- 18 hours ago
Almost 25 years later, we all still hate that Toad one-liner.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00So, there's no denying the importance and the impact of the original 2000 X-Men movie.
00:06As one of Hollywood's first serious attempts at a big-budget superhero film,
00:10its success proved that audience were definitely thirsty to see these types of stories brought to life in live-action form.
00:16And it, of course, kick-started a long-running X-Men movie franchise
00:19and encouraged studios to start buying up every popular comic IP that they could get their hands on.
00:25But while X-Men remains a solidly enjoyable superhero movie today,
00:30it's also fair to say that not everything about it has aged all that well.
00:34In fact, I'd go as far to say that there are some things about the 2000s X-Men movie
00:38that we've all hated ever since the film first came out, whether we wanted to admit it or not.
00:43And that's what we're here to talk about today.
00:44As I'm Jules, this is WhatCulture.com, and this is everything you always hated in X-Men.
00:5015. The Absence of the Animated X-Men Theme
00:54Now, this film left some fans disappointed right from the get-go,
00:58as X-Men's brief CGI-laced opening title sequence didn't feature the expected reprise
01:03of Ron Wasserman's iconic, even legendary theme from the 1990s X-Men animated series.
01:09Not even a hint of that unforgettable theme is found in Michael Kamen's original score,
01:15which, while certainly being good, feels a little lacking without even the faintest invocation
01:19of the single piece of music that everybody associates with X-Men.
01:23In fact, it wasn't until the recent Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
01:26that we got to hear an orchestral version of the theme in a Marvel movie,
01:30where Professor X showed up in the film's infamous Illuminati sequence.
01:3514. Rogue's Terrible Southern Accent
01:38Look, nobody wants to bag on a young actress trying to make it in Hollywood,
01:42but in the case of Anna Paquin, she already had an Oscar to her name for her performance
01:46in The Piano many years earlier. And so, it doesn't seem unfair to expect better from her
01:51where her Southern accent for Rogue is concerned, which, to be blunt, is atrocious.
01:56From the moment that we hear Rogue speak, it sounds like a highly-affected attempt at a Southern twang,
02:01but the worst part is that it's wildly inconsistent throughout the film,
02:05ramping up and then fading away between scenes.
02:08The decision was evidently made to phase Rogue's accent out for the sequels.
02:11Yet, ironically, when she later starred in the HBO vampire series True Blood,
02:16her Southern accent was considerably more convincing.
02:19She definitely put in the work, it seems.
02:2113. Wolverine Can't Smell Rogue
02:24It's easy to forget that Wolverine has an enhanced sense of smell.
02:28It's a power that's used so infrequently throughout these movies,
02:30yet he does use it twice in the original X-Men film.
02:33First, he's able to smell Sabretooth before he shows up,
02:37and then, near the end of the movie, he uses the ability to detect when Mystique
02:41poses as Storm inside the Statue of Liberty.
02:44And yet, for some reason, Logan is unable to smell Rogue
02:47when she sneaks into the trailer of his car early on in Alberta.
02:50He only notices her when she makes some noise, which seems like a pretty odd oversight.
02:55Is this a nitpick? Maybe, but the consistency of powers is massively important in superhero movies,
03:00even when it's an ability as benign as a super sense of smell.
03:0412. The Car Crash Continuity Error
03:07Now, there are nitpick, continuity errors, and then there are mistakes so blinding and
03:11distractingly obvious that they deserve to be called out. Case in point, after Wolverine
03:16crashes his car into a tree when Sabretooth attacks, shows the front of the truck being
03:20totally crushed. The windshield is shattered and squashed by the impact, and yet, in the next shot,
03:26the truck looks in considerably better condition, with the windshield basically intact,
03:30providing enough of an opening for Wolverine to be launched through it due to not wearing a seatbelt.
03:34Obviously, in reality, the crushed front of the car would have prevented Logan from being
03:38propelled through the windshield, but the power of editing is such that popcorn-gobbling audiences
03:43never noticed it. In the era of streaming and 4K video where every imperfection can be poured over
03:49ad nauseum, though, well, it's a glaring mistake.
03:5111. The Jubilee Tease That Went Nowhere
03:54Because the first X-Men has to introduce audiences to so many characters and ideas,
03:59it naturally leaves a number of easter eggs, references, and cameos in plain sight,
04:04hinting at the mutants that we might expect to see in the sequels. But perhaps the most
04:08infuriating of these teases is the beloved mutant Jubilee, who is briefly shown wearing
04:12her distinctive yellow attire in one of the classes that is held at the X-Mansion.
04:16Now, while at the time it was easy to be optimistic that we'd eventually get to see Jubilee have a
04:20prominent billing in the X-Men franchise, over 20 years later, it is maddening that it's never
04:25actually happened. Now, she has appeared in numerous other X-films, albeit only in throwaway
04:30cameo capacities. She was in X2 and X-Men The Last Stand, and also in X-Men Apocalypse,
04:36which was basically an extended cameo. Yet Lana Condor, who played her in that film,
04:40didn't appear in Dark Phoenix due to scheduling conflicts. Hopefully, when the MCU introduces the
04:45X-Men fully, they won't neglect this beloved character, who absolutely deserves to get her time
04:50to shine on the big screen. 10. The Cringeworthy Love Triangle
04:54The love triangle between Wolverine, Jean Grey, and Cyclops was admittedly something from the
04:59comics that was imported into this movie, but I ask you, did it really need to be? There's
05:03enough going on in this film that the inclusion of a cringeworthy potential romance between Logan
05:08and Jean feels totally unnecessary, not to mention wildly rushed in a movie that's got so much
05:12narrative ground to cover. Why is this a priority? Throw in a ton of possessive male posturing,
05:19such as Cyclops telling Logan, stay away from my girl, and it's by far the weakest,
05:24iffiest sub in the entire movie. That it apparently went through a lot of changes during shooting,
05:29as Bryan Singer hadn't committed to one side of the romantic equation, isn't remotely surprising.
05:349. The Goofy Senator Kelly CGI
05:37Conversely, one of the most fascinating and well-executed subplots in the film involves
05:41Senator Kelly, the anti-mutant politician who is ironically turned into a mutant by Magneto.
05:47But this is the point at which the film's age begins to show, as the visual effects for Kelly's
05:51transformation are definitely not great, and honestly barely held muster even upon its original
05:56release. As Kelly wakes up, he realizes that he now possesses an elastic ability, which he
06:01demonstrates by pressing his head against his cell bars, whereby his head squeezes through the gap.
06:06The CGI is pretty goofy looking, even by early 2000s standards, and so thankfully isn't lingered upon
06:12for too long. In the sequence in which Kelly dies after his body rejects the mutation and he dissolves
06:16into liquid, well that also looks very silly, as Hollywood hadn't yet got a handle on complex
06:21fluid-based VFX that also incorporated human elements. It's hardly the movie's biggest sin,
06:26but it's certainly aged like milk regardless.
06:298. Sabretooth Is A Total Joke
06:32One of the biggest complaints from comic book fans about the original X-Men movie is its rather
06:36meagre treatment of Sabretooth. Though stuntman-turned-actor Tyler Maine certainly brings
06:41the imposing presence to this part, as a character, he's also more than a thin sketch. Throughout the
06:46film, he doesn't do much more than grunt, look big, and occasionally kick somebody's ass, but he's
06:51too often depicted as glorified comic relief, a klutz who just bumps into things and gets thrown around
06:56a lot. The character looks great, but has no dimensionality whatsoever, and it wasn't until X-Men
07:01Origins Wolverine almost an entire decade later that we finally got, well, something more than this.
07:077. Wolverine's Silly Motorcycle Ride
07:10Here's a scene that almost nobody talks about despite the fact that it is just so incredibly
07:15goofy. Midway through the film, Logan steals Cyclops' motorcycle in order to chase down Rogue,
07:21who has decided to leave the school. While driving the bike around, Logan notices a strange button on
07:26it, which he of course presses. This initiates the bike's boost function, sending the bike careening
07:30forward at an insane speed, all the while Logan barely holds on, and clearly, he loves it. And
07:36yet, the weird digital treatment of the shot, rendering Hugh Jackman's face as a shaky blur,
07:41and the clunky movement of the bike itself make the scene feel so, so much of a product of the early
07:462000s. 6. Why Didn't Xavier Make Sabretooth Remove Magneto's Helmet
07:51At the end of the film's second act, Magneto takes custody of Rogue, and Professor X uses his abilities
07:56to mentally possess Sabretooth, in turn grabbing Magneto by the neck in an attempt to stop him.
08:02However, Magneto uses his abilities to turn all of the surrounding police officers' guns on
08:06themselves, and then threatens to fire them if Xavier doesn't let Sabretooth go. Xavier relents,
08:12and in turn proves himself to be considerably more stupid than anyone expected. Because here's the
08:17question, why didn't he just have Sabretooth remove Magneto's helmet, which would have allowed
08:21Xavier to then control and subdue Magneto as well? Yes, the answer is basically because the movie says
08:26so, but it's still a glaring oversight that Xavier, of all people, would miss a wide-open
08:31opportunity like this. 5. Storm's Wildly Inconsistent Accent
08:36Though on paper Halle Berry seemed like a fine casting choice for Storm, her performance in the
08:40first X-Men film, in particular, was divisively received by the fanbase, and even in the sequels
08:46where she was largely deemed a disappointment. But the single most staggering issue with Berry's
08:50portrayal is her infamously shifting accent. In the first film, she plays Storm with an apparently
08:55Kenyan accent, yet it's so wildly inconsistent and difficult to pass that you couldn't be blamed
09:00for failing to notice. For whatever reason, the decision was made, probably sensibly, to more
09:05or less ditch the accent entirely for the sequels, where she basically speaks with her own natural
09:09American accent. While you can appreciate the desire to respect Storm's Kenyan roots in the
09:13movie, Berry's inability to nail the accent ultimately proved more distracting than anything else.
09:184. The Yellow Spandex Line
09:21Comic book movies in general love their wink-wink, ham-fisted fan service, and though X-Men toes
09:27the line pretty well for the most part, screenwriter David Hayter couldn't resist one toe-curlingly
09:31daft reference to the hero's iconic original attire from the comics. In the movie's third
09:36act, the X-Men donned their black leather costumes to do battle as a team, a choice of wardrobe that
09:41proved massively divisive with fans who felt it deviated too much from the yellow spandex numbers
09:45from the comics. And so, as the X-Men set off to do battle with Magneto and company, there's a line
09:50where Wolverine mocks the black leather outfits, only for Cyclops to retort, what would you prefer,
09:55yellow spandex? Though producer Ralph Winter insists that the line wasn't intended as a jab at fans,
10:00it's nevertheless a pretty groan-worthy nod towards the mutant's iconic original attire from the comics.
10:06Later, X-Men films proved to be a little less embarrassed about flashing some yellow,
10:10but it certainly took some years getting there.
10:123. Toad dances a jig because of reasons
10:16Much like Sabretooth, Toad, played by Ray Park, is a total joke character throughout the film,
10:21though at least his abilities are silly enough that it doesn't really undermine his character.
10:25Even so, it's hard not to wince at some of the goofball mugging that Toad gets up to in this
10:29action-packed third act, even going so far as, for some reason, decided to randomly dance a jig while
10:34battling Jean Grey. It has a strong whiff of improv that Ray Park probably just threw in there and that
10:39Bryan Singer liked enough to keep in the final cut. It may only last a few seconds,
10:44but it's ultimately more of a baffling head-scratcher than genuinely amusing.
10:482. The Infamous Toad Line
10:50Surely the single moment in the movie that just about everybody hates is the infamous one-liner
10:55dropped by storm moments before she kills Toad. As she fires up a storm, she quips to him,
11:01do you know what happens to a Toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to
11:04everything else. The line is delivered in a dead serious flat monotone by Berry, which certainly
11:09didn't help the reception to her performance at all. Joss Whedon, who contributed the one-liner to
11:14the script, later stated in interviews that the line was supposed to be spoken with a knowing smarm,
11:19rather than Berry's more straight-laced approach. It's also been rumored that Toad was originally
11:23supposed to make a reoccurring joke throughout the film, asking about what happens to a Toad in
11:27certain situations, which would have made Storm's retort feel like more of an organic payoff.
11:32Either way, it's a terrible line reading and one that fans continue to lament over 20 years later.
11:381. Nobody Notices Senator Kelly's Yellow Eyes
11:41And finally, at the very end of the film, we see TV footage of Senator Kelly rescinding his prior
11:46position on the Mutant Registration Act, with Storm pausing the TV just as Kelly's eyes turn
11:51yellow, confirming him to be, in fact, Mystique in disguise. Except if Storm notices this,
11:56wouldn't members of the general public notice this as well? Now, in fairness,
12:00your average punter doesn't know who Mystique is and wouldn't immediately realize precisely what's
12:04going on. But with mutants being openly known in the world of the X-Men movies, it wouldn't take too
12:09much deductive reasoning for people to assume that the yellow eyes indicated a mutant hijacking of
12:14some kind, especially given the suddenness of Kelly reversing his stance on mutant registration.
12:19If this sort of thing happened today, in a world where everything could be clipped out and posted to
12:23social media within seconds, Mystique's ruse would have been rumbled in record time. Even back in 2000,
12:29though it surely would have turned some heads, right?
12:31And there we go, my friends. That was everything you always hated in X-Men. I hope that you enjoyed
12:35that and please let me know what you thought about it down in the comment section below.
12:39As always, I've been Jules. You can go follow me over on Twitter at RetroJ, but the O is a zero.
12:43Or you can swing by Instagram where it's the same handle, RetroJ, but the O is a zero.
12:47Hope to see you over there. But before I go, I just want to say one thing. Even though we talked a lot
12:52about everything we hated in X-Men, I want you, my friend, to learn to love yourself because you are an
12:57absolute ledge. You deserve all of the best things in life like love, happiness, and success. And
13:03don't let anything or anyone else tell you otherwise, all right? I want you to go out
13:06there and absolutely smash it today. I believe in you. As always, I've been Jules. You have
13:10been awesome. Never forget that. And I'll speak to you soon. Bye.
Comments