90 Day Fiance UK - Season 2 Episode 04- The Things You Do for Love
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00:00To marry a man that I've never met
00:03I've never felt so comfortable with someone in my life. I love her to bits. You're just meant to be
00:10Met this woman from Kazakhstan. I would like to marry her. She's lovely. I
00:17Would do anything for this man three weeks and we'll be officially married
00:30How do I know that you're even the person you say you are if you don't trust me off
00:37You and Jose it's weird. I'm not comfortable with it
00:41We ain't gonna kidnap you that doesn't worry me. It should I
00:46Really need to know if you've had sex with prostitutes. I
00:53Will marry her there she is gorgeous
00:56It takes a certain kind of person to be okay with it
01:00We don't know I am just I'm worried anything could happen to our valuables. It's my family. They come talk shake it about my family
01:09She could be classed as quite high maintenance. I always like nice things. It's money. That's all she wants you for
01:16In fact, the men are okay. You being out there on your own night freaks me out. Why don't you trust me?
01:23This is your pop. How is it f***ing like pop?
01:28I love you, Jukai
01:33Not before the wedding excited, babe. I'm just waiting for it to be over
01:39I just wish she was more excited because we're getting married
01:44Everybody in my family is against this
01:47I love you, Jukai
01:48I love you, Jukai
01:49I love you, Jukai
01:50I love you, Jukai
01:51And that's it. We're now husband and wife
01:54I'm really praying that Jose can go to the UK
01:58If they stop him, we will have to find some other way
02:02I sell the ice maiden
02:06She's from Kazakhstan
02:07I love you
02:09Thank you
02:11My thoughts are to see how it goes during this visit
02:14If things are feeling right, then propose to her
02:18Is flowers so happy?
02:22LGBT rights just aren't the same in Turkey
02:24I keep looking over my shoulder thinking
02:26Who knows about us?
02:30Will you move?
02:31Of course I will, baby
02:32Baby
02:57It's good, yummy
02:58What is it?
02:59What is it?
03:00Cheese?
03:02Yeah
03:04We've just got married and I'm so happy
03:07Really emotional
03:08I can't believe that we've done it
03:10Oh yeah, you're chicken, chicken
03:17Love you
03:18Love you too
03:21It's got jammy dodger bits on its lips
03:24Chicken
03:25Chicken, yeah
03:26Where is it?
03:27Is it a boy or a girl?
03:28Is it a boy or a girl?
03:29We don't even know what sex is
03:31That's it
03:35Oh, I speak chicken
03:37Now we're married, it's made us even more desperate to live together properly
03:47Jose is coming to the UK on a tourist visa
03:53But he can only stay in the country for three months
03:57Jose can't get the same plane so he's going to come back on a flight just after me
04:03I'm coming to the UK for 90 days
04:06I'm coming to the UK for 90 days
04:10Yeah
04:11Shhh
04:12Well I'm coming to the UK
04:13Happy birthday baby
04:14Happy birthday baby
04:28Happy birthday baby
04:29Happy birthday baby
04:30Happy birthday, baby.
04:39Happy birthday, baby.
04:42Ah.
04:45You're going to make me cry.
04:46I've just done my eyelashes.
04:48This year, this mine.
04:50Ah, don't make me cry.
04:52It's my birthday today, and I'm just feeling totes emotion.
04:57I'm back from Turkey, and now I've got this engagement ring
05:00on my finger.
05:01It just reinforces how much I love him.
05:04Ah, that's so sweet.
05:09You have to blow the candles out for me, and I'll make a wish.
05:12I miss you more today.
05:14It's my birthday, and you're not here, and it's stressing me out.
05:18I'm sorry.
05:19I'm not with you today.
05:21If I have the visa right now, of course I'm with you.
05:26I know you would, babe, and I know you would be.
05:28Tomorrow, I'm going to ring the lawyer.
05:30And hopefully get this visa.
05:34Matt will be so much safer being in a relationship with me in England
05:38than he would be in Turkey.
05:39Same-sex couples just don't have the same rights as they do in England.
05:43It's imperative to get him here so we can live a life together,
05:46that we feel safe, and we don't have to keep looking over our shoulders.
05:48Thank you so much.
05:51Thank you so much.
05:51It's all right.
05:51So, Grace should be here any time soon, and then we're going to go for a meal,
06:01and then probably go for another couple of drinks afterwards.
06:03Yeah, that's the urgent holiday.
06:05OK.
06:06I, with grace, I all say, no worries.
06:10Yeah.
06:11It's my birthday tonight.
06:13If I want some drinks, I'm having some drinks.
06:16What does it say?
06:21Matt and Shane, I believe you.
06:25I trust you.
06:27Huh?
06:32Thank you, baby.
06:33Even though I'm crying, you've made me smile so much.
06:37I couldn't ask for a better fiancée.
06:41Oh, God.
06:42I need to pour myself together.
06:43I need a glass of wine, a Prosecco or something.
06:46Yeah, I'm more OK.
06:49I'm all snotty now because you made me cry.
06:51I love you.
06:52Bye.
06:52Bye.
06:55Bye.
06:57Oh, what a fucking bastard, making me cry like that.
07:03Really proper crying.
07:08Oh, my God.
07:09Why do I keep fucking crying?
07:13I keep thinking to myself, like, why has he picked me?
07:17Like, he's just perfect.
07:25Did she hit the bed?
07:25Like, why am I this special one?
07:30Like, he's so handsome, charming.
07:34Like, I just doubt myself a lot.
07:39People have hurt me so much in the past.
07:42So, I just hope that this is, like, my happy ever after.
07:47Oh, fucking hell.
07:50I've just left Colombia.
08:11I married Jose after only meeting him ten days ago.
08:15And I've decided that we can't be apart, so he's now going to come to the UK to stay with me.
08:23I've landed, and I can't wait to see him.
08:25Now I just want Jose to hurry up and land so we can get to my house.
08:46There's only three minutes left until Jose lands.
08:50And I'm just getting a little bit nervous and excited all at the same time.
08:58Yay, Jose's landed.
09:00It's three o'clock.
09:01I'm trying to be nosy and look at people's suitcases, and they probably think, what is this woman doing?
09:09But I'm trying to see where they're arriving from.
09:14That is Bogata.
09:18That's Bogata suitcases as well.
09:21I'm not too sure what the delay is, and what's going on, so it's just making me a bit nervous.
09:29Where is he?
09:38He rang and he simply can't connect.
09:41He's worrying that he's not answering his phone, but it might be the signal from Colombia to the UK.
09:48Maybe it's not picking up a network.
09:53I actually feel like I'm going to vomit.
09:56Vomit, really.
09:59It could be that we're waiting just for the bags.
10:01It could be the language barrier at customs.
10:04It could be the questions they're asking him.
10:06I don't know because I'm not there.
10:07Is that in my control?
10:09So it's just not very nice.
10:11I'm waiting, but there's still no sign of Jose.
10:14I'm starting to get slightly worried now.
10:18Hello?
10:21I am my partner, Jose Francesco Lopez Ardilla.
10:24He's coming to visit me and stay at my home.
10:27I'm waiting in the arrivals for him.
10:28I've just had a phone call from somebody in immigration asking about mine and Jose's relationship and questioning what we're doing together.
10:40This is so bad right now.
10:42I genuinely thought that it would be OK and that, obviously, because he was just staying with me at my home, there shouldn't be a problem.
10:52OK.
10:52When I looked at the government website, I thought we did everything correctly, because it said it was now visa-free.
11:01And as long as he had somewhere to stay, but he had his return ticket, that he would be supported, I thought that would be substantial enough.
11:11Because we've put a lot of effort into our relationship.
11:17Why does nobody believe our relationship?
11:20OK, did you, would you like to see the marriage certificate, or is there going to be a problem with him coming through, or is Jose OK?
11:34OK, thank you for your help.
11:36Thank you, bye.
11:46Jose's now stuck in immigration.
11:48I think they're going to send him back.
11:50He's come all this way.
11:51This is absolutely devastating.
11:54My heart is breaking.
12:06My daughter, Arwen, is coming up from London to visit us.
12:25We do a lot of exciting things together.
12:28I'm definitely the better driver, Dad.
12:30See if you can keep up.
12:31See if you can keep up, more like.
12:34OK.
12:36I think it's fair to say we're pretty competitive.
12:42Very.
12:47We get on quite well most of the time.
12:49Yeah, I think we've got generally a good relationship.
12:51We have a lot of fun together.
12:58Good race.
13:02Myself's been here for a few days.
13:04So, we'll all be spending some time together.
13:07Yeah, there's definitely a rivalry of sorts between us, L and Arwen.
13:11Welcome home.
13:13Finally.
13:13Want some dinner?
13:15Definitely, I'm hungry.
13:17How do you get to feed you, Mink?
13:20Sorry.
13:21Sorry.
13:21I learned from Robert that Arwen will stay for a week, probably.
13:29For me, it may be too long, because I came to visit Robert, and I would like to be with him alone.
13:36Oh, for very, very brief encounters with her, I said, quite clearly that she doesn't want anything to do with Arwen.
13:50There is a space to hang out on battery.
13:53You see, there is space to hang out something.
13:56Oh, on the roof?
13:57Yeah.
13:58We are very different people, and we have different interests.
14:03I'm very ambitious, and she's not, and she has attitude.
14:10Can I squeeze into the cupboard?
14:11Mm-hmm.
14:12When I first met us out, she was like, oh, hi, nice to meet you, and then, yeah, it just went downhill after that, but...
14:23Try not to roll your car again, eh?
14:25No, you're so funny.
14:27All right, let's see what you can do, junior racing driver.
14:30A bit of understeer.
14:34Really fast, right, Kink?
14:36You shouldn't be in-tugged.
14:37Really fast.
14:38Before she'd even met Arwen, Asel made it quite clear that she was in competition with Arwen.
14:45She stated a number of times that she doesn't want to be the number two woman.
14:50Good apex.
14:52But she's got to understand that Arwen is my daughter.
14:55She's a huge part of my life, and if me and Asel are going to have a life together and kids together,
15:01then she's going to be a huge part of that life as well.
15:03Me and Arwen, we are not going very well, and I just want to prove, Robert, that I'm making an effort, actually.
15:20So I'm cooking Polish pierogi and Kazakh national bread, boursak.
15:28Karate chop!
15:29You don't have to be so annoying, you know?
15:33Yes.
15:33No, you don't.
15:34So do it?
15:34No, you don't.
15:35You really don't.
15:36What's that?
15:37Ding!
15:38People!
15:39Food!
15:41People, food!
15:43I spent half of the day cooking.
15:47It's a huge effort, and I hope they will enjoy their dinner.
15:52That's like something out of the Kravmans.
15:55Looks like something out of the Kravmans.
15:57And it will be Polish pierogi, and it's with turkey and dried cranberries.
16:05I'm feeling very nervous about trying dinner tonight that Asel's cooked.
16:11I'm a very fussy person.
16:20I don't like this.
16:22I do not like this.
16:24Good.
16:29Yeah.
16:31Eat more.
16:32You're not just having one bite.
16:33Try it properly.
16:34I did.
16:35You didn't.
16:35You had one bite.
16:37I've got to eat my bread.
16:40I feel a Scylla's noticed straight away that I do not like the food.
16:45I think she might be a little offended by it, and I'm not too happy.
16:50I'm a little offended by it, never mind her.
16:54Try it properly.
16:54The turkey bit's nice.
17:09She is not a good actress because she said it's nice, but she barely tasted them.
17:17This is not happening.
17:19Why am I the only one eating?
17:23She doesn't like it either.
17:24I think that Arwen is a spoiled, disrespectful, and ungrateful child.
17:33You can have Arwen's portion.
17:36Mm-hmm.
17:37Yeah.
17:37At the end of the day, I can't force Arwen to eat.
17:47She doesn't want the pierogi, so at least Bella's enjoying it.
17:51Okay, too.
17:54A Scylla's relationship with Arwen, or lack thereof, is something we're working on, and
18:00hopefully something that will change in the future.
18:03The right way of things should be that a Scylla and Arwen have a bond together and gang
18:08up and bully me, not that the two of them should be fighting and I should be playing peacemaker.
18:12I'm literally so happy that I'm finally back in Kenya seeing Marcy.
18:33She's a woman of my dreams.
18:34So we're on our way to Marcy's village because we're getting married tomorrow.
18:38We're having a traditional African wedding, and I'm not entirely sure what happens.
18:42This is completely new territory.
18:45The wedding will take place over two days.
18:47I'm feeling nervous about getting married and moving to England, but everything is prepared
18:51for the wedding.
18:52I have to get on with it.
18:55I'm so nervous.
18:56There's a million and one things going on in my head.
18:59How much am I going to have to dance?
19:01How the dowry's going to be?
19:03What's expected of me?
19:05It's just overwhelming.
19:07Oh, jeez.
19:08Coming into the village, there's so many people.
19:21Why is there so many people here?
19:23Half of those people, I don't know them.
19:24At least you know half more than me.
19:26What am I supposed to do?
19:28Just say hi to people.
19:32I'm terrified.
19:33Where's your mum?
19:34Where's your dad?
19:36Oh, my dear, dear.
19:38I'm so nervous.
19:40First of all, I've got to go meet her parents.
19:43I don't know what to expect, to be honest.
19:45Can we open the door?
19:46Can we just go open the door?
19:47Oh, yeah.
19:49What if they don't like me?
19:50What if they take one look at me and think, nah, get lost, mate?
19:53There's no turning back now.
20:00Hi, too late.
20:01Hello.
20:02Fine.
20:02How are you?
20:03Fine.
20:04I'm fine.
20:06How are you?
20:07Good to see you.
20:09They seem happy to see me.
20:11I don't know what I'm so worried about.
20:14But then I turn around and see 300 people there I've got to go and talk to.
20:18Fine.
20:18Fine.
20:19Fine.
20:19Fine.
20:20I don't know any one of them.
20:21They're all neighbours and maybe just people from the road.
20:26This is our week to our tradition.
20:29Like, they say a girl is not eaten by one person.
20:32Pardon?
20:33A girl is not eaten.
20:35Don't overthink about it.
20:41Is that it?
20:42Is that everyone?
20:43Every time I think I've met everyone, Marcie brings another aunt.
20:47What's that aunt?
20:48Uncle.
20:48Oh, this is my uncle.
20:50Cousin.
20:50Ah, I'll come see her to the other one.
20:53How many family members do you want?
20:55Oh, my granddad.
20:57My granddad is that one.
20:58Here we are.
20:58Remember?
21:00Oh, how are you?
21:03Yeah, very good.
21:04It is moving really quick because obviously me and Marcie love each other and we want to be together.
21:14And obviously the distance is keeping us from being together.
21:17So we're closing that gap once and for all and going to live life to the full.
21:21I'm going to get married.
21:25I'm really, I'm not really that much nervous.
21:28I'm just excited that it's getting over.
21:30I'm used to being alone and it's quite a big change.
21:32So it will need a lot of hard work.
21:34I'll try my best, but I can't promise anything right now.
21:38Come here.
21:39Oh, you'll be okay, baby, bro.
21:43The party's in full swing.
21:53Everyone's laughing, joking.
22:07I'm having a great time enjoying the party and then Marcie dragged me off.
22:11I'm thinking, what the hell's going on?
22:20Now I'm standing next to this pen of goats, wondering what's going on.
22:28We have come here to see the goats, so we have one of them.
22:33That will be cut.
22:35Pardon?
22:38To be slaughtered.
22:39Oh, my God.
22:41So, these are the goats.
22:44This one, that one, that one, that one.
22:47Yeah?
22:48I forgot to tell Michael that one of the traditions is that he will have to kill a goat.
22:56I don't know if I'm going to be able to go through with it.
22:58Can I kill a goat?
22:59Killing a goat signifies that I won't be able to bring any other man in the household.
23:23Like, it's the ceiling of marriage.
23:26Yeah, that one.
23:26That one.
23:27I don't mind you choose.
23:28They are four.
23:33I've got to choose one of these goats to kill.
23:35But they're all looking at me with the sad eyes.
23:37How am I supposed to choose one?
23:38That one for me.
23:39That one.
23:39That one, that's fine.
23:40Yes.
23:41I can't imagine killing a goat and being all right with it after.
23:45But it's tradition.
23:46And it's a tradition that I've done for hundreds of years.
23:50So, at the end of the day, I've just got to suck it up and do it.
23:55Get near to...
23:56Yeah.
23:57What are we doing?
23:58I'm freaking out a bit now.
23:59I've never killed anything before.
24:00It's dead.
24:19It's dead.
24:23Things you do for love, eh?
24:25I'm in a state of shock at the moment.
24:26I know I signed up for a traditional wedding.
24:29But I hope all this madness is over.
24:31What can happen next?
24:52You're left at the menu.
24:54I just know.
24:55I always get the catsuit curry.
24:57Always.
24:59Steak.
25:00Oh.
25:01Me, Mum and Grace are going to go out for a birthday meal tonight and a couple of drinks after.
25:06Oh, perfect.
25:07Oh, lovely birthday drink.
25:15Wow, it's gentil.
25:16Watch this.
25:17Happy birthday.
25:19Happy birthday.
25:19Oh, we'll do it.
25:20Oh, on the bottom.
25:21Oh, we don't want seven years of bad sacks.
25:24Is that a Turkish thing or something?
25:26No, that's a thing.
25:27Sometimes you're about 14.
25:29Yeah.
25:29Tips and ass.
25:30Bang at the table so you don't get seven years of bad sex.
25:33And you don't want that, do you?
25:34No.
25:35Go tell me what you've done today because I've hardly seen you.
25:38I'm so stressed.
25:40I'm so, so stressed.
25:42With a capital stress.
25:44I'm trying to enjoy my birthday tonight, but this visa process has taken over my whole life.
25:48It's taken so long and I just can't relax.
25:51I'm two months behind.
25:53I wanted to get Mert here for February.
25:55Now he's not going to be here till, like, end of, well, May time.
25:59I'm having to get this document and this document.
26:02So many different things.
26:03Yeah.
26:04And Mert can't do it because he doesn't understand English.
26:08Like, I'd ask him, I need to know everywhere that you've lived in the last five years.
26:12Yeah.
26:13And he didn't tell me.
26:16When it was wrong, I was trying to explain to him what I needed.
26:18He said, oh, you don't need that.
26:20I said, no, I do need that.
26:21If I don't put things down, then I'm going to lose £3,000.
26:24Yeah.
26:24Where am I going to find this money from again?
26:26Yeah, I think so.
26:27Is it the mindset always that everything will be fine?
26:30Yeah.
26:31Apart from fine.
26:32Do you understand the pressure, though?
26:34I don't know.
26:35Like, the pressure on my shoulders at the moment is in men's.
26:38Yeah.
26:39I pay for this money.
26:40Yeah.
26:40Maybe for other people, £3,000 is nothing.
26:43For me, it's a lot of money.
26:44If you haven't got it, you can't help it.
26:45I mean, like, I said to him, I need a little bit of support.
26:49Even if it's just, like, a thousand lira.
26:52When I first met him, it wasn't, like, the way it is now.
26:56I didn't pay for anything, but when I say to him,
26:58we need to save for this visa, we're trying to...
27:01But it's still a pressure.
27:02It's another pressure.
27:03Yeah.
27:04There's a lot at stake here, and she's never been in a situation
27:07before where she's loved someone the way she loves Matt.
27:12No.
27:12Like, if this does not go through, like, I can't even...
27:17I don't even want to think about the state.
27:19The shame it's going to be in.
27:20So all this money is just mounting up and mounting up to you.
27:23That's a lot for one person to have to deal with.
27:26The pressure is on.
27:27Do you know what I mean?
27:28And obviously, for me, a big worry is the longer we're together,
27:34the more likely somebody is going to find out.
27:37Yeah.
27:38I'm absolutely terrified that someone will find out
27:41my true gender identity.
27:42Every day he's in Turkey, I fear for him and I worry about him.
27:46The quicker I can get him here, the better.
27:47But, yeah, for tonight, I think that's enough, like, drama talk.
27:51Serious talk.
27:52I think we should just have a nice, like, girly night now.
27:55Have a couple of drinks.
27:56And you look absolutely stunning as well, Hal.
27:58Oh, thank you.
27:58You all look stunning.
28:00Tits and arse don't get seven years of bad sex.
28:04You're definitely buying the shots in a bit.
28:06I'll buy you as many shots as you want.
28:08It's been two and a half hours since I last spoke to the immigration officer.
28:32Me and Jose have been texting back and forth.
28:34They've just left him in a room and it's horrible.
28:55It feels really horrible to think that Jose's on the other side of the ball
29:00and I can't do anything to help him
29:01and I can't get to him and I can't make it OK.
29:04I mean, I don't know what's going on now.
29:06It doesn't look good.
29:08We've only been married a short time
29:09and I might have to say goodbye to him again.
29:12They're being funny with letting Jose in, so I'm waiting.
29:15They're not...
29:16They what?
29:17They're being funny, Mum.
29:19They're being funny?
29:20Yeah.
29:21I thought they were saying...
29:23Right, I'm not going to say that exactly, Mum, yeah?
29:31But there's a problem.
29:32Yeah.
29:33It's being awkward.
29:34Yes, all right?
29:35OK, are you there?
29:37Are you?
29:37I'm sat here waiting.
29:38I've just spoke to an immigration officer, yeah?
29:41Yeah.
29:42And they're going to call me back.
29:44I'm just sat here waiting.
29:46All right, then.
29:47All right?
29:48All right, then.
29:50OK, Mum.
29:50OK, bye.
29:52Bye.
29:54I know my mum can't do much down the phone,
29:57but I just needed that support right now.
29:59I don't know who else to call.
30:03Jose just messaged me two things.
30:06One, the wheel broke on his favourite suitcase,
30:09which I don't think is high importance right now.
30:12And two, that they've just made him do bi...
30:15I'm so sorry, biometric exams.
30:18I'm thinking this positive, yes.
30:20Hopefully, you'll come out here soon,
30:22and then this shit will be over.
30:27This has been fucking terrible.
30:29I did not expect it to be this bad.
30:32This is fucking shit.
30:33How are you going out?
30:55I was going to put on my shorts and t-shirt.
30:57You go and change clothes.
31:01We are going to axe rowing.
31:02It was Robert's idea.
31:05And you are ready?
31:06You go like that?
31:07Uh, I think so.
31:09Mm-hmm.
31:09He told me that we will go together,
31:12and I expected that it will be a date,
31:14but Arvind is going with us.
31:17Ah, okay.
31:18No.
31:19What's wrong with this?
31:20They are very old,
31:22and they have holes.
31:23Arvind, are you not embarrassed with him like this?
31:25Turn my leg out.
31:27Yeah.
31:27I feel a sales influence on my dad's wardrobe choices.
31:32A wee bit weird.
31:33Like, why doesn't she accept his style?
31:36Acceptable.
31:39Now you're talking.
31:40Oh.
31:41Are you not going to wear any sweater?
31:43I'll get warm, dodgy neuraxes.
31:46You don't even argue that point.
31:48I'm not an emotional person.
31:50No.
31:50No.
31:57All right, one condition.
32:01Neither of you is up to fucking kill me, right?
32:04I will try.
32:05Yeah.
32:07I would prefer that it was just me and Robert.
32:10There is already competition between me and Arvind,
32:14you know, for Robert's attentions.
32:16Nice.
32:18A sales creating this kind of competitive edge between them,
32:22and I'm not too sure now that axe throwing was maybe the best idea.
32:27Oh.
32:30I'm lucky.
32:32It seems to be turning out.
32:33Arvind's a better axe thrower than myself,
32:35so I think that's going to annoy her.
32:39Oh.
32:43There it is.
32:50I don't like to lose, honestly.
32:53Competing with Robert, I know that because he's men, he will win.
32:56But between me and Arvind, it's not very good.
33:07I'm lucky.
33:08I mean, obviously, it'd be nice to be a sell,
33:10because, I mean, who wouldn't want to beat someone?
33:13It was close.
33:1425, 19, not too far away, and four.
33:22Having the least score, it doesn't make me happy.
33:26Ah, good laugh, eh?
33:29I would like to see a sell just sort of putting in the effort
33:32to be a friend with Arvind rather than a competitor.
33:36They can both be the most important women in my life.
33:39If a sell was to push it far down that line,
33:42then she would lose, unfortunately.
33:44I hope she doesn't, and I hope she realises
33:46that that's a ridiculous position to put me in.
34:07How did you feel about me killing the goat?
34:09I did not like it, because that goat was living its good life.
34:13You're a vegan now, aren't you?
34:14No.
34:18I think we are all seated.
34:22I would like to say to everyone, be welcome.
34:26A really important part about an African wedding
34:28is paying a dowry, which shows appreciation
34:31to Marcy's parents for raising her.
34:34So, babe, how much do you think you're worth for the dowry?
34:36$50 million.
34:37Yeah?
34:39That's nice thing for a long time, then.
34:41So, today is a day of bringing to agreement
34:45this dowry payment.
34:47The dowry discussion is where my parents and the elders
34:49check if everything that Mike was asked to give is there.
34:53If anything is missing,
34:54they can actually call the wedding off.
34:57Three goats.
34:58You have confirmed, yeah?
35:00You have confirmed that they are there.
35:02I don't know what these elders will say,
35:04and I've heard that people are really scrutinized.
35:08Soda.
35:10Three crates.
35:12They were brought.
35:13At this juncture, what you do,
35:20you pick your favorite soda.
35:24You tell her her favorite soda,
35:27you give her, she holds it.
35:29From there, you share,
35:32you give her her favorite
35:34when she's giving you your hot red.
35:37I thought it was just having a drink,
35:39but it turns out it's some kind of strange ritual.
35:41It's your favorite.
35:42Cool, cool.
35:43Yeah, good.
35:45Must.
35:46I'll bring you first.
35:48Yeah.
35:48I pray for...
35:49For the soda.
35:50For the soda.
35:51To be honest,
35:52I have no idea what's going on anymore.
35:54Okay.
35:56God, we come before you.
35:57We say thank you for everything that you've done to us,
35:59Lord.
36:00I pray for this soda.
36:01Okay, okay, okay.
36:02First, I've got to kill a goat.
36:04Now, I've got to do some kind of ritual with soda.
36:06What's going on?
36:09Yeah?
36:10Who do?
36:10Who?
36:11I am.
36:12At least I don't have to kill anything this time.
36:16You got the wrong hand.
36:18Claps.
36:19We now move forward to get my parents and elders to check if everything Michael has given
36:29is there.
36:31Mike, did you come with a crate of bananas?
36:35You sort the bananas out?
36:38Yeah.
36:39You are confirmed, yeah?
36:40Then we have 20 kg sugar.
36:43Yeah.
36:44Seen it?
36:45Okay.
36:46Three blankets.
36:49And the four bedsheets.
36:51Yeah.
36:52Okay.
36:53We've seen goats.
36:54The four of them.
36:56Blankets.
36:58Those few things.
37:00Michael is nervous.
37:01They can see it on his face.
37:03I've told him about the direct discussion.
37:05Most of the time, it does not go well because people like causing trauma.
37:09So if I'm caught as a witness, I cannot say I saw anything.
37:13Okay.
37:14Yeah.
37:14So why don't you see these things then?
37:16Yeah.
37:16All of a sudden, Uncle starts bringing trauma, saying that he can't see everything.
37:21Please, Uncle, I know you like talking.
37:22Can you show us?
37:23So he gives us three people.
37:25Yes.
37:26They go and they inspect, and then he brings the reports.
37:30Report.
37:30Report.
37:32Marcy's uncle is going for everything, and he seems to want everything there and then.
37:37But it's all in the next room.
37:38This is true.
37:48Uncle's always try to cause trauma when it comes to discussion.
37:52I don't know why.
37:53I've never known why.
37:54Plus, drink red soda soda.
37:56Three red soda beer.
37:59Yeah, I've been a good day.
38:00Why? Why aren't you being a good man?
38:03Uncle, why aren't you being a good man?
38:04Yeah.
38:06I and my team, as a team,
38:10there was something I don't know.
38:12Right, sir.
38:13Yeah.
38:15Omete, I don't know whether it was the limba, I think.
38:19Marcy's uncle is a stickler for detail.
38:22Yeah, it's the beer for the owner.
38:24He's asking where the booze is, but it ain't here yet,
38:27because Marcy's friends are late.
38:29This could completely mess things up.
38:35If they're not happy with the dowry, there is no wedding.
38:40B is coming.
38:42It's coming.
38:43Patience is a virtue.
38:45That's okay.
38:50That is a feeling.
38:51I'm absolutely buzzing.
38:52All the dowry's been signed off.
38:53We can finally get married tomorrow.
39:06Thank you for mercy and our fiancé.
39:08We have confirmed that they are ready to tender in the marriage life.
39:12The door is over and the elders are giving us blessings.
39:15Me and Michael can finally get married.
39:18So moving to England.
39:19But if I'm not happy, I'll be the first flight back to Kenya.
39:23It's been six hours now.
39:24Jose's messaging me when he can.
39:25It's been six hours now.
39:26Jose's messaging me when he can.
39:27It's been six hours now.
39:48He doesn't understand what's going on.
39:49Jose's really upset.
39:50He keeps saying, I'm not a bad person.
39:51Why are they doing this to me?
39:52It's been six hours now.
39:53Jose's messaging me when he can.
39:55He doesn't understand what's going on.
40:12Jose's really upset.
40:14He keeps saying, I'm not a bad person.
40:16Why are they doing this to me?
40:18He needs to go to toilet.
40:19He just doesn't understand what's going on.
40:21This is just wrong and so cruel.
40:24Is there anywhere else I can wait that's more comfortable or...?
40:27OK.
40:28Immigration have finally called me back,
40:31but it still doesn't sound good.
40:34He's a solo artist.
40:36I'm not too sure of his earnings.
40:38He's got music on YouTube and things like that.
40:41Would they not want to see me or talk to me in person as well?
40:44They don't know?
40:45No, that's fair enough.
40:48Would they not want to see me or talk to me in person as well?
41:00No, that's fair enough.
41:01I'll wait a bit longer. I'd rather just wait a bit longer.
41:06He's got IBS and I don't know if his stomach was hurting him
41:09and if he was able to use the toilet.
41:15Oh, thank you.
41:16Oh, thank you very much.
41:18Okay, thank you. Bye-bye.
41:23They still haven't made a decision.
41:31I'm getting really desperate now.
41:34Jose is my whole world and if they don't let him in,
41:37I really don't know what's going to happen.
41:39I can tell that they haven't got very much patience
41:41because when I mentioned that he's got a funny stomach,
41:44the man went, oh, like that.
41:52Jose just messaged me saying, it's okay, don't say sorry.
41:56He said, I'm his life and he loves me.
41:57When I was younger, I used to imagine, like, it's so silly,
42:10like, love was a fairy tale and a dream.
42:13Then as I got older and I was with other people and they broke that dream and that fairy tale
42:20and then I met Jose and then he made me realise it is real, there is fairy tales, there is dreams, there are people that really do love.
42:31We went to the beach and I had sand on my feet and he got the water bottle and it made me sit down and he washed all my feet
42:45and rubbed all the sand off and then put my shoes and socks back on for me.
42:49Nobody's ever done anything like that for me before.
42:52I've just been told that he's not leaving any time soon.
43:06I've been here for over eight hours.
43:09They suggested that I should go home.
43:10I'm frightened and I'm scared and if he goes back to Colombia, I really don't know what that means
43:21and what's going to happen for the rest of our relationship.
43:40I don't see Arwen very often anymore and she's living down in England at the moment
43:47so I've arranged for her to come and have a bit of lunch before she goes back.
43:51A cell's working so it's just me and Arwen.
43:54What do you think of a cell anyway now that you've spent a little bit of time with her?
43:58She's really closed off and doesn't care about anyone apart from herself right now.
44:03A little but unfair I think.
44:06I wouldn't say you know her well enough to make that judgement.
44:09What makes you think that?
44:10She never wants to get to know me.
44:15You know?
44:17Just like a really closed off person.
44:20Like she's very...
44:23That was lovely.
44:25Nice to meet you.
44:26You know?
44:27I would say when she's with me she expresses more joy.
44:32That's just what I see.
44:35My perspective.
44:37She seems like she's not a very happy person.
44:40She seems kind of, kind of down all the time.
44:44She's not excited to do anything.
44:46How would you feel about a Kazakhstani step-mum?
44:49It's just a bit too soon.
44:55She hates me.
44:56She doesn't hate you.
44:58Surely if you wanted to come into someone's family you'd be positive about it.
45:01You'd want to get to know their family you know?
45:04Obviously I don't know her that well but...
45:06I just don't know her intentions on you and her.
45:13What do you mean?
45:15Elaborate.
45:16It's like she doesn't actually want to be in a relationship.
45:19You're like a trophy.
45:20You know?
45:22I'm not trophy.
45:23Yeah, if I am saying that she can go to her friends and say,
45:27Oh look, I have a boyfriend from Scotland and he's older than me and he owns a house.
45:32I just feel like it's money and that's all she wants you for.
45:38Yeah, I disagree.
45:39I am concerned that a cell is taking advantage of my dad because obviously she wants everything paid for.
45:47She wants to live such a lavish and expensive lifestyle and I think she expects my dad to pay and I disagree with that.
45:56So dad, if you did end up getting engaged I would limit my time to come up because obviously it wouldn't be a pleasant time when I'm coming up being around someone like that.
46:07That doesn't work for me. I get to see you a little enough as it is.
46:10My love for Arwen is unconditional.
46:12She's my daughter.
46:13That's never going to change and I'm always going to be there for her.
46:17And I'm going to really love a cell as well and want to build a future with her.
46:21So the fact that there's problems with them getting on is incredibly difficult for me.
46:27You think that is the right decision and that's what you want to do?
46:30Go for it.
46:31By all means, go for it.
46:33But if it turns out it's a wrong decision, you will not forget about it.
46:37Why did you act like that last night?
46:59You know I love you when we're in the pub.
47:02Who this man?
47:03I not trust this man.
47:04Why this man here?
47:05Why?
47:06I don't know that man, okay?
47:09Last night after the meal, me, Mum and Grace went for a couple of drinks in the pub and Matt was just on one.
47:14He was ringing and ringing and ringing me.
47:15He was questioning who I was with.
47:17It was like, who's this man in the background to someone literally walking past the back of me.
47:22He was super jealous and I've never seen that side to him.
47:24He was literally on FaceTime to me in the pub.
47:27But you tell me you have one hour, no more time.
47:29It's my birthday.
47:31I want to have a couple of drinks.
47:32Then you told me I couldn't have any more drinks.
47:35You're making me feel like you didn't trust me.
47:37I'm nearly going to finish.
47:39Are you fucking serious?
47:42Because I told you, yeah, you can go ask for a drink for your birthday.
47:47Yeah.
47:48One glass or two glass.
47:50Finish, not three glass.
47:51If I want to have...
47:53I told you there's people.
47:55Why are you drinking outside?
47:57It's nice to go out.
47:59If you stress me now, I don't want to speak.
48:02What's the problem?
48:03Why don't you trust me?
48:04I trust you.
48:05But I am not trusting people.
48:07Okay?
48:09Yeah.
48:09Look, I am jealous, okay?
48:12Right, there's the truth.
48:13I just want you to apologize, babe.
48:16I swear to God I don't have apologies.
48:19This is your pub.
48:21How is it fucking my fault?
48:24Yeah.
48:24How is it my fault that you made me cry and I'm in the toilets on my birthday crying my eyes out?
48:30Why are you not telling me about this bitch, man?
48:34Oh, because, look, I sat.
48:37Listen to me.
48:38Listen to me.
48:39How am I meant to see I haven't got fucking eyes in the back of my head?
48:43Babe, have a nice day, okay?
48:45Don't you fucking dare.
48:46If you hang up the phone, I will lose the plug.
48:52This shit might fly in Turkey, but this shit definitely doesn't fly with me.
48:56Grace, did you make that tea, babe?
49:06I did not want I interupped.
49:08Okay.
49:09Yeah.
49:12You're off the phone now?
49:13Yeah.
49:14Oh, pal.
49:15Oh.
49:17It's powerful, isn't it?
49:19Oh, I just stressed, mate.
49:20She was on one all night.
49:23A whole day he was on one.
49:24I don't really know what happened, just Mert was not happy.
49:27It was definitely jealousy, definitely.
49:29And Mert should trust Shane.
49:31When Mert comes here, I think he'll realise how much of a difference it is and how we all behave.
49:37And it'll be a big shock for him.
49:39Then also, he might get more controlling.
49:41I'd like to think that it wouldn't get any worse.
49:45But you just don't know, do you?
49:48Speak of the devil.
49:50If you're in my life, if you're my wife, if I'm not there, you can't go.
49:59Are you fucking stupid?
50:01Are you stupid?
50:02You are going to make me lose my mind.
50:04And I will come through the phone and slap you, stupid.
50:06You stressed me out, wait.
50:07After last night, you never can drink outside.
50:12Wow.
50:13This right now, big problem.
50:16You want a drink or you want me?
50:19Of course I want you, you fucking idiot.
50:22Okay, you can't drink outside.
50:23Oh, my God.
50:24This is getting ridiculous.
50:26Yeah, you need to come to my way.
50:28No, that's not possible.
50:30Maybe in Turkey, the man makes all the rules.
50:32But in our life, this is not possible.
50:35Okay, today you're going to all the thinking, okay?
50:38Thinking what?
50:39Is there another rule coming out of your mouth?
50:40This is my life, my rules.
50:42Do you know her?
50:43We're going round and round and round in circles here.
50:45We're not getting anywhere.
50:47Yeah, this is your fault.
50:49I'm going to go now.
50:50I'm going to close phone because I'm just fucking sick of going round and round in circles
50:54and just shouting at each other.
50:55Could you not see my inside breaking?
51:00Could you see?
51:00Where do we go from here?
51:03We're going to be engaged.
51:04We're going to be in the honeymoon period.
51:07If this is what it's going to be like, then I don't know.
51:17I'm really, really desperate now.
51:20I need to actually see him so I know he actually is really in the UK.
51:25Me and Alejandro have decided to get married in Mexico.
51:32Oh my God, my connecting flights being changed to three days later.
51:36I can't even think she works in social media.
51:38I don't know what are we going to do because if she doesn't get here on time,
51:41we're not going to get married.
51:47I'm here in Kenya marrying the woman of my dreams.
51:50This is going to be the happiest day of my life.
51:52Marcy, why do you look down?
51:55I'm going to move miles away and leave everything.
51:58It's quite a lot to digest.
52:00Cheer up, Marcy.
52:01It's your wedding day.
52:02Marcy, you too.
52:08And we've got to thank you.
52:11We're going to take care of each other.
52:12Wow.
52:13Bye.
52:18Bye.
52:18Bye.
52:29Bye.
52:30Bye.
52:30Bye.
52:30Bye.
52:30Bye.
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