK, OK, I'll come back to school.
23:07Please, leave me alone.
23:09Hey, good man.
23:11Well done.
23:12Well done, you.
23:12And well done, us.
23:14What a team.
23:15What a team.
23:16Cheers.
23:25Now, I'm sure we're all grateful for the wonderful job Mr Reynolds has done,
23:29but I am returning full-time as of today.
23:33Three cheers for the Skipper.
23:35Hip, hip.
23:38Thank you, Mr Mammoth.
23:42Now, there's some good news and some bad.
23:46I'm afraid I'm going to have to reverse a number of the projects undertaken in my absence,
23:52including returning the new paddle equipment.
23:54You've got to be kidding me.
23:55The good news, we have managed to find the resources to refresh the sand in the long jump pit.
24:05Any questions?
24:07No?
24:08Great.
24:09Welcome back, Skipper.
24:11Welcome back.
24:24Shall I top up the car, sir?
24:26Cheers, babe.
24:26Yes, sir.
24:28Can't I just practice my long jump, sir?
24:30Obviously not.
24:31Because when the sun's out, just run about, remember?
24:35Cheers.
24:47Skipper, I don't know what to think about sports day.
24:49I think we need to bring back metal javelins.
24:52I'm not going to break any records with phone ones.
25:07Great.
25:09Beach, baby, beach, baby, give me your hand, give me something that I can remember.
25:16Just like before, we could walk by the shore in the moonlight.
25:23Beach, baby, beach, baby, there on the sand from July to the end of September.
25:30Because I feel this fun, we'd be out in the sun every day.
25:38Great.
25:39You're welcome.
25:39You're welcome.
25:39Bye.
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