Euphoria - Season 1 Episode 7 - kisskh
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#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00What happens in a month?
00:00:28Six months, a year, when she tells you she just wants to be friends.
00:00:33Nate, why would I do a single thing for you?
00:00:36Because I'll put you in jail.
00:00:38I need you to get in your car and drive down to the East Island Police Station.
00:00:41You're gonna walk up to the receptionist.
00:00:43You're gonna tell her that you'd like to confess to a crime.
00:00:45Do you recognize that man?
00:00:46He's the guy who assaulted me the night of the carnival.
00:00:51Can you please get out of the pool?
00:00:53This whole town is so fucking boring!
00:00:58I'm a burden, and it is what it is, and it's embarrassing.
00:01:03Oh, I'm sorry.
00:01:05No funny business, Christopher!
00:01:12Fuck.
00:01:14Cassie's dad was really handsome.
00:01:32The kind of handsome that made people treat him differently.
00:01:35Her mom used to get really upset at him for flirting.
00:01:44Which wasn't fair.
00:01:48It wasn't his fault.
00:01:50He really loved her.
00:01:52He really loved them all.
00:01:54Her dad always wanted her to become a professional ice skater.
00:02:04Wow!
00:02:05Thank you!
00:02:06Aw, happy birthday, kiddo.
00:02:08And for a while, she thought she might.
00:02:11She was a natural.
00:02:13But her dad couldn't afford lessons, so he stopped encouraging her.
00:02:20When she hit puberty, her mother and her became best friends.
00:02:25You're an angel.
00:02:28I feel like a big baby.
00:02:32Cassie.
00:02:34Woman to woman.
00:02:35Hm?
00:02:36You're perfect.
00:02:38Holy moly, look at you.
00:02:45What?
00:02:47You're gonna be a real heartbreaker.
00:02:51Trust me.
00:02:52And it wasn't just her body that changed.
00:02:54But the rest of the world, too.
00:02:55Remember Uncle Ted?
00:02:56Oh, look at you all grown up.
00:02:59Come on, give me a hug.
00:03:01You're really filled out.
00:03:02Sassy Cassie.
00:03:03Come here.
00:03:04I bet you got all the boys wrapped around your fingers.
00:03:11Their family wasn't perfect.
00:03:15Her mom had, you know, some issues.
00:03:18Oh, my God.
00:03:21And her dad struggled to keep a steady income.
00:03:24And they fought.
00:03:25In the way all parents kind of fight.
00:03:45Except for the night before she started ninth grade.
00:03:48You're a fucking idiot.
00:03:50It's every person.
00:03:52Fuck it.
00:03:54Fuck it.
00:03:56Fuck it.
00:03:57I'm killing you, you motherfucker.
00:03:58Do it.
00:03:59Put me out of my pocket.
00:04:00I'm killing my job.
00:04:05Her mom told her that her dad was just being irrational.
00:04:08Your father had some serious jealousy issues.
00:04:11Let me tell you.
00:04:14Plus, he couldn't hold a steady job to save his life.
00:04:16life. I just think he didn't want the responsibility of being a father. It's too much work.
00:04:26But Cassie had heard differently. My mom said your mom cheated on your dad, and that's why
00:04:31you left. What?
00:04:34At first, she was really angry at her mom. She resented her for being such a hypocrite.
00:04:53But then she realized that her dad wasn't perfect.
00:04:57I don't know if I want to be associated with herpes, but, you know.
00:05:01And her mom wasn't either, and maybe they just weren't right for each other.
00:05:10We used to visit them on weekends.
00:05:17But eventually it became once every couple of weeks.
00:05:23He said he was coming.
00:05:25And then sometimes more than a month would go by.
00:05:31Then one night, he was driving home from work.
00:05:43And was in the ICU for 23 days.
00:05:47The doctors were afraid he'd never walk again.
00:05:49But Cassie knew he was strong, and that he'd get better.
00:06:00He was prescribed fentanyl for pain,
00:06:04promethazine to offset the nausea,
00:06:06liquid lorizopam to sleep, and Nimetrix injections for migraines.
00:06:10Cassie would text him and talk to him.
00:06:24But as more time went by, the less responsive he became.
00:06:28And eventually, months went by, and she didn't hear from him at all.
00:06:31Until one night, a week after her 15th birthday,
00:06:36she got a text from a random number at about 1 in the morning.
00:06:39And even though she was excited to see him and wanted to hug him,
00:07:00there was something about the whole thing that scared her.
00:07:03I want you to know there's never a day that goes by.
00:07:05Don't think about you.
00:07:08The number you texted me from.
00:07:11Can I call you?
00:07:16That's my friend's phone.
00:07:18I promise I'll reach out to you with my new number.
00:07:23Don't cry, baby.
00:07:24I'm okay, I'm fine, don't.
00:07:31I don't know.
00:07:32I just miss you, Dad.
00:07:36I miss you, okay?
00:07:38I love you.
00:07:46He said he needed a few things
00:07:47and made her promise that she wouldn't tell a soul.
00:07:54Cassie kept her promise and never told anyone about that night.
00:08:18She also never saw her dad again.
00:08:19She fell in love with every guy she ever dated.
00:08:26Whether they were smart or stupid or sweet or cruel,
00:08:29it didn't matter.
00:08:47She didn't like to be alone.
00:08:48What are you doing?
00:08:52I'm just filming you.
00:08:55Why?
00:08:56And every guy she ever dated asked for the same things.
00:08:59Can I film you sucking my dick?
00:09:01What? No.
00:09:03It's like a sex tape.
00:09:05Suck.
00:09:07Come on.
00:09:08Get out of here.
00:09:09I don't want that big of a deal.
00:09:10I don't want to do this.
00:09:12And she almost always said yes,
00:09:14even though it didn't always make her feel good.
00:09:16And she knew that most guys,
00:09:21after she broke up with them,
00:09:22would always share those photos or videos.
00:09:26The first time she found out,
00:09:28she had a panic attack
00:09:29and wanted to swallow a whole bottle of Tylenol.
00:09:34But she didn't.
00:09:35Because, I mean,
00:09:36what's the worst thing anybody could say to her?
00:09:37That she gave a blowjob to a guy who didn't deserve it.
00:09:40And she figured by the time she was out of college
00:09:42and looking for a job,
00:09:4399% of the population would have leaked nudes anyway.
00:09:46And then, at the beginning of the year,
00:09:51she met McKay.
00:09:53And fell in love with him.
00:09:55And he fell in love with her.
00:09:57And even though things weren't perfect,
00:09:59he loved her for who she was.
00:10:02And even though she had made a couple of mistakes,
00:10:04I mean, they weren't big ones.
00:10:05They weren't the kind of things you couldn't come back from.
00:10:07But she didn't feel so good.
00:10:12To be in love.
00:10:15When you're in love.
00:10:17Oh, oh.
00:10:21Oh, oh, oh.
00:10:23Oh, oh, oh.
00:10:23Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:10:33Oh, oh, oh.
00:10:35Previously, on Love Island, grab the amazingness that you have with Josh, by the balls.
00:10:54People are always telling me about great TV shows, how I just have to watch this show.
00:10:59But the truth is, I don't want good TV.
00:11:02I don't want a novel or some slow burn or anything that feels like work.
00:11:07That's why I love reality TV.
00:11:09It's funny, it's dramatic, and I can focus on it.
00:11:12It's pure, effortless entertainment.
00:11:21I want to lay down one moment and then look around the next
00:11:27and realize I have watched 22 straight hours of Love Island over a two-day period
00:11:31and yearn for more.
00:11:35Some people may find that depressing.
00:11:39I don't.
00:11:43It is, however, a good way to measure depression.
00:11:46Because when reality TV begins to feel like work,
00:11:49like final season of Mad Men work,
00:11:51you know you're depressed.
00:11:53Like, haven't got out of bed to pee in 24 hours depressed.
00:12:06Do I look different to you?
00:12:11You look fine to me.
00:12:12Because I feel different.
00:12:15Okay, well, you don't look it.
00:12:17I don't think I'm going to go to school today.
00:12:19Because of Daniel?
00:12:21No, not because of Daniel, Lexi.
00:12:24Daniel's the last fucking thing I care about right now.
00:12:27Okay, well, it's all you ever fucking talk about.
00:12:29That's not true.
00:12:30I asked you how I look, not about Daniel.
00:12:32Yeah, well, you look beautiful, Cassie.
00:12:34You look fucking amazing.
00:12:35It's literally all anyone's ever told you your entire life.
00:12:38Like, listen to yourself.
00:12:39It's fucking exhausting.
00:12:40It's fucking exhausting.
00:13:10To stand up, exert 172 muscles each step for 35 feet
00:13:16just so I can sit on cold porcelain
00:13:18and piss out toxins over and over again
00:13:20for the rest of my life
00:13:21makes the whole concept of living feel like
00:13:24one long, sadistic joke.
00:13:28But the absolute worst part of depression
00:13:31is that even though you know you're depressed,
00:13:34you're unable to stop yourself from getting worse.
00:13:37but I wasn't the only one feeling down.
00:13:45Jules, what's wrong?
00:13:48I'm sick.
00:13:50Okay.
00:13:51Let me know if you need anything.
00:13:54After Halloween, Jules didn't go to school
00:13:56for a full week.
00:13:57And even though I sent her about 50 texts,
00:14:04she didn't respond.
00:14:06Happy Halloween.
00:14:08I could tell something bad had happened
00:14:09and that it had something to do with Nate.
00:14:12Tyler Clarkson was booked for assault.
00:14:27But this shit
00:14:28wasn't adding up.
00:14:31And I was putting together
00:14:32the pieces of the puzzle.
00:14:35Howard, let's roll.
00:14:36I wasn't going to stop
00:14:38until I got the truth.
00:14:42False accusations
00:14:43in today's world
00:14:44can cause serious long-term damage
00:14:46to one's career,
00:14:47respiration,
00:14:48and emotional well-being.
00:14:52We all owe Nate Jacobs
00:14:54a heartfelt apology
00:14:55and are excited and thrilled
00:14:57to have her back
00:14:57at East Highland.
00:15:00Why would you decide
00:15:01to help Nate?
00:15:02No, no, no.
00:15:04Have you asked her about it?
00:15:05No.
00:15:06You haven't asked her?
00:15:07No.
00:15:08Keep looking, you mook.
00:15:10I'm Morgan fucking Freeman
00:15:12and this is the beginning
00:15:13of the third act.
00:15:14Well, doesn't that seem
00:15:15like the first logical step?
00:15:19Honestly, Howard,
00:15:20this whole thing
00:15:21is beyond logic.
00:15:23I'm left.
00:15:27Jules is in love with Nate.
00:15:29Why would Jules
00:15:30be in love with Nate?
00:15:32Oh, you should listen to me.
00:15:33Bennett, the cigarettes
00:15:33are killing me.
00:15:34Listen, listen.
00:15:35the night at the carnival
00:15:36she said she wanted
00:15:37to go meet up
00:15:37with this guy she met online.
00:15:38Okay, he's some fucking jock.
00:15:40He's from a conservative family
00:15:41and they were talking
00:15:42and texting.
00:15:43They've been texting
00:15:44for weeks.
00:15:45And when I say texting,
00:15:46I don't just mean
00:15:46regular fucking texting.
00:15:48They were sexting.
00:15:52Like nudes?
00:15:53Yeah.
00:15:54Side note.
00:15:55Very nice dick,
00:15:56very clean room.
00:15:57She never fucking saw his face.
00:16:01Yeah, so Jules was catfished.
00:16:03No, no, hear me out
00:16:04so tonight at the carnival.
00:16:05She made plans with this guy
00:16:06to meet up with him
00:16:07at the lake, okay?
00:16:07I fucking go home.
00:16:08Next thing I know,
00:16:09she's fucking knocking
00:16:10at my window.
00:16:12She's all emotional.
00:16:13She got fucking tears
00:16:13in her eyes.
00:16:14I say, Jules,
00:16:15what the fuck happened?
00:16:17She looks at me.
00:16:18She goes,
00:16:18he didn't look like
00:16:20his pictures.
00:16:23Yeah, that's like
00:16:24the definition of catfishing.
00:16:25But you know
00:16:26what his name was?
00:16:28Nate Jacobs?
00:16:30Tyler.
00:16:33Like Tyler Clarkson?
00:16:38You're goddamn right.
00:16:40Maddie is 17,
00:16:42Tyler's 22,
00:16:43and they fornicated.
00:16:45Statutory.
00:16:46Yeah, you saw it,
00:16:47I saw it,
00:16:47we all fucking saw it.
00:16:48Including Nate.
00:16:49And what is a lighter
00:16:50offense than statutory?
00:16:53Salt.
00:16:54Bingo.
00:16:59Drew,
00:16:59are you pouring coffee
00:17:00in the water filter?
00:17:01Yes, I am.
00:17:02Instead of water?
00:17:03Yes, I am.
00:17:04Well, please,
00:17:04don't do that.
00:17:05And it's late,
00:17:06you shouldn't be drinking
00:17:06caffeine.
00:17:07Mom, please.
00:17:09I have homework.
00:17:11Well, there's a sentence
00:17:12I never thought I'd hear.
00:17:15Will you let me know
00:17:16when this is ready?
00:17:20Hello?
00:17:21Howard, it's Bennett.
00:17:232.45 in the morning,
00:17:24don't you ever sleep.
00:17:25Listen,
00:17:27why would Nate
00:17:27single out Jules
00:17:28in the first place?
00:17:29It's obvious
00:17:30he was sexually
00:17:31attracted to her.
00:17:34And because Jules
00:17:35is predominantly het,
00:17:37okay,
00:17:37he wooed her
00:17:38with his fucking
00:17:39creepy jock magic shit.
00:17:40She's super fucking
00:17:41sensitive,
00:17:42she's very forgiving,
00:17:43and she's basically
00:17:43the most wonderful
00:17:44fucking person
00:17:45on the planet.
00:17:47She fell for him.
00:17:48That's why she
00:17:49fucking testified.
00:17:52I'm a genius.
00:17:53I'm a fucking genius.
00:17:54Hey, Mom!
00:17:55I'm a fucking genius!
00:17:58I'm not even tired.
00:17:59It's crazy.
00:18:00I'm not even fucking tired.
00:18:01I feel amazing.
00:18:02I'll be honest
00:18:03with you, Bennett.
00:18:05You're too close
00:18:06to this case.
00:18:18Who was that?
00:18:20Rue.
00:18:21I think she's
00:18:23in, like,
00:18:23a manic state.
00:18:25Is she okay?
00:18:28I don't think so.
00:18:32I don't know
00:18:57what you're gonna say,
00:18:57but this feels, like,
00:18:59really dramatic.
00:18:59Yeah, this is spooky.
00:19:03It's not spooky, BB.
00:19:06Just,
00:19:07I need your advice
00:19:08on, like, two things.
00:19:10And I need you guys
00:19:11to promise me
00:19:12not to say
00:19:12a single fucking word.
00:19:17So,
00:19:18the night of Daniel's
00:19:19Halloween party,
00:19:21something happened.
00:19:22I don't usually
00:19:35come that fast.
00:19:39That was amazing.
00:19:42It's funny,
00:19:43I always thought
00:19:43I was gonna lose
00:19:44my virginity to you.
00:19:45You're a virgin?
00:19:51No, I mean,
00:19:52we were younger
00:19:53when we dated.
00:19:56We dated?
00:19:59Yeah, in sixth grade.
00:20:03You and me?
00:20:04Yeah, for, like,
00:20:07five months.
00:20:10Oh.
00:20:12I literally
00:20:13have no recollection
00:20:13of that.
00:20:20Wait,
00:20:21am I hearing
00:20:21this correctly?
00:20:22You wanna tell
00:20:23McKay that you
00:20:24made out with Daniel
00:20:25at the carnival
00:20:25and on Halloween?
00:20:27Yeah, but I don't,
00:20:27I don't have to say
00:20:28it's Daniel.
00:20:29Bitch, that's the craziest
00:20:30idea I've ever heard,
00:20:31right?
00:20:31For sure.
00:20:32Yeah, but I wanna
00:20:33be honest with him.
00:20:37You cannot tell McKay.
00:20:39No, it's not like
00:20:40I cheated, cheated.
00:20:41Kissing is worse.
00:20:42It's so much
00:20:43more intimate
00:20:44and if anybody
00:20:45brings it up,
00:20:45you deny, deny, deny.
00:20:47Okay, but I just,
00:20:48I don't want there
00:20:49to be something
00:20:49that's about
00:20:50between us forever.
00:20:51I wouldn't worry
00:20:51about it, Cassie.
00:20:52It's not like
00:20:52you guys are gonna
00:20:53be together forever.
00:20:54Kat, what the fuck
00:20:55is your problem?
00:20:57You're being a bad
00:20:57friend now.
00:20:58You are a bad
00:20:58friend to me
00:20:59and this whole new
00:21:00personality is
00:21:00seriously unlikable.
00:21:02World star.
00:21:04Why?
00:21:04Because I won't
00:21:04sit and listen
00:21:05to you bitch
00:21:05and moan
00:21:05about your psychotic
00:21:06abusive boyfriend
00:21:07who you've literally
00:21:08broken up with
00:21:09a thousand times?
00:21:10It was literally
00:21:11the lowest point
00:21:12in my life,
00:21:12so yeah,
00:21:13that and the fact
00:21:13that you're just
00:21:14fucking mean.
00:21:15Maddie,
00:21:15ever since I've met
00:21:16you,
00:21:16all you talk about
00:21:17is yourself,
00:21:18your clothes,
00:21:18your boyfriends,
00:21:19whatever superficial shit
00:21:20you think is so
00:21:20fucking important.
00:21:22Sorry,
00:21:22I'm no longer
00:21:22interested.
00:21:23I don't know
00:21:24about everyone else,
00:21:24but I miss the
00:21:25old cat.
00:21:26You know,
00:21:26the one who had
00:21:27a sense of humor
00:21:28and wasn't a
00:21:28fucking cunt?
00:21:30Damn.
00:21:31Damn.
00:21:31I don't know.
00:22:01What was the other thing?
00:22:08What other thing?
00:22:10You said you needed advice on two things.
00:22:14I don't remember.
00:22:17What would you do?
00:22:20Um, I don't know.
00:22:23I've never really been in the situation where two guys have been interested in me.
00:22:27That's because you're shy.
00:22:28I guess so, but I've also never been in the situation where I've been interested in two guys.
00:22:36It's also because you're shy.
00:22:38Maybe.
00:22:41If you were in my situation, what would you do?
00:22:43Honestly, I don't think I would say anything.
00:22:52What if not saying something made you feel really bad?
00:22:57Worse than saying it?
00:23:00Yeah.
00:23:00Well, then, I don't think you have any other option.
00:23:07How are you feeling?
00:23:26I think I have the flu or something.
00:23:28You want me to get you something?
00:23:31Like, something to drink or something?
00:23:33Oh, no, I'm good.
00:23:40Are you sure you got the flu, Ro?
00:23:44Okay, right now, I just need you to leave me the fuck alone, alright?
00:23:46I just need you to leave me the fuck alone.
00:24:00Previously?!
00:24:01Look, Nate, we all make mistakes in life.
00:24:14We hurt the ones we love.
00:24:15We let down our friends, our family.
00:24:19Sometimes we do it out of ignorance.
00:24:21Sometimes it's selfishness.
00:24:25I am not perfect.
00:24:28You know that.
00:24:29But I've spent my life trying to do better.
00:24:33You have not.
00:24:36But it is my wish for you.
00:24:40I don't know how you got out of this situation.
00:24:43I know you didn't deserve to.
00:24:45But you did.
00:24:47And I admire whatever it took.
00:24:50I just hope it didn't teach you the wrong lesson.
00:24:59I've been in the friend zone area for so long now.
00:25:12And then finally, Sam's come along.
00:25:15And I'm actually...
00:25:15Okay, this is going to sound sick because I'm actually in a lot of pain right now due to the
00:25:20sheer weight and strain on my bladder.
00:25:23But man, does this make me miss opiates.
00:25:28Because your bladder is trained from a very early age not to pee whenever it wants to,
00:25:33it needs permission from your brain.
00:25:34And when you're really high, your brain gets a little lazy.
00:25:38Too lazy to say something.
00:25:41Come on, brain.
00:25:44Come on, please.
00:25:45It's probably why so many drug addicts die on toilets.
00:25:51The truth is, the last time I left this room, I didn't have the best experience.
00:25:59Sleeping all day?
00:26:25That's quite the life.
00:26:28Meet Rick.
00:26:29My mom's new boyfriend.
00:26:32If you were to ask Rick to describe himself, he'd say he was...
00:26:36A romantic at heart.
00:26:38I'm adventurous.
00:26:39I love to travel.
00:26:41I love the outdoors.
00:26:43Great art.
00:26:45Great movies.
00:26:46Great wine.
00:26:47Forever young.
00:26:55I'm sorry.
00:26:56I'm sorry.
00:26:58Oh.
00:26:58I miss your dad.
00:27:02Me too.
00:27:03So, enter Rick.
00:27:07So, your mom tells me that you have a new, uh, best friend.
00:27:14What is that supposed to mean?
00:27:19That, you know, you got a new best friend.
00:27:28You know what, Rick?
00:27:29Rick, why don't you go fuck yourself?
00:27:33How dare you speak to someone like that?
00:27:36Who?
00:27:37Rick, don't be a smartass.
00:27:39Did I offend you?
00:27:40Apologize right now.
00:27:42In retrospect, I was a little cunty.
00:27:44But Rick does suck, and I was angry.
00:27:47For a lot of reasons.
00:27:49Rick, I sincerely apologize for telling you to go fuck yourself.
00:27:53What I really meant to say is that my mom can do better, and I hate seeing you sit in the chair.
00:27:59My dad said, I don't know.
00:28:00I don't know.
00:28:01I don't know.
00:28:02I don't know.
00:28:03I don't know.
00:28:04I don't know.
00:28:05I don't know.
00:28:06I don't know.
00:28:07I don't know.
00:28:08I don't know.
00:28:09I don't know.
00:28:10I don't know.
00:28:11I don't know.
00:28:12I don't know.
00:28:13I don't know.
00:28:14I don't know.
00:28:15I don't know.
00:28:16I don't know.
00:28:17I don't know.
00:28:18I don't know.
00:28:19If I am bipolar...
00:28:49I sure as shit prefer mania over depression.
00:28:56Yo, Fez.
00:28:57So you know how in every 90s thriller, right,
00:28:59Morgan Freeman plays like the same semi-psychic black cop?
00:29:03Yeah.
00:29:04So I know that's kind of racist,
00:29:05but the point is, in every movie,
00:29:07he's always calmly putting the fucking pieces of the case together
00:29:10while everybody else around him is fucking freaking out,
00:29:12saying, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Morgan.
00:29:14You're a fucking bad husband.
00:29:16You should fucking retire.
00:29:18But no.
00:29:19Morgan is fucking hyper-focused
00:29:21because he can see beyond the little details.
00:29:25He's looking for the big fucking picture
00:29:26because all of this shit, it's connected, Fez.
00:29:30And it is way bigger than any of us can even fucking see.
00:29:37The point is, that's me.
00:29:39Right now, that is fucking me.
00:29:42I can see everything so fucking clearly.
00:29:46I know what happened, I know why it happened,
00:29:48and I know what the fuck I'm gonna do about it.
00:29:53Word.
00:29:54Word.
00:29:54She can't hear me, right?
00:29:58She can't see you either.
00:30:00Okay, good, because this is, like, some real top-secret shit.
00:30:04Trust me, Rue.
00:30:05She not gonna gossip.
00:30:09Okay.
00:30:11Do you still have that gun?
00:30:13What gun?
00:30:13The one from the couch.
00:30:18I mean, I got a couple guns.
00:30:21Why do you have so many guns?
00:30:23My grandma.
00:30:28That's cool.
00:30:29What you worried about my guns for?
00:30:31Okay, well, I was thinking
00:30:36that maybe you could use one to scare Nate Jacobs.
00:30:44Are you serious?
00:30:46I mean, I'm not, not serious.
00:30:50Rue, that must be the dumbest shit you said all fucking day.
00:30:54You don't have to fucking point it at him.
00:30:56You could just, you could, like, you could flash it.
00:31:00You really have lost your fucking mind, Rue.
00:31:03Fuck, I don't know.
00:31:04It's a bad fucking idea, okay?
00:31:05I just fucking spitballing here.
00:31:10I mean, he fucked with me, he fucked with Jules,
00:31:12and I want fucking revenge, okay?
00:31:15Sorry.
00:31:21Fuck, Mouse is here.
00:31:23The guy, what's up?
00:31:24All right, so stay in here, be quiet.
00:31:27Fez, I can't, I can't stay in here.
00:31:28Like, I'm really, I'm not going to be awkward.
00:31:30Be quiet, listen, I'm really serious right now.
00:31:33You just need to sit your manic ass down
00:31:35and be quiet for five fucking minutes, Rue.
00:31:38I'm not fucking playing with you.
00:31:40Sit down and shut the fuck up.
00:31:42You just need to sit down and be quiet.
00:32:00Okay.
00:32:02We're fucking out here.
00:32:03Psst. Psst. Psst. Yo, Rue. Rue. Rue, I'm so lonely.
00:32:31Me, too. Don't forget about me.
00:32:34That old lady, she doesn't even know we exist.
00:32:38Rue. Rue.
00:32:40Eat us. All.
00:32:43Eat us. All. Eat us. All. Eat us. All. Eat us. All. Eat us. All.
00:32:54Yo, I'm gonna need you to stop moving some weight.
00:32:58Yo, I'm just trying to keep it low-key over here, man.
00:33:01I'm trying to make fucking money.
00:33:03Even if I wanted all this shit, bruh. I don't got the money for all this, man.
00:33:08That's why you ain't lucky. I'm gonna fund it to you.
00:33:11Ten percent on the vague. I'm collecting a month.
00:33:16I'm not trying to do all that shit, man.
00:33:19I ain't asking, bruh. Step your shit up.
00:33:24Step your get up.
00:33:291, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
00:34:10The other thing about depression is it kind of collapses time.
00:34:17Bro, are you listening?
00:34:21Suddenly, you find your whole days blending together to create one endless and suffocating loop.
00:34:36So you find yourself trying to remember the things that made you happy.
00:34:40Do we get closer?
00:34:47But slowly, your brain begins to erase every memory that ever brought you joy.
00:34:52And eventually, all you can think about is how life has always been this way.
00:35:04And we'll only continue to be this way.
00:35:17Previously, on Love Island...
00:35:21Grab the amazingness that you have with Josh by the balls.
00:35:24I wonder if Jules is having fun.
00:35:26I don't want to kid around like a man who's dying.
00:35:39Grinning at the end, wondering if he'll always be mine.
00:35:43I don't want to spite God, but I can't feel in fear.
00:35:54I just want you for it.
00:35:56I'm hungry, you're here.
00:35:58I'm hungry, you're here.
00:36:00So how are the suburbs treating you?
00:36:04They're claustrophobic.
00:36:05Yeah, how do you like it?
00:36:07How you doing?
00:36:08I don't know, it's been a weird, weird-ass year.
00:36:12Weird in what way?
00:36:14Weird in every way.
00:36:17Shit.
00:36:18You make some of your friends at least?
00:36:20Yeah, I got one.
00:36:21Yeah.
00:36:22But it's like, complicated.
00:36:24Well, are you friends or are you a little bit of a special kind of friend?
00:36:32Both?
00:36:33I guess.
00:36:34Yeah.
00:36:35Okay, what are you in love with him or something?
00:36:37Her.
00:36:38Not him.
00:36:39Ooh, a little plot twist, okay.
00:36:41No room for heteronormativity in here.
00:36:43Oh my god.
00:36:44So?
00:36:45What?
00:36:46I don't know, I don't know what it is.
00:36:49It's not, like, great right now.
00:36:52I'm not exactly, like, in the best place.
00:36:58Why, what's going on?
00:37:02I came here so I wouldn't have to think about it.
00:37:08Understood.
00:37:09What the fuck, what the fuck?
00:37:14I feel the morning on my face Ain't a pill that I didn't take
00:37:30Just a lifetime cause it's been a long day Cause I'm asleep when I'm on the right bed
00:37:42What the fuck?
00:37:44I found this.
00:37:45What the fuck?
00:37:47What the fuck?
00:37:49What the fuck?
00:37:50This one?
00:37:51You want one more or one more?
00:37:52How much?
00:37:53Oh, no, no, no.
00:37:54What the fuck?
00:37:55I like it.
00:37:56What the fuck?
00:37:59I love it.
00:38:00What the fuck?
00:38:01Hey.
00:38:02Anna.
00:38:03Yeah, Anna.
00:38:05Oh, no.
00:38:06You know what I am?
00:38:07I love it.
00:38:08What is it?
00:38:09You know what I am?
00:38:10Hey, Anna. Someone I want you to meet.
00:38:14Hi. I'm Jewel.
00:38:18I know. You like it?
00:38:22Did y'all make these? Our friend did.
00:38:26I mean, are you guys gonna go out? Oh, Anna's always trying to put
00:38:30makeup on me. So awkward.
00:38:40I remember walking out of Sears with my first pair of Heelts
00:38:44in my backpack. Cute. And my heart was
00:38:48fucking racing. And I got home. I went straight to
00:38:52my room. Locked the door. Put him on.
00:38:56And I just felt like
00:39:00I was collecting herbs or
00:39:04making potions in order to up my mana, you know?
00:39:10Like, it started with that and then
00:39:12it was clothes and then it was
00:39:14makeup and
00:39:16eventually hormones.
00:39:18Um,
00:39:20I just kind of kept leveling up.
00:39:22So,
00:39:24what level are you at now?
00:39:26I don't know.
00:39:28But I definitely
00:39:30haven't reached my full
00:39:32power.
00:39:34But you date guys,
00:39:38date isn't really the right word.
00:39:42What she means to say is that she's a slut.
00:39:44Fuck you.
00:39:46What? It's not an insult.
00:39:48I mean...
00:39:50But you normally hook up with guys.
00:39:52Yeah, but
00:39:54my relationship to men is
00:39:56weird.
00:39:58Like how?
00:40:00It's like...
00:40:04If I can conquer men,
00:40:06then I can conquer...
00:40:08femininity.
00:40:10Why do you need a guy
00:40:12to make you feel more feminine?
00:40:16Hmm?
00:40:18We'll circle back to that one.
00:40:26So have you?
00:40:28Have I what?
00:40:30Conquered femininity.
00:40:32I don't know.
00:40:34But it's not like I even
00:40:36wanna conquer it.
00:40:38It's like I wanna
00:40:40fucking obliterate it and then
00:40:42move on to the next level.
00:40:44And the next...
00:40:46And the next...
00:40:48Level up.
00:40:50Level up.
00:40:52Yeah, I don't really know what that means
00:40:54or looks like, but...
00:40:56I want it.
00:40:58Queerness is infinite.
00:41:00Okay.
00:41:02Look at me.
00:41:04Yeah.
00:41:06You look adorable.
00:41:08Stop.
00:41:14I'm pregnant.
00:41:18What?
00:41:20Are you for real like you're 100% pregnant?
00:41:26Yeah.
00:41:30I'm sorry, uh, are you alright?
00:41:50Yeah, I'm just a little bit nervous.
00:41:55Nervous about what?
00:41:56About what you're gonna say?
00:42:07You're not really thinking about having this kid, are you?
00:42:14I really love you, McKay.
00:42:17Yeah, I love you too, but I'm doing a lot of shit right now.
00:42:21I'm in the middle of school right now.
00:42:24It's a big fucking responsibility, Cassie.
00:42:26What if this is what I'm supposed to do with my life?
00:42:37What the fuck?
00:42:39My parents are gonna kill me.
00:42:41My coach is gonna kill me.
00:42:42My parents are gonna fucking kill me.
00:42:45Fuck.
00:42:49Cass, I don't even think you want to have this baby, okay?
00:42:52It's not a fucking fairytale.
00:42:54Like, this may seem all cute and cuddly to you, but this is real shit.
00:42:59I'm not even ready to be a dad.
00:43:00I don't know if that's selfish to say or whatever, but children are fucking scary.
00:43:09You want to talk about it?
00:43:10So here we are, we're talking about it.
00:43:11But I say we don't do it.
00:43:12I'm not saying I'm gonna have a baby.
00:43:22I just wanted to dream about it for a minute.
00:43:25You're gonna make the best mother on the planet one day.
00:43:53I say that without a doubt.
00:44:07Hello?
00:44:09Good evening.
00:44:12For some reason, your screen is black.
00:44:14Should I call you back?
00:44:15I might prefer to keep it that way.
00:44:18Oh, okay.
00:44:19Can you drive behind the bar?
00:44:22Yeah, well, the girl's gotta eat.
00:44:24Three hundred for thirty minutes?
00:44:26You should've asked for more.
00:44:28Really?
00:44:29Let me see your whole body.
00:44:33Stand up.
00:44:42Okay.
00:44:45Keep going.
00:44:48More.
00:44:49I mean, I don't usually, um, I'm dressed.
00:45:11But I'm special.
00:45:14Right?
00:45:19Yes.
00:45:22Then see it.
00:45:26You're special.
00:45:28So, get undressed.
00:45:31I don't care.
00:45:44I don't know.
00:45:49You're...
00:45:49You're...
00:45:49I don't...
00:45:50You're...
00:45:51I don't know.
00:45:54I don't...
00:45:56IT'S NOT BEING
00:45:59IT'S NOT BEING
00:46:01YOU CAN'T NEED
00:46:05A BIT
00:46:06BOO BIT
00:46:07BOO BIT
00:46:08WE ON THE MOON BIT
00:46:09READY SAID GO
00:46:10READY SAID GO
00:46:11READY SAID GO
00:46:13AIN'T FOR THE STARS
00:46:14IF WE MISS
00:46:15WE GO IN THE MOON BIT
00:46:16READY SAID GO
00:46:17READY SAID GO
00:46:18READY
00:46:19CAN YOU GET ME A MANGO LACOIS?
00:46:23HUH?
00:46:24AND THOSE CHERRY ROLLING PAPERS?
00:46:26Any else?
00:46:38What up, Feb?
00:46:40What's up, man?
00:46:41Yo, can I get two of the rolling papers too, bro?
00:46:46Yo, man.
00:46:48I don't know what's been going on with you ruining jewels and shit.
00:46:52But you should know.
00:46:54I really do care about her.
00:47:01Aren't you like a drug dealer?
00:47:03Nah, man.
00:47:07What, you in a relationship?
00:47:11Nah, bro, that's like my family.
00:47:13So what's platonic?
00:47:15Look, man.
00:47:17All I'm saying is leave her and her friends alone.
00:47:21To the threat.
00:47:26Nah, I'm just telling you.
00:47:29Or what?
00:47:31You're not gonna be having this conversation.
00:47:33At least, then.
00:47:44Fesco, let's get this straight.
00:47:47You're like half a retard.
00:47:49You dropped out of school at 20, and now you're a gangster.
00:47:52Are you like fucking Tony Montana?
00:47:55What's the plan?
00:47:56Hmm?
00:47:57Gonna be living in a mansion?
00:47:58Fucking pet tigers and shit?
00:48:02Go fuck yourself.
00:48:05Listen, bruh.
00:48:09All I'm saying, you keep fucking with Rue and her friends,
00:48:11and I'm gonna kill you.
00:48:18This is gonna be 575, Playboy.
00:48:19An adult bladder can hold two cups of urine.
00:48:40But if you're telling your bladder to hold off, because, say, you're in the worst depression of your fucking life, your bladder will eventually fill.
00:48:52And what begins to happen is, all of the toxins that your kidneys have pushed into your bladder begin to travel back into your kidneys.
00:49:01I know what you're thinking.
00:49:10Rue, this is insane.
00:49:11Don't get a kidney infection, walk to the bathroom.
00:49:15Trust me.
00:49:17I'm thinking the same fucking thing.
00:49:22Fuck!
00:49:23It's like a little pie.
00:49:24Fuck!
00:49:25Fuck!
00:49:27Ah!
00:49:29Oh my god!
00:49:31What?
00:49:33Ah!
00:49:35Aah!
00:49:41Oh!
00:49:46Oh, no!
00:49:49Oh!
00:49:52I don't want you to do it!
00:49:54I don't want you to do it!
00:49:56See you!
00:50:22You remind me of her.
00:50:34Who?
00:50:36My best friend.
00:50:38So what's she like?
00:50:40Honestly?
00:50:42Kind of a mess.
00:50:44I'm a mess?
00:50:46Yeah.
00:50:48How am I a mess?
00:50:50I don't know yet.
00:51:02I think I'm really high.
00:51:08Should I text her?
00:51:10No.
00:51:20You only get one more.
00:51:32You only get one more.
00:51:34No!
00:51:36No!
00:51:38No!
00:51:40No!
00:51:42No!
00:51:44No!
00:51:46No!
00:51:48No!
00:51:50No!
00:51:52No!
00:51:54No!
00:51:56No!
00:51:58No!
00:52:00No!
00:52:02No!
00:52:04No!
00:52:06No!
00:52:08No!
00:52:10No!
00:52:11No!
00:52:12No!
00:52:13No!
00:52:14No!
00:52:15No!
00:52:16No!
00:52:17No!
00:52:18No!
00:52:19No!
00:52:20No!
00:52:21No!
00:52:22No!
00:52:23No!
00:52:24No!
00:52:25No!
00:52:26No!
00:52:27No!
00:52:28No!
00:52:29No!
00:52:30No!
00:52:31No!
00:52:32No!
00:52:33No!
00:52:34Did you not want me to come?
00:52:38You're here alone?
00:52:45No, no, no, no, no.
00:52:53I'm scared of my name.
00:52:55I'm sorry for everything.
00:52:59I'm sorry for hurting you.
00:53:01You, you were the most beautiful person I've ever known.
00:53:08I'm Tyler.
00:53:11I'm the person that you fell in love with.
00:53:15I want to kill you.
00:53:17I'm yours. I'm all yours.
00:53:32You're a pussy.
00:53:35You're a bitch.
00:53:40And I wish the whole fucking world could know.
00:54:01You thought this isn't going to end well.
00:54:09You thought this isn't going to end well.
00:54:32Hello?
00:54:35Yeah, I'd like to report a crime.
00:54:52Mom?
00:54:53I think I need your help.
00:54:58I think I need your help.
00:54:59Mom?
00:55:00Mom?
00:55:01Mom?
00:55:02Mom?
00:55:03Mom?
00:55:04Mom?
00:55:05Mom, Mom.
00:55:06Mom.
00:55:07Mom.
00:55:08I'm sorry, dude.
00:55:09Mom, I'm sorry.
00:55:12Mom, I'm sorry.
00:55:14Mom, I'm sorry.
00:55:16Mom, Mom, Mom.
00:55:18I'm here.
00:55:19It's okay.
00:55:20It's okay.
00:55:21I love you so much.
00:55:22I love you so much.
00:55:24I'm so scared.
00:55:25What the fuck, man?
00:55:52Come on, bro.
00:55:53Hurry up.
00:55:54For real, man.
00:55:55Huh?
00:55:56God.
00:56:00God damn it.
00:56:10Bru, what's wrong?
00:56:19OK, baby.
00:56:20Come on.
00:56:21Come on.
00:56:22Come on.
00:56:22Come on.
00:56:25I had a therapist once who said that these states will wax and wane, which gave my mother
00:56:30relief because it meant that in bad times, there would be good times.
00:56:34But it also gave her anxiety because it meant that in the good times there would be bad
00:56:43times.
00:56:44It always confused me because I didn't really know what it meant.
00:56:48It's OK, but it did sound a lot calmer than the way I would describe it.
00:56:57I think I need to go back on medication.
00:57:10I know you're feeling alone right now, baby.
00:57:18But the fact that you didn't turn back means you're getting better.
00:57:31It does.
00:57:39It does.
00:57:40It does.
00:57:43It does.
00:57:49Granted, I didn't realize until later what waxing and waning implied, that these feelings
00:57:55were fixed and constant and would never end for the rest of my life.
00:57:59It does.
00:58:16It does.
00:58:34Every single night I endure the flight
00:58:55With little wings of white flame
00:58:57Butterflies in my brain
00:58:59These ideas of mine
00:59:00Percolate the mind
00:59:02Trickle down my spine
00:59:04Swole my belly
00:59:05Swelling to a blaze
00:59:07That's where the pain comes in
00:59:09Like a second skeleton
00:59:13Trying to fit beneath the skin
00:59:17I can't fit the fields in
00:59:21Oh, every single night's a light
00:59:24With my brain
00:59:26Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
00:59:32What'd I say to her
00:59:35What'd I say to her
00:59:37What does she think of me
00:59:38I don't know what I ought to be
00:59:40What I'm what I try not to be
00:59:42It's got to be somebody else's
00:59:45But I can't get caught
00:59:47If what I am is what I am
00:59:50Cause I does what I does
00:59:51Then brother get back cause my breath's gonna bust open
00:59:55The rib is the shell and the heart is the yolk
00:59:59And I just made a meal for us both to choke on
01:00:03Every single night's a fight with my friends
01:00:09I just wanna be
01:00:20I just wanna be
01:00:27Everything
01:00:29Everything
01:00:31I just wanna be
01:00:35Everything
01:00:37Everything
01:00:41Everything
01:00:43Last night, I couldn't stop thinking about the day you were born.
01:00:53What if I heard a voice?
01:00:57Some narrator who said,
01:00:59here's what's going to happen.
01:01:03Ah, doing it all for love.
01:01:09Doing it all.
01:01:12Doing it all for love.
01:01:19Find me if I want.
01:01:22I'm going to disappear.
01:01:24Obviously, there's something wrong with her.
01:01:27Stop. Stop.
01:01:28Did all this happen because I left?
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