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00:00Welcome, on stage, Mr. Jimmy Carr!
00:05Hey!
00:07Well, thank you.
00:09Thank you very much.
00:11Hi.
00:12Woo!
00:13Woo!
00:15Manage your expectations.
00:18Now, have we got a show for you?
00:20That remains to be seen.
00:22I'll tell you what we do have.
00:23Go wild and crazy.
00:24I'll bring them all out of the same...
00:25We've got John Richardson, Rob Beckett, Judy Love, Katherine Parkinson, Susie Dent, Rachel Riley!
00:30Woo!
00:31Woo!
00:32Woo!
00:33Something.
00:34Good show.
00:35Let's calm down.
00:37Get in there.
00:40Right.
00:42Okay.
00:44Oh, yeah.
00:46Spoiler alert.
00:47John wins.
00:51Okay, everyone.
00:52We're ready to go.
00:53Let's do this.
01:28Hello, and welcome to Ed Edited.
01:30Editing Cats Does Countdown, a show about letters, numbers and conundrums.
01:34Okay, let's meet tonight's play.
01:35First up, we've got team captain John Richardson.
01:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:40And we'll be right back.
01:45I'm like Dog Daddy.
01:46That's what I'm talking about.
01:47LAUGHTER
01:48Well, one of those words...
01:50..is factually correct.
01:51Really?
01:52Yeah.
01:53And it's not big or dog.
01:54LAUGHTER
01:55I've got to hand it to John, because he's so small, he can't reach it by himself.
01:58LAUGHTER
01:59LAUGHTER
02:00People meet me and they genuinely think I'm about three foot two.
02:04LAUGHTER
02:05And John's teammate Judy Love.
02:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:12Judy once went to a concert to see her favourite band, Blue, and...
02:15She got so excited that she threw her bra on stage.
02:19Killing all four...
02:20LAUGHTER
02:21LAUGHTER
02:22LAUGHTER
02:23LAUGHTER
02:24APPLAUSE
02:25Who's your favourite member of Blue? I love Blue.
02:28I think it was Simon.
02:29Simon...
02:30The one was lovely.
02:31But the bra was...
02:32Yeah, it did.
02:33It was like...
02:34It was like a tent, like...
02:35LAUGHTER
02:35One love!
02:36It was just like, yes!
02:37LAUGHTER
02:38Up against them this evening, we've got team captain...
02:40Rob Beckett!
02:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:42APPLAUSE
02:45We do a lot of jokes about Rob's teeth, but to be serious for a...
02:50a second.
02:51If you are feeding him, remember flat palm and let him come to you.
02:54LAUGHTER
02:55LAUGHTER
02:56Oh, my...
02:57LAUGHTER
02:58LAUGHTER
02:59That's great teeth.
03:00Are they...
03:01Are they...
03:02Are they veneers?
03:03Or are they...
03:04They're your own teeth?
03:05Cos they're...
03:05Who would get that done?!
03:06They are...
03:07They are...
03:08They are...
03:09They are...
03:10They're not big, are they?
03:11No, they're not.
03:12And when I laugh, it looks like they're running out.
03:13LAUGHTER
03:14LAUGHTER
03:16Joining Rob tonight, it's Katherine Parkinson!
03:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
03:20Katherine is an actress in her 40s, so...
03:22APPLAUSE
03:23Katherine is an actress in her 40s, so...
03:25There's still lots of parts for her on television.
03:27Whether she wants to play a divorced mother of five...
03:30An ageing spinster, or a kindly grandmother.
03:33There's all kinds of opportunities.
03:35LAUGHTER
03:35I'm only just in my 40s, I'm nearly out of my 40s, but...
03:39So, thank you.
03:40LAUGHTER
03:41Uh, John.
03:42Hello.
03:43Now, you recently, um...
03:44You voiced Grouchy Smurf...
03:45in the Smurfs movie.
03:46How did you get that role?
03:47Why were you cast, do you think?
03:48LAUGHTER
03:49Well, I think...
03:50Fanny Smasher Smurf had already been cast.
03:52LAUGHTER
03:55APPLAUSE
03:56Yeah, it's, uh...
03:57APPLAUSE
03:58Yeah.
03:59It's in the deleted scenes, but it's...
04:00well worth checking out.
04:01LAUGHTER
04:02If you nip out to the toilet,
04:03there's a chance you missed my entire input to...
04:05the film.
04:06LAUGHTER
04:07Technically, I was in a film with Rihanna.
04:08And she doesn't know who the hell I am.
04:10LAUGHTER
04:11LAUGHTER
04:12You done a film, haven't you?
04:14You were like...
04:15like a bird that commentates on films?
04:16Yes.
04:17And you were in Cinderella, which we love.
04:19Yes, I was...
04:20Really?
04:21Doing what?
04:22Acting.
04:23LAUGHTER
04:24LAUGHTER
04:25What part in Cinderella?
04:27I was the pervert trying to get off of her.
04:29LAUGHTER
04:30It's good they'll let you keep the glasses, though.
04:32LAUGHTER
04:33LAUGHTER
04:34ARGH!
04:35Can I, um...
04:36Go on.
04:37..tell you that...
04:38I mean, part of the reason we watched that is...
04:40because, um, my husband originally had that part,
04:43but they, um, had...
04:45put him in his costume and he did a scene,
04:47and they thought he looked too...
04:48pervy.
04:49LAUGHTER
04:50So they've got someone who looks pervy.
04:52LAUGHTER
04:53I think, though, Camilla...
04:55I think about look very young, Asindra.
04:56She looked very young, and my husband is,
04:58is, yes, my age.
05:00And the convicted...
05:01pervert.
05:02LAUGHTER
05:03OK.
05:04Judy, what would be your perfect...
05:05..to stay off?
05:06Er, I think it'd be at home,
05:08not having to do any kind of...
05:10maths or work with numbers and words and shit like this.
05:14LAUGHTER
05:15I don't want to cook,
05:17I don't want to talk to no-one,
05:18I don't want to...
05:19No.
05:20I don't...
05:20I don't want to do anything.
05:21I'll be honest, you get bored of it.
05:22You ask me...
05:23Who said I'd get bored?
05:24I've got kids.
05:25When you say...
05:25You've got kids.
05:26How many kids you got?
05:27Two.
05:28Yeah, two.
05:29How old are they, Judy?
05:30One's 20.
05:30One's 20.
05:31Yeah, but...
05:32That don't count.
05:33You're not on the front line of a three-year-old.
05:34LAUGHTER
05:35Like, Ron.
05:36You got a mascot?
05:37Yes, I do.
05:38I have got a mascot, actually.
05:39So, one of my favourite...
05:40Last time's little hobby of mine is tripping up children.
05:43LAUGHTER
05:45When you've got kids, you're at a lot of parties, soft plays,
05:48and there's always a couple of idiot kids that...
05:50of being mean to your kids.
05:51So, a little...
05:52as they're sprinting past, being able to...
05:53a little...
05:54leg out.
05:55Just to catch them on the run and...
05:58Ever do it to your own?
06:00Do you have a child or...?
06:01No, no.
06:02No, I don't...
06:03I don't...
06:04I don't just do it to all...
06:05It's just, you know, I'm getting older, kids are...
06:05getting younger and quicker and stuff like that.
06:06So, what I've got is...
06:07I've had some special shoes made to help me.
06:10with the tripping up, because it can get difficult.
06:12So, I've got these.
06:13They're only a prototype.
06:14I think...
06:15they're going to take off.
06:16LAUGHTER
06:20APPLAUSE
06:23Come on.
06:24Can you see me...
06:25I'd like...
06:26I'd like to see these...
06:27Yeah, see, like, obviously...
06:28I've got them to look like normal shoes.
06:30so people don't notice.
06:31LAUGHTER
06:32Yeah, no...
06:33I'll come round and show you what...
06:34Oh!
06:35It's not weird that...
06:36What's that?
06:37It's not weird that...
06:38It's not weird that...
06:39What's that?
06:40What?
06:41What?
06:42Well, you can tell...
06:43You can tell...
06:44You can tell...
06:45You can tell...
06:46You can tell...
06:47It's not weird that you know.
06:48LAUGHTER
06:49LAUGHTER
06:50They're cool, they're really cool.
06:53They're right, aren't they?
06:54Yeah.
06:55It's like a classic pair of sort of laced-up trainers.
06:58Say you're at a party, you just...
07:00You're sat down having a chat.
07:02You're having a drink.
07:03Kid run past in a coffee shop.
07:05You're like, fuck off!
07:08And then you're just easy to go, twat!
07:10Can you run in those?
07:12What's that?
07:13I'm not chasing, kids.
07:15You look like someone who chases kids, if I'm honest.
07:20I don't know.
07:21I don't know.
07:22I don't know.
07:23I don't know.
07:25I don't know.
07:26I don't know.
07:27I don't know.
07:30I don't know.
07:31Oh, nice rhythm.
07:32Oh, my God!
07:33Very good!
07:35That was...
07:36That was close, though.
07:37He nearly went.
07:38Yeah, so, if you want a pair, let me...
07:40Now, I'm going to start a...
07:41Crowdfunder.
07:42Ha, ha, ha, ha!
07:45Hello!
07:48It's quite long.
07:50Rob Beckett, everyone.
07:51He's got massive cheese.
07:52APPLAUSE
07:55For sort of...
07:56Oh, my God!
07:57Oh, my God!
07:58Oh, my God!
07:59Oh, my God!
08:01Catherine, um...
08:02Catherine, have you got a mascot?
08:03Yeah, but it's nothing like that.
08:04I mean, you've...
08:05You've created yours.
08:06Have you made those yourself?
08:07Absolutely.
08:08That's...
08:09I mean...
08:10Absolutely, yeah.
08:10This is...
08:11This is shop bought, what I've got.
08:12And it's just to relieve tension in the drawer.
08:15But when I first got it, I did...
08:18I used it this way for quite a while.
08:20And...
08:20Until somebody told me it was actually this way.
08:22What...
08:23And...
08:24You do it, put it on.
08:25What?
08:26Oh!
08:27No!
08:28No!
08:29No!
08:30No!
08:31No!
08:32No!
08:33No!
08:34No!
08:35No!
08:36No!
08:37No!
08:38No!
08:39No!
08:40No!
08:41No!
08:42No!
08:43No!
08:44No!
08:45No!
08:46No!
08:47No!
08:48No!
08:49No!
08:50It pushes back.
08:51It unlocks the jaw.
08:52It does!
08:53It does!
08:53Because they're white as well, it looks like your teeth are sort of escaping
08:58I pull them back. Judy, have you got a mascot?
09:01I have
09:03Because when I come on the show I get a bit nervous
09:06I'm always worried about
09:08like what's going to be the end result
09:10But because of that I thought let me just relax myself
09:13I've got my crystal ball so I can get predictions
09:18Oh
09:19Yeah, I can see things like now I can see this gorgeous
09:23gorgeous woman
09:24very, very, oh god look at her
09:26just hot
09:27oh sorry
09:28that's me
09:29sorry
09:30but I can see lots of little things
09:32I can see
09:33I can see John at home by himself arguing with a thermostat
09:38Yeah
09:39I'm not paying these prices, I'll put a card on
09:42Yeah, yeah
09:43Susie
09:44I can see Susie in the afterlife
09:48having a conversation
09:49while actually pulling up God
09:50because he said Pacific instead of specific
09:53Have a break, have a break
09:55Have a break
09:56Do you know what I mean?
09:57So yeah
09:58I can see
09:59Susie's dead in that
10:00Yeah but she's not
10:01She buried the lead on that
10:02How did she die?
10:03She doesn't die by being tripped up does she?
10:06But what
10:08What I mainly can predict is that
10:10we're gonna win
10:11The
10:13Susie
10:13Silence
10:14That was kidding
10:17Well Susie let's enjoy
10:18Well well we got it
10:19Okay, John
10:20Have you got a mascot?
10:21Yes well it's a business venture really Jimmy
10:23Oh
10:24So I've gone into music tribute bands
10:26Lot of coin in tributes
10:28So I've found this guy who does Elvis
10:30First of all he was my first act
10:32But he
10:33He was a bit
10:34Well he was shit
10:35So people would ask who he was
10:36So we had to rename him
10:38Elvis
10:38Um
10:39So sometimes
10:40Sometimes if you want to update
10:42Sometimes if you want to update
10:43And act while you're doing the tribute
10:44So I've got a modern Johnny Cash
10:47Uh called Johnny
10:48And I sort of brought
10:52And I sort of brought
10:53All the songs up into the modern age
10:55He's got a song about Dodgy Market
10:56Called Ring of Fire Sticks
10:58Um
10:59I've got a one man Led Zeppelin
11:02Uh because I can't
11:03And I thought all of them
11:04So that's
11:05Les Zeppelin
11:06Um
11:08I've got loads of these
11:09I've got a one man Iron Maiden
11:10Brian Maiden
11:11LAUGHTER
11:12LAUGHTER
11:13He's very
11:14I've got as many of these as you want
11:15One man take that
11:16Jake that
11:17LAUGHTER
11:18And then I saw the Oasis gigs
11:19And I thought
11:20Well there's got to be coin in that
11:21I thought one thing that puts people
11:23Off going to the Oasis gigs
11:24I think there's a bit of a reputation
11:25For being quite laddy
11:26And quite unpleasant
11:27Oh
11:28Hiss throwing and all that
11:29So I thought how do you change that
11:30Well you just
11:31The music speaks for itself
11:32So you just make
11:33To make it less laddy
11:34And less toxic
11:35So I've got a tribute band
11:36Called OA Sisters
11:37LAUGHTER
11:38And I'm delighted to say
11:40Making their TV debut
11:41I've brought them along tonight
11:42So
11:43Ladies and gentlemen
11:44OA Sisters
11:45Oh
11:46APPLAUSE
11:48Thank you
11:49Thank you
11:53Thank you
11:58Sally can wait
12:00She knows it's too late
12:03We're walking on by
12:08A song slides away
12:13Don't look back in anger
12:15I've heard you say
12:18Thank you
12:19Thank you
12:20Thank you
12:23Thank you
12:26You are slightly opaque
12:29You're mostly
12:31You look cheap
12:33You look
12:35slightly opaque
12:36You look
12:38You look
12:40slightly opaque
12:43You were
12:52You better pay us what you owe.
12:55Yeah, I agree with her.
12:57Actually, and I've got big hands.
13:07Shall we come in the corner, please welcome Spencer Jones.
13:19All right.
13:20Spencer, good to have you back.
13:22What have you been up to recently?
13:23I've been, everyone's got a dodgy offy that they go to.
13:27But what I like to do when I go to the dodgy offy, give the boys the red stripe, empty the bag.
13:32Bag on your head like that.
13:33Put that round that ear like that.
13:34And then round that ear like that.
13:35And then...
13:36Uh-huh.
13:37Hey-ho-well, hey-ho-well, hey-ho-well.
13:41You might get signed by John.
13:44Yeah, I'll take it.
13:46You want some more?
13:47Yeah!
13:48I'm sure the best thing I came up with in lockdown...
13:51All right?
13:52I'll be honest, it's the only thing I came up with in lockdown.
13:56Happy Mother's Day!
13:58Happy Mother's Day!
14:01Happy Mother's Day!
14:06I've got banned!
14:07I've got banned from TikTok for that.
14:11Oh, my God!
14:12There's one other thing.
14:13There we go.
14:14Sometimes when you're...
14:16visiting a hospital, you know, it's a sad time.
14:18People are dying.
14:19Um, but they've got plenty of these.
14:21knocking around.
14:22Which you can nick.
14:23You know, no one will ever go at you.
14:24You can do sort of like,
14:25You lie!
14:26It's fine!
14:26Oh!
14:27Oh, my God!
14:28Oh, my God!
14:29Oh, my God!
14:30Oh, my God!
14:31Move!
14:32Move!
14:33It's too cheap.
14:34It's too cheap.
14:35Anyone got one?
14:36Come back tomorrow?
14:37Me too.
14:39LAUGHTER
14:40Wait...
14:41What you can do, when you blow up like that,
14:42you put one finger in like that,
14:43and then that one comes through there like that,
14:45and then that finger go in there like...
14:46like that,
14:47and then that one and that,
14:48and then...
14:49ROLL AWAY!
14:51And they'll be dying,
14:52but they'll be laughing.
14:54And they'll be dying,
14:55but they'll be laughing.
14:57And then what you can do,
14:58you squeeze it like that,
14:59and then twist it like that,
15:00and then...
15:01He's like that.
15:02LAUGHTER
15:03He's like...
15:04He's like...
15:05He's like...
15:06LAUGHTER
15:07APPLAUSE
15:08OK.
15:09APPLAUSE
15:11And with Spencer, of course,
15:12it's Susie Dent.
15:13APPLAUSE
15:14And with Spencer, of course,
15:15it's Susie Dent.
15:16APPLAUSE
15:16LOST VALENTINE'S...
15:18LOST VALENTINE'S...
15:20LOST VALENTINE'S...
15:21LOST VALENTINE'S DAY,
15:22Susie Dent co-wrote
15:23a romantic radio drama.
15:24I listened to it, Susie,
15:25and I'll be honest with you...
15:26I was bored stiff.
15:29Susie, what words make you laugh?
15:31Lots of words make me laugh
15:33in the historical dictionary.
15:35There's a word...
15:36for someone who wishes bad luck
15:38upon someone else,
15:39and they're described as ill-willy.
15:41If you are kind towards someone,
15:43you are good-willy.
15:44And if you really...
15:46wish death and destruction on someone,
15:47you are evil, Willy.
15:49LAUGHTER
15:50And these...
15:51in the 18th century,
15:52I can't imagine you've ever been described
15:53as being good-willy.
15:54LAUGHTER
15:56OK.
15:57And in charge of the numbers,
15:58it's Rachel Riley.
15:59APPLAUSE
16:01Rachel, have you ever been tempted...
16:03APPLAUSE
16:04Rachel, have you ever been tempted...
16:05APPLAUSE
16:06Rachel, have you ever been tempted...
16:06to get a tattoo?
16:07You know, I feel like everyone's got one except me,
16:09so...
16:10I would...
16:11quite like to get one.
16:12My brother's got absolutely loads,
16:13but you've got to get it right, haven't you?
16:14You've got to get something meaningful
16:15and something you don't...
16:16regret.
16:17So...
16:18I'm thinking of getting your face...
16:20like here.
16:21So, like, the mouth can be my belly button,
16:23because I...
16:24basically...
16:25I really want to know what it looks like.
16:26to see your face on real human skin.
16:28LAUGHTER
16:31APPLAUSE
16:32APPLAUSE
16:36OK.
16:37The prize the teams will be competing for tonight
16:38is this, the Countdown Fencing Kit.
16:42APPLAUSE
16:43APPLAUSE
16:46Oh, this should be good.
16:48Oh.
16:49This should be good.
16:50Oh.
16:51Maybe get...
16:52Maybe get...
16:53Maybe a little bit closer together, guys.
16:54Just edge...
16:55Maybe a little...
16:56Maybe a little bit.
16:57Just a touch closer.
16:58Just a tad...
16:59LAUGHTER
17:01LAUGHTER
17:02LAUGHTER
17:03APPLAUSE
17:04LAUGHTER
17:05APPLAUSE
17:06I thought they were beekeepers.
17:10I thought they were beekeepers.
17:11One in the blue. Let's see your face.
17:14I knew the second one was...
17:16He was a brother. I knew it.
17:18I don't know, it was just something in his walk. I said that to him.
17:20You said, you said. I could tell.
17:21From his walk, he was black and I didn't know what to say.
17:27I whispered it to John. I was hoping John would say it.
17:30But I didn't want...
17:31I didn't want it to get cancelled.
17:32But I just saw it in his walk.
17:34I don't know what that means.
17:36I don't know what that man is called, but, um...
17:38RUN!
17:41Okay, let's count down everyone. Time for the first game.
17:44Rob and Catherine, you get the first pick of the leg.
17:46Letters.
17:47A vowel, please.
17:48Yeah.
17:49Can I have an E?
17:50A consonant, please.
17:51N.
17:52Another vowel, please.
17:53A.
17:54A consonant.
17:55A consonant.
17:56A consonant.
17:57G.
17:58Another vowel, please.
17:59I.
18:00A consonant.
18:01S.
18:01A consonant.
18:02Another consonant, please.
18:03L.
18:04A vowel.
18:05U.
18:06A consonant.
18:07A consonant, please.
18:08A consonant.
18:09A consonant.
18:10And another vowel, please.
18:11Can we stop a second?
18:13When you said that, the crowd oohed, which I...
18:16You've made a bad decision, but I wasn't listening.
18:20Shall we switch?
18:21Do we...
18:21Do you think that's too many vowels?
18:22Can I...
18:23Consonant, please?
18:24Consonant.
18:25Very unusual that...
18:26Someone messes up the picking of the letters.
18:29OK, while you crack on with that, I've...
18:31I've got a side hustle.
18:32I'm a couples therapist.
18:36OK.
18:37OK.
18:38OK.
18:41OK.
18:42Next.
18:46Ooh!
18:47This is, uh, this is Barker Ba...
18:51Alma and Oprah Woofrey.
18:53Um...
18:54LAUGHTER
18:55And you're...
18:56What time starts now?
18:57Well, where should we begin?
18:59OK.
19:00Well, tell me about your...
19:01sex life.
19:02Ah!
19:03Ah!
19:04So you just do it doggy style, do you?
19:05Ah!
19:06Ah!
19:07Barker Ba...
19:08Barker Ba...
19:09You're saying she won't let you bury her bone anymore.
19:11Barker Ba...
19:12You can't...
19:13If you don't mind me saying, real dog breath.
19:14Barker Ba...
19:15Barker Ba...
19:16How did you two meet?
19:17Barker Ba...
19:18Barker Ba...
19:19Dogging.
19:20LAUGHTER
19:21Hey, I think you should leave her.
19:22She's a bitch.
19:23LAUGHTER
19:24Barker Ba...
19:26Well, I see you two have, uh, made up now.
19:29So that'll be £500, please.
19:31LAUGHTER
19:34OK, round of applause, everyone, for our...
19:36folks and their handlers.
19:37APPLAUSE
19:41Rob, how many?
19:42Six.
19:43Afrin, how many?
19:44Six.
19:45Afrin, how many?
19:46Six.
19:47Afrin, how many?
19:48Six.
19:48Six.
19:49OK.
19:50Uh, Judy?
19:51Six.
19:52John, how many?
19:53Seven.
19:54Seven, OK.
19:55Rob, what's your...
19:53Six.
19:54Aliens.
19:55Catherine, your six?
19:56Claws.
19:57OK.
19:58Oh, nice.
19:58Three or six.
19:59I had uncles.
20:00All right, John, for the win, you're seven.
20:02Er...
20:03glances.
20:04Oh!
20:05APPLAUSE
20:06Wow!
20:08What are you doing here?
20:09Seven points to Joan.
20:11Uh...
20:13Susie, could they have done any better?
20:14You could have had lunacies for eight.
20:16So, at the end of that, John and Judy...
20:18We are in the lead with seven points.
20:19APPLAUSE
20:20I can't find any evidence, Judy.
20:21I can't find any evidence, Judy.
20:22I can't find any evidence.
20:23APPLAUSE
20:23Let's get into our first numbers round.
20:24Judy, you get your pick of the numbers.
20:26Er...
20:27No, just do it.
20:28Ten.
20:29Ten?
20:30You can have up to four big ones.
20:32Yeah.
20:33And then the rest little ones.
20:34So, I'll pick...
20:37Ten.
20:38Ten.
20:39No.
20:40What numbers?
20:41Well, you don't get to pick the numbers, that's why it's...
20:43fun.
20:44So, you get to say two big or three big or four big.
20:47OK, so...
20:48Three big ones.
20:49Three big ones.
20:50Ooh.
20:51And...
20:52How many?
20:53Four.
20:54I don't think we were going to win this round.
20:53Four small ones.
20:54Shall we finish it off?
20:55Four small ones.
20:56Shall we go for three small ones?
20:57Three small.
20:58Yeah, three small...
20:58How many numbers can we pick all together?
20:59Six.
21:00Three.
21:01It's changed.
21:02Has that changed?
21:03They haven't even...
21:03They haven't even changed the fucking chair.
21:04Bang!
21:06Richard Whiteley died in that.
21:08They haven't changed the fucking head.
21:09It was different, Lyle.
21:13Last time.
21:14When I was picking numbers.
21:15It's exactly the same.
21:16You predicted the future tonight, you didn't see...
21:18this coming.
21:19LAUGHTER
21:20Three small ones.
21:21Seven.
21:22Nine.
21:23Nine.
21:24And ten.
21:25You got your ten.
21:26And the big ones.
21:27Fifty.
21:28Twenty-five.
21:28And one hundred.
21:29Oh, yes!
21:30I remember that.
21:31LAUGHTER
21:32Hundred and twelve.
21:33OK.
21:34Your target is 112.
21:35Your time starts now.
21:36Do you have to use...
21:37I'll be sorry.
21:38Right.
21:39I'll do it.
21:40Right.
21:41I'll do it.
21:42I'll do it.
21:43I'll do it.
21:44I'll do it.
21:45I'll do it.
21:46I'll do it.
21:47Oh, I know.
21:48I'll do it.
21:50I'll do it.
21:52I'll do it.
21:53That's it.
22:03Stayed by life.
22:08Woo!
22:08No one else.
22:13Woo!
22:13Woo!
22:14Hey, we feel it right.
22:15Woo!
22:16Woo!
22:17Woo!
22:17Woo!
22:18Rob, did you get it?
22:19Yeah!
22:21First time ever.
22:22Really quick.
22:23Taking them over in.
22:24Can I check?
22:25You don't have to use all the numbers, do you?
22:26Yes.
22:27OK.
22:28Woo!
22:29Woo!
22:30We don't have to use all the numbers.
22:32Judy.
22:33LAUGHTER
22:34Judy.
22:35Did you get it?
22:36Well, if I knew that...
22:37Well, if I knew that...
22:38You didn't have to use all the numbers.
22:39Of course I would have bloody got it.
22:41I would have got it.
22:42I got...
22:4399.
22:44LAUGHTER
22:45Do you want me to tell you how?
22:47LAUGHTER
22:48LAUGHTER
22:49Yeah!
22:50LAUGHTER
22:51LAUGHTER
22:52Yeah!
22:53Shut it out!
22:54Shut it out!
22:55So, I did...
22:56LAUGHTER
22:57How did you get less than a...
22:58100?
22:59LAUGHTER
23:00There's a fucking 100 there!
23:01LAUGHTER
23:02100...
23:03Take away 50 equals 50.
23:05LAUGHTER
23:06LAUGHTER
23:07LAUGHTER
23:08Take away 25 equals 25.
23:11LAUGHTER
23:12And then 25 takes...
23:13LAUGHTER
23:15LAUGHTER
23:16LAUGHTER
23:17LAUGHTER
23:18LAUGHTER
23:18I did 15 to 100.
23:20It was 150.
23:21Oh, my God!
23:22100!
23:23And then...
23:23I did seven and nine, which was 16.
23:25LAUGHTER
23:26And took away 16, so I'm 100...
23:27LAUGHTER
23:28I did seven and nine, which was 16.
23:29LAUGHTER
23:30And took away 16, so I'm 100.
23:31LAUGHTER
23:32LAUGHTER
23:33LAUGHTER
23:34LAUGHTER
23:35LAUGHTER
23:36Wow!
23:37Judy, do you want to be my accountant?
23:41Yes!
23:42LAUGHTER
23:43LAUGHTER
23:44LAUGHTER
23:45Wow!
23:46Catherine, did you get it?
23:48I hope so, having sort of whooped and sort of...
23:51been all pleased with myself, but I did get it, I think.
23:53Well, talk us through it.
23:54So, nine take away seven is two...
23:56That was the hard bit.
23:58Plus 10 is 12, plus 100 is 100...
24:01Yep.
24:02APPLAUSE
24:03Oh!
24:04Oh!
24:05That's difficult if that would happen.
24:06John, did...
24:07John, did you get it?
24:08I did 50 over 10, plus seven for the...
24:1112.
24:12Yeah, that'll do.
24:13APPLAUSE
24:1410 points for both teams!
24:15APPLAUSE
24:16And here is your teaser.
24:17The words are wang, sight.
24:19The clue is...
24:20Is it hot in here?
24:21LAUGHTER
24:21That's wang, sight.
24:22Is it hot in here?
24:23See you after the break.
24:24APPLAUSE
24:26Mike.
24:27Thank you very much.
24:30Thank you very much.
24:41The answer to the teaser, the words were, Wang Sike, the clue was, is it hot in here, is of course.
24:46Sweating.
24:47Okay, so John and Judy are in the lead.
24:49They've been playing in teams so far...
24:51but this game is just for Rob and Judy.
24:54So, Judy, your turn to choose.
24:56The letters.
24:57Thou.
24:58Yep.
24:59Nailed it.
25:00E.
25:01Consonant.
25:02John, while this is going on, we should probably...
25:05Vow.
25:06A.
25:07Vow.
25:08I put just Pilates.
25:09Oh, yeah, great.
25:11Vowel.
25:12Shall we?
25:13Yeah, we should.
25:14O.
25:15T.
25:16It's not that I'm not interested.
25:17I just think this is going to be shit.
25:20Vowel.
25:21It might just, if I go...
25:22And...
25:23E.
25:24Right.
25:25I've actually only hired one machine...
25:26We'll both have to go on it at the same time.
25:27So, if you go...
25:28There.
25:29Yeah?
25:30Yeah, you grab that.
25:31Yeah.
25:31What?
25:32Was it lentils again?
25:33Was it?
25:34Was it?
25:35LAUGHTER
25:36OK, your time starts...
25:38now.
25:41What?
25:42What?
25:43What?
25:44What?
25:45What?
25:46What?
25:47What?
25:48What?
25:49What?
25:50What?
25:51What?
25:52What?
25:53What?
25:54What?
25:55What?
25:56What?
25:57What?
25:58What?
25:59What?
26:00What?
26:01What?
26:02What?
26:03What?
26:04What?
26:05What?
26:06What?
26:07What?
26:08What?
26:09What?
26:10What?
26:11What?
26:12What?
26:13What?
26:14What?
26:15What?
26:16What?
26:17What?
26:18What?
26:19So, John, do you mind if I...
26:21Just take the tip out I've got tear if that's anything
26:26Judy love have you got your phone out I was just checking this
26:31Spelling
26:34So sorry
26:36Oh
26:41That reformed Pilates explains why they're so fucking angry
26:43It's amazing
26:44It's really
26:46Good I liked it yeah but it's nice to be intimate
26:48Judy how many
26:51Five six five six okay Rob how many did you get
26:56Okay we're behind I've got a solid six but I'm gonna have to I'm just gonna I'm going in for a seven
27:00Okay
27:01All right so Judy what is your six I've got stereo
27:04Two
27:06E's
27:06The stereo there's two easy right yeah there are two east sorry yeah
27:11Yeah
27:13And the tables have turned
27:16I'm sorry to have to do this but um you're fired yeah
27:21Anyway sorry stereo very good
27:24Thank you
27:26Um Rob your risky seven
27:29Yeah well
27:30I know first of all
27:31I know I'm fucked up
27:33Because it was risky anyway but
27:36It's even riskier now that I've included a third E
27:41What else for risky seven
27:43What else for risky seven
27:44Oh no
27:45TTs
27:46TTs
27:47TTs
27:48TTs
27:49TTs
27:50I've got a place it's about
27:51Back up for seven if that's allowed
27:53No it's just Rob
27:54No
27:55Okay
27:56TTs
27:57TTs
27:58TTs
27:59Not in
27:59But
27:59TTs
28:01TTs
28:01Treatise.
28:02It is a treat.
28:03Fucking no edit there.
28:04Sick prick!
28:06All right, 6.7.
28:11Thank you very much.
28:12Thank you very much.
28:13Thanks to Judy Love.
28:15Susie Spencer, could they have done...
28:16How many better?
28:17Toastier for 8.
28:18Tyrious for 8.
28:19And Treatise for 8.
28:20Right now...
28:21We've got time for John and Catherine to go head to head.
28:23Catherine, your turn to pick the numbers.
28:25You've got to pick a big...
28:26Big number.
28:27True.
28:32Have two big ones and four small ones please.
28:34You can.
28:35Because 2 plus 4 equals 6.
28:37Judy, write that down.
28:38It might come in handy later.
28:41Four little ones.
28:42We have 10, 6, 5, 4 and then your...
28:46I'll take it to 50 and 25.
28:47Can you do it?
28:48Help me please.
28:49And the target 223.
28:51I feel sick.
28:52OK, your time starts now.
28:56I feel sick.
28:58I feel that the target is good.
28:59I feel that you can say it ain't good.
29:00I feel...
29:01That as a fruit argue?
29:02Then you need to get ready to eat.
29:03Toastier for 11.
29:04Where is the fish?
29:05It's a little trick.
29:06Okay, your time goes...
29:07It's a little trick.
29:08I feel...
29:09It's a little trick.
29:10Let you eat.
29:11I feel very happy to eat.
29:12You can get a new boss.
29:13Yeah, my time goes...
29:15I feel good.
29:16I feel good.
29:17Let me keep eating...
29:18Yeah, I feel good.
29:19I feel good.
29:20Toastier for 11.
29:21Here it's a little trick.
29:24I feel good.
29:25I feel good.
29:01I'm going to put it in.
29:06You
29:11You
29:16You
29:21Okay, so your target was to
29:26223
29:28John, did you get it?
29:30224
29:31A little bit disappointed. Catherine, did you get it?
29:33Oh, 224
29:35But
29:36I was very pleased with that
29:38You also got 224
29:40Okay, how did you get it?
29:4125 times 10
29:4325 times 250
29:455 times 4
29:46You got it
29:4720
29:485 times 4
29:4920
29:50Take away 20 from
29:51250
29:52And then 230
29:53Minus 6
29:54Yep
29:55224
29:56108
29:57John
29:56How would you have done it?
29:57Had you not been an idiot?
29:58If I hadn't recently been penetrated in the workplace
30:0150 times 4 is 200
30:0450 times 4 is 200
30:06200
30:07200
30:08Add 25
30:09225
30:10And then 10 over 5 is 2
30:11Yeah
30:11Yep
30:12Well done
30:13APPLAUSE
30:14So, John, you did
30:16...
30:16We can get it in time
30:17So, 7 points for both teams
30:18APPLAUSE
30:21Time now to go across to the dictionary corner
30:23Spencer, what have you got for us?
30:25Well...
30:26When I was, uh, younger
30:28My Nan and Grandad had a
30:30...
30:31...
30:32A really, really aggressive parrot called Bobby
30:34And Bobby was...
30:35...
30:36...
30:36...
31:00...
31:02...
31:03...
31:04...
31:05Ha ha ha.
31:07Come on, come on, come on!
31:10Every day stuck in this cage.
31:15I just want to fly away.
31:20Every day looking at these walls.
31:25But no one hears my call.
31:30Who's a pretty boy? I'm a pretty boy.
31:32Who's a pretty boy? I'm a pretty boy.
31:35They ask me all the time.
31:37They're always asking me.
31:40Holding this together.
31:45That's a whole lot of fathom.
31:50Oi! Stop that, you dirty bum.
31:55No, no, that's not my milk.
32:00That's my milk.
32:01No, you can't park there.
32:03No, stop.
32:04That is not my milk.
32:05That is not my smell.
32:07I did not fart.
32:09Come back there.
32:10Come back there.
32:11Stop it, Derek.
32:12I thought it'd be dead by now.
32:14Anyway, just that bit.
32:15It's basic.
32:20James Jones, everyone.
32:22And here is your teaser.
32:23The words are...
32:25Our snob, the clue is thank you, my lady.
32:27That's our snob.
32:28Thank you, my lady.
32:29See you after the...
32:30Let's take a break.
32:35Let's take a break.
32:36Let's take a break.
32:37Let's take a break.
32:38Let's take a break.
32:40Let's take a break.
32:45Welcome back.
32:47The answer to the teaser, the words were our snob, the clue...
32:50who was thank you, my lady.
32:51It was, of course...
32:52Baroness.
32:53Well...
32:59Well done.
33:00If you could do it, then we can score some fucking points.
33:02It might be helpful.
33:04Now, the key...
33:05One-eyed viewer might have noticed that I've added an extra player.
33:08It's because Rob and Catherine...
33:10are lagging behind, so I thought I'll give you an extra team member.
33:13Please welcome everyone.
33:14Comedians...
33:15...of the comedian, John Totill.
33:18No good to have you, John.
33:20It looks like if you asked AI to draw a picture of Henry VIII before he let himself
33:25Go I think I look a bit like your long-lost son
33:30Oh my god!
33:33We do not look like a family
33:35Absolutely, hello darling
33:37I don't know, I feel like I'm being dragged into the gingers to be honest
33:42How old are you?
33:45I am almost Yorick
33:47I'm 28
33:48How old are you?
33:4928
33:50Almost his age!
33:52Wow
33:53How old are you?
33:5539
33:56So actually
33:57From where I'm from
33:58Old enough
34:02So John, welcome to the show
34:03Now you used to be a teacher, is that right?
34:05Yes, that's right, yeah
34:06I used to work in a primary school
34:07I'm slightly worried that I've been brought on here to support the losing team
34:10But I was not a good teacher
34:12I was a really bad
34:13I was, in the words of one of my own students, a dog shit teacher
34:16LAUGHTER
34:17I taught year four
34:20Do you think you're gonna help this team?
34:22No
34:22No
34:23Oh, sorry
34:24We need help
34:25I really can't
34:26I can't even count down
34:27Do you know what I mean?
34:28Counting up, you should see me counting up
34:29Fucking hell
34:30One, two, three
34:31I could go on
34:32LAUGHTER
34:33You only practiced once a year at New Year's Eve, didn't you?
34:36Yeah
34:37Well no, I used to...
34:37That was in wet play
34:38Wet play?
34:39Yeah, but the...
34:40Horrible phrase, isn't it?
34:41Wet play
34:42LAUGHTER
34:42If I'm honest, if you're a woman over a certain age
34:45Wet play is a good word
34:46LAUGHTER
34:47John, have you got mascara?
34:50I do, yes
34:51Yes
34:52This is my clarinet
34:53Ooh
34:54Now
34:55I don't make much sense as a person
34:57Unless...
34:57Unless you know
34:58That all I did
34:59For the first 18 years of my life
35:02I know
35:03Was practice clarinet
35:04Wow
35:05Now, I haven't come here to brag or anything
35:06But between...
35:07Between you and me
35:08I am what you would call
35:09Seriously good at the clarinet
35:10Wow
35:11And you know that's true
35:12Because why would I lie about that?
35:13LAUGHTER
35:14I'm not coming here going
35:15The thing is guys
35:16I'm really going to...
35:17I have nothing to write home about in bed whatsoever
35:19What I'm really good at is the clarinet
35:22You wouldn't lie about it with a clarinet in your hand
35:24LAUGHTER
35:25You don't whip that out for wet play, do you?
35:27LAUGHTER
35:30Can we get a little sample of this?
35:32Of course...
35:33Of course you can
35:37And you're trying to listen
35:38ð-m-one
35:39?
35:40?
35:41?
35:42?
35:43?
35:44?
35:46?
35:47?
35:48?
35:49?
35:50?
35:51?
35:52?
35:53?
35:55?
35:56?
35:57?
35:58?
35:59?
36:00?
36:01?
36:02?
36:03?
36:04?
36:05?
36:06?
35:42Do you know what I mean?
35:47Wow!
35:50Musical, musical!
35:52Musical!
35:53Yeah!
35:54Musical!
35:55Musical!
35:56Musical!
35:57Musical!
35:57There's not a dry seat in the house.
35:59We're going to fuck you up.
36:02John Tottle.
36:03Look what those fingers can do with a clarinet.
36:06Wait till he gets on a bar.
36:07Oh, all right.
36:08OK.
36:09John, Tottle, your turn to pick the letters.
36:12Oh, great.
36:13OK.
36:14Could I please have a vowel?
36:15Yep.
36:16He's already more confident than us.
36:17I don't know.
36:17Could I have a consonant?
36:18M.
36:19Another consonant, please.
36:20D.
36:21Vowel, please.
36:22Garfield.
36:22I feel really safe.
36:23I feel safe.
36:24Yeah.
36:25Another vowel, please.
36:27A.
36:28Could I have a consonant, please?
36:30T.
36:31Another consonant.
36:32N.
36:33A consonant, please.
36:34T.
36:35And one last vowel, please.
36:38An E.
36:39Can you do this and play the countdown theme on the clarinet at the same time?
36:41I'll give it a go.
36:42I thought he was talking to me.
36:43Yeah.
36:44LAUGHTER
36:45Absolutely, yeah.
36:47OK.
36:48And your time starts?
36:49Two, three, four, now.
36:52Oh, gosh!
36:53Oh, gosh!
36:54Oh, gosh!
36:55Oh, gosh!
36:56Oh, gosh!
36:57Oh, gosh!
36:59Oh, gosh!
37:00Oh, gosh!
37:01Oh, gosh!
37:02Oh, gosh!
37:02Oh, gosh!
37:03Oh, gosh!
37:04Oh, gosh!
37:05Oh, gosh!
37:06Oh, gosh!
37:07Oh, gosh!
37:08Oh, gosh!
37:09Oh, gosh!
37:10Oh, gosh!
37:11Oh, gosh!
37:12Oh, gosh!
37:13Can you stop?
37:14Don't stop!
37:15Ah!
37:16Ah!
37:17Oh, gosh!
37:18Oh, gosh!
37:19Oh, gosh!
37:20Oh, gosh!
37:21Oh, gosh!
37:22Oh, gosh!
37:23Oh, gosh!
37:24Oh, gosh!
37:25Oh, gosh!
37:26Oh, gosh!
37:27Oh, gosh!
37:28I've got seven.
37:29John, what have you got?
37:30I've got zero.
37:31He's got nothing.
37:32You've got nothing, you're playing...
37:32I was playing the clattern.
37:33I've got an alibi.
37:34Yeah.
37:35Catherine, you've got...
37:36Seven.
37:37Judy?
37:38Seven.
37:37Six.
37:38Five.
37:39Four.
37:40Four.
37:41Five.
37:42Five.
37:43I've got a name.
37:42Dante.
37:43Dante.
37:44Nice!
37:45Classy!
37:46Dante.
37:47OK.
37:47John, how many?
37:48Eight.
37:49We're all having fun over it.
37:50I think we've done well.
37:51You slide your eight in.
37:52Of course, you're eight.
37:53Yeah.
37:54I did that on the Pilates earlier.
37:55LAUGHTER
37:57Catherine, what's your word?
37:58Tainted.
37:59Tainted.
38:00Ooh, nice.
38:01Ooh.
38:02Rub your...
38:02You're seven.
38:03Tainted.
38:04Touch, movie, between...
38:05Look at it!
38:06You know what?
38:07Come on, come on!
38:07I love John Richard.
38:08Lovely car.
38:09But when he's winning, this little weasel...
38:12Thumbs out.
38:13LAUGHTER
38:14OK.
38:15John, what is your eight?
38:16Dominate.
38:17Oh.
38:18Oh!
38:19OK, so that's eight points to John.
38:22OK, Spencer, Susie, could they have done any better?
38:24Not any better.
38:25We've got two other eights, antidote.
38:27And a word I've never heard before.
38:29Tomateen.
38:30Tomateen.
38:31Tomateen.
38:32Yes, it's a...
38:32I'm pounding tomatoes.
38:33So, at the end of that, John and Judy are in the lead with 38 points.
38:37APPLAUSE
38:38OK, though.
38:39OK, yeah.
38:40OK, yeah.
38:41Tomateen.
38:42Tomateen, once again, for cast to Dictionary Corner.
38:44Spencer, what have you got for us?
38:46Um, well, currently I...
38:47I'm a bit skint.
38:48But eventually you get paid and you go from, I'm just going to have beans and toast tonight
38:51to this...
38:52This guy.
38:55Just been paid, didn't I?
38:58LAUGHTER
38:59Put your money away, mate.
39:00I'll get these.
39:01LAUGHTER
39:0212 Zambucas, please, mate.
39:03Does anyone else want 12 Zambucas?
39:05They're all for me!
39:06LAUGHTER
39:07While you've been skint, you've been having a little look online, you might have been
39:10having a look at a new laptop, Susie.
39:12But that little voice in your head, once you start it, it starts to get louder and louder.
39:17OK.
39:18I'm going to buy a stebladder.
39:19LAUGHTER
39:20It's useful.
39:22Heelys.
39:23Heelys.
39:25In my size.
39:26LAUGHTER
39:28So I bought that.
39:29LAUGHTER
39:32APPLAUSE
39:33You know, like, everyone's got a...
39:35APPLAUSE
39:36You know, like, everyone's got a...
39:37lap song that they swear they know the words to, but they don't know the words.
39:41You know that song...
39:42They just know how every word sounds.
39:44It happens in the car with me, a rap song will come and I'll go, kids, I...
39:47I know this one from back in the day.
39:48Don't know the words.
39:49Just make up the words.
39:50It's like...
39:51Skim, skim, she's got a...
39:52Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum...
39:56Shall we have a camera show...
39:57I'm going to say, he said,
39:58Croscat Pappadumper Dominant, eh.
40:00Clap about it.
40:02Croscat Pappadumper Dominant, eh.
40:06Croscat Pappadumper Dominant, eh.
40:07Croscat Pappadumper Dominant, eh.
40:12Croscat Pappadumper Dominant, eh.
40:13Croscat Pappadumper Dominant, eh.
40:14Croscat Pappadumper Dominant, eh.
40:17And here is your final teaser.
40:19The words are Rob's poll.
40:21The clue is...
40:22Try and Keep a Straight Face.
40:23That's Rob's poll.
40:24Try and Keep a Straight Face.
40:25See you after the break.
40:37Welcome back.
40:40The answer to the teaser.
40:41The word...
40:42The words were Rob's poll.
40:43The clue was...
40:44Try and Keep a Straight Face.
40:45It was, of course, bloopers.
40:46OK.
40:47Time for our final letters game.
40:49John and Judy, your turn to choose the letters.
40:51Go on, King.
40:52Indeed.
40:53Wow.
40:54Daddy's got this.
40:55Definitely.
40:57Daddy.
40:58Why are you brewing that?
41:00Why are you brewing that?
41:02Jimmy's...
41:03Jimmy's getting his gloves up.
41:06You ready for a day?
41:07Daddy.
41:10That's how he eats a sandwich, fucking serial killer.
41:12Daddy.
41:13Daddy.
41:14Daddy.
41:15Daddy.
41:16Daddy.
41:17Can I have a consonant, please, Rachel?
41:18You may.
41:19N.
41:21And a vowel.
41:22O.
41:23O.
41:24Oh.
41:25I've got two words.
41:26Too low.
41:27And we're going to stick.
41:29And we're going to stick.
41:32A consonant, please.
41:33L.
41:34And a vowel, please.
41:35A consonant, please.
41:36L.
41:37And a vowel, please.
41:37U.
41:38And a consonant, please.
41:39And a consonant, please.
41:40A vowel, please.
41:41A vowel, please.
41:43E.
41:44And a consonant, please.
41:45Q.
41:46OK.
41:47And while you do that, I've got a patient to see.
41:49A consonant, please.
41:51OK.
41:52Oh, these are awful.
41:53A consonant, please.
41:55A consonant, please.
41:57And a final G.
41:58Oh, dear.
41:59F**k it hell.
42:00F**k it hell.
42:01F**k it hell.
42:02OK.
42:02F**k it hell.
42:03And next.
42:06Oh, you, again.
42:07With the dog breath, how's the missus?
42:09You can brush your little teeth and...
42:12OK, your time starts now.
42:14LAUGHTER
42:17You OK? How are your canines?
42:20Such a good boy.
42:23You want a brush?
42:24Brush, brush.
42:25Oh, oh, oh.
42:26It's nice, isn't it?
42:27OK.
42:28OK.
42:29OK.
42:31OK.
42:33Looked.
42:35He arrived and gaveÃd.
42:41It's better.
42:43Here is the f well.
42:45Eliza fazla fpero.
42:47documented are a certain level ofAN RPyou.
42:50He took a lot of breath and...
42:54This can understand.
42:57Note that.
42:58It's quite a resemblance.
43:00Go on, you go. You go to Mummy.
43:03Catherine, John, Rob, how many?
43:07I've got a five.
43:08OK, John?
43:09I've got a three.
43:10I'll let you down.
43:11A three? Catherine, how many?
43:12I've got seven.
43:13Seven, Jimmy.
43:14OK. Judy, how many?
43:15Surprisingly, two.
43:17LAUGHTER
43:18We've got a seven.
43:19Judy and I, we've got a seven.
43:23Yeah.
43:24Judy, what's your two?
43:26No.
43:27LAUGHTER
43:28John, what's your...
43:30Noor.
43:31N-O-R.
43:32Noor.
43:33Noor.
43:34Noor.
43:35Yeah, Rob.
43:36Loner.
43:37Loner.
43:38Very good.
43:38John, your seven?
43:39Want to hear us?
43:40Traditionally on the show, you go with the risky one first.
43:42OK, all right.
43:43But no, I don't give a shit, cos I'm just...
43:45Do you not give a shit or are you really annoyed?
43:47I'm here for...
43:48Two shits and giggles, mate, and I've already had one.
43:50Can I...
43:51LAUGHTER
43:53LAUGHTER
43:54LAUGHTER
43:55LAUGHTER
43:56Lou...
43:57Lounger.
43:58Uh, count...
43:58Catherine, is that your seven?
43:59Well, similar.
44:00I've got longer, but I don't...
44:02Oh, lovely.
44:03I think we need two U's for that.
44:05So it's L-O-N-G-U-E-U-R.
44:08Seven points to John.
44:10APPLAUSE
44:11Oh, thank you.
44:13Spencer, Susie, could they have done any better?
44:18Nope.
44:19Lounger was ours as well.
44:20Now, whenever we have the clarinet played on the show...
44:23we do something a little bit special.
44:24The traditional countdown is a 29-point conundrum.
44:27LAUGHTER
44:28I look forward to losing that.
44:29LAUGHTER
44:30You're being patronised, Rob, and I wouldn't stand for it.
44:32Yeah.
44:33OK, fingers on buzzers.
44:35It's time for today's 29-point...
44:37Where's the buzzer?
44:38Countdown conundrum.
44:39She doesn't know where the buzzer is.
44:41LAUGHTER
44:43Well, in fairness, Judy, we didn't give you a buzzer
44:45because we don't think you're going to need it.
44:47LAUGHTER
44:48OK, fingers on buzzers.
44:49It's time for today's crucial countdown conundrum.
44:52Your time...
44:53Your time starts...
44:54Go on, John.
44:55..now.
44:56At least lock.
44:57LAUGHTER
44:59Oh, you're joking.
45:00Oh, no.
45:01I haven't got it.
45:02Let's restart.
45:03Let's restart that.
45:04Yeah.
45:05.
45:06.
45:07.
45:08.
45:09.
45:10.
45:11.
45:12.
45:13.
45:14.
45:15.
45:16.
45:17.
45:18.
45:19.
45:20.
45:21.
45:22.
45:23.
45:24.
45:25.
45:26.
45:27.
45:28.
45:29.
45:30.
45:31.
45:58.
46:00Yeah!
46:01No one did!
46:02Yeah!
46:03No one did!
46:05No one did!
46:07No one did!
46:08No one did!
46:09No one did!
46:10No one did!
46:11Fuckin' hell!
46:12Fuckin' hell!
46:13Fuckin' hell!
46:16Congratulations!
46:17You're now the proud owner of this, The Countdown Fencing Kit!
46:20Thanks to all our family!
46:21Thanks to all our family!
46:22Thanks to all our family!
46:25That's our wonderful studio audience!
46:26It's all of you for watching at home!
46:27That's it from us!
46:28Goodnight!
46:30Thank you!
46:31Thank you!
46:35Well, fencing geared down and football shirts on for the afternoon.
46:40Back on final, Senegal vs Morocco live Sunday at half 6 on E4.
46:45Here next on Channel 4, are the secrets of their comedy genius final?
46:50Finally revealed in Taskmaster Class.
46:55Thank you!
46:56Thank you!
46:57Thank you!
46:58Thank you!
47:00Thank you!
47:01Thank you!
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