Is ‘Auntie’ A Disrespectful Title?

Essence Content

No woman wants to be disrespected—and Black women know when they are being dissed. At its best, “auntie” is reverential, but that doesn’t mean you can always use it for someone who isn’t family.  Nikole Hannah-Jones Jones, creator of the New York Times’ The 1619 Project, is the latest public figure to say she doesn’t want to be referred to in that way. On March 4, she tweeted, “Please don’t call me auntie unless I am actually your auntie.” The comment re-exposed a cultural divide over intent versus action and the role that language plays in the devaluation of Black women.

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00:00Totally a term of endearment, but, you know, if people don't want to be called certain things, we got to respect that as well.

00:05But hey, I think you have to take it on a case-by-case basis.

00:09The other day I talked about Auntie Taraji, which to me, she is an auntie.

00:13Like, I know her.

00:14What we call it, auntie means love, respect, and queen.

00:20You know, so that's how my culture took it.

00:22So I don't see anything wrong with it.

00:25I think it just means that you're loved.

00:28Hey, auntie.

00:30For some, auntie is a term of endearment, but for others, it's serious shade.

00:35But I was wondering why auntie makes people feel the way that it does, and I wrote about it.

00:40The most recent iteration of the conversation was inspired by Nicole Hannah-Jones, who shared a series of tweets about why auntie makes her feel the way that it does.

00:47And it had their Twitter streets on fire.

00:50So let's unpack why auntie gets the response that it does.

00:54So what is an auntie?

00:55Or better question, who is an auntie?

00:58Well, it depends on who you ask.

01:01Representative Maxine Waters, who went viral in 2017 with her no-f*****-given attitude.

01:06He left that out, so I'm reclaiming my time.

01:08Please, will you respond to the question?

01:11Which is a mandatory auntie quality.

01:13Has no problem being called auntie.

01:15You must call me auntie.

01:17I've been adopted for all of these millennials.

01:20Join in.

01:21However, according to Oprah and Gayle, don't even try to call them aunties.

01:26Winfrey expressed her disdain for the slang term to Oprah Daily saying,

01:30I cringe being called auntie or mama by anybody other than my nieces or godchildren, except if I'm in Africa, where it's the custom for everybody to refer to anyone older as sister or auntie, depending on the age difference.

01:43Ava DuVernay gave Twitter a list of terms she doesn't mind being called, and auntie wasn't one of them.

01:50So we went to the Twitter streets to see what other Black women think about this conversation.

01:54So Essie, fire off in the comments to let us know how you feel about being called auntie.

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