00:00I think sometimes like there are some doctors who totally get it and like go
00:04with it but then there are other doctors that you'll meet and you'll be like I'll
00:07be cracking jokes and they're just like what are you doing stop being
00:11relentlessly funny I find it personally a great way of dealing with what I've
00:15gone through
00:18I'm Kirstie, Kirstie Mills I'm 33 and I live here in Nairn I have for the last
00:30decade or so been living with a combination of different health
00:35conditions quite serious health conditions so I was diagnosed when I was
00:3920 with a liver disease and lupus just over that that time frame living as a
00:44young person across my 20s these diseases impacted my life in ways that
00:49probably aren't immediately obvious whilst I was very lucky to be healthy and be
00:53able to work and live my life generally as a normal person it certainly still had
00:58an impact and I think that in writing this book I wanted to firstly raise
01:02awareness of autoimmune conditions and how they impact people's lives but also
01:06help anybody else who's going through a similar situation be it in their health
01:10or with other challenges in life and just sort of have a book that they can read
01:15and see how I've approached different situations in my life that have been a
01:20bit challenging and worked through I think the the impetus for writing the book
01:26came about when I turned 30 because there were some sort of monumental things
01:31that happened related to my health I've been told that I wouldn't be able to
01:35undergo IVF because of my my liver condition and I couldn't conceive
01:40naturally without a liver transplant and whilst you know children weren't on my
01:45immediate plans at that time it was just sort of a moment where I was like
01:50actually this is my life is now starting to diverge quite substantially from what I
01:54would maybe have expected to do at this point in my life as a young person I
01:57think I've become so used to it now that I always think oh it doesn't really
02:02impact my life that much but I guess when you break it down it does so
02:05the medication firstly that I take has lots of side effects I'm more inclined
02:09to get infections and those infections can get quite serious I get really tired
02:15very easily I have lots of bruises like random bruises just all over my body from
02:20my liver not working very well fatigue as well like I can't do sports for too
02:26long like intense sports definitely not work as well you know I can't work all
02:31hours that God gave me because I just I get so tired like I get a lot of
02:35brain fog as well sometimes like life insurance I can't get life insurance so
02:39that was a bit of a problem when I was like applying for a mortgage because they
02:43just think I'm gonna like die the next day so they refuse to cover me travel
02:47insurance I can't get travel insurance for like the US at all and even like
02:52Europe it costs like thousands of pounds so it's really expensive to go on
02:57holiday I've always sort of played it safe when it comes to work I've always
03:01considered my job choices in light of my illness like what will allow me to go and
03:08have appointments you know won't make me too stressed won't make me too tired and
03:14gives me that sort of routine I've never considered working abroad because all my
03:20NHS care is here my family support network is over here in the UK I'm very lucky to
03:25have that in terms of like medications so things like contraception I'm rolled out
03:32of like a whole load of different types of contraception because the hormones
03:36interact with my liver not very good way things like antibiotics or just general
03:40medicines that you might take without thinking about them a lot of them are
03:45quite toxic on the liver obviously don't drink that's okay forget about that
03:49because it's just not even on my horizon I'm not like I can't have children
03:53naturally I'm in my current state even if I was to have a transplant it would be
03:57complicated pregnancy I think because of my other like lupus and the ongoing
04:04conditions of my immune system whether it's the medication or my liver not
04:09being very well or the lupus but I have a lot of hair loss and so I have to wear
04:14wigs and like my hair I do still have hair but it's incredibly thin it falls
04:20out all the time when I was maybe 23 24 I started wearing wigs just to give me a
04:26bit more confidence again like I don't think about it now it's just second
04:30nature I you know I deal with that every day but I guess that is and that's
04:35quite a big impact as well I mean there's never a good time to get diagnosed
04:37with a serious illness but I was very fortunate to like you say you know I had my
04:43teenage years relatively free from like having to deal with all of this which
04:47was great and managed to get my exams and things done but then also I think
04:51having it so young means that as an adult I've had the time to sort of grow up
04:56with it and it has become a part of my personality and and like how I am as a
05:01person certainly when I was a lot younger you know I had no but I'd been I
05:05could count the number of times I've been to the doctor on one hand kind of thing
05:08right and then to be lifted up and dropped into this world of medicine and
05:13like it's not easy to navigate it's you don't know who you're meant to be
05:18speaking to or to draw the dots between different people and you know I was down
05:22in Edinburgh at the time and some doctors are lovely and but equally I have
05:26had a number of doctors who are not very friendly and I think looking back
05:31thinking of myself as a 19 20 year old like I do think that maybe some of them
05:36could be a little bit nicer or like a little bit more sympathetic there's a
05:40lot of information out there for people who have liver conditions and autoimmune
05:43conditions on like social media there's a whole load of really good accounts you
05:49know people posting their experiences and I think that's all grand but I
05:53personally get a little bit overwhelmed by social media sometimes and you know you
05:57can spend hours just scrolling and it's not particularly conducive to being like
06:02mentally well so I think that what I wanted to achieve with this book was have
06:07something that was offline but also there for the rest of time I guess for
06:13people to to read if they were diagnosed with the same conditions as me or you
06:19know just any health conditions I think really there's something I'm actually
06:22quite conscious of is how I flip between really really serious things and then
06:28trying to make light of or you know jokey I think it's just me as a person
06:32though I because there is so much seriousness in in my health and I've had to
06:38deal with that I am all too aware that that my main crutch if you like or or
06:44support way of dealing with it is through humour and trying to make light of it
06:48particularly when talking to other people about my conditions and I like to do
06:53that because I think I overshare but also you know just to raise awareness don't
06:57want to make people feel uncomfortable when you're talking to them about your
07:03health and whether that's right or wrong whether I should feel that way or not I
07:08do and and so the way that I approach that is to try and and not to take away
07:15from the seriousness of the the conditions but just to sort of make it as
07:19understandable and approachable as possible and I think humour is a really
07:23good way of of doing that I describe it as like a word hug and and I just would
07:28like the book to be considered in that way just a comfort for people
07:35love you
07:38and I think that's just so much
07:39like the whole thing that I think is that hopefully I am a good deal
07:40going on and I just want to add about to that but I'm not a like a lot of
07:42things that I can do to help but it's always a lot of things that are
07:45just like a lot of things that I have to be identified for people who have
07:46to tell you guys about the mountain or the mountain or just a lot of things that I
07:50have to tell you about it that I am really a great step in taking a lot of things that I
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