- 3 hours ago
The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In Season 3 Episode 5
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00:00MUSIC CONTINUES
00:29Now, this is Johnny B, a very funny man, an excellent musician, a ground-breaking podcast, a fabulous presenter, the body of a Greek god, but most of all, he's my best friend.
00:48And that smacks.
00:51Tonight, we have Ireland's most famous chaser since Shergar.
00:55That's right.
00:56He's from the chase.
00:57It's Dara the Menaceous!
00:59CHEERING
01:00And there's a lot of news about the next show and all-toothed Jackaday on bar.
01:08Oh, full of bus.
01:09No, no, I drove.
01:12On the How'd You Geal podcast, it's Dara Neat Lock-On, Louise Cantillen and Siva Niroir.
01:17CHEERING
01:18And performance stand-up tonight, let me give you a clue, right?
01:24OK.
01:25Knock, knock, knock, knock.
01:26Who's there?
01:27Chris.
01:28Chris who?
01:28Chris Kent!
01:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:30And we have music from Fermanagh's finest fiddler, it's Sean McGay!
01:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:42Now, are you ready to meet our first guest?
01:46Yeah!
01:47Well, to find out who our first guest is, let's cross live to Seamus the Sheep.
01:54He's shined away there, lads.
01:58Who's he going to go for?
01:59Is it Christian Bale at Chippendale or How to Gweil?
02:02Who's he going to go for?
02:03He's took a shine to the Chippendale.
02:05But it is, of course, Dara Neat Lock-On, Louise Cantillen, Siva Niroir.
02:09But it is Christian Bale at Chippendale.
02:37Yes, you can give the other two a chance with you.
02:39Push back a bit there, will you?
02:41I'm going to lift it.
02:43I'm sorry, once I was on the White of Guinness, I was...
02:45You were strapped on White of Guinness.
02:47She's like a cat to the cream.
02:49Welcome, how are you?
02:51You have lipstick on your cheek.
02:57It's mine, it's mine.
02:59Girls, for anyone who hasn't listened to the pod,
03:01can you tell us about it? Yes.
03:03So if you haven't listened to How to Goyle, first of all, how dare you?
03:05First of all, we are the biggest bilingual podcast in Erin.
03:09Later. In the world. In the world, let's say it, in the world.
03:11No, that's probably too... Well, Irish.
03:13Irish are the biggest bilingual podcast in the world, right?
03:15So we are, it's Kordishan, we are friends,
03:17and we kind of speak to each other,
03:19and that's how you get in the podcast.
03:21Very nice. Very nice.
03:23So, like, the podcast is absolutely flying, how did it come about?
03:25Yeah, do you know what?
03:27We're like any group of millennial friends,
03:29we were out one night on the chair, as we do really well, to be fair.
03:31I'm the cushy in the middle of the doves here,
03:33and to be fair, I can report that they do have as much of a good time
03:37on a night out in Loughlia, as we do down the country.
03:39So we're all out in the margaritas.
03:41Give us now! Where is the cheers for the...
03:43Give us now!
03:45We don't like to think we're better at crap.
03:47Anyway, we were having a few spicy margaritas,
03:49and we thought, what does the world need?
03:51Another podcast. Yes.
03:53You know? It's exactly a worse there.
03:55Yeah, yeah. When we were having a chat, we were like,
03:57what is this conversation missing? A microphone, you know?
03:59Yeah, I know.
04:00But there's definitely, I feel, a resurgence.
04:01Is there a bit of a movement at the moment?
04:03Well, do you know, Jonny, they tell me the sexiest thing
04:05you can be now as a gaugher.
04:07Yay!
04:09And our show has risen no end because of it.
04:11But, do you know, I think it's important to say, like,
04:13we'd be speaking Irish to each other anyway,
04:15regardless of the podcast or no podcast,
04:17and sometimes it can be a little bit fetishised.
04:19We were down with our voices there last year,
04:21and someone couldn't believe that we were having a point
04:23with each other as gaugher.
04:25And not only that, that somebody was sending a voice note as gaugher.
04:27Shocking stuff. Shocking.
04:29So, anyway, if you want a voice note from us now,
04:31like, subscribe, and all the rest of it.
04:33And we sell them on Patreon.
04:35Yeah, yeah.
04:37There's definitely something, when I was growing up,
04:39I was brought up in Dublin,
04:41but Irish would have been spoken at home,
04:43and some of my earliest memories
04:45is the intense shame that went with that.
04:47Especially in Dublin in the 90s.
04:49Really? Oh, my God.
04:51You were a fucking weirdo.
04:53And that took me a really long time to shake that.
04:55Especially, like, because my family are from the Gaeltacht,
04:57and it's a certain type of Irish that's spoken
04:59as opposed to Dublin Irish, maybe.
05:01Yeah, like, most of my childhood was being,
05:03carrying a lot of shame about that.
05:05Your others. Yeah, totally.
05:07And, yeah, and that's a hangover from colonialism, you know?
05:09We don't have to get into that one.
05:11There should be one point to you.
05:15Your audience, like, for the pod is huge.
05:17You show all those shows from here, all across the world.
05:19It's mad, isn't it?
05:21The Americans are mad for a bit of Gaeltacht.
05:23They are, it's very great to them.
05:25So, who's at the gig in America?
05:27Like, are they people who can speak Irish, or who are Irish-American?
05:29Actually, our biggest fan is from New York.
05:31I'm sorry to God, and has no Gaeltacht.
05:33His name is Jason.
05:35He does have Gaeltachtacht.
05:37He's from New York, from the Upper East Side.
05:39He's a nurse. If you don't mind, Tanrico.
05:41Yeah, on Instagram.
05:43He came to our gig in New York, wait to hear this right,
05:45and he brought us all a little gift, okay?
05:47So, he, now, super fan, wasn't he?
05:49He brought the girls, so he brought Sheeva a lovely photo of her
05:51from, like, a VIP magazine photo.
05:53For me to sign, right?
05:55Sheeva, like, stood gorgeous for her to sign.
05:57Brought Diren a novel,
05:59the Peg Sayers book.
06:01Am I not streaming Peg Sayers?
06:03I was, like, queuing up, waiting for it.
06:05And I was like, oh my God, what's it gonna be?
06:07A fucking picture of Declan Hannan.
06:09Your husband, your husband.
06:11Yeah, no fair, but, like, I was like, seriously, Jason?
06:13You know, but we still love you, Jason.
06:15And he is on fan of small talk, I'm going to go on.
06:17I know. I'm going to go on.
06:19I'm going to go on.
06:21So, the tour, does it all go smooth?
06:23Do you all get along on the road?
06:25Oh, it's sex, joke, jigs and rails.
06:27That's how they had to go on the road.
06:29I was rock and roll.
06:31What's that leadish in a race?
06:32What is it, Mary Walloper's new song, you know,
06:34Roz and the Bow, this is Irish rock and roll.
06:36Which, as you can imagine, I took a nice ride as a filmmaker.
06:38Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:39Now, do you know what, it was smooth for the most part,
06:40but we had a bit of a luggage issue.
06:41Yeah.
06:42We did have a luggage issue.
06:43There was a mala that went astray.
06:45And someone ended up in someone else's knickers for the week.
06:47Whoa, whoa.
06:49Whoa, this is a super fan.
06:51Yeah.
06:52He wishes, Johnny, he wishes.
06:53Jason was only with us for one night.
06:55Yeah.
06:56But he made the most of it.
06:58There's no knickers if I'm joking.
07:00Okay, okay.
07:01No, no, no.
07:02No, no, no.
07:03People, no, no, look, okay.
07:04My luggage went missing.
07:05There was a lot of shows going on.
07:07Myself and Lisa were the same size for a patron.
07:09She's a great old pal.
07:10And yes, we did share the knickers for the week.
07:12She has to be slated as well, my choice of knickers, by the way.
07:15Because apparently seamless and high-rise isn't in anyway.
07:18No, no.
07:19No.
07:20Too many details, Chris.
07:21Too many details.
07:22One to skip a few of this story, right, is that I'd lend you a few knickers, right,
07:27as a good friend would do when your case goes missing.
07:29No.
07:30They don't sell them in New York.
07:31That was very expensive.
07:32That was very expensive.
07:33That was very expensive.
07:34We were busy in the pub.
07:37We were busy in the pub.
07:38Johnny wouldn't get to the shops.
07:39Anyway, we're leaving Boston to get a train to New York.
07:42And I'm like looking at her and we've had a late night before.
07:44And she's like clibbity clobbing down to the train with all these bags of new clothes she's bought.
07:49And I was like, what is on her hair?
07:51Like her hair was up in a bun, okay.
07:53She had a pair of my knickers tied up, holding her hair up in a bun.
07:58And I was like, we can't rock into New York.
08:00Like for our big New York show.
08:01And you've got like, you're wearing my knickers as the hair goes.
08:04The big apple with the big knickers.
08:05You're doing it.
08:06You're doing it.
08:07You're doing it.
08:08You're doing it.
08:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:10Can I ask just out of interest, the show of hands here in the pub.
08:12Who here could say that they're fluent in Irish?
08:15Okay, but I have another question.
08:17Lava seuss if you have a bit of a grove for the guelga.
08:19Yes!
08:20Okay, and can I just say that the majority of that sentence was in guelga.
08:25So you mightn't think you're Leafa, but you have way more than you think, guys.
08:27Alright.
08:28So let's get your act together and tune into the girls' podcast to learn a bit more.
08:31Please!
08:32Okay.
08:33Now, as well as speaking the language.
08:37Dyrne, you are a fantastic traditional Irish musician and singer.
08:41There you go.
08:42Would you sing a song for us?
08:43Oh, would you?
08:44Would you like to hear Dyrne sing a song?
08:46Okay, cue us then, cue us.
08:48Right.
08:49What are you going to sing for us?
08:50I'll sing you a song.
08:51What'll I sing you?
08:52I'll sing you a song about a lovely woman from Dublin.
08:54Life imitates art, you know?
08:56Okay, but you'll have to give me a hand with this maybe.
09:00You might know the chorus.
09:01Right.
09:02As I roved out in Dublin city at the hour of twelve at night.
09:07Who should I meet with a pretty fair maiden?
09:10Washing her clothes by the broad moonlight.
09:12Madam, I'm a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin'.
09:18So first she washed and then she squeezed them and and she hung them out to dry.
09:22Then she folded, oh, poor arab saying what a fine young girl am I.
09:27Madam, I'm a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin'.
09:32Have you ever heard of cups and saucers rattling around in an elton can?
09:37Have you ever heard of a pretty fair maiden?
09:39Runny to a great owl ugly man.
09:42But I'm a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin' a darlin'.
09:46oh blue it is a lovely colour till it gets the second dip that's the way with the
09:53old lads courting you'll never know when he'll take a fit
09:56madam I'm a darling a diro diderot oh madam I'm a darling a diro day oh madam I have
10:03gold and silver madam I have tracks of land madam I have ships in the ocean all
10:09I'm missing is a fine young man madam I'm a darling a diro diderot oh madam I'm a
10:15darling a diro day oh going to the well for water washing it around for to make
10:20some tea he fell over I fell under all of the game was above didn't they madam I'm a
10:26darling a diro diderot oh madam I'm a darling a diro day oh madam you can tie my garter
10:33tie it up above my knee if you want you can tie it further madam I'm a darling a
10:38diro diderot oh madam I'm a darling a diro diderot oh madam I'm a darling a diro
10:44diro diderot oh madam I'm a darling a diro diderot oh madam I'm a darling a diro day
10:49oh да да да it's come round
11:06you have to get your Hide Watte AL Wirthof going to play with us yeah there we go the rain has come can
11:17the man in the white jumper here. Hello sir with the great side locks. You are live on
11:26television with the two Johnnies. Don't say anything but nod your head if you're up for
11:30playing a game. Yes. I feel like he could be like Sligo or. No that's a dub. I think.
11:42Turn around. Turn around. I like the eyebrow. He's very handsome. This man has amazing
11:52side locks. Yeah. He does give a bit of Sligo vibes except for the little. The shmigging.
11:57The landing strip on his chin there. What about the slits in the eyebrow. That's giving me
12:03dub. That's dub. Alright Chris Kent what do you reckon. I think he's a dub. Appropriate
12:09dub or clutchy kind of. Audience what do you reckon dub or clutchy. You sir what's your
12:16name and where are you from. I'm James I'm from Dublin. Yay. Okay let's spin that camera
12:24around. We've got time for one more. Let's do one more. Thank you James. Send me bae. Okay.
12:30Who else. Who else have we got. Oh the leopard prince. Cat Slayer. Let's go. Come here.
12:37You're live on the telly with the two Johnnies. Don't say anything. Just nod your head if
12:42you want to play. Yes. Okay lads what are we thinking that could be mink. That's a dub. That's a dub.
12:49That's a dub. That's a dub. That's a dub. That's a dub. That's a dub. That's a dub.
12:56It could be a leopard. It's a flick. It's a flick as well. It's her eyeliner flick. It's very
13:00accurate. That's a dub. Darla you're a biologist. She goes for faces. Well there's a lot of
13:06things I want to say but I can't go for it. Alright. No I think that that is a
13:12culture with class. A really rare beast. Okay lads let's find out what's your name and where
13:22are you from. My name is Justine and I'm from Dublin. Put your hands together for everybody
13:27out on the streets of Dublin. Thank you so much. We'll see you after the break. Don't go
13:33anywhere.
13:36Every time we touch, I get this feeling. And every time we kiss, I swear I can fly. Can't you feel
13:42my heart beat a price? I want this to last. Need you by my side.
13:48One day's over thinking, would I find a better plan?
13:54Would I find my best tonight? It's just the way I am.
14:00Come back, come back.
14:06Oh oh oh oh oh, just the way I am.
14:09Alright, welcome back.
14:12Now, it's time for some cracking stand up lads. If there was an All-Ireland for comedy,
14:18this man would win it for Cork. Put your hands together, go crazy, it's Chris
14:23Thank you very much. It's great to be here.
14:47I have two kids, which is about 12,000 photographs on my phone, by the way.
14:52That's what two kids is these days, and according to my wife, I do not take enough photographs
14:57of the children. I have 12,000 of them. I have hard evidence. She said, you still don't
15:01take enough. I'm like, let me introduce you to my mother. There's about seven photographs
15:08of babies around the house, and she doesn't even know who's who, all right? I'll straight
15:15up ask her, be like, who's this? Is this me or my brother? I don't know. That's a child
15:20in a St. Christopher. That could be anybody. That might not be you or your brother. I'm
15:25like, all right, yeah, this could be the child that came in the frame, for all we know. It's
15:30great. A different time, though. It's different times, isn't it? We're so different now. When
15:35I was a kid, my mum and dad used to come home from the pub and wake me and my brother up
15:40to eat chips, you know? It wasn't a choice. You had to go eat the chips. They'd come in
15:46from the pub, come on down and have chips! Me and the brother would be there at the table
15:51going, I'd be looking at him going, she's up for school in four hours, you know? My mother
15:57would lean in and go, I'm up for work in two hours. Shut up about it. Sing a song. What
16:02is going on? Then my dad would go off singing a song into a batter sausage, you know? Me and my
16:08brother at the same table a couple of hours later wondering how we can't get
16:11through a bowl of cornflakes, you know? You learn a lot when you become a dad, the
16:15breastfeeding and all that. I remember the very first time ever experiencing it. I was
16:19there with my wife, she was trying to feed the baby, it wasn't really working. I didn't
16:22realise, I thought it just would work all the time, you know? And God bless the nurses,
16:26a nurse came into the room and grabbed my wife's breast and my son's head with the
16:31elegance of a builder, you know? Like picking an extension lead out of a puddle. I'll get it to work,
16:37don't worry. And now I kind of thrive on the awkwardness, you know? I love it. My wife's
16:45dad was coming to visit when we had the baby and I could see by the walk on the
16:49man when he walked into the living room that he was going to go for a kiss with
16:53the baby. And I also knew his daughter was feeding the baby. So I could have stopped him.
17:02But I was bored out of my mind, you know? I said, ah, this would be good. And fair play
17:11to him, he must have known when he got to there, but he kept going all the way down. It was so awkward.
17:16And then he tried to make a joke about it, which is something I wouldn't recommend, to be quite honest
17:20with you. Because the joke he went for that evening, right, was, leave some for me, you greedy little shit.
17:26LAUGHTER
17:28What do you got, lads? Yeah. Well, you haven't seen him since, you know? He doesn't...
17:33I did The Impossible last year as well. I bought a house in the housing crisis.
17:39Thank you very much. Four years of dealing with estate agents. I swear to God, if I never see one again.
17:47They are... And we weren't being fussy, by the way. We weren't being picky. We were looking for a house for four years.
17:52I'll give you an example of the type of houses we were looking at. I went to see a house one day,
17:55and the estate agent's opening line was, be careful. That's the level of houses I was going to look at.
18:02She couldn't say hello. She had to give me a warning straight away. Be careful, she said.
18:06There's a big, huge hole upstairs, and your children might fall down it. I said, thanks very much for warning me there.
18:11I went upstairs. She wasn't lying. Biggest hole I've ever seen in the bathroom. And I was so desperate at that point.
18:17I was actually sucking up to her. I was looking down at her in the kitchen, and I was kind of saying,
18:20I actually like the hole, you know? I was like, that's actually handy, you know, in the bathroom.
18:24Brush my teeth in the morning, I can hop straight down the hole. No need to go all the way out of the stairs there, you know?
18:30And I said to this estate agent, is there anything else I should know about this house, by the way?
18:34And she said to me, there's a subsidence issue. No, I didn't know what that meant, so I said, sorry,
18:38I don't know what you mean. And I swear to God, she said, it's sinking. Is that all right?
18:44I was like, it depends how fast, I suppose, you know? Am I coming back to see a bungalow next week?
18:52Like, what are you talking about? Do you want to hear the saddest part of that story, lads?
18:56We were outbid on that house, right? Honestly God, and your kids pick it all up. My little
19:03boy was only five at that stage, you know? You're looking at houses every single night.
19:06We were leaving one of the viewings, and he was only five, and he said to us,
19:10Mam and Dad, you can have all of my money too. And I was just like, where is it? Where is it?
19:16I shook his little sister in the buggy. I was like, what are you bringing to the table?
19:22My wife is like, she doesn't even talk yet. I'm like, check her pockets, I don't care,
19:25you know? They're just mad. They're like, the estate agents, they would drive you crazy,
19:30though. They would drive you absolutely crazy. I went to see another place, they said, you're
19:32the first person to see this house now. You're the first, then, I'm giving you the first look
19:35at it. We walked in the door, the same estate agent was getting off the phone. And he says,
19:38I'm really sorry to tell you now, lads, there's been an offer. That was quick. He says, 40 over
19:47asking. And you're getting desperate at that stage. They're just pulling numbers out. 40 over
19:50asking. I said, look, we'll make an offer as well straight away. We'll go 50 over asking. And he
19:54said, are you sure? And I said, oh, 100%. I took 50 euros out of my wallet straight away, you know?
20:0040 grand over asking. That's mental, isn't it? And I said, I thought we're the first people to see
20:05the house. And he said, yeah, I wouldn't lie to you. That guy on the phone to me,
20:08he hasn't seen the house. He hasn't seen. I wouldn't buy a banana I haven't seen, you know?
20:14That's why I don't get my shopping delivered. He hasn't seen the house. And then he tried to
20:18paint him as the bad guy. He was like, I wouldn't mind nobody's buying all the houses around here.
20:22I'm like, stop selling them to him. That doesn't happen with anything else, does it? Does it happen
20:27with anything else in life? I don't know if you've ever gone into a restaurant or something and you're like,
20:32could I get the lasagna there, please? And the waitress is like, I'm so sorry.
20:38Your man over there is after buying all the lasagnas.
20:44I'll have a chicken curry instead. There's been an offer, you know?
20:48Thank you very much for having me. My name is Chris Kent. I'll see you again. Thank you very much.
20:52Give it up one more time for Chris Kent.
21:06And don't forget, you can check out Chris Kent's offline tour at chriskentcomedy.com, lads. Okay,
21:12John. Now, are you ready for the greatest quiz of all time? It's...
21:16The Parish Quiz!
21:20That's right, lads. So every week we have two people on and we test their local knowledge.
21:25They represent their parish in Parish Quiz. And our first parish is Munter Connacht in
21:29County Cabin and representing them is Amy O'Dowd. Amy, how are you?
21:33Not so bad and yourselves, lads. Welcome to the madhouse.
21:35Cheers, thanks very much. How are you feeling? Are you feeling confident?
21:38Confident enough. I tried to do a bit of research-ish.
21:41Not too much. I went to the local last weekend and I was like trying to kind of picture everything
21:48around it, but yeah, that's about the research I've done. Do you go to the local now for the old gossip?
21:52For the gossip, for the gossip, that's where I'd go. What's the latest around Munter Connacht?
21:56The latest around Munter Connacht is that we are in a semi-final for the championship.
22:00Oh. Oh, so kind of exciting. Not senior, junior. But we're still there, we're still there.
22:05I was hoping for gossip like, oh, Mary's riding the gardener again. Well, can't we say that on TV now?
22:10OK, OK. We'll get the real gossip afterwards. In a while, in a while.
22:13So what do you do for a living yourself, Amy? I sell tools, believe it or not.
22:17You're in good company. Any tools you want.
22:20Give it up for Amy in Munter Connacht.
22:25Our second parish from the county of Galway and Clifton, it's Damien Manning. How are you, Damien?
22:30Not a bad idea to yourself. Craig, what's the crack in Clifton?
22:33Ah, not much now. Summer's over, but sure, lookit, it's always the dirty winter coming, so it'll be a good crack.
22:39All right, OK.
22:44There's tools for that.
22:46There you go, mate. So, what are you up to yourself?
22:50I'm in college in the minute in Galway City, but the weekends I'll be working in the pub in Clifton.
22:55So, bit of crack. It's handy enough because you get the American tourists coming in and sure,
23:00you tell them, oh, my grandfather built the castle, whatever the fuck, and they tip you like mad.
23:09And sure, with the tips then, with freshers being this week, all summer, it was handy to keep the cash in
23:15the pocket. And with the goal of spending it on freshers, not spending my wages, but sure, lookit.
23:19Saturday evening we'll come round and it'll be fresh again on Monday morning. So, that was the main part of it.
23:26OK, so where do you work in Clifton?
23:28Lowry's Bar. You might know about yourself.
23:30I was in a G?
23:31You were indeed. I was actually working in EJ King's at the time.
23:34Right, I was thinking, I didn't meet you, did I?
23:36No, but we had the late night locking in the first season on the TV in EJ's and you were only around the corner in Lowry's.
23:41I text your man behind the bar, Damien Ryan, I said, send him our way, ASAP.
23:46Now, do you remember being in Lowry's?
23:48I do, yeah, of course.
23:49We have a photo of you, just there.
23:52I know it.
23:53Do you want to see it?
23:54No.
23:55It's OK.
23:58Trust me God, I don't know to come back.
24:00Give it up for Damien and Clifton.
24:05OK, it's time to play the parish quiz.
24:07We are kicking off with Munter Connacht.
24:09Here is your question.
24:11How are you, lads?
24:14This is Noel McEnroe here from Munter Connacht Heritage and the Brefty High Nelly Club.
24:20I've got a question for you and my good friend here, Liam O'Reilly, is going to ask it.
24:25What is my nickname?
24:29Now, what is Liam O'Reilly's nickname?
24:32Well, I would have, I literally saw it there and I was like, Leamy.
24:35Leamy is his name.
24:36You walk in, you were like, well, Leamy is his name.
24:38OK.
24:39Leamy is his name, it's not Liam, it's Leamy.
24:41Leamy is his name.
24:42Let's find out if it's his nickname as well.
24:45The answer is...
24:48Muscles!
24:48CHEERING
24:49But it's Leamy.
24:52Have you ever heard him being called Muscles?
24:54Never.
24:55Do you know him?
24:56I do know Leamy, yes.
24:58LAUGHTER
24:59Damien, are you ready for your question about Clifton?
25:01I am indeed.
25:02Right, here we go.
25:03LAUGHTER
25:10Hello, Damien, Father Ronan here.
25:12I'm in St Joseph's Church in Clifton.
25:14Do you know what colour is the wall at the back of the main altar?
25:19What colour is the wall behind the altar in your local church?
25:31You look puzzled, Damien.
25:32Can you give me a second?
25:35Go to Mass.
25:36Always, always.
25:38We're going to have to push you.
25:40I want to say it's gold.
25:45Gold?
25:46Or is that the main thing in the middle of it?
25:48LAUGHTER
25:51Final answer?
25:52I go gold.
25:53OK, well, let's cross back to Father Ronan and find out.
25:56And the answer is...
26:00Green.
26:02Yellow.
26:05I'm here to my ear.
26:07We're giving him that one.
26:08We're giving him that one.
26:09We're giving him that one.
26:10Yeah!
26:10Yeah!
26:10Yeah!
26:11Yeah!
26:11Yeah!
26:12Yeah!
26:12Yeah!
26:12Yeah!
26:13Yeah!
26:14Yeah!
26:14Yeah!
26:14Yeah!
26:15Yeah!
26:16Yeah!
26:16Yeah!
26:16Yeah!
26:17Yeah!
26:18Yeah!
26:18Yeah!
26:18Yeah!
26:19Yeah!
26:20Yeah!
26:20Right, Munter Connacht, we're back to you.
26:22Let's have your next question.
26:29Well, Amy, Connor here.
26:31I'm with the two Fergals.
26:32You're with the two Johnnies.
26:33Munter Connacht last won the Junior Championship in 1976 against Banyan.
26:37Our question for you today is...
26:40Whose cows are those?
26:44Whose cows are they out the back of the GE airfield?
26:47Right.
26:48It is Owen Brodie's cows.
26:50Owen Brodie's cows.
26:51Yes.
26:52Right, well, let's find out if you're right.
26:54And the answer is...
26:56The Brodie's.
26:56Yay!
26:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:01Lovely.
27:02Right, Damien, you ready?
27:04I am.
27:04Let's go to Clifton for your next question.
27:09I know that place.
27:12Hello, Damien.
27:14My name is Damien here, manager Larry's Bar, and I have a question for you.
27:20What world record did I attempt in 2023?
27:24OK, what world record did he attempt?
27:26The most pubs...
27:28I think it was the most pubs visited, and I had to drink a pint in each pub in 24 hours.
27:34Right.
27:35How did he do?
27:35I bet.
27:37OK, well, let's go back to your boss, where you work to find out if you're right.
27:43Now, guys, the answer to that question was...
27:45The Guinness World Book of Records was the most pubs visited in 24 hours.
27:49And I managed to do 85.
27:51Hey!
27:52Oh, did he, did he?
27:53Thank you, did he?
27:56Right, here we go, here's your next question.
28:02I'm Eugene O'Dwyer, and I'm the owner of the funeral home.
28:07The shop.
28:09The pub.
28:10The AstroTurf.
28:12And the auctioneers.
28:13People often ask me what my occupation is, and I do tell them,
28:17buy you out, sell you out, and what?
28:21Right, so there you go, that's just Eugene, the John Dutton of Unmuntering Honours.
28:27He seems to own everything, local tycoon.
28:28He owns a lot, so he's an auctioneer, but he also is a funeral director,
28:32so he will lay you out.
28:34He'll lay you out.
28:34He'll buy you out, sell you out.
28:35And lay you out.
28:38Let's find out if you're right.
28:41The answer is, lay you out.
28:46All right, Damien, you ready?
28:50I am indeed.
28:51Here we go.
28:51Let's back to Clifton for the next question.
28:56Hello, Damien's son.
28:57I'm here, your father, in my salon head.
29:01You may recognise this character behind me.
29:04He's very famous in Clifton, in the whole parish, everybody knows him.
29:08He's famous for his dancing.
29:10So my question for you today, Damien, is whose feet are these?
29:18A lot to unpack there.
29:19Yeah, a good bit, a good bit.
29:21That's your father?
29:21That is my father, yes.
29:23And is there somebody always dancing around the place?
29:26I wouldn't say in the salon itself, but in Clifton there would be.
29:30Right.
29:30It would be, and he'd be between Ravi's, EJ's and Lowry's.
29:34Three pubs he mainly goes through, and his name is John Dunn.
29:37Okay, well, let's go back to your father and find out if you're right.
29:41Don't do me wrong.
29:43And the answer is John Dunn.
29:46Yes, he is.
29:49Which means, with all your questions right, Clifton are tonight's winners.
29:58Congratulations, Damien, congratulations.
30:00Ah, here, it's good, it's good to see good sport, lads.
30:03Now, the prizes, right, in one of these envelopes,
30:06is an all-expenses-paid trip to Vegas.
30:12And in the other envelope is a free haircut from your dad.
30:18So, which envelope is it going to be, Damien?
30:21Think about it.
30:22Oh, lads.
30:23Pick carefully.
30:24Take the haircut.
30:26Somebody said, take the haircut.
30:28I don't even go to him to get my haircut.
30:29Right.
30:32I'll take this one.
30:33Right.
30:34Okay, Damien, open it up, let us know what have you won.
30:40A free haircut!
30:41Class!
30:47They trip to Vegas, survives another week.
30:49There you go.
30:50Lads, give it up for your winner of the Paris quiz.
30:56Now, still to come with music from this man behind us here, Sean McGee.
31:00Loads more crack as well.
31:01Don't go anywhere!
31:12The singles labels!
31:13I can't hear you all!
31:14MUSIC CONTINUES
31:44CHEERING
31:46It's time to find out, who's in the bar?
31:49We're in the bar!
31:51Who's in the bar?
31:52We're in the bar!
31:54Right, has anyone got a hidden talent they want to show us?
31:57I've got talent!
31:59OK!
32:01Well there's one lad down the back who seems very confident, can we try it?
32:04I want to see what he's made of.
32:06Who put their hand up here?
32:08Me!
32:09OK, what's the crackled, what's your name, where are you from?
32:11My name's Lorcan and I'm from Athlone.
32:13Anyone here from Westmeath?
32:15Who?
32:16Yep, Westmeath.
32:17Yep, I'm Roscommon side now.
32:19Oh, I don't know.
32:21Sorry if I've offended you.
32:22No, no, not at all.
32:23OK, well what is your hidden talent?
32:25Well, I can put my ears inside my ears.
32:32Alright, well how did you discover you could do this?
32:35I think when I was younger I just got sick of listening to people.
32:38Right, has this ever come in useful?
32:41Yeah, it's actually got me a job interview in Centre Parcs.
32:44What was the job?
32:47A Christmas elf.
32:49OK, I'm going to have to see it, do you want to see it?
32:53Yeah!
32:54OK, Lorcan, in your own time.
32:55OK, I'll have to get ready.
32:56I'll have to.
32:57So, first off, I'll put one ear in first.
33:01Oh my god!
33:02And then another one.
33:04But this is where the real trick happens.
33:07Oh!
33:12That's amazing!
33:16Can anyone ask me now?
33:22It's kind of one of a kind.
33:26Does it have to be your fingers?
33:27Can you do it if I click my fingers?
33:28Yeah.
33:29Give it a go.
33:30OK.
33:31Right, ready?
33:37We'd better move on.
33:38I love the space.
33:39All right, back to you, Johnny Schmacks.
33:41Here we go.
33:42Thank you very much, Johnny.
33:43Be right.
33:44Who else has got hidden talent, lads?
33:45Who else has got...
33:46Get him up in the air.
33:47Get him up.
33:48OK, right.
33:49Come on, Stuart.
33:50Let's go.
33:51We're heading over here.
33:52Come on.
33:53Clear the way, lads.
33:54You get a slap of a camera.
33:55How are you?
33:56What's your name?
33:57Where are you from?
33:58I'm from Longford and my name is Catherine.
33:59Catherine from Longford.
34:00OK.
34:01And what is your hidden talent, Catherine?
34:02I can play the fiddle while doing the splits.
34:03Play the fiddle while doing the splits.
34:04Yeah.
34:05Have you brought the fiddle?
34:06Eh...
34:07Look, we'll grab a fiddle here.
34:09Sean McGee has a fiddle.
34:10There's the fiddle.
34:11Handy, handy.
34:12And strain the bow.
34:13Here we go, all right.
34:14OK.
34:15Are we ready, lads?
34:16Are we ready to see Catra's talent?
34:19OK, the shoes are coming off, right?
34:20I'll mic up this.
34:21Here we go.
34:22OK.
34:23Give it up for Catra.
34:24And the most impressive thing is that was done in jeans.
34:44Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:45I mean, you should get some sort of brandy after this from the jeans, I'd say.
34:49Can you play the fiddle without doing the splits?
34:50Oh, no.
34:51No.
34:52And can you do the splits without the fiddle?
34:54No, God, no.
34:55What?
34:56Give it up for Catra!
35:01You know what?
35:02This show will never cease to amaze me.
35:04Every week I'm amazed.
35:05Lads, are you ready to meet our next guest?
35:07Yeah!
35:08Well, let's cross live to Seamus the Sheep.
35:12Who's it going to be?
35:14It is between Les Dennis, a head of Lettuce, and Dara Ennis.
35:19Who is it going to be, lads?
35:21He seems to be taking a big liking to Lettuce, but it is Dara Ennis!
35:25Hey, hey, hey!
35:26Hey, hey.
35:27How are you doing?
35:28How are you doing?
35:29How are you doing, lads?
35:30Well, great.
35:31Thanks for coming in, man.
35:32What a great place to have a chat show.
35:34Great, isn't it?
35:35Yeah, the studio stuff is all last year, man.
35:36This is way better.
35:37Hey, how are you?
35:43Oh! What's the crap?
35:45Damn much, how are you doing, lads?
35:47We're great, thanks for coming in, man.
35:49What a great place to have a chat show.
35:51It's great, isn't it?
35:52Yeah, this studio stuff is all last year, man.
35:54This is way better.
35:55That was so, like, 2019, yeah?
35:57Um, Derek, first of all, I want to ask The Chase.
35:59Like, a massive show. Yeah.
36:01How did you get your break on The Chase?
36:03I needed a door for my house.
36:05Seems very strange, but it's true.
36:07Doors are really expensive.
36:09I didn't realise, and needed a back door.
36:11Moved into the new house.
36:13The previous owner, for their own reasons, had taken the back door out.
36:15And I had no money.
36:16Wait, so there was no door at all?
36:17There was a curtain.
36:18Right.
36:19It was a bit cold in the kitchen.
36:21And, yeah, doors cost a couple of grand.
36:23They're expensive.
36:24So I went on a quiz show to try and win some money.
36:26So you went on The Chase as a contestant?
36:28Yeah.
36:29And you obviously...
36:30It went well.
36:33You won, you win a lot of money?
36:34No.
36:35It was a bit controversial because the other people took a lower offer.
36:38So I ended up winning.
36:39Enough for a door.
36:40Right.
36:41So, you know, mission accomplished.
36:42Okay.
36:43But not much else.
36:44Okay.
36:45So how do you prepare to be a chaser?
36:46How do you study?
36:47You do a lot of quizzes.
36:49Yeah.
36:50Learn a lot of lists.
36:51And figure out what you're bad at and pick it up.
36:53Study like in school.
36:54I don't.
36:55I don't have very deep knowledge on any subject.
36:56I know a tiny amount about a huge number of things.
36:59Okay.
37:00So I don't go into depth in dancing because it doesn't come up in quizzes.
37:02You know, it's only...
37:03If it's the soaps, it's the major actors, major families, that kind of stuff.
37:06You don't need to go into all of it in depth.
37:08How do you retain the information then?
37:09I'm really, really good at that.
37:11Do you know the way people are good at, you know, dancing, singing, playing football?
37:14Rubbish at all of them.
37:15Right.
37:16When I was playing football, my dad watched me play once and he said if they were shooting
37:20footballers, he'd live forever.
37:21He was a properly good football player, right?
37:26Terrible at everything.
37:27Terrible at everything.
37:28But I can remember stuff.
37:29And now I do it for a living.
37:30It's great.
37:31It works a treat.
37:32And you're known as The Menace on the show.
37:33Yeah.
37:34Did you pick the nickname?
37:35No.
37:36I had no idea what it was.
37:37None whatsoever.
37:38So when do you find out that you are The Menace?
37:40When Brad said it out loud on the show.
37:42I was standing, so we have little steps at the back to go up to the thing.
37:44I was standing on there.
37:45And he said, oh, it's our new chaser.
37:46And as I was walking down, he said, The Ennis, The Menace.
37:49That was literally the first time I heard.
37:51So you're not getting ready.
37:53Like, you know they all have nicknames.
37:55Did you never think?
37:56Well, they asked me did I want to be professor, but I was working in university at the time.
37:59I thought that would be a bit cheeky.
38:00And I said, not that.
38:01And they said, do you mind what we call you?
38:02I said, I don't care.
38:03And then your whole persona, the outfit they have you in, the bolo tie, all that.
38:07Did you choose all this?
38:08We have a photo of you here in your cowboy kind of bolo.
38:11Look at that.
38:12No, I'm intimidated.
38:15God, that's attractive, isn't it?
38:17No, I didn't pick any of it.
38:19I said I'd wear a chicken suit if they gave me the job.
38:21I have to ask the guests are a whiz as well.
38:23Chris Kent is whiz and the girls from the How to Gale podcast.
38:25Chris, if you were a chaser, what nickname are you going for?
38:27I'd say The Bluff.
38:29Yeah, because that would be a tactic.
38:33Chris the Bluff Kent, you lured him in.
38:35100%.
38:36Sheeva, what do you reckon?
38:37Sheeville, New York.
38:38Sheeville!
38:39That's pretty good, dear.
38:42I'm a traditional musician, so it would have to be the realer dealer.
38:46Oh!
38:47Wow, we could get you all jobs.
38:48Louise?
38:49I'm really bad at quizzes, so I'd be Louise two degrees and I would just spend the entire time trying to figure out how I know the people.
38:55So, with all the other chasers who were on the show, are you friends?
39:01Would you go for a pint after a show with them?
39:03Not after a show.
39:04People think we live in a big house together or something.
39:06And then we all go on holidays together.
39:07We get along, we genuinely do.
39:09And we're all mates, but we're workmates.
39:11We just get along.
39:12I imagine you'd be going out after being like, what's the capital of Peru, you know?
39:15No, you don't understand.
39:16When we're doing Beat the Chasers, we go to Paul Sinner's dressing room and his husband, Ollie, who's a properly good quizzer as well, asks us all, we sit around asking each other quiz questions.
39:24We genuinely don't.
39:26We are that nerdy.
39:27But class is a bit of a stretch.
39:29Class when you get them right.
39:31I mean, it'd be different if me and Johnny wrote the dressing room at the back someone asking us quiz questions.
39:35It's not as entertaining.
39:36So, like, are you competitive?
39:38So, who's the worst, say, if they, like, be a sore loser, if they get one wrong?
39:41The Beast, by miles.
39:42Really?
39:43It's not even close.
39:44Like, people think it's an act, and it is a little bit.
39:46He pantomimes villains it.
39:47He hates losing.
39:48He gets really angry.
39:50There's a big...
39:51There's this guy.
39:52Very unassuming.
39:53It's a gentle character.
39:54He's really like that in real life.
39:55Yeah.
39:56He does bang it up.
39:57But on our console at the top, the Perspex has a crack in it from when he smashed it one
40:00time.
40:01And it's proper thick Perspex.
40:02He must have hit it.
40:03Is he actually big, like, in real life?
40:04He's six foot seven.
40:05Jeez.
40:06He's lost about 12 stones since that picture was taken, and he's still huge.
40:10Wow.
40:11He is a big, big man.
40:12Yeah.
40:13Make sure if we ever go on, John, we won't be a thing.
40:16All right.
40:17You must get recognised all the time.
40:18All the time.
40:19Yeah, it's big.
40:20Like, the show is massive around the world.
40:21In Australia and New Zealand, and I'm going there next year, apparently it's huge as
40:24well.
40:25But walking down the street, I was in the zoo in Ireland, and it was nearly a queue of
40:28people.
40:29There were more people watching me than the monkeys.
40:31What do people say to you?
40:32Are you the guy off the chase?
40:34Yes.
40:35See, I told you, I told you.
40:39Mostly.
40:40Do people, do they show that happen at you, or?
40:43A little bit.
40:44Ask you questions.
40:45They will.
40:46They go, oh, can I ask you a quiz question?
40:48And then they can't think of one off the top of their head.
40:50And it's always, oh, what's the capital of Germany, or something.
40:53Really easy.
40:54And it's like, yeah, all right.
40:55But yeah.
40:56What is the capital of Germany?
40:57G.
40:58What?
40:59G.
41:00So, when you're up there, and people are playing against you.
41:04Beat up.
41:05If people are playing against you, say, and what if they, like you, when you first
41:10went on it.
41:11Oh my god, I just got G, German.
41:13Hey, thanks Darren.
41:18We won't be on the show any time soon.
41:22Easy win for me if you are.
41:24So like that, what if you're playing against someone, and they come on, oh, I really need
41:28the money, like, I have no shoes, whatever.
41:30And then you're saying, well, I'm not losing.
41:32Yeah, of course I'm not.
41:33So do you ever feel bad about winning?
41:35The charity ones, yeah.
41:36But the regular punters, they should just play better.
41:39Seriously, it's stacked.
41:41If you do well, there's no chance of the chaser winning.
41:43What were you doing before you were a chaser?
41:45Oh, my real job.
41:46When I worked for a living, I worked as a scientist.
41:48I was working in Oxford University and doing research.
41:51Very fancy.
41:52Yeah, it was good.
41:53And what kind of science stuff were you doing?
41:54I was doing neuroscience.
41:55So I was trying to figure out how brains work.
41:57So we used, weirdly, fly brains.
41:59You know the little fruit flies in your house, the really annoying ones?
42:02We used to dissect the brains out of them.
42:04And I'll tell you, the first thing in the morning if you've been out the night before,
42:07that is a tricky job.
42:09We used to dissect the brains out of them and try and figure out how they worked to give us an idea of how human brains work.
42:13And we hear you're mad into beekeeping, is it?
42:15Yeah, yeah.
42:16I have bees.
42:17I've been doing it for years now.
42:18I'm not any good at it, but I like it.
42:19It's a good crack.
42:20Do you ever get stung?
42:21Oh, yeah.
42:22All the time.
42:23Actually, my favourite time I got stung was before.
42:26OK, favourite time.
42:29Before I was keeping bees, years ago, I used to live in Canada and I was playing GAA,
42:32which I never played in Ireland because I was rubbish.
42:34But over there, the standard's low and there's rolling subs.
42:36It's a much better system.
42:37And I was running along in a match in Toronto and a bee went up my nose and stung me.
42:42Oh!
42:43I know.
42:44Do you know how much sympathy I got from my team?
42:46I drop to the ground and go, oh!
42:48I'm just rolling on the ground, holding my face.
42:50Oh!
42:51Going, oh, quick, sub, sub!
42:52And they're all laughing.
42:53And I was like...
42:54But otherwise, yeah, you get stung.
42:56That's what happens when you're a beekeeper.
42:57So you're going on tour with your new show?
42:59Yeah, I'm doing a live quiz tour.
43:01I'm doing it in England first and then I'm coming to Ireland in the spring.
43:03Brilliant stuff.
43:04Out left, are you going?
43:05Yeah!
43:06There you go.
43:07Check out ultimatepubquiz.com, lads, for more info.
43:09Give it up for Dara Ennis, everyone!
43:14During the Chief Hour Dubs, we've got Louise and Chris.
43:16Are you going to play with us?
43:17Yeah!
43:18Yes!
43:19Okay, I'm ready.
43:20You, sir, with the headphones.
43:22Ah!
43:23Hey!
43:24Don't say anything.
43:25You're live on television for the two Johnnies.
43:26Just nod your head if you're up for playing a game.
43:31Okay, okay.
43:32Alright, Dara, just be looking at him.
43:33Is he a dub or is he a coachy?
43:34I think he's a dub.
43:35Yeah.
43:36But why?
43:37Because he is wearing air max and he's got a groomed beard and he looks like he's been to a hairdresser.
43:45He looks like he's been to a hairdresser rather than a barber.
43:46He's wearing his umbrella like a rifle.
43:47A coachy would just get wet.
43:48Chris, what do you reckon?
43:49I think he's a coachy.
43:50Why?
43:51Do you think?
43:52I do, yeah.
43:53He's been in Dublin a long time.
43:54And I believe he's a coachy.
43:55Yeah.
43:56Okay, what do you reckon?
43:57I think he's a dub.
43:58Look at that battered leather jacket.
43:59I know.
44:00The tote bag, is that a red tote bag as well?
44:01I'm going to say coachy.
44:02He's like a deer cotton head.
44:03What do you reckon?
44:04What do you reckon?
44:05What do you reckon?
44:06What do you reckon?
44:07I think he's a dub.
44:08Look at that battered leather jacket.
44:09Yeah.
44:10I know.
44:11The tote bag, is that a red tote bag as well?
44:12I'm going to say coachy.
44:13He's like a deer cotton headlight saver.
44:14What do you reckon?
44:15What do you reckon?
44:16What's your name and where are you from?
44:21What's your name and where are you from?
44:23And my name's Dean now from Dalyall.
44:25Oh yeah!
44:26Hey Dunnis.
44:27Hey Dunnis.
44:28Hey Dunnis.
44:29Okay, let's send that camera around.
44:31Let's find somebody else.
44:32Let's go in.
44:33Let's go in on someone.
44:34What about this lad with the mullet here and the orange sitting down?
44:37Oh, we've got the guy.
44:39You're on the telly.
44:42You're live with the two Johnnies.
44:43Nod your head if you want to play a game.
44:45I tell you what, he's great for the parties.
44:50What do we reckon?
44:51Oh, he's got the arms folded now.
44:53Need to zoom in.
44:54He's got that kind of, you know, that iron jumper on underneath you.
44:58He's quite stylish.
44:59He is quite stylish.
45:00Yeah.
45:01Yeah.
45:02Give me a look at the footwear situation.
45:03Oh!
45:04Oh yeah.
45:05Oh!
45:06Oh!
45:07He's a dark horse.
45:08This is not a dark horse.
45:09I'm going Kulshy just on the mullet.
45:13Just.
45:14Oh, Kulshy I think with the jumper.
45:16Yeah.
45:17Yeah.
45:18That looks like a man who didn't have ten for heat.
45:19Yeah!
45:20Yeah!
45:21Audience, what do we reckon?
45:22Kulshy!
45:23Okay, it's a strong Kulshy.
45:24What's your name and where are you from?
45:26My name's Mark.
45:27I'm actually half-breed.
45:29I'm not Kulshy half-dog.
45:30A bloody hybrid.
45:31Thank you Mark.
45:32Give it up for our guests, for Dara Innes, for the How to Gayle Girls and for Chris Kent.
45:40And now to play us now.
45:45Put your hands together for the one and only Sean McGee.
45:48Oh, there'll be a woman in our town.
45:51The woman you all know well.
45:53She dearly loved her husband and another man twice as well.
45:56It'd be right.
45:57Finneganary.
45:58Oh, we'd turn.
45:59Finnegal wall.
46:00It'd be right.
46:01Finneganary.
46:02Oh, we're tippin' it up to Nancy.
46:04She'd take her to the camera shops from Ribbonese the Pride.
46:08Have you anything in your cabin shop to make my home and blind?
46:11It'd be right.
46:12Finneganary.
46:13Oh, we'd turn.
46:14Finnegal wall.
46:15It'd be right.
46:16Finneganary.
46:17Oh.
46:18One, two, three, jump.
46:26She'd swap through the river.
46:28She'd swap through the bride.
46:29Oh, Martin, dear Martin, don't leave me behind.
46:33It'd be right.
46:34Finneganary.
46:35Oh, we'd turn.
46:36Finnegal wall.
46:37It'd be right.
46:38Finneganary.
46:39Oh, we're tippin' it up to Nancy.
46:40Oh, Martin, dear Johnny, don't leave me behind.
46:44You're a son of a that, you silly old fool.
46:46You know me for Martin's claim.
46:48It'd be right.
46:49Finneganary.
46:50Oh, we'd tip.
46:51Finnegal wall.
46:52It'd be right.
46:53Finneganary.
46:54Are you ready?
46:55One, two, three, jump.
46:56Hey!
46:57When we'd be right.
46:58We'd never be right.
46:59I'd never get me behind.
47:00Oh, we'd never be, no more.
47:02There's thine in my family, and none of them is me old.
47:05Oh.
47:06I wish that each and every man are come and claim his role.
47:09It'd be right.
47:10Finneganary.
47:11Oh.
47:12We'd tap.
47:13Fenniga wall.
47:14Whitney right.
47:15Finneganary.
47:16Oh.
47:17You
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