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Short filmTranscript
00:00We haven't got an ingest deal.
00:02But I know where you can get one.
00:03We are coming for you.
00:06You got any last words?
00:07What if I was to call up your record and just hit delete?
00:10I kind of told him I could wipe his record.
00:13Tell him you wiped it.
00:14By the time he finds out the truth, the police have got it.
00:16Oh!
00:17Is it done?
00:18It is done. Your record is clean.
00:19Your boyfriend is here.
00:21Hello, beautiful. How was your dinner?
00:25Oh, Judy, that food was something.
00:28Was that a hint of cumin in that rice?
00:30Yes, there was.
00:32Thank you, Tevin.
00:34So, Dom, tell us, how did you meet such a sweet, sweet guy?
00:38Oh, you mean how did I manage to meet such a sweet, sweet girl?
00:42He thinks she's the catch.
00:44We can all hear you, Dad.
00:45So, how long have you two been an item?
00:48Yeah, um, you know, we're not really, like, an item.
00:52It's more of a, the kids say, situation ship.
00:56Four months last Wednesday.
00:59After Dom bought me a dozen roses, I thought, rah, rah, fair play.
01:03I mean, why can't a woman buy a man flowers?
01:06Oh?
01:07Right, who's got room for dessert?
01:09Oh, yes.
01:10Yeah, actually, Tevin, I think you've got to be getting back, right?
01:13No.
01:14Tevin lives south.
01:15Oh.
01:16Like, really south.
01:17Croydon.
01:18South Croydon.
01:19And I remember you saying that you need to get home to close your curtains before it gets dark,
01:24because, you know, your estate's a bit rough.
01:27Oh.
01:28Yeah, yeah.
01:29Actually, that's what I came round there to tell you.
01:30To tell us what, Tevin?
01:32I don't live in south Croydon anymore.
01:34Actually, I don't live anywhere anymore.
01:37Landlord kicked me out.
01:39Oh, nice.
01:40Yeah.
01:41He hiked up the rent, because Croydon's so up and coming.
01:45Especially the south part, where it's Leith here.
01:49I told him I couldn't afford it.
01:51Came home, found my stuff in bin bags, and the locks changed.
01:55No, that's disgusting.
01:56Not to mention illegal.
01:58Yeah.
01:59Well, maybe we could help.
02:02Yeah, we can get you the name of a really good lawyer.
02:04No.
02:05We've got space here.
02:07Do we?
02:08You could crash here for a bit.
02:11I was just thinking about the insurance.
02:15You know, can we have guests?
02:18Of course we can have guests, Dom.
02:20Yes.
02:21Thank you, Maurice.
02:22I mean, Dad.
02:24Listen, it's no problem.
02:27Son.
02:28Yeah, right.
02:30Babe, can you help me clear these plates
02:32before we have this dessert that Julie's so obsessed of us having?
02:35Thanks.
02:36Sure.
02:37Oh, come on.
02:38Let's go.
02:39Ooh.
02:40Dom's clearing the plates.
02:41This is...
02:42This is a first.
02:48What the fuck is this?
02:49What are you doing here?
02:50I know you didn't get my record wiped.
02:52I made some calls and I know it's bollocks.
02:55Okay, Devon.
02:58Here's what's gonna happen, okay?
03:00You've got ten seconds to get the fuck out of my house or I'm gonna call the police.
03:06And by the way, I have a special number to call because I'm secret services bitch and they come that bit faster.
03:12You won't call the police.
03:13Oh, I'm already doing it.
03:14Because if you do, you'll have to tell them that you handed over state secrets to a terrorist.
03:19At least that's what I heard you say earlier.
03:23Possible terrorist.
03:24This is what I think I said actually.
03:26Um...
03:28Okay, look.
03:29I did try to get your record wiped.
03:31Oh, you tried?
03:32Yeah.
03:33Oh, you tried?
03:34Well, that's fine.
03:35We'll just leave it then.
03:36Thank you for understanding.
03:37Try harder!
03:38It's so funny when you say things like that.
03:45Because I'm not leaving here until it's done.
03:48Get me?
03:49Yeah.
03:51I get you.
03:55Oh, Julie!
03:56Is this a dessert?
03:57Yeah.
03:59Ew.
04:00Nah, this isn't Julie's lemon drizzle cake.
04:03This has got to be M&S.
04:06Stop it, you.
04:08Come on, Pookie.
04:09Let's go.
04:17So this is my side.
04:19And that's your side.
04:20Did you put actual masking tape down?
04:22Mm-hmm.
04:25Don't think it's halfway.
04:26No.
04:27It's not halfway.
04:28You wanna know why?
04:29Because this is my room.
04:30And can we get something clear, alright?
04:32All of this...
04:34Not part of the deal.
04:35I tried to keep my hands to myself.
04:37Yeah.
04:38And we get changed under the bedding here.
04:40Because this is a Christian household.
04:42I'm told.
04:43Praise Jesus.
04:45Yeah.
04:46Praise Him.
04:47Where are you going?
04:48Shit.
04:49I'm going for a piss.
04:50Is that alright with you?
04:51Don't drink liquids after 8pm.
04:52Don't.
04:53Don't get any ideas.
04:54I know where you live.
04:55Don't get any ideas.
04:56I know where you live.
04:57Don't get any ideas.
04:58Don't get any ideas.
04:59Don't get any ideas.
05:00I know where you live.
05:04Overnight Oaks, revelation.
05:05Thank you Susan.
05:06Overnight Oaks, great.
05:07We all know.
05:08Hmm?
05:09Your 24 hours are up.
05:10Tevin is living in my house.
05:11What?
05:12Is that all right with you?
05:13Don't drink liquids after 8pm.
05:17And Dom, don't get any ideas.
05:21I know where you live.
05:28Overnight Oaks, revelation.
05:30Thank you Susan, overnight Oaks, great, we all know.
05:33Your 24 hours are up.
05:35Tevin is living in my house.
05:38What?
05:39What?
05:40He knows I didn't wipe his record.
05:42He knows about the carnival file.
05:44He is blackmailing me, living in my house and eating my Pop-Tarts until I get his record
05:48wiped.
05:49Oh, is he staying there forever?
05:51Because you are never getting his record wiped.
05:52Yes, I know that Kate.
05:54Why did you tell me to say it?
05:55I didn't tell you to say it.
05:57I just floated it as a possibility.
06:00Look, if you tell Fisher about the carnival file, then he wouldn't have anything to blackmail
06:05you with.
06:06Yeah, because I'll be in prison and he'll be at home watching Rick Stein's Mediterranean
06:10adventures with my dad and Julie.
06:12But if we sort this out ourselves, then he also won't have anything to blackmail me with.
06:17Need I remind you that you said 24 hours to solve this and that was up about 14 hours
06:25ago.
06:26I said 24 hours until we get somewhere and we got somewhere.
06:41We got his picture and we can find out who the guy is if we just take one little trip
06:45to the facial recognition suite.
06:46So come on!
06:47Let's go!
06:48Yes!
06:49Classified evolutionary documents!
06:50Like, like!
06:51Oh, there's someone there!
06:52So what's the big plan, then?
06:53Because our pastors don't work on this level, do we?
06:54Shh!
06:55I'm trying to think.
06:56Maybe we'll try the African cleaner thing.
06:57No!
06:58They don't think!
06:59Oh, there's someone there!
07:00So what's the big plan, then?
07:01Because our pastors don't work on this level, do we?
07:02Shh!
07:03Shh!
07:04I'm trying to think.
07:05Oh!
07:06Maybe we'll try the African cleaner thing.
07:07No!
07:08We can't!
07:09They don't think!
07:10Oh!
07:11Yes.
07:12It's an MI5 classified evasion.
07:13Yeah.
07:14Let's just get out of the line.
07:15Yeah.
07:16I don't like this song.
07:17I respect authority.
07:18There's a reason we shouldn't be in rooms we shouldn't be in!
07:19Okay, just watch the corridor and tell me if anyone comes.
07:20Who's not gonna use him?
07:21Graham's.
07:22Password Rincewind69.
07:23God, he is such a Graham.
07:24His Majesty's government takes civil liberties extremely seriously.
07:26Oh, God.
07:27Boring.
07:28How's the view up there?
07:29All clear for now.
07:30Okay.
07:31Let's get this bastard.
07:32Ah!
07:33Got him!
07:34Oh, I'm sorry.
07:35I'm sorry.
07:36I'm sorry.
07:37I'm sorry.
07:38I'm sorry.
07:39I'm sorry.
07:40I'm sorry.
07:41I'm sorry.
07:42I'm sorry.
07:43I'm sorry.
07:44I'm sorry.
07:45I'm sorry.
07:46I'm sorry.
07:47I'm sorry.
07:48I'm sorry.
07:49Who is that?
07:50That's not Steve!
07:51Yeah, no.
07:52It's some guy that ghosted me about six months ago.
07:54He claimed he was moving to Frankfurt for work, but I saw him at Lidl.
07:58And I'm pretty sure-
07:59Dom.
08:00Just do Steve.
08:01We haven't got time for sunglasses, man.
08:02We have not got time for sunglasses, man.
08:04We have not got time for sunglasses, man!
08:05Oh, right!
08:06Just watch the corridor!
08:08I have no idea how difficult it is for a single woman in London, but whatever.
08:13There he is.
08:14Finally!
08:15Okay, database searching.
08:18Shit.
08:19Must be off-grid.
08:20Fierce.
08:21Okay, okay.
08:22Well, we tried.
08:23Hang on.
08:24We still have to cross-reference his image against CCTV.
08:27Okay.
08:28Um, Dom.
08:29I can hear someone coming.
08:30Okay.
08:31I think it was the guy that was in here.
08:32Hurry up, Dom.
08:33Hurry up!
08:34I'm not the one deep-scanning London CCTV network, alright?
08:36It is the guy that was in here.
08:37We need to get out.
08:38Now!
08:39My God!
08:40That's, like, crystal maze.
08:41That was too close, Dom.
08:42I honestly thought for a second of the day, my heart was starting to get out of here.
08:43I'm not going to get out of here.
08:44I'm not going to get out of here.
08:45I'm not going to get out of here.
08:46I'm not going to get out of here.
08:47I'm not going to get out of here.
08:48I'm not going to get out of here.
08:49I'm not going to get out of here.
08:50I'm not going to get out of here, but I'll get out of here.
08:51I'll get down the door if you want to help me.
08:52Okay.
09:07That was too close, Dom.
09:08I honestly thought for a second of the day my heart was stopped.
09:11Yes, it worked.
09:12And I didn't see the light.
09:14Okay, look at this, Kay.
09:15Look at all these sightings of Steve.
09:17My God, they really do know everything, don't they?
09:20I mean, you can't even scratch your ass with all my...
09:22Dad, I'll just get over there.
09:24Okay, all right.
09:25So, there's a cluster there.
09:28I think this must be where he lives, right?
09:31Okay.
09:34Oh, my God, there he is.
09:36There he is.
09:37Yes!
09:39Soldier Titan Divide!
09:41We are coming for you, Steve.
09:43Steve, what are you doing, Steve?
09:46And then she goes to dry her face with a tea towel,
09:50and there he is, clear as day, the image of Jesus.
09:53Where'd he go?
09:54Right there.
09:55I mean, she framed it, she put it on the wall in her church
09:58next to the notice board, and it's uncanny, I've seen it.
10:01And yes, you can argue, it looks like a young Jeremy Irons,
10:03but he's still with us, so I don't imagine him appearing on tea towels.
10:06It's him?
10:07No, it's definitely Jesus.
10:08No, it's Steve, he's coming out.
10:11Maybe he was expecting a delivery room.
10:12Do you think Steve is a Mackie D's guy or a BK's guy?
10:15No, it's got to be Mackie D's, no one's a BK.
10:17Okay, yeah, he's moving.
10:18Let's go.
10:19Well, speaking of Mackie D's, if we pass a drive-thru, can we just...
10:21We are following a suspect.
10:22Please, I'm hungry.
10:24All right, fine, if we pass on.
10:26Don't get too close.
10:27I know what I'm doing.
10:28You need to change gear.
10:29Oh, my God.
10:35Why are we following him?
10:36I told you, we need to get some leverage on this guy.
10:40Find out what he's up to.
10:42Oh, there, there.
10:44Sitting on the bench.
10:47Oh, incoming.
10:49Someone with a bag.
10:52Oh, he's sitting down on the bench next to him.
10:54Kind of elder statesman, silver fox debonair time.
10:59Oh, let me see.
11:02Oh, yeah, he is a silver fox.
11:04Right?
11:04I wonder if they're related.
11:05They've got the same square jawline.
11:07Oh, he's left the bag.
11:08It's a handover.
11:09It's a handover.
11:11See?
11:12I knew it.
11:13Right, coming for you, Steve.
11:15And your silver fox.
11:23Maybe you should have followed silver fox.
11:25No, we stick on Steve.
11:27We need to find out what that guy gave him.
11:29What's in that bag?
11:31Can you leave my aircon alone, please?
11:33I'm caught.
11:33This is stressful.
11:34It's dead right.
11:35Yes, I have eyes, Kate.
11:37He's walking to a lockup.
11:39He's opening the lockup.
11:42He's taking a bag in the lockup.
11:45I can see all of this.
11:46He's closing the door to the lockup.
11:49And he's looking right out.
11:51Oh, shit!
11:59And he's driving away without the bag.
12:08The bag is in the locker.
12:11No!
12:15It's locked!
12:16Okay.
12:17We need to find out what's in there.
12:19Bomb-making equipment, weapons, anthrax.
12:22That's our leverage.
12:23And then we can say to him,
12:24we found your little bomb-making lair.
12:26It's out of action.
12:27And nobody needs to know about this
12:28as long as nobody knows about the file.
12:30Sounds icky.
12:31Yeah, well, that's a game, you know?
12:33It's icky.
12:34Oh, maybe we can recruit him as an asset.
12:38And he can foil future plans for us.
12:41Uh-huh.
12:41Okay, so how do we get in?
12:44Um.
12:45Oh, oh, oh, they've got a lockpicker.
12:48Who?
12:48The Tesco Express, round the corner.
12:50And my 5K, you know, our esteemed employer.
12:53Yeah, no, yeah.
12:54Graham told me about the gadget stores.
12:56No, I'm aware of the gadget stores.
12:58I also know that you need a pink form
13:00from accounts with a job code
13:03to get anything out of there.
13:04It's paperwork, bureaucracy.
13:08Hmm.
13:11What?
13:11Deborah, hi, how are you?
13:18Better for seeing you, handsome.
13:20IRL, I mean, dreams don't count.
13:23Great, great patter.
13:25Ha-ha-ha!
13:26Now, speaking of dreams,
13:28you'd be really making mine come true if...
13:30Go on.
13:32If you could give me a pink form for the gadget stores?
13:36Oh.
13:38To get a pink form,
13:39you need a blue form signed by your line manager.
13:41Yeah, this is kind of urgent,
13:43so I was thinking,
13:44maybe if there was a way you could give me a pink form now,
13:46and I can get you that blue form later.
13:49Well, we never normally do it like that.
13:51And...
13:57by later,
13:59I was thinking...
14:01dinner, perhaps?
14:05In a public venue.
14:07Oh.
14:08You naughty boy.
14:13Woo!
14:13Stop it.
14:15You were so smooth, Kay.
14:19You were like the Samson to her Delilah.
14:21Whoa, whoa.
14:22You're paying for dinner, by the way,
14:23and you're calling me as soon as it gets dark
14:25with a fake reason for me to leave.
14:26You were the David to her Bathsheba.
14:28No!
14:29The Boaz to her Ruth.
14:30No.
14:30Salisbury Plane.
14:39to what kind of look are we talking cylinder deadbolt night lock combination oh just you know
15:00standard one well what kind of building are we breaking into i didn't know i didn't say anything
15:06about brick oh yeah it's an investigation yeah yeah i know the drill but the building what are we
15:14talking oh a garage with a key lock thingy okie dokie now we're getting somewhere jesus christ
15:23oh i'm pleased to see this getting a run out you see everything is cyber these days but
15:30you just can't beat the classics no i bet you can't i bet you can't if it sticks bit of this
15:35she'll be chirpy as a chipmunk gloves because i assume you're not planning on leaving a prince
15:40all over the place no no i'm not i don't know about i don't know about you i'm not gonna do
15:44i'm not gonna do that we don't want to bolt cutters jeez louise if all else fails i'll give you a uv
15:53torch oh i always carry one of these you'd be surprised the amount of blood and semen you find
15:58under one of these hotel rooms tube there's more around than you'd think the old blood and semen and
16:07last but not least cacao balls
16:12like poisonous cacao balls no just thought you might want a snack i made them myself packed full
16:21of antioxidants oh well thanks dave and um nice get up by the way oh thanks yeah i'm uh fighting the
16:29cavaliers later for my sins well well good luck with that thanks mate they're a mad bunch of bastards
16:36uh it consultants from cheetle hume no way well i'll pray for you keeps me off the streets
16:42without it i'd be a maniac
16:45stop eating cacao balls let's do this there's a bad with it should be waiting why as far as he's
16:55concerned we're just going to our lock-up yeah but you know steve we're not steve you all right
17:00oh yeah hurry up okay hand me the silver thing silver thing hand me the gold thing gold thing
17:10now watch my back yep
17:12yes redemption is on the other side of this door
17:25oh my god shit crap
17:35there's a code cave what's the code cave oh why's the post on them you're the one who's a link to
17:41the divine
17:42why was he just run we haven't left any prints do you literally just saw our faces
17:48and dude is still watching us now why is it going faster why is it going faster
17:53uh one two three four four three two one how many combinations can it be the thousands dom
17:57okay i'm just going to press any random number wait
17:59uv torch
18:01hey everything all right now yeah yeah so you got some uh wood
18:09it's lovely weather for it
18:11um
18:15one seven eight nine okay so what's the order
18:23um maybe it's his birth year so 1987 or 1978
18:28or 1978 makes him
18:3047
18:321987 makes him
18:3538
18:37when we get out of here you're going to see me stress eat about 10 cacao balls do not judge me
18:53what the hell
19:11they're pogs
19:14again
19:15what
19:16the hell
19:18yeah yeah you remember pogs he's a slammer to knock them over and get as many as possible
19:22face down these were these were massive in the 90s so was hooty and the blowfish cake but i don't
19:27expect them to be hidden in a garage
19:29why does he have a bag full of pogs i don't know
19:32he has a hobby
19:33okay fine all right okay fine
19:37it's a dead end but it's only one line of inquiry
19:42okay we have his address so we can follow him again
19:45oh no dom dom you said 24 hours we've been getting on for three days
19:50and carnival's not for another two weeks
19:52yes and with every passing day we look guiltier
19:55just go where i need to think
19:57think
19:58you know listen see the scene back in the day
20:04it was all about lovers rock
20:05now no one talks about lovers rock
20:08there's no time
20:11oh shit shit shit shit shit shit who's close
20:12what it's gonna do
20:13hahaha
20:14hey dom
20:15hey dad
20:16are you okay
20:17dom you gotta be lucky for here
20:21don't let anybody gonna one go
20:22oh i won't
20:24remember the stiff drawer
20:25car
20:30devin fixed this
20:32and he made the stretch this morning
20:35What did you put in those eggs?
20:36A pinch of garlic powder.
20:38You saucer!
20:39Garlic!
20:41Yeah, I'm just trying to earn my keep.
20:43I don't want to outstay my welcome, you know what I mean?
20:46You stay as long as you need, my Bridget.
20:52Bridget, OK.
20:54All right, Tevin, babe, can we have a little word?
20:57I'm private, now.
21:00Sure thing.
21:01Tevin, thank you.
21:02Were you just smoking a split with my dad?
21:06I was just a rollie, but I didn't want to burst his bubble, you know?
21:09All right, just stop.
21:11Stop what?
21:11Whatever this is, like palling it up with my family.
21:14They're good people, I get on with them.
21:16OK, I get that you're trying to psych me out, but you can save your energy.
21:19I already told you I can't get your record wiped.
21:22Yes, you can.
21:23I've seen what you can do when you put your mind to it.
21:25So put your mind to this.
21:26Get it done.
21:28And I ain't even fucking about Dom.
21:32Get the fuck out.
21:37Of my room?
21:38Yes!
21:39It's a business call.
21:41I need something from the kitchen anyway.
21:47Jay, baby, what are you still doing away?
21:49I had a scary dream, Daddy.
21:51All right, but it was just a dream, OK?
21:53Come and sing to me like you used to.
21:56I was just going through the...
22:14I think...
22:15Bye.
22:17Bye.
22:18Um...
22:22Sonne la netina, sonne la metina, ding-dang-dong, ding-dang-dong.
22:31Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques.
22:36All right, Jay, baby?
22:51Get to sleep now.
22:53Night-night.
22:54Love you, Daddy.
22:55Love you too, Egghead.
22:57Shut up.
23:00That's why you want to get your record wiped, isn't it?
23:05Yeah, we're not doing this right now.
23:09We're not doing this right now.
23:39Afternoon.
23:42Yeah, funny.
23:43What's all this?
23:44Catch up.
23:45Where were you yesterday?
23:46Er...
23:47I had suspected meningitis, Graham, as I texted.
23:50Can't think why you're still not an agent.
23:53OK.
23:54OK.
23:55OK.
23:56OK.
23:57OK.
23:58OK.
23:59OK.
24:00OK.
24:01OK.
24:02OK.
24:03OK.
24:04OK.
24:05OK.
24:06OK.
24:07OK.
24:08OK.
24:09OK.
24:10Do you recognise this?
24:13It's a pink form.
24:14It's your pink form.
24:15And you're supposed to get a blue form signed by me to get one of those.
24:20Yeah.
24:21Yes.
24:22I know.
24:23I'm sorry.
24:24It was an emergency.
24:25Why did you even need anything from the gadget store?
24:27Ooh.
24:28I was a lock picker.
24:29And I was...
24:30I got locked out of my flat.
24:32Use government resources like this because you got locked out.
24:36I'm sorry.
24:37I'm sorry, but do you really think the taxpayers should be funding this?
24:40Alistair.
24:41I just thought, you know, if I can't get into my flat, then I can't go to bed.
24:50And then I can't have my Cocker Pops in the morning.
24:53And that, right, I don't think I would be at my best for the taxpayer.
25:00Well.
25:01Next time, get a locksmith.
25:02Yes.
25:03Yes, sir.
25:04Absolutely.
25:05I know, right?
25:06Wednesdays be Wednesday and...
25:07Oh.
25:08Oh.
25:09Oh.
25:10Oh.
25:11Oh.
25:12I need a foul pull on two agents.
25:34Oh, okay. Check this out. Fish's file. It was in my pile. That rhymed. Do you know she was in the army?
25:50Dom. Like the actual army. And this was her at uni. Check that out for some Bullingdon shit.
25:55Oh, and this is her address. 32 Ivydale Grove. Pretty sweet.
26:00Dom!
26:00There's something I need to tell you.
26:05All right. You just told me. You don't have to shout.
26:08Either you come clean, or I will.
26:12Are you being serious right now?
26:15Very.
26:19You all right. Fine.
26:21Oh, thank the Lord. Okay, look. Fish is in the office.
26:24But, we're bringing Steve in.
26:26What?
26:28If I'm going to have to confess to this thing, then I want to bring him in at the same time.
26:31Bang.
26:32Solid proof.
26:33I wasn't working with the guy.
26:34That's the compromise, okay?
26:36We are bringing Steve in.
26:39We might have a situation here.
26:49We might have a situation here.
27:07We might have a situation here.
27:31Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
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