00:00I really appreciate you guys coming to this new hour of material because I know it's a lot of
00:03God stuff and a lot of gay stuff and my agents are nervous. I started doing stand-up in churches.
00:11They called it a testimony, but I was getting laughed. Easter's a better story than Christmas,
00:17in my opinion. It's where all of our merch is from. You've seen it. Christmas is not as good
00:22a story. It's just a long walk to a barn. Jesus is barely in it. He comes in right at
00:27the end.
00:28He does zero magic. Jesus is basically the post-credits scene in a Marvel movie. It's
00:34trash. If you have depression, you have a pretty complicated relationship with death. You sort
00:41of look at death like it's the phantom of the opera. You're like, oh, that's scary. But
00:45then sometimes you're like, I mean, that side of his face is kind of hot. Coming out as bisexual
00:50at 30 feels like saying to a waiter, by the way, it's my birthday. They're like, cool,
00:55sing to yourself. You're a grown woman. So I started dating this girl who was so hot.
01:01I was like, oh my God, am I Pete Davidson?
01:09When I started dating women, it was the closest I'd come to feeling religious in a long time.
01:14My friends would complain about their boyfriends and husbands. And I was like,
01:17have you heard the good news? You don't have to live like this.
Comments