- 7 weeks ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Great darts. Now hurry up. He's coming back on.
00:00:18Welcome back to the World Darts Championship.
00:00:20In this cricket match, Smith and Henriksen have closed the 20s through the 15s, have two bullseyes.
00:00:24They're also ahead by 20 points.
00:00:26Whitman and Keyes have closed the 20s through the 15s, have one bullseye.
00:00:28Alistair Whitman is going to need three bullseyes to win the first televised World Championship.
00:00:35And he's really going to have to hit three, because Henriksen has been hammering the bullseye all night.
00:00:39Well, if anybody can get a hat-trick, it's Alistair Whitman.
00:00:48Oh, that all but ends the match.
00:00:50He has to hit a double bullseye to win, and he's completely blocked it,
00:00:53far engraving Smith and Henriksen on the trophy.
00:00:58Women and Keyes have won the World Championship.
00:01:16I am Scott Smith. How did he do that?
00:01:18It's not human, I tell you. Somebody get down there and stop the engraver.
00:01:20That is the greatest closing door in the history of this game.
00:01:23Brown by the greatest player in the history of this game.
00:01:25That's for you, weirdo mittens.
00:01:26Weirdo mittens.
00:01:27You were not in the CIA.
00:01:48Yes, I was. I was in Berlin when the wall came down.
00:01:50Do you think that happened by itself?
00:01:52You're so full of shit, Birch.
00:01:53All right, showtime, Mitch!
00:02:00All right, all right. You got this, Hank.
00:02:06All we need is one bullseye to win.
00:02:07Are you crazy? He hasn't hit a bullseye all night.
00:02:09No way.
00:02:10Well, I'm willing to bet you double or nothing on your bar tab,
00:02:11he's gonna hit one right now.
00:02:12Oh, you're on.
00:02:13All right.
00:02:15You're due. One bullseye, okay?
00:02:17You got this, baby.
00:02:17What in the hell?
00:02:47Where are you aiming at?
00:02:48What do you think?
00:02:49How the hell am I supposed to know?
00:02:51You hit literally every other damn thing in the room except the bullseye.
00:02:54You know, Hank, that happens again.
00:02:56The rules say that if you catch the dart before it hits the floor, you can shoot again.
00:03:00Thanks.
00:03:01Have you ever caught a dart that bounced off the board?
00:03:02No.
00:03:03Have you ever seen anybody catch a dart that bounced off the board?
00:03:05No.
00:03:06Have you ever even heard a story about someone catching a dart that bounced off the board?
00:03:10No.
00:03:10Well, thanks.
00:03:11That's great advice.
00:03:12Are you trying to be cute, Hank?
00:03:14Now I'm gonna kick your ass.
00:03:15All right, dude.
00:03:16You got this.
00:03:16Come on.
00:03:19Showtime, baby!
00:03:20Showtime!
00:03:22Drinks?
00:03:23Yeah.
00:03:23Hey, thanks for the drinks.
00:03:37Our pleasure.
00:03:38Anytime.
00:03:39Showtime, baby!
00:03:41Showtime!
00:03:41That loss drops its number eight in the standings.
00:03:52One more and we're right out of the playoffs.
00:03:54Yeah.
00:03:54Dana was right.
00:03:55I didn't hit a bull all night.
00:03:56No.
00:03:57Bro, you just gotta learn how to close the game.
00:03:58Well, it doesn't help with you betting the whole tab on the match.
00:04:00Can we afford that?
00:04:01I know.
00:04:02I should have made a disclaimer like only their drinks, like you couldn't buy for Ian and Virgil,
00:04:05too.
00:04:06But how many are you?
00:04:07Oh, oh, Johnny Ray, he's just a good friend of mine.
00:04:14Dude, what are you doing?
00:04:16Is that about Jackie?
00:04:17Yeah, I just couldn't do the song with Jackie in it.
00:04:20Was that supposed to be Come on, Eileen?
00:04:22It's nowhere near the lyrics, dude.
00:04:24It's not about the song, Hank.
00:04:25What I'm talking about here is closing the deal.
00:04:27You only live once, bro.
00:04:28Yeah, okay.
00:04:29When's the last time you went on a date?
00:04:30I've dated most of the girls around here.
00:04:32I've just run out of options.
00:04:33It's a small town.
00:04:34I'm gonna die alone.
00:04:35You one other hand.
00:04:36Shut up, dude.
00:04:37I am the...
00:04:41I know.
00:04:42Fucking showtime.
00:04:43I'm never playing them again.
00:04:45I'm done.
00:04:45I hate them.
00:04:46It's so stupid.
00:04:47You know, next time, baby.
00:04:48Don't worry about it.
00:04:48Showtime.
00:04:49No showtime.
00:04:50It's so stupid.
00:04:51Hey, hey.
00:04:52Middle for the middle.
00:04:53See who opens the morning.
00:04:54Dude.
00:04:56Shit.
00:05:01Have a good night, man.
00:05:01Hey, Jackie.
00:05:22Hey, Hank.
00:05:24How was the match last night?
00:05:26Tough one, huh?
00:05:26We'll bounce back.
00:05:28You want something?
00:05:29Yeah.
00:05:29Uh, just some flights, I guess.
00:05:30What do those ones say on them?
00:05:31These?
00:05:32Uh, the ones next to them.
00:05:34Foxy Mama.
00:05:36That's funny, because I was gonna ask.
00:05:37Have you ever had one before?
00:05:40Um, no.
00:05:41Really?
00:05:42They're kind of awesome.
00:05:43In fact, you should come by the bar sometime.
00:05:45We could have one together.
00:05:46Yeah, I really don't think that's gonna be my thing.
00:05:49Come on, you can at least try one.
00:05:50I think you'll like it, and if for some reason you don't, I'll get you something else.
00:05:54What the hell are you talking about, Hank?
00:05:56What do you mean?
00:05:59Oh, okay.
00:06:00Ah.
00:06:01Oh, my God.
00:06:01I thought you said, um, Bahama Mama, like the drink.
00:06:04Ah, okay.
00:06:05Yeah, that makes way more sense.
00:06:07I was like, if he wants to share a Foxy Mama with me, have we met?
00:06:10No, um, sorry, it's in my head I heard Bahama Mama, I've been making drinks way too long.
00:06:14You just don't want them?
00:06:15Yeah, I gotta get them now, right?
00:06:17It's two bucks?
00:06:17Don't even worry about it.
00:06:18These are on me.
00:06:20Really?
00:06:21You come in here almost every day and buy something.
00:06:23I think I could let this slide.
00:06:24Oh, thanks.
00:06:25You're welcome.
00:06:29Um, I gotta get back to work, but thanks again.
00:06:34And seriously, if you want to come by the bar one night, I'll make us a couple of Bahama Mamas.
00:06:38Because maybe it'll be your thing.
00:06:41I might just pick you up on that.
00:06:45See ya.
00:06:51Hey, Hank.
00:06:52You still haven't gotten my latest check from when I produced Back to the Future, and I was wondering...
00:06:55You did not produce that movie.
00:06:57Yes, I did.
00:06:57No, you didn't.
00:06:58I looked it up.
00:06:59Yes, I did.
00:06:59I'm the one who told Bob to use a DeLorean.
00:07:01Do you know what the time machine was before that?
00:07:03A refrigerator.
00:07:05How bad would that movie have sucked if they used a refrigerator?
00:07:07Then how come you're not an IMDb?
00:07:09Because I'm the uncredited guy behind the scenes.
00:07:11My ass.
00:07:12You're a very kind young man.
00:07:21Ian, can I please bum off?
00:07:22Piss off.
00:07:23Here, Virgil.
00:07:24Someone left us here.
00:07:26Thanks, buddy.
00:07:27One of these days.
00:07:27No worries.
00:07:29All right.
00:07:30Another rusty DeL.
00:07:30Make it a double.
00:07:31Bro, this is pathetic.
00:07:38We need to do a ladies' night or something.
00:07:40We've had three.
00:07:41I wouldn't want to do karaoke night, though.
00:07:43That could be cool.
00:07:43Yeah, that could be cool.
00:07:44But we need something.
00:07:46Something big.
00:07:47Something different.
00:07:48Some way to get people in here.
00:07:49Hey.
00:07:49Real people.
00:07:50Oh.
00:07:51You gotta think outside the box.
00:07:55Let's go work on your bullseyes, and we'll try to pick up an idea.
00:07:57Let's go.
00:08:28I can hit the 20s through 15s all day.
00:08:29When it comes to the bullseyes, I have some kind of mental block.
00:08:31Rusty nail.
00:08:32One minute, Ian.
00:08:33Don't think about it.
00:08:34Just try throwing the dart as fast as you can without thinking.
00:08:39Crap.
00:08:39Still waiting on that drink, Hank.
00:08:41Yeah, Ian, one second.
00:08:42That's, that was better.
00:08:43Okay, now, I don't know.
00:08:45Move, move your stance a little bit.
00:08:47Okay, try throwing from a different angle.
00:08:48Switch things up, but don't think about it.
00:08:49Jesus Christ, give me those things, would you, before you hurt yourself?
00:08:51Wait.
00:08:52Hank, give me some room.
00:08:57Rusty nail.
00:08:59Now.
00:09:11What the fuck?
00:09:12Was it two doubles on one?
00:09:14All right.
00:09:15Is that five bulls?
00:09:16Five.
00:09:16It was two doubles on the one, wasn't it?
00:09:18That was amazing.
00:09:19Here.
00:09:20Yeah.
00:09:21How'd you do that?
00:09:21Here.
00:09:22On the house.
00:09:24How'd I do that?
00:09:25I imagine the bullseye was your face.
00:09:27You want to throw a game with us?
00:09:28No.
00:09:28Why not?
00:09:29Because you're idiots.
00:09:30Whoa.
00:09:31Who are you calling an idiot?
00:09:32I've sat here and watched you guys throw hundreds of games, and you suck ass.
00:09:35I'd rather throw darts in my own nuts.
00:09:37We're not idiots, are we?
00:09:39No.
00:09:39He's an asshole.
00:09:40Hey, turn this up, would you?
00:09:43Oh, what?
00:09:44Oh, Hank, with sugar and cinnamon and whatever the hell else you like, would you please turn this up?
00:09:50You could write a children's book.
00:09:52Hi, I'm Dirk McIntyre, and I'm standing outside Uptown Social with Nicky and Lance Gallia,
00:09:56the brother duo from Manchester, England, who some believe are the greatest to ever play the game, darts.
00:09:59They're here in Chicago to play for their 10th World Darts Championship.
00:10:02First time it's ever been held in our country.
00:10:03Welcome to America, gentlemen.
00:10:04Yeah, we're here to play some team from some place for the World Championship.
00:10:08Who gives a cock?
00:10:08Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:10:09Gentlemen, I need to remind you that we are on national television.
00:10:11Oh, so sorry.
00:10:13In that case,
00:10:14So, you're playing the American champs,
00:10:19Jules, the Dutch Dragon Van Dongen, and Chuck Pipes Puglio for your 10th World title.
00:10:22Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dutch Robin and the Pips.
00:10:23We played him 100 times in every different format, and we're 100 now.
00:10:27It's embarrassing, honestly.
00:10:29We're embarrassed for the entire nation.
00:10:30But it would tie you with the legendary Alistair Whitman.
00:10:33him the f***ing wanker.
00:10:34Again, national television.
00:10:36And he is considered to be the greatest dart player that's ever lived.
00:10:38In fact, didn't he come out of retirement to beat U2 for the Manchester Cup?
00:10:41What the f*** would you bring that up for?
00:10:42He couldn't carry me.
00:10:43F***ing sack him.
00:10:44We're the best that's ever been, and that's a f***ing sack.
00:10:46So, you've been to town for a while,
00:10:47and the rumor is that it's not just to tune up for the big match.
00:10:49We're there to record our first f***ing album.
00:10:52So, the rumor's confirmed.
00:10:53Is there anything you can tell us about the record?
00:10:55All you need to know, friend,
00:10:56is it's going to be the best f***ing thing you've ever f***ing heard
00:10:59in your own miserable goddamn life.
00:11:01Gotcha.
00:11:02Do you have a name for this upcoming record?
00:11:03No, we don't have a f***ing title yet.
00:11:04It doesn't f***ing matter, does it?
00:11:06It's going to be the biggest f***ing thing ever.
00:11:08I'm sure it will be.
00:11:09Is there anything you want to say to Jules and Chuck before the match?
00:11:11Yeah, yeah.
00:11:12F*** you, you f***ing tossers, all right?
00:11:14You f***ing upper brains.
00:11:16So, f***.
00:11:19Understood.
00:11:20And fellas, before you go, I've got to ask.
00:11:22It's night time.
00:11:23Why are you two wearing sunglasses?
00:11:23Why are you two?
00:11:24I'm about to punch you in the face right now.
00:11:26We have daytime sunnies, nighttime sunnies,
00:11:28rock and roll sunnies, and dark throwing sunnies.
00:11:29And we never, ever take off our sunnies.
00:11:33Do you even have sleeping sunglasses?
00:11:35F*** yeah!
00:11:40What a great couple of guys.
00:11:41Well, the best two out of three World Darts Championship match
00:11:43will be broadcast here from Uptown Social Live
00:11:45tomorrow night in Chicago.
00:11:46You won't want to miss it.
00:11:47What's this, bro?
00:11:48Who gives a s***?
00:11:49Dude, we should go in the city and watch this match tomorrow night.
00:11:51Hell yeah, I'm down.
00:11:52All right.
00:11:53Ooh, who's going to watch the bar?
00:11:56Eh, diddle for the middle.
00:11:57Hey, you made it.
00:12:17I couldn't go another day without trying a Bahama Mama.
00:12:20Coming right up.
00:12:21I'm going to take a beer and a whiskey meek.
00:12:25Showtime, baby!
00:12:26Showtime!
00:12:28Hey, buddy, where's Hank?
00:12:30How about later we'll play for tonight's bar tab, too?
00:12:32Showtime, baby!
00:12:35Showtime!
00:12:35Don't you two get tired of being you, too?
00:12:38No.
00:12:38No.
00:12:41There you are.
00:12:42Cheers.
00:12:43Cheers.
00:12:48That is really good.
00:12:49I told you.
00:12:50How are those flights treating you?
00:12:52They were good.
00:12:53Not Bahama Mama good, but they're not bad.
00:12:55Yeah, I came by last night.
00:12:57You were here?
00:12:58Only for a second.
00:12:59You were throwing, and I didn't want to bother.
00:13:00No, no, no.
00:13:00You should have said something.
00:13:01I was, um, I was looking forward to seeing you.
00:13:03Nick, today's the day.
00:13:09You've always been so nice to me, and you're a very kind young man.
00:13:13I want to give you something.
00:13:14I appreciate it.
00:13:14Thank you, Virgil, but that's not necessary.
00:13:16No, no, no.
00:13:17I want to.
00:13:17You're very kind, and I hope I'm not offending you.
00:13:20No, no, no.
00:13:20You're not offending me.
00:13:21I'm just in the middle of something, so...
00:13:22Great, because you're very kind, and I want to give you something.
00:13:24Come here.
00:13:26I am here.
00:13:27No, closer.
00:13:27It's a secret.
00:13:30Closer.
00:13:30What I want to give you, I'm not offending you, am I?
00:13:35Not with anything you've said.
00:13:37Good, because you're very kind.
00:13:38What I want to give you, it's about this big, and it's real.
00:13:42At least it feels real.
00:13:44I'm sure I'm not offending you.
00:13:45Um, I don't...
00:13:46I don't think so.
00:13:47I don't know.
00:13:48Well, a famous actor buddy of mine I met on Point Break,
00:13:51he gave this to me back in the 90s.
00:13:53I think he paid a fortune for it then, and it's real.
00:13:55Like I said, I mean, it feels real,
00:13:57and it's got real hair on it and everything.
00:14:00And I used to use it all the time,
00:14:02but I'm getting older and stuff,
00:14:04and I can't really get it going anymore.
00:14:06So now I want you to have it.
00:14:09Um, no.
00:14:11I don't think so.
00:14:12Do you understand what I'm trying to give you a hand?
00:14:14Yeah, I think I do, but I'm not...
00:14:15You're making a big mistake.
00:14:17This once belongs to...
00:14:17Jesus Christ, Virgil.
00:14:18No one wants your old, used, deathtrap of a pocket.
00:14:20Hey, thank you, Ian.
00:14:23I'm sure you don't want it.
00:14:24Ugh.
00:14:27Make some noise!
00:14:28Come on!
00:14:28Representing the United States of America,
00:14:32the challengers.
00:14:33Let's hear it for Jules,
00:14:35the Dutch Dragon Van Doggen,
00:14:36and Chucky Pikes Paleo.
00:14:38Here at Chucky, Chucky, Chucky.
00:14:41Jules, Jules, Jules, Jules.
00:14:43Make some noise for these guys.
00:14:44Come on, let's hear it.
00:14:46Everybody say, oh yeah!
00:14:47Yay!
00:14:48Hey, thanks to the bar tab,
00:14:50they don't make it to a third game.
00:14:51Oh.
00:14:51And from Manchester, England,
00:14:54ladies and gentlemen,
00:14:55the defending nine-time world champions,
00:14:58the undisputed masters, my friends.
00:15:00They're going for the record tonight.
00:15:01They're going for number 10.
00:15:02You think they can do it?
00:15:03Well, ladies and gentlemen,
00:15:04let's hear it for Nicky,
00:15:05the Manchester mauler,
00:15:07galleon,
00:15:07and Lance Prettybar, galleon.
00:15:09The galleon brothers.
00:15:10Let's hear it.
00:15:11Woo!
00:15:11Woo!
00:15:11Woo!
00:15:12Woo!
00:15:12Woo!
00:15:13Woo!
00:15:13Woo!
00:15:14Woo!
00:15:14Woo!
00:15:15Woo!
00:15:15Woo!
00:15:15Woo!
00:15:17Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
00:15:20and welcome to tonight's
00:15:21World Darts Championship match.
00:15:22I'm joined in the booth
00:15:23by the one and only
00:15:24former national champion himself,
00:15:25Sean Grafton.
00:15:26Welcome aboard, Sean.
00:15:26Thanks a lot for having me, Derek.
00:15:27Glad to be here.
00:15:28Absolutely.
00:15:29So, do you have any thoughts
00:15:30on tonight's match?
00:15:31The Americans are going to have
00:15:31a tough road ahead of them.
00:15:32The galleon brothers are the best team
00:15:33in the world
00:15:33and have never lost a single game
00:15:34to Jules and Chuck.
00:15:35They have a tough road indeed.
00:15:36Do you have any advice for them?
00:15:37I would tell the Americans,
00:15:38since there's a lot of bad blood
00:15:38between the two teams,
00:15:39just to relax.
00:15:40Don't let the galleon brothers
00:15:41get under their skin.
00:15:42Sounds like good advice.
00:15:43Well, let's go down to the Aki
00:15:44as the match is about to begin.
00:15:45Hey, do we get free drinks
00:15:46in the booth,
00:15:47or do I have to bring my own?
00:15:49Hello, gentlemen.
00:15:50Shake hands and shit well.
00:15:51Uh-huh.
00:15:52For fuck's sake.
00:15:53You two mugs again.
00:15:54America's fucking huge.
00:15:55There's got to be somebody
00:15:56better than you two
00:15:57from sea to shining sea.
00:15:58Who would have beat your assholes
00:15:59and healed this time
00:16:00if you didn't cheat?
00:16:00Who the fuck needs to cheat
00:16:01to beat you two tosses?
00:16:02What do you call messing around
00:16:03every time we're with the board?
00:16:03Okay, okay, fellas.
00:16:05Go back to your tables
00:16:05and let's play some darts.
00:16:09You know,
00:16:10I haven't thrown darts
00:16:10in about a month.
00:16:13This one's for your mums.
00:16:15And this one,
00:16:16he just hit a triple 20
00:16:17without even looking at the board.
00:16:18Then a triple 19.
00:16:19And this last one,
00:16:19he can't possibly hit the 18, too, can he?
00:16:22Oh, my God, he did it.
00:16:23He threw a white horse
00:16:24without looking.
00:16:25That's even more amazing
00:16:26than Jordan's no-look free throws.
00:16:27It's unbelievable.
00:16:28Where's my drink?
00:16:29That was amazing.
00:16:31I'm telling you
00:16:31they're the best ever.
00:16:35It's gonna be impossible
00:16:36to overcome that amazing turn
00:16:37at the Aki.
00:16:39Let's go!
00:16:40We're gonna be releasing
00:16:41our greatest stints album
00:16:42before you throw a dart.
00:16:43Why don't you show
00:16:43some sportmanship
00:16:44and let me take my turn?
00:16:45Hey, pull that shit again
00:16:46like you did in Germany.
00:16:47I'm gonna kick your ass.
00:16:51The galleons have completely
00:16:53taken the wind
00:16:53out of their sails.
00:16:56A single 17.
00:16:57Is this some kind of a joke?
00:17:03This is the best your country
00:17:04has to offer?
00:17:05The bad blood continues.
00:17:08Just threw a punch at Lance.
00:17:09Oh, it looks like
00:17:10you may have hit Jules.
00:17:10Broke my nose.
00:17:11What the hell just happened?
00:17:12Fuck your nose.
00:17:12I broke my time here.
00:17:16Drinks!
00:17:17The match has been canceled.
00:17:18The match has been canceled.
00:17:19This is the first
00:17:20World Darts Championship
00:17:21that's gonna be a no decision.
00:17:22It's unbelievable.
00:17:22I've never seen anything like it.
00:17:23So there's still time
00:17:24to get my drink
00:17:24and do this up, okay?
00:17:36What in fuck is wrong with you?
00:17:37Can't you see we're creating?
00:17:38We have a problem.
00:17:40You're about to have a bigger one
00:17:41when I shove this face
00:17:42up your ass.
00:17:44What do we get?
00:17:45Wilkins and Williams.
00:17:47Ah, there's Hubert and Michaels.
00:17:49No piss-off.
00:17:50Why do we have to play
00:17:52any of these pot waffles anyway?
00:17:53Because we are trying
00:17:54to bring this sport to America
00:17:56and if you want to be global stars,
00:17:58sell out your music tour here
00:17:59and get minted,
00:18:00then we need a championship match
00:18:02where you don't start a fight
00:18:03and insult the entire nation.
00:18:05Well, I'll feel sorry for him
00:18:06if that's the best day I've
00:18:07because those two
00:18:07are a couple of muggy bitches.
00:18:09See, that's exactly
00:18:10what I'm talking about.
00:18:12By the way,
00:18:13we're sick of playing
00:18:13fucking cricket.
00:18:14You threw exactly
00:18:15three dots at cricket.
00:18:17What are you talking about?
00:18:18This was just delivered
00:18:19from the Galean brothers
00:18:20and the man said
00:18:21it was urgent.
00:18:23It's probably another love letter
00:18:24from Emma Watson.
00:18:26Oi, is he still here?
00:18:27No, he left immediately.
00:18:29What does it say?
00:18:31I have something you want.
00:18:33You have something I want.
00:18:34If you want a chance
00:18:35to win back the only trophy
00:18:36you ever lost,
00:18:37then we found our team.
00:18:40Dark side of the moon?
00:18:41They're a level C pub team.
00:18:45You'll destroy them.
00:18:46I know.
00:18:47It's bloody perfect.
00:18:57Hey, how much, uh,
00:18:59what deal you got in the bank?
00:19:01Not a lot.
00:19:01Why?
00:19:04Is everything okay?
00:19:05Yeah.
00:19:06Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:19:06Just curious.
00:19:08That's all.
00:19:09I'm out.
00:19:10Hey!
00:19:11Oh, yeah.
00:19:11Come on in.
00:19:12It's ladies.
00:19:13Hey, first drink's on the house.
00:19:16Yeah, come, sit down.
00:19:17I'll tell you about the time
00:19:18I had dinner
00:19:19with the president of Botswana.
00:19:21I think we're in the wrong spot.
00:19:22No, no, no.
00:19:23No, no, no.
00:19:23This is the right spot.
00:19:24We can throw in a second round, too.
00:19:27Oh, you know,
00:19:28they just texted.
00:19:29They're at the Ritz.
00:19:30Oh, great.
00:19:31Let's go.
00:19:32Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
00:19:33Come back.
00:19:33We can do a third round.
00:19:35What the hell, Virgil?
00:19:36What'd I do?
00:19:39I thought that third round
00:19:40might...
00:19:41Hi, I'm looking for
00:19:43Hank Fuller
00:19:43and Austin Turner.
00:19:45Uh, I'm Hank
00:19:46and this is Austin.
00:19:48Who are you?
00:19:49Some sort of build collector?
00:19:50No.
00:19:51I'm Lester Harrison,
00:19:52chairman of the
00:19:52Championship Darts Corporation.
00:19:54Oh, crap.
00:19:54I think I forgot to send
00:19:55in our dues.
00:19:56This isn't about that.
00:19:57This is something much different.
00:19:58I'm here to offer you boys
00:20:00the opportunity of a lifetime.
00:20:02How would you like to play
00:20:03the Galleon Brothers
00:20:03for the Darts Championship
00:20:05of the world?
00:20:07What?
00:20:07This is a good joke.
00:20:08No, this is completely
00:20:09on the level.
00:20:10After the no decision last night,
00:20:12we've decided to give
00:20:13an unknown team
00:20:14a shot at the title.
00:20:15And we've chosen you.
00:20:18Why?
00:20:19Picture this.
00:20:20An unknown team
00:20:21comes from nowhere
00:20:22with a shot
00:20:24at the greatest title
00:20:25in the world of darts.
00:20:27Think of what it'll do
00:20:28for the sport,
00:20:29for every little kid
00:20:29who ever picks up a dart
00:20:30and dreams that maybe
00:20:31one day
00:20:32they too can be
00:20:33a world champion.
00:20:34We could pay anything to play.
00:20:37No, but $100,000
00:20:40goes to the winner.
00:20:42We'll do it.
00:20:43Wait a minute.
00:20:43Wait a minute.
00:20:44We're not going to win $100,000.
00:20:45We can't even beat Mitch and Dana.
00:20:47These guys are going to destroy us.
00:20:48Yeah, of course they are.
00:20:49It's going to be a massacre.
00:20:50Who cares?
00:20:51This is what you're looking for, Hank.
00:20:53The promo for the bar.
00:20:55It's going to be on TV, right?
00:20:57See?
00:20:57This is amazing.
00:20:58We can wear our pub t-shirts
00:20:59for the whole country to see.
00:21:00Talk to the beacher,
00:21:01see if they're doing
00:21:01an article on us.
00:21:02I don't know, get on the radio,
00:21:03talk about the match,
00:21:04promote the bar.
00:21:04It's amazing, bro.
00:21:06Austin.
00:21:07I'm Hank.
00:21:08Hank, your mate is making
00:21:09a lot of sense.
00:21:10What do you say, gentlemen?
00:21:12Hell yeah.
00:21:12We're in.
00:21:16Awesome.
00:21:18All right.
00:21:19Let's get started.
00:21:25A decade later, I can see
00:21:28Finally broke the scale
00:21:33So every rule of consequence
00:21:36Remind me where I've been
00:21:43Don't stay
00:21:46I would be better away again
00:21:50I would be better to wait a day
00:21:55Don't say
00:21:59I'm feeling these going kicking
00:22:04All right, guys, guys, it's coming on.
00:22:11It looks like there's been a shakeup in the world of darts.
00:22:13In an unprecedented move, the Championship Darts Corporation
00:22:15has chosen Dart Side of the Moon,
00:22:18an unknown Michigan City team to play for the World Darts Championship.
00:22:21Do we know what city in Michigan they're from?
00:22:23Michigan City, Indiana!
00:22:25Anyways, the match will take place this Saturday at 8 p.m.
00:22:27here at Uptown Social.
00:22:28You can catch it here live,
00:22:29but if you'd like to go down and cheer on the underdogs in person,
00:22:31you might want to get there early,
00:22:32because this one probably won't last long.
00:22:33Good luck, fellas.
00:22:35That sucked.
00:22:38Well, I should get back to the shop.
00:22:41But I thought it was great.
00:22:44Hey, Jackie, um,
00:22:46do you want to come to the match on Saturday?
00:22:48They're going to destroy us,
00:22:49and it's going to be really embarrassing,
00:22:50but it would be cool to have you there.
00:22:52Um, I bought a ticket the moment you told me about it.
00:23:03Are we going to make complete fools of ourselves on national TV?
00:23:05Yeah, you will, unless you do exactly what I say.
00:23:08What happened to you?
00:23:10You want a chance to win?
00:23:12Win what?
00:23:13The World Darts Championship, Hank.
00:23:14We're not trying to win.
00:23:16They're the best ever. Don't be ridiculous.
00:23:17They are not the best ever,
00:23:18but with that attitude, you will make asses of yourselves.
00:23:20Do you think we actually have a chance to beat them?
00:23:22I know this.
00:23:23If I teach you and coach you,
00:23:24you will not go on national television
00:23:25and look like complete morons.
00:23:27I don't know. We're going to do it a few days.
00:23:31We're certainly not going to get any worse.
00:23:33Besides, we should try to be our best, right?
00:23:34We're going to be shooting on national TV,
00:23:36playing with shirts with Michigan City and the pub on them.
00:23:38We can't show up like we don't give a shit, right?
00:23:42All right. All right.
00:23:43Let's get to work. We've got a lot to do.
00:23:45Now? Now!
00:23:48Can we get some more drinks here?
00:23:49Yeah, sure. Hey, what are you doing?
00:23:51Going to go get some drinks?
00:23:52No, no, no, no. We're training.
00:23:54What about our customers?
00:23:55It's not my problem. Find a solution now.
00:23:59Well, I guess we don't need any drinks.
00:24:01Hold on.
00:24:02I didn't give an idea.
00:24:04What about... you think?
00:24:07He's always here anyway.
00:24:09Yeah, sure. Why not?
00:24:11Hey, Virgil, you want a job?
00:24:14Doing what?
00:24:15Attendant bar.
00:24:16We can't pay much and you're going to make crappy tips, but...
00:24:18Okay.
00:24:19Have you ever attended bar before?
00:24:20I mean, I used to own the most popular bistro in Paris.
00:24:22We had...
00:24:23All right. Let me show you a few things.
00:24:24No, that's okay. I got it.
00:24:32I didn't know you had a neighbor.
00:24:33Eh, pour vous, monsieur.
00:24:35Oh.
00:24:36A vodka martini, extra dirty, and a Zorn after two.
00:24:39Huh. I did not see that coming.
00:24:48It's like watching a horse ride a bike.
00:24:52The five things it takes to be a great dart player.
00:25:05Number one, how to stand at the Aki.
00:25:06It's an Aki.
00:25:07Aki is the line you throw the darts from.
00:25:08Why don't you sit in line?
00:25:09Because it's called an Aki.
00:25:10Your feet should be a foot to a foot and a half apart.
00:25:14Your feet should be a foot to a foot and a half apart.
00:25:15Your weight balanced upon your front leg with a line from the 20 through the bullseye to the middle of your foot.
00:25:19Yep.
00:25:20The back leg behaves as a kickstand.
00:25:21You should be comfortable and relaxed.
00:25:22Number two, how to throw away darts.
00:25:23I know how to throw away darts.
00:25:24Here's the line you throw the darts from.
00:25:25Why don't you sit in line?
00:25:26Because it's called an Aki.
00:25:27Your feet should be a foot to a foot and a half apart.
00:25:28Your weight balanced upon your front leg with a line from the 20 through the bullseye to the middle of your foot.
00:25:35Yep.
00:25:36Your back leg behaves as a kickstand.
00:25:39You should be comfortable and relaxed.
00:25:42Comfortable?
00:25:43Are we relaxed?
00:25:44Gentlemen, I can't tell you how concerned I am as to whether you're comfortable and relaxed or not.
00:25:49Number two, how to throw away darts.
00:25:50I know how to throw.
00:25:51Shut up.
00:25:52Arm raised at a 90 degree angle, your forearm completely straight.
00:25:55Aim, draw back, fire, and follow through.
00:25:59Ideally, there should be as little movement as possible.
00:26:03Good.
00:26:04Do that a couple thousand times.
00:26:05Thousand?
00:26:06A couple thousand while I watch.
00:26:08Fellas, I'm going to teach you as my father taught me.
00:26:11With hard work, respect, and dedication for the game.
00:26:14When I'm done with you, you will know darts.
00:26:16Better yet, you will know yourselves.
00:26:19I will make you dart-throwing machines.
00:26:22I will also make you gentlemen of the sport.
00:26:26People are laughing at us.
00:26:35Yeah, they are.
00:26:36You look ridiculous.
00:26:37Get used to it.
00:26:38Hank, you can't hit bullseyes when you're all alone at home.
00:26:41What do you think is going to happen when you're at the World Dart Championship?
00:26:43There's a huge crowd of people there and TV cameras pointed directly at you.
00:26:46Holy shit.
00:26:47Holy shit is right.
00:26:48Which is why I want you guys to do two things for me.
00:26:50Number one, no drinking before the match.
00:26:51Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:26:52No drinking?
00:26:53Correct.
00:26:54You mean while we're throwing?
00:26:55No, I mean no drinking.
00:26:56But what about when practice is over and I said no drinking?
00:26:58Period.
00:26:59Hold on, but I like to wind down after long.
00:27:00Then get Harvey Wallbanger to coach you.
00:27:02Number two, I got a task on this piece of paper that I want you to complete before the match.
00:27:10Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:27:11I didn't say stop throwing.
00:27:12Get back to the hockey.
00:27:14As little movement as possible, right?
00:27:16Little movement as possible.
00:27:17How long, dude?
00:27:18You both look like pigs.
00:27:23You sure this is what he meant?
00:27:24What is said on the piece of paper?
00:27:25It's crazy.
00:27:26It's a practice sport.
00:27:27It's going to take us forever to finish the game.
00:27:28I know, but we said we'd do it, so let's do it.
00:27:32Do we have to do it like this?
00:27:34I don't know.
00:27:35But we're here, so throw.
00:27:37What happened?
00:27:38You both always lose a bet?
00:27:41Fuck this.
00:27:42I'm out of here.
00:27:43Thank God.
00:27:44Austin.
00:27:45What?
00:27:46Austin.
00:27:55Number three, strategy.
00:27:57We must always stay one step ahead of our opponents.
00:28:00They close one number.
00:28:01We close the next.
00:28:02They go for points.
00:28:03We go for more.
00:28:04We never play their game, fellas.
00:28:06And we wait for them to make the one little mistake that allows us to bounce and defeat them.
00:28:15Hank the Hammer.
00:28:16Number four.
00:28:17You gotta have a cool nickname.
00:28:19It is pretty cool.
00:28:20Yeah, because you're not being called a tosser.
00:28:37Ace at 18.
00:28:38I'm trying.
00:28:39Okay.
00:28:40Ah!
00:28:41Give me a number.
00:28:4217, triple 13.
00:28:43On it.
00:28:44Okay.
00:28:45Lower.
00:28:46Nope.
00:28:47Nope.
00:28:48I'm leaving.
00:28:49Austin.
00:28:50Nope.
00:28:51Austin.
00:28:52Nope.
00:28:53Austin!
00:28:54I don't know what to do.
00:28:55I tried everything.
00:28:56Hey, what's your favorite number to throw at?
00:28:57Anything besides the bowls.
00:28:58No, I mean, what's your favorite number?
00:28:59Every dart player has a favorite number.
00:29:00I like 18s.
00:29:01Okay.
00:29:02Do you think you can hit 18 in that circle?
00:29:03I think so, yeah.
00:29:04All right.
00:29:05Let me see.
00:29:06Good.
00:29:07Now, the next time you throw, aim at that dart.
00:29:08Just use it as a marker.
00:29:09Okay.
00:29:10Yeah, I see that, but the 18s are easy.
00:29:13It's the bullseye can't hit.
00:29:14Yes, you can.
00:29:15The bullseye is a circle, one and a half inches in diameter.
00:29:17It's actually one of the larger landing areas on the board.
00:29:18It's just a big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big.
00:29:21Okay, yeah, I see that, but the 18s are easy.
00:29:28It's the bullseye can't hit.
00:29:29Yes, you can.
00:29:30The bullseye is a circle, one and a half inches in diameter.
00:29:33It's actually one of the larger landing areas on the board.
00:29:35It's just an optical illusion.
00:29:37That space you just hit all those 18s is the same size as the bullseye.
00:29:42If you can hit those 18s, you can hit the bulls.
00:29:44That's all there is to it.
00:29:46Now, throw at the bulls, but in your mind, just imagine that big, open space where you hit all those 18s.
00:29:50It's just an 18, right?
00:29:55Breathe, picture the 18.
00:29:59Awesome. Did you see that? Way to go, man.
00:30:13That's how you do it.
00:30:15The one out of three is not gonna cut it, so let's get back to work.
00:30:19I can tell you this, the Galleon brothers are taking this more seriously than you guys are.
00:30:22Hallelujah.
00:30:24The game!
00:30:29So then I thought, is it a gift from Adam to know that we're going to die?
00:30:34Right.
00:30:35Yeah, well, you should probably be sued.
00:30:38Is that an Mbop tattoo on your wrist?
00:30:40Yeah, but it's pronounced Mbop, love.
00:30:42Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's Mbop.
00:30:44No, it's Mbop.
00:30:45Anyway, why do you have a tattoo of a terrible song on your arm?
00:30:48A terrible song? Are you fucking kidding me?
00:30:50Have you ever listened to the lyrics?
00:30:51Yeah, don't they just say Mbop over and over again?
00:30:54No, Lord.
00:30:55It's a song about relationships and getting older, losing you there.
00:31:00And flowers.
00:31:01It's like the Beatles when I'm 64.
00:31:04Or Shakespeare.
00:31:05Or Yates.
00:31:06It's fucking poetry, don't you?
00:31:08Here, listen to this.
00:31:10Can you tell me?
00:31:11Oh, no, you can't, because you don't know.
00:31:16Can you tell me?
00:31:18You say you can, but you don't know.
00:31:21Can you tell me, oh, which flower is going to grow?
00:31:26No, I can't, because you don't know.
00:31:29Can you tell me whether it'll be a daisy or a rose?
00:31:34You say you can, but you don't know.
00:31:37Yeah, Mbop is still a terrible song.
00:31:41It's Mbop.
00:31:42I didn't finish telling you the lyrics.
00:31:45Lastly, and most important, number five.
00:31:48Release the pressure.
00:31:51At all times, we want to be calm, relaxed, and in focus.
00:31:56My father would say that when he was in the zone,
00:31:58everything else in the world would go away.
00:32:00It was just him, his darts, and the dartboard.
00:32:04Don't let anything rattle you.
00:32:07If we respond, we do not react.
00:32:09And remember...
00:32:11Breathe.
00:32:20There we go.
00:32:22What do you want, what do you want?
00:32:24Bullseyes.
00:32:25It's time for bullseyes.
00:32:26Easy.
00:32:27I mean hard.
00:32:31Closer, closer.
00:32:32Don't leave me hanging.
00:32:33I won't leave you hanging out.
00:32:34There it is.
00:32:35Bullseyes.
00:32:36Bullseyes.
00:32:52Hey.
00:32:56How's it going?
00:32:57I'm on my way to training.
00:32:58I just wanted to come by and see you real quick.
00:33:00Great.
00:33:01How are you holding up?
00:33:02Big matches tomorrow.
00:33:03Yeah.
00:33:04It's crazy, right?
00:33:05You're still coming, aren't you?
00:33:06Of course.
00:33:07I'm so excited.
00:33:08And just think, pretty soon, you're going to be world champs.
00:33:11I don't know about that.
00:33:13Hey.
00:33:14Good luck tomorrow.
00:33:15We're all watching and rooting for you.
00:33:17Thanks, man.
00:33:18See?
00:33:19Well, what I was going to say is, I don't know if we'll win,
00:33:21but if we can at least make it go to three games, that would be amazing.
00:33:24Nah, you're going to win.
00:33:26And when you do, you better not forget about us.
00:33:28Impossible.
00:33:30You guys have worked hard.
00:33:32Come a long way.
00:33:33There's just one thing left.
00:33:34What's that?
00:33:35Play me in a game of darts.
00:33:40Shoot well, gentlemen.
00:33:41Show me the best that you got, and I'll show you one better.
00:33:54Show me your red is frozen, I'll show you one redder.
00:34:00Tell me a dirty joke, and I'll laugh it off lightly.
00:34:06Tell you a dirty joke, you might not like me.
00:34:12Everyone gets to make one big mistake.
00:34:18And if you wait, you know me, well, I guess you're going to have to wait.
00:34:24And wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and everyone gets to make one big mistake.
00:34:40And if you're waiting on me, well, I guess you're going to have to wait.
00:34:46And wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait for the next to make one big mistake.
00:34:52What's that, Papa?
00:34:53Oh, it's very pretty quick.
00:34:55And if you know me, well, I guess you're going to have to wait.
00:34:59Hey, hey, hey, hey, you're going to have to wait without saving my night for a very, very special day.
00:35:06It doesn't matter if it's all you have had in our time in all of the most spectacular way.
00:35:12Show me the best that you've got, and I'll show you one better.
00:35:18All right, tomorrow I'll pick you guys up before the match.
00:35:22We'll go over everything, make sure you're in the right frame of mind.
00:35:27Oh, and I don't think I'm proud of you guys or anything.
00:35:35Can you believe we just beat Ian?
00:35:37Bro, we might have a chance at winning tomorrow.
00:35:39Yeah.
00:35:41Excuse me.
00:35:42Hey.
00:35:43Sorry to interrupt.
00:35:44Can I talk to you for a minute?
00:35:45Yeah, sure.
00:35:46Yeah.
00:35:47Take your time.
00:35:53Hey, Virgil.
00:35:54You, uh, you did me a favor.
00:35:56So, I got you something for the match tomorrow.
00:35:58You did?
00:35:59Yeah, it's not much, and you don't have to use them if you don't want to, but I just thought...
00:36:05Turn it around.
00:36:06Turn it around.
00:36:08This is great.
00:36:09Oh, I'm definitely going to wear this tomorrow.
00:36:13And one for Austin.
00:36:19He's going to hate it.
00:36:20It's great.
00:36:22And I didn't know if Ian had a nickname, so...
00:36:27Yeah, that's...
00:36:29That's him.
00:36:30That'll do it.
00:36:32Of course.
00:36:33So, uh, where did the name Good News come from?
00:36:37My grandparents were collectors.
00:36:39They used to take me on these long drives where we'd go to these little shops and they'd find these great pieces.
00:36:44My grandmother used to find a piece she loved and say, well, here's some good news.
00:36:49I always got a kick out of that.
00:36:50That's cute.
00:36:51So what about you, Hank?
00:36:52Was it always your dream to own a bar and play the World Darts Championship?
00:36:57No.
00:36:58No, not even close.
00:36:59Um, the bar's been in the family forever, but it's sat empty for years, and then after Mom died and me and Austin moved back, we were like, hey, let's get the old pub up and running again, so...
00:37:08So you and Austin?
00:37:10Half brothers.
00:37:11Different dads.
00:37:12Huh.
00:37:13I didn't know that.
00:37:15Hey.
00:37:16Ooh.
00:37:17Do you have a few minutes?
00:37:18Sure, what's up?
00:37:19I want to show you something real quick.
00:37:20Here, come on.
00:37:21Here I go.
00:37:23All of the signs point to you.
00:37:26Like something divine, and I hope this is forever.
00:37:31Who is that?
00:37:32That is Jay.
00:37:34He's great, right?
00:37:35Amazing.
00:37:36How did I not know about this?
00:37:38He doesn't publicize it.
00:37:39He just does these little impromptu shows, and if you're in the know, you get a little alert when what's happening.
00:37:45It's pretty cool, right?
00:37:46Very cool.
00:37:47Can I be in the know?
00:37:49Think we could work something, huh?
00:37:59So then, what is your dream, right?
00:38:04What?
00:38:05You can tell me.
00:38:06It can't be that bad.
00:38:08I've always wanted to do that.
00:38:11Sing?
00:38:14Sing something for me.
00:38:15No.
00:38:16Why not?
00:38:17It makes me nervous.
00:38:19Why?
00:38:20I don't know.
00:38:21It's just you're up there all alone, and people are staring at you.
00:38:23It's just...
00:38:25Well, you gotta try.
00:38:26Close your eyes.
00:38:27Picture everybody in their underwear.
00:38:29Have a Bahama Mama or two.
00:38:31You'll be great.
00:38:32You're gonna sing for me one day, Hank Boy.
00:38:35Hmm.
00:38:36After all this training we've been doing with Ian, I've been thinking about giving it a shot.
00:38:41I'm gonna hold you to it.
00:38:42I'm gonna hold you to it.
00:38:43Thank you for taking me.
00:38:44I...
00:38:45Ugh.
00:38:46His voice was so good.
00:38:47Of course.
00:38:48I'm glad it came up, you know?
00:38:49And I'm in the know now, right?
00:38:50Officially, yeah.
00:38:51Okay.
00:38:52Hold it to it.
00:38:53Hey, do you wanna come up for a glass of wine?
00:38:54I don't have the stuff to make at Bahama Mama, but...
00:38:55Sounds good.
00:38:56Cool.
00:38:57Is Austin here?
00:38:58Austin?
00:38:59He's probably sold the bar.
00:39:00Oh.
00:39:01Oh.
00:39:02Wow.
00:39:03Okay.
00:39:04Why?
00:39:05I mean, I...
00:39:06I...
00:39:07Oh, I'm glad you came up for a glass of wine.
00:39:08I don't have the stuff to make at Bahama Mama, but...
00:39:10Sounds good.
00:39:11Cool.
00:39:20Is Austin here?
00:39:22Austin?
00:39:23He's probably sold the bar.
00:39:25great place did you design it yourself thank you yeah pretty much um tv and dark water austin's
00:39:34can i use your bathroom yeah yeah let me show you where that is here you go
00:39:42do you see me i don't know i think so okay yeah look what do we do should we stay we should go
00:39:50oh my god okay i'm so sorry let's just head out my time like this never happens
00:39:55egg yeah is that that you yeah okay uh i'll be out just a minute
00:40:05i'll see you at the match tomorrow they're gonna be great yeah
00:40:20whoa dude are you okay sorry about that um it's been a little bit stressed and
00:40:27just trying to blow off some steam by getting herpes dude virgil has been using that thing
00:40:33since the 90s i know i've hit an all-time low what are you stressed about dude we're gonna
00:40:38be great it's not about the match it's what i can help what is it no no no no i got it i got
00:40:43it i tell you i sure could use a drink right about now ian said we have to do exactly as
00:40:48he says if you drink and that he's not gonna know yeah but i will
00:40:51look i i gotta i gotta throw this thing away carrying around a bag full of shame
00:40:59go for a little walk and collect my thoughts you can talk about this when i get back cool
00:41:06cool sure yeah but austin seriously man um don't go out drinking we have a chance tomorrow
00:41:13you saw what happened tonight we beat ian he let us win god damn it that's not what i um
00:41:21i'm sorry i'm gonna i'm gonna get rid of this and i'll just be right back
00:41:26do you want a walking partner excuse me do you want a walking partner
00:41:54just you're there and i'm here and it's that weird sort of awkward thing and i just figured
00:41:58well that's silly you know we may as well walk together yeah sure where you headed do you know
00:42:03where holloway drive is uh you sure you're in the right neighborhood i have no idea i just moved
00:42:08here and i was meeting some co-workers and i can't find the street and i keep texting them but
00:42:13nothing and i'm so lost yeah i've never heard of it you tried googling it yeah i did but nothing
00:42:19came up i just strobe down here i figured this is where all the cool spots in town seem to be
00:42:23they are but uh i don't know i grew up here i've never heard of that before um sorry i i wish i could help you out
00:42:30just ah it's fine i'll just see them on monday and figure something out
00:42:34i could i could walk you back to your car if you'd like that'd be nice thanks
00:42:42it's in the back
00:42:44what the heck is that it's it's nothing nothing uh that was nothing that was um that was my little
00:42:51brother so i was just thrown away for him so and uh now it's gone
00:42:54you're acting really strange was that a um no that was that was nothing that was definitely
00:43:00nothing it's gone so um so uh how long you lived here about a week wow you are new i am
00:43:11where'd you move from santa claus santa claus okay now you're just you know you're just messing with
00:43:17me honestly it's a small town oh no i know all about santa claus indiana i just never met anybody
00:43:23from there that's where i am really holy shit you have no idea how excited this makes me why's
00:43:28that i don't know i've always just had a thing for those little indiana towns with weird funky names
00:43:33you know like mudza hey that's a good one um carefree indiana toad hop hardscrabble bee hunter
00:43:42god damn you're good at this um okay now if you want to get a little spicy there's the famous french
00:43:47nick indiana keeping on the spicy theme there is booty booty yeah you know it's spelled like buddha
00:43:53you know how the rest of the world would pronounce it but this being indiana nice that's hilarious
00:43:57um okay now one of my personal favorites floyd's knob
00:44:01pocket punani
00:44:04no that was that was my little brother i swear i hope you're sick it was because that's not
00:44:11not good no i've honest well this is me oh it's been nice yeah do you want to get a drink
00:44:19a drink uh yeah are you nervous never me thank you
00:44:29uh thank you very much looks great
00:44:32yeah
00:44:35it's weird what is well i've been in this place a bunch of times and it's always packed
00:44:45makes you feel like everybody knows something you don't
00:44:48maybe it's just one of those kind of nights
00:44:50what kind of that the unexpected can happen
00:44:53can i ask you a serious question now sure you sure yeah okay
00:45:01have you ever noticed how much the statue of liberty looks like elvis
00:45:06what no it doesn't oh you don't believe me
00:45:09no it doesn't okay
00:45:10just take a look at this please
00:45:13that's insane that's crazy right how come more people aren't talking about this i don't know
00:45:21you know what i think it that's up to us now to start getting the word out about it
00:45:25so what do you do
00:45:29i own a bar i own a bar with my my little brother hank
00:45:33oh the one with the uh
00:45:35jeez yes yeah yeah that's the one
00:45:38you're not gonna believe this
00:45:41uh
00:45:42he and i are playing for the world darts championship tomorrow in chicago
00:45:48you're right i don't believe you there is no such thing as the world darts championship
00:45:52what yes there is it's a real thing and we're playing in it tomorrow
00:45:55it's gonna be on tv and everything
00:45:56seriously yeah
00:45:57wow
00:45:59it's nuts
00:46:00that's amazing it must be pretty good
00:46:03yeah
00:46:06well let's drink to that then
00:46:09cheers
00:46:10come on man it's your phone
00:46:19i screwed up
00:46:23i told him you let us win the match yesterday
00:46:26i'm sorry
00:46:28i've just been so stressed out lately
00:46:31the bar's in terrible shape
00:46:34we're barely hanging on
00:46:35this apartment i mean everything it's all tied together
00:46:38to lose it all
00:46:40i've been so stressed out lately i even used virgil's fake hoo-ha
00:46:43i know
00:46:44i know
00:46:45it's disgusting
00:46:46hank he doesn't
00:46:48he doesn't know about any of this
00:46:49well you know he knows about the hoo-ha
00:46:51that was embarrassing
00:46:53he doesn't know about the rest you know
00:46:55they've just come so far
00:46:58let's go find him
00:46:59okay
00:47:00that's okay come on
00:47:03just the guy i wanted to see
00:47:09why have you seen hank
00:47:10nope
00:47:10i finally got my check
00:47:12you gotta be shitting
00:47:13i told you
00:47:14if it weren't for me it would have been a damn refrigerator
00:47:16well then virgil i guess you deserve that money
00:47:19hey do me a favor if you see hank have him get in touch with me immediately
00:47:21please
00:47:22sure thing everything okay
00:47:23i don't know man we're about to find out
00:47:25hey
00:47:31here for some last minute supplies
00:47:33no i uh
00:47:34uh
00:47:36where is he
00:47:37i was hoping you might know
00:47:39you know
00:47:41he really
00:47:41well
00:47:44you're the first place to look
00:47:45i don't mean to put this on you
00:47:52but i don't know what i would do
00:47:56if you was to leave me the truth
00:47:59is i can't live without you
00:48:03i don't know where i would go
00:48:06i don't know but all i know
00:48:09is i just would not be myself
00:48:12i don't need nobody else
00:48:16but you
00:48:16i don't mean to put this on you
00:48:19but i don't know what i would do
00:48:22if you was to leave me the truth
00:48:25is i can't live without me without you
00:48:30i want you all to myself
00:48:32cause i don't need nobody else
00:48:36we have a love that is true
00:48:39cause i came there with it now
00:48:42yeah i'll show
00:48:43why'd you leave
00:48:45i'm not kidding
00:48:48these guys are the best in the world
00:48:51and i can't even hit a bullseye
00:48:52when i'm at home by myself
00:48:53i started to believe we could win too
00:48:56you can't hit a bullseye
00:49:01is that a joke
00:49:02what do you mean
00:49:05you hit one every moment
00:49:07of every day with me
00:49:08you've never not hit a bullseye
00:49:10as far as i can tell hank
00:49:10you're just
00:49:12a bullseye kind of guy
00:49:14look how far you've come
00:49:19there's a champion inside you
00:49:22that's what i see
00:49:23now go show the world
00:49:26what the hank fuller that i know can do
00:49:28thanks
00:49:32no don't like me
00:49:34when you win you owe me a song
00:49:35i'll see you at the match
00:49:40wouldn't miss it for the world
00:49:42i mean if he doesn't get here soon
00:49:49he'll be here
00:49:50sorry i'm late
00:49:54you're my brother hank
00:49:56you don't apologize to me
00:49:57i'm just glad you made it
00:49:58oh by the way
00:49:59i didn't drink last night
00:50:00and i was wrong
00:50:01ian didn't let us win the match
00:50:03right
00:50:04i don't know if you drank last night or not
00:50:06but if you did i'm gonna kick your ass
00:50:08and yeah i didn't let you guys win
00:50:10you guys play great
00:50:10now why don't we show these boys
00:50:12how we do things on this side of the pond
00:50:14you how we do things on this side Oh yeah
00:50:21well
00:50:30you
00:50:34you
00:50:35you
00:50:40you
00:50:41Hold this and stand to the accurate.
00:50:53What's that say?
00:50:54Uh, seven feet, nine and a quarter inches.
00:50:57Now hold it at the bullseye.
00:51:00Now what's that say?
00:51:01Five feet, eight inches.
00:51:02Exactly right.
00:51:04It's the same dartboard you guys have been throwing at the whole time.
00:51:06They don't change any rules for the world championship.
00:51:08Cool.
00:51:09Cool.
00:51:09All right, let's go warm up.
00:51:13Guys, wait a second.
00:51:14What's that?
00:51:15They didn't even bother to change the banner.
00:51:19That's okay.
00:51:20After tonight, they're never going to forget your names.
00:51:35Ladies and gentlemen, let's get started to do something.
00:51:38Let's get started.
00:51:39Everyone say, oh yeah.
00:51:42Oh yeah.
00:51:44Representing, of course, Manchester, England, now time world champions, the Galliard Brothers.
00:51:49Let me hear you, thanks for coming, and from Michigan City, Indiana, we got some rolling.
00:52:08And I hear from Michigan City, Indiana, paint the hammer, and talking on the Turner, baby,
00:52:14dark side of the moon.
00:52:16Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and thanks for joining me and my partner in the booth,
00:52:33Sean Grafton, for tonight's World Darts Championship.
00:52:36What do you think, Sean?
00:52:37First off, I just want to apologize for the joke I made last week about, you know, having
00:52:40a drink in the booth.
00:52:41That's just silly dart humor, and I really didn't mean anything by it.
00:52:43Not a problem.
00:52:43I doubt anybody took that seriously.
00:52:45So, thoughts about the match?
00:52:47One word, bloodbath.
00:52:48These guys from a pub league in a little town in Indiana have no chance.
00:52:51Two games to nothing, I doubt they even score a single point against the Giants.
00:52:54Well, there you have it, folks.
00:52:55I'm the former champ himself.
00:52:57Let's go down to the hockey as the match is about to begin.
00:53:03Hey, my name is Ian.
00:53:05I coach dark side of the moon.
00:53:07Good luck, man.
00:53:08You're going to need it.
00:53:09Do you have our trophy?
00:53:10I think they only give you that if you win.
00:53:12You guys got what I want?
00:53:12What?
00:53:13An apology?
00:53:13What do we owe you a fucking apology for?
00:53:15What you said about my father.
00:53:17Hey, you know what?
00:53:17Never mind.
00:53:18I'll get it out.
00:53:19Hey.
00:53:19Yeah.
00:53:19Hey.
00:53:20Who's our old man?
00:53:21My father is Alistair Whitman.
00:53:24I know I wish you guys good luck, because you're going to need it.
00:53:29Is he really your dad?
00:53:30Stay focused.
00:53:30Finish running up.
00:53:36Did you hear that?
00:53:37Did I just hear that Alistair Whitman is his father?
00:53:39Well, that's what it sounded like to me.
00:53:41If that's true, does that make any difference in tonight's match?
00:53:43No.
00:53:44They still have zero chance to win.
00:53:47Tonight's game is the best of three match.
00:53:49The first team to win two matches is the champion.
00:53:51Now, the standard CDC rules apply, and the Gallium Brothers won first to the throw.
00:53:54Are you ready, gentlemen?
00:53:55Then shake hands and shoot well.
00:53:58Shoot well.
00:53:58You two's a punching way above your weight.
00:54:00We've been told to be nice and play a soft little game and make it look good.
00:54:03So play alone, or I'll send you a bow foam and a fucking ambulance.
00:54:06And here you go.
00:54:07We want you to be the first to have this.
00:54:09A CD.
00:54:10Great.
00:54:11Hold on, this is our name.
00:54:12And now it will always be remembered as the title of our first album.
00:54:15You're welcome.
00:54:17I don't want their piece of shit record.
00:54:19I might check it out like a call, right?
00:54:20What?
00:54:21Hey, hey, can I see that thing for a second?
00:54:23Shut the fuck up.
00:54:24What are you doing?
00:54:25I'm looking for my friend.
00:54:27Wait, who gives a shit?
00:54:28They're going to throw your darts for you?
00:54:29Why don't you guys get your heads in the game?
00:54:33They're not even going for points.
00:54:39Oh, white horse.
00:54:40He threw a white horse.
00:54:43Screw them.
00:54:44You know what to do.
00:54:45They're not taking Darkseid seriously.
00:54:46They just went in.
00:54:47Well, let's see how Darkseid responds.
00:54:51Trouble 17.
00:54:54Trouble 16.
00:54:55Okay.
00:54:56Trouble 15.
00:54:57That's unbelievable.
00:54:58These boys came to play.
00:54:59This guy owns my pussy.
00:55:09This guy owns my pussy.
00:55:13Woo!
00:55:15Pulled a blind to that, didn't you?
00:55:24Austin's heard of the occupants for shaking Nicky up
00:55:25because he only hit two 20s.
00:55:27What the fuck was that?
00:55:29Here we go.
00:55:30This is our chance.
00:55:31Go for points.
00:55:31Close out 20s, 19s.
00:55:33You got this.
00:55:45Hank only manages 34 points.
00:55:47Sorry about that.
00:55:49You're still in it.
00:55:49Come on.
00:55:49Lance closes the 17s and 16s.
00:55:59Austin closes the 20s and 19s.
00:56:00He should have gone for points in the 15s.
00:56:01His coach won't be happy about that.
00:56:04Nicky closes the 15s and lands a bullseye.
00:56:07It's already the 18s.
00:56:09It's just the 18s.
00:56:10It's like it.
00:56:15Hank is only able to get one bullseye.
00:56:17He needed a bunch of them to keep them in this.
00:56:18Well, whatever your name is,
00:56:19you're just little chakery cracks under pressure, aren't you?
00:56:22Get your notebook, laddie.
00:56:23Show you how it's done.
00:56:27Guy and brothers one.
00:56:28Darts out of the moon?
00:56:29Zero.
00:56:29Just as I predicted, Dirk.
00:56:30Folks, if you have those dinner reservations in 20 minutes,
00:56:32you're not gonna miss him.
00:56:34I'm killing this guy, son.
00:56:36I'm sorry.
00:56:37I'm gonna tell you something my father told me about darts,
00:56:39but it applies to everything in life.
00:56:40You have to believe right here, right now,
00:56:42that you're as great as any dart team that ever was
00:56:44or ever will be.
00:56:46But you have to believe that.
00:56:47Hank!
00:56:48Hey.
00:56:49Hank, how's the match going?
00:56:50Uh, terrible.
00:56:52We lost the first game.
00:56:53I, um, I couldn't concentrate.
00:56:55Well, I think it's because I had to get you these.
00:57:01So you weren't lying.
00:57:04Hey, you made it.
00:57:05You kidding?
00:57:06I had to see this with my own eyes.
00:57:08What the hell is this?
00:57:10Let's throw some darts so we can get the hell out of here.
00:57:11I'll see you around, Hank.
00:57:15Hey, don't go anywhere.
00:57:17I won't.
00:57:18I promise.
00:57:19You promise?
00:57:20I promise.
00:57:21But you have to promise me something.
00:57:22Anything.
00:57:23Win.
00:57:28All right.
00:57:30You heard what the man said.
00:57:30Let's throw some darts.
00:57:32Let's go.
00:57:33This should be the final game of the match.
00:57:38I don't think dartside can keep up with it.
00:57:44Lance is keeping the same strategy.
00:57:45Closing the 20s and 19s.
00:57:47Yeah.
00:57:47Let's see if Austin can answer like last game.
00:57:55Fuck it.
00:57:57Whoa.
00:57:58Trouble 20.
00:57:59Trouble 19?
00:58:00I didn't see that guy.
00:58:04It's like he said, he can't hit the red horse here.
00:58:06But I sure as shit can.
00:58:12They're still not taking them seriously.
00:58:13Hank stepped up with the Aki.
00:58:14This is where the game has faltered in the past.
00:58:16Trouble 17.
00:58:17Trouble 16.
00:58:21Trouble 15.
00:58:23Wow.
00:58:23Wow.
00:58:23The galleons are going to start taking them seriously now.
00:58:28Single bullseye.
00:58:29Double bullseye.
00:58:32And another single bullseye.
00:58:34Yeah, you see, now they're starting to score points.
00:58:37Austin could potentially close the game.
00:58:38He needs to shut down the bulls first.
00:58:41Single bull.
00:58:44Double bull.
00:58:45He needs the trouble 16 or 15 for a miracle game.
00:58:48Catch all the moon for a perfect goal.
00:58:50I cannot believe it.
00:58:51What an amazing this kind of guys.
00:58:52No one saw this coming, especially me.
00:58:54The galleons brothers won.
00:58:55Dark side of the moon won.
00:58:56Ladies and gentlemen, now we have a match.
00:58:58That's right.
00:58:59Cancel those dinner reservations.
00:59:01Showtime, baby.
00:59:02Showtime.
00:59:03They took off their sunnies.
00:59:09They said they never take off their sunnies.
00:59:10They mean business.
00:59:11Here we go, ladies and gentlemen.
00:59:13The final game.
00:59:14This is exciting stuff.
00:59:15Lance Gallion hits three triple 20s.
00:59:22He's closed the 20s and scored 120 points.
00:59:24That was a magnificent start to the game.
00:59:32Trouble 19.
00:59:34Another trouble 19.
00:59:36The way these two are throwing, their coach may really be Alistair Whitman's son.
00:59:41Austin Turner hits seven 19s.
00:59:43Darts out of the moon at 76 points.
00:59:44Great response.
00:59:48Nicky hits a triple 19 and three 18s.
00:59:50As I thought, both teams are now playing a modern strategy.
00:59:56Hank Fuller hits two triple 17s and a triple point.
00:59:59Fantastic darts.
01:00:00They've now gone ahead with 127 points.
01:00:04Lance hits a triple 18 and three 17s.
01:00:06They've retaken the lead with 174.
01:00:08What a match.
01:00:09In Freddy Ball.
01:00:11And now they have the lead by one.
01:00:14Nicky finds four 15s, giving them the lead with 189 points.
01:00:21If again, inched ahead with 191 points.
01:00:23This is like two heavyweight boxers getting everything they have in the final round of a title match.
01:00:28An incredible thing to witness.
01:00:29Lance lands a triple 15, then finds two 16s.
01:00:32They're ahead with 234 points.
01:00:34Austin hits another triple 16 and closes the 15s.
01:00:38As they've regained the lead with 239 points.
01:00:43Last target just misses.
01:00:44Yes, but it landed in the 16, closing out that number.
01:00:46Meaning it all comes down to the bulls.
01:00:48To recap, the Gallium Brothers have closed out the 20s through the 15s and they've managed two bullseyes.
01:00:52They also have 234 points.
01:00:54Darts out of the moon has also closed out the 20s through the 15s.
01:00:56They have no bulls.
01:00:57But they are ahead with 239 points.
01:00:59Darts out of the moon needs three bulls.
01:01:00The Gallium Brothers, too, to win the game and the match.
01:01:03Hey, Hank, look at me.
01:01:25I can't stop thinking about how much the Statue of Liberty looks like Elvis.
01:01:36Hey, there's no pressure, man.
01:01:38We've already won.
01:01:39That does not look good.
01:02:04It's not good at all.
01:02:05It's virtually impossible.
01:02:11The dart is covering almost the entire double hole, which is what he needs to win.
01:02:17This shot was only made once, and that was by the greatest player to ever throw a dart.
01:02:20The ancients.
01:02:40The dirt side of the moon wins.
01:02:46The dart side of the moon wins.
01:02:47They are the new dart sword in the world.
01:02:49we actually caught the dart in all my years i've never seen that this may be the greatest day in
01:02:54the history of this beautiful sport we did it bro we did it no she won unbelievable no that shot
01:03:00was unbelievable and we saved the bar wait what what are you talking about oh dude if we didn't
01:03:04win a thousand dollars we could have lost the place seriously yeah the apartment too when were
01:03:09you gonna tell me never what the mother of christ i told you they'd never forget your
01:03:15names after tonight is that why you had us play in our underwear so we'd be ready for this no
01:03:19that had nothing to do with anything uh i just thought that was funny is alistar whitman
01:03:23really your dad or is that some bullshit hey does it matter
01:03:29hey that was for you weird old men who knew darts could be so exciting surprising right yeah
01:03:35you're gonna have to show me how to play later gentlemen i uh i think we know what i want
01:03:41thank you for what for everything i couldn't have done it without you
01:03:45hey i was wondering do you think you and i could sometime would you be interested good lord hey why
01:03:55do you think i have a little dart section in my otherwise beautiful shot yes yes i would love to go out
01:04:01with you
01:04:15huh so you're still saying it was hank's fake vagina
01:04:21bugger roll hey i'm i'm gloating here man is this some kind of a joke what you're a queer hey you got a
01:04:26problem with him then you know it's all good man i got this listen man i just learned yeah yeah yeah
01:04:30whatever look all i wanted to say was i'm a queer too but up until now i was the only one playing
01:04:33championship dots you know what i mean welcome to the game mate let's play well and we won a
01:04:38a fucking rematch i also did not see that hey now where you go
01:04:51jump on in we got lots to see right now
01:04:54jump on in we got lots to see right now
01:05:09yeah yeah
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