- 6 minutes ago
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00:00Now, I have something very, very special to you to start and kick the day off.
00:05We're going to start off with a conversation that's all about what it really takes to get your breakthrough.
00:10That's how we want to start our morning off.
00:11We're going to set intention, we're going to learn a few things, and we're going to keep going through our day.
00:16So here to help us do that is a woman who truly needs absolutely no introduction.
00:21If you don't know, you're about to know.
00:23She is an entrepreneur, she's an author, she's a businesswoman,
00:27and she's one of the most powerful, dynamic voices in the culture today.
00:32Please help me welcome my friend, the beautiful, the one and only, Bozma St. John.
00:43Thank you. Hi, guys. How you doing?
00:50Good, good. Good to see you. I know it's early, because y'all were outside, right?
00:54I was. You hear my voice?
00:57Yeah, that's what happened.
00:58But anyway, I'm so glad to be here.
01:00And for those who are in the space, I really want us to lock in,
01:05because I have a message for you.
01:09And I'm so excited to share it, because I think that a lot of times,
01:13we don't share enough about what it really takes to break through the middle,
01:18and to break through mediocrity, and to get to the top.
01:21You know, I've been fortunate to have had a career that now people look back at it,
01:28and they're like, oh, gosh, you know, that looks amazing, right?
01:31I've had all the top jobs.
01:33CMO of Netflix, CMO of Uber, CMO of Apple Music, head of global marketing and music and entertainment at PepsiCo.
01:43Like, I've done the things.
01:44And it always surprises me when I get the questions about how to do it, where to go, how to break through,
01:53because I'm like, why is it that we don't share this more freely?
01:57You know, why is it that we don't have these conversations?
01:59And so, for this talk, I said, you know what, I would love to create a moment where I can talk about what it means to be first,
02:07what it means to be fierce, and what it means to be fractured.
02:10Because sometimes we look at our lives and think that if there's anything that doesn't look like according to plan,
02:18that somehow we can't make it to the top.
02:21And so I'm going to break down each of those.
02:23Are you ready?
02:25You feel good?
02:28Good.
02:28All right.
02:29So, first, first, first, first.
02:31Here's the interesting thing about being first.
02:35First of all, there is no trail that has been blazed for you.
02:40You know, so you are outside cutting down trees, pathways, running through barnacles in order to get to the other side.
02:49Right?
02:49And then what happens is there are other people who follow behind you, and they have an easier way because you were first.
02:56Now, unfortunately, sometimes the person who is first doesn't get a lot of credit for cutting down the branches, for clearing the path, for setting the stakes so that it is easier to go.
03:09So, I think one of the things we've got to think about is whether or not you actually want to be first.
03:14First is not always for everybody.
03:16First is not always for everybody.
03:17Sometimes your pathway to the top is following closely behind somebody else who is already making it.
03:25And so, if you have that honest conversation with yourself, I think that's one of the first keys to really understanding what your metal is worth and then how you can make sure that you are moving in the direction you need to.
03:37Because if you don't want to cut down the branches, if you don't want to be hit by the thorns, it doesn't mean you're weak.
03:44You just might have very sensitive skin.
03:46You know?
03:46And therefore, you're like, look, I can't do all of that.
03:49And if you do do it, you will stop.
03:51And then you'll never make it to first.
03:54Or you'll never make it to the end.
03:55And so, the thought about having a position in which you decide, are you first and foremost, or are you following closely behind in order to get to the top?
04:07Now, I know sometimes in competition, we think first is like the grand prize, right?
04:13So, yes, in business, you want to be first at the top of the org chart.
04:17You want everybody to fall below you.
04:19Or if you're in a race, you want to win the gold medal.
04:25You know, I used to run track, and my coach would always threaten us and motivate us.
04:30Let me say it that way.
04:32Motivate.
04:32By saying that second place was the first loser.
04:35And so, you'd be like, oh, okay, I see.
04:37That's how we're playing.
04:38Okay, so I've got to get gold, right?
04:40Because if you didn't get that, you're just going to sit down and be upset the entire day.
04:44However, I do think that there is some understanding that we need to get into about what it means to actually have that gold or what it means to be at the top of the org chart.
04:55Again, the question is not necessarily that you need to do that in order to be as successful as possible.
05:02Because your success might come from being the person who actually creates evolution in the role.
05:10And so, if you're at the top of the org chart, a lot of times what the pressure is like is that people are looking for you to change direction and change movement immediately.
05:20You know, every time I got into a corner office, whether it was at Uber or even at Apple, which was extraordinarily difficult because we were introducing Apple Music, which was a brand new way of people consuming music, right?
05:36iTunes was the big monster at the time, taking up 98% of the market share.
05:42And Apple Music needed to introduce this new process to everyone.
05:45Now, the challenge with that is that, of course, you're trying to tell people how to make a new thing happen or what to expect of this incredible new opportunity when they don't have any concept for it at all.
05:59The pressure is hard.
06:00And the challenge is that if you don't have great results immediately, sometimes you lose that opportunity.
06:06And so, another question that you have to ask yourself is do I want to start something brand new in which I have to teach people how to make it happen or can I take an existing idea and evolve it in a way that's going to be great and therefore get me to that first position?
06:25Now, I founded a company called Eve by Bose, which is, okay, all right, thank you, which is a hair and beauty company.
06:34And the reason why I'm going to tell you about it is that after having had many C-suite jobs and I was trying to decide what to do after I retired from corporate life, the idea of entrepreneurship was not first and foremost in my mind.
06:49However, I have been known to wear some hair, okay, and wear it well.
06:57In fact, when I was doing the Apple Music keynote, one of the topics that was talked about, aside from the new product, was my hair because I decided to wear it in my big curly afro.
07:10And thank you, sis, as I should, thank you.
07:13And it was interesting because there was so much talk about how I show up in the office.
07:20You know, it's like you're expected to look a certain way when you are first.
07:25And a lot of times what that means for most of us, especially as I'm looking around, is that we're not supposed to look like the way we look.
07:33You know, we have to mirror the way that other people look.
07:38And by other people, I usually mean white men.
07:41And that can be very constricting.
07:43I know it sounds like a superficial because it's, you know, what you're wearing on the outside, but it absolutely affects what happens on the inside.
07:51It's like wearing shoes that are too tight, right?
07:53It's like you put them on, you think they're cute, you walk around for three minutes, and then it starts to pinch you.
07:59And then all of a sudden you're upset.
08:00And that's what it's like for most of us every single day when we go to a job or we're in an environment in which we're not comfortable, where we have to pretend to be somebody else.
08:10Imagine that somebody else gets to show up exactly as they are in their full freedom.
08:15And you might be smarter, you might be faster, you might be better, but that shoe is too tight.
08:20And therefore, you can't move the way you're supposed to.
08:23And so the idea of showing up fully as yourself is so important.
08:28And so as I walked through my corporate life and my corporate experiences, I just became fuller and fuller and fuller, you know, until I was showing everything that I had, which then made me what I am.
08:41And in so doing that, there was lots of conversation about my hair.
08:45And sometimes, you know, folks have something to say, but I didn't really care because I'm like, I'm just going to do whatever I want.
08:52Some days, the weave is going to be down to my ankles.
08:55Other days, it's going to be in braids.
08:57Another day, it's going to be in an afro.
08:59And I'm just going to wear it as diverse as I want it to.
09:03And so when I decided to leave corporate life, I said, you know, starting a new business in that space was what I wanted to do.
09:10Because a lot of the challenges that I was facing at the time, even in trying to get looks together, was that, you know, if you're in the market for buying braiding hair or bundles or wig or anything else that you want to adorn yourself with, even hair care, a lot of times those products are not manufactured for us.
09:33And so my assumption was that it must be very difficult to do so.
09:40Or maybe the market opportunity was so small that it didn't make any sense for the manufacturers to make it for us.
09:49But guess what?
09:49Well, 80% of the consumers of hair extensions and beauty supplies that directly affect black women, it's 80% of the market.
10:0380%.
10:04That is more than half, of course.
10:07And so as I thought about it, I said, well, how am I going to do it if it's so difficult to execute?
10:11Well, I took myself to China by myself, yes, walked around the biggest hair show in the world, and, well, day one I didn't have a translator, so that was very difficult to understand what was going on.
10:23But day two I learned my lesson, I brought a translator with me.
10:26And what I asked were the simple questions about manufacturing.
10:30You know, how do you do it?
10:31How do you make sure that, you know, you can get the right texture?
10:35Why are lace colors not made for brown people?
10:38All of these very basic questions, and I thought it was going to be a mountain of a, you know, like answer, but it wasn't.
10:46It was a very simple one, which was that nobody had asked.
10:50They didn't really think it needed to, because you go on YouTube or you Google it, and there's 14 million videos of black women customizing the hair anyway.
11:01So why change it?
11:02And I took that knowledge, learned about the business, learned about manufacturing, and then I built a factory in Ghana, which is where my family is originally from.
11:12I was like, I'm going to put it on the continent and have us create it.
11:16And then I'm going to create hair care, which is used with ingredients from the motherland to make sure that the products that we're using, which have been used for millennia, are in our bodies and in our hair.
11:30And for me, it was evolution of an idea, because it's not as if I created hair extensions, right?
11:37But I'm creating a new way to understand how to use them and building a business through it.
11:43And so sometimes becoming first is not about creating.
11:47It's not about just making the new thing happen.
11:50Sometimes it is an evolution of an idea to make sure that you're able to get to the top,
11:55because you already have an understanding of what the marketplace looks like.
12:00So that's first.
12:02Now, about the fierce part.
12:04This is the part I love, because I think a lot of us walk around, we're like, we fierce, right?
12:09We're beautiful.
12:10We're good.
12:10We're so smart and able.
12:12But somehow we don't show up that way.
12:15We become understated because of fear of rejection or fear that our experiences aren't worthy of the room that you're in.
12:24I can't tell you how many times people ask me about what it's like to be in the corporate boardroom
12:31when every single board of directors seat is filled with somebody who doesn't look like me, not black, not a woman.
12:40And I have been in those rooms countless times.
12:44And what I'm telling you is that we have to show up in the fullness of ourselves in every single room you're in.
12:50And sometimes, you know, we believe that, like, hey, look, I'm way too low on the totem pole.
12:55I can't show up in the way I want to because I won't make it to the top.
12:59Well, I'll tell you this, which, you know, a little controversial, but I'll tell you this.
13:03However you're behaving right now is the way that you'll behave when you're in that room.
13:07It doesn't get easier.
13:09It gets harder.
13:09And so the challenge of, like, showing up in the fullness of yourself with your ideas, with your history, with your perspective, which is nuanced.
13:19It doesn't have to be general.
13:21And so one of the ways to change that language is, you know, when you say we, we, we, and you have an opinion about something.
13:29You say, well, we think, or they think, or I, you know, they believe.
13:35Those types of words then increase the likelihood that you're not bringing yourself to the experience.
13:42If you're saying, I think, I've experienced, I believe, then you are bringing the fullness of yourself.
13:50But we're afraid to do that because we think we're going to be isolated and that somehow won't be accepted.
13:55The challenge with being fierce is that in order to be fierce and in order to be noticed, you actually have to be different.
14:03You have to be unique.
14:04And interestingly enough, I think about physics a lot in that capacity.
14:11So there's matter, right?
14:13So physics, the concept of anything, a human being or a space like this is called matter.
14:20And a molecule is what makes up matter.
14:24So lots of molecules together make up one matter.
14:27If one molecule changes in a matter, the entire matter changes.
14:32If one molecule is added to the matter, the entire matter changes.
14:37And so the consideration that you are the molecule that changes the matter should be the way that you walk the earth.
14:42So when you walk into that room where there are ideas being shared and you're afraid to contribute your specific idea, just know that without that, nothing changes.
14:54Nothing ever happens without that change of you being in the room.
14:58And if you weren't in the room, it'd be a different space.
15:00Additionally, I think about ancestry.
15:05And I know all of us think about, like, the DNA and the ancestors that we came from and how we got to be.
15:11Well, consider this, which is that just looking back, you know, over the course of time, it took two people to create the DNA and to create you that are sitting here, right?
15:22If you go back 12 generations, that's 4,000 people, 4,000 people that it took for you individual to be here.
15:32How could you not consider that that depth of history and identity would be important in the room that you're in?
15:40And so I never walked into a room and felt that I couldn't talk about where I'm from or the opinions that I had or the experiences that shaped me because I matter.
15:51The molecule that is me matters in the room.
15:54And if more of us felt that way, even when you are at the very bottom of the org chart, I promise you it will change the trajectory of your career.
16:03You know, oftentimes I'm asked about that.
16:05Like, you know, how did you make it?
16:07How did you make it?
16:08How did you make it?
16:09How did you break through the middle?
16:10I broke through the middle because I came with 4,000 people.
16:14I came with people who have been through the struggles, who have been through the impossible math of things,
16:22that we know that the chances of them making anything would be zero.
16:27But yet, here I stand.
16:29I often also reference the fact that my father, who's from Inzamaz, a small part of Ghana,
16:36his father was a chief.
16:39His father had four wives.
16:42The youngest of them was named Bozma, which is who I'm named after, and was my father's mother.
16:49She died when he was two years old.
16:51And it doesn't, there's not a day that passes where somebody says my name that I'm not awed by the fact that this woman that I didn't know that died so long before I was born,
17:05who I am named after, was the wife of a chief.
17:08And I've been the chief of global companies four times.
17:12I mean, I think it's just, it is an incredible idea.
17:16And so, when I walk into rooms, believe me, I'm coming with her.
17:20Because how could I not?
17:21And that's the same for all of you.
17:23And so, when you come into a room, consider the history, the 4,000 people that it took for you to enter that space,
17:30and why you would make a difference in it.
17:32Because if you don't do it, then nothing changes.
17:36There's no difference in who you are.
17:38And, I mean, I mean, why wouldn't we want to show up like this?
17:43I mean, come on.
17:44Who looks like this?
17:45We do.
17:47And so, most of the time, I also walk in, and, you know, somebody has something to say about what I'm wearing, what I'm saying.
17:51I'm like, you're welcome.
17:52You're welcome to a new idea.
17:54Welcome to my world.
17:55You might want to enter here.
17:57Another thought that I had for you about being fierce is around confidence.
18:02I know a lot of us also struggle with that because of past experiences, the ways that we think people interpret us.
18:10And I'll give you a quick story about when I was 12 years old, and my family immigrated from Ghana to the U.S.
18:18We moved to Colorado Springs, Colorado.
18:20And there weren't a lot of people that looked like us there or ate any kind of food we ate.
18:25However, I entered in the seventh grade, and I think y'all remember what you were like when you were 12, right?
18:33Probably didn't feel great in your body.
18:36I certainly didn't.
18:37And you just want to fit in.
18:40But I couldn't fit in because I was too tall and too black, and I didn't have the same accent as everybody else.
18:48But miraculously, about two weeks after entering seventh grade, the popular girls decided they liked me, and they invited me to, you know, their after-school activities at somebody's house.
19:03So they go over there.
19:05Their mother orders pizza.
19:06You know, we have some Coke.
19:08We have a good time.
19:09Everybody is talking and dancing and gossiping and all of that.
19:13And I go home, and I tell my mom, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'm so excited.
19:16She's happy.
19:17She thinks, yes, okay, my daughter's getting settled.
19:20Then the next week, they're like, hey, look, we'll come to your house next.
19:25So I go home, tell my mom.
19:26I'm like, oh, now they want to come over here.
19:28I'm so excited.
19:30And so there was about four or five of them.
19:33And so I tell my mom, like, look, I think we need to order some pizza and get some Coke so that, you know, they feel welcome.
19:41And let me tell you something.
19:43You've not met my mother.
19:45But the way she looked at me and her eyebrows arched, and she said, absolutely not.
19:53And I was devastated.
19:55Because in that moment, I knew that my entire popularity was gone.
19:59You know, I was like, this woman is going to kill my entire social life.
20:02However, the lesson in it was extraordinary in that she told me that when somebody comes to your house,
20:11comes to your territory, they are going to behave in the way you behave.
20:15You do not assimilate to them.
20:17And it was a miracle.
20:19Not at the time I fell down crying.
20:21Okay, I was traumatized because I was like, oh, no, I'm going to get kicked out.
20:24However, it has become such an important lesson for me in my everyday life, in my corporate life, in my business life.
20:32Because the truth is that assimilation only leads to mediocrity because you cut out all of the brilliance of who you are.
20:41Some of those kids that were in that playtime, that day, who came to my house and ate contumere, which is a spinach dish,
20:53who ate the pepper soup that the little white children were, they had rosy cheeks and they were crying.
20:59But they survived.
21:01And those same girls who I am currently friends with now, in fact, my friend Summer, who looks exactly like what you think her name sounds like,
21:12came to visit me last week.
21:16You know, we are, or last year, she's, you know, 32 years of friendship.
21:20And when she walked to my house, the first thing she asked for was my mom's contumere.
21:24You know, and that's the amazing thing is that, I think sometimes, again, we think that assimilation is going to make us easier.
21:34You know, it's going to make it easier for people to interact with us.
21:37But the truth is that it really just makes you boring.
21:41It makes you so bland.
21:42And if you think that that's what's going to help you break out of the mold, I promise you it is not.
21:48It is more of the edges of what you have.
21:50The ideas that you are uniquely identified with because of your experiences, that's what makes you better.
21:57I've said it time and time and time again that I am a better leader, a better executive, a better marketer because I'm a widow,
22:05because I'm a single mom, because I'm a great sister who's the eldest and the boss,
22:11because I am a great friend, because I found love again,
22:17because all of the things that make me who I am is why I'm powerful.
22:22And so when I walk into rooms, I'm taking all of that with me.
22:25There's no space I go into where I don't think about the experiences I've had and how that makes me better.
22:31And on that point, I'll come to the fracture.
22:34Oh, this is a big one because, again, I feel like a lot of times we consider the brokenness of our experiences
22:43and think that we should hide them because people will see it and not believe we're strong enough
22:48to take on the responsibility of whatever the task is that's been drawn to us.
22:54I will tell you that, again, that is a lie.
22:56Your fracture is actually what makes you so incredibly powerful.
22:59So there's an art form, a Japanese art form called kintsugi.
23:04And kintsugi, you might have seen it before, it is when pottery has broken or, like, a plate has broken
23:11and they fuse it back together with a precious metal, usually gold or silver or something like that.
23:17It is gorgeous.
23:19And then they reuse it and it becomes more valuable than the original plate.
23:23That's the way I see myself.
23:24I'm a fractured person because of the experiences of trauma, microaggressions, racism, sexism that I've experienced.
23:33But I am stronger because of those experiences.
23:36I'm so much better because I have empathy and I understand what it actually takes to overcome.
23:42And so the idea of your fracture, whatever that might be, you know,
23:46sometimes we think it's perhaps an experience in your childhood, maybe a broken heart, perhaps a death that shocked you.
23:53There are so many different fractures that we feel and we feel that we have to go underground and hide it
23:59because other people will see our sorrow and think that we can't make it.
24:04Well, let me tell you, it makes you so much better when you're able to share that experience with somebody
24:09and have them connect with you.
24:11As a leader in many companies, always the idea that I would show my fracture is what allowed other people to show theirs to me.
24:19It is what allowed my team to be its most authentic self.
24:24And in so doing, I got more powerful because my teams actually were riding with me.
24:30You know, there was no pretense.
24:32There was no way to say that, you know, there's an idea that you have that doesn't make sense.
24:37I look at you and say, well, of course it makes sense because you've been through that.
24:40You know, tell us about that experience.
24:42And the work is better, regardless of the work that you do.
24:46It is better because of your fracture, because of the things that you've experienced.
24:50And so never think that perfection is actually what's going to get you to the top.
24:55And then last bit of that, fracturing also means fractures in your career.
25:00You know, again, I think people look at my resume and they think, wow, this is brilliant.
25:05You know, 25 years, it's like, you know, hit after hit after hit.
25:10There were so many fractures in that journey.
25:14Meaning, environments I was in that didn't make me feel great, that made me feel small,
25:20where people tried to undermine me or try to cut me off, cut me down.
25:24But every time that something like that happened, I had to pivot and find a way around it.
25:30It's made me so much faster than everybody else.
25:32And so therefore, I'm able to move in ways other people can't move,
25:36because they've never had that kind of fracture before.
25:39And so consider the ways in which your life has fractures,
25:43and how will you use it to make yourself more powerful.
25:46Never hide it.
25:47Think of yourself now as Kintsugi.
25:50I certainly do.
25:51I think of myself as human Kintsugi all the time.
25:54I'm like, look at my brilliance of my fracture,
25:56because that's what's made me a powerful leader.
25:59And so if you want to break out of the mediocrity of the middle,
26:03I hope that these three things will stick with you.
26:06In order to be first, sometimes you've got to be the one that's cutting down the branches,
26:10or you can follow second behind and make sure that you're first when you're end.
26:15Next, you've got to be fierce,
26:17which means that you've got to bring your full self, every single part of you.
26:22Do not hide anything.
26:24Don't assimilate.
26:24And then third, go ahead and be fractured.
26:28It is okay.
26:29You don't have to be perfect in order to win.
26:31Thank you so much for having me.
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