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FunTranscript
00:00I'll tell you what, that's got a great nose.
00:05Couldn't the baby have a little bit, babe?
00:06No.
00:07No.
00:09Put the plug in.
00:10Where is the plug?
00:11The plug?
00:12Dummy, he's yelling for his dummy.
00:14It was in my pocket, but it must have fallen out
00:15for a while at Mackie D's.
00:16Okay, we've got to turn around.
00:17Oh, no, we're not going around.
00:19I can't do another hour in the car.
00:20He's so loud.
00:21He really is.
00:22He's like a young Tom Jones.
00:23Put the finger in.
00:24Rub in.
00:24A clean one.
00:25Put it in now, babe.
00:26Okay, suck on this, big man.
00:29There you go, son.
00:29Ah.
00:30Thank God for that.
00:31Oh, what a relief.
00:32Okay.
00:33Robin, is there any way you can keep your finger in?
00:36Well, not for the next two days.
00:37No, he's got an extremely hard suck.
00:39He really does.
00:40My nips are like a couple of dog cheats.
00:42You should see him.
00:43Huh?
00:44Look, I'll pass the food around, Mum.
00:46I'm starving.
00:47Yeah, yeah.
00:48Maybe, actually, if we did go back,
00:49we could get my eye mask.
00:51No way.
00:51Oh, come on, it's 11.
00:53We've got ages.
00:53Well, until midnight.
00:55But there's still plenty of hoot and honey pre-prep to do.
00:58Okay?
00:58I've got to get in the sauna.
01:01I've got to set up the fireworks.
01:02Why are you putting the fireworks in the sauna?
01:04No, they're two separate tasks, Cherry Muller.
01:07And we're not going back for the eye mask.
01:09Oh, Sam, take your food then, mate.
01:10I can't.
01:11I'm filming.
01:11Well, what kind of eye mask is it?
01:13Like a make-up one, yeah.
01:14No, I just need to wear it to bed.
01:16What, for sleeping or having sex with Paolo?
01:18Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:19Hilarious.
01:20Let's all laugh at Paul and his big boil.
01:22You didn't even mention the boil.
01:24Oh, whoa, hang on, babe.
01:25Hang on.
01:25Oh, Sam, Sam, seriously, take your food, mate.
01:27Just feed me it.
01:29Feed?
01:29No, I can't.
01:30I've got a finger in Alice's gop.
01:31Oh, no, babe, that's toppling the...
01:32Oh, my...
01:33Sam!
01:34Sam!
01:34Oh, Alice is covered in nuggets.
01:37She's covered in nugs, baby.
01:38He's covered in nugs.
01:39All right, relax.
01:40I know, but he's covered in nugs.
01:41The baby's covered in nugs.
01:43Okay, then, Dad, I'm filming.
01:44All right, all right, here we go.
01:46Let the Jessup family fireworks...
01:49Er, um, phantazaganza...
01:52That's not a word.
01:53Well, I just wanted something starting with an F.
01:55Um, er, er...
01:57The Jessup family fireworks...
02:00Flop, fire, fatal house fire.
02:03Oh, yeah, okay.
02:05Keep it light, mate.
02:06All right?
02:07Fatal house fire.
02:08The family fireworks night is meant to be fun, isn't it?
02:11Is it?
02:11It's commemorating a terrorist attack.
02:13Yeah.
02:14My family...
02:15Jessup family fireworks...
02:17Fun...
02:17Feast...
02:18Can we just get it over with, please?
02:20Oh, right, can we get it over with?
02:21Yeah, great attitude to have going into a fireworks display.
02:24Mad!
02:25Oh, you always spin it out.
02:27That's because I follow the firework code, Rach.
02:30All right?
02:30Safety first.
02:31That's why I have a safety bucket.
02:33And they're always crap, anyway.
02:35Every year.
02:35No, they're not.
02:36I've got one called Satanic Apocalypse this year, Amy, right?
02:41Which is going to go off like a bloody scud, in a good way.
02:45Okay?
02:46A scud.
02:47A dud, more like.
02:49Oh, he's so excited, look.
02:51I know, it's pathetic.
02:53I've never seen him so excited.
02:55I know.
02:57Here we go.
02:58Right, get down!
02:59Get down!
03:00Why?
03:01Down?
03:02What?
03:02No!
03:03Well, get back.
03:03Get back then, Mum.
03:04I am back.
03:06Can I move it away from the hedge, please?
03:07Not now that it's lit.
03:08No, no.
03:09You must never return to a lit firework, babe, okay?
03:12It's like the 11th Commandment.
03:14Okay, this one's called the Meteor Shower.
03:22More like the shit shower.
03:24Oh, my, Mum.
03:25Oh, my God.
03:26Is that it?
03:28Well, no, no, no.
03:29It's just, you know, it's gearing up for its, uh, the big...
03:32That's another bit.
03:33Yeah.
03:37No, I think that is it, yeah.
03:39Are you sure these aren't indoor fireworks?
03:42Of course I'm sure.
03:43Yes.
03:43Indoor fireworks.
03:44Don't be ridiculous.
03:45The big fancy ones are hugely expensive, Mum, okay?
03:49That's why the police are always seizing the unlicensed ones.
03:52Well, can't you get some of those, then, as a cop?
03:55I don't know.
03:56Sam, that's Holly, isn't it?
03:58No.
03:59No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
04:00Because she's at a proper fireworks display with her dad tonight.
04:02This is a proper display.
04:05Yeah, all right.
04:06Hang on to your member.
04:07It's the 5th of November.
04:09Dance!
04:10Dance, Rachel, dance!
04:11Dance!
04:12Dance, dance, girl, dance!
04:14Atlas!
04:15You're going to wake up Atlas?
04:16Yeah, so I've run out, though, anyway.
04:18Yeah, well, you're going to have to clean that up, aren't you?
04:19I'll clean them up.
04:20No, I'll be disgusted.
04:20No problem, yeah.
04:21They're, uh, devil bangers.
04:22Sorry.
04:23I'm just going to bung Atlas in here in case the fireworks waking up.
04:26No danger of that.
04:27Hi, Cherry.
04:28Robin.
04:29Interesting shirt.
04:30Oh, yeah, cheers.
04:31It's a cowboy one.
04:32Check this out.
04:34Whoa.
04:35It's a quick release because of the poppers.
04:37Yeah.
04:37Oh, wow.
04:38Do it up.
04:38It's cold out there.
04:39Yeah, I will, actually, yes.
04:41So, come on, then, you two.
04:42Dish the dirt.
04:43How's life in the old Flatshire shag palace?
04:46The what palace?
04:47Well, as in you're both single now, so I'm not suggesting you two were at...
04:50Although, you know, it's a free country.
04:51Nothing wrong with it.
04:52No.
04:52Yes, there is.
04:53She's my grandmother.
04:54Yeah, there is.
04:55Now, that would be appalling, wouldn't it?
04:56But she's an amazing flatmate.
04:58No.
04:58I'm using Nivea, listening to The Archers.
05:00It's ideal.
05:01Oh, I love The Archers.
05:02Yeah.
05:02What's happened to your car?
05:03Oh, yeah.
05:04Do you know, the front is all dented.
05:05Oh, yeah.
05:06Yeah, Mum pranked it last month.
05:07No.
05:07Oh, rage.
05:08Well, no, a bollard appeared out of nowhere.
05:11Right, yeah.
05:12Just sort of, like, threw itself into the road, didn't it?
05:14As in it wasn't there before.
05:15They've put width restriction bollards up at the end of Mercer's Road.
05:19What, for cars?
05:21Yes, sir, not for people, as far as I know.
05:23That would be controversial, to say the least.
05:24Yeah.
05:25Oh, well, quite.
05:26Yeah, my slimming club would be up in arms.
05:28Oh, actually.
05:29The radiator's damaged as well.
05:31It's making weird noises.
05:32Hey, Robin, Cherry, you all right?
05:34Yeah.
05:34What has happened to your face?
05:36Were you pranked that and all?
05:37Huh?
05:38Oh, no, he was just shaving.
05:41Shaving?
05:42Yeah.
05:42Up there?
05:43Yeah, why?
05:44That's high.
05:45Yeah.
05:45That's very high, brother.
05:46Is it?
05:46That's basically shaving your eyelids.
05:48You shouldn't shave up there.
05:49It's sensitive.
05:49There's hair there.
05:50Well, there shouldn't be.
05:51I'm meeting the slimming club at KFC in an hour, Paul.
05:55So, hurry up and light your big one.
05:57Yeah, all right, I will.
05:58Hang on, sorry, you're meeting at KFC?
06:01Well, that's not slimming, is it?
06:02As if you need a slimming club suit.
06:04You've got a cracking little bod.
06:06What?
06:06I could do with losing a few pounds, to be honest, Robin.
06:09Come off it.
06:10So, if anyone's wondering what to get me for Crimbo,
06:13I do need some scales.
06:15All right.
06:15At bathroom, not fish.
06:17Can we please finish his terrible fireworks?
06:20Don't say that.
06:20It's going to be fantastic.
06:22I'll get my coat.
06:22Hang on.
06:23Oh, yeah, it works.
06:24OK, this is it.
06:26Satanic apocalypse.
06:28I am become death.
06:31Destroyer of worlds.
06:31Just light it.
06:32Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:35Hurry up.
06:39OK, she's lit.
06:40Oh, dear.
06:45Come on, big boy.
06:46Yeah, wouldn't get your hopes up.
06:47Ah.
06:49Ooh.
06:49Oh.
06:51Yep.
06:54Oh.
06:56Very farty, isn't it?
06:57Yeah.
06:58Oh, yeah.
06:59Yeah, they're all farty.
07:00Silence, please, for satanic apocalypse.
07:04Oh.
07:05Pardon me.
07:05Just serious, guys.
07:13By the way, y'all, what are your plans for NYE?
07:17Because we get back from Chez's folks on the 29th.
07:19N-Y-E.
07:21What's that?
07:21It's short for New Year's Eve, short for New Year's evening.
07:24Oh, yeah.
07:25Are you still thinking about doing a party, Rach?
07:27I don't know, maybe, yeah.
07:28Sorry, a party?
07:29As in us hosting a party?
07:30We're not hosting a party, Rach.
07:31Yeah, we haven't done it for about ten years.
07:33I thought it might be fun.
07:34For the guests, yeah, not for us.
07:36Buying beer, reminding people to take their shoes off,
07:39scrubbing sick out the curtains.
07:40I'm so sorry again about that.
07:42It's all right.
07:42It's OK.
07:43I just thought it'd be nice for us all to be together, you know.
07:45We're not going to be together, are we?
07:47Mum's going to be with the slimmers,
07:49Sam's going to be with Holly's lot,
07:51and Amy, she's going to be working at the pub, right?
07:53If Lena can't find somewhere better to go, yeah.
07:55Well, I'd organise it all.
07:56What, like you organise fixing the car radiator?
07:59You haven't even taken the car to the body shop.
08:01The body shop?
08:02They don't do cars.
08:04They do soaps and creams and things like that.
08:07Body shop as in the garage, Mum.
08:10The garage?
08:11Yeah.
08:12Oh, large detail.
08:14It's garage, mate.
08:16Oh, God.
08:18Satanic apocalypse is finished.
08:20And it was, drumroll please.
08:22Shit.
08:23Yeah, great.
08:24Yeah.
08:2565 quid down the drain.
08:2665 quid?
08:27Well, yeah.
08:28Oh, do the spinny one.
08:30What's the, um...
08:31Oh, the lazy Susan.
08:33I love that one.
08:34Catherine Wheel?
08:35Sure.
08:37Well, look, we are thinking about renting an Airbnb,
08:41a cottage for New Year, if anyone wants in on that.
08:43Yeah.
08:44Yeah?
08:44That's great.
08:45We should do that.
08:46Let's do that.
08:47Why?
08:47So you can argue in front of Hooter Nanny in someone else's house?
08:50No, wait, me.
08:50Don't hammer it too hard, Dad.
08:52Huh?
08:52But we can't afford it anyway, can we?
08:55No.
08:56Well, you can if you Airbnb this place and all,
08:59and then you use the money to rent somewhere else.
09:02It's like Wife Swap for Aziz.
09:05Exactly.
09:05It's a premier life hack.
09:07There's actually no downsides.
09:08Oh, I want to have a party.
09:10OK, so, look, if no-one wants to Airbnb this place,
09:13then we'll do a party.
09:14But let's just try it.
09:15Yeah.
09:16You know, we could go somewhere really romantic.
09:17Yeah.
09:18Like, um, Devon or Wales, et cetera.
09:21Leeds.
09:22No, Devon.
09:23I just think it'll be really good for us, babe, you know,
09:26just a total change of scenery.
09:29It's not spinning.
09:31Oh, no.
09:32Dan hammered it in too hard.
09:34It's spinning the shed.
09:35Oh, God.
09:36Right, get the safety buckets out.
09:37Get the safety buckets out.
09:39I knew this was happening.
09:40Quite exciting, to be fair.
09:42It's a lot better than the fireworks.
09:45Yeah, stop shaking it.
09:46Holly, seriously.
09:47I want to know what it is.
09:48Yeah, I know.
09:49And you'll have to wait till tomorrow, won't you?
09:50It's a record player, isn't it?
09:52I'm not telling you.
09:53No.
09:54Maybe.
09:55Oh, yes, he's done it.
09:57What is it?
09:58He's done it.
09:58Dad.
09:59Oh.
10:00We've done it, Rach.
10:01Hi, Holly.
10:02Hi.
10:02We've only done it.
10:03What's happened, Dad?
10:04Huh?
10:04Yeah, someone's booked our house for New Year's.
10:07Get in there.
10:08What a shame.
10:09Huh?
10:10Oh, Paul, well done.
10:11Thanks, Mum.
10:12Well done?
10:13You didn't do anything?
10:14Look, if you list it, they will come, I guess.
10:16It's so weird.
10:17Why would anyone want to rent this place?
10:19Huh?
10:19What do you mean?
10:20To visit Bedford, of course.
10:22You know, you could go to the Bedford Autodrome.
10:25Which is closed until next year.
10:27No, Castle Mountain's open all year round.
10:28Yes, you can walk the mound.
10:29Thank you, Holly.
10:30You could go to...
10:31You could hit the skate park.
10:32You could go to Wix.
10:34Wix?
10:34Who cares, frankly.
10:35We've got renters, which means we could book a place for ourselves.
10:39And don't have to have a party, which is actually what you're pleased about.
10:42Yeah, where do you want to go, Rach?
10:43I want to stay here.
10:44The UK is our oyster.
10:46As in cold, wet and gross.
10:48Don't call the UK gross, Amy, all right?
10:51Why are you even here?
10:52What, in the UK?
10:54No, in the house.
10:56To get my work shirts ironed?
10:57Oh, no, does that mean you're definitely working next week?
11:00Well, I haven't heard about any parties, put it that way.
11:03You could always join our slimming group.
11:06We have booked an 11-course meal.
11:0911 courses, Mum?
11:11Seriously?
11:11Yeah, well, three of them are soups.
11:13What's that honking sound?
11:15Oh, that'll be my dad.
11:16Oh, yes.
11:18Oh, let me come and say hi.
11:19Please don't.
11:20Well, no.
11:21Mum, can I say goodbye to Holly myself, please?
11:24Oh, yeah, I understand.
11:25Um, Merry Christmas.
11:28Thanks for my not-a-record-player.
11:30See you next week.
11:31Merry Christmas.
11:32Merry Christmas!
11:33Sam!
11:33What's...
11:34Yeah, what?
11:35Sam, you got a nugget!
11:36Oh, God.
11:36Robin.
11:37Oh, God.
11:38Sorry, I tried not to look at the harness.
11:39Oh, my God, the state of you.
11:40The junkyard.
11:42Sorry to press the night.
11:43Yeah, it's all right.
11:43You just need a nugget.
11:44Yeah.
11:44What were you talking about?
11:45Oh, we're just down the climb centre down the road,
11:47and we need a nugget for the lockers, so...
11:49Oh, my God.
11:49A nugget?
11:50What is a nugget?
11:51Yeah, a nug, you know.
11:52Nugs Bunny.
11:53Nugs Bunny, a pound, a pound coin.
11:54A pound?
11:55You've come all this way for a pound.
11:57Yeah, you're a pound.
11:58Hi, guys.
11:58Hey, look, we've got a bookie for New Year's.
12:00Yes.
12:01So, yeah, Mission Cottage Rental is a go-go.
12:03That is excellent.
12:05Oh, Paolo.
12:06Hmm?
12:07You've been shaving under your eyes again.
12:08Yeah.
12:08Well, not under my eyes.
12:09I mean, I'm thorough, but I'm not...
12:10That's infected now.
12:11Look.
12:12Yeah, hence the nubbins.
12:13Nubbins?
12:14What nubbins?
12:14What are you talking about?
12:15It's gone weird.
12:15Ah, don't touch the nubbins, ow!
12:17You need to pop those before they turn into boils.
12:20Boils?
12:20I won't get boils, will I?
12:22Don't pop them.
12:23No?
12:23Once you pop them, you can't stop.
12:24Yes.
12:24Yeah, you want to milk them.
12:25Exactly.
12:26Get them hot, get them in a sauna or something like that, then milk them, you know, like you'd
12:28milk, I don't know, a rat.
12:29A rat?
12:30Have you milked a rat?
12:32Not yet, no.
12:34Yet.
12:35Find a place with a sauna for New Year, then we can milk them there.
12:38Jobs are good.
12:38Yeah.
12:39Yeah, but make sure it's still sort of rustic-y and cosy.
12:42Oh, it will need a mahousive garden, though, because I've got hold of some more fireworks.
12:48Really?
12:48Huh?
12:49No, no, no.
12:49What?
12:50Please, please don't make me sit through another of your endless, colourful fart displays.
12:55These ones are good, all right?
12:58They're big, unlicensed ones from Slovenia.
13:00I got them from the Bedford Police auction.
13:02Oh, OK, OK.
13:03Yeah?
13:03They're going to be banging.
13:04OK.
13:05Right, who wants a pound, then?
13:07Oh, yes, please, Susan, yeah.
13:08OK.
13:09Oh, my God, you look like a couple of VW Beatles.
13:13Oh, yeah.
13:14The lovebirds.
13:15Oh, my God.
13:16Oh, my God.
13:17Oh, my God.
13:18Oh, we're eating here.
13:19No, we're just, sorry, mid-sesh at the climbing centre, hence the harnesses, the harn-eye.
13:24You're into climbing now, are you?
13:25Well, I am.
13:26Rob just doesn't reach me.
13:27Yeah, I do enjoy it, but, no, obviously there's no future in it, so...
13:30What?
13:30Why not?
13:31Well, two words, Sam.
13:32Jetpacks.
13:33That's one word, isn't it?
13:34It could be, actually, yeah.
13:36Point is, Elon reckons that by Elon Musk, that by 2030, we will be all on jetpacks, so...
13:44Everywhere.
13:45We won't need to climb, and we probably won't even use stairs.
13:48Well, you're not going to put a jetpack on to go to bed, surely?
13:52I think I'll be looking for any excuse I can to use it, to be honest, too, especially if
13:56I bought it.
13:57It's going to be expensive.
13:58Right, well, I'm off for lunch with the slimmers if you two want to lift back to the
14:03climbing gym.
14:03Sibu, very much play, Susan, I love that.
14:05Lunch, it's 10.30.
14:07Well, I know, it's an all-you-can-eat place, so we want to get there nice and early.
14:12Is this lemon grape doing all-you-can-eat?
14:13Good idea, that.
14:14Well, it works out cheaper.
14:15Oh, OK.
14:16Some of them can really put it away.
14:17Oh, great.
14:18Come on, then, boys.
14:19Surely, merry Crimbo, Jessops.
14:21Yeah, same to you, Dean.
14:23That's our milk.
14:24Whose present is this, by the way?
14:26Oh, yeah, that's one of mine for Granny, I think?
14:29Did you not label yours?
14:30Well, no, but it will be.
14:33Is there not a sort of thatchy type one, you know, like...
14:37No, the ones with saunas tend to be a bit more sort of suburban.
14:40Suburban.
14:41Yeah, yeah.
14:42No, just leave it, Rachel, all right?
14:43I promise you I will find somewhere absolutely amazing.
14:48OK.
14:49OK.
14:52Yeah!
14:52Whoop!
14:53Whoop!
14:54Yeah!
14:54Here we are!
14:56This is it!
14:57Number 65, huh?
14:59Good, huh?
14:59What do you think?
15:00I mean, it's exactly like our house.
15:02Huh?
15:03No, that's lazy journalism, Sam.
15:05I mean, our bay windows are a lot lower than those.
15:09A bit lower.
15:11It's like your roads, you know.
15:12Can you stop?
15:13We're in the West Country.
15:15OK?
15:15It's a completely different vibe, you know?
15:18And the air is thicker and saltier.
15:22Oh, we near the sea then?
15:23No.
15:23No.
15:24No, well, we had to prioritise the sauna over the coast.
15:27This is like the Twilight Zone.
15:29What?
15:29We've basically rented our own house, but in Devon.
15:32Yeah.
15:33What are you talking about?
15:36Oh, you've got that, Blanpop.
15:37Oh, yeah.
15:37Good.
15:38Nice, eh?
15:38Love you.
15:39No, no.
15:40God, it even smells like our house.
15:41Exactly, it smells great.
15:42As long as they get hooting any down here, I'm easy, to be honest.
15:46Is he asleep yet?
15:47Er, I'll check.
15:49Yes, he's down.
15:51Oh, my God.
15:52Babe, look at your finger.
15:54Oh!
15:55Oh, that's not good.
15:57I think it's dead.
15:57He must have sucked the life out of it.
15:59Oh, just the new dummies on Amazon.
16:01Get me a quiz.
16:02Yeah.
16:02Yeah.
16:03Oh, God.
16:03I'm worried about that.
16:04What?
16:05God.
16:06It's so soft.
16:07Huh?
16:08You guys have got to try this tap water.
16:10It is seriously soft.
16:11It's like another world.
16:11Okay.
16:12Great, so we've travelled five hours for softer water.
16:15Just water, right?
16:17And the sauna.
16:18Let's crank up the sauna here.
16:20Help me find it, Sam.
16:21Oh, my God.
16:21Babe.
16:22Amazon are saying next year.
16:24The dummies?
16:25What?
16:25Yeah, it's the 31st of December.
16:27Yeah.
16:28Yeah.
16:28Yeah.
16:29Yeah.
16:29So that checks out, then.
16:30Doesn't it?
16:31Hang on.
16:31Where's Sam sleeping?
16:32Because there's only two bedrooms.
16:34Yeah, yeah.
16:35He's on a camp bed in our room, unfortunately.
16:37Ah, okay.
16:38Nothing says romantic mini break like having a 17-year-old son in your corner of your room.
16:42Yeah.
16:42Well, what's the name of your girlfriend, then, Sam?
16:45Holly?
16:46Yeah, we had an argument.
16:48Yeah, he got us some bathroom scales for Christmas.
16:50By mistake.
16:51Oh, Samuel.
16:52You dipshit.
16:53Well, yeah, they were meant for granny.
16:54I said sorry, yeah.
16:56She was really not happy.
16:57No kidding.
16:59Oh, my guys, you have got to see this!
17:00Amy, hang on.
17:01Amy?
17:02Everything all right?
17:03Now, that's what I'm talking about.
17:04Woo!
17:05A garage sauna.
17:06Hang on.
17:06Garage.
17:07That's better.
17:07Yeah.
17:08Oh, yeah.
17:08Your boil is going to pop open like a piñata.
17:11Oh, gross.
17:12Can you wait until after we've been in to do that?
17:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:15I promise, I will not touch the boil until I am as hot as Hades, John.
17:19That is a cast-iron promise.
17:20Are you coming in, then, Robin?
17:21Oh, just a bit, mate.
17:22Oh!
17:22Oh, no!
17:23This is not a cowboy one, Robin.
17:26That's the third shirt I've ruined like that, honestly.
17:28That was your Christmas present in all.
17:30You don't know.
17:30I'm so sorry, babe.
17:31I've got a spare one in my bag, but, yeah.
17:33Oh!
17:33Yeah?
17:34Something's happened.
17:35Yeah, Robin's buttons.
17:36We'll clear them up.
17:36No, no, no.
17:36I mean, at home, that was Amy.
17:38Her friend, Lena, has found out about a party.
17:41Well, Amy's working.
17:42She can't go.
17:42No, I mean, as in, at our house.
17:45They've been invited to a house party.
17:48At our house.
17:49Well, that doesn't work.
17:50We've rented it out.
17:51No, exactly.
17:52Well, the people that have rented it aren't going to want that, are they?
17:54The people that have rented it out are the ones that are throwing a party.
17:56That's why they rented it out.
17:57Yeah.
17:59Yeah.
17:59Well, they can't do that, can they?
18:01Yeah, well.
18:01Yeah, of course, it happens all the time.
18:02Jelson's done it several times, hasn't she?
18:04Why didn't you mention it when you told us to rent our place out?
18:08Oh, look at the stage.
18:09No downsides, you said.
18:10Yeah.
18:11Apart from that, yeah.
18:12Yeah, apart from that.
18:13Well, I'm afraid we're going to have to go back.
18:15Oh, no.
18:16No, we have to.
18:17No way.
18:18I haven't even gone in the sauna yet.
18:20Well, could you get any of your rosamates along to shut it down?
18:22Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
18:23Well, no, I mean, there's nothing illegal about a house party, is there?
18:27Oh, Jesus, Louisa.
18:29The house.
18:30Right, no, I'm just going to go in the sauna for a little bit and just work things out.
18:33I need to work out what to do.
18:35Is he cooking the sauna?
18:36He's in.
18:37In he goes.
18:38Um, ooh, that's coming off.
18:40He's getting naked.
18:41Could Sue shut it down?
18:44Sue, no.
18:44Well, that's a lot to ask, isn't it, for a 77-year-old lady?
18:47A sprightly one.
18:48She's with her slims anyway.
18:49What about Dean?
18:49Dean is on a pub climb with the crawlers.
18:52Yeah, I don't trust him anyway.
18:53I don't trust him anyway.
18:53A pub crawl with the climbers.
18:55Sorry.
18:56So I'll give him a call.
18:56Oh, come on.
18:58We have to go.
18:58We have to go.
19:00Come now, please.
19:01He's not happy.
19:02It's a five-hour drive.
19:03Got to go, mate.
19:05Got to go.
19:07You.
19:07Me?
19:08I haven't even got a sweat on yet.
19:10Why are you blaming me?
19:11Could Holly maybe go around there, do you think, Sam?
19:14No, she's ignoring me.
19:15What about Amy?
19:16Yeah, she's going to leave work early and get to the house.
19:19Sue's on the sixth course out of 11.
19:21They're going to head over once we've paid up.
19:22Well, we might need a bit more muscle than that, though.
19:25Do you know what I mean?
19:25If you want to chuck them out.
19:26Dino.
19:28Dino.
19:29Sorry.
19:30Yes, brother.
19:31Do you get my textual intercourse?
19:33Robin.
19:34No, babe.
19:34It's funny.
19:35It's not funny at all.
19:36It is.
19:37Gross.
19:38Just a bunch of renters who are having a party.
19:40Well, get down there and, you know, boot them out.
19:43Yeah, no mercy.
19:44Sweet.
19:45OK, love you too.
19:47What's that noise?
19:48Dino is on it.
19:50Like a carb on it.
19:51Actually, um, what is the car?
19:53Is the car all right?
19:54Oh, God.
19:55It's the radiator.
19:56Yeah.
19:56I thought you were going to get that fixed.
19:58Yes, well, we didn't, obviously.
20:00Uh, so what does that mean?
20:01Um, is that bad?
20:02It's bad, isn't it?
20:03It sounds bad.
20:04Oh, the car's overheating.
20:05Look.
20:05Yeah, it's overheating.
20:05But we can get home, right?
20:07Oh, my gosh.
20:08Maybe.
20:09Maybe?
20:09What do you mean, maybe?
20:10I'm so sorry.
20:11I should have fixed it.
20:12Look, look, look.
20:13If we pump hot air into the cockpit, we might be able to cool the engine down.
20:16OK.
20:16All right?
20:17Yeah.
20:17Yeah.
20:18Oh, God.
20:19Oh, my God.
20:20Oh, my God.
20:20Oh, my God.
20:22OK, well, I'll have to open a window, I think.
20:23Oh, God, don't open a window to wake Atlas, you bell.
20:29OK, OK, sorry, sorry.
20:30That is unbearably hot.
20:31How long till we get home?
20:32Well, it was going to be a couple of hours, but I'm going to have to go at 20 now.
20:34Oh, my God.
20:35To get the temperature down.
20:36Oh, dear.
20:36So it might be a bit longer, or a lot longer.
20:39Sorry, everyone.
20:39It is absolutely roasting in here.
20:44Babe, it is not a cowboy ride.
20:46Not again.
20:46Oh, come on.
20:48Come on, Beryl, old girl.
20:49Don't die on me.
20:50Who's Beryl?
20:51Huh?
20:51The car.
20:52The car's called Beryl.
20:53I didn't know I had a name.
20:54She.
20:55She has.
20:56And it's Beryl.
20:57How far to go, is it?
20:58Oh, about half a mile.
20:59Our road's just here.
21:00Oh, God.
21:01Oh, come on, Beryl.
21:02Come on.
21:02Come on, you can do it, babe.
21:03Oh, I'm sweating like an absolute onion, Daniel.
21:06You're sweating.
21:06I'm sodding here.
21:07Well, you did ask for a sauna.
21:09Good point, actually.
21:10How's my boil?
21:11Your boil?
21:13Yeah, it's better.
21:14Yeah?
21:14It must have milled itself on the driver.
21:16Oh, yes.
21:17Yeah, I thought I could feel something running down my face as we passed Newbury.
21:21I assumed it was just more sweat.
21:22Oh, this is wondrous news.
21:24Shall we just get out and walk?
21:25The car's well cranky now.
21:27We can make it.
21:27We're going to make it, Beryl.
21:28She can do it.
21:29Beryl.
21:29She's going to do it.
21:30Oh, my God.
21:32Oh, that didn't sound good.
21:35Beryl's dead.
21:36Yeah.
21:37Yeah.
21:38Let's just take a moment for Beryl, everyone.
21:40What?
21:42Beryl, old girl.
21:43Oh, God.
21:44I can't breathe.
21:44We're going to miss you.
21:46We're going to miss you forever.
21:47Okay.
21:48Okay, let's go.
21:48Okay.
21:49Oh, my God.
21:51Is that music?
21:52Yes.
21:52That's UK Garage, that.
21:54It's so beautiful.
21:55Snowman.
21:56Look at this.
21:57Oh, my God.
21:58Oh, look at it.
22:00Oh, my God.
22:01Oh, no.
22:03It's happening.
22:03I thought he was starting to get down.
22:05You ought to be heaving in there.
22:06It should be now, I think.
22:07Okay, everyone out.
22:09This is an unauthorized party.
22:11Happy New Year.
22:12Yeah, happy New Year.
22:13Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:13Let's bang at least in one of the bedrooms after this.
22:15Yeah.
22:16All right, come as soon as we watch.
22:17Happy New Year!
22:18Oh, wow.
22:19Okay.
22:20Okay.
22:21Well, thank you.
22:22No, Rach, we're supposed to be shutting it down.
22:24I'm parched and he died of thirst in the car.
22:26Well, yeah, so did I.
22:27So, you know, it's...
22:28Oh, God, that's good.
22:32Hard, bud.
22:32It's really good.
22:33Here, take that.
22:35Okay, ladies.
22:36Okay, ladies.
22:37Let's go.
22:38What?
22:39Yeah, you're leaving.
22:40Come with me.
22:41Piss off.
22:42I'm not leaving with you, you sweaty old creep.
22:44No, I mean, as in, it's my house.
22:47So what?
22:48I'm meant to fancy you because you have a house.
22:50Okay, Boomer.
22:51I wasn't...
22:52Boomer?
22:53I was born in 1978.
22:55No?
22:56I'm not...
22:57This is my wife.
22:58Rach, can you help me?
22:59I am.
22:59I'm his wife.
22:59This party is ending.
23:01We did not okay this.
23:03What?
23:03This is our house.
23:04What?
23:04It's 11.35.
23:06Is it?
23:07Oh, let them stay till midnight.
23:09Huh?
23:09No, no.
23:10No, no.
23:10No, no.
23:11This is law enforcement, right?
23:13We've got to stop it now before something gets broken or stained or both or burnt.
23:18You know?
23:19We can't just let people...
23:20I mean, look.
23:21There you go.
23:21Put that down.
23:22Oi, lad.
23:24Put that bow down.
23:25That bow is not a toy.
23:27This bow went to the Olympics.
23:29Right.
23:30Yeah.
23:30All right.
23:31We turfed out the shaggers and put Atlas in your room.
23:33Any son of Dean?
23:34But shaggers?
23:35What do you mean?
23:35There were shaggers in the...
23:36Oh, get it.
23:36Now he's in here.
23:37Dean!
23:37Dean!
23:38Hey!
23:38What are you doing?
23:39I hear me do this.
23:40Oh, yeah.
23:41It was you lot.
23:42Yeah, party!
23:44Dean!
23:44Dean!
23:45Dean!
23:45You're meant to be shutting this down.
23:47Yeah, yeah.
23:48No, I know.
23:48No, I got kind of drawn in and lashed.
23:51All right.
23:51Look, you've got tequila there.
23:52Look.
23:53Hey!
23:53Hey!
23:54Look, guys, guys, guys, we're not going to be drinking their stuff.
23:57Yeah, yeah, Steve, I want to have a drink.
23:59Yeah.
23:59Happy New Year.
24:00Cheers.
24:00Up the bum.
24:01Up the bum.
24:02Up the bum?
24:03Granny's here.
24:05Oh, we got here as soon as we could.
24:08Oh, well done, Mum.
24:08Hi.
24:09Hello.
24:10Hi.
24:11Did you bring the swimming club with you?
24:12I did, yeah.
24:13They're all starving.
24:15Starving?
24:16Who's had an 11-course meal?
24:18Three of them were soups.
24:19Yeah, I did tell him that, Bray.
24:21There's loads of food here, actually, Granny.
24:22Is there?
24:23Oh.
24:23Don't worry, Donald.
24:25There is food.
24:26Now he's there.
24:28Oh, big dig on that.
24:29Oh, no, friends have got garlic bread.
24:31And there's chicken nuggets.
24:32That's...
24:33Oh, there's Amy.
24:34Oh, no, sorry.
24:35It's good.
24:35Granny!
24:36Oh, no, it's good.
24:38Oh, no, it's okay, Poppy.
24:40Oh, my goodness.
24:41That's my yogurt, mate.
24:42Oh, this is...
24:44Oh, happy New Year.
24:45Put that yogurt down.
24:46Hi.
24:47Hi, sorry.
24:47Yeah, you can't be here.
24:48This is a pirate party.
24:49Oh, no, it's okay, Poppy.
24:51They're with me.
24:51It's cool.
24:51No, it's okay, because it's our house.
24:54This is our house, Poppy.
24:55No one invited you.
24:57I'm a friend of Lena's.
24:58Do you know Lena?
24:59No.
25:00You're going to have to leave.
25:01No, no, no, no.
25:02This is our house.
25:03Yeah.
25:03That's our stuff.
25:04Exactly.
25:05In the photo.
25:05Yeah, anniversary.
25:07Okay, and we've rented it out, so it's up to us, isn't it?
25:09I mean, surely not.
25:11Please, please, please, please, please, please let us stay.
25:13Please.
25:14We're good guests.
25:15We're good value as guests.
25:16Don't negotiate with them, Rachel.
25:18Good value?
25:19How do you work that out?
25:20You're eating all of our food?
25:21No, not all of it.
25:22No, no, that's the, um, that's the slimming club.
25:24That's not us.
25:24Yeah, Donald.
25:25Slow down.
25:26Slow down.
25:27And you're drinking our booze?
25:29Yeah, but we've got fireworks, haven't we, Paul?
25:30We've got fireworks from Slovakia.
25:32You can set them off at midnight.
25:33Really?
25:34Have you?
25:35Well, they're from Slovenia, not Slovakia,
25:36but otherwise that's correct, yeah.
25:40Yeah, all right, fine.
25:41Yeah.
25:42Oh, thank you.
25:42Thank you so much.
25:44Genuinely thanking someone for letting us stay at our own house.
25:48Robin, help us bring the fireworks in.
25:50Yo.
25:51This party's slamming.
25:53Okay, back up, everyone.
25:55This is a big unit right here.
25:57There's Slovenian explosives coming through.
26:00Look out, Sam.
26:01Give me some space to lay them out.
26:02Okay, then.
26:03All right.
26:04I think this has worked out quite well, you know.
26:06I know, I can't believe it.
26:07They're basically throwing a party for us.
26:10It's amazing.
26:11And everyone's together.
26:12Yeah.
26:13It's everything I wanted.
26:14Okay, everyone, here we go.
26:16Ten.
26:17Nine.
26:17Huh?
26:18Hang on, we're not ready.
26:19Well, it's a countdown.
26:20They can't do it in the countdown.
26:20They're packed up.
26:21I need to lay them out individually.
26:23Just light one of them, then.
26:24They're stuffed together.
26:24I can't just light one.
26:26So light the lot, then.
26:27Quick, Dan, it's midnight.
26:29Fireworks.
26:30Light the fireworks.
26:31I'm good, okay.
26:31I'm lighting them.
26:32Okay, go, go.
26:33Okay, down.
26:34Everyone get down.
26:35Get down.
26:36I don't want to get down.
26:37We're back.
26:38Okay, here we go.
26:40Oh!
26:43Yes!
26:44Yes!
26:45Yes!
26:46Yes!
26:47Yes!
26:48Yes!
26:49That was sweet!
26:50Yes!
26:51That was sweet!
26:52Yes!
26:53Yes!
26:54That was actually really cool.
26:55Yes?
26:56Yes!
26:57Yes!
26:58I mean, it's a lot quicker that way, right?
27:00I know, it's fantastic.
27:01Oh, it's nuts!
27:02What did you think?
27:03Uh, I think, you know, fireworks.
27:07Oh, it's nice.
27:08Thanks.
27:09Thanks.
27:10Oh, it's so sweet.
27:11Happy New Year.
27:12Happy New Year.
27:13Oh, it's nice.
27:14Go on, mate!
27:15Hey, for the cops!
27:16Hoi!
27:17Hoi!
27:18Hoi!
27:19Hoi!
27:20Hoi!
27:21Hoi!
27:22Hoi!
27:23Hoi!
27:24Hoi!
27:25Hoi!
27:26Hoi!
27:27Hoi!
27:28Hoi!
27:29Hoi!
27:30Hoi!
27:31Hoi!
27:32Hoi!
27:33Hoi!
27:34Hoi!
27:35Okay, okay?
27:36Hoi!
27:37Hoi!
27:38Hoi!
27:39Hoi!
27:40Hoi!
27:41Hoi!
27:42Hoi!
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