- 6 hours ago
As founders grow successful businesses, self-care is a must! Hear from women leading the way in mental health and well-being as they talk about decision fatigue, burnout, setting important boundaries, and incorporating best practices so that you can build well.
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03:00And we're also going to have Koya Webb to the stage.
03:07Also, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford to the stage.
03:12So welcome to the Well CEO.
03:16And we are going to have a good day today.
03:18Welcome to the SoCo Market, ladies and gentlemen.
03:20Hi, everybody.
03:22Welcome.
03:24We are so excited that you are here.
03:29We're excited to be here to talk about the Well CEO.
03:33So I'm joined on stage with two of my dynamic sisters, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford and Koya Webb.
03:41And so we're going to talk a little bit about what it means to be a Well CEO.
03:45So this is an open dialogue, unmoderated.
03:49We're just going to let it flow, right?
03:51We know that we are mothers.
03:53We're daughters.
03:54We're sisters.
03:55We're partners, right?
03:56And on top of all of that, as if that's not enough, somebody told us to go and be bosses, to go and be leaders, right?
04:05To go and be CEOs or entrepreneurs.
04:08And so we know that we do all those things pretty well.
04:12But when it comes to our wellness, listen, that's a different conversation often, right?
04:17So we really want to have an open conversation dialogue about what it means to be a Well CEO.
04:22But let's start off with some introductions first, right?
04:26And so, ladies, let's tell the audience a little bit about who we are and what we do.
04:31I'll let you start.
04:32Yeah.
04:32So, hey, y'all.
04:33I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford.
04:35I am also a psychologist in Atlanta and the founder of Therapy for Black Girls.
04:40I am also the author of Sisterhood Heels, which came out on Tuesday.
04:44So I am so excited.
04:46And I am just really, really passionate about Black women being well and conversations for us to take our mental health more seriously.
04:54You know, I think we have lots of conversations around illness, but there's a whole lot we can be doing to be well as well.
05:00And so I'm excited to join my sisters today for that conversation.
05:04Yes.
05:04Thank you so much.
05:05I'm so excited to read your book.
05:07I can't wait.
05:08Hi, y'all.
05:08I'm Koya Webb.
05:09I am the author of Let Your Fears Make You Fierce and CEO of Get Loved Up, a community focused on our lives.
05:15Focus on self-care, oneness, and eco-friendly living.
05:18And I'm really passionate about having the conversation about what it takes to heal, what it takes to build our wellness community, and what it takes to thrive.
05:27So I'm so excited to join my sister today and just answer some questions that we all have about how do I do it all, right?
05:34What do I need to do?
05:35What do I need to have in place in my life to be able to thrive and be mentally, physically, and spiritually well?
05:41So I'm excited.
05:42Wonderful.
05:43And I didn't give an introduction, but I am also a Dr. Joy, clinical psychologist in Atlanta.
05:48And I work with a founder of Kofor of Atlanta, which is a wellness space for entrepreneurs, athletes, and entertainers.
05:56And so just creating a space where we can heal those who actually do a lot of the hard work, healing the healers, healing those who serve and show up for us in a big way out in the world.
06:05And so we are going to talk about what does it mean, ladies, to be a well CEO?
06:11Because we hear wellness being thrown around a whole lot.
06:14But as a CEO, as a boss, as a leader, what does it mean for us when we say, let's be a well CEO?
06:21What does it mean to be a well CEO?
06:25Okay.
06:26Well, to me, being a CEO, you are the chief energetic officer of your life, of your family, and of your business.
06:37So we are energetic beings, and we have to be really mindful of the energy we allow in so that we can make sure we output the right type of energy.
06:47If every day we have negative energy coming in, we're around people that lower our vibration and make us feel unwell, we're going to be tired and overwhelmed.
06:57Absolutely.
06:57We're going to be exhausted.
06:59But if we fill our life with those things that pour into us and fill us up and make us feel good, we're going to have a lot of energy.
07:07And I know all of us have experienced that, right?
07:09And so I really help people identify, like, what does your lifestyle look like?
07:14Are you filling your life with the music, the food, the people, the things that bring you joy?
07:21And if you are, you're going to be well.
07:23But if you're spending all your time working and serving and people-pleasing and doing all the things that take your energy without filling your cup, you're going to end up depleted.
07:34So to me, a well CEO is someone who's really prioritizing their peace, someone who's really prioritizing and creating healthy boundaries in their life and making sure you have that meditation, you have that yoga.
07:48And it's not just a long list of things to do.
07:51It's looking at your life and saying, what two or three things can I do to fill my cup at this time in my life?
07:57And it changes if you're a mom.
07:59It changes if you just got in a new relationship.
08:02It always changes.
08:03So daily and weekly assessing, what do I need to be well?
08:07Because when you're well, everyone else benefits.
08:10And to me, that's what a well CEO is.
08:12And I like what she said, like, doing your own self-inventory.
08:16When I think about being a well CEO, you know, what works for someone else may not work for you.
08:22And I love leading us back to what do you value, what's important to you, to make sure that a CEO is a part of who you are, it's not fully who you are.
08:32There are so many other things that we value.
08:34If you value sisterhood, it's like, how am I still being a boss, but I'm also pouring into this other cup that's important to me.
08:41I value family.
08:43I value working out.
08:44And so making sure that in all of our doing and all of our getting, that we're not leaving those things and those areas that matter to us by the wayside.
08:53Yeah, and I think I would add to that that a well CEO, I think especially for black women, is a CEO who knows how to ask for help and really relies and builds a team that can support them.
09:04Because I think so many of us are socialized and trained from very young people to, like, be the strong one.
09:10And, like, you've got to have it all together.
09:12You can't appear as if you need to ask questions or that you're weak in some ways, but you cannot do it all.
09:18Like, I have not ever been so busy in my life, and if I were trying to do it all on my own, it would just be a complete failure.
09:27And so I think really getting out of your own way and understanding that there are people in this world who really want to help you and want to see your business thrive just as much as you do,
09:36but you need to allow them in and ask them for help.
09:41That's great.
09:42So let's be honest.
09:44Let's have an honest conversation.
09:45We talked about what does it mean to be a well CEO and, you know, knowing what you value and all of these things.
09:51When we look back at our own journey, have you always been a well CEO?
09:57Or did you have, like, this aha moment where it was like, you know what?
10:01I need to get my whole life together quickly, right?
10:04So what has been your experience or your journey of wellness as a CEO?
10:10I definitely have not been always a well CEO.
10:13Okay, keep it real.
10:14And just to speak what Dr. Joy said, I remember as a visionary, I have all these ideas, and I had all these balls in there.
10:21I remember realizing, like, I need help.
10:24I need support.
10:25And I couldn't afford it.
10:27And a lot of you all thinking, I need help, but how do I afford it?
10:31But there's always a way.
10:32Where there's a will, there's a way.
10:33And so I remember I had this young lady, and she came to me after our spiritual center.
10:38We had our Sunday service.
10:39And she said, I need a mentor.
10:42And I'm like, I need an assistant.
10:44And that was it.
10:46We worked together for the next two and a half years.
10:49I was her mentor, and she assisted me.
10:51And we've both grown now so much.
10:53And we actually, last year, did our first brand deal together six years later.
11:00So it goes to show, don't ever let money or not having the resources stop you from asking for help
11:07and being well and assembling that team that you need to thrive.
11:12I'll tell you my story in terms of when I knew, like, I had to get my wellness together.
11:18So I value it.
11:19When I talked earlier about knowing, like, what do you value and what's important to you?
11:24So family is important to me.
11:25Spending time with my husband, with my sister, with my parents, it's important to me.
11:29So I was bossing in the world, and one day my husband came to me, and he said, hey, I want to take a trip.
11:35And I was like, okay, we can do that.
11:37He was like, I'm not sure if you're going to be able to go.
11:40Is this a boy's trip?
11:42You know, like, why wouldn't I be able to go on this trip?
11:45He was like, because you are so busy.
11:48I was like, oh, no, I can go.
11:49So he threw out a couple of dates, and literally, I couldn't go.
11:54I mean, I could go, but it was going to take a whole lot for me to go.
11:58And so his point was proven, where, like, I don't have time for the things that I say that I really do value.
12:07Y'all, he went on the trip without me.
12:10Now he left you.
12:11And sent me pictures.
12:14And so rubbed it in like I am gone.
12:17But, I mean, point made.
12:19And he wasn't trying to be, you know, shady.
12:21He was just saying it's important to him to balance, to travel, right?
12:25And I'd love if you could go with me, but if you can't, then I'm still going.
12:30And so that was the aha moment for me where it's like, okay, so you're doing these things in the world,
12:35but the thing that you say you value is basically taking off without you.
12:39That was my moment where I was like, you know, we got to get some balance.
12:42We got to get this thing together.
12:43So, yeah, it kind of hit me in the face.
12:47I don't know that I've had an aha moment.
12:49I think it has been just a continuous journey.
12:53You know, I, so a part of what we do at Therapy for Black Girls is a therapist directory
12:57that has therapists across the country.
12:59And I do not have a technical background.
13:01And so I've needed to find all of these people to try to build this directory for me.
13:06And the people that I found first were all the way in India,
13:10which meant that I was like staying up until 2 o'clock in the morning to like be on calls with them
13:15and would like wake up at 7 to try to get the kids ready for school
13:18and be completely disoriented.
13:20And I was like, this is, this is just not sustainable, you know,
13:23and I just was always cranky and like irritable.
13:26And so I realized, you know, like we got to work harder to find like somebody on your time zone,
13:30you know, to really make sure that you can pull this together
13:33and continue like, like you said, like to prioritize all the things that are important to you.
13:38So if we say, you know, our health is our wealth, like, you know,
13:45your mental health and wellness is like your biggest asset.
13:49Like, why are so many of us, and I want to talk about it in terms of business in just a second,
13:54but why are so, why do you think so many of us are bankrupt when it comes to our own self-care and wellness?
14:02Like what's getting in the way?
14:03Like we know, we know how important it is, right?
14:05We know the cost of it when we don't operate in wellness.
14:11What's the issue?
14:12I think it's prioritizing.
14:15I think we know it, but we have to practically put it in our schedule.
14:21The biggest thing that I help my clients and my community do
14:24is literally create your schedule weekly because it changes.
14:28And sometimes we have our schedule, but once we have a child or get in a relationship
14:32or if our business takes a hit, we lose it, right?
14:36And it gets away from us.
14:37So I think it's important to weekly prioritize looking at your schedule and ask yourself,
14:42am I getting six to eight hours of sleep?
14:45Am I making time for my spiritual time?
14:47Am I making time for my workout time?
14:49Because if you don't prioritize it, it won't happen on its own.
14:52You know, we don't have our parents or sometimes we don't have that loved one say,
14:55hey, you need to do this, you need to do that.
14:56And if we are, we're telling them, like, hush, right?
14:59So I think we really have to almost reparent ourselves
15:03and just realize how important it is to prioritize our health and well-being.
15:08And when we prioritize our sleep, even meals.
15:11I went so many years and I was just having protein shake and bars all through the day.
15:16And I was like, I haven't cooked myself a home-cooked meal in two weeks.
15:21And, y'all, I love food.
15:22And I love to eat.
15:23Anyone that knows, he knows I love it.
15:25But I felt like I was too busy.
15:27I felt like my team is important, my community is important, and all these things are important.
15:32But I'm the most important when it comes.
15:34If I'm the leader, if I'm not well, what happens?
15:37Then I have to take a day off because I've broken down my immune system and I'm sick in bed
15:41because I didn't prioritize having healthy meals, right?
15:45So you think in the short run, well, I'm loving people and I'm taking care of business.
15:49But in the long run, you're jeopardizing your health, your liver health, your kidney health.
15:54You're jeopardizing your sleep.
15:55You're breaking down your immune system.
15:57So in order to keep yourself up and high vibrational, you have to prioritize your well-being.
16:03And I would say on a weekly basis, like reassess, what do I need to thrive?
16:07You know, the other thing I would add is that I think we often over-identify with our work
16:13and use that as a replacement for our self-esteem.
16:16So instead of doing the work, oh, some of y'all felt convicted on that one.
16:20She's all on our streets, right?
16:22So, you know, I think when we don't look at the areas of our lives that need some attention
16:27and need some assistance, like, you know, issues with abandonment, insecurities,
16:32but then our business does really well, then we pour all of that energy into making the
16:37business do well and, like, continue to get sales and promotions and all of these things.
16:42But we are never actually taking care of that wound that actually needs our attention.
16:46And so I think it's important that we, you know, like you mentioned, like, work is a part
16:50of our lives, but it is not our entire lives.
16:53It cannot be your entire identity.
16:56I think for me, it became that when we define it, we can give it direction.
17:02And so I never, for me, I never, you talk about prioritizing and sitting down and creating
17:07space.
17:08I never sat down to say, like, okay, you know, what is important to you and what are the
17:13areas that are really sucking up a lot of your energy?
17:16Like, why?
17:17Like, what are you doing?
17:18What's happening?
17:19You're sending emails, you know, at 11 o'clock, 1130 at night.
17:23I never define where the loopholes were, right?
17:26Oh, when's the last time you hung out with your best friend?
17:29The one that you say, like, hey, that's my girl who always has your back, right?
17:32When you're stressed out, you call.
17:34When's the last time you hung out and it wasn't business related?
17:37And so definition gives us direction.
17:40And so when I was able to define the pain points, when I was able to, yeah, see, we got
17:44to define it.
17:45When I was able to define the pain points, when I was able to identify where I'm bleeding,
17:50like the wound that you were talking about, then I had a little bit of direction.
17:53Like, okay, so how are you going to tackle that?
17:55And it's really creating that space to say what is important to you.
17:58Like, girl, I have not had a home-cooked meal in two weeks.
18:01That's a problem.
18:02But once you define it, we can start doing something else about it.
18:04Maybe inviting a girlfriend over and saying, hey, I haven't seen you, nor have I cooked.
18:09So now let's kind of do this at the same time.
18:12So, yeah.
18:13That's so true.
18:13And y'all, friends and food, like, we all believe in sisterhood.
18:17And it wasn't until during the pandemic that I realized all of my relations, even my sisterhood,
18:24was really based in business.
18:26And I remember two women came to me.
18:28They're like, oh, we got this good idea.
18:29And I'm the one like, okay, let's make it happen.
18:31Let's make it happen.
18:32Let's do it.
18:32Come to me and I'll figure it out.
18:34But I remember they came to me and I broke down crying.
18:37And I said, I just need a hug.
18:40And those are my sisters to this day.
18:42We started having dinner every Tuesday.
18:44And I was like, I feel like I'm tapped out.
18:47I feel like I can do these things, but I don't want to.
18:49And when I do them, I feel sad and I feel drained.
18:53So I was going through depression.
18:54And so if any of y'all, some of the things you love to do, all of a sudden, you don't
18:58feel like you want to do them anymore or you end up crying multiple times a day, that's
19:03a side that you might need some more support and some more help.
19:06So I got a therapist and I started spending sisterhood time that had nothing to do with
19:11business.
19:11We just went out.
19:12We cooked for each other.
19:13Or we went out to eat.
19:15And sometimes we need to prioritize sisterhood.
19:18We need to prioritize family, even though we're that boss woman, even though we're getting
19:22things done.
19:23If we prioritize that sisterhood, it's going to help heal some of the motherhood and sisterhood
19:28wounds we didn't even know we had.
19:30So as I started having this dinner with my friends, I realized like, oh my goodness, we're
19:35all dealing with things we never even talk about.
19:38And as we start to heal those things, guess what improved?
19:40Our business, our relationship, our relationships with our team.
19:44So everything improves when you take the time to nurture yourself outside of business.
19:51Absolutely.
19:52Yeah.
19:53When did you like, you talked about some of these.
19:56They're rushing us off the stage, y'all.
20:04So I have two great questions.
20:06Listen, we got to wrap it up.
20:07Okay.
20:09You know, you see how you see, you see what my sister did.
20:11I was ignoring them.
20:12Dr. Tama is here.
20:13I saw them over there.
20:14I was ignoring them.
20:15Dr. Tama is going to come in.
20:17Dr. Tama, she can close us out.
20:19Dr. Tama Bryant is coming to the stage.
20:21This woman, just while she's hugging everyone, this woman wrote the book called The Homecoming.
20:30And as I was moving from L.A. to Atlanta, I got to listen to this queen talk to me about
20:39what it means to come home to yourself.
20:42And it changed my life.
20:44Thank you so much.
20:45We are at our closing, and I want to share a poem with you all.
20:50And I want to thank my healing sisters for doing the healing work.
20:54And so we are women rising high like the phoenix.
21:00We are women from the ashes we rise.
21:04From the ashes we rise.
21:06From the ashes we rise.
21:09Who will sing an upbeat black girl song?
21:12Because the downbeat says, the downbeat says she's so black and lazy and slack.
21:17And the downbeat says she's a video ho and academically slow.
21:21But who will sing an upbeat black girl song?
21:24We will sing it for ourselves.
21:26We will sing it for ourselves.
21:28We will put our souls in our throats, in our hearts, in our lungs, and sing of our survival.
21:34And the world will marvel at how long we hold our notes.
21:39Hold your note like Harriet held it.
21:41Hold it like Sojourner held it.
21:44Hold it like Madam C.J. Walker held it.
21:47And if you don't know none of them, if you don't know none of them,
21:50hold it like your great-great-grandma held it.
21:52And the world will marvel at how long we hold our notes.
21:58God bless you.
21:59My one last question is, as a CEO, as a black woman CEO,
22:19what word of advice would you give for other black women CEOs, bosses, and leaders regarding wellness?
22:27I would say you are worthy.
22:30You are worthy of abundance.
22:33You are worthy of healing.
22:35You are worthy of right relationship.
22:37You are worthy of stable finances.
22:40You are worthy of eating well.
22:42Put some greens on that plate.
22:44You are worthy of therapy.
22:46Go and get you some sessions.
22:47You are worthy of real friendships and relationships.
22:51And so in order to have that, you need to release to receive.
22:56What and who will you commit to releasing this summer, perhaps today,
23:01so that you can receive the fullness of life that you are intended to have.
23:07Remember to straighten your own crown and to live, work, sleep, love in your worthiness.
23:16Everything else is a lie.
23:18Everything else is a lie.
23:20You better pray.
23:21Woo!
23:25I would say you are enough.
23:27You know, a lot of times we feel like we have to be a human doing, but we are human beings.
23:34So realize just as you are today, you are enough.
23:37As you're breathing in carbon dioxide and breathing out oxygen, we are in perfect harmony with nature.
23:45And nature teaches us this.
23:46We're willing to look at nature and watch nature just thriving.
23:50We realize we're just here to be, and everything we do is icing on the cake.
23:57So remember, you are a human being, not a human doing, and you are enough.
24:07And I think I would say to avoid the shiny object syndrome.
24:11So there are a lot of people doing lots of things, and you can get distracted from what your purpose and your calling is,
24:16but it's really important to stay focused on the lane that you're running in to get success.
24:23And I would end it by saying you are worthy of rest.
24:28And making sure that we know that rest is a result of the work and not a reward for the work.
24:33You are worthy of rest.
24:36Great.
24:36That's it.
24:38Thank you, lady.
24:39Thank you, guys.
24:40All right, folks.
24:41Thank you, sisters.
24:42Let's give it up.
24:43Let's give it up for this amazing panel of black, beautiful excellence today.
24:49Dr. Joy, I don't know about you, but there is something about joy.
24:53Remember, it comes every morning.
24:55And we got a double dose today of joy.
24:59So one more time for this beautiful panel of amazing women.
25:04I don't know about you, but my cup floweth.
25:06It's overrunning right now, right?
25:08So that means we are all equipped to forge ahead for a beautiful day of empowerment here at Essence today.
25:17Sorry.
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