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Almost 25 or so years later, we all still hate that Toad one-liner.
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00:00So, there's no denying the importance and the impact of the original 2000 X-Men movie.
00:05As one of Hollywood's first serious attempts at a big-budget superhero film,
00:09its success proved that audience were definitely thirsty to see these types of stories brought to life in live-action form.
00:16And it, of course, kick-started a long-running X-Men movie franchise
00:19and encouraged studios to start buying up every popular comic IP that they could get their hands on.
00:25But while X-Men remains a solidly enjoyable superhero movie today,
00:29it's also fair to say that not everything about it has aged all that well.
00:34In fact, I'd go as far to say that there are some things about the 2000s X-Men movie
00:38that we've all hated ever since the film first came out, whether we wanted to admit it or not.
00:43And that's what we're here to talk about today.
00:44As I'm Jules, this is WhatCulture.com, and this is everything you always hated in X-Men.
00:5015. The Absence of the Animated X-Men Theme
00:54Now, this film left some fans disappointed right from the get-go,
00:57as X-Men's brief CGI-laced opening title sequence didn't feature the expected reprise
01:03of Ron Wasserman's iconic, even legendary theme from the 1990s X-Men animated series.
01:09Not even a hint of that unforgettable theme is found in Michael Kamen's original score,
01:14which, while certainly being good, feels a little lacking without even the faintest invocation
01:19of the single piece of music that everybody associates with X-Men.
01:23In fact, it wasn't until the recent Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
01:26that we got to hear an orchestral version of the theme in a Marvel movie,
01:30where Professor X showed up in the film's infamous Illuminati sequence.
01:3414. Rogue's Terrible Southern Accent
01:37Look, nobody wants to bag on a young actress trying to make it in Hollywood,
01:42but in the case of Anna Paquin, she already had an Oscar to her name for her performance
01:46in The Piano many years earlier. And so, it doesn't seem unfair to expect better from her
01:51where her Southern accent for Rogue is concerned, which, to be blunt, is atrocious.
01:56From the moment that we hear Rogue speak, it sounds like a highly-affected attempt at a Southern twang,
02:01but the worst part is that it's wildly inconsistent throughout the film,
02:04ramping up and then fading away between scenes.
02:08The decision was evidently made to phase Rogue's accent out for the sequels.
02:11Yet, ironically, when she later starred in the HBO vampire series True Blood,
02:16her Southern accent was considerably more convincing.
02:19She definitely put in the work, it seems.
02:2113. Wolverine Can't Smell Rogue
02:23It's easy to forget that Wolverine has an enhanced sense of smell.
02:27It's a power that's used so infrequently throughout these movies,
02:30yet he does use it twice in the original X-Men film.
02:33First, he's able to smell Sabretooth before he shows up,
02:37and then, near the end of the movie, he uses the ability to detect when Mystique
02:40poses as Storm inside the Statue of Liberty.
02:43And yet, for some reason, Logan is unable to smell Rogue
02:46when she sneaks into the trailer of his car early on in Alberta.
02:50He only notices her when she makes some noise,
02:52which seems like a pretty odd oversight.
02:55Is this a nitpick? Maybe,
02:56but the consistency of powers is massively important in superhero movies,
03:00even when it's an ability as benign as a super sense of smell.
03:0412. The Car Crash Continuity Error
03:07Now, there are nitpick, continuity errors,
03:09and then there are mistakes so blinding and distractingly obvious
03:12that they deserve to be called out.
03:14Case in point, after Wolverine crashes his car into a tree when Sabretooth attacks,
03:19shows the front of the truck being totally crushed.
03:21The windshield is shattered and squashed by the impact,
03:24and yet, in the next shot, the truck looks in considerably better condition,
03:28with the windshield basically intact,
03:30providing enough of an opening for Wolverine to be launched through it
03:33due to not wearing a seatbelt.
03:34Obviously, in reality, the crushed front of the car
03:37would have prevented Logan from being propelled through the windshield,
03:40but the power of editing is such that popcorn-gobbling audiences never noticed it.
03:45In the era of streaming and 4K video,
03:47where every imperfection can be poured over ad nauseum, though,
03:50well, it's a glaring mistake.
03:5111. The Jubilee Tease That Went Nowhere
03:54Because the first X-Men has to introduce audiences to so many characters and ideas,
03:59it naturally leaves a number of easter eggs, references, and cameos in plain sight,
04:03hinting at the mutants that we might expect to see in the sequels.
04:07But perhaps the most infuriating of these teases is the beloved mutant Jubilee,
04:11who is briefly shown wearing her distinctive yellow attire in one of the classes that is held at the X-Mansion.
04:16Now, while at the time it was easy to be optimistic that we'd eventually get to see Jubilee
04:20have a prominent billing in the X-Men franchise,
04:22over 20 years later, it is maddening that it's never actually happened.
04:26Now, she has appeared in numerous other X-films,
04:29albeit only in throwaway cameo capacities.
04:31She was in X-2 and X-Men The Last Stand,
04:34and also in X-Men Apocalypse, which was basically an extended cameo.
04:38Yet Lana Condor, who played her in that film,
04:40didn't appear in Dark Phoenix due to scheduling conflicts.
04:43Hopefully, when the MCU introduces the X-Men fully,
04:46they won't neglect this beloved character,
04:48who absolutely deserves to get her time to shine on the big screen.
04:5110. The Cringeworthy Love Triangle
04:54The love triangle between Wolverine, Jean Grey, and Cyclops was admittedly something from the comics
04:59that was imported into this movie, but I ask you, did it really need to be?
05:03There's enough going on in this film that the inclusion of a cringeworthy potential romance
05:07between Logan and Jean feels totally unnecessary,
05:10not to mention wildly rushed in a movie that's got so much narrative ground to cover.
05:14Why is this a priority?
05:16Throw in a ton of possessive male posturing,
05:19such as Cyclops telling Logan,
05:20stay away from my girl,
05:22and it's by far the weakest, iffiest sub in the entire movie.
05:26That it apparently went through a lot of changes during shooting,
05:29as Bryan Singer hadn't committed to one side of the romantic equation,
05:32isn't remotely surprising.
05:349. The Goofy Senator Kelly CGI
05:37Conversely, one of the most fascinating and well-executed subplots in the film
05:41involves Senator Kelly, the anti-mutant politician who is ironically turned into a mutant by Magneto.
05:47But this is the point at which the film's age begins to show,
05:50as the visual effects for Kelly's transformation are definitely not great,
05:54and honestly barely held muster even upon its original release.
05:57As Kelly wakes up, he realizes that he now possesses an elastic ability,
06:00which he demonstrates by pressing his head against his cell bars,
06:04whereby his head squeezes through the gap.
06:06The CGI is pretty goofy looking, even by early 2000s standards,
06:09and so thankfully isn't lingered upon for too long.
06:12In the sequence in which Kelly dies after his body rejects the mutation
06:15and he dissolves into liquid, well that also looks very silly,
06:18as Hollywood hadn't yet got a handle on complex fluid-based VFX
06:22that also incorporated human elements.
06:24It's hardly the movie's biggest sin, but it's certainly aged like milk regardless.
06:298. Sabretooth is a Total Joke
06:31One of the biggest complaints from comic book fans about the original X-Men movie
06:35is its rather meagre treatment of Sabretooth.
06:38Though stuntman-turned-actor Tyler Mayne certainly brings the imposing presence to this part,
06:43as a character, he's also more than a thin sketch.
06:46Throughout the film, he doesn't do much more than grunt, look big, and occasionally kick somebody's ass,
06:50but he's too often depicted as glorified comic relief,
06:53a klutz who just bumps into things and gets thrown around a lot.
06:56The character looks great, but has no dimensionality whatsoever,
07:00and it wasn't until X-Men Origins Wolverine, almost an entire decade later,
07:03that we finally got, well, something more than this.
07:077. Wolverine's Silly Motorcycle Ride
07:10Here's a scene that almost nobody talks about despite the fact that it is just so incredibly goofy.
07:16Midway through the film, Logan steals Cyclops' motorcycle in order to chase down Rogue,
07:21who has decided to leave the school.
07:23While driving the bike around, Logan notices a strange button on it, which he of course presses.
07:27This initiates the bike's boost function, sending the bike careening forward at an insane speed,
07:32all the while Logan barely holds on, and clearly, he loves it.
07:36And yet, the weird digital treatment of the shot, rendering Hugh Jackman's face as a shaky blur,
07:41and the clunky movement of the bike itself make the scene feel so, so much of a product of the early 2000s.
07:476. Why Didn't Xavier Make Sabretooth Remove Magneto's Helmet
07:51At the end of the film's second act, Magneto takes custody of Rogue,
07:54and Professor X uses his abilities to mentally possess Sabretooth,
07:58in turn grabbing Magneto by the neck in an attempt to stop him.
08:02However, Magneto uses his abilities to turn all of the surrounding police officers' guns on themselves,
08:07and then threatens to fire them if Xavier doesn't let Sabretooth go.
08:11Xavier relents, and in turn proves himself to be considerably more stupid than anyone expected.
08:16Because here's the question, why didn't he just have Sabretooth remove Magneto's helmet,
08:20which would have allowed Xavier to then control and subdue Magneto as well?
08:23Yes, the answer is basically because the movie says so,
08:27but it's still a glaring oversight that Xavier, of all people, would miss a wide-open opportunity like this.
08:325. Storm's Wildly Inconsistent Accent
08:36Though on paper Halle Berry seemed like a fine casting choice for Storm,
08:39her performance in the first X-Men film, in particular, was divisively received by the fanbase,
08:44and even in the sequels where she was largely deemed a disappointment.
08:47But the single most staggering issue with Berry's portrayal is her infamously shifting accent.
08:53In the first film, she plays Storm with an apparently Kenyan accent,
08:56yet it's so wildly inconsistent and difficult to pass that you couldn't be blamed for failing to notice.
09:01For whatever reason, the decision was made, probably sensibly,
09:04to more or less ditch the accent entirely for the sequels,
09:07where she basically speaks with her own natural American accent.
09:09While you can appreciate the desire to respect Storm's Kenyan roots in the movie,
09:14Berry's inability to nail the accent ultimately proved more distracting than anything else.
09:194. The Yellow Spandex Line
09:21Comic book movies in general love their wink-wink, ham-fisted fan service,
09:26and though X-Men toes the line pretty well for the most part,
09:28screenwriter David Hayter couldn't resist one toe-curlingly daft reference
09:32to the hero's iconic original attire from the comics.
09:35In the movie's third act, the X-Men donned their black leather costumes to do battle as a team,
09:39a choice of wardrobe that proved massively divisive with fans
09:42who felt it deviated too much from the yellow spandex numbers from the comics.
09:46And so, as the X-Men set off to do battle with Magneto and company,
09:50there's a line where Wolverine mocks the black leather outfits,
09:52only for Cyclops to retort,
09:54What would you prefer? Yellow spandex?
09:56Though producer Ralph Winter insists that the line wasn't intended as a jab at fans,
10:00it's nevertheless a pretty groan-worthy nod towards the mutant's iconic original attire
10:04from the comics.
10:06Later, X-Men films proved to be a little less embarrassed about flashing some yellow,
10:10but it certainly took some years getting there.
10:123. Toad dances a jig because of reasons
10:15Much like Sabretooth, Toad, played by Ray Park,
10:18is a total joke character throughout the film,
10:21though at least his abilities are silly enough that it doesn't really undermine his character.
10:25Even so, it's hard not to wince at some of the goofball mugging that Toad gets up to
10:29in this action-packed third act,
10:31even going so far as, for some reason,
10:32decided to randomly dance a jig while battling Jean Grey.
10:36It has a strong whiff of improv that Ray Park probably just threw in there
10:39and that Bryan Singer liked enough to keep in the final cut.
10:42It may only last a few seconds,
10:43but it's ultimately more of a baffling head-scratcher than genuinely amusing.
10:482. The infamous Toad line
10:50Surely the single moment in the movie that just about everybody hates
10:54is the infamous one-liner dropped by Storm moments before she kills Toad.
10:58As she fires up a storm, she quips to him,
11:00Do you know what happens to a Toad when it's struck by lightning?
11:03The same thing that happens to everything else.
11:05The line is delivered in a dead serious flat monotone by Berry,
11:09which certainly didn't help the reception to her performance at all.
11:12Joss Whedon, who contributed the one-liner to the script,
11:15later stated in interviews that the line was supposed to be spoken with a knowing smarm,
11:19rather than Berry's more straight-laced approach.
11:21It's also been rumored that Toad was originally supposed to make a reoccurring joke throughout the film,
11:25asking about what happens to a Toad in certain situations,
11:28which would have made Storm's retort feel like more of an organic payoff.
11:32Either way, it's a terrible line reading and one that fans continue to lament over 20 years later.
11:371. Nobody notices Senator Kelly's yellow eyes
11:41And finally, at the very end of the film,
11:43we see TV footage of Senator Kelly rescinding his prior position on the Mutant Registration Act,
11:48with Storm pausing the TV just as Kelly's eyes turn yellow,
11:51confirming him to be, in fact, Mystique in disguise.
11:55Except, if Storm notices this, wouldn't members of the general public notice this as well?
11:59Now, in fairness, your average punter doesn't know who Mystique is
12:02and wouldn't immediately realize precisely what's going on,
12:05but with mutants being openly known in the world of the X-Men movies,
12:08it wouldn't take too much deductive reasoning for people to assume
12:11that the yellow eyes indicated a mutant hijacking of some kind,
12:15especially given the suddenness of Kelly reversing his stance on mutant registration.
12:18If this sort of thing happened today,
12:20in a world where everything could be clipped out and posted to social media within seconds,
12:24Mystique's ruse would have been rumbled in record time.
12:27Even back in 2000, though, it surely would have turned some heads, right?
12:31And there we go, my friends.
12:32That was everything you always hated in X-Men.
12:34I hope that you enjoyed that,
12:35and please let me know what you thought about it down in the comments section below.
12:38As always, I've been Jules.
12:39You can go follow me over on Twitter at RetroJ, but the O is a zero.
12:43Or you can swing by Instagram, where it's the same handle, RetroJ, but the O is a zero.
12:47Hope to see you over there.
12:49But before I go, I just want to say one thing.
12:51Even though we talked a lot about everything we hated in X-Men,
12:54I want you, my friend, to learn to love yourself,
12:56because you are an absolute ledge.
12:58You deserve all of the best things in life,
13:00like love, happiness, and success.
13:03And don't let anything or anyone else tell you otherwise, all right?
13:06I want you to go out there and absolutely smash it today.
13:08I believe in you.
13:09As always, I've been Jules.
13:10You have been awesome.
13:11Never forget that.
13:12And I'll speak to you soon.
13:13Bye.
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