- 2 days ago
Jimmy Kimmel Live - Season 24 Episode 55 -
Nikki Glaser, Joel Edgerton, Debbie Gibson
Nikki Glaser, Joel Edgerton, Debbie Gibson
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00:00Nicky Glaser, Joel Edgerton, and Debbie Gibson with the Kletos.
00:07And now, Jimmy Kimmel.
00:12Live!
00:17Thank you, thank you.
00:19You're welcome.
00:21Thank you very much.
00:25Hi, everybody.
00:26I'm Jimmy, I'm the host of the show.
00:29Thank you for coming.
00:31Thank you for joining us here in beautiful Hollywood.
00:36We're on, uh, what is the...
00:41Well, thank you, I appreciate that.
00:43Today, and I don't know if you're aware of this, Guillermo,
00:46but today is the fifth anniversary of the events of January 6th.
00:51Five years ago today, after losing what eventually judges from both sides
00:56in cities all around the country unanimously declared to be a free and fair election,
01:01Donald Trump tried to overthrow our government in a pathetic and illegal attempt to stay in
01:06the White House.
01:06And there's no other way to put it.
01:07You cannot look at the facts objectively and come to any conclusion other than that.
01:12He tried to force the vice president to claim voter fraud and refuse to certify Joe Biden's
01:18victory, which even his own vice president refused to do.
01:21And when Mike Pence chose the Constitution over his running mate, Trump got his supporters
01:25all riled up and sent him to the Capitol, where they staged a violent and deadly riot,
01:30which he enjoyed from the comfort of his office for hours on television,
01:33until someone in his circle begged and pleaded with him to half-heartedly call them off.
01:38It was a selfish, disgraceful, tyrannical, and dangerous act.
01:42And I think it's important, I think it's very important that we do not forget that,
01:45that we don't give in to this revisionist history.
01:47Five years ago today, we saw proof, live, in front of our eyes, that the American president
01:52is as un-American as they come.
01:55So, I just wanted to mention that before I wish you all a happy January 6th.
02:06Happy Stormiversary, everybody.
02:09The reason I mention it is because the White House, these whitewashers, launched a page
02:14on the official White House website, claiming Democrats staged the real insurrection by
02:20certifying a fraud-ridden election.
02:22They actually wrote this, and they go on to praise Trump for pardoning all the patriotic
02:26trespassers and peaceful protesters.
02:29You know, they commissioned an official plaque to honor the law enforcement officers who defended
02:34the Capitol on January 6th, but Mike Johnson, the squeaker of the House, refused to hang
02:38the plaque.
02:39Mike Pence, they were okay with hanging.
02:42The plaque, no.
02:43And not only didn't they put the plaque up, it is now missing.
02:46It's nowhere to be found.
02:48But don't worry, the plaques they hung at the White House calling Obama divisive and Biden
02:52crooked Joe, those somehow made it on the wall very safely.
02:55And not only is today the anniversary of the insurrection, it's also the anniversary of the
03:00second biggest mistake Trump ever made, it's Eric's birthday today.
03:04Eric Trump, on this date, 42 years ago, Donald and Ivana Trump brought baby Eric home with
03:12strict instruction to never feed him after midnight or get him wet.
03:16And if you're wondering whether Daddy Donald posted a birthday message for his son, he did
03:20not, but he did take time to post his TikTok stats.
03:24Yeah, that's right.
03:25The President of the United States, a 79-year-old man bragging about how many social media views
03:29he got.
03:29That's normal.
03:30I'm sure your grandpa does that, right?
03:33This morning, Trump was at his newly self-named Kennedy Center, where he delivered a pep talk
03:38to Republicans in the House.
03:39It was a closed-door meeting, which he put on TV.
03:43So I don't know why he closed the doors, but he covered a variety of important topics,
03:46not least of all, Melania's distaste for one of his signature moves.
03:51Put an eighth of an ounce on, then she's going to break the record for her mom who's sitting
03:56in the front with her father.
03:58I'm going to break her down.
04:00My wife, by the way, my wife hates when I do this.
04:03She hates when I dance.
04:05I said, everybody wants me to dance.
04:07Darling, it's not presidential.
04:09Could you imagine FDR dancing?
04:11She said that to me.
04:12I think she said that to me.
04:17Now, for those who, like Melania, are not students of American history, FDR was in a wheelchair.
04:25He had polio, and he was paralyzed from the waist down, which means he didn't dance much.
04:30But nice work throwing your wife under the bus on that one.
04:34I mean, I do love learning.
04:36I have to say, I appreciate the insight.
04:39I love learning that Melania hates it when he dances.
04:43Not just dances, by the way.
04:44She hates it when he moves.
04:47So the tantrum of the opera went on for 84 minutes this morning.
04:51Through your sanity, we've whittled that down.
04:53And here are today's real moments in Preza Dementia.
05:01A friend of mine who's really smart said, you know, you've got to be the most honest guy in history.
05:07I want this sign maker.
05:09The guy is great.
05:09The yellow is a beautiful shade of yellow.
05:12The fat drug doesn't work on you.
05:13Why are you even taking it?
05:14I have a little tiny fish to speak.
05:17Bring your kids in.
05:18We're going to change the sex of your child.
05:20Yes, sir.
05:21Yes, sir.
05:21Sir, are you okay?
05:22Sir, could you call up?
05:24Yes, I love this dog so much.
05:26Donald, uh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
05:32The answer is no.
05:33No, no, no.
05:33Ba, ba, ba.
05:34Boom.
05:35Oh, yeah.
05:36What?
05:36Whoa.
05:37Ah.
05:39Boom.
05:40Ping.
05:40Bing.
05:41Bing.
05:42Defense.
05:43Boom.
05:43Oh, my.
05:44Bing.
05:45Yeah.
05:47And.
05:48Ha.
05:49Ha.
05:49Ha.
05:50Bing.
05:50I wish you could, uh, explain to me what the hell's going on.
05:59Oh, Von Vance.
06:01Von.
06:02I feel like, I feel like even he knows what he's saying's nuts because just about every time he
06:08goes off on these tangents, he makes, he then makes it clear that he isn't actually
06:12scatterbrained, it's just a weave.
06:14So, let me just finish up because, you know, I weave, I love to weave.
06:18If you ever weave and don't come back to the point, then that's a problem.
06:23Then you say, but when you weave and you go here and boom, boom, boom, always coming back,
06:29then you're in good shape.
06:31That's right.
06:32I mean, no one is in better shape than, than he is.
06:37Congress is back in session.
06:39The first order of business for Congress is to try to avoid another government shutdown
06:42at the end of this month.
06:43How are we already looking at another possible shutdown?
06:46The last one ended in November.
06:47Our government is running like the ice cream machine at McDonald's.
06:51They've got a lot on their plate, including that little Jeffrey Epstein problem.
06:54So far, the Justice Department has released 12,000 files, which sounds like a lot of files
07:00until you realize there are 2 million more.
07:03They are only 0.6% of the way there.
07:06If these files were Harry Potter books, we're not even at Hogwarts yet.
07:10We're still in the station.
07:11A lot of people who were appointed by Trump seem to be forgetting that the Justice Department
07:15was mandated by law to release all the files by December 19th, and they just didn't.
07:21According to the Deputy Attorney General, Todd Blanche,
07:24this is the guy who moved Jelaine Maxwell into a country club prison,
07:28so you know he cares about the victims.
07:30He says the reason for the delay is because the Justice Department is trying to protect
07:34sensitive information about the victims, like his boss.
07:37Who's the real victim of this, honestly?
07:40And then we have something to distract us from all that,
07:42and that is the gift the President gave himself for Christmas this year, Venezuela.
07:47The military operation to kidnap the President of Venezuela and his wife went off without a hitch,
07:52but nobody knows what's going to happen next, including Donald Trump,
07:55who is definitely making all this up as he goes along.
07:58Trump did not get approval from Congress on this, which he is supposed to do,
08:01and so now his castrated companions in Magellan, like Senator Mark Wayne Mullen of Oklahoma,
08:07are working overtime to explain this and cheer him on.
08:12What President Trump did is have a backbone.
08:14It's the first time we've had a real backbone to the Western Hemisphere since 1989,
08:19when we got rid of Noriega, or not Noriega, what's the word I'm looking for there,
08:25well, and Panama, and when we ousted Noriega, that's what it is, Noriega.
08:32That's right, there you go, you got it.
08:34Where in the world is Carmen Noriega?
08:36So, surprisingly, you know, most guys named Mark Wayne are very intelligent, so I'm...
08:41Today we learned Trump's legion of dumb is once again gunning for Greenland.
08:45The White House is reported to be looking at a range of options to acquire Greenland,
08:50including the use of military force,
08:53which is a notion that Trump henchmonster Stephen Miller says isn't even worth discussing.
08:58The United States should have Greenland as part of the United States.
09:03There's no need to even think or talk about this in the context that you're asking of a military operation.
09:09Nobody's going to fight the United States militarily over the future of Greenland.
09:14Do you think he practices that voice in the mirror?
09:16It's like he invented his own language.
09:19The United States should have Greenland as part of the United States.
09:23The man is from Santa Monica, not Transylvania.
09:27This Stephen Miller...
09:29This was some interview with Jake Tapper.
09:31Listen to what he does. He uses this technique.
09:35He might be the worst one of them all.
09:38Think about this, Jake.
09:39Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake.
09:42This is such an important point, Jake.
09:43Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake.
09:46You love doing that smarmy thing, Jake.
09:48Yes.
09:49Jake is the smarmy one, not you at all.
09:52You're cool.
09:54Stephen Miller is said to be in line for a top role in Venezuela,
09:57but as far as which Venezuelan will run the country, that's tricky and also hilarious.
10:03You know, this woman, Maria Machado, is the Venezuelan opposition leader.
10:06She won the Nobel Peace Prize, but Trump said she's a nice lady, but she doesn't have the respect to run the country.
10:13Two sources close to the White House told the Washington Post the real reason he doesn't support her
10:17is because she didn't give him her Nobel Prize.
10:20According to the source, if she had turned it down and said,
10:23I can't accept it because it's Donald Trump's, she would be the president of Venezuela today.
10:28So how did she react to that?
10:30Why, she went straight to Hannity to offer it up.
10:34Did you at any point offer to give him the Nobel Peace Prize?
10:37Did that actually happen?
10:38I had read that somewhere.
10:40I wasn't sure if it was true.
10:41Well, it hasn't happened yet, but I certainly would love to be able to personally tell him
10:50that we believe the Venezuelan people, because this is a prize of the Venezuelan people,
10:55certainly want to give it to him and share it with him.
10:58Share it.
10:58He doesn't share.
11:00It is sharing, you know, sharing is caring, and he doesn't do that either.
11:04Those are not his things.
11:05What an idea this is.
11:06You can't just, you can't give someone your Nobel Prize.
11:09You can't, as far as I know, they're non-transferable.
11:12You cannot re-gift them.
11:13And can we please stop with this idea that Trump lost the Nobel Prize?
11:17This is like saying I lost the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.
11:20Okay?
11:22Let me explain it.
11:23If Jay-Z gives you his wedding ring, it doesn't make you married to Beyonce.
11:29Not only is Trump's ego bruised, his tiny little hands are bruised, too.
11:33I don't know if you've seen this.
11:34The White House claims that he's black and blue because he shakes too many hands.
11:37So Trump told the Wall Street Journal that he bruises easily because he takes a lot of aspirin.
11:42He claims he's been taking four times the recommended dosage of aspirin every day for the past 25 years.
11:48At this point, his blood is even thinner than his skin.
11:51He wants it to be thin.
11:53He wants his blood.
11:53He likes his blood thin and his ankles thick.
11:55It's how he let rolls.
11:57This was a doozy of an interview, by the way.
11:59It's very personal.
12:00The president revealed that he tried compression socks and didn't like them.
12:04Compression socks would help the blood reach the brain.
12:07Otherwise, he just pulls around the ankles.
12:09Trump is like a human tube of toothpaste at this point.
12:12You've got to squeeze him in the right.
12:14He's like a balloon animal.
12:16Man, would I like to watch him try to put on socks.
12:19I just want...
12:21After all this man has put us through, I just want one video of him putting on socks.
12:26Would that be too much to ask?
12:32As for that...
12:34You know that MRI Trump claimed to have AIDS?
12:36He now says it was a CT scan.
12:38It wasn't an MRI, and he's in perfect health.
12:40Every time he says he's in perfect health,
12:42J.D. Vance starts picking out furniture for the Oval Office.
12:45And let me...
12:46Boy, does that get him sexed up.
12:47It does.
12:48Trump might be the only one in perfect health.
12:50We are currently in the midst of the worst flu season in decades.
12:53Experts say 11 million people had the flu over the holidays,
12:57and all of them are on your return flight home.
13:00So, under the guidance of our Secretary of Brainworms,
13:03the CDC is reducing the number of vaccines recommended for children.
13:08They are dialing the recommendations down from 17 to 11 vaccines.
13:12President Trump weighed in on this.
13:13He wrote,
13:14Parents can still choose to give their children all their vaccinations if they wish,
13:18and they will still be covered by insurance.
13:20And then he went back to working with Congress to make sure no one has insurance.
13:23But you can trust Trump on this.
13:25He posted another rant about not taking Tylenol.
13:29Once again, misspelling the word hepatitis.
13:33Hepatitis is the new...
13:35It will now be referred to as hepatitis.
13:38As in, show me your hepatitis, ladies.
13:41So, if you're following Trump's health guidelines,
13:44don't get all the vaccines.
13:47Definitely don't get them all at once.
13:48Don't take Tylenol.
13:49But do take more than the recommended amount of aspirin.
13:52And do slather your hands with makeup to cover the bruises.
13:55And do take a cognitive exam every few months, just for the hell of it.
13:59During this closed-door meeting he had with the Republicans in the House today,
14:02he had...
14:03He's just...
14:04I don't know why I'm still surprised,
14:05but Trump had the absolute audacity to say this.
14:08When I travel, I make a lot of money.
14:10For the country.
14:11Not for me.
14:12For me, I don't make...
14:14I don't care.
14:14I have a much higher purpose.
14:16I have plenty of money.
14:17I don't need money.
14:17I don't want money.
14:18It's true.
14:19All a man wants his peace in the world.
14:21He's not in it for the money.
14:22I mean, does this look like a guy who's in it for money?
14:25We are announcing the launch of Trump coins.
14:28Get your Trump watch right now.
14:31I'm holding the God Bless the USA Bible.
14:34I wanted to share with you my newest book,
14:36Our Journey Together.
14:37My new coffee table book, Letters to Trump.
14:40My new book, Save America.
14:41The World Liberty Financial Token Sale is now live.
14:44And here it is.
14:45If you want to go out and get it, you can go out and get it.
14:49These cards show me dancing and even me holding some Bitcoins.
14:53That's the real deal.
14:55My gold Trump high tops have yet to arrive, by the way.
14:59Donald Trump doesn't want money.
15:01It's just not what he's about.
15:02But if you have some and you want to throw it his way,
15:05maybe you might want to think about this.
15:07Hello, everyone.
15:08It's your favorite president, Donald J. Trump.
15:10Five years ago today, our nation suffered a horrible attack.
15:15No, not by them.
15:16By the radical Democrats inside.
15:20Luckily, hundreds of patriots stormed the Capitol to stop the steal.
15:25A historic moment I'm immortalizing forever
15:29in this beautiful January 6th, 5th anniversary commemorative plate set.
15:34From podium-stealing guy to confederate flag guy to pipe bomb guy.
15:39We love pipe bomb guy, don't we, folks?
15:42He's a black.
15:44Blacks love me.
15:46These brave men and husky women climbed so I can soar.
15:51Gone but not forgotten.
15:53I came up with the idea that very day,
15:56during the three hours when I was doing nothing, watching TV.
15:59So now you will never forget Senator Josh Howley
16:03doing his big, iconic fist pump.
16:06Or running for his life.
16:08Where's he going? Nobody knows.
16:11Serve a beautiful meal on every police bubbling,
16:14vice president hanging, Nancy Pelosi desk-crapping moment.
16:19These plates are guaranteed to be as sturdy as our democracy.
16:23Oops.
16:24And every piece comes with my personal ketchup stamp of authenticity.
16:29The January 6th, 5th anniversary commemorative plate set.
16:34Order now, and just like these heroes,
16:36you'll receive a full presidential pardon.
16:39Just remember the jingle.
16:41You've got money, and I want money,
16:44so send your money, and I'll have money.
16:46All your money today.
16:48Make America plate again.
16:51Don't delay.
16:53All right.
16:54We got a fun show tonight.
16:55Joel Edmonton is here.
16:57Debbie Gibson is sitting in with the band,
17:01and we'll be right back with Mickey Blazer.
17:03Oh.
17:05Oh.
17:09Oh.
17:11Oh.
17:12Ah.
17:14It's, oh.
17:16Ah.
17:18Oh.
17:22See you once I'm injured.
17:23Esther.
17:24All right.
17:25All right, that is Debbie Gibson
17:28sitting in with the Cletones tonight.
17:30A great actor.
17:31He's nominated for a Golden Globe
17:32for the movie Train Dreams.
17:34Joel Edgerton is with us.
17:36And tomorrow night, we'll be joined by Alan Cumming
17:39and from the pit, Taylor Dearden.
17:41So please join us.
17:41And also, sitting in with the Cletones all night,
17:44I mentioned this is her book.
17:45It is called Eternally Electric,
17:47The Message in My Music, Debbie Gibson.
17:49Debbie, thank you for being here.
17:51Thank you for being here.
17:52And, um, I just have one question for you.
17:58This jacket that Jeff is wearing,
18:00um, did that come from you?
18:03So that is the original jacket
18:06from the Electric Youth album cover.
18:08That's what I thought, yeah.
18:12Everything was so oversized.
18:14Like, that jacket fits everybody.
18:17Right, that was the style.
18:18It's kind of the style again, right?
18:20And you really, but you did that lovely,
18:22actually, your wardrobe department,
18:24did the comedy tragedy mask.
18:26Uh-huh, yes.
18:27And the bowler hat, Jeff.
18:29Yeah, now this is a bit of a comedy and a tragedy,
18:31because typically, when a jacket of this type is presented,
18:34it would be given to the host, not the keyboard player.
18:38Like, if you were to go to a party,
18:40not right now, Jeff, but like,
18:41if you were to go to a party with a bottle of wine for the,
18:44you wouldn't just, the guy who opened the door,
18:45you wouldn't just give it to, like, his cousin, right?
18:47You would give it to...
18:48But you weren't texting me,
18:49oh, my God, what are you wearing?
18:50What are you wearing?
18:50I mean, that's what we were doing, so...
18:52All right, well, let's...
18:53But you can switch right now, I mean...
18:54I don't know my pants, you know?
18:56Like, you want to try it on for me?
18:57I would like all your clothes later, Jeff.
19:01That is Debbie Gibson.
19:03You know, last year,
19:04our first guest and I last year
19:06did such a great job hosting the Golden Globes,
19:08they asked her back to host the Golden Globes again.
19:11You can see her do it on Sunday night on CBS.
19:13Please welcome Nikki Glaser.
19:18Are you getting taller?
19:32Yeah.
19:33I am, still growing.
19:34How you doing?
19:35Growing girl.
19:35How's everything?
19:36Everything good?
19:36Good, you know, it's show week.
19:38Yeah, right?
19:38So it's intense.
19:39I feel ready.
19:40And you work hard,
19:41and I admire how hard you work on the show.
19:44Because a lot of people kind of sashay in there,
19:47and they think they're just going to read
19:48a bunch of jokes off a card.
19:50Yeah.
19:51And you could tell when you do it
19:53that it's at a different level than that.
19:55I take it seriously.
19:56You know, I love award shows,
19:58and I have imposter syndrome with everything I do,
20:01so I always just want to do my absolute best.
20:03Good.
20:03Use it as fuel.
20:05Yeah.
20:05And just I always feel like,
20:06how did I get this job?
20:07I have to keep it.
20:08And so I never, like, sit back or just assume,
20:10like, oh, yeah, I got this.
20:12Even though last year it went well, it's like,
20:14oh, I've got to do better this time.
20:16That's right.
20:16Yeah.
20:17You now are competing against yourself.
20:18I know.
20:19And she's a bitch.
20:21Did you, I know you live in St. Louis.
20:23Yeah, I do.
20:24Your hometown.
20:25Yeah.
20:25Did you even go home,
20:26or did you stay here working?
20:27This year, because the Globes were a little bit later,
20:29I was able to go home for the holidays
20:30and spend time with my family and get in there
20:32and run some jokes by them,
20:34see what they thought.
20:34Is the whole family gathered at the house
20:36for the holidays?
20:37Yeah, the whole family got together.
20:39I have a sister.
20:39She has three kids.
20:40I just showered them with gifts.
20:42Did you?
20:42You know, just, that's what I do,
20:43because I'm just rarely there,
20:45so I'm just buying their affection constantly.
20:46You know what?
20:46It works.
20:47What do you got to do?
20:47It really does.
20:48She writes us, like, you know,
20:49we're all going in on a 3D printer,
20:51and I go, no, I got it.
20:52I got it.
20:53I don't even wrap it.
20:54I'm like, it's in the trunk.
20:55Like, I just, that's, and it's working.
20:59They adore me.
20:59They like it.
21:00Are they 3D printing now?
21:01How old are the kids?
21:02They're 3D printing.
21:03The oldest is 8, and that's what he asked for,
21:06and I think it's a good gift.
21:07You know, I just, I want to make sure
21:08they're consuming enough microplastics, and, you know,
21:11Nowadays, you can't get enough of that.
21:13I just want to, yeah, exactly.
21:14And I just, it's like, I'm like, what do you,
21:16I guess it's good to, like,
21:17kids learn how to make things by pressing a button
21:20and waiting 40 minutes.
21:21I'm like, is this really teaching them anything?
21:23It's just an easy-bake oven for trash.
21:25I don't know.
21:26At 8 years old, is this, is he,
21:29because I have an 8-year-old son,
21:31and we're in the, like, he's pretending
21:33he believes in Santa Claus.
21:35He's doing, ugh, for you guys or for the younger kids?
21:37No, no, for himself, for his own gifts,
21:40because he worries that if he lets on.
21:42Oh, he's smart, yeah.
21:43Yeah, yeah.
21:44Yeah, that's next level.
21:44But this kid still believes.
21:46And, you know, I believed pretty late.
21:48How old were you when you found out?
21:4940.
21:51I'm so sorry.
21:52No, I was pretty young when I found out.
21:54Do you remember finding out?
21:55I do.
21:56Because for me, it was a real,
21:57because I believed for a really long time,
22:00probably until fifth grade.
22:01I think the last couple years,
22:02I kind of knew he wasn't real,
22:04just because everyone in my life
22:05was telling me he wasn't at school.
22:06I was, like, the last one that believed.
22:08What grade was this?
22:09This was, I was in fifth grade when I found out.
22:11I mean, I think my parents told me
22:13God wasn't real before Santa.
22:15Like, I was still believing in a magical man
22:18coming through the chimney,
22:18but they were like, when you die, there's nothing.
22:22It was, and then I remembered that,
22:24so I was keeping it up for my sister
22:26because I felt like I just want to keep it alive for her,
22:28so I was pretending.
22:28But I, like, I remember talking to my dad alone
22:31and saying, like, Dad, I know he's not real.
22:33Can you just tell me, like, is Santa real?
22:35And my dad, I saw his, like, foot shaking.
22:36He's like, no, Nick, he's real.
22:38And he was kind of smiling, and I knew he was lying,
22:39and I was like, you .
22:40Like, I just remember kind of being like,
22:43why can't you just tell me?
22:44And then my sister comes home from third grade.
22:46She finds out, and she just drops her body.
22:47He's like, I know he's not real.
22:48And my mom goes, he is not.
22:49I was like, oh, is that easy?
22:51It was so embarrassing.
22:52Yeah, because your dad was probably waiting
22:53to get permission from your mom.
22:55Exactly.
22:55He was, he, it's, but it does, like,
22:58you kind of go through, when I found out it wasn't real,
23:01you kind of, like, usual suspects everything.
23:03You're like, oh, my God, this whole time, you know,
23:05Santa was using my mom's wrapping paper,
23:08and the reindeer had my dad's handwriting.
23:10Like, it was like, all the signs were there.
23:12Yeah, yeah.
23:13But it's, and then there's arguments for, like,
23:15it's nice to believe, and it teaches you wonder.
23:16It's nice to believe.
23:17You brought us a video.
23:18Your dad's a musician.
23:20He is.
23:20He plays locally at different, he goes to nursing homes
23:24to perform for them.
23:25He plays at cafes and restaurants,
23:26and he also plays at grocery stores.
23:28And so I, which is, it's, that's not, I don't,
23:32people are like, is that a thing?
23:33And I go, no, it's not.
23:35And it should be.
23:35Yeah, I was wondering.
23:36People walk in, they're so confused,
23:38but he has a whole band there, Glaze and the Moon Kings.
23:41And I go out, he's always supporting my gigs,
23:43so I go to his gigs every single time I can,
23:45and then he lets me come up and, like, sing a Taylor Swift song.
23:47Yeah, you brought some video.
23:48What are we going to see here?
23:49Yeah, this is my Taylor Swift cover band, Failure Swift,
23:52so just get ready.
23:53With your dad.
23:54Yes.
23:54Yeah, all right, here we go.
23:55Oh, my God.
23:56It's really a grocery store.
24:12Yeah, it's a grocery store.
24:14And I get so nervous, because it's just not what I usually do.
24:19So I, I.
24:19It's not what anyone does.
24:20I know, and people afterwards come up to me and go,
24:22that was hilarious.
24:23And I go, I was trying so hard.
24:27But it's so funny.
24:28People are trying to, like, get to the melons right behind us.
24:30My dad calls his band the melon blockers now,
24:32because that's all they do.
24:33People are so confused by it.
24:35Yeah, wow.
24:35It's so fun, though.
24:36So he'll be, you can see him at various schnooks
24:38in the St. Louis area.
24:39Exactly, you know it.
24:40Schnooks on Manchester and 270,
24:43pretty much every, like, Saturday night.
24:45Yeah.
24:45Come see Dad and grab a melon.
24:48Exactly.
24:49We're going to take a break.
24:50We're going to come back.
24:50I do want to ask you about the Golden Globes
24:52and about your tour, which is just kicking off.
24:55Nikki Glaser is with us.
25:09And Demi Gibson sitting in with the Glee Tones.
25:11Joel Edgerton is still to come.
25:13We are back with Nikki Glaser,
25:14who is hosting the Golden Globes on Sunday
25:16for the second time in a row.
25:17Yeah.
25:18And you've been working on it.
25:20Are you ready?
25:20Or are you still writing jokes and stuff?
25:22You know, we write up until the last second.
25:24I feel like, you know, I'm always trying to beat every joke
25:27and just have it be as tight as possible.
25:28So I always leave it open to,
25:30maybe someone's wearing something insane on the red carpet.
25:32You want to make it just as topical as possible.
25:35But, yeah, I've been running it around town.
25:37Like, in L.A., I've just been going up
25:39at different comedy clubs and testing it out.
25:41Oh, not grocery stores?
25:41Yeah.
25:41You're not at John's.
25:46I should.
25:47Yeah.
25:48And at the comedy clubs,
25:49and I always kind of wonder about this
25:51because this is something I've never done
25:52when I was hosting.
25:53It's like, it's a really,
25:54it's a very different audience, right?
25:56It is.
25:56It is.
25:57You're not making jokes about the people
25:59in the audience at the comedy club.
26:01You can get pretty confident about material
26:03in those rooms because they are out for blood
26:06and they want you to go hard.
26:07Right.
26:08So I have that in my head always of, like, what they want.
26:11And I'm like, but you're not going to like it
26:12if that bombs and that person rolls their eyes
26:15and you see that shot.
26:16I know you want me to go that hard, but I can't.
26:19So I have some fun in testing it,
26:20but the big problem is, like, people haven't seen stuff.
26:24You know, like, we don't.
26:24Right, that is a problem.
26:25The references.
26:26It is.
26:27If they haven't seen the movies.
26:28It's a little harder this year.
26:29Like, I don't have, you know,
26:30movies like Night Bitch this time.
26:32You know, like, it's a little,
26:33you had some, like, funny movies last year.
26:35No one saw that either,
26:36but they know when they hear Night Bitch.
26:38It's funny.
26:39What it was, right.
26:39And it's like, but I found that this year
26:42I'm just intimidated because there's, like,
26:43a new caliber of star in the room
26:45that, you know, I grew up kind of idolizing.
26:47It's, like, people that were on my wall as a kid,
26:50like, you know, Leonardo DiCaprio,
26:51George Clooney, Hans Zimmer.
26:52I was a weird kid, but it's, you know,
26:56You were a Zimmer head?
26:57I didn't know that.
26:57Totally.
26:58Oh, yeah.
26:58I was Zimmer.
26:59I did not know that.
27:00Yeah.
27:00So, yeah, so you got Leo there,
27:02and that's, so you have to say something about him.
27:05You have to.
27:05And it's, like, it was nice that I got
27:08to watch the Critics' Choice Awards
27:09and see if he's in the mood to laugh about himself.
27:12Oh, did you?
27:13Yeah, and he did, and he seems like
27:14he has a good sense of humor about himself.
27:16And I come in peace, and, you know,
27:18I'm glad that I really loved his performance
27:21in one battle and can really lay that on thick
27:24before I, you know, go in for the kill.
27:26Do you think that helps, though, really?
27:27Because it always seems like you're just setting somebody up
27:30to be punched in the stomach.
27:31I think they fall for it.
27:33And it's, and you know what?
27:34I make sure it comes from a real place.
27:36I don't do it unless I actually feel it.
27:38So you'd know if I, I wouldn't say anything
27:40if I, if I, if I didn't actually feel that way.
27:42I think he seems like he's got a pretty good sense of humor.
27:44I think so, too.
27:46I'm, so, to you, I think, I think so.
27:48But there's, like, a couple jokes that I'm, like,
27:51I actually wanted to ask your advice
27:52on one particular joke about one person
27:54if I could just, like, whisper it to you.
27:56Oh, yeah, sure.
27:57This isn't as much fun for you guys,
27:58but I'll tell you what the joke is later on.
28:00Oh, yeah, you don't want to ruin the joke.
28:02Yeah, I don't want, is it okay
28:03if I just whisper it real quick?
28:04Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
28:04Yes, I think that works.
28:11Really?
28:11Absolutely, yeah, yeah.
28:12He didn't laugh.
28:13I, no, I.
28:14No, no, but you, thank you so much.
28:16Yeah, no, I think, I think he,
28:18I think he'd be okay with that.
28:19You think so?
28:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:20Okay, well, the thing is, people go,
28:22um, well, would you say that about a woman?
28:24Because it's, it's about a guy and about his looks.
28:26No.
28:27And I go, no, but no women look like that.
28:30And so, and I, and I do,
28:35and I am attracted to this person.
28:37I feel like if I sell that, I can still save it.
28:39But, yeah, but we'll see.
28:40But then if you, it cuts to, if, you know,
28:42I think about some of these jokes,
28:43I'm like, maybe I'll just write you,
28:45because you gave me great advice of just ask them
28:47if they, if they're okay with it.
28:48Sometimes, yeah, you can just ask them if it's,
28:50with that joke, I was like typing it out
28:51to maybe send a draft to someone to forward it to him.
28:54And I'm like, I can't send him this.
28:56And I'm like, so I probably shouldn't say it to his face.
28:59But then it's like, actually, that's kind of easier.
29:00And then I'll just, if he doesn't like it,
29:01I'll avoid him the rest of my life.
29:02He seems pretty bulletproof, I think.
29:04Okay, okay, okay.
29:05I think you're going to be okay with that.
29:06Okay, good, good, good.
29:07Now, also, you're, you've just announced your tour.
29:10Yes.
29:10It's called The Stunning Tour.
29:12Yeah, yeah.
29:12And you are kicking it off, I think,
29:14very interestingly, in Paris.
29:16I am, yeah.
29:16Which is in France.
29:17It is, it is.
29:18Where most of the people do not speak English.
29:21I, they do, I think they do, though.
29:24Well.
29:24I haven't been in a while, but don't they?
29:26I feel like.
29:26Well, I think you should have figured this out before.
29:29Oh, oh, la, la.
29:30Because that could be a major, although, I guess.
29:32I just started Duolingo, though, so I'll be able to ask
29:36who has a cat or if the boy is eating.
29:40They like that kind of stuff.
29:40Yeah, yeah, that's great.
29:41But I guess if they buy the tickets,
29:43they understand that performance.
29:44I think, yes.
29:45And maybe there'll be like a translator there or something.
29:48Sometimes they do, I guess that's no sign language.
29:50Oh, that'll be great.
29:50That would be very confusing.
29:51That's different.
29:52But I did just learn, here's a joke I cut that I can do.
29:56OK, go.
29:57That didn't work.
29:58Yes.
29:58But it's suitable.
29:59I did just learn French, L fanning in French is she fanning.
30:04Exactly.
30:05It's, yeah, yeah.
30:09I think it's, isn't it the fan?
30:11Oh, no, that's Spanish I'm thinking of.
30:13She fanning.
30:14Maybe it was the delivery.
30:15Yeah.
30:15And I had no confidence in it.
30:17Yeah.
30:18It's the other thing.
30:18And now you might have even less, yeah.
30:21It's good that we got it out here and no one's watching.
30:27Well, I think, yeah, I'm sure you're going to be great.
30:31I know it's terrible when people say that.
30:33Yeah.
30:33Yeah.
30:34You know, but the good news is that, you know, the stakes are high,
30:38but it's like if I kill it again, like I know the only thing this leads to
30:41is just hosting it again.
30:42Right.
30:42You know, that's what's at stake and I want to.
30:46But it's going to be fun.
30:47And I mean, I feel like I've, I've run this set so many times.
30:50If it doesn't work in that room, I know they're wrong because it's been
30:53working.
30:53I really do.
30:54Except now, I mean, that was a joke that I did cut.
30:57I know what works and what doesn't.
30:58But, um, but yeah, I feel confident.
31:00It's great to see you.
31:01Thank you, Jimmy.
31:02Go get them on Sunday night.
31:03Nikki Glaser, everybody.
31:05Goldberg, Sunday night, CBS and Paramount+.
31:08We'll be back with Joel Everton.
31:10Joel Everton.
31:11We'll be back with Joel Everton.
31:12Joel Everton!
31:12Joel Everton.
31:18When I look down on this world, I don't think I would find someone so true.
31:27Someone like you.
31:30Woo!
31:31I still love you
31:35When we stay on the hook
31:41In the eye of the corona cancer
31:44Why do I still keep loving you?
31:49I should have been the one
31:52I loved it, I've been something new
31:55And now I don't know what to
31:58Oh, I feel like you're gonna love you
32:02Welcome back to the show.
32:08Our next guest is a terrific actor from Australia
32:11where many terrific actors are made.
32:13He is nominated for Golden Globe
32:15and probably everything else soon
32:16for his work in the movie Train Dreams.
32:20I love this one.
32:22Come here, chicken.
32:26Come here, chicken.
32:27Oh, they're going inside.
32:29They're going inside.
32:30They're going inside.
32:31Come here!
32:33Chicken!
32:34Chicken!
32:35Chicken!
32:37Train Dreams is on Netflix now.
32:39Please welcome Joel Edgerton.
32:53How are you, Joel?
32:54Very good.
32:56It's very good to have you here.
32:57I had breakfast this morning
32:59with my cousins from Alabama
33:01and when you started talking
33:02I was like, is my cousin here?
33:05Wow, you've got friends all over
33:06you've got relatives all over the world.
33:08I heard you're a big fan of Nikki Glaser
33:10is that correct?
33:10Yeah, so I saw Nikki in New York last year
33:14and my wife has forced...
33:17Has anyone seen her last live show?
33:19She talks about how ruthless sisters
33:22can be with each other.
33:23Ah.
33:25And it like buckled my wife over
33:27and after the show
33:28she starts telling me about stuff
33:30that her and her sisters used to do
33:32about how like, you know,
33:33brothers just basically
33:34boss each other on the head
33:36and sisters really psychological warfare
33:39each other.
33:40Yeah.
33:40Yeah.
33:41So will you be okay
33:42if Nikki roasts you during...
33:44Because I think that would be helpful.
33:45I will be not okay
33:47if she doesn't roast me.
33:49Oh, okay.
33:49I like to think I'm roastable
33:51but I don't know.
33:53Are you...
33:53What would be a roastable item?
33:55It would have to be something
33:56that we kind of know about.
33:57It can't be anything obscure.
33:59I don't want to make it easy for her.
34:01Uh-huh.
34:01Okay.
34:01All right.
34:02Well, it seems like the least you could do
34:04after she entertained you in New York,
34:05you know?
34:06Yeah.
34:07I'll slip a little note under the door.
34:10Is the best thing about going
34:11to these award shows,
34:13which, um...
34:14Listen, you're going to get nominated
34:15for all of them.
34:16I saw this movie
34:17and you're great in it.
34:18Oh, thank you.
34:18I mean, it's a great...
34:19It's a great movie.
34:22Which means a lot of award shows.
34:24Is the best thing
34:25being able to meet people
34:27that you've not met before?
34:28I love...
34:29It's actually the greatest part of it
34:30is bumping into people
34:32you really admire.
34:33And who stands out for you
34:34when you think about those people
34:35you've met with?
34:35Okay, so years ago,
34:37I did one for Loving
34:37and I got to meet Kurt Russell.
34:40I had to pretend
34:41that I wasn't fanning out on him.
34:43Uh-huh.
34:43But recently,
34:44we've had a lot of love
34:46for Train Dreams
34:47from Michael Keaton.
34:49That's a good one.
34:49And he hosted an event
34:50for us recently
34:51and he'd reached out.
34:52I got an email from him
34:54and I don't know
34:55that he realizes
34:56how important he was to me
34:58when I was sort of growing up,
35:00watching him in all the movies
35:02and, you know,
35:03Beetlejuice
35:03and Batman
35:04and so on.
35:05Yeah.
35:05So, like,
35:06it was a really special thing
35:07for me
35:08to get an email
35:09from Michael Keaton.
35:10He just reached out
35:11to tell you
35:11that he loved the movie?
35:12Yeah.
35:13Oh, that's a nice thing to do.
35:13And it made me feel
35:14really, really good.
35:16But he doesn't,
35:17he still doesn't know
35:18because obviously
35:20you respond
35:21with a kind message
35:22but he doesn't know
35:23the depth of your fandom.
35:24You're trying to be cool,
35:25you know,
35:26but now he knows,
35:27I guess.
35:28Now he knows.
35:29You know, it'll be fun.
35:30Maybe we can get him
35:30to dress up as Batman
35:31and give you a video message.
35:33For my birthday.
35:33Yeah, for your birthday
35:34would be nice.
35:35I'm 51
35:36but it's never too late.
35:37Oh, we just missed
35:37the big one.
35:38We'll wait till 60
35:39and we'll get you
35:40that message from Batman.
35:42I'll make to the point
35:43where, like,
35:44you know,
35:44I'm not underest,
35:45don't underestimate
35:45what I'm saying
35:47because, like,
35:47when I was going
35:48through drama school
35:48I wrote down
35:50word for word
35:51a scene in a movie
35:52he did called
35:52My Life
35:53with Nicole Kidman
35:54and did it as a scene
35:56for, you know,
35:57one of the things
35:57we had to do
35:57at drama school.
35:58Like, Michael Keaton,
36:00I, I, I,
36:01he's very special to me.
36:03You didn't lay this
36:04on him at all
36:05when you met him
36:06when he hosted
36:07that event?
36:07He's probably learning
36:08about it now.
36:09Okay, all right.
36:10I mean, as everyone
36:10should watch your show,
36:12he's watching his show
36:12it's cats out of the bag.
36:15You are,
36:16your brother is an actor
36:17as well
36:18and not just an actor
36:20but a director
36:20and a stuntman.
36:22He started as a stunt guy
36:23and then developed
36:25into, it's like
36:26the evolution of Nash.
36:28He, he became a director
36:29but yeah,
36:30he was a big time
36:30stunt guy
36:31when I was just
36:32starting out.
36:32Nash Edgerton.
36:33Yeah.
36:34No offense,
36:35much better name
36:36than Joel Edgerton.
36:36Way better.
36:37So much cooler.
36:38So your brother
36:39is sometimes
36:40your stuntman.
36:42Yes.
36:42Which is interesting
36:43to me
36:44because I wonder
36:44how your family
36:45reacts to him
36:46being the expendable one.
36:48So I was about
36:52to go to drama school
36:53very worried
36:54about what my parents
36:55would think
36:55about me going
36:56down that path
36:57and literally
36:59a few months
37:00before I went
37:01to university
37:01to study acting
37:03my brother's like
37:04quits his university
37:06degree
37:06which is
37:07electrical engineering
37:08and whispers to me
37:10he's like
37:10I'm going to become
37:11a stuntman
37:12and my mother
37:14was in tears
37:15like devastated
37:16she's like
37:17you're going to
37:17get yourself killed
37:18which he hasn't.
37:20Good.
37:21Yeah.
37:22That's good.
37:24Yeah.
37:25But there's been
37:26he doubled me
37:28only recently
37:28we both did
37:29the same action
37:30jumping over
37:31a table
37:32to bite
37:33the neck
37:34out of a judge.
37:35It's a movie
37:36that hasn't come out yet
37:37but you know
37:37wait for it.
37:39And we both
37:40pulled up that evening
37:40with the exact
37:41same hip injury.
37:43But there was
37:44there was a time
37:45where I had a character
37:46in a TV show
37:47that had to get
37:47killed
37:48by this guy
37:49I was playing
37:50a bad detective
37:51they finally realized
37:52that I was crooked
37:52and the girl
37:54who's driving
37:54a hatchback
37:55I was like
37:56why do I have
37:57to get killed
37:57by a hatchback
37:58first of all
37:59but my brother
38:02was doubling me
38:03and I got to
38:04sit in a fold out
38:06chair
38:06on the rooftop
38:07of this car park
38:08with a blanket
38:09over my lap
38:10sipping a cup of tea
38:12watching my brother
38:14got to get annihilated
38:15by this hatchback
38:16and he broke
38:18the windshield
38:20and had glass
38:21sticking out
38:22of his hand
38:22and the stunt coordinator
38:24just came over
38:25with a vacuum cleaner
38:26and vacuumed it out
38:27but the night before
38:28or two nights before
38:29my mother had said
38:30you know
38:32is Joel going to do
38:33this dangerous thing
38:35and he said
38:36yeah
38:36but I'm going to
38:37you know
38:37she's like
38:38you're going to do it
38:39for him
38:39because what if
38:40Joel gets hurt
38:41he's like
38:43what if I get hurt
38:45he's like
38:46but that's your job
38:47so we know
38:50who your mother
38:50loves more
38:51he's the expendable one
38:52yeah yeah
38:52for sure
38:53yeah
38:53the movie is really
38:55beautiful
38:55it's a beautiful movie
38:56and sad
38:57but really rich
39:00I think
39:00and there's a scene
39:02I don't want to
39:03reveal anything
39:04but I think
39:04it's in the trailer
39:05so I think
39:05I can talk about it
39:06where you're in
39:07this plane
39:08your character's
39:09in the plane
39:09it's an old plane
39:11like a biplane
39:12it's got no top on it
39:13and you're just
39:14kind of flying around
39:15yeah
39:15and that seemed
39:17frightening to me
39:18well I was actually
39:18in a paddock
39:19just on a gimbal
39:21but what had happened
39:22was the director
39:23had called me
39:24and he's like
39:25alright
39:25but the scene
39:26with the plane
39:27I was like
39:28alright here it goes
39:29because you know
39:30I have four year old
39:31twins
39:31and before the kids
39:33came along
39:33I would have done
39:34anything
39:35they'd tell me
39:36like you've got to
39:36go parachute in a movie
39:37it was like I'm in
39:38now that I have kids
39:40I'm like I've got to
39:41stay alive
39:42and obviously
39:44I mean I want to
39:45anyway
39:45but now more than ever
39:46and I was like
39:48I don't know
39:49if I want to get
39:49in this plane
39:50it's going to be
39:51cheaper if I get
39:51in the plane
39:52more expensive
39:53if I don't
39:54I said no
39:55I don't feel good
39:56about doing it
39:57and then I spoke
39:58to my wife
39:59and she's like
39:59look maybe it's fine
40:00it's an old plane
40:01but it's got a new
40:01engine
40:02oh
40:03and I thought
40:05about it
40:05and I called
40:06the director
40:06I said
40:07I'm going
40:08in the plane
40:09and he was like
40:09thank you
40:10thank you
40:11and I was like
40:12you know
40:12feeling really
40:13nervous about it
40:14and the day
40:14before I was
40:15supposed to shoot
40:16it the insurance
40:17company said
40:18I wasn't allowed
40:19to do it
40:20and I was off
40:22the hook
40:22and I was like
40:23great I was
40:23the good guy
40:24I said yes
40:25yeah right
40:26and then they
40:27wouldn't let me
40:27do it
40:28it was the only
40:29time I've ever
40:30admired an
40:31insurance company
40:32the only time
40:34thank goodness
40:34for insurance
40:35I mean you know
40:37we could you know
40:39in California
40:39say a lot about
40:40insurance companies
40:41I hope you have
40:41I hope you run
40:42into Michael Keaton
40:43and really get to
40:44express your love
40:45for him
40:45and I think
40:46we should right
40:46we should tell
40:47people what we
40:49feel about them
40:49right
40:50you know
40:50rather than be cool
40:51and hiding
40:51so yeah
40:52if you see me
40:53at the Golden Globes
40:54or somewhere
40:55just like
40:56you know
40:56it would be a lot
40:57of fun
40:58if Michael Keaton
40:59really hits it
41:00off with your
41:00brother Nash
41:01and ignores you
41:02completely
41:02it seems like
41:04justice will be
41:05served
41:05Joel Edgerton
41:07everybody
41:07Train Dream
41:08it's on Netflix
41:10now
41:10we'll be right
41:11back
41:11you know
41:13shake your love
41:14shake your love
41:16shake your love
41:20I just can't
41:21shake your love
41:23shake your love
41:24come on
41:25shake it up
41:25shake your love
41:28I just can't
41:29shake it up
41:30thanks for Mickey
41:32blazer
41:32blazer
41:32Joel Edgerton
41:33and Debbie Gibson
41:34that is her book
41:35right there
41:36eternally electric
41:37apologies to Matt
41:38Damon
41:38we ran out of time
41:40for him
41:40nightline is next
41:41thanks for
41:41watching
41:41good night
41:42you
41:53you
41:53you
41:53you
41:55you
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