- 3 weeks ago
Roast Battle Canada - Season 5 Episode 2 - Jimbo Lemon Allie Jeff
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00:00Tonight, lock up your closeted conservative cousins
00:03because two stars of Canada's drag race are gonna battle it out
00:07to see who has the biggest balls.
00:09I'm sorry, to see who can tuck the biggest balls.
00:12Am I allowed to say that?
00:14From Montreal's Just For Last Festival, I'm Ennis Esmer,
00:17and this is Roast Battle Canada!
00:30Welcome to the show whose merchandise is just one crusty sock.
00:45Tonight is gonna be so full of ignorance and hate,
00:48you'll wonder when they moved Montreal to Alberta.
00:53So buckle up, Canada, because it's about to get more unhinged
00:56than K-TREV's refrigerator door on cheat day.
00:59This is Roast Battle Canada!
01:06Now, let's meet our panel.
01:08Our first judge recently moved to a house in the country
01:11and has become a bit of a recluse.
01:13You know, I never would have guessed that based on how he talks,
01:16carries himself, dresses, and thinks.
01:18Give it up for the J.D. Salinger of sucking, it's K-Trevor Wilson!
01:23And as I see you on so many other programs, you work all over television,
01:31you're so funny, you're so talented, what the fuck happened here?
01:36All right!
01:39You've seen our next judge, Sabrina Jalise, in comedies, dramas, and even reality shows.
01:45She's like television's Swiss army knife.
01:47Not because she's versatile, but because each time she gets a role,
01:50audiences wonder, why is this tool even on here?
01:53Give it up for the woman who gets all the jobs, but none of the jokes, it's Sabrina Jalise!
01:59I'll write Pavarotti on fentanyl.
02:04I miscarried at three and a half months, and that was less painful than talking to you about your career.
02:14Our final judge, Russell Peters, is proficient at jiu-jitsu and recently got his blue belt.
02:20Purple.
02:21Recently got his purple belt, pardon me, his purple belt.
02:24And you just know, everybody at the dojo is really nervous about the voice he's gonna do once he gets to brown.
02:32Give it up for the man who's never met a stereo he couldn't type,
02:35it's Curry Cobra Kai, it's Butter Chicken Bruce Lee, it's Russell Peters!
02:42Hey, Anis, I heard you took up drumming recently, is this real?
02:45I may have rented a drum set and taken some lessons, yes.
02:48That's good, is it?
02:49Because you grew up in a Turkish house and they had one of those monkeys smashing the cymbals together your whole life?
02:54And your dad was like, that's you, son.
02:58And now let's get to the battle.
03:00It's a matchup between two favorites from Canada's drag race.
03:03It's Jimbo versus Lemon!
03:09I've already got my crown, so today I'm coming for blood.
03:12I am ready to gather up my sister like a ponytail.
03:15I think it'll be easy to read Jimbo because she's a life-sized clown.
03:21And that's not even a joke, that's really how she defines herself, so.
03:25If I'm such a clown, why are you so funny looking, you bitch?
03:28To be good.
03:30Yeah, let's do that.
03:31I want to roast Lemon by being shadier than her, which will be hard because she has a big shadow.
03:37I'm about to drag this bitch across the stage.
03:41Give it up for Jimbo!
03:43Jimbo!
03:53And Lemon!
04:01Jimbo versus Lemon, judges.
04:03We've got to size up this battle.
04:06Okay, Trev, let's start with you.
04:09I'm super excited for this.
04:10I'm actually a big drag race fan and feel like a very butch Ross Matthews right now.
04:16All right, Sabrina, your analysis.
04:18Oh, I'm so excited for this.
04:19This feels like when I was little and I would get my Barbies to fight each other.
04:24All right, Russell, your thoughts.
04:27I can't think of a single thing to say that's not going to get me canceled out here.
04:30Okay, let's get this battle started.
04:33Jimbo, are you ready?
04:35I don't think so.
04:36Could you hold on to this?
04:37I just need to slip into something more comfortable.
04:38All right.
04:52Okay, I'm ready.
04:53All right, Lemon, are you ready?
04:55Yeah, my first outfit was already good.
04:57Oh, all right.
04:58Audience, are we ready?
05:01Love and let's roast!
05:07Jimbo and I have worked together for years now.
05:09And along the way, I actually was lucky enough to meet Jimbo's mom.
05:13She's really sweet, she's incredibly petite, and she just seems like a really good person.
05:18So you wouldn't even need to see the stubble poking through her makeup to know she got it from her dad.
05:22Well, at least I knew my dad.
05:28At least I blew your dad.
05:29Ew!
05:31Ew!
05:32And then he died.
05:33I know.
05:34Syphilis.
05:35It'll get you.
05:36Watch out.
05:39No.
05:40Lemon, Lemon.
05:41Lemon.
05:42I'm a bit confused because I was told this was a roast battle and not a pig roast.
05:46So I'm wondering, where is the apple for your mouth?
05:50It's like, I don't get it.
05:54Lemon and I, we go way back.
05:56We competed together.
05:57But on the second time, she was the pork chop.
06:00Which makes sense because she's white, she's cheap, and she's surprisingly fatty.
06:06And for the record, if you're in the audience and you're even a little bit fatter than me, Jimbo hates you.
06:13Just to be so clear.
06:16It's not you I hate, it's your habits.
06:18No, I love, I love Lem, I do really do.
06:24Lem actually considers herself a rapper.
06:26Wait, bitch, it's my turn.
06:27Oh.
06:30I was waiting for you to be funny, go ahead.
06:36Jimbo is an incredible inspiration to people who want to try something really, really, really, really late in their lives.
06:43Jimbo is actually so old that she was the first brick thrown at Stonewall.
06:54Okay.
06:55If you've ever wondered why Lem's signature color is yellow, just take a look at that smile, okay?
07:04Her outfit matches every time.
07:06And who knew that plaque and tartar buildup could also be an accessory?
07:10Who knew?
07:16Let's hear it for gingivitis, everybody.
07:20Okay.
07:21A spaghetti noodle that's become sentient and is trying to get out of the hot water.
07:25A plastic bag stuck in a wind tunnel.
07:28And Helen Keller in those, like, really tall stripper clear acrylic heels.
07:33What do those three things have in common?
07:35Jimbo would lose a lip sync to all three of them.
07:38Ah!
07:43Well, Lemon, I think that you should seriously consider changing your name to Potato.
07:48Because you're round, your skin is dry, and you're lumpy.
07:55Last joke!
07:56Okay.
07:57Now, we know that Jimbo has an incredible career in drag, but before drag, Jimbo actually also had an incredible career.
08:08Did you guys know?
08:09Jimbo did the costumes for the puppies in Air Bud 2, which is how she got so good at dressing a little bitch.
08:16I was gonna say I was feeling triggered seeing a dog like you in a dress like that.
08:25It's straight from the collection.
08:27Well, let's see.
08:31What other jokes do we have up our cunts?
08:34Um...
08:36Let me just check here.
08:38Oh!
08:39Oopsie!
08:40Whoopsie doodle.
08:42Don't ask about my nipple.
08:43It was a screen door accident.
08:46I know, I'm very clumsy.
08:48Let's see.
08:49Let's see.
08:50I've got this one now.
08:52So, Lemon, I know that you love to look like a slut, and I know that you love to act like a slut, but we all know the only thing that you're fucking is ugly.
09:07Jimbo and Lemon, ladies and gentlemen, and I'm hearing everybody!
09:11Get over there.
09:13They're good friends, they love each other.
09:15All right, we gotta hear from the judges, everybody.
09:18K-Trev, what are your thoughts on that battle?
09:21This has inspired me.
09:22I think we should force all of our roasters to battle in full-length ball gowns from now on.
09:27Uh, no, I really enjoyed that.
09:29Great job to both of you.
09:30Okay!
09:32Sabrina!
09:34I mean, this was my favorite roast that's ever gone down in Roast Battle history, so thank you so much.
09:40It was so funny.
09:41The black, the tartar, Helen Keller in heels.
09:45I mean, it was perfect.
09:46The first brick in Stonewall, it was amazing.
09:49And actually, it's so nice to not have to pretend to know who you are this time.
09:55All right, Russell, your thoughts?
09:57Oh, I love a good Disney story.
09:58This was fun for me, you know?
10:01It was Belle and Cruella.
10:02It was great.
10:04I've never seen a giant nose wear a hat before.
10:06That's really something.
10:07Yeah.
10:08That's why I wear the long brim to try and outrace my nose.
10:11You got drag race, I got nose race.
10:14That's gonna be a long race.
10:16All right, judges, let's pick a winner.
10:18K-Trev, who you got?
10:20Uh, as the nephew of a dentist, I gotta go with the one who brought gingivitis into it.
10:24I'm going with Jimbo.
10:25That's one for Jimbo!
10:28Sabrina, who is your winner?
10:30It really was so, so close, but I do have to vote for the one who dragged me just now.
10:35It's Jimbo.
10:37That's two for Jimbo!
10:38I love you, Sabrina.
10:40And Russell, what do you got?
10:42Uh, I, uh, I now know what they're called ball gowns.
10:45Um...
10:47Yep.
10:48I'm gonna have to lean towards Jimbo on this one as well.
10:50Jimbo's the winner!
10:52The winner is Jimbo!
10:54But make some noise for both of our roasters, Jimbo Lemon.
10:58Amazing job.
11:00An amazing job.
11:03Well, that's it for part one, but up next we have a battle with more pokes than a gangbang with the Pillsbury Doughboy.
11:10More Rose Battle after this!
11:12Welcome back to Roast Battle, where the only people sketchier than the competitors are the audience.
11:32Which brings us to the only one of us who won't get cancelled for being on this show tonight.
11:37DJ Killa Jewel!
11:45And now let's get to the battle!
11:48It's Ally Pearce versus Jeff McHenry!
11:53Ally Pearce is a very pretty person, and I, uh, resent her for it.
11:58Um, so I'm going to destroy her, and, uh, this one's for all the shut-ins out there at home.
12:03I am so relieved that Jeff made it here, because I did not think his ATV was going to fit in the parking lot.
12:12I'll tell you what you can expect, pain and plenty of it.
12:15Give it up for Ally Pearce!
12:18And Jeff McHenry!
12:27Ally Pearce, Jeff McHenry, judges, we gotta size this battle up. It's fitting, Kate Trev, that we should start with you.
12:32First, we've had two of the stars of Drag Race, and now we have two cast members of Letter Kenny.
12:38Uh, number 34 and number 287 on the call sheet. Good to see you guys again.
12:41All right, Sabrina, tee this up for us.
12:42I haven't seen you in a while. Congratulations, Ally, on recently getting married.
12:44And, thank you, yeah. Thank you.
12:46And, Jeff, congratulations on recently getting that possum out of your ass.
12:47And, it's fitting, Kate Trev, that we should start with you.
12:49First, we've had two of the stars of Drag Race, and now we have two cast members of Letter Kenny.
12:53Uh, number 34 and number 287 on the call sheet. Good to see you guys again.
12:57All right, Sabrina, tee this up for us.
13:01I haven't seen you in a while. Congratulations, Ally, on recently getting married.
13:06And, thank, yeah. Thank you.
13:09And, Jeff, congratulations on recently getting that possum out of your attic.
13:16All right, Russell, what do you think?
13:17Oh, this is gonna be good. Gluten-free bread versus inbred.
13:24Okay, let's get this battle started.
13:26Allie, are you ready?
13:27I'm ready.
13:28Jeff, are you ready?
13:29I'm ready.
13:30Audience, are we ready?
13:32Well, then, let's roast!
13:38Allie's amazing. I love Allie.
13:40Uh, she's the Caitlin Clark of comedy.
13:42She's six feet tall, and her ass has bounced off hardwood in every city in North America.
13:52I'm not even that tall.
13:53Jeff has just convinced himself that three inches is six inches, so...
13:58Jeff is from Acton, Ontario, a town so small and shitty he should name his dick after it.
14:12You truly put the ick in hick.
14:17Thank you. And you put the tall bitch in, god damn, that's a tall bitch.
14:23And also, you look great tonight, Piers, but you got on more makeup than Jimbo and Lemon combined.
14:31Allie often wonders, she worries about when's the best time for her to start getting Botox.
14:40Allie, the best time for you to start was in 2019.
14:43Um, it's true. I've never had any work done.
14:47Jeff, on the other hand, has had two cosmetic plastic surgeries, and he got veneers, and he still looks like shit.
14:58Yes. I know they say to shop local, Jeff, but you gotta stop getting work done at the trailer park.
15:03Before getting into comedy, Allie worked for a recognized nonprofit.
15:12That's funny, I didn't realize that the Itty Bitty Titty Committee was a recognized nonprofit.
15:22Jeff talking about my tits is funny, because the last time he saw any was when he was being breastfed.
15:27Jeff has anxiety, insomnia, and he can't get a date, but he's got drugs for all three.
15:37Prozac, Ambien, and a big ol' bag of roofies.
15:44If you got roofies, you don't need the other two.
15:46Out of all the jokes, that's the one that got an applause break.
16:00All right, Montreal.
16:03The one you didn't write.
16:04Yeah.
16:05Allie should suck my dick, because it's the closest she'll ever get to having a taste of stardom.
16:19Wow.
16:23Allie is a viral comedian, and by that I mean she's a comedian who has the herpes virus.
16:29I would rather have herpes than look like herpes.
16:41Jeff is lonely, he's broke, and he has a bad relationship with his mom.
16:46He's like the blueprint of a school shooter.
16:51Oh, don't worry, he would never go on a shooting spree.
16:53He doesn't have the upper body strength to carry an AK-47, so.
17:00Last joke.
17:02Allie, not only is Allie a Canadian comedian, she married a Canadian commercial director.
17:08So the answer is yes, apparently two people can survive on a diet of tap water and Dollarama cat food.
17:15At least I'm married, Jeff.
17:21You, uh...
17:23You look like you call your fleshlight sweetheart.
17:32Allie Pierce and Chuck McEnery, everybody!
17:36Let them hear it, that was great, come on!
17:39That was great.
17:41K-Trev, how was that battle for you?
17:45Uh, I really enjoyed that.
17:46I think that's the kind of thing we need to see more of in roast battles,
17:50is people laughing at the jokes being made about them,
17:53and truly enjoying the humor of what's going on on stage.
17:56Here you go, Sabrina, your thoughts?
17:58Put your hands together if you feel like they have actual chemistry.
18:03I feel like, I feel like you guys could do like a Canadian reboot of King of Queens.
18:08All right!
18:11Russell!
18:13I really enjoyed that.
18:14Allie, I think it was unfair that you picked on a guy with cerebral palsy, but...
18:18Okay, judges, it's time to pick a winner.
18:21K-Trev, who you got?
18:23In the end, I literally have, by one point, Jeff McEnery as the winner on this one.
18:28Okay, that is one for Jeff McEnery, there you go.
18:32Sabrina, who is your winner?
18:33That's interesting gendered scoring, because I have, by one point, Allie Pierce.
18:38That's one for Allie Pierce.
18:40We're tied.
18:42All right, Russell, it's down to you.
18:43Who is our winner?
18:45Allie, you came with some great stuff, and then Jeff is what we call in boxing a counterpuncher.
18:49So he was catching a lot of stuff and coming back at you, and I'm gonna lean towards Jeff on this one.
18:54Jeff McEnery is the winner.
18:56Jeff McEnery is your winner!
18:57Let him hear it, everybody!
18:59Make some noise for both of our fantastic roasters, Allie Pierce, Jeff McEnery.
19:05Fantastic work.
19:07We're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be back before you can say,
19:10Hello, police.
19:11Yes, I'd like to report the content of a television program.
19:14Final judgments after this!
19:28Welcome back to Roast Battle, the show more thoughtless than a teddy bear from the airport gift shop.
19:34So after all the shit-talking shenanigans we've seen tonight,
19:37it's time to go to the panel for their final judgments.
19:40K-Trev, let's start with you.
19:43I think we've learned that these battles are a lot more fun when the roasters are able to laugh at themselves.
19:47And I think just in general, life is more fun if you're able to laugh at yourself, because...
19:56If you can't roast yourself, how the hell are you gonna roast anybody else?
19:59Can I get an amen?
20:01Fantastic.
20:04Really nice.
20:06Sabrina, your final judgments.
20:08I think tonight we really found out what the recipe is for Roast Battle,
20:13which is we need more drag queens on Roast Battle!
20:18Right?
20:20Yes.
20:22More drag queens, less Ennis.
20:26More Penis, less Ennis.
20:28There we go.
20:30Alright, Russell, were those your last words or you got more?
20:31No, I got more.
20:32Alright, let's go.
20:33Give them to me.
20:34This was a legendary moment in Roast Battle history.
20:36We had our first nip slip on TV.
20:39Unfortunately, it was Jimbo, but I was still happy to see one nonetheless.
20:42I also learned that maybe I should get my tits done.
20:47Okay?
20:49Let's make some noise for our winners tonight.
20:52Jeff McHenry, of course Jimbo, and all our fantastic roasters up there.
20:58And otherwise, we're done.
21:03Good night, Canada.
21:04And remember, if you're watching, you are part of the problem.
21:08Oh, the problem.
21:13We got the world, it's a battle!
21:17Action!
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