- 6 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I'm flying the space shuttle for the second time, and this guy passes out.
00:00:03All right, it's about that time.
00:00:05So, are you kissing anybody at midnight?
00:00:14Yeah, him.
00:00:17Hi!
00:00:18Just pay him out.
00:00:19Six, five, four, three, two, one!
00:00:25Hey!
00:00:30You have a cute scar.
00:00:50It's just my birthmark.
00:00:53Do you want me to stop? Tell me now.
00:00:57I don't want you to stop.
00:01:00I don't want you to montrealize.
00:01:29I was so drunk last night. I can't remember who I was with.
00:01:37I must return this to her so I can see her again.
00:01:45Happy New Year.
00:01:47Sam, it's me. Hey, find me the girl from last night. I don't care how. Just do it.
00:01:53I will find you.
00:01:54Maximus, can't you get married already? Bring home a wife or at least a girlfriend?
00:02:06I need grandkids. I need you to...
00:02:08Message received, Mom. I need to go now. I have to inspect the new headquarters.
00:02:21Seven years. Why can't I ever find you?
00:02:25Why do you still haunt me?
00:02:34Still thinking about that girl? Boss, it's been years.
00:02:41I'm ready to go to the inspection now.
00:02:43Your vest, sir.
00:02:45But first, we found your fake Christmas wife. She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:02:49Blonde hair, red top.
00:02:50And, sir, make sure you use an alias.
00:02:53We can't have her know you the Harrison Group CEO or she'll jack up the price.
00:02:56Good.
00:02:57Finally, I can get my mother off my back.
00:03:02Hi.
00:03:03One iced vanilla latte, please.
00:03:05And one hot chocolate.
00:03:08I can't wait to finally meet my new daddy.
00:03:10Now, Auntie Debra and Pamela can't say I have no daddy anymore.
00:03:16Sweetie, remember, it's just pretend.
00:03:18It's just for Christmas.
00:03:20But, Mommy, why do we have to rent a daddy?
00:03:23Where's my real one?
00:03:24I'll tell you when you're older.
00:03:33Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:03:34Sweetie, why don't you go find us a table?
00:04:04I asked the agency for an average-looking guy.
00:04:15He's gorgeous.
00:04:21Why does she feel so familiar?
00:04:25She's waiting in the coffee shop.
00:04:27Blonde hair, red top.
00:04:28You must be my new Christmas husband.
00:04:31So, you're my new Christmas wife?
00:04:34See, I knew you were the new daddy we had, right?
00:04:36Hi, my name's Hyper.
00:04:37What's your name?
00:04:39Sam didn't say anything about a kid.
00:04:41Max, Aurelius.
00:04:43Eva.
00:04:44I think we should probably sit and discuss the details of this fake marriage.
00:04:49I just need a wife for the holidays.
00:04:52I guess Mom gets her grandkid, too.
00:04:53So, per our agreement, the rate is $1,000 per hour, and...
00:05:01$1,000 an hour?
00:05:02Well, yeah.
00:05:04It's $500 a day.
00:05:06Is that enough?
00:05:07That's the most that I can pay you.
00:05:09Wait, you're paying me $500 a day?
00:05:11That's what I agreed with the agency.
00:05:13You'll make your thousands over the week.
00:05:15Look, my requirements are simple, okay?
00:05:17Play my pretend husband, come with me to my hometown, and we all pretend to be one big happy family.
00:05:23And then my family will get off my back, so Piper can have a good Christmas for once.
00:05:27So, she's getting pressure from the folks, too.
00:05:32Fine.
00:05:33But you have to help me get my mom off my case, too.
00:05:38Okay.
00:05:39Deal.
00:05:42Ready to go get married?
00:05:43Oh, clean up nice.
00:06:00This is my wedding day, after all.
00:06:01Pictures.
00:06:02You guys are supposed to look like you're in love.
00:06:13Okay, I think we got it.
00:06:38Oh, I need some photos of us together, too.
00:06:41To prove to my parents that I'm actually married and have a happy family.
00:06:45Yeah, of course.
00:06:56Happy holidays, Mom.
00:06:59From my family to you.
00:07:08Bad news, boss.
00:07:10The agency said that the girl that they recruited to be your fake wife, bailed last minute.
00:07:14Wait, she bailed?
00:07:16Then who is...
00:07:18Who is she?
00:07:21Whatever.
00:07:23It doesn't matter.
00:07:24I've got what I need.
00:07:28Sam, don't worry about it.
00:07:30I already found someone.
00:07:30Okay, well, I think it's time for us to go.
00:07:39Christmas shopping waits for no one.
00:07:41Christmas shopping?
00:07:42I should come.
00:07:44Look, if you want me to be the husband in this fake it to your family plan,
00:07:47I think I should have some say in the gifts.
00:07:50It will make it more believable.
00:07:51Fine.
00:07:55Yeah, fine.
00:07:56Okay.
00:07:57You can come.
00:08:05Let's go.
00:08:06Which mall are we going to?
00:08:08Um, let's go to the bathroom.
00:08:10Oh, let's go to the bank.
00:08:11What the actual fuck?
00:08:22Sam, is Maximus pulling another one of his goddamn elaborate pranks again?
00:08:27Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:08:34She does kind of look like him.
00:08:35So when we give these gifts to my parents, we will say they're from you.
00:08:44Here, let me get this.
00:08:46I'm going to love you, Max.
00:08:49Oh, so I was thinking that since we're married, we should probably kiss once or twice in front of them.
00:09:01Okay.
00:09:02Should we use our tongues or?
00:09:04No, no, definitely not.
00:09:05And absolutely no...
00:09:07Sex?
00:09:08Yes.
00:09:10Strictly business.
00:09:12Anything physical outside of that is not happening.
00:09:15What?
00:09:16Afraid you'll fall for me?
00:09:19I just don't want Piper to have messy complications getting in the way of her having a good Christmas.
00:09:25Let's go.
00:09:32Here.
00:09:33What are you doing?
00:09:34I'd never let my woman pick up the tab.
00:09:39Well, I'm not your woman, and this isn't a real relationship, and I don't want your money.
00:09:43Attention shoppers, all bakery items are now 50% off.
00:09:4850% off pies.
00:09:50Quick, go grab a dozen pumpkin pies.
00:09:5212 pumpkin pies.
00:09:53Did I hear this right?
00:09:53They're the best kind.
00:09:55Hurry up and go.
00:09:56Go.
00:09:56What are you standing here for?
00:09:57Hello there.
00:10:00Hi.
00:10:00You ready?
00:10:01Yes.
00:10:01Yeah, just these things.
00:10:02Okay, great.
00:10:04We have a holiday special today.
00:10:06Spend $500, get 10% off, and you are just short $15 if you want to take advantage of the deal.
00:10:12Oh, great.
00:10:13Yeah.
00:10:13What do you have that's just $15?
00:10:15Will you get a move on?
00:10:17I just got here.
00:10:19Relax.
00:10:20Yeah, yeah.
00:10:23Here, this will do the trick.
00:10:25Okay, thank you.
00:10:28Hurry up and pay.
00:10:29I will pay when I'm ready.
00:10:34You can wait your turn.
00:10:40Damn, my fake wife has some fire in her.
00:10:48Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:49Not the pies.
00:10:49Not the pies.
00:10:51You can just set those on top.
00:10:57Hi, guys.
00:10:57I'm going to hand you all these pies.
00:11:04Of quarters.
00:11:06Thank you so much.
00:11:07Of course.
00:11:08I hope you like pumpkin.
00:11:10She bought all 12 pies.
00:11:12Don't worry.
00:11:12I have enough for everybody.
00:11:13Just to give it away.
00:11:16Merry Christmas.
00:11:17Merry Christmas.
00:11:23What?
00:11:24Do you do that often?
00:11:26As often as I can.
00:11:27We should go.
00:11:32We got to pick up paper.
00:11:37Watch out.
00:11:37You done feeling me up?
00:11:59Shut up.
00:12:00Oh, sorry.
00:12:01I was just in character, wifey.
00:12:03Well, stay out of character until Christmas.
00:12:10And don't be late.
00:12:11Harrison Group?
00:12:23Do you do construction for them or something?
00:12:27Sort of.
00:12:28Not that I'm judging.
00:12:29I just need to get my story straight or my mom will eat both of us alive.
00:12:33Why don't we say that you do mid-level management for Harrison Group?
00:12:38I think that's respectable.
00:12:40Can we pick another company?
00:12:42No.
00:12:43Harrison Group is perfect.
00:12:45And they'll find it impressive.
00:12:46My cousin's husband works for them, too.
00:12:48So, it's perfect.
00:12:49Oh, and, uh, wear something nice for Christmas dinner.
00:12:57Don't worry.
00:12:58Okay, I clean up nicely.
00:12:59I wouldn't embarrass you.
00:13:03Too much.
00:13:04Let's go, Sam.
00:13:25It's time to check out the new HQ site.
00:13:28Hold on, you're covered in water and you have a hair on your shoulder and it's not yours.
00:13:32It's my daughter's.
00:13:35Daughter's.
00:13:37Give me a DNA test for that little girl that he's with.
00:13:54Hey, there they are!
00:13:57Nice making!
00:14:00Dad.
00:14:00Aren't you made it?
00:14:01Oh, I missed you.
00:14:03So, where's this mysterious husband we heard all about?
00:14:07He's coming.
00:14:09Please don't tell me Maximus failed.
00:14:11Good, good, good.
00:14:13So, heard you got a new hubby, sweetie.
00:14:16When's he arriving?
00:14:18Oh, it's probably just some story she cooked up to stop people talking.
00:14:23Poor thing.
00:14:23Not surprising.
00:14:25I mean, she's 30.
00:14:26Once a woman hits that age, you become undateable.
00:14:29Oh, plus a kid looks so bad on dating apps.
00:14:34This is exactly why I refuse to come home single this Christmas.
00:14:39Auntie Pamela, Debbie, my dating life, quite frankly, is none of your concern.
00:14:44We're only worried about you.
00:14:46All these years without a husband.
00:14:48Zip it, Pamela.
00:14:50You know, you always spoiled her rotten.
00:14:54And look what happened.
00:14:55She got knocked up out of wedlock, raising a kid all alone.
00:14:59I'm not alone.
00:15:00Mm-hmm.
00:15:01And what does this mysterious husband do?
00:15:07He's a manager.
00:15:09Manager?
00:15:09Of what?
00:15:11Trash?
00:15:13Probably a cover for criminal activity.
00:15:17You don't have to lie to us, Eva.
00:15:20Actually, he's right here.
00:15:26Oh, wow.
00:15:28Wow.
00:15:29He is really good looking.
00:15:32Ah, must be AI.
00:15:34Mm-hmm, congratulations, Eva, on your Photoshop skills.
00:15:38Fake.
00:15:39That's enough.
00:15:40She's our daughter and your niece.
00:15:42Show some respect.
00:15:44Remember last year when I introduced you to my husband's nephew, William, and you turned
00:15:49him down?
00:15:51Well, guess what?
00:15:52William works for the Harrison Group now.
00:15:55Makes 500 grand a year.
00:15:58That's half a million.
00:16:00Half a million.
00:16:01Girls are lining up for him all the way to New York.
00:16:05And speak of the devil.
00:16:10Willie, you've made it.
00:16:22There you are.
00:16:24Oh, look at you now.
00:16:26Living the dream.
00:16:28Oh, just think, Eva.
00:16:30Well, you could be driving around in a car like that had you not married that criminal
00:16:34waste manager.
00:16:36So married, huh?
00:16:38Is it serious?
00:16:40That's what marriage is.
00:16:41It's pretty serious.
00:16:43Wow.
00:16:44You must have rushed the time they're not, huh?
00:16:47Makes sense, though.
00:16:48You not being a hot young thing anymore.
00:16:51Dragging that kid around with no daddy.
00:16:54Yeah, a bullet dodged, Willie.
00:16:56Meanwhile, you're climbing the Harrison Group ladder.
00:17:00That's right.
00:17:02Just bought this brand new suit with my Christmas bonus.
00:17:06Women love a man in red.
00:17:08Sexy, like Santa Claus.
00:17:11When I sit on my lap...
00:17:12Don't touch me.
00:17:14Oh, so entitled.
00:17:16Williams, a successful man of taste, not waste.
00:17:20And yet, for some reason, he's willing to overlook your baggage.
00:17:24I mean, look at that car.
00:17:27Did your husband afford anything even close to that?
00:17:30Think of the life I can give you and Piper with all my Harrison Group money.
00:17:33Ditch your nobody husband and marry me instead.
00:17:38I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on Earth.
00:17:41My mom would never marry.
00:17:47She already has us, and he's gonna kick your butt.
00:17:54Is that so?
00:17:55Well then, where is he?
00:17:58Because I don't see him.
00:17:59Does anyone see him?
00:18:03No.
00:18:04Just like I thought.
00:18:06Telling lies just like Mommy.
00:18:09That puts you on the naughty list.
00:18:11And let me show you what happens to the naughty children.
00:18:17Hey.
00:18:17Mommy.
00:18:18Hey, are you okay?
00:18:20I see your hands.
00:18:21Oh my God.
00:18:23I'm gonna take her in and get her packed up, okay?
00:18:24Come on now.
00:18:25Let's go.
00:18:27What the hell's the matter with you?
00:18:30How dare you put your filthy hands on my daughter?
00:18:34Let me go.
00:18:35Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when I'm having such a good time?
00:18:40Let me go.
00:18:41Let me go.
00:18:56Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
00:18:59Max, you came.
00:19:05Don't worry, sweetie.
00:19:08Where's Piper?
00:19:10William Hitter.
00:19:12Mom, I'm dead.
00:19:12I'll take her inside.
00:19:14Well, it looks like we have a real Grinch to dispose of.
00:19:17Well, well, well.
00:19:18Well, if it isn't the Waste Manager I've been hearing so much about.
00:19:22That's right.
00:19:24Now, I'm about to take out the trash.
00:19:27Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
00:19:30It's an honor to meet you.
00:19:31I'm Max.
00:19:33Eva told us all about you.
00:19:34From New York.
00:19:35Polite.
00:19:36Handsome.
00:19:36Just like she said.
00:19:39Wow.
00:19:40He was an AI.
00:19:42See?
00:19:43He's real.
00:19:44And he's more of a man here than William would ever dream to be.
00:19:47Son of a bitch.
00:19:49You just ruined my suit.
00:19:50And watch the way that you drive that...
00:19:51That pristine automobile.
00:19:54That car?
00:19:56Oh, my God.
00:19:57That's worth more than a house.
00:19:58That car?
00:20:01It was all over the news when the CEO of the Harrison Group bought it.
00:20:05Wait.
00:20:06Are you?
00:20:11Like I said, I'm just Eva's husband.
00:20:15And that's all he needs to know.
00:20:17I'm not here to put on a show for anyone.
00:20:19You really are a criminal, aren't you?
00:20:21You stole it.
00:20:22That car belongs to the CEO of my company.
00:20:24Jesus.
00:20:25How did he get away with it?
00:20:27That's what I want to know.
00:20:29Enough, please.
00:20:32I trust my daughter.
00:20:34She would never marry a criminal.
00:20:37Max, be honest with me.
00:20:40Where did that car come from?
00:20:42How much did you want for it?
00:20:44I'll pay you more money than you'd make in three lifetimes.
00:20:48So?
00:20:49You need a breath, man.
00:20:53All right, that's it.
00:20:53I'm calling the cops.
00:20:54Oh, way ahead of you.
00:20:56Wait.
00:20:57What?
00:20:58Are you feeling nervous, Eva?
00:21:02Oh, well.
00:21:03Too late.
00:21:10Listen, hon.
00:21:11I believe you.
00:21:13But how could Max afford a car like that?
00:21:17Mr. Smith, don't worry.
00:21:18It's my car, okay?
00:21:20It's not stolen.
00:21:21Yeah?
00:21:22If it's yours, then prove it.
00:21:24Cops will be here in 15 minutes.
00:21:27Enjoy Christmas behind bars.
00:21:29Okay.
00:21:30I'll prove that it's mine.
00:21:31But then you have to get lost.
00:21:33And never show your face around my wife or child again.
00:21:36Oh, so you're a tough guy, huh?
00:21:38Well, I hope they serve eggnog in prison.
00:21:40Loser!
00:21:41Say one more word, and I'll give him a real reason to take me in.
00:21:44Jesus.
00:21:45Maybe he is a crime boss.
00:21:49It's kind of sexy, though.
00:21:53Here.
00:21:54Title and proof of ownership.
00:21:55Mr. Harrison?
00:22:08Mr. Harrison?
00:22:11Mr. Harrison?
00:22:13Just leave me alone.
00:22:15Merry Christmas, Willie.
00:22:17Now get the fuck out of here.
00:22:19Before I kick your ass all the way up to the North Pole.
00:22:21Yes, sir!
00:22:22I'm so sorry, sir!
00:22:23I...
00:22:24I...
00:22:24Please, please.
00:22:25I'm so sorry, sir.
00:22:26Please.
00:22:36Oh, that William.
00:22:39What a jerk, huh?
00:22:41You fooled me.
00:22:42What can I say?
00:22:43Let's not let this little misunderstanding ruin the holidays.
00:22:47Oh, now you don't want to ruin Christmas?
00:22:49Oh, come on, Eva.
00:22:50We were just looking out for you.
00:22:52Oh, please forgive us, Mr. Harrison.
00:22:55You know my youngest son is graduating.
00:22:57Soon.
00:22:57Do you think that you could help him get his foot in the door?
00:23:01A job at the Harrison Group, even in the mailroom, would open doors.
00:23:06We are family, aren't we?
00:23:08Family takes care of each other.
00:23:09If you guys want a job at the Harrison Group, you can put in an application like everyone
00:23:15else.
00:23:16Abigail, come on.
00:23:17Talk to her for us.
00:23:19Didn't you just say that my daughter was undateable?
00:23:22Yeah.
00:23:23I think you need to take care of your own issues first.
00:23:26My daughter is just far too busy.
00:23:28You're the best life for my new son-in-law.
00:23:32Come on, guys.
00:23:32Let's go in.
00:23:33Welcome to the family.
00:23:34Welcome.
00:23:34This is your fault, Pam.
00:23:45You can't tell the difference between AI and reality.
00:23:49My fault?
00:23:50You were the one who was pushing her onto that worm, William.
00:23:53Hey, how do you have that car?
00:24:05And how do you know the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:24:07And how do you...
00:24:08I told you.
00:24:08I work for Harrison Group, remember?
00:24:11I have a friend in high places.
00:24:13A friend who just hands you keys to million-dollar, one-of-a-kind luxury cars?
00:24:17Yes.
00:24:19It's the season of giving.
00:24:20He knows people.
00:24:22Has connections.
00:24:23He's a big deal kind of guy.
00:24:26You're a crime boss, aren't you?
00:24:27Yeah, and you best not forget it.
00:24:29Capisce?
00:24:29Oh, my God.
00:24:30Just don't blow your cover.
00:24:33Dad!
00:24:34Mom!
00:24:35Thank you so much for letting Max and I stay in your home.
00:24:38Oh, honey.
00:24:39We're just so happy that you found such a handsome, strong, good-looking...
00:24:45I think they'd get it, hon.
00:24:48Uh, how's Piper?
00:24:50Oh, she's fine.
00:24:52One of you guys just gets settled in and we will go check on her.
00:24:55And if your mom takes a cold shower, we'll come back and finish decorating the tree.
00:25:00Great.
00:25:01See you in a bit.
00:25:02Joey?
00:25:03What are you doing?
00:25:06Okay.
00:25:08Hey, was that not a breach of contract?
00:25:14Relax.
00:25:14It was just a hug.
00:25:15We just got here and I'm already exhausted.
00:25:22You'll be okay.
00:25:23It's just one week.
00:25:24Kill me now.
00:25:25Well, I would, but I need to get paid.
00:25:32What are you doing?
00:25:34That's weird.
00:25:36They were so lovey-dovey just a second ago.
00:25:38I don't know.
00:25:39Something just falls off.
00:25:40That's ridiculous.
00:25:43I mean, what do you want him to do?
00:25:45Make him promise to prove him?
00:25:47I don't like this.
00:25:49Later.
00:25:52Let's go.
00:25:53Here we go.
00:25:59Piper is all tucked in, honey.
00:26:01Everything looks amazing and happy holidays.
00:26:04To the newest member of our family, Max.
00:26:07Oh.
00:26:08Welcome.
00:26:09Cheers.
00:26:10Thank you, Miss Smith.
00:26:11Looks great.
00:26:12Oh, just call me mom, honey.
00:26:14I had no idea what you liked, so I just whipped up a little bit of everything.
00:26:19But we all know what Eva's favorite Christmas dish is, right?
00:26:23Oh, no.
00:26:25Mom's testing him.
00:26:26She's trying to see if he's legit.
00:26:27You mean to tell me you two are married and you don't even know my baby girl's favorite food?
00:26:34Ow.
00:26:35Eva, sweetie.
00:26:37Kicking my foot.
00:26:38Oh, sorry, mom.
00:26:40Oh, jeez.
00:26:41It's not long, look what you're doing.
00:26:43It's okay.
00:26:44Look, mom, of course he knows it's...
00:26:46I would like to hear Max say it.
00:27:00Twelve pumpkin pies.
00:27:02Did I hear this right?
00:27:03They're the best kind.
00:27:05Well, of course.
00:27:06It's pumpkin pie.
00:27:09See?
00:27:10Are you happy now?
00:27:11That's good, but something still falls off.
00:27:14Mom, don't make it weird, okay?
00:27:17We had a whirlwind romance and we eloped before we got to know everything about each other.
00:27:22But our marriage is real.
00:27:24I guess your mom's just watching too many of those real short shows.
00:27:28Ah, now those are quality.
00:27:31Okay, well, then answer this.
00:27:35Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:39Where's your wedding ring, Eva?
00:27:40I knew it was a good idea to pick this up.
00:27:45Well, um, it's...
00:27:48Silly face, dropped it outside on the sidewalk.
00:27:52Luckily, I was there to pick it up for her.
00:27:54Silly face.
00:27:55And I am not paying extra for this.
00:27:59Consider it a Christmas gift.
00:28:01What'd you do?
00:28:01It's Lazarus.
00:28:02It's nice.
00:28:04You can afford this on a waste manager's salary?
00:28:07Well, believe it or not, Miss Smith, there is a lot of garbage out there.
00:28:11And I'm not just talking about William.
00:28:12I'll drink to that.
00:28:15I agree with you there.
00:28:17So, come on, guys.
00:28:18Let's eat.
00:28:18Come on.
00:28:25And this is where y'all will be staying.
00:28:34I have another room set up for Piper.
00:28:37Nice and festive for you.
00:28:39No complications, right?
00:28:41Sorry, honey.
00:28:42Uh, Mom, you know what?
00:28:44I should stay with Piper tonight.
00:28:45Oh, honey.
00:28:47Newlyweds shouldn't sleep apart.
00:28:50Oh, I just remembered.
00:28:52The city's turning the water off at 10.
00:28:54Something about water conservation.
00:28:56That means you have 15 minutes to shower.
00:28:5815 minutes?
00:29:00Honey, it's no big deal.
00:29:02Just shower together.
00:29:04Shower together?
00:29:08Just shower together.
00:29:10Okay, you guys.
00:29:11Have a good night, okay?
00:29:11You hurt her.
00:29:17Oh, wow.
00:29:25Why are you stripping?
00:29:41Well, I can't take a shower when you're closed on.
00:29:44Come on, we're wasting time.
00:29:45You have 15 minutes.
00:29:46Nice try.
00:29:47I am not showering with you.
00:29:49All right.
00:29:50Suit yourself.
00:29:51More room for me in there.
00:29:51Not if I meet you there first.
00:29:54Come on, Max.
00:29:58Get out of the way.
00:30:14You agreed.
00:30:14Nothing physical.
00:30:15You're the one with the dirty thoughts, wifey.
00:30:17Relax.
00:30:18I won't touch you.
00:30:20Unless you say you want me to.
00:30:24But that'll cost extra.
00:30:25In your dreams.
00:30:37Free to join me.
00:30:38You know, if you keep staring at my ass, you're not going to have me shower while you're left.
00:31:01You wish.
00:31:03Why aren't you getting in?
00:31:05Pray you'll fall for me.
00:31:07It's you who has to worry about resisting me.
00:31:10Oh, yeah?
00:31:11True.
00:31:12Holy shit.
00:31:27Oh, this is, um, this is going to be harder than I thought.
00:31:32I'll say.
00:31:34What happened to all that cool guy confidence?
00:31:37Still think you can resist?
00:31:40Oh, baby.
00:31:42I don't think I want to.
00:31:48Max, I shouldn't.
00:31:52Or maybe we should.
00:31:54God, he's such a good kisser.
00:31:57Why does this feel so familiar?
00:32:05Oh, we're so sexy.
00:32:08Max, we cannot do this.
00:32:19What?
00:32:19I didn't mean to cross any...
00:32:21It's not you, Max.
00:32:22It's us.
00:32:23It's this.
00:32:24This is all an act.
00:32:25Let's not make it more complicated than it is.
00:32:28You're right.
00:32:30I'm sorry.
00:32:31I just need to be sorry.
00:32:33I just need to be sorry, just...
00:32:38That birthmark.
00:32:47What is that?
00:32:50It's him.
00:32:51The man from New Year's.
00:32:52Is he Piper's father?
00:32:58Why are you acting?
00:33:01Oh, my God.
00:33:02Max is Piper's father.
00:33:05Are you okay?
00:33:06Yeah.
00:33:07I just...
00:33:08I just got lightheaded.
00:33:11I think I just need a few more minutes.
00:33:13Alone.
00:33:13Of course.
00:33:19We have a daughter together.
00:33:21Oh, my God.
00:33:22What do I do?
00:33:29I'm going to sleep on the floor.
00:33:31You can take the bed.
00:33:33Thanks.
00:33:35Hey.
00:33:37Are you sure you're okay?
00:33:39Look, fake marriage aside,
00:33:40I'm your husband for the next few days.
00:33:43So if there's something you need,
00:33:44I can help.
00:33:46I want to help.
00:33:48He's Piper's father.
00:33:49He has a right to know.
00:33:52Um, Max?
00:33:54How would you feel
00:33:56if you found out you had a kid?
00:34:01A child?
00:34:03No, no, no.
00:34:04That's impossible.
00:34:05I'm very careful.
00:34:08Mostly.
00:34:10I just mean
00:34:11I'm not the type of guy
00:34:12to sleep around.
00:34:13Family to me
00:34:14is a big commitment
00:34:15and I don't want
00:34:17any loose ends.
00:34:18You know?
00:34:20Right.
00:34:21He wouldn't want a kid
00:34:22tying him down.
00:34:24I shouldn't tell him
00:34:24about Piper.
00:34:26Why do you ask?
00:34:28No reason.
00:34:29Just curious.
00:34:31No, I feel like
00:34:32you're going somewhere with this.
00:34:34What?
00:34:36No.
00:34:37Well, then
00:34:38can I ask you a question?
00:34:40Shoot.
00:34:46Where did you get these?
00:34:48And how did you know
00:34:49my exact size?
00:34:50I did not get those.
00:34:52I don't know
00:34:53where those came from.
00:34:54Are you sure
00:34:54you're just not trying
00:34:55to break the contract?
00:34:59No.
00:35:00Stop coming.
00:35:01Get off.
00:35:01Get off.
00:35:02Woo!
00:35:03Elon,
00:35:15the truth is
00:35:16is that I...
00:35:19Go, go, go, go, go.
00:35:22Just a second.
00:35:23Come in.
00:35:25Hey, Helen.
00:35:33The End of the
00:35:37Oh!
00:35:38Sorry for interrupting,
00:35:39but Piper is asking
00:35:41for a bedtime story
00:35:42before I tuck her in.
00:35:44Think you could take
00:35:44this one, Dad?
00:35:45We're kind of in the middle
00:35:46of something.
00:35:47I can see that.
00:35:49Well, why don't I
00:35:50read it to her?
00:35:51I mean, if you don't...
00:35:52If you don't mind.
00:35:54Well, atta boy.
00:35:55You know what?
00:35:56Just put a shirt on.
00:35:57I'm gonna go get her.
00:35:58Piper!
00:35:59Here comes Grandpa!
00:36:03He sprang to his sleigh,
00:36:05to his team gave a whistle,
00:36:07and away they all flew,
00:36:08like the down of a thistle.
00:36:10But I heard him exclaim
00:36:11as he drove out of sight,
00:36:14Merry Christmas to all,
00:36:16and to all,
00:36:18a good night.
00:36:19If Piper knew
00:36:22he was her real dad,
00:36:23she'd be over the moon.
00:36:25Good night, Piper.
00:36:30Is her dad still around?
00:36:33Yeah, but he doesn't know it,
00:36:35because you're her dad.
00:36:37Uh, no.
00:36:38That man has no idea
00:36:40what a treasure
00:36:41he's missing out on.
00:36:46Do you really think so?
00:36:48From the bottom of my heart.
00:36:51Maybe I should tell him.
00:36:53He deserves to know.
00:37:00Max.
00:37:00You're Piper's father.
00:37:13I'll tell you
00:37:14when the time's right.
00:37:14Where's Piper?
00:37:41She must have snuck off
00:37:42while we were asleep.
00:37:43God, he's such a good kisser.
00:38:01Just gonna kiss and run?
00:38:12Not on my watch.
00:38:17Yeah, this.
00:38:19I remember this.
00:38:20Good morning, you two love bugs.
00:38:33How was your stay at Chateau Smith?
00:38:36Good morning, Miss Smith.
00:38:37It was, uh, it was great.
00:38:39Wonderful.
00:38:40Well, it's about to get even better.
00:38:44Oh, no.
00:38:45What is that?
00:38:46Sardines and saltines.
00:38:48It's a Smith family classic.
00:38:50It was my gram-grams favorite
00:38:52during wartime.
00:38:53Don't be shy.
00:38:54Go ahead, grab a handful.
00:38:56Max, you don't have to.
00:38:58No, no.
00:38:58It's okay.
00:38:59It's a Smith family staple.
00:39:02Oh.
00:39:03There we go.
00:39:04There we go.
00:39:12Yeah.
00:39:12Yeah.
00:39:21Good?
00:39:22Mmm.
00:39:23Good?
00:39:24It's grumpy.
00:39:25Well, you two better get dressed.
00:39:28You gotta go see Aunt Miranda.
00:39:31Could I, um, could I have some water, please?
00:39:34That means there's no escaping Aunt Miranda
00:39:36and her brood this year.
00:39:38What's the deal with them?
00:39:40Every year, Aunt Miranda bullies Piper and I.
00:39:42Says Piper's a fatherless brat, and I'm...
00:39:47Hey, don't worry.
00:39:48I'll protect you and Piper.
00:39:52Better have Sam on standby tonight,
00:39:54just in case.
00:39:56Well,
00:39:57looks like it's time to get dressed up then.
00:40:10Wait, that earring.
00:40:13Wait, that earring.
00:40:15You like it?
00:40:17I was so bummed when I lost the matching one years ago.
00:40:20Did you lose it seven years ago?
00:40:22I don't really remember the details,
00:40:24but luckily, I was able to find a new pair.
00:40:28Right.
00:40:29Yeah, it's just a common earring.
00:40:31Anyone could have it.
00:40:32Maybe I'm reading too much into it.
00:40:34She can't be the woman from seven years ago.
00:40:36So, Ava and Piper still aren't here.
00:40:42But Derek said that Ava got married.
00:40:45What kind of man could she possibly have landed?
00:40:50An aging single mom.
00:40:52Slim pickings.
00:40:53I heard he's in waste management.
00:40:56That explains it.
00:40:57She's probably too embarrassed to show up.
00:41:00Oh, please, Miranda.
00:41:02No.
00:41:02Ava is your niece.
00:41:03Oh, come on, Grandpa.
00:41:05Everyone knows Ava had a kid with a random one-night stand.
00:41:09Her track record speaks for itself.
00:41:11Exactly.
00:41:12Not like my Sierra.
00:41:13Married to a legal advisor for Harrison Group.
00:41:16Oh, they're here.
00:41:21Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:27Merry Christmas, everybody.
00:41:29Merry Christmas.
00:41:31You must be Grandpa Harold.
00:41:33I am.
00:41:34I'm Ava's husband, Max.
00:41:36Pleasure to meet you.
00:41:37Welcome.
00:41:37You're Ava's husband.
00:41:39But you're gorgeous.
00:41:42But how does Hanson miss you?
00:41:46Look at you two.
00:41:47You look like you just stepped out of a movie.
00:41:49Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:41:51Merry Christmas.
00:41:52This is from Max and I.
00:41:54Oh, my goodness.
00:41:55Thank you, Eva.
00:41:56Let me grab that for you, Daddy.
00:41:59Oops.
00:41:59Oh, my bad.
00:42:01Oh, a homemade gift.
00:42:03How thrifty.
00:42:05Not all gifts are about the price tag.
00:42:07Mommy's right.
00:42:08You mean all high?
00:42:09You little.
00:42:12You will not lay a hand on my daughter.
00:42:15Or you will lose yours.
00:42:17Oh.
00:42:18You think you broke my wrist.
00:42:20Look what you just did to my mother.
00:42:22My husband is Harrison Group's top legal advisor.
00:42:26He could ruin your life.
00:42:27Honey, are you okay?
00:42:41I'm fine.
00:42:42I'm just wet, honey.
00:42:43Yeah.
00:42:43It's okay.
00:42:44It's okay.
00:42:45It's okay.
00:42:46What are you?
00:42:50Don't you dare disrespect my husband.
00:42:52Did you just slap me?
00:42:54Next time, it'll be a closed fist.
00:42:56You're a fucking psycho.
00:42:58You know what, Sierra?
00:42:59I can take your little insults, but leave my family out of this.
00:43:04Her family.
00:43:06She means me.
00:43:11You okay, honey?
00:43:13Do I look okay to you, dumbass?
00:43:15Do something.
00:43:17You don't know who you're messing with.
00:43:18I've got the full weight of the Harrison Group behind me.
00:43:21Oh, wow.
00:43:22I'm sure the CEO would love to hear that you're using his company's name to bully people.
00:43:27Like you'd have any idea how a CEO thinks.
00:43:30Let's call him.
00:43:31I'm sure he'd be more than happy to be on my side.
00:43:34Please.
00:43:35Who do you think you are?
00:43:37Enough!
00:43:40There will be no arguing during Christmas.
00:43:43Fine, Dad.
00:43:44Let it go, Nathan.
00:43:45Nathan, they're just jealous.
00:43:49For Grandpa's sake, I'll let you off easy.
00:43:52I think you owe Nathan a thank you.
00:43:55I think you owe me a thank you for slapping some sense into you.
00:43:59Do you want me to get the other cheek?
00:44:00All right, that's enough.
00:44:02Everyone come inside and sit down.
00:44:04Is this a joke?
00:44:27Can you please pass me some food?
00:44:29Hold it.
00:44:29Who said you could eat anything else?
00:44:32My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:37My husband and I paid for this feast.
00:44:41King crab, fresh from Alaska, and grass-fed wagyu.
00:44:46Three times the price, 50 times the flavor.
00:44:50And you don't get a single bite.
00:44:52It's just petty.
00:44:53Maybe so.
00:44:55But gourmet food isn't meant for bottom feeders.
00:44:59Fine.
00:45:00Then we won't stay and eat with you.
00:45:02Come on, let's go.
00:45:03No, no.
00:45:04Don't you dare leave our family dinner.
00:45:08Grandpa, I'm sorry, but they're treating us like...
00:45:11I know, dear.
00:45:12I just want to have our family together.
00:45:14Fine.
00:45:15We'll let the strays sit and eat with us.
00:45:18If they're a stray, then a bitch.
00:45:19What was that?
00:45:23I just want to have our family together.
00:45:27Fine.
00:45:28We'll stay.
00:45:30Can I have a little navel?
00:45:32It's okay, sweetie.
00:45:33We'll get something right after.
00:45:35Like drive-thru?
00:45:37I hope you enjoy food poisoning.
00:45:39That will be a particularly memorable Christmas present.
00:45:44No strays.
00:45:45Ow.
00:45:46Please, are you okay?
00:45:48Yes, please.
00:45:49You hit my child.
00:45:50You're fucking crazy.
00:45:52Well, if you'd teach her some manners, maybe I wouldn't have to.
00:45:59Don't worry, baby.
00:46:00I'll handle it.
00:46:04Don't worry, baby.
00:46:05I'll handle it.
00:46:09Piper.
00:46:11Sweetie, are you ready to try the best food you've ever had in your life?
00:46:14Okay, sweetheart.
00:46:18Give me two minutes and one phone call.
00:46:20As if you have a chef on speed dial.
00:46:23Actually, I do.
00:46:26He's such a liar.
00:46:27This ought to be hilarious.
00:46:29Oh, it will be.
00:46:32Sam.
00:46:34Yeah, send the troops.
00:46:35And bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:38I'm already on my way.
00:46:43Bring that king crab from Antarctica.
00:46:45I'm already on my way.
00:46:48You hear this guy?
00:46:49He wants the best king crab in the world.
00:46:52From Antarctica.
00:46:53Now I get why you married him, Eva.
00:46:57His silly delusions are just adorable.
00:47:00Max, what are you doing?
00:47:02Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
00:47:03Santa's already on his way.
00:47:05Actually, five, four, three, two, one.
00:47:14A helicopter?
00:47:15There's no way.
00:47:29How did you pull this off?
00:47:30Sam is like family.
00:47:31I thought I'd introduce you to.
00:47:33Thanks, boss.
00:47:35Boss?
00:47:36Eva's always been genuine with me.
00:47:38Maybe it's time she knew who I really am.
00:47:40Eva, I think it's time you actually know the truth.
00:47:43I'm Maximus Harrison.
00:47:47You're the CEO of Harrison Group?
00:47:51Mm-hmm.
00:47:54Come on.
00:47:56You can stop kidding around.
00:47:58If you were the CEO, why would you be here pretending to be my husband?
00:48:02No, I actually am the CEO.
00:48:04Come on.
00:48:04You can stop the charade.
00:48:06Okay, this is just another favor from that big, big friend, isn't it?
00:48:09Eva, I'm not pretending.
00:48:10Okay, Mr. Harrison, the Antarctic king crab as you requested.
00:48:16How is this possible?
00:48:28This loser brings Antarctic king crab and has his own personal chef?
00:48:34Who are you?
00:48:36I told you, I'm Eva's husband.
00:48:38That chef called him Mr. Harrison.
00:48:41Wait, no.
00:48:42Hold on.
00:48:43You're the actual CEO of the Harrison Group?
00:48:48You're worth more than some whole countries.
00:48:51Hmm.
00:48:52Some of the small ones.
00:48:54I mean, you know that.
00:48:56You work for me.
00:48:57Oh, God.
00:48:58I insulted my own boss.
00:49:00I'm finished.
00:49:01Oh, God.
00:49:07I insulted my own boss.
00:49:09I'm finished.
00:49:11Didn't think Max would commit this hard.
00:49:13Pretending to be CEO is a hell of a move.
00:49:15Worth every penny I'm paying him.
00:49:17For tonight, your feast ends.
00:49:19And with that, your career.
00:49:22You're fired.
00:49:23Fired?
00:49:24Sam.
00:49:29Fired?
00:49:30Oh, God.
00:49:31I can't be fired.
00:49:33What?
00:49:35Mr. Harrison, please.
00:49:36You can have as much crab as you want.
00:49:38Please, Mr. Harrison.
00:49:39I'll do anything.
00:49:41Guys, take out the trash.
00:49:44And you.
00:49:50Oh, me?
00:49:52Mr. Harrison, come on.
00:49:53That was a Christmas joke.
00:49:55A family tradition.
00:49:56Yeah, well, there's a new family tradition.
00:49:59Sam.
00:50:04Will you do me the honors?
00:50:07Gladly.
00:50:11Merry Christmas, Aunt Maria.
00:50:15Father, do something.
00:50:18Well, you kind of deserve that.
00:50:20I'm leaving.
00:50:21Mmm, pumpkin's my favorite.
00:50:28Come on, sweetie.
00:50:31Daddy had the scrap line just for you.
00:50:33Eat as much as you want.
00:50:35Thanks, Daddy.
00:50:39I am so sorry I ruined your Christmas.
00:50:41I just couldn't take them treating you like that.
00:50:43Honestly, this is the best Christmas I've ever had.
00:50:47Well, if you want, we can have many more.
00:50:49Just like this.
00:50:51Does he really mean that?
00:50:53Or is he just playing the part?
00:50:55I can't tell.
00:50:56And that terrifies me.
00:51:02Merry Christmas, Mrs. Harrison.
00:51:04I brought you a gift.
00:51:05Here's the paternity test between the boss and that little girl.
00:51:07Oh.
00:51:07Oh, this is wonderful.
00:51:16Sam, I have a granddaughter.
00:51:19Tell me everything.
00:51:21Miss Eva Smith, single mother, small town gal,
00:51:24didn't finish high school, currently works in retail.
00:51:26Oh, Maximus, I thought I raised you better.
00:51:30A high school dropout?
00:51:32In the Harrison family?
00:51:34Not a chance.
00:51:36She is clearly unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:51:43Maximus seems to like her.
00:51:44Silence.
00:51:45Get me the address where she works.
00:51:47It's Happy Heels on Broadway.
00:51:48That's nice.
00:51:50We own that one.
00:51:52Good work.
00:51:53But take off that stupid hat.
00:52:05Thanks.
00:52:05So your dad insisted that I try this wine that he's been saving for 20 years.
00:52:11Sounds like he's happy with his new son-in-law.
00:52:14And how about you?
00:52:19Me?
00:52:20Yeah.
00:52:22Are you happy with your new husband?
00:52:27Eva.
00:52:27That birthmark.
00:52:40Family to me is a big commitment, and I don't want any loose ends, you know?
00:52:46Maximus, there's so much we don't know.
00:52:48So much we're not telling each other.
00:52:49No feelings, no complications.
00:52:54That's what we agreed upon.
00:52:55Yeah, I didn't sign a contract.
00:52:57Max.
00:52:58Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:53:01It's cold.
00:53:03Maybe I'll go grab some more firewood.
00:53:07Max.
00:53:07I need to tell you something.
00:53:12It's something important.
00:53:14What's gotten into her?
00:53:17Is she hiding something?
00:53:18Is this the part where you tell me there's no Santa?
00:53:20I haven't been completely honest with you.
00:53:26Piper is...
00:53:29Piper is...
00:53:31Mommy, Daddy, my hand hurts.
00:53:34Sweetie.
00:53:35Oh, my gosh.
00:53:36I'm swollen.
00:53:37Must have been when that witch smacked her with the fork earlier.
00:53:40Listen, you stay here with Daddy.
00:53:41Mommy's gonna go get a first aid kit, okay?
00:53:45Come on, Piper.
00:53:49Okay, let me see.
00:53:50I promise I won't let anyone hurt you or Mommy again.
00:53:57But that's not true.
00:53:59You were leaving after Christmas, aren't you?
00:54:03Uh...
00:54:03Daddy!
00:54:04No!
00:54:06Well...
00:54:12Don't you dare disrespect my husband!
00:54:17Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:20Well, maybe I don't have to leave.
00:54:23Really?
00:54:24Please stay, Daddy.
00:54:28You think it was Scar?
00:54:32Hmm.
00:54:32I wouldn't worry about it.
00:54:36Scars make you look like a badass.
00:54:38I have one, too.
00:54:40Dad...
00:54:41I got that when I was about your age.
00:54:43Some punk came at me with a switchblade.
00:54:46Really?
00:54:47No way.
00:54:48I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:54:55I have something like that on the back of my neck.
00:54:56Piper, how long have you had that?
00:55:01My mom's never had that when I was born.
00:55:09And how old are you?
00:55:11Six.
00:55:12Six?
00:55:13That one night stand was about seven years ago.
00:55:15Okay, I found the first aid kit.
00:55:17Ivor, are you sure we haven't met before?
00:55:23What do I even say?
00:55:24And how do I explain it to Piper?
00:55:26Sorry, honey.
00:55:27This man's your dad, and he didn't know you existed until now.
00:55:31Um...
00:55:32Yeah.
00:55:35Can I see your hand, sweetie?
00:55:37Ivor.
00:55:38Okay, look.
00:55:46Piper is...
00:55:52Go on.
00:55:59That must be an emergency.
00:56:01Excuse me.
00:56:03Sorry, I'll take this.
00:56:08Mommy, are you okay?
00:56:12Yeah.
00:56:14Mommy's just realizing she's a coward.
00:56:17I don't even have the guts to tell the truth.
00:56:22Why haven't you picked up my calls?
00:56:25I'm telling you, Max, that woman is manipulating you.
00:56:29She's a high school dropout.
00:56:31Doesn't even have a decent job.
00:56:33And she's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:56:35I'm Eva's husband.
00:56:37Max.
00:56:37That man has no idea what a treasure he's missing out on.
00:56:46I'm sorry, Max.
00:56:47You can't know Piper's your daughter.
00:56:49Your mother would take her away.
00:56:51After Christmas, it's over.
00:56:55Eva?
00:56:56Maximus?
00:56:57Are you even listening to me?
00:57:00No, Mom, Mom, listen.
00:57:01I'm sorry, okay?
00:57:02Eva's my wife, and I've made up my mind.
00:57:04I'm not leaving her.
00:57:05I'm not leaving her.
00:57:07Eva?
00:57:15I mean, that's awesome.
00:57:16Ha, ha.
00:57:17Did you?
00:57:18Oh, I'm glad you are.
00:57:19This is for you, Grandma.
00:57:22Oh, wow.
00:57:27Derek, this is from Eva and I.
00:57:33Oh, thank you so much.
00:57:35Thanks, guys.
00:57:36I'm glad you're here.
00:57:39Oh!
00:57:40Oh!
00:57:41Wow!
00:57:42Damn, these are nice.
00:57:43Grandpa, language.
00:57:44Little ears.
00:57:51Piper, do you want to go see your present?
00:57:53It's in the other room by the train set.
00:57:55Here, I'll go with you.
00:57:56Remember the song that we sang?
00:57:58Ready?
00:57:58Ready?
00:57:59Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:58:01What do we got, guys?
00:58:02Billy.
00:58:02Walkin' home from our house, Christmas Eve.
00:58:08You never told me.
00:58:12Have we met before?
00:58:18Have we met before?
00:58:19She's unfit to raise my granddaughter.
00:58:26I don't know what you're getting at.
00:58:29Eva, I have the same birthmark as Piper.
00:58:40I don't know what you're talking about.
00:58:41Lots of people have birthmarks.
00:58:42They're very common.
00:58:43I feel so awful, but I can't lose my child.
00:58:47No matter how I feel about him.
00:58:49Maybe.
00:58:54Are you okay?
00:58:57Are the clogs a bad idea?
00:59:00No.
00:59:01I'm fine.
00:59:03Um.
00:59:05Oh, I almost forgot.
00:59:09I got you this.
00:59:11You got me a gift, too?
00:59:12Tis the season.
00:59:14Open it.
00:59:19Gloves.
00:59:28Gloves.
00:59:30Did you make these?
00:59:32Yeah.
00:59:33I know this is a fake marriage, but that's Christmas.
00:59:37You've already done so much for me.
00:59:39I just wanted to do a little something for you.
00:59:43How did I feel?
00:59:45Warm, right?
00:59:46Yeah.
00:59:47Warm.
00:59:49Soft.
00:59:53Perfect.
00:59:53Thank you, Eva.
00:59:59I've never gotten anything this meaningful before.
01:00:03Really?
01:00:05Yeah, my mom.
01:00:06She partied all the time.
01:00:07And I got gifts.
01:00:09Plenty of them.
01:00:10But I don't think she ever bought one herself.
01:00:15Nothing personal.
01:00:17Well, you deserve it.
01:00:20You're a good guy.
01:00:22And someday you'll find someone special to spend all your Christmases with.
01:00:28And what if that day's today?
01:00:34What if I already found someone special?
01:00:38Right here.
01:00:58Max, we can't.
01:01:07If you want me to stop, you better tell me right now.
01:01:14Come on.
01:01:16I don't want you to stop.
01:01:23No matter how many years pass, I still can't resist him.
01:01:28I don't want you.
01:01:50God, you are trying to be fucking insane.
01:01:57Hunter!
01:01:58Piper!
01:02:06Piper!
01:02:07She can't see us.
01:02:10Piper!
01:02:20Piper!
01:02:21Ever!
01:02:21Piper!
01:02:23Piper!
01:02:24Piper!
01:02:24Piper!
01:02:25Piper!
01:02:25Eva?
01:02:31Grandma, I'm up here!
01:02:45That was way too close.
01:02:47Yeah.
01:02:48We would have gotten on the naughty list.
01:02:50Sometimes it's fun to be naughty.
01:02:58Can I still unwrap my present?
01:03:03You still haven't given me mine.
01:03:09Let me give it to you.
01:03:20Follow me.
01:03:21Why are you calling me this early?
01:03:51Hello?
01:03:55Hello, Eva Smith. I'm Max's mother. Name your price. What will it take for you to leave my son alone?
01:04:03What?
01:04:04We both know my son is way out of your league. Take the money, leave my granddaughter with us, and go. My son will find a better wife and a better mother for his child.
01:04:15Piper is my daughter, and no amount of money you offer could ever make me give her up. So you keep your money, and I'll leave on my own, but I am not handing Piper over to you.
01:04:27Well, there's my beautiful wife. You okay?
01:04:34Look, we made it through Christmas. So I think it's best we go our separate ways.
01:04:43What are you talking about?
01:04:46It's over. It's not that hard to understand.
01:04:53Eva, wait!
01:04:54So last night meant nothing to you?
01:05:04Max, it's not real. None of it was real.
01:05:08So this is just a goodbye. Didn't realize I was so disposable for you.
01:05:15Look. Last night, I let my guard down. But I'm a mother, and my choices affect Piper. And being with you can mess up everything between us.
01:05:27Just tell me what you need. I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father. Just say the word.
01:05:41You don't get it. You don't get it.
01:05:51I think it's time Piper and I go back to New York.
01:05:58I won't give up on us.
01:06:15Are we here?
01:06:17Yes. As much as I don't want us to be, we're back.
01:06:21We're back.
01:06:24Piper, sweetie, wake up. We're home.
01:06:31How can she just walk away?
01:06:40Don't forget you have to meet my mom. It's part of the agreement, too.
01:06:44Can I just pay you a little extra and skip it?
01:06:47You promised.
01:06:49Eva, I haven't asked you for much. Can you do this for me, please?
01:06:55All right, fine. When?
01:06:58Two days. I'll come pick you up.
01:07:01No need. Just send me the address and I'll be there.
01:07:04I'll be there.
01:07:10I know you and mommy thought, but she still really likes you.
01:07:15So don't give up, okay, daddy?
01:07:17Thank you, sweetie.
01:07:19If there's one thing you should know about your daddy, I always fight for the ones I love.
01:07:24Don't leave it.
01:07:26they're fine.
01:07:28He was meeting my mother today. Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:33Boss?
01:07:35Boss?
01:07:36Eva's meeting my mother today.
01:07:46Time to finally tell her the truth.
01:07:48Boss?
01:07:50Boss?
01:07:54Lady and gentlemen, I am so sorry.
01:07:57I need to go win back my family.
01:08:00Family?
01:08:01Boss, you okay?
01:08:02Never better.
01:08:03Go get her, Max.
01:08:09Give it your best smile.
01:08:12Ah, there he is.
01:08:15Maximus, darling.
01:08:16I have some prospects for you.
01:08:19Nice high society girls from the city.
01:08:24Oh.
01:08:27I told you, I already found the woman I love.
01:08:31What do you mean?
01:08:33Maximus, stop this.
01:08:38That Eva woman is scamming you, son.
01:08:42Tell me what kind of woman you want and I'll find you another.
01:08:45You are heir to the Harrison dynasty.
01:08:49No, I'm not.
01:08:51Oh?
01:08:52I work in waste management and I'm a secret crime boss.
01:08:56I'm Eva's husband and I'm a father.
01:08:59What?
01:08:59What?
01:08:59What?
01:09:01What?
01:09:15Oh, that's her.
01:09:17The woman who got my son head over heels.
01:09:19Hi, welcome in.
01:09:23Can I help you find something?
01:09:25I want to try those.
01:09:29Awesome.
01:09:30I'll get them for you right away.
01:09:32Are you?
01:09:33Sure you wouldn't want something more sensible?
01:09:35No, no, no.
01:09:39I know what I want.
01:09:41Size seven.
01:09:44Oh, Biddy can't even walk, but she wants $3,000 heels.
01:09:48Come on.
01:09:48She wants the white shoes.
01:09:50Ignore her.
01:09:56She's just grumpy over the holidays.
01:09:58Here, let me help you.
01:09:59One.
01:10:03She seems kind.
01:10:11I shouldn't be that impressed.
01:10:13She's just doing her job.
01:10:16How do they feel?
01:10:18Well, I love the style.
01:10:20It's too small.
01:10:21I think I need a size up.
01:10:24Maybe my feet are still growing.
01:10:28Right away.
01:10:30I'll be right back.
01:10:31She's not only kind, she's patient.
01:10:34Was I wrong about her?
01:10:50Are you gluing the heel back on?
01:10:53Well, who gives a shit?
01:10:56She can't walk.
01:10:59That's just pure evil.
01:11:02Oh, come on, St. Eva.
01:11:06She's in a wheelchair.
01:11:09Who cares?
01:11:09It's the last pair.
01:11:11I get paid commission.
01:11:13I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:11:20I'm not doing that, Vanessa.
01:11:21See?
01:11:21This is your whole problem.
01:11:26This is why you'll always be broke.
01:11:29I don't care if she can walk or not.
01:11:32I'm not selling her junk.
01:11:35She has to deal with people like this?
01:11:38People who insult her all day?
01:11:40I'm your manager.
01:11:46Sell the old bitty the shoes or you're fired.
01:11:55Did I stutter?
01:12:01You don't have to fire me.
01:12:04I quit.
01:12:06I quit.
01:12:10I don't work here anymore.
01:12:13Listen.
01:12:14Don't buy the shoes.
01:12:17They're broken.
01:12:17Spend your heart and money elsewhere, okay?
01:12:19You're a good person, after all.
01:12:23Looks like I misjudged you.
01:12:25I'm sorry?
01:12:28Why are you still here, Eva?
01:12:31Get out!
01:12:35No.
01:12:37You're not disabled?
01:12:38Selling a broken heel to someone you thought was handicapped?
01:12:43Absolutely shameful.
01:12:45Who are you?
01:12:46I am the chairwoman of the Harrison Group.
01:12:51And the owner of this store.
01:12:53You're Eleanor Harrison?
01:12:55Mother of the CEO?
01:12:57I am.
01:12:58And you, my dear, are fired.
01:13:02What did I do?
01:13:03You are a good person.
01:13:08From now on, this store is yours to run.
01:13:15Are you serious?
01:13:18That's right.
01:13:20Don't be nervous, child.
01:13:22You are professional, responsible, far better than that two-bit manager.
01:13:31You.
01:13:33Out.
01:13:34I'll leave.
01:13:38I'm leaving.
01:13:38I, I, I feel like I'm dreaming.
01:13:45No.
01:13:46Don't worry.
01:13:47You're getting a promotion.
01:13:49You deserve it, my dear.
01:13:54First assignment?
01:13:56I want that row, and that row, and the entire display case.
01:14:02Pack it all up and bring it to my house.
01:14:04Once we're home, I'll tell her I'm her mother-in-law.
01:14:12I can't wait to finally meet my granddaughter.
01:14:21She's the mother of a CEO.
01:14:23Of course she lives like this.
01:14:25Mrs. Harrison, I'm here with your delivery.
01:14:40Max?
01:14:42Eva.
01:14:44What are you doing here?
01:14:46I, uh...
01:14:47There you are, Eva.
01:14:50Wonderful we can finally meet each other properly.
01:14:52My new daughter-in-law.
01:14:56What are you talking...
01:14:58That means you really are the CEO of Harrison Group.
01:15:05Well, I tried to tell you, but...
01:15:06Stop!
01:15:08And you, you lied to me at the store.
01:15:12You were both just testing me?
01:15:15Is this some sick game rich people play?
01:15:17I'm sorry, Eva.
01:15:18I thought you might be using my son just after his money.
01:15:22But I was wrong.
01:15:23Eva, please.
01:15:24I don't deserve to be treated like this.
01:15:26Not every working-class girl is after your money.
01:15:30How could you think that of me?
01:15:31It's not like that, dear.
01:15:34Eva, what are you talking about?
01:15:36Mom, what did you do?
01:15:38I was just trying to get the two of you back together.
01:15:41We're not together.
01:15:43And I can't love something that was never real.
01:15:45I made a horrible mistake.
01:15:53What are you waiting for, son?
01:15:54Go after her!
01:15:59Eva.
01:16:00Let me go!
01:16:01I swear, it's not what you think.
01:16:02Look, we come from two completely different worlds.
01:16:04Stop pretending like you care!
01:16:05I'm not pretending!
01:16:07Okay, I can't fake what we have.
01:16:09And everything I've done for you, and Piper, this is real.
01:16:15Touch my wife again, and I will snap every finger that you've got.
01:16:21Max, you came.
01:16:22God, you weren't driving me fucking insane.
01:16:27I'll do whatever it takes to be a good husband, a good father.
01:16:31Just say the word.
01:16:35See?
01:16:35Stop fighting.
01:16:40We belong together.
01:16:43You're wrong.
01:16:45Wrong about what?
01:16:47That you care?
01:16:48Or we belong together?
01:16:50Look, I already told you.
01:16:51We're from two completely different worlds.
01:16:54Now, I held up my end of the deal, and I met your mother, like we discussed.
01:16:58I want a fake divorce from my fake cousin.
01:17:03Eva!
01:17:03Eva!
01:17:05Eva!
01:17:09I'm sorry, Maximus.
01:17:11Walking away is the only choice I have.
01:17:19Ow!
01:17:21Are you okay, Mommy?
01:17:23Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine.
01:17:25Come here.
01:17:26No, you're not fine.
01:17:35You're sad.
01:17:38I'm okay, sweetie.
01:17:42I miss Daddy, too.
01:17:43I want Max to be my real Daddy.
01:17:51Don't you want to be with him?
01:17:55Love bug.
01:17:57You're right.
01:17:58What am I doing?
01:17:59Running like a coward?
01:18:00I've always taught you to be brave.
01:18:04Now it's time for Mommy to be brave, too.
01:18:08I believe in you.
01:18:10What are you going to do, Mommy?
01:18:12I know exactly what to say to him.
01:18:14Maximus deserves to know, Piper is his daughter.
01:18:21Enough sulking.
01:18:29Go get your wife and my grandbaby back.
01:18:32Don't you think I want to?
01:18:35She doesn't want me.
01:18:36I didn't raise you to give up.
01:18:38Your daughter is still out there.
01:18:39You can't abandon her.
01:18:41Mom, you don't get it.
01:18:43I made a deal with Eva to play my wife.
01:18:46And Piper, she was an added bonus.
01:18:50What are you talking about?
01:18:52I already ran a DNA test.
01:18:55Piper is your daughter.
01:18:58What?
01:18:58See for yourself.
01:19:06I was right.
01:19:07Seven years ago.
01:19:09New Year's, that woman was Eva.
01:19:21Eva!
01:19:25Daddy!
01:19:27Daddy!
01:19:28Piper!
01:19:31Oh!
01:19:32I missed you so much, sweetheart.
01:19:36You came back.
01:19:43I, uh...
01:19:45Don't forget to be brave, Mommy.
01:19:54I, uh...
01:19:55I was scared.
01:19:57But I don't want to be scared anymore.
01:20:00Because what we have is real, and it's worth fighting for.
01:20:03Sweetheart, I have something to tell you.
01:20:08I have something to tell you, too.
01:20:12Piper is your daughter.
01:20:14You knew.
01:20:16My sweet granddaughter.
01:20:18Grandma!
01:20:19Oh!
01:20:22Well, I just found out for sure a few minutes ago.
01:20:24But you've known this whole time?
01:20:25I was scared.
01:20:26I was scared.
01:20:27Okay, I didn't know if you were going to take her from me.
01:20:30I didn't know how you were feeling.
01:20:33How could you not know how I felt?
01:20:34I love you, Eva.
01:20:49I love you, too.
01:20:51I promise.
01:20:53For the rest of my life, I'm going to make it up to you.
01:20:57As long as we're together, it doesn't matter where we are.
01:21:00Will you marry me, Eva?
01:21:13For real this time?
01:21:14Yes.
01:21:16Yes, of course, I'll marry you.
01:21:22Yes.
01:21:22Hi.
01:21:23Looks like you're stuck with me the next Christmas, and the Christmas after that, and forever.
01:21:37I wouldn't have it any other way.
01:21:44Who's that?
01:21:46Eva!
01:21:49Take me back!
01:21:51I'm sorry!
01:21:53I'm sure you're tired!
01:21:57Looks like I have to take out the trash.
01:22:00Again.
01:22:03No?
01:22:04Not funny?
01:22:05No?
01:22:05No?
01:22:05No?
01:22:05No?
01:22:05No?
01:22:06No?
01:22:06No?
01:22:06No?
01:22:07No?
01:22:07No?
01:22:08No?
01:22:09No?
01:22:10No?
01:22:11No?
01:22:12No?
01:22:13No?
01:22:14No?
01:22:15No?
01:22:16No?
01:22:17No?
01:22:18No?
01:22:19No?
01:22:20No?
01:22:21No?
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