Bear Grylls - Wild Reckoning S01E03

Orbit.Room

4 hours ago

Transcript

00:01The Welsh Coast.

00:03This is a place that I call home.

00:06It's rugged, wild, unforgiving at times.

00:11And out here, nature tends to strip things back to what really matters.

00:18I'm Bear Grylls.

00:20I've spent my life in the wild,

00:22testing myself against the toughest conditions on Earth.

00:26But my latest challenge is something I've never done before.

00:31Dealing with people's lives, their relationships,

00:34and their greatest conflicts.

00:36Is that supporting or is that degrading?

00:38We weren't always honest about wanting to be there.

00:41In a two-day experience, no distractions, no way out.

00:45Oh, I got you.

00:47With my hand-picked team of experts,

00:49we've set physical and emotional challenges.

00:53Can their time in the wild...

00:55You're nearly there.

00:56I'm gonna die.

00:57..heal old wounds...

00:59I don't want to talk about it!

01:01..resolve differences...

01:03I do trust you!

01:04..and forge new futures.

01:07We're immensely proud of the person you are.

01:09This is Wild Reckoning.

01:14Today, I'm going to meet 53-year-old Dawn.

01:18She's come to me for help because she hasn't spoken to her brother David

01:22for almost five years.

01:24It would mean a lot if we could rekindle our relationship

01:30and put the past behind us.

01:33This, I feel, is our last chance.

01:36So if we can't find a mutual ground here,

01:39I don't think we will have a relationship going forward.

01:45Watch out for the snakes!

01:47Don't say that!

01:49Welcome to the wild.

01:51Tell me your situation.

01:52My relationship with my brother is broken.

01:55I was abandoned at birth and I went through the care system,

01:59finally adopted.

02:00My mother had my brother after being sterilised,

02:04so he was a miracle child.

02:06But she kept him and she didn't keep me.

02:08It hurt a lot.

02:10And does your brother hear that?

02:12No.

02:13My brother hears I had a great life because I was adopted,

02:16where he had to look after my mum because she had severe epilepsy

02:20and he was hard done by.

02:24Dawn reconnected with her birth family in her late teens,

02:28but it wasn't always easy.

02:31They didn't reach out to me, I reached out to them

02:34because I yearned to be a part of their family.

02:38I was the outsider knocking on the door.

02:41After their birth mother died in 2021,

02:44she and her brother broke off contact.

02:47But Dawn wants to give things another chance.

02:50I do miss him.

02:52I do love him.

02:53I just sometimes don't like him.

02:55And there's a difference.

02:57And I think he might be ready now.

02:58He's going to be 50 this year.

03:00So I think it's time to try one last time.

03:04We're here for you.

03:05We're cheering you on.

03:06We're going to see you in 48 hours.

03:08God willing.

03:09What do you mean, God willing?

03:10Better.

03:11Stronger.

03:12I haven't even got life insurance.

03:14You're going to be amazing.

03:17Dawn's situation is tricky.

03:20Same mum, but very different childhood experiences.

03:25Can they together put the ghosts of the past to bed?

03:31Dawn's brother David has agreed to spend the next two days

03:35with her in the wild.

03:37But every story has two sides.

03:40And he sees their falling out quite differently.

03:43We haven't spoken or seen each other for around five years.

03:48The reason why we fell out is because she didn't attend our mother's funeral five years ago.

03:54She was just a no-show and there's been no explanation all these years.

04:00Kind of unforgivable, really.

04:02Do I want her back in my life?

04:07I think I'm 50-50 on that, to be honest, yeah.

04:12I'm hoping what I've planned for Dawn and David will give them a fighting chance at reconciliation.

04:22You think it's that way?

04:23Yeah.

04:24And the other person who's watching their every move will be relationship therapist, Simone.

04:27After five years apart, getting them to just talk will be a challenge.

04:34And survival guide, Naomi, who'll lead them through two challenges that I've designed to help them develop their communication.

04:42Don't move, David, do not.

04:45And build the trust they'll need.

04:47Walk then, be brave.

04:49If they're going to get this relationship back on track.

04:52I was the unlovable child.

04:54Will this wild reckoning make or break their relationship?

05:02Time to bring them face to face.

05:06Dawn, how are you feeling?

05:09Mixed emotions, nervous, but happy.

05:13OK.

05:14Are you ready?

05:15I'm ready.

05:16Let's go.

05:17Let's go.

05:32Hi.

05:33Hi.

05:34You OK?

05:35Yeah.

05:36Not bad.

05:37Sure?

05:38No.

05:39Shall I say?

05:40I was feeling so much tension.

05:43I was like, oh, my God, is this a big mistake?

05:45And I felt he might have regretted coming.

05:50Oh, probably the most awkward moment of my life.

05:54It's a pretty tense start, to be honest.

05:57But my first task with these guys is just going to be to force them to work together, despite the awkwardness.

06:04Has anyone used a compass before?

06:05Has anyone used a compass before?

06:07Oh, my gosh.

06:08When I was seven, yeah.

06:09I don't know if it worked.

06:10I just pretended I knew what I was doing.

06:12Survival expert Naomi will take them through the basics.

06:16You would twist your dial the south until it reaches that index line there.

06:20Yeah, I see now.

06:21Rotate yourselves, and then you're following your direction.

06:27A series of navigational bearings will lead them to camp.

06:31When they get there, they're going to find the food and shelter they need for the night ahead.

06:35Who would like to be in charge of the compass?

06:37David would.

06:38I'm just going to give it to me.

06:39There we go.

06:42I can't see it.

06:43You've got the best eyesight.

06:44Uh...

06:45Oh, here, here.

06:46Oh, here we go.

06:47What have you got?

06:48Follow path.

06:49Follow path east to open area.

06:50We've got to follow that way, so we need to turn this, because that white bit...

06:55You think just there and there?

06:56Yeah.

06:57A compass is an essential navigational tool.

07:00It's always going to be reliable, it's going to be accurate, but you've got to know how to use it.

07:07And David seems to have completely forgotten his briefing.

07:11If we've got to turn that, I'm not too sure.

07:14I think it's the other way.

07:15You think it's that way?

07:16Yeah.

07:17I can blame you, then, if it's wrong.

07:19Relationship therapist Simone is keeping a close eye on things.

07:24It's already going wrong, and this doesn't surprise me.

07:27When you have that much emotion we've just met, it actually does cause the logic part of your brain to go off.

07:36So, is that moving as we're walking?

07:38Um...

07:39Yeah, I...

07:40But then you keep turning it one way or the other?

07:42Yeah, because I'm trying to make it look like I know what I'm doing and I don't.

07:45Let's go back to the starting point and see where we are.

07:48And see what's right.

07:49We've got a lot of daylight.

07:50We might need it at this rate.

07:52Since meeting for the first time in our early teens, there's been some turbulence along the way.

07:58But we have been very close at times, yeah.

08:01Growing up, Dawn was like a hero to me.

08:04She just seemed like nothing got her down.

08:07She had a lot of ambition as well as being a good mum.

08:10And I looked up to her for that.

08:12Oh!

08:13What's this?

08:14Okay, open it up.

08:15Oh, there's a note.

08:17Okay, so South East.

08:19Oh, not too sure.

08:21We knew we were brother and sister.

08:24We had that bond.

08:25But we didn't know how to discuss our different paths in life.

08:31Maybe...

08:32My instinct is to say...

08:33We split up...

08:34No!

08:35..and then meet and cover so far.

08:37No, I don't want to split up.

08:39Yeah, okay.

08:40Dawn, I think I found something.

08:45What have you found?

08:47Follow track.

08:48120...

08:49120 degrees, is it?

08:51Oh, well done.

08:52Oh, right.

08:53That way.

08:54Yeah!

08:55So...

08:56Finally, it feels like the task is starting to work as planned.

09:00It's starting to shift and there's a bit more of a flow there.

09:05What's interesting is that when you walk, you activate the left and right sides of your brain.

09:10And it really helps you to process things.

09:13And that's why when you have a difficult conversation to have, it's really worth discussing it on the move.

09:20Oh!

09:21Oh!

09:22Dawn, look.

09:23Straight ahead.

09:24Time to up the ante.

09:25What does it say?

09:26I don't know, but there's a lot of water.

09:28Oh!

09:29Oh, no.

09:30That's not a bit of me.

09:31That'll be you.

09:32You've got to get a boat.

09:33I'll hold your bag.

09:35No!

09:36Dawn and David's next instruction is in a moored canoe in the middle of the lake.

09:42Will this tip?

09:43That'll be fine.

09:44Can they work together to get across safely?

09:56Oh, my gosh!

09:59Give me a minute.

10:00Oh, if you fall in, not to panic.

10:02All right, all right.

10:03Because it felt like you was about to panic.

10:04We are.

10:05We're going in.

10:06We've got movement.

10:07Ah!

10:08You all right?

10:09Don't panic.

10:10Where should I put my oar?

10:11In the water.

10:12Like this.

10:13And do that, yeah.

10:14Oh, my God, we're oaring.

10:15I'm not sure that's the terminology.

10:16Well, we're rowing.

10:17Over to the opening there.

10:19All right?

10:20You all right?

10:21That's it.

10:22Don't wait.

10:23Don't wait.

10:24Now go forward.

10:25Yes, yes!

10:26There's something.

10:27It's not moving.

10:28There is instructions, isn't it?

10:29What does it say?

10:30330, 25 metres.

10:34Is that all it says?

10:36Yeah.

10:37Straight ahead is where we're heading.

10:38All right?

10:39So that's where we're meant to be going.

10:40So that opening there, yeah?

10:42But they've missed a vital part of the instructions.

10:46Naomi to Dawn and David.

10:48Hi, Naomi.

10:49Please follow instructions clearly and swap vessels.

10:53Did it say swap vessels?

10:56That's correct.

10:59Oh, sorry.

11:00I kind of didn't read that bit.

11:02All right, over.

11:03So, hold on.

11:04Let's get a plan of action.

11:06We need to go forward.

11:08Ah!

11:09I'm just going to do it.

11:10You had me worried then.

11:11I thought he was going to take me down with you.

11:14In now.

11:15Right, here we go.

11:16I'm in.

11:17Oh!

11:18Oh, nearly done the splits.

11:22Hey, we've done it.

11:26I'm getting out now.

11:28Oh!

11:29Oh, I made it.

11:31You all right?

11:32Cunning.

11:34Yeah!

11:35Careful, careful!

11:36Oh, my God!

11:38You okay?

11:39Oh, I've got a little prickly prick somewhere.

11:46Oh!

11:47Let's go!

11:50After a difficult start, Dawn and David have navigated their way to camp.

11:55But more importantly, they seem relaxed and ready to communicate.

12:01Now they need to set up shelter.

12:04Do you say that's the back or the front?

12:06Oh, my gosh.

12:07This is so complex.

12:08Got zips and everything.

12:09Where does this go?

12:10Yeah, that's it.

12:11Oh, my gosh!

12:12Teamwork!

12:13Teamwork!

12:14Teamwork!

12:15Let's get a peg.

12:16I think we're too early for pegging.

12:19You take a breather then.

12:21I'll do that.

12:23Oh, mind you, you're going to get a lot of quick with Corys.

12:25Oh, my God!

12:26We're sticking out!

12:30Man!

12:31I can't help but notice you're having a bit of trouble with your tent here.

12:34Yeah.

12:35You've got your sleeping bags.

12:36You've got your roll mat.

12:37We're losing light quite quickly.

12:39I think I would start prioritising my fire and my food.

12:46Woo!

12:48Yes!

12:50As the day's gone on and the more activities we do, the less odd it feels to be, you know,

12:55talking to my sister again after so long.

12:58It's definitely reminded me of the good times.

13:02Possibilities of having that brother-sess relationship again, a few more percentage than it was before.

13:09All right, let's tuck in.

13:10As each decade has gone on, I've come to understand it wasn't so much about me,

13:15it was more about other people's struggles.

13:18What do you think?

13:20And they put it onto me and then I probably put it onto him because he stayed and there's just a lot.

13:28Kind of.

13:29To unpack.

13:33Dawn and David are starting to rediscover the relationship they came here to save.

13:40But if they want to move on, this is a perfect moment for Simone to help them open up further

13:47and talk about the reasons for their falling out.

13:51You two get along but why was it five years?

13:54Major thing happened in 2021.

13:57And that was your mother's funeral?

13:59Yeah.

14:00I think if she had said the day before or even on the morning, given a reason or excuse, whether it's valid or not,

14:07you know, at least it's something.

14:08And then to not get no contact and no explanation the coming days, weeks, months, and I wasn't going to be the one to reach out first.

14:18Is there anything that you want to ask?

14:20I felt like if I went, I would be, oh, let's see Dawn's emotions.

14:25Is she crying?

14:26How is her and David getting on?

14:28And I didn't want that to be the case.

14:30It was his mother's funeral.

14:32Our mother's funeral, not my mother's funeral.

14:34Our mother's funeral, yeah.

14:35So that in itself is a very interesting point, like how you both feel about your relationship with your mother.

14:42I felt like I didn't kind of deserve the same level of grief as he did.

14:48Right.

14:49Yeah.

14:50We hadn't had that much contact previously.

14:53I did go to see her in the hospital and I did kind of say goodbye then.

14:58And I think time had passed and I hadn't connected with her.

15:04So I'd grieved so much before her passing.

15:09You'd grieved before?

15:11That it was just, it wasn't the same as his.

15:15I'd grieved her so much as a child.

15:27Do you feel like you two have actually talked about the depth of pain and trauma that Dawn would have gone through as a child and how you keep that with you?

15:39Dawn's made a couple of like off the cuff comments, um, way, way back.

15:44And I can remember it as clear as day.

15:46You said, why was I giving up and you kept.

15:49Do you think if you was in my shoes you wouldn't ask the same question?

15:52Possibly.

15:53Yeah, possibly.

15:54Possibly.

15:55Yeah, yeah.

15:56If I was in your shoes, possibly.

15:57Possibly.

15:58Yeah.

15:59I asked that question when I was seven, eight.

16:02I asked that question to a social worker.

16:05Very natural to ask that question.

16:07Of course it's natural.

16:09Of course you can ask that question.

16:11I get that.

16:12But to me though, that was, that's the point.

16:14Oh, that's the point.

16:15Yeah.

16:16I get why you asked the question.

16:17I'm not, I'm not knocking you for that.

16:18But I did, I would have asked her as well.

16:20You as siblings are having to answer these questions.

16:24And even as adults, what you really need is your mother.

16:27To have held the two of you emotionally.

16:30And be able to answer those questions and take accountability for her part.

16:35Because it's not for you two to have to answer all these questions.

16:40I don't think she ever wanted to bond until our granddad's funeral, when she pulled me aside.

16:47That late in the day, 30 odd years or whatever had passed.

16:51And she said, you know what, you are really beautiful inside and out.

16:55What did that mean to you?

16:56It meant the world to me, because that's all I wanted.

16:59We could have had all those years, and only now you see it.

17:03That I didn't want anything else from you, but your love.

17:09I think Dawn's, and this is going back and throughout our relationship.

17:14I think she's underestimated my love for her and respect for her.

17:19Can you look at Dawn right now?

17:23Yeah.

17:24And, and, and tell her, because you know you two need to hear these things.

17:27Yes!

17:28But you know, if I had a housewarming party or a little birthday thing,

17:32you would always be the first one I'd invite.

17:34You was always the VIP.

17:35I never knew that.

17:36Well, I'm not going to go, I love you.

17:38Because I weren't raised with that.

17:40Me and mum only said it the first time a week before she died.

17:45When you have gone through something, like Dawn has been through,

17:50it doesn't matter who you are.

17:52Somewhere you don't believe that you're worthy of love.

17:55You hear it, but you don't quite take it in.

17:58So you were...

17:59Oh, my God.

18:00...actually...

18:01That is, that is the thing.

18:02You said it right on the...

18:04I was, I was the unlovable child, yeah.

18:07So, David, you were showing that, and actually Dawn, you couldn't receive it.

18:21Do you still feel love or is that tainted because I didn't go to the funeral?

18:26Okay, so I might love you, but whether I like you or not, you know.

18:30Yeah, I said exactly the same thing.

18:31It's like that.

18:32I said exactly the same thing.

18:33Did you?

18:34Did you?

18:35You can love someone, but sometimes I don't like the ways.

18:39You hear brother and sister go, I love you, but I don't like you right now.

18:43I think because you didn't grow up together, when you have a conflict, it feels like life or death.

18:48Yes.

18:49So you two are repairing right now.

18:52Yeah.

18:53I wish this never would have happened, and we hadn't lost this time.

18:56I wish I had my sister.

18:57Is it step by step?

18:59I think it's always good to sleep on things.

19:01I was shocked you took the step, yeah.

19:03Yeah, I thought you would be.

19:05Probably why I'd done it, just to shock you.

19:07Well, for Pete's sake!

19:14There was so much to get through, that as you can see,

19:17it's completely dark now.

19:19But we really made a lot of progress.

19:22Very important things were said.

19:24So what's left is for them to keep talking and keep listening to each other.

19:29It's a little bit of time as a healer and having more positive experiences

19:33with communicating and feeling understood.

19:36After almost five years apart, yesterday ended with Dawn and David confronting some painful topics.

19:54Those topics have been off limits for a long, long time for them.

19:59The question is, where has it left them this morning?

20:04I see two or three shooting stars.

20:07Honestly, if you want a shooting star, come to Wales.

20:11Well, I need tea.

20:16I feel a bit tearful, to say the truth.

20:20I think it was a fact that I still feel like he can't really...

20:27I don't know, accept me or...

20:29I don't know, it's just a lot.

20:31You all right?

20:32He might have said good things, but I will take all the negatives

20:35and the less nice things.

20:38I think that's enough water for two pounds.

20:40It's a relief to hear that the no-show was really out of grieving and sadness

20:46rather than anger and bitterness.

20:49I don't care if I ain't got a fork up.

20:51Over the years, perhaps there was always that little bit of a guard up from Dawn

20:55because I didn't want to get hurt.

20:57How's the tea? Nice.

21:01Pure joy.

21:03This is banging.

21:04Is it? This is nice, yeah.

21:05I would like to feel that she's going to let go of the past

21:09because you can't really undo the past.

21:13The tea is tinny, tinny tea.

21:15Things still feel fragile.

21:17Good morning.

21:18Oh, good morning. Good morning.

21:20But there are signs of change.

21:22From last night, what is one positive thing from each of you?

21:26My big positive I took away was Dawn's explanation for the no-show.

21:33So that was mine.

21:34Mine was that he actually...

21:39..did love me.

21:42But...

21:45..through his upbringing they weren't able to really...

21:48Express it.

21:49..vocally express it.

21:51There's one more challenge before Dawn and David's time in the wild ends.

22:02And this is really a chance to see if brother and sister are finally ready

22:06to put their faith in one another.

22:10They're going to be doing an abseil down this sheer cliff face,

22:14using a special forces technique that relies on counterbalancing each other's weight.

22:21Let's get you geared up.

22:22It will literally feel like they have each other's lives in their hands.

22:27Ready? I'm going to meet you at the bottom.

22:29My team is here to keep them safe.

22:33But this is all about the two of them.

22:36It's not my time.

22:38I feel good, yeah.

22:39It's not something I'd volunteer to do.

22:43So we're going on the one rope.

22:45That's it.

22:46Keep walking.

22:47Come on, you can do it.

22:48What?

22:49Are you all right?

22:50Are you sure?

22:51I'm not looking down.

22:52I'm not looking down.

22:53Don't look down.

22:55Right, Dawn, you're right on the edge now, right?

22:57OK?

22:58Yeah.

22:59Just be careful now.

23:00OK?

23:01Look at the edge.

23:02That's it.

23:03Oh, my goodness!

23:04OK, no, no.

23:05No, oh, my goodness.

23:06No fear.

23:07No fear.

23:08No fear.

23:09I'm dreaming.

23:10Yeah, it's called a nightmare.

23:11Right.

23:12Go.

23:13OK.

23:14We're good.

23:15We're good.

23:16I've got you.

23:17Look at that.

23:18We're over, right?

23:20Let go of that rock and hold this and trust me.

23:23Trust me.

23:24I do trust you.

23:25Right, now start walking.

23:26Dawn, you can do this.

23:27I promise you.

23:28Let's go.

23:29Good girl.

23:30I'm going to loosen it a bit more.

23:31Don't be scared.

23:32I've got you.

23:33I've got you.

23:34I've got you.

23:35I promise.

23:36I know, I know, I know.

23:37Right, walk then.

23:38Be brave.

23:39Don't put your feet like that.

23:40Put them like mine.

23:41Lean up.

23:42Let's go.

23:43Good girl.

23:44No, no.

23:45I'm all right.

23:46I know you are.

23:47Let's go.

23:48Let's go.

23:49That's it.

23:50You hang in there now.

23:51We've done this, right?

23:52Yeah.

23:53Good girl.

23:54Put your feet on that cliff.

23:55Like this?

23:56Yeah, we're upselling.

23:57We've got this.

23:58Hear what?

23:59We are doing well.

24:00We are smashing it.

24:01I'm really touched by David's encouragement,

24:03how he's doing that through the frustration.

24:05He's almost gone behind her there.

24:07Yeah.

24:08He's an actor.

24:09All right?

24:10Yeah.

24:11All right?

24:12Yeah.

24:13We're nearly there.

24:15Pin.

24:16Are you okay?

24:17I'm good.

24:18Step in.

24:19Step in.

24:20I'll give you a hug now.

24:23That was so scary.

24:24He took a cliff to give me a hug.

24:25He goes, I'll give you a hug now.

24:26I'm like, what?

24:27It takes me to have my life in your hands.

24:28Your life.

24:29Each other's lives in each other's hands.

24:30It felt good.

24:31Yeah.

24:32Yeah.

24:33Yeah.

24:34Yeah.

24:35Yeah.

24:36Yeah.

24:37Yeah.

24:38Yeah.

24:39Right.

24:40You know where you're going next one?

24:41Yeah.

24:42To be fair, I've seen a change in us.

24:43Like, communicating and the laughs don't really change as people, but obviously, together as brother and sister, there's definitely a change there and a closeness.

24:56I was quite shocked, actually, that he was so caring towards me. That kind of took me back.

25:13This is where we say goodbye to you.

25:16You could see how much David had respect and love for Dawn and how much Dawn really, really cherishes David and that relationship.

25:25They have to keep talking, keep pushing into that discomfort, but mingled with all that laughter that they have together.

25:33I hope that they find their way forward.

25:37After a challenging two days, their time in the Welsh wilderness has come to an end.

25:48Dawn and David have had a few days back at home.

25:52Now I'm coming to meet them for a final time.

25:58Have they decided to remain part of each other's lives or will this be where their journey ends?

26:05Dawn, David.

26:06Nice to meet you.

26:07Been tough?

26:08Yeah.

26:09I mean, that campfire time was a lot of emotion.

26:12Hearing my sister and seeing her upset is hard and it upset me.

26:16Over the years, I've tried to protect David from what I have gone through. I don't want to cause him any emotional pain.

26:22You don't want to burden me.

26:23Yeah, and I don't want to burden him.

26:24Yeah.

26:25So, yeah, that was the first time he's kind of heard anything like that.

26:28And what do you think ultimately you've learnt?

26:30I've learnt I won't be abseiling any time soon.

26:33And that really brought an emotion out in me to make it down there safely and together.

26:40I think what it was as well, the fear of going over that cliff top compared to having a chat with you.

26:47Yeah.

26:48I was like, oh, I wish we had spoke sooner and I wouldn't have to do this now.

26:52The chat's going to be easy after that.

26:54Not easier, yeah.

26:55What do you think you'll do differently moving forward?

26:59We have been messaging, we've had the odd phone call.

27:02So just taking it slowly and not having any high expectations.

27:06You know, we're trying to build a relationship which we didn't have the best grounding for.

27:11Start small.

27:12Fresh start.

27:13Bit like that campfire you had.

27:14It's like, you've got to look after it when it's small.

27:16Yeah.

27:17If you do that, if you smother it too much, it's going to go out.

27:20Oh my God, I love that.

27:21That was my highlight.

27:22If you look after that and nurture it, give it space and then when it's big it's easy.

27:26Yeah.

27:27Yeah.

27:28I love that.

27:29I'll definitely take that away with me.

27:31Proud of you both.

27:32It's had a great adventure ahead.

27:37Being out here really gives you time to think and just rest your mind.

27:42It's changed our relationship and it's got it back on track.

27:47Thank you so much.

27:48We love it.

27:49The most touching time was when he said,

27:51I was the VIP person and I was always invited to things first.

27:56And I translate that as he was proud to say, my sister's here.

28:01And that was his way of showing love.

28:06Dawn and David share so much love, so much laughter.

28:09And I'm just proud of them that they were brave enough to forgive the mistakes of the past and give this precious brother-sister relationship a real chance for the future.